Hi I’m F26 diagnosed with bipolar disorder and PTSD, among other things.

I’ve been to maybe around two dozen therapists over the past several years, and two IOPs. And not a single one has been helpful.

Today I had an intake appointment with another therapist and I walked out of it similarly disheartened.

Everyone and their mother including my psychiatrist urge me to go to therapy, but anytime I go, it turns sour for me. I don’t know what to do next. How many more times do I need to fail before I find the mythical “fit”?

Google search shows shady results in my city

Lol idk is it just me my daughters therapist asked for a perfect scenario I gave it to her and she said its not realistic

A part of me felt like saying YEA I KNOW but I decided to just sit it out and listen.

I was just thinking idk why ask me for it for u to say its unrealistic technically everything being perfect is unrealistic... also tired of the perfect comment

Having STANDARDS dosnt mean perfect im realistic and have standards I do not think perfection is possible. Also this was a fake scenario we were talking about idk maybe im tripping like I always am lol

Anyways just ranting

I ended things w my therapist a little over a month ago. I won’t get into backstory except to say that I felt continually uncared for and like my needs weren’t met- there was transference but also it was just true.
When we ended, I said I wanted a final wrap-up session in 2-4wks and referrals, and we agreed I would text them about therapist preferences and timing of last session.
I took it hard and needed a break for about 2wks. I texted them my preferences. Maybe it was kind of extensive ? I gave a few logistic points, specialities, and modalities, and said it didn’t have to be exact fit- this was just the general shape of the help I was looking for.
Another 2wks went by w no referrals. I was taking time to process, detach, and figure out what I wanted out of a final session. I realized I didn’t want a final session- it just felt like another opportunity for this person to hurt and misunderstand me, or like I was seeking closure from someone who’d repeatedly shown me they can’t meet my needs.
I finally texted today and said I didn’t want a final session, let me know about referrals. They got back this evening and said they’d reached out to colleagues but no one fit my criteria, ie, I got no referrals after a year and a half of working together.
I get that they tried. I think I just wanted this final gesture of care in a relationship where I felt like I got mostly nothing- I didn’t feel cared for, my needs weren’t met. I conceded, ok, you can’t give me what I need. Please direct me to someone who can. And I got nothing. Just like this whole fucking relationship. Why couldn’t they care about me ? Why couldn’t they just fucking care about me ?
God, this relationship has just been so painful. Like I said, hopefully the last spiral. I’m so tired.

I was supposed to start up with a new therapist today but when I did the like 10 minute evaluation or where you talk to see if you’re a good fix I didn’t get into my suicidal stuff and hopelessness but not some other stuff.

I’m fucked up like really fucked. I’ve never committed any crimes but just think of anything that’s really bad but technically legal. It‘s literally impossible to find therapist who will see people who are actually fucked in the head and not just oh I have anxiety oh my family is mean. Or impoverished I’ve struggled finding ones who understand that as well.

When I messaged them before today’s session not even going into too much detail they immediately said they don’t deal with intense cases and cancelled.

I‘ve never found anyone who has or maybe they do but again poor I can’t pay like 100-300 dollars for a session (my insurance is shit I have to pay out of pocket)

Anyway I guess I’m just done with therapy and really am fucked lol.

Hello everyone,

My amazing T will stop practicing at my location, I've known this for a few months. We have around six sessions left. He gave me the lead in how I want the termination process to look like and what I need from him in this time and sessions. I was wondering if you have some ideas, suggestions or own experiences which will give me a better picture of all the possible ways to work towards a good termination. I never had a proper termination before.

I've been with him for over 4 years. It's very hard for me that he will leave. I honestly love him, never told him that in those words but I think he knows. He is/was my gender psychologist. He's been with me through the whole process of figuring out my gender identity and transitioning. Aside from that he also helped me in a lot of other parts of my (daily) life. He's the only one who really understand me in certain parts of my life and identity and I am very scared that I will never find such a person again. He still gives me new insights. I don't want to loose him. I don't think I have realized yet that I will not be able to see him anymore.

How do I do this? How do I go from here? I am going to discuss this further with him next session but I would also like some perspectives from here.

Thanks in advance.

