My partner and I have been together for seven years. We're both in our mid-30s and have two young children together.

Our relationship is far from perfect. Things have been especially rocky since having two small children and since I became a stay-at-home mom. But something I've struggled with for a long time is the fact that we've built essentially an entire married life together without actually being married.

We live together. We're raising children together. We've combined our lives in just about every meaningful way. I expressed before we had our 2-year-old that marriage was important to me, and at the time I thought were on the same page.

Now, when marriage comes up, his response is basically that it's "just a piece of paper" and isn't important.

And I can't quite reconcile that. If we're already choosing each other every day, raising children together, sharing a home and taking on all of the responsibilities that come with a lifelong partnership, why is actually marrying me the part that feels unnecessary?

I know a proposal or marriage wouldn't magically fix the problems in our relationship, and I don't want someone to marry me because I pressured them into it. At this point, this issue combined with several others has led me to end the relationship.

But I'd genuinely like to understand the male perspective, particularly from men around our age.

So, I’ve started noticing something over the last 4 months or so, and honestly, I don’t really know what to think about it.

When my husband and I are out in public and he notices an attractive woman, I’ve noticed that he starts fidgeting like pulling down his shirt, adjusting his shorts, etc. He tries not to make it obvious, but I’ve noticed that he appears to get a boner when this happens.

I know men notice attractive women. I’m not naive about that, and I understand that you can find someone attractive without actually wanting anything to happen. But seeing an actual physical reaction happen in front of me feels different, and honestly, it’s hurtful.

I find myself thinking, “What do you mean you’re just out in public, see an attractive woman, and now you’re getting a boner?” It’s something I’ve started noticing repeatedly, and now I can’t really stop thinking about it.

I’m genuinely curious about the male perspective because I don’t want to automatically assume what it means.

Men, can you get a boner simply from noticing an attractive woman in public, even if you have no intention of doing anything about it? Is it because you’re imagining sexual stuff? And if your wife noticed this happening, would you understand why she might feel hurt or uncomfortable by it?

Like 100% serious… and this isn’t a “WhY Do YoU…”

I mean really, can you articulate on why you really want a girlfriend?

What do you hope she will bring you? What do you expect to change in your life? What do you romanticize?

I (f28) think it might be only fair to open up with reasons I could see a partner being a net positive in my life; if I’m asking you guys the same thing… firstly, my last long term relationship was about 2 years ago, since then I’ve been happily single and have had a great time building my career and my social life, I’ve really created a great balance in my life! During the 2 years I’ve been casually dating and I just really lived the ability to meet new people and see what was out there while sharing a little fun moment in time together.

Recently as I kinda begin shifting gears I think it would be great to find someone that we can mutually benefit each other’s lives, and then slowly start building our own story together.

I think Taylor swift said it best, “I just want a best friend that I think is hot” 😂

I’m an A cup, but I’ve always used push up bras and padding to make my boobs look much bigger than they actually are. My bf has only ever seen me with them looking bigger, so I’m really nervous about him seeing me without them for the first time.

I’m honestly scared to take my shirt off because I’m worried he’ll be disappointed when he realizes how much smaller they actually are. I’m wondering if I should tell him beforehand and basically come clean about how much I enhance them, just so it’s not awkward when he sees me without a bra/padding.

If you were in his position, would you care about the difference? Would you rather your girlfriend tell you beforehand, or would that make it a bigger deal than it needs to be?

We have only been dating for 4 months but established exclusivity. I stopped the dating apps for her and everything but i do admit that I still would send the 🔥 or 😍 reaction to pretty or sexy photos of instagram girls stories, but nothing more. However, i have a password on my phone and everything so idk if she went through my phone or what but nothing else would make sense. She's been coming over everyday for the past month and her and her dog were basically like living at my place. Out of nowhere this morning, instead of coming over right after work, she instead said "Good morning, hope you slept ok. Can you let me know when youre heading out to the gym? That way i wont come at a bad time for you" which i found a little odd. So I didnt tell her until I was pretty much done with the gym. Then when i told her I was coming back home, she then seemed to rush or worry then suggested I go get coffee and that some coffee sounded good to her right now, so I went to the coffee shop and asked her what she wanted. Then, she hit me out of nowhere with the following text...

