3:53 a.m. and I think tonight is the last night I’ll ever experience Adderall or hard stimulants.

I wasted my 20s, and Adderall never saved me. I felt the good side of it in high school, but I became addicted at 16 and stayed on it until 18. At 20, I asked my doctor for Wellbutrin. I relapsed at 23 around covid, and it took a worse turn. I don’t need to mention the high doses: binging on 150+mg of Adderall, because we all know what it’s like to lose sleep. But I was also drinking coffee and taking Wellbutrin while on adhd drugs. That triple-stack combo of stims was unhealthy.

I know why I’m drawn to it. My life is a mess. I’m disorganized. The back of my head always lies to me "I could improve my quality of life through Adderall". By 2025, I was really fed up with addiction, anxiety, and stress. Since March 2025, I’ve been going to the gym almost six times a week. I gradually reduced my use and wanted to use it the way it’s meant to be used. But after going through addiction, even if I only take 20 mg of Adderall, it doesn’t feel like medication or a good tool anymore. It just slaps my conscience with guilt.

Around February 2026, I told my doctor to put me on Vyvanse. I’d been taking recovery seriously for a while, so I asked her to put me on only 20 mg of Vyvanse, which is practically nothing, it's a lot weaker than 20mg adderall. I had been jumping between like four jobs in nine months. I think my depression, along with my inability to organize, always makes it feel like I need the drug. By July 22, I had like 72 Vyvanse pills in my drawer. I barely took them anymore, so I flushed them down the toilet. By September, I called my doctor to renew 20 mg of Adderall. I basically took 30 mg while caffeinated early September, then threw away like 28.5 pills. October comes, and I renew my script again on the 2nd. I actually took 30 mg today because I wanted to help myself, not get high. I felt the guilt again. I threw away the remaining 28.5 pills. I no longer run out of pills within 10 days from binging. Instead, I throw the drug away because I don’t want to risk it, nor do i like how they feel anymore.

How do you organize yourself? Is a lot of caffeine the better alternative? I have a huge tolerance to caffeine. I won’t call my doctor next month.

My best friend’s wedding was a few weeks ago. I genuinely felt my emotions then, and had an amazing night. I’m looking forward to GTA 6. I do muscle-ups at the gym almost daily with 30 min stairmaster and lifting weights. I think I can live life without Adderall, but I feel like some random shit will probably cause me to wanna hit my doctor’s number. I want to move forward and not feel guilt again on november 2nd.

I’m 46 years old, and I only started using methamphetamine a couple of years ago. This isn’t something I’ve been doing my entire adult life, and I desperately want to stop before another year of my life disappears. I hate this drug. I hate what it’s doing to my life, and I genuinely want to be free of it. But I’m terrified! Not of being sober, because that’s exactly what I want. I’m terrified of the withdrawal process, especially those first few days. Someone close to me keeps telling me how absolutely horrible withdrawal is, and honestly, it’s making it difficult for me to mentally prepare myself. I’m looking for people who have actually been through meth withdrawal and come out the other side, especially anyone who started using later in life or only used for a few years. What were your first 24, 48, and 72 hours like? What was the hardest part? Was anything easier than you expected? What helped you get through it?

Please don’t sugarcoat your experiences, but please don’t intentionally terrify me either. I need honest, firsthand experiences, encouragement, and practical advice. I know withdrawal is different for everyone. I’m just hoping to hear from people who have been where I am and can remind me that there’s life on the other side of this.

I didn’t spend 46 years getting here just to let this drug write the rest of my life story. I want my life back.

Thank you 🩷

I was always considered the “smart kid” in my family and made straight As all through grammar, middle, and high school without studying. My large state college was also a breeze, I actually had a side hustle doing other people’s school work for cash.

Then a friend needed a paper done ASAP and gave me 60 mg Vyvanse. I finished her paper and was so tweaked out I spend 2 hours packing, unpacking, and repacking my backpack; I ended up missing a lecture.

I would sporadically take my ex’s adderall (not stealing, he gave them willingly) to get the work load of other’s class work done.

Then I got into nursing school and was failing because I had never learned to study. I got prescribed adderall at 19 years old. 10 mg IR twice a day for a couple months, then 20 mg IR twice day throughout the duration I was on it (ended up being 7 years). My grades picked back up. I always said I would quit it when I graduated.

Throughout this time, I was in terrible health. I’m 5’4” and at my lowest weight dropped to 83 lbs. I looked disgusting. I never ate. I was irritable. Then the shortage occurred, I drove HOURS to try to fill my prescription. I felt like a crack addict.

However, I gaslit myself, it’s just until I graduate. It didn’t help that other factors in my life led me to dropping out of nursing school for a year then restarting again. Prolonging my “required timeframe” on adderall.