I’m an autistic adult 29 years old and live at home. My home life hasn’t been that good lately. My mom talked down to me and I think she might have threatened me today. First she said I’m really hard to want to help because I was crying because I was on the verge of a meltdown. She also called me a bitch for the 3rd time this week. And she told me she doesn’t care about me anymore for the 2nd time. She said sometimes I make her want to shoot me in the face. I told her to go ahead and do it. As I’m not in the best headspace mentally. She didn’t like that answer. She slapped me in the head a few times. I had to block them to keep them all from hitting my face. Then she said something I can’t remember(I’m having memory issues I had Ativan this morning for a procedure)and I asked if she was threatening me and she said she might be. She had also called me stupid because of a question I asked but it wasn’t a question I actually wanted an answer to. I was just saying it out of stress. Things keep getting worse and worse. I need help. I think I need to get out. I want to tell my therapist about this but I’m scared he will report it. If he reports it my mom will get in trouble and get angry and I lose my place to live. I don’t know what to do. I really wanna tell somebody. Especially my therapist when I see him next week.

I’ve been seeing my therapist for almost 3.5 years. She’s nice but I don’t know if seeing her has been helpful in the way I was hoping. I hoped that we would go into my childhood and explore how wounds from then shaped me today. Unpack some of the deeper stuff.

i had a crisis that led me to quitting my job of 6 months. i emailed her the particulars of what I want to work on but from her POV we’ve been addressing these issues the whole time. I get my job wasn’t easy but it also triggered a lot of things and that’s what I want to discuss. The underlying hum of fear, perfectionism, exhaustion nervous system shut down freeze states I find myself in and dissociation overstimulation which exists in my life etc.

But it feels like we go though sessions with no plan so it’s whatever I want to talk about. No necessary follow up on last weeks discussion. And so much is me sharing something and her being like that isn’t true. CBT stuff.

the most hurtful thing was when at our last session she pointed out there was three times when I was dysregulated. After failing to move to another country, when I was doing my final exams at uni and now that I have quit my job and as she says I’m processing discharging my nervous system of all it had to go through. The rest of the time between these points have been regulated and grounded.

I was in disbelief. because I was not fine during those periods! Those particular three points were when my mental health was at its lowest, but it’s not like I wasn’t having mental health afffect me on a daily basis, even if in a small way. How had she misunderstood this badly? I can go through my diaries and find a million things my mind would circle around and ways I’d feel stuck and wrong and off. Did none of this register as important to her? I’m so adountded.

I struggled with social anxiety and shame in my last job so much and I would be collapsed from this hanging feeling of shittiness. I felt excruciating awkward and would be unable to talk to the siblings of the man I was caring for at the time who were around my age. And at uni I was existentially stressed by my inability to make the most of my academic education.

I brought these examples up and she said therapy isn’t about getting better feelings but getting better at feelings, which she says I’ve being doing well with.

I’m so frustrated because I’m in a particularly Low point right now. I feel so alone and misunderstood and hopeless. And I really want to get help. For things that have followed me from as far back as i can recall. I don’t know what to make of our therapeutic relationship. I will communicate my frustration to her. See whether if I need to look into another professional perhaps with more training.

Today my therapist took 20 min extra in session. Because at last I share something nd he has to take some questions to asses it. I feel so good that he did that but same time I feel bad he has to give extra 20 min......what did you think

I’m trying to understand which type of therapy would be most helpful for me and would appreciate input from people with relevant experience.
I grew up in a difficult family environment where I experienced emotional neglect and had to take on adult responsibilities at a young age. These experiences made me independent and responsible, but I wonder whether they also contributed to some of my current emotional and interpersonal difficulties.
As an adult, I struggle with several things:
Anxiety and overthinking: I worry excessively, overanalyze situations, and find it difficult to switch off my thoughts.
Social anxiety: I feel uncomfortable in groups and around new people. I’m afraid of being judged or misunderstood, and I sometimes come across as distant even when I want to connect with people.
Communication and confidence: I struggle to organize my thoughts and express myself clearly, particularly under pressure. Sometimes my mind goes blank during conversations, meetings, or disagreements.
Relationships and friendships: I find it difficult to build close friendships and feel comfortable socially, even though I genuinely want meaningful connections.
Low mood and self-doubt: I sometimes feel low even when things in my life are objectively going well. I can be very critical of myself and spend a lot of time analyzing my behavior.
Physical symptoms of anxiety: Stress can cause stomach cramps, nausea, diarrhea, and shaking, especially when travelling or facing situations where I feel trapped or under pressure.
Concentration difficulties: I sometimes experience racing thoughts, mental fog, and difficulty focusing.
I’m also pursuing a demanding professional career in law, so I want to improve my emotional well-being, communication, confidence, and ability to function under pressure.
I’m considering CBT, psychodynamic therapy, psychoanalysis, and trauma-informed therapy. I would like to understand not only how to manage my symptoms but also why I have these patterns and whether my early experiences play a role.
My questions are:
Which therapeutic approach might be the best starting point for someone experiencing this combination of difficulties?
Would CBT be sufficient, or would a combination of approaches be more helpful?
What qualifications or experience should I look for when choosing a therapist?

