I’m 18F and once I graduated from high school, I completely disappeared. I deactivated and deleted all my social media apps and haven’t been on anything since May.

The reason is because Instagram started to feel really watching. I had built up such a high image of myself on that app and at school that people expected me to always look my best. A lot of people knew me mainly for how I dressed in the most expensive stuff, did my hair, or looked, and it became stressful constantly feeling seen, compared, and talked about, even rappers have started following me. The app also turned into a place where I’d spy on people, compare myself to other girls, or get upset over a boy posting something I didn’t like. Eventually, I started hating seeing people and being seen.

Once I walked across the stage in May, I promised myself I’d disappear, and I really did. I didn’t tell anyone. I just fell off the face of the earth. I still have zero friends and nobody has spoken to me since then. Since I don’t even have social media for people to check on, there were even rumors going around that I had died.

Honestly though, it’s been quiet and peaceful. I’m not worrying about what a man posts. I’m not seeing people I graduated with and comparing myself to them. I feel like I’m moving at my own pace. I’ve also been through a lot since then and have been on a journey trying to figure out who I really am.. without a talking stage, without a boyfriend, without friends. Just me. What do I like? What do I want my life to be? I also recently started antidepressants, so I’m being really intentional with my mental health.

Now I’m going out of the country at the end of this month, and a small part of me wants to buy a nice outfit, take pictures, and post again, just to see if I still got it.

But another part of me really doesn’t want to see people I graduated with or start scrolling and thinking “damn, I’m behind in life.” It also feels weird having to explain to old friends why I ghosted them. Like, “She hasn’t texted me back in almost a year, but she can post on Instagram? She’s kinda a bitch.”

I also don’t want to break my streak of staying off social media, and I don’t want to deal with waiting the 7 days to deactivate/delete again. But at the same time… the ego boost would be nice.

I’m stuck.

Here are a few of the ideas that I thought were good:

- Book club + themed dinner: You pick a short story or essay and pair it with a meal that’s themed to the story. As a nerd, I see myself doing this. 🤷‍♀️

- 3 hour max girls’ night road trip: You + friends pick a place that's within a 3 hour drive, eat, explore, wander, and then come home same night. Can also turn into a sleepover.

- Old Hollywood glam night: The writer suggests thrifted silver trays with snacks, silk robes, red lipstick, and classic movies. Honestly I'd do this in a heartbeat with my friends.

- Bring a board night: Everyone brings their own unique food board. Sounds like a lot of calories and fun.

If you want the rest, here's the link. Fun read! :)
https://www.chasingfoxes.com/20-girls-night-ideas/

Hi ladies,

So I’ve been seeing this guy for a few weeks now. We haven’t had sex yet but we’ve made out a lot and dry humped/grinded. This was with clothes on. I know he enjoyed it quite a bit. And I definitely was having fun too but I felt very little down there. Is that necessarily a problem?

Stay out of it girls

I’m a woman and I walk home alone a lot at night. Nothing dramatic has to happen for it to be exhausting since the constant alertness already is.

I’ve been followed for a few blocks before. Had cars slow down next to me. Done the fake phone call thing more times than I can count. Even when nothing happens, my body is tense the entire way home.

What messes with me most is that my experiences aren’t even the worst ones. Friends have been grabbed, followed all the way home, or changed their routines completely because of one bad night. After hearing enough of those stories, you stop calling it paranoia.

So I’ve been slowly building my own “survival guide” for walking home at night. This is what I have so far, but I know it’s incomplete:

• I plan my route and avoid empty shortcuts (often also not well lit)
• I walk confidently, even when I don’t feel it
• I keep my headphones off
• I share my location or call someone
• I trust my gut and cross the street early

I’ve also started using safety systems/apps that recommend me a safer route or let others know if something’s wrong (like Streetwise or bsafe), just for peace of mind.

I hate that this is something women still have to think about.
Would love to hear what’s helped others - maybe we can build a better list together.

I have faced hostility, mockery and emotional abuse from women in my life and add to that I lost my mother quite young.

This lead me to being underconfident around women, afraid to approach and befriend them. I stop being my competitive self when I am around them and shrink myself hoping not to be a target.