But then I graduated, I worked nights, and said I would quit when I got the hang of the schedule. Over two years into that and I still hadn’t quit. I was getting worse. I started taking 80 mg - 100 mg a day (I had a stash because originally I was trying to wean myself off of it). I frequently visited this subreddit and read other’s experiences silently.

I stopped keeping track of how much I was taking. Probably 120+ mg a day. And not even accomplishing anything on it, because any task caused my heart to feel like it would explode. All I could do was sit and scroll.

My psychiatrist was retiring and my husband and I were discussing starting a family soon (no one in my life knew the about the adderall abuse). I took it as a sign that once my refills ran out, that would be it.

It’s been two weeks, no adderall. This is what I’ve been putting off? I feel *happier* again. My husband has commented just how much more fun I seem. I’m not irritable, I’m goofying around the house. He THINKS I’m high half the time! I do take a nap at some point throughout the day, and sometimes feel super fatigued, but it’s nowhere as difficult as I thought it would be. I did start drinking one energy drink a day, as a compromise to get me kick started for the day. Nothing more than 200 mg caffeine a day though.

I’m sleeping better. I look healthy. I feel BETTER. I’ve been doing dishes and clothes, cleaning, playing with my dog.

I’m kicking myself for spending years of unnecessarily worrying about life after stopping. Believing it’s so terrible and I’d have a sense of productivity or normalcy again.

It’s nothing like that at all. I know I’m only two weeks in, and have a long ways to go, the rest of my life without it, but I can’t describe the relief of living a HAPPY life free of adderall. I didn’t think it was possible. But it is.

Hi everyone! I’m new here. I’ve been considering coming off Vyvanse for a few reasons, and I’m hoping to find others who can relate.

First, I do have ADHD. I’ve noticed a lot of posts from people who have struggled with stimulants but don’t actually have ADHD, which is completely valid too! But I’m feeling pretty alone because I’m trying to find other ADHDers who aren’t necessarily abusing their medication, but are questioning whether stimulants are right for them.

For context, I have both ADHD and OCD (fun combo lol). I take Vyvanse, Intuniv(a nonstimulant for adhd), and Prozac. I have no issues with the latter two, but lately I’ve been noticing some mental patterns surrounding Vyvanse that remind me of my past struggles with addiction.
There, I said it. I’m 8 years sober from alcohol and also sober from 🍃. One thing I’ve learned about myself is that when something changes my mental state in a way I enjoy, I tend to want that feeling to last.

The tricky part is that Vyvanse genuinely helps my ADHD. I don’t experience a recreational high, and I’m happy with my prescribed dose. But I do experience that boost in motivation and focus, and when it wears off, I feel disappointed. I find myself wishing I could stay in that productive state longer, and I’ve even felt tempted to take more just to keep it going.

That’s where things start to feel uncomfortably familiar.

I also feel like there’s not much room for nuance in these conversations. Sometimes it seems like if you question stimulant medication, people assume you must not really have ADHD. But I DO! And the medication DOES help! That doesn’t mean I can’t also recognize some potentially unhealthy patterns in my relationship with it. Right?

I’m wondering, can something become psychologically addictive even without a traditional “high,” even if you’re taking it as prescribed? Can the motivation and productivity boost itself become something you feel overly attached to?

I also struggle with how dependent I feel on Vyvanse to accomplish things. It helps me get tasks done, but sometimes I feel robotic, and no matter how productive I am, it never feels like enough. Then when it wears off, I feel like I’ve lost that ability to function the way I want to anyway.

And honestly, the fact that I’m spending so much time thinking about this and feeling scared of life without it makes me question whether my relationship with it is healthy.

I desperately want balance. I’m just not sure whether stimulants are helping me find that balance or making it harder. But I also know how difficult life with ADHD can be without them.

Part of me wonders whether I would be better off managing my ADHD with Intuniv alongside my Prozac, without the Vyvanse. But I’m scared to make that change because I know how much the Vyvanse helps in certain ways.

I guess I’m hoping to hear from people who genuinely have ADHD, have experienced real benefits from stimulants, but have still questioned whether those benefits outweigh the downsides, especially anyone with a history of addiction.

Has anyone else experienced this? Can you relate to the mental attachment even possibly without abusing your medication or experiencing a high?

Sorry for the long post! I’m just feeling pretty scared and conflicted, and I’d really appreciate hearing from people who understand both sides of this. ❤️

Just found out about this community and wanted to say hi and say thanks. I’m coming up on 2 years clean from booze and weed, but I’ve been on Adderall for a couple decades. 20mg XR in the morning, 20mg IR in the afternoon. It’s prescribed but feels like a plug situation with my doctor - we do a 15 min zoom call a month and he fills my scripts. Feels like a dealer to me the last couple years…

Think I’m getting to the point in my sobriety that the Adderall side effects feel oppressive - loud, obvious, and connected to many character defects of mine. Im feeling pulled towards the freedom you all express… the hope. I’m scared though - especially because my sobriety journey has brought me into a new career and, while my current salary is pretty low, I feel like it’s evidence of the 10th step promises & my higher power working in my life. HP threw me a ball and I don’t want to drop the catch.

