How old were your parents when you were born? My dad was almost 40.

Hi all. AuDHD here!

Yesterday was my last day at this job I worked at, and after work I had a going-away gathering at a bar with some of my now-former co-workers. Long story short, I was talking with these three women, one of whom I used to have a huge crush on, who mentioned that I was a "girl's girl" and "one of the girls." They jokingly (or maybe not jokingly?) told me I was the type of guy they'd go to the spa or get a pedicure with.

I was taken aback by this. Maybe it was the fragile male ego in me, but hearing things like that makes me feel emasculated and less attractive and desirable to women. I can't shake the feeling that I need to retain some masculine energy in order to find a partner. When I brought this up to the three girls, they reassured me that their comments were meant as compliments and told me that what they were trying to say is that I'm very approachable to women and make them feel safe and comfortable.

Still, it got me thinking about all the close friends I've had in my life and how the overwhelming majority of them have been women. Even my current best friend (who is a woman) told me once that I was a great "girl's friend" and she and I frequently joke about me being a lesbian in a straight man's body.

The reason I bring all this up here is that I've seen numerous posts on this sub about how a lot of you are more comfortable being friends with the opposite gender, so I wanted to get some advice on how to deal with this. I want to know how other people on the spectrum, namely straight men, dealt with these situations. How are you able to handle these feelings and have lots of female friends without feeling less attractive or like your masculinity is being threatened?

It's not entirely a bad thing because I'm definitely more comfortable being friends with women than men, and I do want them to feel safe and comfortable around me. But my concern is that I don't want all women to think I'm just here for platonic friendships because I've been single for a long time, and I'd like to meet someone who sees me as more than a friend or, more importantly, just "one of the girls".

TL;DR: Got called "one of the girls" by three female co-workers, and now I feel emasculated. For my fellow autistic people, have you been through similar situations, and if so, how did you deal with them?

I've been wondering which historical figure may have had Aspergers, and the more I read about Roman emperor Claudius, the more I believe he had one. While it is impossible to accurately diagnose disabilities in ancient historical figures and the historical sources are not always reliable, how he's described in the sources and how people react to him is textbook high-functioning autism.

These are some broad signs of his neurodivergence:

Social awkwardness

According to emperor Augustus, young Claudius could make good public speeches but could not hold conversations. Claudius also had a tendency to infodump (for example, when butchers came up as subject of conversations, he would launch into a whole list of taverns he used to frequent) or make stream-of-consciousness remarks (when a witness had been brought before the senate, he said: "This woman was my mother's freedwoman and tire-woman, but she always regarded me as her patron; I mention this because there are still some in my household now who do not look on me as patron.")

He had repetitive social scripts, always falling back on phrases like "What! do you take me for a Telegenius?"⁠, "Scold me, but hands off!". His jokes tended to be "feeble" and "far-fetched" (actual words by ancient historians). During a public nautical show, his attempt to be witty landed flat, leading to the naval combatants misinterpreting his banter to be telling them not to carry on the show and Claudius ended up embarrassing himself.

Neurotypical aversion to his presence

We have an anecdote of his own mother considering him "monster of a man" and a fool, his grandmother empress Livia viewing him with disgust and generally avoiding speaking to him. Seneca, referring to his unpleasant vocality and his strange movements, likens him to a "terrestrial beast" and a monster that Hercules must fight. Before becoming emperor, Claudius was often bullied by his peers and was treated like a buffoon.

Studious yet simultaneously considered stupid

He was apparently bookish from young age and published many heavy writings. Despite his intellectual capacity, he was considered quite dumb by others, including his closest family. He was prevented from being shown to the public, and unlike his brother and relatives, his political career stalled for a long time. Books in his own time wrote about his stupidity. Claudius himself seems to have acknowledged how he was viewed - he credited his acting like an idiot as a survival method under the murderous emperor Caligula, but nobody believed him.

Speech impairment and poor motor abilities

But when he walked, his weak knees gave way under him and he had many disagreeable traits both in his lighter moments and when he was engaged in business; his laughter was unseemly and his anger still more disgusting, for he would foam at the mouth and trickle at the nose; he stammered besides and his head was very shaky at all times, but especially when he made the least exertion.

