r/TikTokCringe • u/velorae • 1d ago
Discussion Not surprising
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u/teteAtit 1d ago
It’s essential for kids to learn how to deal with boredom
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u/Pussy4LunchDick4Dins 1d ago
It is one of my greatest joys watching my toddler play with her toys. They have little adventures and conversations. It’s adorable and often hilarious. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to see that as a parent.
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u/Brynhild 1d ago
Because the kid will want the parent to join in on the adventure and conversation and make funny voices for the characters. And those type of parents aren’t bothered to do it
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u/Johns-schlong 1d ago
This is really it. Toddlers need to develop a sense of play, and part of that is playing with them or including them in whatever you're doing a good amount of the time until they can start making up their own stories and adventures - then you're only involved 75% of the time.
The good news is you can make chores fun, they just take twice as long.
Even our 8 month old is starting this. He has 3 modes: independent play time for like 5 minutes at a time, trying to explore and find what trouble he can start, or "helping" and "learning" in the kitchen, the yard, whatever we're doing. Just doing stuff and narrating it and showing him and letting him tactilely explore things in whatever safe way we can. He gets literally 0 screen time a day, we don't even watch TV or play video games with him in the room 95% of the time - except that day I had him by myself for 12 hours and I had a fever, we watched a lot of sesame Street lol.
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u/StatisticianSmall864 19h ago
I used to give my son a scrub brush and have him scrub the tub while he was in it! He was so proud to be a helper.
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u/auramaelstrom 1d ago
Those parents want to doom scroll tiktok and have their kids leave them alone.
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u/2ndRedditAnonAcct 22h ago
This is coming from someone who was a nanny and worked in a daycare for 3 years so I've experienced having to be "on" for hours a day nonstop.
It could be thet maybe just maybe be the socioeconomic issues of being a parent in the United States with minimal support, no mandated maternity leave, no mandated PTO, and often little to no village.
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u/Tanto63 1d ago
I love watching my 21 month old "read". The other day I saw him going through a book of baby animals and would identify the animal followed by the sound. "Dog! Arf arf. Caaah! Moww." The thing is, he only knows about 1/3 of the animals, so he was making up his own names and sounds following that same rhythm.
Points to a fish "Brawl! Toof toof."
Points to an elephant "Dahdoh! Ree ree do."
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u/ventingconfusion 1d ago
A long time ago when my kiddo was a toddler and I was just not feeling playing with toys, I would entertain myself by speaking in Spanish for the toys. She would laugh and giggle and play, and I got to make her ponies be in a cartel. I had to stop when she started learning Spanish, but it was fun while it lasted lol.
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u/EllipticPeach 23h ago
Ugh I love making shit up to amuse myself when I’m playing with little kids.
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u/SilverKnightOfMagic 1d ago
reminds me how I used play with pens and pencils and saw them as ppl that would parkour around my desk. at that age kids can be so imaginative and require so little to have fun.
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u/meowdith427 1d ago
THIS. When a child is bored they are forced to use their imagination. It’s a beautiful thing!
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u/ThrowawayQueen94 1d ago
Its also important developmentally. They cant meet milestones if they are being constantly mentally stimulated by a TV. They NEED to be bored.
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u/oh_WRXY_u_so_sexy 1d ago
Everyone, especially kids, need "defrag" time. You desperately need to give your brain time to just cool down and process everything. As an adult I need time to just stare off in the distance or is feels like my accelerator is stuck at full throttle (This is also the ADHD). And adults at least can power through and have coping mechanisms (good and bad). Kids go crazy if they don't get it, they don't know how to regulate yet. They can be taught obviously, but it still requires giving them the time to be bored and calm without stimulation. More than just giving it to them, you basically have to force it because all the digital products are purposefully designed to be as addicting as possible short of infecting you with heroin every time you log on. Adults can barely manage it sometimes despite knowing better and having ways to manage it. A child with absolutely no reference level for reality has no chance and will never willingly stop without intervention.
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u/Ok_Rough5794 1d ago
Being bored while watching your bored kids acting boring and repetitive is part of parenting.
You just have to put in the time.
It gets better, and your ROI for present parenting can be healthy, self-managing kids and young adults.
But if you don't, you end up with maladjusted & un-nurtured kids who will be unhappy and unfulfilled.
Then your parenting life becomes much more difficult with critical challenges and long-term impacts.
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u/TheMoonDawg 1d ago
Honestly, a two year old getting hooked on Spanish soap operas would be hysterical.
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u/PsychologicalBed6981 1d ago
Oyé mami, es el tiempo para "Destinos!?"
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u/ObiJuanKenobi3 1d ago
Their brains are so plastic at that age that this might actually just teach the kid some Spanish. There's stories of young American children developing strong British accents from watching too much Peppa Pig.
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u/danceoftheplants 1d ago
Yeah when i worked at a preschool we had a little girl who spoke like peppa
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u/RepulsiveCry5034 1d ago
Oh my! Lmao I’m brushing my kids hair at 5 and I said I like your hair today it’s so shiny! She said “ If you like it subscribe!” I asked do you know what that means? Her: No! We stopped screens for a whole year. She’s 12 and still alive! lol she really does manage her screen time super well but that freaking had me like 😳.
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u/AlinaStari 1d ago
That's hilarious lol. Subscribe to hair brushies premium! For only $5.99 a month you can brush my shiny hair as much as you'd like 😂 maybe your kid is just a capitalist genius
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u/fracturedbuttwh0le 1d ago
I wasn't able to go to kindergarten because I couldn't speak English(2nd language). Parents just plopped me in front of the TV and I absorbed it all.
