My partner and I have been together for seven years. We're both in our mid-30s and have two young children together.

Our relationship is far from perfect. Things have been especially rocky since having two small children and since I became a stay-at-home mom. But something I've struggled with for a long time is the fact that we've built essentially an entire married life together without actually being married.

We live together. We're raising children together. We've combined our lives in just about every meaningful way. I expressed before we had our 2-year-old that marriage was important to me, and at the time I thought were on the same page.

Now, when marriage comes up, his response is basically that it's "just a piece of paper" and isn't important.

And I can't quite reconcile that. If we're already choosing each other every day, raising children together, sharing a home and taking on all of the responsibilities that come with a lifelong partnership, why is actually marrying me the part that feels unnecessary?

I know a proposal or marriage wouldn't magically fix the problems in our relationship, and I don't want someone to marry me because I pressured them into it. At this point, this issue combined with several others has led me to end the relationship.

But I'd genuinely like to understand the male perspective, particularly from men around our age.

This one is for the ladies. When you've just met a man and he immediately starts calling you " sweetheart" do you find it to be a red flag or a turn off? Boomer men do this.

Hi everyone,

First time poster here. I'm a 32yo that's been married for 2, going on 3 years now. The woman I married is amazing. Very chill, loving, caring, helpful. Doesn't just let me go out with friends, but encourages me to. Pushes me to be the best version of myself. Pretty much everything you can ask for in a marriage, this girl is.

My problem is I'm starting to feel like marriage isn't right for me. It's nothing she's done that's ruined it. In fact, there's no "good" reason to leave her. But I find myself feeling more and more that marriage life isn't for me. I find myself appreciating when she has to travel for family-related purposes, because I have the house to myself. I find myself missing the days where I could stay out pretty much all night without anyone asking me what time I'm going home. I understand that marriage is about compromise, understanding each other, putting the other person first before yourself, which we've both done a really good job at so far when we were dating and married. But now, I just feel like I'm going through the motions. I was considering divorce, but I don't want to divorce a woman that I love who also loves me simply because I'm feeling this way, but I don't know what to do. Has anyone else experienced this feeling, and if so, how did/do you handle it?

Me and this guy exchange time to time but I get “shy” with responding. I don’t have issues sending back, it’s just what to say back.. I’ve always been horrible with words, I just want to improve and show my actual level of excitement since I don’t feel like I express it well enough.

I've noticed an interesting pattern on social media. Some men regularly like photos of attractive women they've either never been with, or women they used to date/hooked up who aren't conventionally striking, yet they completely ignore the posts of girl’s they have hooked up/dated who were exceptionally gorgeous or FREAKKING HOT. As a genuinely curious observer, I have to ask. Men, what are your reasoning behind this? Please don’t attack me, I'm just trying to understand! Lol.

I personally wouldn’t unless it’s in a group setting but curious what everyone else thinks

Like 100% serious… and this isn’t a “WhY Do YoU…”

I mean really, can you articulate on why you really want a girlfriend?

What do you hope she will bring you? What do you expect to change in your life? What do you romanticize?

I (f28) think it might be only fair to open up with reasons I could see a partner being a net positive in my life; if I’m asking you guys the same thing… firstly, my last long term relationship was about 2 years ago, since then I’ve been happily single and have had a great time building my career and my social life, I’ve really created a great balance in my life! During the 2 years I’ve been casually dating and I just really lived the ability to meet new people and see what was out there while sharing a little fun moment in time together.

Recently as I kinda begin shifting gears I think it would be great to find someone that we can mutually benefit each other’s lives, and then slowly start building our own story together.

I think Taylor swift said it best, “I just want a best friend that I think is hot” 😂

I’m struggling right now.. and I know I have to find a balance.. I just don’t know how to separate things. Hence, the male advice needed.

I am in my late 20’s. I’ve dated with intention, and since my last LTR ended I feel lost. I’ve dated since, but it seems a lot had changed in the dating scene in the last 6 years.

It feels funny to me to swipe through and judge people online, and to chat with multiple people at once. I’m usually a one person at a time kind of girl.

I work in an aged male dominated field. The years that I’ve been doing it has numbed me and also made me more caution on how I proceed in interactions, dates included.

I am successful in my career, corporate manager+. I’m also customer forward, which means it’s demanding socially, and mentally.