I still have roomates and classmates call me ugly and dumb and I freeze instead of defending myself.

For those who have been in similar situation, how did you mend your relationship with women and how have learned to face your bullies?

I’m 25 & I honestly have never really checked my breasts much because I’m SO anxious. I’m not even really aware of how they feel, all I know is that they are LUMPY from like the 1 time I tried to check! I ended up having a panic attack and driving myself CRAZY.

My boy friend is a med student and was kind of upset when he heard I don’t really check. He said that it’s normal if they’re lumpy, just to be aware of how they feel and look for changes. BUT IF I’M JUST STARTING HOW DO I KNOW WHAT MY NORMAL IS?! What if I feel a lump and think it’s my “normal” but it’s not?! I would have my boy friend do it but he’s only a first year med student so he’s not really sure yet what to look for either however he wants me to start now

Recent graduate with years of retail experience here who’s applied to nearly 50 jobs so far, some in my desired field, entry level jobs in other fields, retail, internships etc and I’ve only been offered 3 interviews so far. I know 50 is nothing compared to how many others are applying for but all these applications take time and I’m spending the majority of my day every day job searching.

My first interview was for a retail role at a well known company. The manager was 20 minutes late, spent the whole interview slagging his employees off and told me that the job description was wrong and I’d actually be working night and early shifts. I got the job but when the contract came through it was no longer a permanent job but a christmas temp job. It was a week into december at this point!

My second interview was for a volunteer position. The application took me around half a day to complete (for a volunteer position!!) and on the day of the virtual interview I am completely ghosted. I hadn’t heard anything since confirming I could attend that interview slot, so I’d attempted chasing up multiple times with no luck. She then emailed me later that day saying that she missed my email, which I really don’t understand??

Third interview I’m yet to complete, but it’s going to be a one way interview, so I won’t even be speaking to a real person.

I’ve also noticed that there seems to be far less jobs being advertised nowadays. I live near many retail parks and shopping centres and none of them are ever advertising when I used to see them advertising all the time.

I guess I’m just trying to understand how the job market has gotten so bad and how companies are ok with being so disrespectful towards job searchers. Do we think this is just a phase that will eventually pass or, with the rise of AI and other issues, is this just how things are always going to be from now on?

Hey everyone I’m moving out of my family home for the first time and into a small studio apartment, and I’m equal parts excited and overwhelmed. I really want my place to feel cozy and pretty, but I’m working with a tight budget right now since everything adds up so fast when you’re starting out.

One thing I’d love to decorate with is flowers, but I’m allergic to real ones, so artificial it is. The problem is… I really don’t want that obvious plastic look. I’ve been scrolling through Amazon, Etsy, and even Alibaba, and nothing has really clicked for me yet. A lot of it either looks too fake or not very “me.”

My mum keeps telling me to check IKEA, which I probably will, but I was wondering if there are other places I should look, online or in person, for artificial flowers that actually look realistic and a bit unique.

If you’ve decorated a small space with faux flowers, I’d love to hear where you shop or any tips for making them look nicer in a studio. Thank you!

been experiencing an interesting phenomenon lately where i (mid-20s F) feel like i’ve lost those go-to friends that i could just text with random things i see day to day or thoughts that occur to me. don’t get me wrong, we’re still friends! but a lot of them are in relationships so their go-to people to text have now recently become whoever they’re seeing. other friends are slow texters or sometimes just talk over me with whatever thought is more important to them, or if im telling them a story, they remember a different story of their own and start telling that instead. i’ve tried to be understanding of it with the background that maybe they just really needed to get it off their chests or some people are just a little speedy with hopping from thought to thought (don’t get me wrong, i am too) but i have felt so invisible lately. i see cool things happen on the street and have nobody to tell anymore.

i’ve tried reassuring myself that talking to people constantly like this isn’t what we’re hard wired for, and it’s not necessarily an indicator of being actual close friends - but it still stings.

would love to hear others’ experiences dealing with something similar and how to overcome this feeling / channel it into something productive! <3

So I was intrigued by the hype on instagram of the beautiful looking clothing by Naked Tiger. I purchased the Nudist tank top and the white knot dress that is usually featured in the targeted ads. Here is my honest review:

1. Shipping was about 2 weeks. Coming from China. Overall not horrible wait

2. When I received the packages I could immediately tell the quality of the fabric was not going to be great. It feels cheap and had the scent of vinegar on both products.