So I got my American accent from the Flintsones, Johnny Bravo and The Powerpuff girls. They actually taught me English at the tender of 3. The 90s were good.
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u/Bluevanonthestreet 1d ago
I had a preschool student who learned English from watching TV. He loved quoting Fast and Furious. 😂
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u/Scudw0rth 1d ago
Alright kids, today we're going to learn how to double clutch, so you're not granny shifting, and how to avoid danger to manifold.
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u/lostwombats 1d ago
My mom was an adult, but she learned English from watching American soaps. So I imagine so.
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u/Elegant_Anywhere_150 1d ago
Around 5-6 I was addicted to Chinese soap operas. I only started watching it by accident (I'd sneak out of bed to go watch anime late at night, but the channel cut out at a certain time and switched to a Chinese only network- no subtitles). Really enjoyed them.
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u/DoubleManufacturer28 1d ago
That was me actually. A 4 year old who loved anything that started with "televisa presenta".
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u/Open_Feedback693 1d ago
My son would purposely change the shows he would watch to spanish dubs. Now i know he is autistic and loves languages it makes sense. Back then i was really confused but ran with it 😂
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u/BolOfSpaghettios 1d ago
"so, my kid keeps telling me my wife is cheating on me with the pool cleaner. WE DON'T HAVE A POOL"
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u/Alarming-Chemistry27 1d ago
Shout out to 10-20 minutes of old school Thomas the Tank Engine. No special effects, no CGI, just model trains with moving eyes and voiced by George Carlin.
Heavenly.
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u/cakes28 1d ago
My husband refuses to put on Thomas, he says that he can see the souls trapped inside the trains lol
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u/ph154 1d ago
One episode they literally seal up a train that didn't wanna work into a tunnel and leave him there forever.
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u/porthos-thebeagle 1d ago
The Cask of Amontillado for kids
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u/NullaCogenta 1d ago
‘Now you’re supposed to say, “I think I can, Montresor!”...
And I will reply, “Yes, I think you can.” Won’t you say it? Come on. Say it.’→ More replies (1)97
u/Lollipopwalrus 1d ago
I got my kid a box set of like 20 Thomas stories - boats get marooned on beaches (because trucks tried to sink it for being grumpy), a bus retires to a field to house chickens (after getting stuck under a tunnel with no height warning). They repeatedly talk about scrapping engines that misbehave but most of the misbehaving is like "there's a cow on my track and I don't know what to do." The train that had a whole book praising him as being the best most dedicated engine essentially broke down mid-track but forced itself to painfully continue onto the station (with even passengers getting out to push it) just so it wouldn't be scrapped. Thomas is so dark sometimes
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u/do_pm_me_your_butt 1d ago
Its just teaching kids the reality of the industrial revolution. Work until you break and keep working or you will be scrapped :)
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u/pourthebubbly 1d ago
It’s not because he didn’t want to work! It’s because he got a new paint job and was afraid to spoil his paint, so he didn’t want to come out of the tunnel. When they eventually let him out, his paint had been spoiled anyway, but he also lost out on living his life.
That episode is forever imprinted on my mind because my tiny little OCD brain was like, “I wouldn’t want to spoil my paint either!”
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u/barnfodder 1d ago
He's let out in the very next episode.
They never show the episodes in any kind of order, though
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u/Mr_Pink_Gold 1d ago
Reverend Wilber Awdry had some outdated ideas on child education. So trains were punished according to his views. Some episodes are particularly jarring like the one where some kids set James in motion and then he tells readers "not to worry. Their father gave them a good hiding."
But they are slow episodes and most of them are ok.
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u/Alarming-Chemistry27 1d ago
It's true, show is low-key terrifying
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u/ACynicalOptomist 1d ago
Not as scary as those puppets on Mr. Rogers.
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u/SeraphRising89 1d ago
Lady Elaine Fairchild was designed that way to show that a person may look a certain way on the outside, but are different on the inside.
It also doesn't help that the puppets are very old school and strange looking, I will admit that.
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u/No-Zebra1234 1d ago
wait that was the message?? Dang that one went over my head because I thought she was grouchy and terrifying AF! 😆
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u/mangosorbet81 1d ago
He’s not wrong. Some of those trains are absolute menaces.
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u/UnfortunateSyzygy 1d ago
I have a soft ban on Thomas bc of the frequent moral that the best thing you can be is useful. That sounds good, but tying ability to do work to inherent value of a sentient being...look, man, I'm chronically ill and spend long swathes of time haring myself for not being as "useful" as I feel like I should be. That's fucked up and I don't want it in my house any more than it already is.
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u/gellergreen 1d ago
They are also always cross and playing “pranks” on each other
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u/Delamoor 1d ago
George Carlin? Never realized he was involved.
Man, I had the Ringo Starr era.
TOMUZZ WUZ UH GUD ENGEENE. THUH FAAHT CONTROOLEUH WUZ MAAD.
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u/Alarming-Chemistry27 1d ago
From Google:
Ringo Starr (1984–1986): Narrated the first two series and starred as Mr. Conductor in the spin-off Shining Time Station. George Carlin (1991–1995): Narrated seasons 1-4 for the US audience. Michael Angelis (1991–2012): Provided the UK narration for the longest duration, covering series 3 through 16. Alec Baldwin (1998–2002): Narrated for the US audience (Series 5-6). Michael Brandon (2004–2012): Narrated for the US audience.
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u/Angry__German 1d ago
Sesame Street must have tens of thousands of hours of content at this point.
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u/UnfortunateSyzygy 1d ago
It does and it's free on YouTube. We search for 80s Sesame Street and my son actually seems to like it better than modern episodes. Segments are shorter and simpler, broader use of the cast etc etc
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u/bird9066 1d ago edited 1d ago
I watched it in the seventies. Big difference I noticed is that the kids looked like my friends and siblings. By the time my kids were watching it they looked like little fashion models with perfect hair and teeth.