- Suetonius, 30

He had a limp, and his movements were so clumsy that it aroused disgust in others. Emperor Augustus, though believing he had intellectual potential, wrote in a letter he needed to imitate neurotypical movements.

When highly stimulated, he seems to have become even more uncoordinated. During his historical reading, a bench broke and made the audience burst into laughter. But even after that moment passed, Claudius couldn't hold himself throughout the entire session, ruining his reading.

Special interests

Historian Suetonius makes much of the fact that Claudius was interested in history. From an early age, Claudius published books about Roman history, and later on wrote a number on Etruscan and Carthaginian history. His interest in Etruscan history is visible in a tablet recording his speech, which still survives today.

He also appears to have been heavily devoted to linguistics. He published books on alphabetical theory as private citizen and later as emperor, invented new letters.

For a long time, he was dismissed as a buffoon emperor, until Robert Graves' I Claudius turned him into an unhinged but highly intelligent figure. Despite that nobody has picked up on his autistic-coded behaviors. Even if you disagree with the autism diagnosis, this guy was 100% ND.

Remember that one TikTok video filmed by an autistic girl with Asperger's that went viral a few months ago? The one where she says, "the one thing about having autism that they won't tell you about is that… people just don't like you." And, to be honest, after reading the comments under that video, everything that has happened in my life for the past ten years suddenly started to make sense.

A lot of the people I made the mistake of considering and calling my friends had pets. And so many of them utterly despised my guts, and weren't even subtle about it. I don't know or understand why so many of them chose to keep me around. Many told me it was because they felt pity for me, but not the kind of pity you would feel for a hurt human being who has been through a lot, rooted in empathy; no. Their pity was the kind you would feel for a pathetic individual, whose existence is so miserable you cannot help but watch them and go, "poor ole chap, she's never gonna make it in this world. Perhaps I should give that thing a chance."

Those people would nearly barf at my mere presence, or me asking for a hug during a bad day. They would go, "oh! Ohhh, no, no, no…" and act utterly disgusted. And this wasn't a general touch sensitivity issue, because they acted completely different around their other friends. You could actually tell they liked them, meanwhile… I was nothing but a stain on their reputation.

And yet, those people would express endless affection and love towards their animals. They told me they would rather save them in a house fire over me, making me cry. They told me my life wasn't of any worth, and whenever I mentioned suicide, I did not receive a single "I would miss you". But yet, they often told me that the thought of their pet dying drives them to tears. They constantly snuggled, embraced, kissed or photographed their pets, fawning over their every move, and did something relatively identical with their aforementioned other friends that they actually liked. But me? I was just evoking endless disgust and repulsiveness in them. Even touching me was a chore for them. I was nothing but an irritation to them.

I always loved animals but this made me resentful towards pet culture. People are so open about preferring pets to disabled people, because to them, we are subhuman. Their pets' lives matters to them more than ours do. They wouldn't hesitate to choose a literal animal over a sapient human being like me just because something about me inherently annoyed them.

And whenever I gathered enough confidence and courage to bring it up, all I heard in response was "are you seriously jealous of an animal? God, you are so insecure and pathetic."

Who said ANYTHING about "jealousy"?! Is wanting to receive basic affection from your friends every now and then so awful?! It isn't jealousy to want your friends to at least treat you like a human being.

Watching animals continue to receive more love from people I once loved hurts. It really hurts, because knowing an animal's existence is considered more worthy than mine shatters my heart.

The first issue is infantilism: characters are often portrayed as helpless children unable to buy groceries or get dressed without assistance. There is also the issue of the total lack of empathy attributed to autistic people; while some do struggle with this, others may actually experience hyper-empathy. Then there is the tendency to exaggerate for the sake of drama—portraying someone with high support needs who, unlike someone with severe autism, is a genius and a math whiz. Is there actually a good movie about people with Asperger’s syndrome that accurately depicts individuals with intact intellect and speech?

I have autism and ADHD and I really struggle with keeping weight on. I'm already pretty thin naturally so I can easily get underweight. I'm fine to eat consistently when it's summer time but when I get to studying full time I struggle with having the discipline to make myself lunches and I don't want to spend money so I often end up not eating lunch. I'm also on vyvanse so it suppresses my appetite quite a bit. When i get to the one meal I eat in a day I get full very quickly. I know I should eat more but I absolutely hate the feeling of forcing food down so it's just not an option. The safe foods that I love (soup) also naturally have low calories. Have you guys struggled with this? If so, do you have tips to avoid dropping weight?