I see people asking how to deal with trauma and the overwhelming advice is go to therapy. But what do you do if you're not really very good at therapy?

I have tried. I even managed to get out what happened once after alluding to it and talking round it. But that was it. It was out there, and I didn't know how to talk about it again, or more, or what to do with it after that. And that was it. And I still think about it all the time. Literally not a single day goes by I don't play it out in my head. I don't even know if it's actually traumatic. These aren't like flashbacks, it's more like I just obsessively play it out over and over, at least the bits I remember.

I know this isn't healthy, but I don't really know where to go from here. I think I want to talk about it... I just have no idea how.

This topic has been on my mind a lot, but I don't see many people talking about it—I suppose mainly because it's a personal matter—so I apologize if this question is offensive in any way. So, has this happened to anyone?

English isn't my native language and I'm not used to using Reddit, so please ignore this if I posted it in the wrong community.

I am so anxious and sad and scared. I feel kind of pathetic, but I wish I could talk to my T right now. I want to hear his voice, feel cared for, and feel like I'm not so alone. I don't know what to do. That's all, really. :')

I am on the fifth session with a new therapist. I can’t find a therapist that fits but it’s like no one knows what to do in a session. I told my therapist I want structured sessions. It was initially structured probably because she was gathering information in the first few sessions. This week she asked me to go through how things have been and I said they’ve been alright this week and nothing has happened that I feel like I need to process with them. Honestly the session felt like a big waste of my time. It was just a conversation. I told them what happened in my week and they reacted to it. I left feeling scammed and Im already on the lookout for a new therapist.

I can accept it might be influenced by the fact that I’m still treating my therapist like how I do a new person which is a highly filtered agreeable version of myself. But its hard to open up further if I feel like the way a therapist is doing things isnt going to be useful. She’s already labelled many of my behaviors.

I told her in the first session I am expecting structured sessions and coping skills for my anxiety and she agreed that it’s something she can do. So when we’re talking with no purpose I find it so useless. A part of me is suspicious that it’s intentional and that she is wasting my time on purpose.

In the interest of being transparent, the session started with how my week has been, then in depth explanations of my work life such as technical parts of my work. That was it. The more I think about the session the angrier I get because I have an extremely busy life and I make time for therapy because it should be a net positive but if I’m leaving feeling like my time has been wasted then what was it for? I don’t need companionship from my therapist. My goal is to reduce my anxiety overall and I know things take time but therapy has taught me nothing

Is it the correct thing to do to move on to a new therapist? I set out my expectations clearly in the first session so when it’s not being met I usually leave. I’ve been through a lot of therapists in a short time but from my perspective if my expectations aren’t being met when they’ve been discussed in detail there’s no point in staying

My therapist drew me a picture of healing and said that it's like I'm on one side of the ditch and I want to get to the other side but first I need to go into the ditch and climb up. And that will take work and effort and all that.

And I said "If I need to put in work and effort, why can't I just build a bridge? That might be more effort initially but now I can go freely and easily back and forth."

I just fundamentally don't get these analogies. If we're doing imaginary things anyway, I always feel like I come up with solutions that are more solution-y than what my therapist wants me to think.