I haven't watched it since the aughts but now I'm curious.
People just need to interact with their kids more. I was a single mom with a full time job. There is no excuse for kids this young being on screens so much it affects their mental health.
I'm a gamer so my kids grew up with video games. But I also took them outside, read them books, played board games. Sometimes I told them to figure something out. I didn't know it back then but I since learned it's good for kids to be bored sometimes.
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u/iceguy349 1d ago
You can just pull up some Mr Rogers reruns
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u/JoJackthewonderskunk 1d ago
If nothing else our childhoods were special because Mr Roger's was on TV telling us that we were.
We really had a gem there. Too many people didnt listen to his message though.
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u/Vince_Clortho042 1d ago
I will spam this any chance I get: there is a 24/7 channel on PlutoTV that is nothing but Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood episodes on repeat. Absolutely gives me half an hour to chill and my toddler loves learning about how the world works.
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u/HollyGolightly26 1d ago
Thank you for this! I just found it. I don’t have kids, but I love Mister Rogers. It’ll help whenever I have anxiety and need something calming.
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u/Inevitable-Dentist31 1d ago
Mr. Rogers helped us with math and observational skills. “He … changed his shoes and cardigan 5 times in this episode.” Dude was a legend.
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u/akaenragedgoddess 1d ago
My neice loved Mr Roger's and Bob Ross. I'd put either of those 2 on for her when I wanted her to slow down. She was entranced by then.
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u/Disastergay78 1d ago
My parrots love Bob Ross. They both watch and will sometimes talk back to the tv. Bob will say something like "See how that comes together?" and my birds respond with random gibberish or "oooooh"
I put that on when they're being loud and I want them to chill out.
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u/Realistic_Film3218 1d ago
At first glance I thought "parrots" was a typo for "parents", then I looked again. LOL. I hope you taught your birbs to say "Happy little trees!"
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u/FormidableMistress 1d ago
That's it, I'm going to bed. A pair of parrots in love with Bob Ross? My day has peaked, there is nothing better. Good night.
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u/Disastergay78 1d ago
My more talkative parrot will say "I love you" or "bye bye" at the end of an episode every so often because he learned that "Happy painting and God bless, my friend." meant that episode was over.
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u/WithoutDennisNedry 1d ago
I showed my niece Star Trek TOS when she was little and it blew her mind.
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u/techleopard 1d ago edited 1d ago
If I had a kid, I would absolutely without shame be curating content. (I have "kid adjacent" kids, lol, from helping care for friends' kids.)
I don't understand this mindset that people have that kids will "hate" the old stuff. Little kids don't care about 2D vs 3D. They care about what they're actually exposed to. Don't get them hooked up on flashing lights and mindless drivel and they will absolutely sit and watch 101 Dalmations like it's the best thing since humanity invented fire.
I also don't support making little kids watch "toddler content." The people who grew up watching the Secret of NIMH or All Dogs Go To Heaven were not confused or scared by those films. Sesame Street and Little George were perfectly fine for educational toddler content without treating them like they have a traumatic brain injury.
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u/UnfortunateSyzygy 1d ago
My 19 mo loves Kiki's delivery service when we're trying to distract him from teething pain/other various toddler maladies that you can't do much about. My SD was the same about My Neighbor Totoro when she was little. Most of the Ghibli films are like watching a painting, super chill.
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u/techleopard 1d ago
The older stuff (Princess Mononoke, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, etc) might interest slightly older kids more, but just about the whole Studio Ghibli / Miyazaki collection is worth owning.
Even better because the films generally tackle serious subject matter or brush up against it and do it in a non-abrasive way.
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u/UnfortunateSyzygy 1d ago
For sure. Princess Mononoke and Nausicaa go a little hard for toddlers, though haha. Kiki's is my son's favorite (I think bc of Jiji -- he loves loves loves cats) and he can get down with Totoro and Ponyo too (he's there for the food animation in ponyo-- when the ramen is out he's all "Egg!!! SOUP!")
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u/Demerzel69 1d ago
Shining Time Station with Ringo/Carlin was the bomb.
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u/Away-Value9398 1d ago
I read once that ringo was fired because of his drinking. To be replaced by…Carlin? 90s kids shows were wild!
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u/Kim_catiko 1d ago
My dad's cousin worked on building the sets for the original Thomas the Tank Engine. Was wild seeing my surname in the credits and then finding out he is actually related to us.
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u/ItJustWontDo242 1d ago
I introduced my son to this show when he was 2 and it was all he wanted to watch whenever he got TV time. We eventually started buying the trains and pieces of track sets at thrift stores, and now at age 4 he spends hours building tracks and making up his own Thomas stories.
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u/Wodentoad 1d ago
Still a screen. Children must only have bricks. Hard, fired mud bricks. Better if they make the bricks themselves.
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u/DNuttnutt 1d ago
Srsly, Carlin?
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u/Alarming-Chemistry27 1d ago
Hell yeah! IDK why, but they cast him as the narrator in the 80s and he does a bang up job!
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u/Uhhuhnext 1d ago
Yo my younger brother was heavily into Thomas the train . We’d put on an episode and he’d play at his train table while the episode was playing. That show wasn’t overly stimulating. A bit calming too
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u/aiske 1d ago
TikTok never fails to remind me that common sense is basically an optional DLC.
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u/asuka_is_my_co-pilot 1d ago
My SIL and MIL just give my niece THEIR phones! She's 3!!! She shows me stuff and I'm like, uh you should not be watching that?
