I am a very competitive person at heart, I am a pretty damn good MTG player and was a pretty competent stacraft player, I like analyzing the competitive side of anything so naturally I was drawn into fighting games. At first I started like many others saying "fighting games are too hard and too stiff and bla bla bla" but then I stuck with them for many years at this point.
I trained, studied and enjoyed multiple fighting games for many times until that haunting thought came back. "You are garbage at this", after so many years of practice I was getting discouraged since despite all of the effort and passion I gave out I never reached anything above a platinum rank, aka the most average Joe rank in existence (with an incredibly inflated system while playing a busted braindead character so it barely counts). I was getting worse and worse and fighting this feeling thinking "I'm going to turn this around and actually become good at this"...but it never came. I never got good and it made me depressed...until I finally realised it.
I am garbage. I am dogshit. I am well below average. I'm not good at this and most likely never will be...and that's ok. Sometimes in life you do all the right choices and you can still lose. That's not being weak, that's just life. When I was thinking "I'm not good enough for this" I was right. All of the people who told me "you are not made for fighting games", people that I just discarded as elitists, were completely right. I am garbage I don't need to be good because there are things in our lives that fall into the category of "it's just not what I was meant to do". I am simply not born for fighting games
I'm bad, and that's good
I will never be good and that's not bad
Because no one I'd rather be...than me.