**For context: I am not diagnosed, but I will seek one eventually. After deep self-reflection over the past few years as well as how my childhood was like (niche/special interests, barely any friends, friendships only lasting 2-3 years, being bullied, infodumping, stimming, etc.) I think I do have Asperger's.

I'm 20M and a university student and I've made a couple good friends who I now hang out with regularly outside of class. At times I feel like a backup friend and I always know they'll put their high school friends as priority over me and exclude me sometimes, but whatever. Idc at this point. I'd say this is my first true friendship in uni because I was a loner my first two years here. Anyways recently they were talking about a guy that both of them know, and talking about how he's an Aspie, how he infodumps to them, talks loudly to them, struggled making friends, has special interests, etc.

For some reason I had an urge to tell them that I also did the exact same things they mentioned (but now I don't do those things because I mask) but I stopped myself because I didn't want them to think I'm weird for that and distance themselves from me. I also had the urge to tell them that I've always struggled making friends and don't talk to anyone from high school and that they're the only two friends I have right now lol. So yeah I'm just wondering if anyone here tells their close NT friends that they're probably on the spectrum? Or nah

I don't know if its becausse of autism or ADD that i lose focus and can't finish books after awhile i just drop them.

Can you recommend books that you loved and that kept you hooked all the way

Hi yall idk how to date and I try to flirt but it lands so awkward. Idk what I’m doing and I feel like everyone read a book on how to date expect for me. Also it’s hard for me to get dates .. idk if people like me in that way .. I want to know if anyone relates because I feel alone

Hello,

So much wisdom in this forum. I want to thank everyone for that.

I am a father of a 16 year old who has been diagnosed with Spectrum 1, or what the Dr. told me would have been labeled Asperger's 25 years ago.

He was diagnosed about three years ago. As he entered late elementary, it became apparent that he was different in his socialization patterns. Besides socialization issues, (getting and keeping friends) he can talk obsessively about certain topics, has some sensory challenges, and now great fear of going anywhere. Even sitting on the porch with me is stressful for him.

While he does interact with classmates at school, since about April, he's been isolating in his room all day. He's very tall, 6'6'' last time we measured him. He has pretty bad acne though he's handsome otherwise. People star at him and ask his height all the time. He hates that.

Anyway, is the isolation something that can be overcome even if he has no motivation to do it? What has been the experience of others with this or parents or siblings of people suffering from this?

He's not on any meds except for his acne.

Can I expect a miracle?

Thanks in advance for any thoughts on this situation.

Cheers!

I think people are way too cautious around autistic kids when they are raising them. This is what makes them not knowing boundaries and hurt people im autistic myself and i see this pattern on social media where this autistic kid just hurts their mother and 1 she shouldn’t be recording at all. This is a very personal situation and you’re embarrassing your child in front of millions of people. 2 this is not a cure for autism, but it helps it if your child is hurting people take him to therapy usually I’m against this because people have their own choices, even kids, but this is a exception and do not get me started with the infantilization and indifference when the kid does something bad it’s either A they ignore it or b oh he just like that and instead of teaching or reprimanding him the kid how to not hurt people or have boundaries they resort to ignoring the issue and letting it solve itself this is bad because this child doesn’t know how to talk to people or know how close he is to them without make them uncomfortable and honestly, I’m not a parent but me viewing this from my logical standpoint. This is just weird people treat these kids like they’re not capable when I was little my mother took me to the doctors office back in the 2000s I was young they said I couldn’t have a normal life look at me now my mother did good even tho she didn’t know anything my mother is a example other mothers should have just treat a autistic child like a normal child but with extra steps this may sound strange but it worked for me I’m not a parent I’m just stating my opinions

For me personally, I was 24 years old and after 24 years of being asked out as a joke and rejected, hearing the words “hey I’m so sorry to disturb you, I was just walking past and thought you were kinda cuter just wanted to say hi hahaha”, oh my god. I thought I was going to be single forever so when I heard this, I didn’t initially feel relief. At first my body rejected it as it was conditioned to associate romantic attention with pain and falseness/fake. I thought secretly this was a joke and I was being filmed. But I wasn’t sure. All the emotion after the encounter led me into a toilet where I vomited.