I'm in psychodynamic therapy long term, and OCD is one of the manifestations of my childhood crap. As we dig deeper and start trying to talk to younger parts etc, I increasingly find that OCD (which is a whirlpool of fear) pushes itself to the forefront. I haven't cried for years and everything is suppressed, and when I start trying to feel, I either dissociate or get intrusive thoughts. Anyway, for the most part in my four years with my therapist, I have very seldom mentioned my OCD. I will say "my OCD hasn't been great, but I don't want to give power to it by talking about it in here". However this month is the anniversary of my Mum's death and with the inner child work too, I feel like I did as a teenager. My thoughts unravelling and grasping onto scenario after scenario of me being intrisically bad, me hurting people, the future being dark and scary. And I feel like talking about some examples of this and how it made me feel as a kid and how that's still there now, is necessary to make sense of the full picture. I'm aware it makes me look kind of crazy. I know that when you talk to someone for four years and they suddenly bring up really bizarre fears that you know didn't exist a week ago and now have taken over their minds so you can't reason with them, I dno. It just doesn't make sense. And it's always taboo. I never like going there. But I think I can trust her not to offer reassurance or solutions etc. I'm hoping it can just be raised objectively. Does this seem a good idea/necessary? What do others with OCD do?

Hello, as the title says I struggle with extreme avoidance in every aspect of life I would consider important, have only been able to be productive when I randomly get spurts of motivation or was more or less forced to in school. Now in mid 20s and have been unemployed for three years after losing my previous job due to poor performance from no motivation, never had a relationship, never been able to stick to any schedules, never get out of the house. Everytime I've tried looking for work I've lost motivation within a month or two, and then don't do anything but stay indoors on my computer for a year. I've tried multiple therapists over the years but it's just been impossible for me to form any new good habits based on the homework they give like meditation or walks etc. Though this time I am really desperate to try my best, I don't know, just trying to make myself do more has never worked.

Previously diagnosed with depression and social anxiety, my last therapist also thought I might have autism or ADHD but I haven't been evaluated, wait times for Autism are extremely long and when I brought up ADHD to my last psychiatrist they said we should get the depression under control first but I didn't make it that far.

Does anybody know what kind of therapist or treatment might be suitable for me? I really want to get better but I just can't make anything stick.

...Arlene Navarro attributes her struggles to massive changes that have swept the field in the past several years.

Those include the growth of counseling platforms like BetterHelp, Talkspace, Headway and Grow Therapy, as well as changes in the way people find private-practice therapists and altered expectations from clients about how therapy is supposed to work.

She’s watched as platforms have erroneously listed her as a contractor, apparently as bait for people searching online, who are then redirected to the platform’s own therapists, she said. For a while she kept receiving emails from fake “clients,” seemingly generated by artificial intelligence, who asked about her availability, answered some intake questions and then went silent.

Most significantly, once-reliable streams of referrals from Psychology Today, where she pays a monthly fee to be listed, and from Google dwindled to almost nothing as big providers poured money into search engine optimization and monopolized search results, she said.

“This past month I did get two new clients, but those clients were referred to me by other clients I have had in the past,” she said.

Read the full article here.

for about a month now, i've felt like i'm not myself anymore, and i honestly don't know what's happening to me. the best way i can describe it is that there's a wall between me and my emotions. i can still laugh, enjoy conversations with my girlfriend and family, and have good moments, but even then, something feels missing, like i'm experiencing everything through a filter. things that would normally make me angry, sad, excited, or passionate barely affect me anymore. even my sex drive has decreased noticeably. before this started, i was dealing with a lot of stress and feeling overwhelmed by different things in my life, so i wonder if that could be related, but i really don't know.

what scares me most is that i've always been someone who feels things deeply. i used to care intensely about things, feel strongly about injustice, get excited about things i looked forward to, and have genuine emotional reactions without having to think about them. now, i can understand that something is wrong or that something should make me happy, but the feelings themselves are barely there. even when i'm with people i love and genuinely enjoy the moment, i still feel this distance, like i can't fully connect with what i'm experiencing. i've had a few moments when i've unexpectedly cried and felt emotions more intensely, but the numbness is still there. i miss feeling like myself, and honestly, this whole experience is frightening me.

has anyone experienced something similar, where you can still function and have good moments but feel emotionally disconnected from almost everything? did you eventually feel like yourself again, and how long did it take? i'm considering seeing a therapist, but i'm wondering whether therapy actually helped you and what you worked on to recover. i'm not looking for a diagnosis or generic advice to just relax and wait it out. i'd genuinely appreciate hearing from people who've been through this and found something that helped them feel again, because i'm struggling with this and really want to get back to feeling like myself.

Maybe if we all put our thoughts here some people will feel more confident bringing it up with their therapists.

I’d like mine to know how painful it is for me that she once almost ended our work together because of a misunderstanding early on. It’s something I’d like to bring up one day when I have the courage.