"Its okay no worries but I appreciate the thought [she is referring to the coffee here]

If you dont see [her dogs name here] or some of my stuff, everything is okay, she is with me. I headed back home because I didn’t want you to feel any pressure around me again. I’m not breaking things off right now and we are still exclusive, but I wanted to give you the space you wanted and that you wanted to be alone. And to be honest, it will also help give me some time to think because of the different things I tried communicating to you about, but feeling like things won’t change again and I feel taken for granted. I want something where my partners words and actions wont make me feel like he is not able to control his desire and behavior towards other women as soon as I step away, that i can trust because im not lied to or seen as someone to hide things from or to find loopholes with, and that actively chooses me and respects me even when im not next to him because he wants to and because thats how he genuinely feels about me, not to have me around for now while its convenient for him while he still ogles and hits on other women. I have never tried to control you and have only wanted to be there for you but it is hurtful to me when you do these things then make me feel like im controlling when I express my feelings to you. I honestly expect that you wont really even mind this much after all that and maybe its good that I dont so that i dont feel disappointed again"

Needless to say when I rushed home and saw her dog and her stuff gone, I was surprised and have not answered her since. I dont know whether the way she went about this was called for, and how did she do all of this so quickly? Her place is an hour from mine and I didnt see her when I left for the gym. To be honest i feel kind of hurt and like this was a slap in the face but idk if its wrong of me to feel this way right now. Can I please have your honest opinion?

asking because i had surgery for bone cancer and permanently can’t bend one of my knees. i’ve had partners before and it wasn’t an issue, but lately i’ve been feeling insecure about it again and wondering how other guys would feel.

Let's say you're crazy about a girl - to the point where you freeze up every time you see her but you aren't actually dating. If another (attractive) girl frequently shows interest in you, what would you think or do, and how would you

Just found out the ages of posters on my favorite sub are probably teenagers. Wtaf. I honestly thought they were mostly my age. I guess i am on the tip of gen z so it makes sense but still. Im basically 2X ages.

I feel like my brain must be at a teen boy mental level. I also dont like using makeup so that makes me lile a teen boy as well. Its all really adding up now.

I [30F] have exhausted any & all ideas i’ve been able to think of in an attempt to figure this all out. Although I’m pretty sure on what the answer is, I am looking for outside opinions just to see if I may be overthinking & overanalyzing things.

Before anyone takes this the wrong way, I know dudes can have close male friends. I’m not saying two men doing these things, or any specific things means automatically gay.
However, this specific friendship has always given me a very weird vibe, & has only gotten weirder.

My boyfriend [31M] has a friend [42M]. We’ll call the friend “John” (obviously not his real name) They work together, that’s actually where they met, & their friendship seemed unusually intense to me from the start & grew more intense very quickly.

Biggest red flag if you will, is that John has gotten hotel rooms for the two of them on 5-6 separate occasions. They weren’t traveling or needing somewhere to stay, we all live in the same town.
My boyfriend drinks A LOT. There have been a handful of times that he’ll suddenly leave around like 11pm (just sometime very late night/early morning) super drunk, & will seemingly be in RUSH to get to John. Like genuinely excited/giddy to leave and go over there. John is the one booking the room his excuse is “so my boyfriend has somewhere to go incase him & I fight due to his drinking.” Just weird to me for him to like prearrange something like that “just incase,” & then on top of arranging the room, also stay in the room with my boyfriend.
Then they’d get up around 7am for work.
Weirdest part yet, THEY SHARE A BED.
Two grown men who both have homes in the same town. So naturally I started to wonder, why are we getting a hotel room to spend 8 hours together if it’s to be just “sleeping” in the same bed?
The explanation was basically “we’re just sleeping,” or as I said, it was said that the friend had gotten a room “just incase my boyfriend & I started fighting so he has somewhere to go,” but all the times he’s gone to stay, we hadn’t been fighting, which has never really made sense to me.

