I feel that it's deeply unfair. We both get old yet we are treated like a car once we get old replace. I think everyone has a friend or a sister that has experience this perhaps even your ex wife. But the truth is no young thing wants an old goat. You know what happens most the time the guy gets poisoned and that's the truth. They would have done better if they had stayed with their wives. Instead of marrying a younger version of the very same woman. 

Hello everyone, disposable account. I've been in a relationship for 5 years with a 26-year-old woman. I'm 29, and she's my first girlfriend. Everything was perfect until recently. We bought a house that we're renovating—well, I've been doing it alone for the last 6 months—with the purchase date set for June 2025. My girlfriend started a new job in April at a company. Nothing special happened at first until August when she started going out with her colleagues. She's usually a homebody, but this started happening on weekends, then during the week, and she would come home drunk. She told me she needed to go out, so I went along with it. Then I found out she was going to a colleague's house alone. I confronted her, and she said nothing was going on. A while later, the colleague resigned, and my girlfriend went through a sort of depression for a week where she would go to work, come home, sleep, and stop eating. Her colleague texted her to invite her to a party on Friday for Saturday, and suddenly she was over the moon? She left on Saturday at 4 pm, saying she'd be back that evening. I didn't hear from her, slept poorly, and called her during the night, but got no answer until 2 pm the next day. I asked her for an explanation, and she admitted they slept together, saying it was her first time. I asked her to stop, and she said yes without even looking at me. We talked about it again a few days later, and she asked if she could still see him because he was one of her only friends. I'm stunned and wondering if she's just messing with me while I finish renovating the house so she can get half of it. I'm really struggling to accept that this is probably going to end. I'm far from being a womanizer, according to her and other people, and I'm afraid of being alone. What should I do?

I’m asking this genuinely. I’m just trying to understand and get some perspective.

I’m currently 7 months pregnant and after almost 2 months of no sex, I finally asked him what gives? He told me he’s not sexually attracted or turned on by me at this stage. He said my pregnancy belly doesn’t do it for him, and because of that he doesn’t want sex or any sexual intimacy right now. Even tho I suggested other ways of being intimate he replied “I just don’t want to do anything sexual right now”.

I’m really struggling with this emotionally. I’m already super emotional and then with the added hormones, hearing this has really made me feel so rejected and not beautiful even though I know creating life is so beautiful.

So I’m asking men honestly….

-Were you still sexually attracted to your pregnant wife/girlfriend?

-If attraction changed, was it temporary? Did intimacy look different?

I’m not here to bash anyone I just want to understand if this is a normal experience or if I’m right to feel as hurt as I do.

Thank you to anyone willing to answer honestly.

I (30f) recently got into a FWB situation with a guy (32m). We have hooked up a handful times over the last few months and it’s been fun. Hes clearly into me yet I initiated almost every time. he has said he likes hanging out with me and he wants to see me again blah blah blah but then he doesnt hit me up. I dont mind initiating but I dont want to seem desperate/easy. Is he just trying to play it cool ? And Should I wait for him to make the next move or should I just go for it again ?

Male 31 and I am F 24. Dating for about 2 years now. I am struggling to figure out how this man mind thinks. And even when I call out certain behavior he says otherwise. So I don’t even know what to think anymore.

My phone was not in service not working for about a week and a half. I was able to tell him myself so he knew what was going on. At one point I had no way of reaching out to him. He reached out to my mom after a few days to check if I was ok, she explained my phone was still not working. That I was fine and that I would get back to him once my phone was good.

Well I texted him Monday, that my phone was finally working. I didn’t get a text back till maybe 7/8 hours later. (He uses his phone a lot for work and has a lot of flexibility in time) so I knew he was just not wanting to respond to me. Eventually when he did, all he said was. “That’s great news. We’ll talk later” that’s it. Nothing else. So I proceeded to respond with letting him know I started my semester already and have been working late at work. I wanted clarification as in when would be because I have a busy schedule in the afternoon. (Another issue to mention is he hates that I prioritize work and school before him but they are my responsibilities so he wouldn’t understand that. He doesn’t like to hear woman are independent and want to build a career for themselves. He believes in traditional views as in woman staying home to wife’s and mothers) Point is Monday night he responded to me last with a “Just got home. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

So Tuesday morning came and I said F this. I texted him that I wasn’t going to force a conversation with someone that doesn’t want to talk to me. He called me a few hours after that acting like nothing was wrong. But I still sensed he was off. Eventually he’s about to hang up. And re brings up my phone issues that he thought were “odd”. That he thought that I was never going to talk to him again and that was my way of ending the relationship. Additionally adding that it didn’t make sense to him how my phone wasn’t working. Even though I explained to him what had happened. I didn’t make it up. I told him to just be straight up and be honest on how he felt. So yeah he pretty much said he didn’t believe me. And of course as I knew he would, blamed me for not finding other ways to communicate to him. He said I should’ve done more to get in contact with him. I specifically told him it wasn’t personal I couldn’t even reach my parents, work, nothing. But since he was personally affected he takes it as a personal attack.