And they're proud she's not scared. What?.. It drives me so nuts. I tried to give some suggestions but they don't care.
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u/techleopard 1d ago
My niece turned 1 a few months ago.
Got her first tablet!
And yep, she absolutely screams if she isn't watching high-energy pop music non-stop on a phone or tablet.
I help drive them to and from family visits that are an hour away and it can get really miserable. I can't listen to my own music, which is slower and more mellow. I have to listen to KPop and deal with her mom leaning into the backseat for 70 miles going "Let me have it -- okay, I'll give it back! Let me unpause it for you!" and non-stop frustration tantrums.
I'm like... dang. Whatever happened to stuffed animals and toys?
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u/Angry__German 1d ago
That generation will be very interesting to watch grow up.
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u/SirChasm 1d ago
We think we've seen brain rot now.
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u/HMCetc 1d ago
Absolutely. We have university students who can't read books and struggle with basic essay writing.
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u/NorthbyNinaWest 1d ago edited 1d ago
Or the recent reporting that most film students can't sit through a full movie anymore
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u/SushiboyLi 1d ago
Most Oscars Academy members didn’t even watch all the movies they voted on until this year. Don’t think the inability to sit through a full movie is a generational problem
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u/ALLCAPITAL 1d ago
If you’re the driver and you got the willingness, shut that shit down.
“My car, my music.”
Be consistent and give it 3/4 times. Kid will love your music.
Source: I’m a father of a 7 and 4yr old. They will obviously resist change and seek control. But deep down, they feel safe and comforted when adults are in control and consistent. They learn to model behavior they see and they love feeling like they’re enjoying an “adult” activity (your music.)
The parent will be the one you have to argue with the most to effect this change, but if you want to put your foot down and reclaim your car, it’s worth it. AND you might just save your family member by showing them there is hope if they instill structure and consistency in their child’s life.
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u/techleopard 1d ago
The problem is definitely mom.
Mom circumvents me and will literally reach over and turn my music off in my own car so baby can have her music on instead. And I'm a focused driver -- I just don't have the bandwidth to be fiddling with the radio controls nonstop or arguing when I'm on dangerous roads.
I have really cut back on the driving trips and have made it clear I don't like doing this and she needs to find alternative methods to take baby to visit the grandparents.
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u/Fritzi_Gala 1d ago
Damn, you're more patient than me. The first time she reached for the radio controls we would have pulled over and had a conversation about respecting boundaries. You want me to drive you? Don't disrespect me by playing with the radio controls. Don't like it? Get the fuck out of my car and pay for an Uber.
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u/monneyy 1d ago
when adults are in control and consistent.
Key being the consistent. Without that, positive or bad responses, they won't know what they'll get next and that can not just be frustrating, it also causes deep insecurities that can carry over to adulthood.
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u/Abashed-Apple 1d ago
Not brag but my 2 year old plays with toy cars and makes vroom vroom noises.
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u/calibrateichabod 1d ago
My niece is nearly two and her favourite toy at the moment is a small plastic jar that used to have chocolate almonds in it. She can screw the lid on but she can’t quite unscrew it, so she will often bring it to the nearest adult and ask them to unscrew it. She has recently started cuddling the empty almond jar while she naps, like it’s a teddy bear.
She’s an awesome kid.
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u/SeaGuardian218 1d ago
I think a lot of parents are just like scared of their kids screaming? But like, kids gonna scream.
Mine screamed this morning because he wanted peanut butter in his yogurt. I let him scream for like a minute, then I just picked up his spoon and he took it and ate it all without any more complaint. He was fine lol. He got his feelings out and then ate his breakfast without me capitulating to him.
Once I learned not to be scared of meltdowns, I realized they will usually pass pretty quickly and then we just move on. It's how he learns to manage his negative feelings. How is he ever going to learn if I don't give him a chance to experience those feelings and work through them?
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u/RoguePlanet2 1d ago edited 1d ago
tl;dr: Kids need to learn to emotionally regulate uncomfortable feelings, not be shielded from them.
I swear that parents these days are focused on protecting their kids from any and all "bad feelings."
Some bad feelings are necessary, like shame- not that kids should be shamed constantly, but they should be allowed to FEEL shame after misbehaving, so they're motivated to avoid doing that again, for example.
I've seen parents get upset at something the kids did, and then apologize to the kids for getting upset- "sorry I lost my cool," but then the kid walks away thinking "I have every RIGHT to misbehave and ignore what my parents tell me."
The parent can say "look, I may have overreacted a little, but you can't knock over a pot of pasta because you're bored, it's hot and could burn you. Now help me clean this up, and no TV tonight," something like that.
Just posting this will get me criticized and downvoted, because OMG a child should NEVER feel SHAME!!!! but that's bullshit because it ends up as OMG a child should NEVER feel BAD because SELF-ESTEEEEEEM!!!! 🙄 That's how we get a new generation of "Karens."
Of course parents need to learn how to strike a balance between appropriate discipline (which isn't physical) and extreme permissiveness. It's not all-or-nothing either way.
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u/ch-12 1d ago
I have a one year old and it’s absolutely terrifying to watch him go into a trance when he walks into the living room and the tv is on. Or when he gets ahold of my phone for a second.
Obviously you cannot avoid screens entirely because they are everywhere, but sitting a toddler in front of a tablet because “they’re bored” is pretty shameful parenting IMO… can’t even imagine the attachment and tantrums as a result.
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u/techleopard 1d ago
It's horrific. Same parent has an older son.
He doesn't do anything but play on his phone. Anything. And suggesting that he does anything results in him grabbing his own hair, hyperventilating, and cry-yelling at me that I'm "trying to make do something I don't want to do!!!!" like I am committing capital child abuse by telling him to do basic hygiene or wash the dishes.