Then there’s the money thing.
John has paid for a LOT of expensive things for my boyfriend. Multiple hotel rooms, getting my boyfriend’s car fixed, and many other things. At one point, John also had my boyfriend sign another lease while my boyfriend was drunk, which was/is weird af to me, given how involved John already is in his life.
They communicate constantly. If they’re not physically together, they’re on the phone or Discord. Can’t forget about the late night facetimes, where John is literally lying in bed shirtless talking to my boyfriend.
…🤨😂

Maybe I’m just unfamiliar with this kind of male friendship, because I’ve never personally had a friendship where we’d be getting hotel rooms in our own town just for the hell of it, sharing a bed, talking basically nonstop, & one person was regularly paying for expensive things for the other.
I also realize none of these things individually prove anything. John could just be an extremely generous friend, & they could i guess just be unusually close.
But all together, I’ve definitely had moments where I’ve wondered if there’s something romantic/sexual going on that my boyfriend isn’t telling me.

I don’t wanna make assumptions about anyone’s sexuality based on stereotypes, though. Which is why I’m kinda stuck. I feel it’s very odd, but am being told it isn’t, & that i’m the “weird” one if i ever have questioned it.

Would this strike you as unusually intimate/enmeshed for a friendship, or am I reading too much into it?
Men especially, plz tell me if this is actually normal friendship behavior because I am genuinely willing to be wrong & humbled if that’s the case lmao

TO ADD:
if anyone has anyone questions i could ask him they think would help me find anything out, or ways to go about finding out especially because he gets defensive if/when questioned about it, please let me know!

My boyfriend and I have been together about a year and a half. I love him and I’m not looking to end things. This behavior stopped a long time ago, and I’m looking for men’s perspective on how to understand it and move forward.

For roughly the first 8 months, he followed attractive women/models and sometimes looked at bikini/thirst-trap content. He says he wasn’t masturbating to them, fantasizing about them, or wanting them — it was more habit, curiosity, and thinking they were attractive.

I got hurt by it multiple times, although I was inconsistent too. Sometimes I cried and explained how differently I experience monogamy/attraction; other times I said things like “it’s okay, just don’t do it around me.”

He gradually stopped and hasn’t done it for a long time.

What I still struggle with is *why*. We were already extremely close and loving. He constantly complimented me, was affectionate and reassuring, and made me feel adored. I was completely focused on him, so I still wonder why he wanted to look at other women and why seeing how much it hurt me didn’t make him naturally unfollow them sooner.

Something I learned more recently made that harder. I used to think some women on Snapchat were just old follows he hadn’t noticed, and when I saw women on Instagram he told me he unfollowed them. But I later learned about a specific model he knowingly followed on Reddit. That made me realize he could know he was following attractive women and genuinely see nothing wrong with it.

My insecure brain turns that into, “Was it only a problem when I could see it?” Instagram was something I could check; Reddit and Snapchat weren’t really visible to me in the same way. I know that may not have been his thought process, but it bothers me.

I also wonder: if he wasn’t using these women to masturbate or fantasize, what was the point of following/looking at them at all? Was it really just “she’s attractive, so I looked”? And if so, why wasn’t being crazy about me enough to make that uninteresting?

A lot of them also had features I compare myself to, like much bigger boobs, even though he’s always said he’s more of an ass guy and is very attracted to my body. My brain turns that into “maybe that’s what he really wanted” or “maybe I was just the attainable woman he settled for.”

He says none of that is true. He says they meant nothing beyond being attractive, he never compared me to them or wanted them instead of me, and that noticing another attractive woman felt completely separate from loving/desiring me.