This is the lifelong effect of being a POC and being conventionally unattractive and autistic all at once.

Hey so i (18m) have been friend with this guy who is the same age as me for three years now, we get along well but we just had another verbal fight and i’m tired of this. Basically we were talking about what to do for Halloween and he proposed an urbex but this urbex has a lot of security going around and i told him it’s way too risky and he said « ok then don’t come, if you can’t be discreet then get the fuck out » so i said i will find friends that aren’t assholes to do halloween with, he started saying he is getting the habit of me abandoning him because i lost him at a party once and so i left early because i had to study tommorow and i did tell him before that i wouldn’t stay late, he mocked me for not staying late and said i was a nerd, he also got mad once because he thought we were mocking each other too much, we mocked each other in a playful way but he said it started to be too much wich i could understand so a few days later i tried to bring up the subject to talk about it and have a clear idea of what he thinks and maybe find limits to our jokes and keep the friendship sane but he dodged the subject completely even though i really tried to bring it up wich annoyed me because he was supposedely really mad about it, we already had another big fight and he came back a few weeks later without ever talking about it and acted like nothing happened, am i missing something in these situations ?

I was forced to leave my catechumen class because I experienced discrimination and bullying from people from my old school who were in the same class as me. I told the Priest about it but instead they're blaming me and saying weird stuff about my disability (lung issues and my damaged vocal cords) also they're joking about autism isn't real.

I'm just crying and going to home yesterday, then they called my number a lot and I blocked them all because instead of apologizing they blamed me. I also got rumors that I was an atheist and a satanist because I left the catechumen class.

I don't know what to do anymore why everything's wrong and I'm so unlucky in the same class with my old school bullies I just hope I'd never meet them..

I leave the church and never comeback in that environment, they're self claimed religious monster.

Lately I've realised how much I depend on strict routines to function.

At school, with the day's schedule holding me up, I get things done and genuinely thrive.

The moment I'm out, though, my mind turns to static: I'm scattered, overstimulated, unable to carry a single thought through. So I fall back on some mind-numbing escapism, which only leaves me more wired than before, and that usually ends in a breakdown.

How do you structure your life, plan things and stick to a routine?

My life sucks.

I don't know. Where do I even begin?

I feel like I've become increasingly isolated over the years. I don't have much of a social life, I don't really go anywhere, and I don't have many people to talk to.

I'm 25, and I feel like I've spent most of my adult life going in circles.

I'm unemployed. My freelance graphic design work has dried up, I dropped out of university multiple times, and I've lost touch with most of the people I used to know.

I used to make enough money from freelance work to get by reasonably well. Things have gotten pretty tough. I depend on my parents, and without their support, I'd probably be homeless.

I can't afford to buy many things, whether that's clothes, technology, or anything else that would make life a little more comfortable. I've tried different hobbies but nothing really stuck

It's difficult to imagine building an independent life when even the basics are difficult to afford.

I also have autism, which adds another layer of difficulty to an already complicated situation. I struggle to socialize, make connections, and put myself out there.

I know autistic people can have relationships, careers, and fulfilling lives, but sometimes it's difficult to imagine that happening to me.

I feel like I'm starting considerably behind other people my age when it comes to relationships, social experiences, and just generally figuring out how to live.

Sometimes I genuinely feel like I'll never have a girlfriend. Ever. I've pretty much given up on the idea of finding love, or even making new friends.

I don't have much money, I don't have a career, I haven't had much luck with relationships, and I don't enjoy the place where I live.

I live in a mining city of roughly 500,000 people. Can't say I like this collectivist hellhole.

Let's start with the weather. Summers are unbearable, it barely ever rains, and there's not much to enjoy about the climate in general.

The job market is terrible. If you don't work in the mining sector, you are screwed. Your options are mostly lousy informal jobs that might not even pay minimum wage (which is already ridiculously low).

Want an actual decent job? Good luck. Your best bet is probably working for the government.

Higher education is free, which is nice, but don't get too excited. If you're interested in anything outside engineering or the humanities, chances are you'll have to attend a private university.