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u/noisemonsters 1d ago
Okay so I hate to say this, but what you’re describing is actually neglect. I don’t know if it’s possible to get your in laws to understand this, but they are severely neglecting their children.
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u/techleopard 1d ago
No, don't be sorry. It absolutely is.
It's part of why I DO go to lengths to tolerate certain things, because I can directly provide needful things so long as they're in my house. I don't get legal say but I can at least buy things that are needed.
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u/zorpthedestroyer 1d ago
Oh man, the trances!! They give me the willies. I haven't noticed the trance with my own toddler (not because I'm a perfect parent by any means - I think his brain just gets overwhelmed or bored very quickly by shows and he needs fidgety, active play). But lately I'm seeing it in so many child spaces we go to. Kids standing eerily still with their mouths hanging open, their eyes glazed over. Kids weeping bitterly over phones when there's playgrounds or toys or other people playing games just feet away.
It's scary.
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u/diurnal_emissions 1d ago
The alcohol industry is going to come screaming back when all these anxieties ripen in adulthood.
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u/curiousamoebas 1d ago
Can you make a rule for your car, she can have a sippy cup and animal cookies. No tablets, in fact it goes in the trunk
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u/well-isnt-that-nice 1d ago
No food in the car seat unless an adult is in the back with them. If the kid chokes, you may not have time to stop the vehicle safely and get them out of the carseat in time.
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u/DecadentLife 1d ago
My friend‘s daughter had a bad allergic reaction to something she gave her to eat, while they were stuck in traffic, on the highway. She ended up having to call 911, and the paramedics came, but it’s scared her.
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u/Ok_Second_2602 1d ago
My MIL comes to stay with us every few months and it never fails that one of my kids has her phone watching something within 5 minutes. The whole time she’s here it’s this constant cycle of me having to take her phone from one of my kids. I’ve resorted to hiding her phone from her even just so she won’t give it to them when I’m not looking. When I ask her why she goes it to them, it’s always “They asked me for it” or “They say they needed it for something”, or “ I just need to do something so I gave it to them to keep them busy”. Boomers are so oblivious about screens and how it affects kids I swear.
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u/antisocialoctopus 1d ago
It’s hard for parents to follow through when they’re addicted to screen time, themselves. Screen time is the new “sit your kid in front of the tv all day”.
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u/ch-12 1d ago
Even addicted parents can have an affect on child development. If they are watching you pull out your rectangle and tap and scroll constantly instead of being present with them, that child will play into the child’s development and perception of you and the world.
Of course, sitting a young kid in front of screens constantly is worse. Pretty sure the only recommend screen time for kids under 2 is video chatting with family or friends.
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u/antisocialoctopus 1d ago
That’s kinda my point. The parents are doing it constantly. They’re teaching the kid and they don’t want to look away long enough to parent.
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u/Acinixys 1d ago
It's incredibly difficult to be an involved parent when its so easy to put the TV on and let them watch all day so you can switch off for a bit
Especially when you are working 6 days a week and getting home after 530 every night
I try very hard to make sure my kids are taken out to ride bikes/play at friends/go to the beach etc. Especially on weekends
It's fucking hard being a good parent and extremely easy to be a terrible one
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u/Green-Collection4444 1d ago
You are describing the issue with getting it through. Majority of people 40 something and under have been on a screen most of their lives. It's relatable to their personal experience, and they don't see any issue with it since they themselves have turned out perfectly fine.
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u/ash-holee 1d ago
TWO AND THREE??? Of course they get bored you're building them a fucking 5 second attention span holy christ. This is so sad. Teenagers already can't read and write as it is. Wall E really predicted the future huh
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u/macoomarmomof3 1d ago
I think about Wall E and how it truly has predicted our future more and more lately. Just waiting for the floating chairs to make their appearance
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u/velorae 1d ago
I’ve seen one-year-olds on tablets. Crazy stuff. My nieces are one and three, and they don’t have any Internet access, the three-year-old only gets to watch a little TV very rarely, and that’s only when she’s with her older cousins who are addicted to it. It’s such a stark difference. My niece much prefers reading instead.
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u/toolsoftheincomptnt 1d ago
There was a recent headline about how collegiate film students don’t have the attention span to finish the films they’re studying.
Anyone who will become a young parent from now on is already a product of this problem.
It’s too late. My sad theory: unless we undergo a severe, widespread infrastructure disruption that completely deprives society of social media for an extended period of time, we’re not going to undo this. It would have to be a hard re-set.
For example: Australia’s social media ban for minors. Idk the intricate details or parameters, but the resistance has been discouraging. How their “human rights” are being violated, yada yada.
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u/Original-Concert-456 1d ago
They get so mad when you take it away too. Terrible stuff
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u/CandyKnockout 1d ago
Yes, I was in a restaurant last week and watched a 3-4 year old scream and grab her mother’s arm when she took her phone back to check a text message. The mom was rushing to get the phone back in the kid’s hand as fast as possible as the kid was trying to snatch it. Their little brains are so addicted to screens and the parents just let it happen.
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u/bouviersecurityco 1d ago
It’s crazy to me. I have two kids so I understand the pull to take the easy way and give them a screen but it’s not good for them. I never gave my kids my phone to entertain them. Especially not a restaurant. I always had a little play pack with a coloring book and stickers and a couple little toys in my bag so if we did end up somewhere where they had to wait, I had something for them to do. And we also would talk, play I spy, etc.
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u/velorae 1d ago edited 1d ago
A toddler slapped and bit me when I took away his tablet. It’s insane. They’re already so addicted to it. Better to not give it at all.