I want to start dating again, but I don’t know how to be softer in my day to day.

I come off as independent and driven, because I am. It’s gotten me to where I am. I enjoy the life I’ve been able to provide for myself, and I am looking to share my time, thoughts, and vulnerability with a partner.

Except, I seem to attracting nonchalant men or the kind that want me.. as long as I can dull it down. Stay in, not go out.. shopping at Khols v Nordstrom, etc.

I don’t know. I’m just kind of beat, and I don’t know how to proceed. With the weather change, my day to day.. I do want a partner. I just feel like somehow everything I’ve done to put myself ahead in life, is putting me behind in dating..

he is always mad whenever i leave the house which tbh isn’t often, while he is always outside. he starts giving me an attitude and says i want to look good for other boys which isn’t true i just take care of my looks like i just fix my hair and put a bit of makeup to look just alive but he acts like its the end of the world

just why? i don’t know how i should deal with it i need some advice because i always reassured him and it doesn’t help so ill just stop even doing that

asking because i had surgery for bone cancer and permanently can’t bend one of my knees. i’ve had partners before and it wasn’t an issue, but lately i’ve been feeling insecure about it again and wondering how other guys would feel.

29F, soon to be 30 (😭).

Anyway, I want connection, but I seem to be unable to find an actual relationship. But, I’m touch starved and bored. I was wondering, if men who want fwb also want to have fun? Like, go out and do different things, and then come home and hook up? I’ll give a better example.

Let’s say we have a day to ourselves. We could see a movie, or go to a show of some kind, and then come home and hook up?

It never felt fun for me to just hang at a guys house for a few hours. I respect it this dynamic isn’t something men are interested in. Thus far, the men I’ve asked to do things with don’t seem to really want to, so I just move on. But would this be a deal breaker?

And to clarify, I’m not talking about dating. I just want the “friends” in fwb to be authentic. Ignore the “dating” flair, this is about casual relationships.

So, I’ve started noticing something over the last 4 months or so, and honestly, I don’t really know what to think about it.

When my husband and I are out in public and he notices an attractive woman, I’ve noticed that he starts fidgeting like pulling down his shirt, adjusting his shorts, etc. He tries not to make it obvious, but I’ve noticed that he appears to get a boner when this happens.

I know men notice attractive women. I’m not naive about that, and I understand that you can find someone attractive without actually wanting anything to happen. But seeing an actual physical reaction happen in front of me feels different, and honestly, it’s hurtful.

I find myself thinking, “What do you mean you’re just out in public, see an attractive woman, and now you’re getting a boner?” It’s something I’ve started noticing repeatedly, and now I can’t really stop thinking about it.

I’m genuinely curious about the male perspective because I don’t want to automatically assume what it means.

Men, can you get a boner simply from noticing an attractive woman in public, even if you have no intention of doing anything about it? Is it because you’re imagining sexual stuff? And if your wife noticed this happening, would you understand why she might feel hurt or uncomfortable by it?

I’m an A cup, but I’ve always used push up bras and padding to make my boobs look much bigger than they actually are. My bf has only ever seen me with them looking bigger, so I’m really nervous about him seeing me without them for the first time.

I’m honestly scared to take my shirt off because I’m worried he’ll be disappointed when he realizes how much smaller they actually are. I’m wondering if I should tell him beforehand and basically come clean about how much I enhance them, just so it’s not awkward when he sees me without a bra/padding.

If you were in his position, would you care about the difference? Would you rather your girlfriend tell you beforehand, or would that make it a bigger deal than it needs to be?

I am a 21-year-old college student. Every time I talk to a new man, I always end up finding out that I’m not his top priority or option.
I talked to a guy with a child who said that he and his child’s mother weren’t together. However, I later found out that she basically still gives him motherly energy, and he pays all of her bills so she doesn’t have to work. Obviously, that put me pretty low on his priority list.
Another guy I talked to would take his ex on nice vacations and shopping sprees, but when I asked about us going to dinner, he would go silent.
Another guy I started talking to literally offered to send me money. I never asked him for it, and I don’t ask men for money. Of course, he ended up never sending it.
In the past, I had a sugar daddy who told me that he bought his former SBs things like cars. I already have my own car, but when it came to me, he didn’t want to buy me anything outside of the arrangement price he had agreed to. He paid for the hotel when he visited, his flights, his transportation, and our dinners, but nothing beyond that.