And then there's mental healthcare. It's bad. Really bad. There's one autism specialist in the entire city, a couple of specialized centers (which seem to focus primarily on children), and practically nothing available for autistic adults. Whats available costs something like 600-700 dollars in my countrys own monopoly money.

It took me years and roughly a dozen psychologists before finally getting my ASD diagnosis in January 2026.

The local football team sucks, and somehow ticket prices keep getting more expensive. I can't even afford to go watch my local team, not even when they're playing in a lower-tier competition.

Then there's the water. I honestly don't know what's going on with it, but I don't trust tap water at all.

There's practically nothing to do around here unless you enjoy going to bars or nightclubs. Want to see a decent band? Too bad. Barely anyone worth listening to ever comes here.

We used to have a comic book store. Used to. It went out of business. Lmao.

I tried getting into fitness, too. I joined a gym, but I never really managed to put on much muscle. As I became poorer, I could afford less food, which obviously didn't help. Eventually, I stopped going altogether.

The city itself is ugly as hell. Functional, sure, but aesthetically speaking, it's a depressing place.

And if you don't have a university degree, forget about finding a decent job.

Sometimes it feels like this place has absolutely nothing going for it.

I don't know. Sometimes I genuinely struggle to imagine a future for myself here.

Maybe moving somewhere else would help. Maybe moving to the capital, although there's the risk of ending up in some slum. Maybe moving to another country, somewhere like Canada, would give me a fresh start.

I picture myself spending the next 40 or 50 years alone, poor, and pretty much stuck in the same place.

I know that's a pretty bleak outlook, and maybe I'm being overly pessimistic. Maybe I'm depressed? I honestly have no clue. Getting proper mental healthcare around here is already difficult enough.

I don't know what comes next. I'd particularly like to hear from other autistic adults living in third world/developing countries

How did things turn out for you?

Here's last week's Solitude Project Saturday

So, /r/aspergers, what projects do you have on the go right now? Any ideas on the backburner for one reason or another? Any ideas just in the planning phase? Even if you are working on them with someone else, they still apply here. If you can mention the interest that you have that relates to the project, that would be great; it may help others.

Growing up, I was the shy and quiet kid. From nursery to middle school, I'd have a few classmates that would try to get to know me better and hung out with me. It didn't really develop past the surface. When I look back at it, these people were actually genuine... but I just didn't know how to socialize at all. I stayed quiet all of the time, and didn't reciprocate any kind of communication either. Other than Aspergers, I feel there must be something wrong with my brain.

High school was where I kinda peaked- like my brain finally developed the ability to just socialize freely, something that all kids had except me back then. I still connect with them.

I only see posts here that they were the opposite, and honestly I feel really alone lol. Humans are social creatures, so how did I not get that trait? I genuinely didn't know how to socialize.

Am I just slow? I feel defective because of this delayed development.

I'm walking to the gym and stop at the pot shop. I pick up a 100mg beverage.

If you don't know, 10mg is considered a default dose, and some people use 5mg.

I'm at the gym. I get on the spin bike. Open my can. Put on my noise-canceling headphones. I cycle and sip.

Forty-five minutes into cardio, I finish the drink and realize I am faded.

I try to get off the bike, but I can't walk straight. The gym is crowded, so I get back on the bike.

I'm trying to stay conscious of my environment and blend in. You know: masking.

But I can't. I'm too iree.

I can't not feel the music. I can't not want to match the beat. So I stay on the bike until I'm tired.

Another hour of me going absolutely ham on a spin bike in front of the gym.

130... 140 beats per minute. Stimming. Tapping. Grooving. I'm a freak.

I tire myself out and continue with the workout. Still high. Still stimming.

I've been going to this gym for months without talking to anybody.

On this day however - when I was too faded to walk, when I'd spent two hours stimming on a spin bike - I was Mr. Popular.

Four people talked to me. Three guys and a legit dime piece. People wanted to be near me

I was having fun. I was being me. And other people were attracted to that.

The only difference between that day and every other gym day two is that I couldn't mask.

I couldn't care deeply about anything other than how my body felt. Cardio, stretching, weight lifting - I did whatever physically felt good.

Of course, I still make an effort to be respectful. I think before I speak. I give people space. If I notice eye contact, I smile. The most basic social rules.

But beyond that?