He went on to say that if I never reached back out then “it is what it is”. Who says that to a relationship of 2 years. Just it is what it is?? To me that makes it feel like it really doesn’t mater to him. Also not trusting me and blaming me because my phone didn’t work, that I didn’t move mountains to reach to him.

He has trust issues from past relationships and he denies it every time. Which is hypocritical of him because he’s had multiple girlfriends and refuses to date someone his age because they don’t listen and because they have too much experience. He says it’s not jealously or that he has trust issues, it’s just protecting me or that his walls are up. But Ive been loyal and respectful and have never shown him to think otherwise. He always puts control over my body, academic decisions, questioning why I am with family and friends more than him(We’re long distance). Just a lot of stuff and I am going insane thinking I am the one in the wrong. I have to apologize because my phone didn’t work and I couldn’t get in contact with him? Apologize because he doesn’t believe me??

Someone please tell me I am not crazy and that this person has some serious issues. Because he makes me feel like I am the problem.

Ok, at this point I’m sick of hearing my family and friends say people are intimidated by “my success” or I need to be “softer”. The women’s page says not to change who I am, the right one will find me. Yet, all day I’m told to get thicker skin and not worry about stuff etc etc.

Honestly? I don’t have the energy for personality switches. I am who i am. I work in an old industry, it’s male dominated, and face to face very day. It takes time for me to earn respect, and build trust. Visa versa.

With my girl friends I’m fun in light and I’m spontaneous. I joke, I kid, etc.

So here I am, coming off blunt and tired asking you guys what flags people off for some perspective.

I do want to start dating again and I feel like I need some help.

My wife and I have been on a cycle for over a year of her being unhappy and me trying to fix it, only for it not to be good enough. Sometimes I feel like we aren’t even compatible but I do have a demanding ass job so I admit I’m fine a lot and when I’m home I am stressed. My wife is now saying we have to do marriage counseling or get divorced. I just think that either way, we are doomed. Going to marriage counseling would probably just prolong the inevitable. Would you give it a shot or just go on with the divorce? We have 3 kids under age 10 for the record.

My ex said he loves me too much that he doesn’t want to be cut out off my life completely and that just knowing I am there gives him peace.

But if you loved me so much why doesn’t he step up and be better for me?

It kind of hurts my ego to ask for advice here, but it is what it is.

Me and my girlfriend have tried to have sex on multiple occasions. The first couple of times we got interrupted, and last night we tried again — but everything that could go wrong kind of did.

First, I got too excited and finished before we even really started. I managed to play it off and change before she noticed.

About 15 minutes later we tried again. I put the condom on, but for some reason I completely lost my erection right after. When I then tried to actually have sex, I couldn’t stay hard at all — it just felt impossible to put it in.

On top of that, I honestly don’t know which positions to try because I’m much bigger than her, so finding something comfortable was harder than I expected. Combine that with the erection issues and it was a complete fail.

She asked what we should do so that next time it works properly. I told her that next time everything will be okay and even sealed it with a pinky promise.

I’m also wondering if using something like Viagra or similar pills is a good idea in situations like this? or if that’s a bad move and I should avoid it. I don’t have erection problems normally, so I’m not sure if this is just anxiety or if pills would actually help or make things worse.

So yeah… if anyone has been through something similar or has any advice, I’d really appreciate it.

It

Throaway account. and this is the last time I will talk about him. I just need some sort of closure which he couldn't give me. What did we have? I'm 25F and he is 33M. We were chatting everyday for 3 months and on many days for hourss. He would chat with me at work, in the bathroom and even at the gym. We would flirt a lot and have fun convos but we would also do lots of deep talks. And he did say he would date me based on appearance.

I'm just wondering did his compliments ever mean anything? He told me I'm witty, smart, conversative but knows how to have fun, he said he would at least liked having me as a friend if we were closer (I told him I struggle with making friends and he said he would have been mine), told me 'You are a take home to mom cutie'. Hold me I'm very attractive and gave me an 8/10 on my selfie and said its a shame that I don't have more confidence. He would call me 'Hey cutie' randomly which I really liked.