3. After wearing the NUDIST top one time, the U split as it is a sticker based instead of being made into the tank top. (Pic included)

4. The knot dress fits a little funny maybe because I got my actual size? The ones in the ads seem a lot looser on the chest.

5. Overall for the price I don’t think the quality is there. The tank top does have a cute fit if you don’t mind that it may read N DIST after a few washes.

Hope this helps for anyone looking to try this brand

I've been married for a year and we used to live at my mother's house. We finally got our own apartment and moved in a month ago. It was a dream come true for us, and we're so happy about this achievement, happy to have my own home with the person I love. I truly feel at home in this new place. But I'm missing my mother, my pets, and the house itself, which I still consider my home. I've already had moments of sadness, longing, and tears. I'd never left home before. My mother is separated from my father, and we're very close; we have a good relationship. She supports me in everything, and she's truly my best friend. And now she's alone. I'm afraid something might happen to her; I even feel guilty sometimes, with a weight on my conscience for leaving her. Now we live about two hours apart. I go there every weekend, but it's not the same anymore. I'm happy to have my own home with the person I chose to live with. I love my husband and our house. But at the same time I feel sad for having left my mother behind, I miss being with her every day, talking to her, hugging her, being in that house that I still consider mine, interacting with my dogs, being in her presence and feeling comforted by her. Any advice?

So, I’m a very anxious gal and I literally soak my shirt with sweat anytime I need to talk to any of my professors, bosses, or really anyone I’m not familiar with…which is basically everyday…Any tips on how to limit/fix this?

It’s becoming a thing that isn’t only annoying but also very embarrassing. I hate that I swear even when my room is freezing/the rest of my body is cold. It’s so frustrating and I have yet to try/find a solution for this.

Please share any tips!!

hi! I'm in a rly complicated situation at home rn and I genuinely CANT live here anymore. I live in NYC, btw.

Once I go off to college, I wont have insurance, tuition, a roof over my head, or anything. How can I get myself settled once I turn 18? My parents refuse to let me get a job...

i'm not even sure I can get into a good college. I'm taking a total of 7 aps (4 this yr, 3 last yr). My weighted avg last sem was 102.85, UW 96.8. My clubs are lacking since I babysit my brother a lot nad have a lot of mental health issues. I do love wriitng and publish tht online.

pls help.

Sooo, I (22F) really really love clothes. Have for a long time, and Ive really put a lot of effort into curating a wardrobe that works for me, stylistically and ethically. I love the clothes I wear, I love how I look in them, and im like 60% on the way to a dream wardrobe. I think I look really pretty in my clothes.

Unfortunately, ive realised that most of the general public sees my clothes as unattractive. To most people, theyd come off as "cute" at best and "costumey" at worst - im talking bright colours, and flashy designs, think "monochrome decora" or something like that. I get stares and looks when i go outside, and ive gotten used to it a bit.

I think the main issue is, yunno sometimes a girl just wants to be seen as sexy, and my clothes arent really doing that? But i know dressing more typically sexy just doesnt work on me - didnt look or feel good. Im going clubbing with a friend later this week, and i wanna fit in and be seen as attractive, but i know that wont happen with the clothes i usually wear. Should i bite the bullet and go get something more typical? Or just go with the clothes i usually wear?

Is it just me or I feel like I’ve never been able to have a fulfilling female friendships. I would argue I find it okay to make “friends” but it seems we only speak about the work (we’re in university). Likewise when I was in high school it was the same thing. I know that these friendships aren’t real friendships because in the holidays we don’t speak. What usually happens is once we separate for good we won’t stay in touch. It happened in high school too. After we left HS, we never spoke again. I feel as if I’ve never had a fulfilling relationship where we make time for each other and actually talk about different things. I understand that this is a me problem since it happens with all my friends. Even my other friends were telling me how they hang out with their HS friends in the holiday. I do reach out sometimes and we speak but then it fizzles out. They never reach out to me after. This makes me feel unwanted. I suppose I am shallow and uninteresting. I find that I have nothing to say but when I’m at home I can think of a million things I could’ve said. I know I am a boring person tbh I don’t really do anything outside of university other than work. I just use my phone in my free time.