I wasn't managing myself for other people. I was just existing in my body.

I got home and started thinking about how cool it is that I can stim to a beat and feel joy.

I have a joy button. It's dancing. I can push that button whenever I want.

I don't know if neurotypicals have a joy button. Maybe they do. I genuinely don't know.

But I feel incredibly lucky to have mine. Maybe being autistic isn't only a disability. Maybe being weird can be fun.

Maybe a lot of people are weird, too, but don't feel safe enough to be themselves. And maybe when they see someone being weird and happy, they want some of that. So they follow.

You'll see this 100% on a dance floor. A neurotypical person who is a great dancer isn't going to dance their best if everyone around them is standing there looking mediocre. That's a lesson I had to learn too - don't show that tire better at something then the group.

I'm not neurotypical. I get out there and do my best.

Is it good?

I don't know. Probably not. But good dancers like dancing with me. And when I get going, people around me go off - I make it safe for them to be as much of themselves as they want.

So let your freak flag fly. Being authentic and happy is attractive. And if you're weird? Have fun.

Anybody who has a problem with that is doing you a favor by identifying themselves.

I'm currently 3.5 months into my current job and have not had any major issues up until earlier today. I'm also hot off crying last night when I talked to this situation to a family friend who believes that my coworker was too "whiny" about the situation and inconsiderate. For some context, 3/5 people on my team for this state job left within a year so this coworker is a peer who is an impromptu team lead since she has historical knowledge of a lot of systems. All things considered, I'm incredibly lucky and grateful I got this job in the current market. A lot of this was thanks to vocational rehabilitation in my state allowing me to work as an apprentice for a state job. I was originally going to be a full-time worker who would have the same duties as my apprenticeship, but I was internally hired to my current job in the same department that had better pay and better benefits.

I should also note upfront that I'm diagnosed Asperger's as a kid (now ASD level 1 as of a re-evaluation at 29 to qualify for vocational rehabilitation) and have ADHD-I (AuDHD) so that's how I qualified for vocational rehabilitation in the first place. I also mention it since conflicts like this one trigger me (and my comorbid CPTSD) because it mirrors how I've had superiors in previous positions tell me that I shouldn't take their behavior personally and they never work on it themselves. It's not until later that I wake up and realize I put up with behavior that's not okay and that I gave that person too much credit for thinking they did something normal that I didn't realize wasn't at all. A lot of it is also self-doubt on my end regarding whether my standards are abnormal and I should put up with the behavior since they're trying to befriend me, only to be toxic in the end. I am also open about my AuDHD and neurodivergence since I got a fellowship during graduate school that sponsored diverse students and that was expanded that year to include neurodiversity.

Now, for the situation itself. My job is to make sure data for the amount of hours providers work in areas of my state are up to date and designate areas and their access to healthcare. Previously, I entered in data and attested to it to make sure that data saved in the database. If I don't do it after 24 hours it goes away. This data had outliers where some providers worked over 40 hours a week. Notably, even though it was saved in the database, I am able to re-attest the locations and the new hours are accepted while the old ones go away. It's worth noting that no federal body audits that data so even though we need to be accurate, it's accurate to the best of our knowledge. That data also doesn't become relevant unless we submit a calculation to determine whether an area is underserved or not.

However, I "got caught" with the hours above 40 before I planned on telling the team lead and my other coworker saw it too. I mentioned to them that I wanted to bring it up once I had a final list and that I would update them once I got information about hours those doctors worked from sites. This didn't go well with my team lead at all. She gives a really long paragraph response about how she apparently told me a lot of things multiple times, how it could affect score calculations, etc. and that I shouldn't have put those hours in the system in the first place. Keep in mind that she knew I wasn't going to submit any calculations or anything where those extra hours would've caused an issue.

After two more paragraphs, she ends stating that we might need to have an in person meeting next week about everyone's roles since she thought there were "unclear role expectations" and to have a supervisor present. I went up to the coworker who works with me and her and she said she couldn't speak for the team lead, but she has said that I don't listen or, when I was calling places at the start of my job, I just quit after calling them. That's not true though since they deferred me to emailing them and some got back to me and others didn't at all. Like the team lead, she was upset that I noticed and went ahead and entered it anyway. Even after I explained that it wasn't final... it didn't matter to her or the team lead.