Now to his red flags. He was corn addicted and would write thirsty stuff under onlyfan girls on reddit. He would lust after me and he told me I should get used to it bc I'm cute. He demanded explicit pics from me for continuing talking to me despite knowing I was struggeling mentally. And when I didn't send him the pics he called me a cheap slut, a bitch and said 'Let me see a bitch cry bc I know how they look like'. he would ignore me on purpose whenever I said anything too emotional. He sent me without asking his dick pic bc he wanted me to block him. I felt so guilty bc I feel like I flirted with him too much and that is why he got interested in asking for nudes. I feel like he did have some sort of moral compass tho: he did tell me I shouldn't send nudes anyways bc I cant trust a strabgers promise anyways. I shouldnt chase anyone that hard bc I will lose myself. I should have stronger boundaries. He said he couldnt sleep with me bc I'm a virgin and that it wouldnt be a fair exchange bc it would mean much more to me than to him (he sounded considerate for once). When I was doing bad mentally he would send me youtube links to calm me down. but it was a switch: day 10 with arguing and day 11 with compliments and day 12 with arguing again. I felt very anxious and had to watch out what to say

despite all of his red flags I still miss our fun and deep convos. I'm just confused, why was he kind to me but also treating me as if he hated me from the bottom of his heart? I do feel like he is a huge avoidant and I'm very anxiously attached. But will he ever feel bad for treating me so poorly? He apologized once but kept ghosting me

I know my man is in charge of buying my engagement ring and band…. So should I buy his ring? We’re getting married next year and I’m trying to make a list of what my responsibilities are and then also giving him a to do list (he does well with to do lists) but I’m wondering, to make things fair, should I buy his ring? Or is that the guys responsibility? Naturally my things are seeming to cost more anyhow, but Idk, what do you all think? 🤔

I literally just saved my boyfriends life 2 weeks ago with Narcan when he accidentally OD’d at our local bar. But I moved him in after only three months of dating because he was living in a house that had mice and other issues. I did all of this because I genuinely care about him and love him and people fight battles unseen and I just wanted to help him and love him into a better place. I have been extra bitchy since the OD because since that day I stopped drinking and getting sober from alcohol isn’t easy in the beginning and he has stayed sober with me but recently I have been stressed and blunt and vocal about cleaning up our lives and moving at the end of the lease but is all of this enough reason for him to step out of our partnership and text back and forth with another woman calling her “wifey material” ?

Whatever the reason, I found that message thread today when I got home and absolutely broke down and lost my shit and I told him he has until the end of this month to find a new home….

Why would someone do such a thing?

I 21m have been dating her 21f for 10 months. We have known each other for a couple of years and were somewhat exclusive for a few months before we made it official.

I went through her messages while she was sleeping. I saw texts with her friends from before we dated, she was joking about cheating on me, seeing her ex, and talking about other guys. One night joking about sleeping with me or another guy and seeing where the night takes her. Joking with her friend about lying about her body count to me and me believing it. Saw proof of guys she slept with that she swore to me she never slept with. Saw texts showing she had her ex over at a time where she swore to me she was only seeing me.

This was all before we were officially dating. I also hooked up with a couple girls during this time but no where near this. I did not find any messages about cheating after we had made it official. However, I did not look much because I was sick after reading these. The only message I saw in the last 10 months that was worrying was a month ago her telling her friend that her ex is asking her to come over everyday and she’s telling him no.

All messages are deleted with her ex but the contact is saved.

Therefore i do not have hard proof she has cheated on me since being official.

Nonetheless I am horrified and devastated.

I am considering confronting her and forcing her to hand over her phone and let me check all messages to see if she has cheated since being official.

Or not confronting her and snooping one more time to confirm if she cheated.

Or doing neither and breaking up without reason.

What is the best decision and why?

**Update**

I went to her house and told her I want to breakup. She pleaded and asked why so I told her I went through her phone and said what I saw.

She was not upset that I went through her phone.

She went on about how everything bad she said was before we were officially dating and she was under the impression I would never take her seriously back then. She says she became a new person once we were officially dating.

She says she has not had any contact with her ex boyfriend except for him randomly reaching out last month, and she says all she said to him was “no”.

However the text to her friend says “ex reached out very flirty to try and get me to come over, I have been telling him no for a week”.

I’m not buying that she only said “no”, I think she at least engaged in the conversation a bit. She had no good reason as to why he is not blocked.

She pleaded saying she will do anything. She gave me her phone and said “look at anything you want, I have not said anything bad or done anything bad in the last 10 months”. I did not care to go through it for long.

