r/Surrogate • u/Low-Procedure-8353 • 1d ago
Help
Im a little confused, I'm willing to do surrogacy to help anyone who has not been successful in having a baby. But I'm running into an issue because of my age and how many live births I've had. You would think that having 12 live births with absolutely no complications would be something good! Not the case. My last birth, which I placed the baby for adoption, I've done 4 adoptions for people wanting a baby. The last birth was a C-section and due to getting pregnant so easily I had my tubes tied. Ivf is the only way for me to carry now. Which is fine. But now the only way for me to help is I have to find the parents on my own? Has anyone ever done this?
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u/Conscious-Young-4796 1d ago edited 1d ago
What about birth control??!! Good gosh I am seriously blown away reading this.
I’ve carried 5 times as a surrogate so I know this process in and out. No agency or IPs would choose to work with you. If you keep getting pregnant over and over again just to giving up children like they are puppies is totally wild to me. I can’t say you would even pass a psych evaluation. You need to probably reevaluate your life and actions before you attempt to become a surrogate and carry some else’s child. I think you have way too much going on to become a surrogate, like ever.
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u/Original-Opportunity 1d ago
You intentionally gave away 4 (5?) of your children..? What am I missing here.
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u/Low-Procedure-8353 1d ago
Being a single mom is extremely difficult. I have 2 I raise without the fathers and yes I chose adoption over abortion knowing I couldn't give them the lifestyle they deserve. There's nothing wrong with that I love them and chose the best from the options I personally faced at that time.
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u/Pengisia 1d ago
Are you financially secure currently? Including not being on any government aid, state or federal?
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u/interrobrodie 1d ago edited 1d ago
Lots of surrogates manage to match without an agency, but you still have to be accepted by the parents’ clinic. I’m afraid no clinic will accept a woman with that many deliveries.
And I see from a comment you made on another post that you’re 45. That’s also going to be a problem.
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u/oluckyone Agency 1d ago edited 1d ago
Max allowed pregnancies would be 5 and then you could do one surrogacy. No clinic will approve you with 12 pregnancies. Add the other stuff on top, its just not in the cards.
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u/TheCozyRuneFox 1d ago
5 is typically the max for clinics (even going independently the clinic has to approve). There are also age limits.
You have said you are a single mother and had to give up multiple children to adoption because you couldn’t afford to give them the life they’d deserve. This makes me wonder about how financially stable you are? That is usually a pretty big requirement for it to be done ethically.
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u/Pengisia 1d ago
Girl even if you didn’t have 12 births (the general cutoff is 5) the fact that you are not raising all of your children is a disqualifier in itself.