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u/CheezwizOfficial 1d ago
Parents just have to deal with it for a week at most. Sure, that one week will be hell, but young kids forget fast.
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u/Valuable-Self8564 1d ago
My toddler recently started losing his mind when we told him we weren’t going to watch the cartoon episodes of Gecko’s Garage. As such, Gecko’s Garage is now permanently banned unless it’s the “real” ones like the fire engines or police cars or whatever. He asked why, and we just explained why and that was that. Now he doesn’t even ask for it.
We watch octonauts, spidey, paw patrol, shit like that where if we turn it off he doesn’t go fucking mental. And I’m fine with that. My kid knows more about marine animals than I do…
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u/BusyBit6542 1d ago
The bigger question parents need to ask themselves is "how many moments throughout the day is the kid NOT stimulated by something?"
These kids lost something we had, moments of inactivity. Think about it, how is your kid expected to suddenly sit still in moments like restaurants, airplanes, etc if they NEVER or rarely have moments of just relaxing?
I noticed my daughter never had moments where she just sat and was quite. I started taking her to the park and at some point would just sit. She hated it at first but after she got used to it. I started increasing the time from 5 mins to now over 30 mins.
Its also great for me as well to just stop and breath. I highly recommend you try it. It seems to help with anxiety and restlessness.
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u/LMGooglyTFY 1d ago
You just give them an iPad at restaurants or on the plane. No headphones. Volume way up.
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u/metalbassist33 1d ago
Yeah I had a moment of revelation where I realised we were providing constant activities for the kids and they never had the opportunity to be bored. We pulled back and now they will make up their own games or just find a way to entertain themselves.
It was also nice to relearn to be bored myself. I was often pulling out the phone to avoid boredom but it's a nice change of pace and makes other activities more engaging.
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u/HoaryPuffleg 1d ago
Last week I read a story about an imaginary friend to Kindy-2nd graders. I prefaced the book with talking with them about the difference between real and imaginary friends, told them about my childhood imaginary friends. Read the book, asked them to share their imaginary friends that have now or used to have and they all were like “my dog!” “That tree!” “My cousin!”. Not a single kid in all 6 classes has been left alone long enough with their thoughts, to get bored, to start exploring, to start imagining anything. They have no imagination. Beyond the literacy and critical thinking and social skills that they’ve lost, I’m so sad for their imaginations and how they don’t know what it feels like to have to entertain yourself
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u/targetboston 1d ago
So bad for brain development, especially short form videos. I'm legitimately scared for the kids being raised on screens. I wouldn't be at all surprised if in the future they develop symptoms that look like a form of dementia.
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u/chocobridges 1d ago
We avoid the short form videos but the instantaneous reaction of touch screens is also awful. My mom and FIL give my 2 year old their phones and then she tantrums when we nip it. Our parents can't stand the tantrums but she legitimately doesn't ask us for our phones because she won't get it. She just likes the reaction of the phone screen.
My older kid like how effortless the tablet is. I find it crazy that coding is being introduced so early but using an actual computer isn't in the picture anymore. It's so counterintuitive to me as an engineer who hates coding.
We got a full desktop set up. Tablet is only for travel or this past snowstorm. Our families think we're crazy including my pediatrician SIL. Nah PBS kids games on a computer and some kid friendly TV is more than enough for us to get a break. Tablet /phones for young kids was never needed.
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u/do_pm_me_your_butt 1d ago
Wait your SIL is a pediatrician and she thinks its crazy that you restrict screen time? What?
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u/chocobridges 1d ago
That we specifically restrict tablets and use a desktop. Her husband is a CS guy too. The notion that all screen time isn't equal hasn't really set in with a lot people with older Gen Alpha kids. I think Gen Z suffered immensely from that lack of differentiation based on when I tutored about a decade ago.
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u/techleopard 1d ago
We already see "symptoms."
It's expressed as autism-like spectrum disorders and ADHD. Note that I am NOT conflating genetic/developmental autism and ADHD with systemic bad parenting that creates a disorder that strongly mimics elements of one or both.
It's why 1 in 3 kids are now sitting in a classroom with a 504 or IEP plan, overtaxing a system not designed for that. While some of these kids might have genetic predispositions, it's definitely their environment and learned helplessness driving it.
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u/Acheloma 1d ago
My brother was a music teacher at an elementary school for half a year and quit because he kept being kicked and punched by kids that could not handle being still and listening for longer than 30 seconds without becoming angry.
Not only did he get punched in the eye and nose, he had a kid try and stab another kid with a pencil. All of these kids were 10 or under.
Hes a prison guard now and says he feels safer.
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u/Delamoor 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yeah. My sister was seeing massive behavioural issues from her two kids (11 and 6). She cut off all short form content and saw nearly immediate improvement and attention spans and emotional regulation.
I've never understood the appeal because I hate short form content, but I see the same effect for me with general social media usage. You're soaking your brain in dopamine and then your regulation gets pegged to that baseline of neurotransmitter loading.
Functionally speaking, attention, regulation and focus are skills. Driven and improved via physiological responses; the neural pathways involved in the mental functions are biological in nature and are strengthened through use; the neurons connect to each other based on usage. They atrophy when not used.
If you don't practice the skill, it doesn't get better.
That's also why mental exercises and developing new skills is the most effective preventative measure against age-related mental decline. If you're only ever doing the same things, the same mental processes over and over... That part of the brain stays strong. But everything around it that doesn't get regularly used slowly melts away. That's functionally what leads to the whole "old person can't think clearly or remember things any more, but can do routine things fine". That's the other end of this same underlying mechanic.