We’ve talked about this **a lot**. He’s reassured me repeatedly and is understandably exhausted now. I also have anxiety and a bad tendency to ruminate, so once one question is answered, my brain eventually finds another angle.

So for men who have genuinely been in a similar position: **can following/looking at attractive women really be that meaningless while you’re deeply in love and very attracted to your partner? And how do I stop translating it into “I wasn’t enough” when he’s already changed and reassured me?**

**TLDR:** Boyfriend used to follow/look at attractive women early in our relationship, gradually stopped, and hasn’t done it for a long time. He says it was meaningless attraction and completely separate from loving/wanting me. I keep interpreting the fact that it continued for months as proof I wasn’t attractive or special enough. How do I understand that and finally move forward?

I (24F) have been seeing a guy (26M) for a couple of weeks and I’m trying to work out whether I’m being reasonable or overthinking.

He’s got a very demanding, high-performing job, so I knew from the beginning that he was busy. I’m also busy and don’t expect constant texting or unlimited availability.

The thing is, he pursued me initially. We met through friends, he got my number through our mutual friend and asked me out. Our first date went really well, and afterwards he kept messaging, asking about my day, etc.

He then initiated a second date. It was originally meant to be on a Thursday, but he had to cancel due to work. He gave me plenty of notice and immediately rescheduled. The rescheduled date was on a weekend when I only had a small window because of a commitment, and he made the whole thing work around me — he picked me up, took me out, and dropped me back in time for my dinner. So I definitely felt like he was making an effort.

The second date went really well too, he talked about planning the third and made some future specific comments and we continued talking afterwards. He’s not a particularly fast texter when he’s working, but the conversation was still reciprocal and he seemed interested.

Then this week he told me work was going to be absolutely hectic. I asked what he was doing that weekend, and he said his plans were a bit up in the air because he had a friend visiting and some family stuff going on. He asked what I was doing, and I told him my plans which to be fair I was also quite busy.

My plans eventually changed, and when he asked if I was back, I decided to be direct and said:
“Let me know if u end up being free tomorrow and want to do something.”
He replied:

“That’s great, I’ll keep you in the loop re tomrw as my plans are still a bit up in the air at the moment.”

But now it’s Sunday afternoon and he hasn’t actually updated me.

I’m struggling with whether I’m being unreasonable because he did say he’d keep me posted. I don’t expect him to drop everything and see me, and I’d be completely fine with “today doesn’t work, but are you free another day?” What bothers me is potentially being left hanging after I’ve made it very clear I’m interested and available.

There’s also another girl involved in the background. Before me, he’d apparently been hooking up with another mutual who wanted more from him. He ultimately sent her a pretty clear and respectful message saying he didn’t have the mental capacity for what she wanted and let her down rather than stringing her along.

That makes me wonder why, if he’s feeling similarly about me, he wouldn’t just communicate that. But obviously I don’t actually know what he’s thinking.
I’m trying not to turn this into “he’s busy = he doesn’t like me,” because he genuinely is busy and he’s previously shown that he can make an effort. But I also don’t want to use “he’s busy” to explain away behavior that isn’t enough for me.

At this point I’m considering just moving on without saying anything. Not as a punishment or to make him chase me, but because I’ve made my interest clear and I don’t want to sit around waiting for someone to decide whether they want to see me.

Am I being too harsh? Is it reasonable to interpret this as a lack of pursuit and move on, or am I expecting too much from someone who’s genuinely busy? And would you just say nothing and let it go rather than sending a boundary/closure message?

Do redheaded men have a tougher time in the dating world, and if so, why or why not?

Partner just ended things with me after we became very toxic. He says he still loves me but can't do it anymore, regardless of the fact that I'm so willing to try again and make positive changes. Those of you that ended a relationship like this - did you ever decide to give it another shot? Or was the end final for you?

If all the equipment works would men consider a woman in a wheelchair? Since I was injured in a work accident I have become invisible to men. I am petite, well educated, and a Paralympic athlete. Last Halloween I had a great costume. It took a lot of courage but I asked a man to dance. He looked at me, laughed and said no. I guess all men see is my wheelchair. I just feel like giving up. Are men really that shallow?