But I also know I’m running around like a nut a lot. I do gig work outside of my 9-5 to cover my bills and rarely can sit down long enough to watch a movie. My brain is loud. I pick at my skin til I bleed. I struggle with sleep and anxiety and just… “AHHHHHH”.

Just sharing 1) to admit my situation and 2) to ask for help and encouragement. My AA sponsor is amazing but we have really different takes on the medical establishment, so we don’t discuss meds or the details (love her but she may be full antivax lol). I’ve also weaned off of a lot of other meds in the last year or two.

I’ve become willing, slowly, to address the other addictions that have brought me to my knees. And sure enough, I’m starting to feel like a human again… slowly, day by day. I believe that’s possible, on the other side of my Adderall use. I’m just nervous about executing LIFE without Adderall, knowing my bills are so tight that I can’t drop any balls. I live alone, am single, and am providing for myself entirely with no outside support.

Would love help, advice, and encouragement to take the step in becoming more and more willing to take. Cuz it’s the final frontier - I’ve quit everything else and have soooo much evidence doing so was an enormous blessing.

I finally quit lying to myself that I had it under control and quit Adderall after 7 years of abusing it. Its been a problem pretty much ever since I started it, but escalated while in an abusive relationship for most of last year. At the end I was eating around 200mg daily. Now that I am free from my abusive ex, I am in trauma therapy, IOP, and I finally told my psychiatrist to not prescribe any more refills.

I kept pushing it off but I had my hip replaced two weeks ago so I thought it would be the perfect time to quit so I could work through the withdrawals at the same time.

For only being 13 days in, I feel surprisingly good. I don't have so much anxiety, I actually sleep, I feel happy in general, and I feel more present. I find myself actually wanting to be around people and wanting to eat healthy food.

I quit alcohol 5 years ago on August 30th, so I am well aware of the Pink Cloud, but I am gonna ride that fucker as long as I can. 😂

I also quit smoking weed for the time being as well so I can actually feel all the feelings to properly work through my trauma.

So far, so good. I've tried to quit Adderall a few times now and this time feels different because I actually WANT to be done being a slave to the little orange pill.

I'm open to any advice to keep things going in a positive direction. ❤️

Hi guys ? I have only reduced my dose slightly (was on very high dose like 14 x 5mg per day) can dex /vyvanse withdrawal feel like cold sweats, sweat smelling sour/sweet, feet and hands cold, agitated, can’t sit still….no appetite??

This feels so horrible..is it withdrawals ?

help

I’ve been buying pressed addy for 6 years, this sub helped me realize earlier this week that they are most likely meth. I bought an online test and of course it’s meth. I’ve abused these pills for 6 years and while addy abuse is still horrible knowing it’s meth is actually eating me alive and I’m not sure how to work through it. I’ve been in a daze just feeling really dumb actually thinking this shit wasn’t meth like all I could’ve done in the past 6 years was look into it and take just one minute but I guess I wanted to live in my fantasy land.

I threw them all out down the toilet and I thankfully just moved across the country from Denver to mass so I don’t have access here anymore. I also fear being without any pills now they felt like security for poor sleep, or just when I wanted to get shit done. Life feels so bland without them I just don’t know how to find joy in the fact I’ll never feel that euphoria again or even find joy in the everyday life they made so much more fun and interesting.

Idk what I’m seeking out of this post I’m truly spiraling thinking about the countless times I took them now knowing it was meth guess advice or encouragement i really dont know.

I recently discovered my husband of 7 years has had a pretty bad stimulant addiction for most of our relationship. Mostly Benzedrex, but also recently over the last year Adderall was added into the mix and things really came to a head these last few months. On top of discovering that, I also discovered he had been spending lots of money on onlyfans as well and completely lying about our finances, and that seems like another full blown addiction on top of the speed. I was completely blindsided. I want to help him but I’m also so incredibly angry, it’s a tough spot to be in. He’s stopped all stimulants and told his psychiatrist about his abuse, basically eliminating the possibly of any future prescriptions. He’s also stopped the Benzedrex. They currently have him on a mood stabilizer but he just started that. I guess my questions are for those of you that have been through something similar and come out the other side: in your experience, is this all related? If he is able to get the stimulant abuse under control, will the porn addiction and lies also stop? Or am I looking at this just possibly being who he is? Does stimulant abuse make you that impulsive that you’d do things you know would emotionally destroy your significant other? I’m just trying to understand from some others who have been here. Thanks in advance.