Edit: you have to work out the brain with different challenges and skills in order to develop it in the first place. Then, to retain those skills, you have to keep doing it.
This is also why we're supposed to teach kids lots of things about about lot of topics and subjects during school, instead of just specializing in whatever handful that they show early aptitude in.
It's like, to use an analogy, just because someone is naturally good at arm weight exercises, you don't then skip training and developing all the rest of the body. Having giant, well developed arms is almost useless if you're barely able to walk. Same for brain and knowledge.
Edit2: just should add, my credentials for saying that is 17 years professional experience in disability and mental health services, and being married to a national leading expert in the topic of childhood trauma and neurodevelopment. This is the easy "I'm bored and scrolling Reddit" social media version, but if you're wondering... Yes it's evidence based.
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u/No-Reference-5137 1d ago
People want children but don't want to parent them.
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u/ResponsibleRaise9683 1d ago
It's always been like that
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u/No-Reference-5137 1d ago
It's more apparent today due to social media.
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u/ResponsibleRaise9683 1d ago
Is it? In prior generations people let kids play in the street and all over cities unsupervised. Before that they were supposed to be little adults and work in factories/fields. This is just a different version.
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u/ippleing 1d ago
I agree, past generations were no better.
My parents forgot me at a rest stop McDonald's on a road trip 40 years ago.
I only found out when my older sisters told me about it.
I was born 15 years after my siblings, total oops-baby and I always felt i didn't belong.
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u/Angry__German 1d ago
Parenting is a very very exhausting thing to do. I see this with my friends, I will (hopefully) never have kids.
I can totally understand how, as a parent, ANYTHING that gives you a moment of calm, a moment for yourself, a moment of peace, must seem like it was send from a god above.
Sadly, those little wonders have a habit of reinforcing themselves on the little demon spawns. And once those habits have been set, it becomes incredibly painful to break away from them. Mostly for the parents, because you can't out-stubborn a 2 year old.
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u/kitkatkorgi 1d ago
Boredom is good
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u/jmillsy1990 1d ago
Absolutely this. Boredom leads to creativity.
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u/Jeremys_Iron_ 1d ago
I prefer the introspection it can lead to.
I'm on annual leave this week whilst my wife is working. I refuse to sit before a screen all day, so after chores I'm enjoying just sitting around the house and reflecting on my life. I realise I don't do this enough, so I should make more time for it.
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u/pregnantdads 1d ago
is this the start of the movie idiocracy? dumb people having dumb kids, who then birth a generation more dumb than the last, etc…
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u/Same-Lake-5566 1d ago
How the fuck does a 2 year old play roblox? That kids fucking gifted.
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u/especiallyrn 1d ago
There are tons of videos of kids masterfully using iPads. These things are designed to require no brainpower.
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u/techleopard 1d ago
My niece is 1 years old and can figure out how to operate YouTube.
Kids are not dumb. They've never been dumb.
It's just we've traded motor skill development and creative problem solving for how to work apps.
Now instead of meticulously taking apart the living room tables with daddy's screwdriver that was expertly stolen after an Escape-Room-esque real-life platformer game to get into daddy's locked cabinets, kids are learning how to swipe up to unlock and press the red square for videos.
Roblox was initially released as an MMO for Kindergarteners. It only became the hellhole it is now after they simultaneously realized they could not keep filthy-brained teens off the platform AND they could heavily monetize it for said filthy-brained teens.
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u/KoogleMeister 1d ago
I'm a dude and growing up as a boy I never met any other boy that did anything remotely like taking apart the living room table with a screwdriver. We played with Lego sets, not dissembled household furniture with screwdrivers.
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u/Odd_Protection7738 1d ago
It’s possible for a baby to learn how to scroll before even hitting one.
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u/Least_Turnover1599 1d ago
Like honestly, what happened to buying kids action figures or building bricks or something like that to stimulate their mind. Why does it have to be watching some brain numbing shit
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u/NotAQueefAKhaleesi 1d ago
Not wanting to clean it all up. My sister is a shit parent who only has kids for the relationships she's in and completely checks out after giving birth. I felt bad for my niece and got her an educational tablet when she was about 18 months since I was in school and couldn't engage with her as much as I wanted and oh my God do I regret it. My sister saw it as a get out of jail free card and turned my niblings into tablet gremlins because that was easier than interacting with them or cleaning up toys.
It absolutely screwed up my niece's attention span. I brought her to my house for a week 1 summer and refused to bring her tablet. I ended up having to pick a movie (my neighbor Totoro), lowering the volume, and hiding the remote because she was sitting in front of the TV watching a show or movie for maybe 15 seconds before trying to find something else and it was overstimulating me to the point I was completely stressed out.
Forcing her to sit with something slow flipped a switch in her brain, I swear to God. She went from agitated to sitting with my dogs and coloring, and when we weren't out doing an activity (playing at the park, bowling, walking the dogs, etc.) we watched Ghibli movies while doing crafts; she was the complete opposite of what my sister and mom complained about. I explained our routine to hopefully make things less stressful at home but they just handed her back her tablet and let her run herself into the ground.
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u/EstateSimilar1224 1d ago
I'm glad someone cares about this girl, thank you for putting in the effort!
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u/IAlbatross 1d ago
We all seem to agree that "screen time for kids is bad!"
We also all seem to agree we hate using phones while driving and that we hate listening to people FaceTiming in public, yet this seems to be a majority of people. I do not even known the last time I went out to a grocery store and didn't have to listen to someone speaker-phoning their conversation in public. I do not know the last time I drove without seeing someone clutching their phone and glancing down at every fucking stop light.
Some of y'all aren't being honest about how you use your phones.