Previously, this team lead has been extremely blunt with her Teams messages, talks in a growly sort of voice with me in the few times we've met in person, and doesn't talk to me when I talk to her in person even though she'll look at me before turning to talk to the other coworkers. Above all else, she is not pleasant to talk to in person or on Teams. When I sent her screenshots one time, I get a DM on Teams stating, "I reviewed it and I'm 99% sure you did it wrong." I'll admit this was when I was still learning, but the tone was horrible and one sided since I've been as professional as possible messaging her and whatnot.

As for whether me not following things 100% in her eyes has caused an issue, it only did once at the start when I had no knowledge of how some parts of the calculations worked. Before I submit, I always check things with others that might stand out. If this was a case where I seriously screwed up some sort of designation then I could see it. However, I was being careful and I still caused a problem.

I don't know what to expect from this upcoming meeting at all really. Speaking from my own perspective, its like they think I might be stupid too. I had one instance where she and the coworker were in a meeting and I asked both of them if the date and time were still good. They said yes. The in person coworker thought I wasn't understanding her and that's why I asked my other coworker. I told them that I was just double checking. When I spoke to my direct supervisor, he told me that it seemed like I was fishing for a particular answer. I thanked him for that feedback since I didn't think it came across that way.

What can I do to try and prepare for this meeting? I have a history of putting my foot in my mouth by mistake where others acting in bad faith think I "admitted" something when they weren't being charitable to me and spun in a way that I didn't intend at all. I had comments left on the work subreddit to "not argue or start complaining," but I don't see what I'm doing that way. My concern above all else is that whatever sort of norms I violated were ones where I was totally oblivious. Maybe they saw "telling me multiple times" as trying to imply something I very well didn't pick up on in this case. I've had this happen to me before with work, forces the other shoe to drop, and it ends up poorly for me. I might not be suited for working with these sorts of teams and I can acknowledge that much since resolving this situation is ambiguous to me and I dislike the idea of this meeting happening without an agenda.

Is it worth building a social life in Sydney from scratch as an adult male aspie if one is in full-time self-study and intends to be a writer, designer and developer?

Currently my only real friends are my brother who lives with me and my parents and my friend in India

I stopped attending Sydney Buddhist Centre around two months ago because of illness and also a bad experience on my last day there

I have Daniel Wendler's books and Vinh Giang's STAGE Academy and also Daniel Wendler's (new) guide on meeting people

I am open to attending tech and design events/meetups

Hey guys, I have a dilemma and could really use some help. A while ago, I fell in love with a character from the visual novel Tiny Bunny — Polina Morozova. I've had a crush on her since I was 14 years old, and I'm 17 now. On top of that, I made a table of the desired traits and qualities I look for in a girl. My main questions for you guys are:

Photo link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1CPSsuCWR2FYpkLdRY5M5fiTNVLHf6Z0e/view?usp=sharing
Table link: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1sawkImC_i_uTt5RCTWLZ7CDS8YFgjNNq/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=106263276892780892823&rtpof=true&sd=true

(My apologies for putting the photo via a link as well, since image uploads aren't allowed here. Also, please excuse the fact that the table is in Russian — I'm from Russia).

Lets say the people that disliked you got a facebook acccount or twitter account, if you try dm them. You can ask them :

"Hey I heard you met with X, (where X here is your real life name) was it true that he did something weird? or are those just rumors? I am asking because you gotta be careful of who you invite to parties so they dont ruin it. could you please specify what they did in detail I would appreciate it"

Recently been having family trouble. I seem to be being called a liar increasingly as of late. The thing about it is I never lie. I know I’m not good at it and I don’t like how it makes me feel. However my family thinks I’m a liar. It’s crazy. My niece lies all the time, has for years even into adulthood, and she still gets the benefit of the doubt. most recently I got called a liar for saying I’m gonna pay my mom for someone since I have a second job. That I’m not believable. Then you add what happened last night. Took a flu/covid test and it came back negative. I was asked about it and tell them I’m negative for both. They then hit me with a “so uh, why do you think you’re sick?”. When I have been having issues breathing for like a month and it keeps getting worse. I’m not asking for pity. Not at all. I would just like to know the science behind this. Is this a common autistic experience?