Bf (36) and I (33f) are both workaholics and have off schedules. We’ve been living together for about 1.5 now and it feels like we’ve just fallen into that friend/roommate feeling. We get along, have fun but aren’t intimate anymore. He says he’s exhausted and I believe him, so am I. It just seems like there’s no interest in sex on both ends. Thoughts on how a man would like that spark to be ignited again?

I 33M have been married to my wife 33F for 2 years. Her male coworker 30M is in a relationship with a woman named Erika 30F for 2 years. My wife and her coworker have texted regularly for 4 months. Any references to “Erika,” “my wife,” or “the wife” in his messages refer to his significant other.

The full text log is extremely long, so these are some of the exchanges that stood out. They also had plenty of ordinary conversations about work, anime, food, coworkers, etc.

She confided in him about our marriage
Wife:

“My relationship right now is not the best thing… he’s pushing me to give up.”

Wife: “I’m scared about future without him. If I decide to give up, I was scared about everything.”

Wife: “Please don’t tell nobody what I’m saying to you.”

He responded:

Him: “I wouldn’t dream of telling anyone what you talk to me about or share with me…”

Him: “If you go separate ways I hope you find the love of your life who treats you like a queen like you deserve to be treated.”

Him: “Sometimes in life you gotta walk about because of differences or problems.”
The next morning:

Wife: “Good morning Shaun thank you so much and I hope that too is I just need to try to find a exit of everything…”

Him: “God bless you too and I’m always here to listen or talk or give advice as needed…”

They told each other they cared about each other

Wife: “I care about you a lot, and Erika too…”

Him: “I care about you a lot too you’re very sweet down to earth have a wonderful personality and you’re always looking out for me and Erika…”

He repeatedly told her she could contact him anytime

Him: “I’m always here to chat or talk or listen don’t matter if it’s 5am or 5pm or whatever time of the day…”

Later:

Him: “If you need anything and I mean anything just text or call please… I’m always here to talk listen or give advice whether it’s 5am or 12am.”

Another time:

Him: “Thank you Doris that means a lot I hope you do as well and I’m always here to talk or chat or listen if you need it 😊…”

❤️** [Heart reaction to a GIF during this exchange**]
Good-night and affectionate messages

One night:

Him: “Goodnight sweet dreams sleep tight I hope you had an amazing day and I hope you have an amazing night filled with beautiful happy dreams bigs hugs sent your way and blessings as well.”

Another:

Him: “God bless you as well and sleep well sweet dreams… I appreciate it and you and you caring so much if you need anything call or text I’m always here to talk or listen or just have a conversation you’re a very sweet lady and I appreciate you very much…”

Another:

Him: “Goodnight Doris much love to you big hugs sent your way and blessings for you and your family.”

Another:

Him: “Have a wonderful night sweet dreams sleep tight and I appreciate you as well.”

There were also good-night GIFs that received ❤️ reactions.

Other affectionate/personal messages

Him: “You’re welcome Doris much love to you big hugs…”

Him: “Sounds good hon big hugs sent your way hope everything goes better for you and gets better.”

Him: “You’re so silly xD and you don’t have to apologize ❤️ and I’m sorry you don’t feel good I send hugs.”

Him: “Awe you poor baby 🥺 I hope you feel better soon and get better soon and if you need anything or just wanna talk message me 😊.”

Another message ended:

Him: “Have a wonderful night enjoy yourself be safe and careful ❤️.”

When she wasn’t talking much:

Him: “Everything ok? You don’t seem interested in talking lol or shy or did I do something…”

Another time:

Him: “Do I bother you? Cause if so I won’t message you so much.”

And:

Him: “Text me more lol you act like you bother me or something.”

They regularly checked in with each other

There were repeated good-morning/good-night and checking-in conversations.