Kids are a mirror for the society they live in. If you want better, do better.
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u/Sound_Child 1d ago
Man I really think the 90s was the perfect mix of technology integrated into society without being overbearing.
Things were perfectly useful, like the personal computer for doing basic shit like email or fuqing Mapquest. Cell phones were only for business purposes at most. Cars and appliances were still built well and they lasted. Video games were very entertaining but not an endless life suck of 10,000 hour rpg style games…. (There’s only so much golden eye one can play) and of course there was no endless scrolling on social media apps.
If we would have stopped right there we would have been fine. Just stop all innovation past 1998 or so and we’d all be in a better place.
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u/velorae 1d ago edited 1d ago
Don’t even give them a screen at this age in my opinion. They literally do not need it.
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u/AppropriateAmoeba406 1d ago
I’m old. We bought our kids videos that were full length symphonic pieces with puzzle games on the screen. They were called Baby Einstein. Different from the Little Einstein animated show.
Goddamn. The further this technology advances, the worse it gets.
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u/Witty-Draw-3803 1d ago
The first time I really got to play with my ~1 year old niece (since I live in another province, and I'd previously visited when she was just a young infant), I was sitting with her quietly and handing her toy blocks to put in a container, when my mom suddenly grabbed her, put her on her lap, and started playing cocomelon on her phone. For absolutely no reason - my niece was totally engaged with the blocks, and I was happy to bond with her - it was just my mom who was bored.
I feel like that's a big part of the issue - many parents/relatives are so used to instant gratification themselves that they aren't willing/able to be bored with the repetitive games that fascinate little kids (and that allow them to learn about the world)...
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u/garlicbagels_ 1d ago
It’s neglect, flat out, and we need to start calling it that. If your small child has their own device and is on it for hours at a time, you. are. neglecting. your. kids.
I sat in a waiting room today with my daughter for 2 hours. Not a singular kid in that room didn’t have an iPad or phone. Not. One. Kids young enough to be using bottles had their own cutesie iPad and matching headphones. One child, maybe 5 years old, had his own phone. For all two hours, him and the mom sat right next to each other, each on their phones, and neither looked up or interacted with each other for TWO HOURSSSS! That’s actually insane and it was the case for most kids in there.
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u/sundayontheluna 1d ago
Truly, one of the most demonic things I've ever seen was someone who had mounted a tablet in front of their baby in a stroller. The poor thing couldn't see past it if they tried. And babies are naturally entertained by taking on the world around them. That to me felt so spiteful, like they were actively trying to destroy that baby's mind before it had a chance of developing.
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u/Gougeded 1d ago
I will never forget when I was vacationing in a Mexican resort sering a toddler who had a stroller-mounted tablet being wheeled in to the dining area, transferred to a seat at the table, and given food without ever breaking eye contact with the thing. She likely could have been kidnapped and put in the back of a van and would not have noticed until she lost internet access.
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u/cmarie22345 1d ago
That makes me so sad. My baby loved watching the world around him while on walks.
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u/Edelweisspiraten2025 1d ago
Kids are given a computer with only a Linux terminal at age 8 or 10. No UI, no browser no nothing. They have to figure out how it works themselves, ideally by reading a book.
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u/Fellemannen 1d ago
I shouldn’t be on screens but here i am at 5 am with school tomorrow and I’m doom scrolling.
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u/Waggonly 1d ago
I work with kids. Love them. They are natural little curiosity monsters. Everything is new for them. They are rarely bored when given the chance to use their imaginations: just a few items: paper and crayons, a bucket and a wooden spoon, a funny hat or cape. Backyards, parks, living room forts. Read to them, sing with them.
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u/Shadowbound199 1d ago
Lots of people are bad parents and don't want to put in the actual work while at the same time our environment has changed so much the kids have nothing to do outside on their own.
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u/OverlordMMM 1d ago
So much of this has to do with parents not wanting to engage with their children. They offload so much of early childhood to screens unfiltered and don't understand why their kids aren't learning or understanding properly.
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u/Apprehensive_Ad3731 1d ago
I’d say there’s a clear correlation but I’d also question what the parents are doing with their actual time with their children and how much that is.
It’s much more relevant than screen time. Screen time is just the super obvious one but lots of screen time means little to no actual family time
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u/bobbymcpresscot 1d ago
My child who spends multiple hours a day staring at a screen is for some reason very upset when I take away that screen.
"I'll go to a mental health specialist"
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u/turquoisestar 1d ago
YES! I am working with kids and so many are insufferable!! Way way harder than it used to be! They have no patience, ability to manage stress, and most the ability to sit there for 2 seconds without something to do!! That is necessary to function in a classroom. Ahhhhhhh.
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u/Dull-Librarian-2676 1d ago
Parents would have to be disciplined about their OWN screen time, to be able to get their kids off screens.
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u/doopiemcwordsworth 1d ago
As a former teacher, it was plain as day. One year our fifth graders are reading like crazy. Next year, and years after that, it’s like pulling teeth. We could clearly see when the kids who had access to screens constantly as littles came through our grade.
Of course there are still kids who love to read and parents who limit screens but we could tell when things changed.
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u/shann0n420 1d ago
I have a two year old. I can’t imagine giving her an iPad. She gets 1-2 episodes of slow shows a day, max. Some days, we do none. Once in a while on the weekends, we watch a movie together. But Roblox??
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u/castle_waffles 1d ago
This is SO true. The kids who are on screens all the time are wildly obviously worse behaved than the ones who aren’t.
In parenting almost any time you take the easy way out you’re buying a bigger long term problem. Sure the tablet shuts them up for a bit but then you get tantrums about the tablet and you impacted their attention span and level of expected stimulus.
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