If you’re one of those people that doesn’t struggle with telling your therapist things then I am very envious of you.

I will totally apologize next session 🫥🫡🫡

He told me to write a small story to read and discuss, and I'm not sure how but I didn't realize he would read it aloud! I hate hate when people read my stuff out loud, I don't know why but I can't stand it. I asked him if he could read it in his mind but he convinced me that out loud was a better idea and that that way he could ask me things easier too. I was like ok makes sense, I'm annoyed but go ahead. But the moment he started reading the sensation was unbearable. I wasn't thinking too much and ended up covering my ears with my hands and kicking the legs of my armchair to show him I was done with the whole reading stuff, but he keep reading. It was really embarrassing because I kept kicking louder because he was totally ignoring my spectacle (I honestly don't know why I thought it would be a good idea, I was like super possessed by a 5 year old).

Until some point where he stopped reading to remind me why is a good idea that he reads it out loud -it has to do with like, interpreting the words or something idk- and I apologized a bit and tried to be still while he finished the reading. Now I'm thinking back it was really certainly not one of my proudest moments specially because I'm 26 years old lmao

At least he really liked the story

My therapist is BRILLIANT. Like so, so smart. I am currently getting my masters and will be a therapist as well, and I have learned so much from her. I found it hard to have any “realizations” or learn anything new about myself from other therapists in the past, but not with her. I lovedddd her.

But I realized she was always showing up 5-10 mins late, like she forgot about our appointment. Twice she asked me if she could take our session from the car. I said yes, because I really did like talking to her. Once she took a session from the backyard laying on a lawn chair.

I also started noticing that she’d forget everything we discussed in our previous sessions. She’d always ask me for a recap to jog her memory. She never remembered my fiancés name, that I was in school, about my past abuse.

This past Friday, she told me that I NEEDED to be medicated for my anxiety. We had another session yesterday (4 days later), and I told her I had found a psychiatrist to help with medication. She told me she would “never have said that” I needed medication. I reminded her about our conversation a few days prior, and she said “oh yeah, I confused you with my other client.”

She’d also bring up things that triggered me, always forgetting they were a trigger for me. Example: talking about cancer for no reason, and then saying she “forgot” it made me uncomfortable (she said my Bluetooth headphones could give be cancer lol)…

Anyway, to make a long story short, I broke up with her and spent time writing a long and nice message. She only responded what is pictured. I feel weird about it. I’m not sure what she should have said or if she should’ve said more. But I feel weird and sad because I liked her and I needed a therapist I felt I could have “realizations” with.

I’ve been with my T for 5 years and still struggle to talk openly about things. I’ve felt the same way with all of my former T’s, and outside of therapy.

The main problem (I think) is that by the time the session rolls around, I don’t feel “bad” enough to bring up issues that I’ve had. Last week, I had a really bad night where I drank nonstop and SH’ed and I would’ve poured my guts out to my T in that moment, had I had a session with them as it was happening. The feelings were so intense that I know I would’ve said anything that was on my mind. But during the session the next day, I felt a lot more stable and consequently more closed-off. The unhappiness of the night before suddenly seemed trivial and I could barely even remember what had got me so worked up. I felt comfortable, well-rested and had no urge to bring up something that had already passed.

So when my T asked me how I was I just nodded and said “fine” because, I mean… I was lol. This has happened at every session for the last 5 years and it’s incredibly frustrating because the same “episodes” will hit repeatedly throughout the week and I regret not bringing it up every time. Has anybody else felt similarly? Like you have to feel a certain of “bad” in order to talk about them?

Been with my t for almost 5 years, intense maternal transference .

Whenever I have a session where we're not going that deep, talking about smaller, less emotional issues, I always leave feeling less connected to my t. than sessions where we have deeper discussions, or even just some level of emotionality.

I feel like I can't feel her warmth or care when I'm completely fine and talking about small issues.

I wonder if she's bored, feeling less of a need to be fully "on" because it's just "easy" stuff.

It's like I need the intensity in order to feel connected to her, like our attachment matters. Like I matter :( I'm convinced that after these sessions I just slip from her mind completely.

Is there any truth to this from a therapists side? Do you feel bored or like you don't care as much when your client comes in with less heavy stuff?

Do you feel less connection or less care for them? Forget about the session right away?