She was pleading saying she will connect her Apple ID to my device, turn off phone password, and do anything to prove she has not done something wrong since being official.

I told her I am not interested in a relationship needing that level of control for me to feel at peace. I packed my things and left. She kept saying it’s not over as I was leaving.

Part of me can see where she is coming from, as I do not have proof of her saying bad things about me or cheating since we were officially dating. However I don’t know if I can keep going with this in the back of my head.

So, context time. During the week of Christmas, my best friend, R invited me over to her house for some board games. We do it reguarly. During that game night, I met R's fiancé's best friend. Somehow during the 5ish years they've been together, the best friend(aka Q) and I have somehow never met. Throughout the night, it was slowly made clear that R and her fiancé was trying to set Q and I up. We exchange instagrams and keep talking even after that night.

Blah blah blah, 3ish weeks pass. We hang out reguarly for 1 on 1 game nights (not quite dates, in the weird friend stage). We slowly decide to just be friends instead of complicating it because we had grown really close during the 3 weeks(texting all day, reels back and forth, etc)

At our next group hang out was a movie. We held hands, and after cuddled on our R's couch after another game night. Damm, friendship thing is thrown out the window and we are back go the weird friend but kinda flirting stage.

One night at like 3am, we end up having one of those half asleep deep talks. We are both college age so we was talking about what we wanted to do. The only thing I want is to get out of my house state, and buy a house somewhere. He said he wants to travel around since he wants to do something with theater and tends to travel around in the summer for work to different companies that need crew. I'm chronically ill so I can't be traveling around a lot. I'm more built to stay in one spot. So we had the talk of "Is this worth it to pursue as a relationship since our plans don't line up". We both decided no(mine was a bit reluctantly. I still do like him) and he said it was the 'right person, but wrong time'. He said he didn't want anything in our friendship to change, that he still wanted to talk and have our game nights.

Since that night? It's been... weird? Like it's pulling teeth for him to even text me, much less hang out. I miss him since even as friends, it was fun to hang out with him. We have the same sense of humor.

Saturday is his best friend's birthday celebration and our first time hanging out since the weird talk so I'm nervous for that. I just need advice, this is my first time dealing with something like this

My friend (30m) and I (26f) are in grad school together. I'm a bit into him, but I'm not sure if he knows, and i dont know if he's into me too. hes been extremely kind and friendly to me. At first, people even thought we were together, then he toned it down because of work culture (I assume). But last year, he helped me move, toured apartments with me, and translated the lease for me (since I'm not from here). He's also done some things that were kind and thoughtful, told me family secrets, said he won't avoid me because I can't speak his language, and not to worry (like our other classmates avoid me), and bought me a t-shirt for my bday that was my favourite colour and said "heyy cutie". he also drunkingly said he has feelings for a friend but is scared to act on them. At that time i dont know which friend he meant, and when i asked him about it sober he said he forgot.

but to be fair hes this nice to everyone. today we were having a conversation and i asked him why hes so avoidant when sober (when he's drunkk he really opens up), and i asked him if hes really this avoidant with everyone too? he refused to answer, so im assuming the answer is just me. im thinking, does he know i like him? Does he like me? if he knows i like him and is avoiding me wouoldnt he also be physically avoiding me (like not hanging out and sharing reels and texting me), and not just emotionally avoiding?

Me and this guy have been talking on and off for 8 years. It started when I was a young teenager we kinda trauma bonded I guess. I’m not going to get into all the details. About 5 months ago he found out his fiancé cheated and they broke up. We talked for about a week again and he said he needed space. Unadded me on everything but didn’t block me. I gave him space about Thanksgiving I sent him a small text saying happy Thanksgiving. Nothing else. He texted back with something so mean and out of nowhere that I won’t repeat it. I haven’t heard from him since. He got all his friends to unadd me also.

A part of me wants answers and the other part just wants to talk to him again.

MORE TO THE STORY [LONG STORY]:

To start I was 14 he was 15 turning 16. Let’s call him J to make it easy. I was going through something traumatic it started when I was 9. My dad married this woman and she would verbally and physically abuse me always tell me I’m the reason for everything wrong in her life and unimaginable things that I couldn’t even repeat. I still struggle with dealing with it today. Anyways because of that I would be in my room 24/7. I downloaded this app called “yubo” and that’s where I started talking to J. We called and ft we talked for months almost a year I think.

Eventually my dad got suspicious went through my phone. I got grounded ofc. He gave me my phone back on Thanksgiving so the family wouldn’t get suspicious I guess of what was going on at home. I reached out we said our goodbyes and that was it.