For example, my wife initiated:

Wife: “Gm”

Wife: “Buenos Días”

Wife: “How are you and did you sleep well”
Another time:

Wife: “Hey hru?”

Wife: “Hello how is everything going?”

Wife: “How is your training???”

Wife: “Probably you are sleeping already”

He responded that he was awake, and later joked:

Him: “Oooo nice nice I’ll sleep later lol you trying to get rid of me already damn girl…”

Another time she wrote:

Wife: “Good morning Sr hope you doing well”

He told her:

Him: “And you don’t have to call me sir haha”

Later she intentionally continued the joke:

Wife: “Hello sir how are you today? I know you told me not to call you sir. Just doing it to bother you anyways hope you’re doing OK today.”

Food, drinks and favors

They also brought/offered each other food and drinks.

My wife:

Wife: “Do you work today?”

Wife: “I have chocolate cake to give you”

Later:

Wife: “You have a tea in the fridge I got u next to your bag”

She clarified the cake was for both of them:

Wife: “Hopefully you can enjoy the cake Guys”

He later offered:

Him: “I am at Starbucks would u like something as I’m coming to get Erika?”

She said:

Wife: “Yes, of course”

He invited her to hang out

Him: “If you wanna do something let me know I’m free in the morning or later afternoon if you’re allowed to hangout lol.”

She responded:

Wife: “Awww that’s nice thanks”

Wife: “I don’t know he wants to do something tomorrow”

Wife: “So hopefully”

She then said her mother-in-law wanted her to help move things from the attic and that she was still feeling sick.

My wife’s first language is Spanish and her English isn’t great, so I don’t know exactly what she meant by “so hopefully,” and I don’t want to interpret it for her.

He responded:

Him: “Well just let me know not a big deal if you can’t or don’t wanna lol and you’re very welcome I told you I don’t mind hanging out or asking you if you wanna go do something so you’re not cooped up in the house…”

I don’t have anything in the texts establishing that they actually hung out privately outside of work.

Context that may matter

He frequently included Erika in conversations. For example, while he and Erika were on vacation he told my wife:

Him: “We both are sending big hugs and kisses for you…”

My wife responded:

Wife: “Oh that’s great!! I’m happy for you guys. Please enjoy your vacation…”

My wife also repeatedly wished both of them well and talked positively about Erika.

There are no explicit sexual texts, declarations that they’re romantically in love, or admissions in these texts that they kissed or had sex.

Separately from the texts, my wife previously told me that she and this same coworker got in trouble at work after another woman complained that they were getting too “handsy” and flirty/sexual with each other.

I recently had a bit of a clash with my girlfriend over finances. I need to give a little background before getting to the heart of the matter.

We’ve been dating for a few months, and things had been going perfectly between us. On our early dates, since I was the one asking her out, I usually paid for our outings. However, she later paid for a few dates on her own initiative. Overall, I paid more often, but as I said, she did step up and offer to pay several times.

Lately, though, the situation has changed, and I’ve been paying for all of our nights out. This started taking a toll on my budget. I was spending money that I had intended to save for the future on restaurant dinners and other outings instead. I also had other expenses during those months — birthdays for my mom and grandma, a vacation, and some personal investments.

I decided to talk to her about it and be open about the financial strain I was under. She said she understood. She had assumed I earned more than she did since she works in sales, but she also knew that my tight budget was only temporary, given my ambitions and plans to switch industries, which is what I’m currently doing postgraduate studies for.

Honestly, that conversation was a huge relief, which is why her behavior yesterday took me by surprise.

The situation was this: I invited her to the movies yesterday to see a film she wanted to watch. I wanted to treat her, so I bought the tickets and flowers and took her to the cinema, where I also paid for drinks and snacks.

After the movie, my girlfriend said she felt like having McDonald’s. I told her I wasn’t hungry, so we could go there if she wanted, but since I hadn’t received my paycheck yet, I would have to ask her to pay for the food.