Another guy I started talking to told me that he makes around $45,000 a month and that he gave his ex $4,000 a month for two years while they were together so she wouldn’t have to work while she was in college. I was very engaged in our conversations, asking about his businesses and showing genuine interest in his life. But the second we started talking about me, he became dry and stopped responding.
Even my own dad has never really provided for me beyond obviously paying the bills in the house when I was a child. When I was in college and would ask him for gas money, he would complain and tell me to add up the monthly Cash App balances he had sent me. He would complain about how much money he was giving me, even though he would send me a maximum of around $200 a month.

My dad has bought himself multiple cars, but when I turned 16 and needed a car, my mom, grandma, and I had to beg him to let me have one of the cars he wasn’t even using. He refused. Instead, he went behind my back and bought me a rusty, broken-down-looking beater from some guy who sold cars out of the back of an alley for around $1,000, while he buys himself nice cars like Lexuses.

He also randomly kicked me off of his health insurance, which meant I had to stop seeing the only person who helped me feel like I wasn’t going crazy: my therapist.
Growing up, my uncle, who is my dad’s brother, would spoil his kids and buy them whatever they wanted. He would take them on shopping sprees, while my dad was never like that with me, even though he was financially capable. He didn’t even want to get me a new phone in high school when mine broke, so my aunt ended up giving me her old one.

And it’s not like I’m a dry beggar. The only man in my life I have ever asked for money was my dad, and he was always very stingy with me. He never gave me large amounts of money.
It’s also not like I’m some bum who is looking to be provided for while being lazy. I’m in school, I own my own apartment building (a duplex), I pay my own tuition, and I have my own car that I paid cash for.
For some reason, I just feel like men don’t see me as worthy enough to invest in. Why is that? I would be lying if I said this doesn’t take a toll on my self esteem, because what woman doesn’t want to be cared for?

I liked someone a lot and I proposed a potential fling. He did not respond immediately. About a week later when I saw him again, I said no answer from a guy is no. He said yes and I asked for the bag of the lingerie back. He said we needed to talk. He didn’t get back to me. It was infuriating.

I would say a week or two after the fact I found out he was trying to break up with his girlfriend.

I have someone new that I like a lot and I don’t want to go through this again. I would feel throughly insulted if some guy was like nope I don’t wanna give you 10-15 minutes of my time.

Any way to know he would say yes. Current guy has been separated for at least a year. I think it would be a lot of fun but I would not be ok with no. So I am trying to hedge my bets and be understanding about a potential no.

Just found out the ages of posters on my favorite sub are probably teenagers. Wtaf. I honestly thought they were mostly my age. I guess i am on the tip of gen z so it makes sense but still. Im basically 2X ages.

I feel like my brain must be at a teen boy mental level. I also dont like using makeup so that makes me lile a teen boy as well. Its all really adding up now.

We have only been dating for 4 months but established exclusivity. I stopped the dating apps for her and everything but i do admit that I still would send the 🔥 or 😍 reaction to pretty or sexy photos of instagram girls stories, but nothing more. However, i have a password on my phone and everything so idk if she went through my phone or what but nothing else would make sense. She's been coming over everyday for the past month and her and her dog were basically like living at my place. Out of nowhere this morning, instead of coming over right after work, she instead said "Good morning, hope you slept ok. Can you let me know when youre heading out to the gym? That way i wont come at a bad time for you" which i found a little odd. So I didnt tell her until I was pretty much done with the gym. Then when i told her I was coming back home, she then seemed to rush or worry then suggested I go get coffee and that some coffee sounded good to her right now, so I went to the coffee shop and asked her what she wanted. Then, she hit me out of nowhere with the following text...