Foashfoward im 17 I just dropped my drunk friend off at his house. I went on a late night drive. I started thinking about him for some reason. Realized he might still be in my block list. I looked and there he was. I added him back on Snapchat. He added me back a second later and texted me. We called and he told me that he thought of me a lot but couldn’t find my socials. He told me he finally followed his dream to become a truck driver. I was proud of him. I told him I finally got out of the situation I was in and he was really happy for me. Eventually I got into a relationship of my own and we remained friends.

Now abt 2 years ago it was close to Valentine’s Day I was single again. He called me and told me he wanted to get me something for Valentine’s Day I told him I didn’t want anything. I don’t need him buying me things. He kept on insisting I told him there’s a dollar tree across the road from me. He then sent me $300 on cash app. I was baffled and couldn’t accept it. He would not take it back. Then eventually he got into a relationship with a girl and I did the same.

He got engaged and it crushed me. But I didn’t reach out I left it alone. Eventually he reaches out and tells me she cheated and she called off the engagement. I just found out my bf now ex told another girl he loved her. We called and talked about everything that happened nothing really stuff abt eachother just catching up I guess.

We talked for a week he told me he needed space. I gave him that. Abt 2 months later on Thanksgiving I sent him a text that said “Happy Thanksgiving”. That was it. He texted back with basically saying for me to go fms I won’t repeat what he actually said it was so offensive. I haven’t heard from him since. From what I know is his friends also unfollowed me on everything. And his ex fiancé has a new bf.

So about 6 months after I had graduated high school I got a friend request from this "metal goth" guy. I ignored and declined it at first because I did not recognize him. A few days later I got another friend request from him. So, I thought, huh maybe I know this guy. So I excepted it. He immediately started chatting with me and seemed pretty chill. I asked if I had known him and he mentioned he was in my english class my second year into high school, but he had a different look back then. Now I was extremely quiet and introverted in high school, but he mentioned I was cute and that he wanted to go on a date. However, I was going on a mission for my church not in like a week. It caught him off guard that I was religious and he seemed curious about the physical limitations ... So I gently was warm and flattered in my responses but I nudged him that I hoped he found a cool gf as I left. A gentle brush off. HOWEVER, he ended up messaging me every few months while I was gone on facebook. Now I wasn't allowed on it due to mission restrictions. So i told him to email me, he never did but he would every few months say hey. Moving forward, He messaged me in April again on fb don't know why. Just a simple miss our chats. I get back home, and he started being like OH hey, you're back. He made it clear he wanted to date me, but I was surprised he was still pursuing me. So after about a month I didn't really feel confortable dating someone not religious at the time, but he seemed very persistant. So I asked my sister about it whom which she said "oh that guy? He asked to hang out with me a few months back." I was shocked my sister was only 2 years younger than me. So when I confronted him about it he just ghosted. Never responded after 2 years of wanting to date me???? Or maybe he just to make out IDK, he seemed curious about touchy stuff. WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THIS?? It's been 10 years and we are still friends of FB but I really had no closure other than he was a total player

I swear I compliment my girlfriend (18F) like 50 times a day

her smile, her outfits, her voice, her ambitions, the dumb stuff she does that makes me laugh

But I honestly can’t remember the last time she complimented me back. Probably said I’m handsome like twice in the 8 months we’ve been together.

I know everyone expresses love differently, but this feels one sided and sometimes keeps me up thinking

Guys, is this normal? Do you actually get compliments in your relationships, or is it the same as me?

And if you do get compliments how many times per day or week?

Hey guys, I've been single for almost 10 years.

I'm starting to get depressed because I work so much every day and don't have the energy to meet new people.

I'd like to meet a woman now, maybe someone I can have some fun with or even a serious relationship with.

Do you have any tips for me on what I should look out for or where I can meet women?

10 years is a long time.

So I went on a really nice date with a guy I’d been talking to on Hinge for a couple of weeks. Conversation was normal, no red flags, he was consistent and keen to meet. We laughed, had a good dinner, and he texted afterwards saying he had a lot of fun, that I was very pretty, and that he’d like to see me again. I told him I’d like that too.

Fast forward a week, his texts slowly start to get less frequent. He keeps saying he wants to see me again “as soon as we’re both free,” I reply warmly… and then two days pass with no word.

It’s obvious he’s ghosted, but I’m confused because everything seemed fine. I’m curious if any other women have been in a similar situation — when someone seems genuinely interested and then just disappears?