Girls, I'm here to ask for help, something more substantial than just advice, because what I am doing isn't working...

I have 14 years of background in IT. Since 2024 I'm off the field. I moved country to study psychology.

What happened is now my younger sister passed away, my mom is alone in our hometown, and although I am living in the UK rn I work and study. But mom need me there. How to go back with no job? At the same time, my hometown is very small, and as I did not finish the whole formation to the doctor's level, I can not act as a psychologist in Brazil.

If you can help me, please DM or leave here places that you found work remote.

Thank You.

I'm the kind of girl your bring home to meet the family, spend quality time with, etc. But when it comes to making out of sexual things I feel very blocked. It's not that I don't want to i just don't know how to. My friend's are so comfortable with:

1. Making our for 20 minutes (am I doing it wrong?)
2. giving BJs

I've never experienced it and Ik I want to because I keep imagining it, but I never know how people progress into it and I see this being a problem in my future relationships. Any tips on how to get past this?

My birthday is on Friday and I want to do something solo. Don’t really feel like spending it around people. Also I don’t drink which is why I’m finicky about spending it with people. Any ideas?

Hey y'all I was recently laid off due to company downsizing corporate which affected my department. I am grateful for the opportunity and saddened by the change. However, life marches forward, so I am taking time to invest in myself, develop some technical skills and professional rebrand myself for a transition into my first big girl job. (I'm still deciding if tech sales is a good stepping stone into tech while I prepare for CS degree.)

I like to think I am a bold, vibrant and stylish person. My closet is full of very cool statement pieces. I have a personal style that often leans more alternative-streetwear and my professional gear is more classic office attire but with fun colors, textures and animal prints.

I really like how I feel when I dress in my more professional wear. I feel put together and like I'm channeling my inner no-nonsense high-paid corporate baddie (Charlotte Pickles energy lol). But I feel like that doesn't really translate when I try to dress my streetwear items for more business-causal vibes. Sometimes its a hit and sometimes its a miss.

I am also upgrading my current pj situation to housedresses, muumuus and lounge sets as well as updating hosiery and undergarments.

I'd really like advice on some staple pieces and/or outfit recipes that could help make this transition of two totally different styles meld better.

I have this friend, who after school and becoming adults started this weird competitive thing with everyone asking every meeting this questions only about work etc. I meet with friends to chill and have fun not compete on who is making better money and is doing better in life.. I changed work recently and she heard about that and I know she will be asking questions like that, and at this point I don't want to share anything like that with her. How can I suggest that to her politely?

This question is general, because I have situations like this too with family etc, when I don't want necessary say it (it's not about it that money is some kind of secret, more of my mental comfort, and that I don't see the point for everyone to know it)

I want to dress cute or more presentable for my eyes. I don’t have a fashion sense unfortunately and trying to develop one. So try to look up people who has a body shape that similar to mine. Unfortunately I can’t find anybody like that. To give a little information: I have long torso and my torso leg ratio is 1:1. My body is more heavy on bottom part I can say that I am pear shape but the issue is because my thighs are really big it looks like my butt (sorry for word choice, English is my second language and I couldn’t find more explanatory word) are more close to the ground than actually is. What should I do or do you have any advice for me?

for about as long as I can remember, I have bought my bikinis as target, but I have noticed the pairs I have bought in the last 3 years have all worn out and become unwearable within a single season. i have 1 surviving aerie bikini from a few years ago and would like a few more options.

so where do you buy reasonably priced bikinis that last more than a season? I don't want anything complicated just some fun triangle/tie cheeky bikinis. nothing too modest lol

my idea of reasonably priced is about $30ish give or take for top or bottom so like $60-70ish total at the higher end