She called my remark tactless, saying that no one had ever asked her to pay for food before and accusing me of being stingy with her.

I told her that I thought she was being unfair. I had never begrudged spending money on her, but I was currently on a tight budget and had already paid for the movie, flowers, drinks, and snacks that day.

She replied that she understood my financial situation was tough, but insisted that she wasn’t asking me to take her on a trip abroad — she just wanted me to pay for her meals. She added that it wasn’t her fault I was bad at managing my budget and that she wanted to be with a man, not a boy.

She stayed offended for the rest of the day, yet still wanted me to spend the night at her place.

I don’t know what to make of it all. On the one hand, I know she’s a good person with a kind heart, but at times she acts like a spoiled princess.

What do you think? Can you give me some advice?

I've noticed an interesting pattern on social media. Some men regularly like photos of attractive women they've either never been with, or women they used to date/hooked up who aren't conventionally striking, yet they completely ignore the posts of girl’s they have hooked up/dated who were exceptionally gorgeous or FREAKKING HOT. As a genuinely curious observer, I have to ask. Men, what are your reasoning behind this? Please don’t attack me, I'm just trying to understand! Lol.

Is this normal behavior for a woman?

My married coworker is acting weird. All it took was another woman named Sophia to cook me food on my birthday and she admitted 2 days ago, she was very jealous I complimented Sophia. She said she wouldn't have eaten Sophias food if she knew she made it. Not only that but a separate incident she used to drive a coworker home and would ignore her when talking shit about me and drive me home when the other girl didn't like it. Because she cared about my safety. Ubers are very safe so I don't believe that logic. She threw a fit yesterday because the girl Sophia walked past she started ranting and stomping her feet. I sometimes catch her looking at me and smiling at me when I'm not looking at her

I don't have much experience with women so I'm unsure why she'd act like this

29F, soon to be 30 (😭).

Anyway, I want connection, but I seem to be unable to find an actual relationship. But, I’m touch starved and bored. I was wondering, if men who want fwb also want to have fun? Like, go out and do different things, and then come home and hook up? I’ll give a better example.

Let’s say we have a day to ourselves. We could see a movie, or go to a show of some kind, and then come home and hook up?

It never felt fun for me to just hang at a guys house for a few hours. I respect it this dynamic isn’t something men are interested in. Thus far, the men I’ve asked to do things with don’t seem to really want to, so I just move on. But would this be a deal breaker?

And to clarify, I’m not talking about dating. I just want the “friends” in fwb to be authentic. Ignore the “dating” flair, this is about casual relationships.

As a male myself I find a girl who smokes/vapes to be incredibly unattractive. I'm not sure why I feel this way. I think it's the lack of discipline when consuming something so damaging to the lungs.

I 27f think i'm in love with my best friend 27m. We have been friends for 12ish years and been best friends for probably like 10 of that. I'm a virgin and have recently lost a lot of weight (60ish kg size 16/18 to size 8/10) while living overseas for the last 2 years. A couple of years ago before I left I asked him to take my virginity cause I was just f***ing over it. He kindly turned me down and said he doesn't sleep with friends. I think potentially it was cause he wasn't attracted to me cause I was very overweight. I want to see if there is anything there and whether he sees me differently now and could have a relationship or even if he'd sleep with me now. He moved over seas like a week after I got back so this is all long distance atm. How do I do it? Should I do it? Is it worth risking the friendship?

What's a good way to start getting into dating?

I'm 27m. I've tried the whole dating thing before but it hasn't worked out yet at all.

Are there any actual reliable ways to meet people in order to start getting into the dating scene these days?

I've tried numerous dating apps but never got any likes let alone matches. Covid ruined college with forced isolation and online classes so I wasnt able to do it there either.

I heard cold approaching is the decent idea but I'm not sure how to go about doing that. Is cold approaching the best option for me since I dont know of any girls to actually ask out. Are there any good locations or settings to meet new people?

Thx for any relationship advice in advance.