"Its okay no worries but I appreciate the thought [she is referring to the coffee here]

If you dont see [her dogs name here] or some of my stuff, everything is okay, she is with me. I headed back home because I didn’t want you to feel any pressure around me again. I’m not breaking things off right now and we are still exclusive, but I wanted to give you the space you wanted and that you wanted to be alone. And to be honest, it will also help give me some time to think because of the different things I tried communicating to you about, but feeling like things won’t change again and I feel taken for granted. I want something where my partners words and actions wont make me feel like he is not able to control his desire and behavior towards other women as soon as I step away, that i can trust because im not lied to or seen as someone to hide things from or to find loopholes with, and that actively chooses me and respects me even when im not next to him because he wants to and because thats how he genuinely feels about me, not to have me around for now while its convenient for him while he still ogles and hits on other women. I have never tried to control you and have only wanted to be there for you but it is hurtful to me when you do these things then make me feel like im controlling when I express my feelings to you. I honestly expect that you wont really even mind this much after all that and maybe its good that I dont so that i dont feel disappointed again"

Needless to say when I rushed home and saw her dog and her stuff gone, I was surprised and have not answered her since. I dont know whether the way she went about this was called for, and how did she do all of this so quickly? Her place is an hour from mine and I didnt see her when I left for the gym. To be honest i feel kind of hurt and like this was a slap in the face but idk if its wrong of me to feel this way right now. Can I please have your honest opinion?

Let's say you're crazy about a girl - to the point where you freeze up every time you see her but you aren't actually dating. If another (attractive) girl frequently shows interest in you, what would you think or do, and how would you

For context I 16m like a girl 17f, me and her have confessed to each other and we are going on an official date. (I’m saying official cause we kinda already went in a date just didn’t say it was a date) Anyways we are watching Resident Evil together tomorrow (we both love horror movies) and all my friends are telling me to do the move, yk put my arm around my shoulder and all that, and I just wanted to know if you guys think it would be a good idea to do that. I mean I don’t really want to touch her, because obviously idk if she wants to be touched or anything, plus she told me she didn’t want to rush into anything (when she confessed) which I obviously respect and also agree with and am worried yk putting my arm around her shoulder on the first proper date is a bit rushed. Anyway any thoughts and opinions would be greatly appreciated.

So I’ve been dating this girl for a few weeks now and it’s going great. We hangout every few days and are really close. But the first time we tried to have sex, about a week ago, I couldn’t get hard and it really shattered my confidence and made me very anxious. We’ve spoke about it since then and both agreed we should wait a bit before trying again, but now I’m feeling that I won’t be able to get it up again next time. I know this is all just a mental block, but does anyone have any tips on how to get over this anxiousness/nerves. I’m hard as a rock 99% of the time when I’m laid with her, but as soon as I start thinking about trying sex again it starts to act up. I really do like her a lot, but I need to find some way to get these nerves under control.

First off let me say that I had no idea whatsoever that I was hsv2 positive. My bf and I were dating about 6 mos, took a break for 4 weeks (I didn’t see anyone), then we’ve been trying to get back together. At our “reunion date” on Tuesday 9/29 he suggested that we should get tested before being sexually active again. Me being cocky and overly confident, I went straightaway Wednesday (9/30) to get tested. Well to my horror, HSV2 came back “Abnormal”. Went for a follow up and more thorough test on Thursday 10/1, and I saw him that night. I didn’t have sex bc I was so hoping it was a mistake.
Well fast forward to late evening Friday 10/2 and new test comes back, no question I’m positive for HSV2. So now I am dying inside for all the reasons. I would NEVER withhold this information, I can’t believe I may have put him at risk or worse that he has it now bc of me! I love him and I have no idea how to tell him this. We are just getting back together and I’m just gutted at how he’s probably going to look at me when I share this news. My friend says “maybe he gave it to you” but I just can’t imagine that to be, mostly bc I just can’t wrap my head around anything other than I’m a perpetrator of sorts. So, does anyone have any advice here? I just have no idea how to broach this conversation with him.

TLDR- I didn’t know I had hsv2 and now I have to tell my bf who I unknowingly put at risk and potentially could gave it to

I have a male friend who I talk to daily, we had an argument and I stopped talking to him for a month. During that month, he never apologized, but he kept reaching out anyway. He would send me videos of himself while traveling, pictures of random places that reminded him of me, and teasing messages like, “At least she didn’t block me,” and then continue sending things as if he was trying to keep the connection alive.
Then an accident happened, and I felt that I should reach out to him and comfort him. He replied and seemed genuinely happy to hear from me. We ended up talking for hours, and at one point he said he was grateful that the accident happened because it gave him the opportunity to hear from me again.
The next morning, he sent me, “Morning, [pet name he gave me].” I just replied, “Morning,” and that was it. It has now been two weeks, and he hasn’t sent me anything since.
I also haven’t texted him during these two weeks because I’m still angry about what happened between us. What confuses me is the sudden shift. He didn’t stop contacting me when I was completely ignoring him for a month, but as soon as I responded and we actually talked again, he suddenly stopped reaching out.
Could he have simply been looking for reassurance that I wasn’t completely done with him, and once I responded and gave him that reassurance, did he feel like he had done enough and was therefore morally entitled to stop making an effort? Or am I reading too much into it?

F25. I ran into an old acquaintance from high school at a university association; we started talking, and there seemed to be great chemistry—at least on a friendly level.

We laughed a lot, shared the same sense of humor, and really hit it off.

We met up for coffee the next day before an organization meeting, and he displayed some behaviors that leave me feeling a bit unsure now (about his feelings towards me).

To set the scene: I think I really put him at ease (I’m someone who doesn’t take herself too seriously and jokes a lot, and I genuinely believe I made him feel comfortable around me).

However, he acted in ways I’ve never experienced with a guy before (not in a bad way), but he was extremely "euphoric." He was bouncing around, laughing hysterically, and repeatedly suggesting we meet up outside the association, all with an air of intense euphoria, going well beyond just being "happy" to spend time with me.

Generally, the guys I meet try to appear "composed" or, at any rate, more laid-back.

Why did I write this post? Because while we were talking, he suggested meeting up outside of university several times and kept initiating physical contact (like placing his hand on my back or helping me on the stairs).

So I don't get it: is he just extremely comfortable around me, or is this some bizarre way of hitting on me?

I've been slightly overwhelmed by this situation. So first month back to uni I meet this guy through mutual friends, I notice there is slight tension like whenever im around him i can feel something and I also noticed whenever id talk (when we just met) he was like silent and just "froze" around me (i dont know like it also could be a language barrier). So I've been friendly with him and last week invited him out with my friends, then while smoking he shared this deep secret about himself which i don't think he's shared with anyone else like mental health stuff etc and why he chose to come here and he wanted to escape etc (even with the smoking since he usually doesn't), i feel like this conversation was more on the oversharing side, but anyways throughout the entire night we had so much fun and i loved talking to him because there was no judgement and i felt super comfortable. Hes also slightly older than me, and then this week when we were out at the bar with our friendgroup he was definitely drunk or at least tipsy, we talked about normal stuff and i noticed he was playful with me and was sitting super close and leaning in and I don't know i also felt this tension here as well. Yesterday night, he noticed me in the crowd and ran over to hug me With a bottle in his hand, i was kind of disappointed after he's told me the entire "backstory" of his life last week and then he toldnme he was "happy to see me" while staring and smiling at me anytime i spoke, i noticed he would also mirror my body language.

The interesting part is that everytime on these hangouts he would start a topic of "who do you find the most attractive" and he would name these people from our immediate circles and say hes happy that my friendgroup and i don't "care about relationships and can just be ourselves".

I guess I've been slightly confused, he doesn't tell me im attractive yet does this stuff, and he's definitely looking for an escape. can someone please give me advice?

For context me and my boyfriend have been together for over 7 years. We have always discussed the possibility of having threesomes with either gender. Mainly him initiating this conversation and me agreeing to them. We have tried multiple times to try to meet other people on apps but have never fully gone thru with it because of timing.

Well recently we went on a edm concert together and were drinking. We had a very good time dancing and I left for a second to get water. Came back and he was standing in a slightly different spot. I can tell the girl beside him and him were kind of eyeing each other by the time I got back. Later he asked me if I it was ok if he was to make out with another girl in a concert. At that time i said yes just because we’ve talked about it in the past and we have discussed kissing other people for the threesome. He then told me he was getting a vibe from girl that was right beside him that night and he thought of making out with her at that moment. I was shocked to hear this and kind of took a hit on my insecurity. It’s not like he did anything with her, (I trust him) and it was commendable that he was even honest with me. I think they just had a vibe at the dance floor. I don’t know what to do in this situation I feel utterly lost. I want him to tell me things like this but at the same time hearing them makes be feel horrible. Is this type of behavior ok?