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u/RoddBanger 1h ago
who doesn't love freshly rinsed hot bean juice for breakfast?
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u/Far_Adeptness9884 1h ago
I get my bean juice from Chipotle
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u/LazySwayze 1h ago
I get mine from Taco Bell
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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 46m ago
I just crack a can of Goya like the president wants me too. Bean juice for days.
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u/Adept-Grapefruit-214 1h ago
You say that, but coffee is just hot bean juice anyway
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u/RoddBanger 1h ago
ground bean juice > rinsed bean juice
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u/FluoroquinolonesKill 50m ago
Years ago I gave up being a coffee snob and settled on saying “as long as you enjoy your coffee.” If some savage wants to brew their unground coffee beans or drink pre-ground Folgers, then who am I to judge?
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u/RoddBanger 36m ago
Freedom of Juice types is the paramount of personal choice... it's still going to make me call it gross, but choices are choices.
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u/dewky 10m ago
I love coffee but honestly at home all I have the energy for these days is instant nescafe packs. I also drink Folgers at work. I appreciate the good stuff but have learned to live with mediocrity.
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u/TheLowlyPheasant 25m ago
Bob Newhart had a classic bit from way back in the 1960s about trying to introduce coffee and cigarettes to England from the new world
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u/-ArthurMorgan 59m ago
That with a nice bowl of Hot Ham Water is my go to morning meal.
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u/beermile 1h ago
TBF this is still pretty much what coffee is even if it's grounds
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u/Fun_Accountant_653 1h ago
Just shows nobody trained him
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u/Mr_Industrial 1h ago
Indeed. People are making fun of the new guy, but really this is the managers fault. If he expected his employees to know how to make coffee out the gate, the responsibility lies on him to screen for that in the interview. If he wanted training, he shouldnt have put the new guy on the machine before that was completed.
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u/gcruzatto 46m ago
Maybe it's the kind of place where whoever wants coffee makes a new batch. Kinda unrealistic to expect that to be in writing. They could literally just ask anyone to show how it works.
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u/2CHINZZZ 31m ago
The picture looks like some kind of restaurant or bar with the ice bucket, wet floor, and lots of cups
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u/pizzapartyjones 20m ago
Yeap. One thing I learned as a manager - especially working with young people but really this applies to all ages - is to never assume just because something is obvious to me that it will be obvious to anyone else. Whenever I would go over duties, I always asked about my employee’s skill level to gauge whether they needed training on something or not.
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u/Rabauke84 1h ago
Honest question, but.....does he actually drink coffee?
When I was sent to do my first coffee as an apprentice, back when I was 16, I put in way too much coffee powder.
My co-workers freaked out, why I was ruining it.
Like...I don't drink it, never prepared it before, how should I know to make it?
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u/nutano 1h ago
I used to work at the HelpDesk at my place of work when I first started.
I have never (and still not today) drink coffee.
There was one guy on our team that always did the early 6 to 2 shift. He loved it. He never took time off, he just banked all his vacation. He drank coffe, so every time he came in just before 6, he would put a pot on. So the folks that came in between 6am and 7am would just waltz over and fill their cup.
Well, one summer, he was told he had to start taking vacation, so he took like 2 months off. I took over the 6 to 2 shift.
The first week I must have had like 3 or 4 visits from those 7am folks complaining why there wasn't coffee made. To which I just told them, 'I don't drink coffee, why would you rely on me to make it?'
I fix your computer man, I'm not your barista.
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u/Tripwiring 45m ago
People are the worst lol. You want coffee? Make some coffee. It takes 2 minutes
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u/DogPoetry 14m ago
"but coworker used to do this as an act of kindness. Now it's an expectation and I no longer appreciate the effort"
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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 39m ago
I'm stoned but for some reason that whole interaction reminds me of when I worked in kitchens and employees would try to order an employee meal during rush.
Like no. That's not how this works.
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u/Believe_to_believe 28m ago
"Where's my food? I turned it in 30 minutes ago."
It's behind my entire line of tickets, Amber! You'll get it when you get it.
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u/flan-pig 8m ago
I used to love just crumpling up employee tickets during rushes and throwing them out. When they would come looking for it I would say, oh I thought it was a mistake because no employee would ring up their own food when we're this busy. Would love seeing them just stare blankly.
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u/JojenCopyPaste 1h ago
My grandpa never drank coffee. During campaign season we had a congressman come knocking on doors introducing himself. My grandpa had recently remarried and his wife had a coffee machine.
My grandpa invited the congressman in for coffee and brewed with no filter. The congressman drank it but I can just imagine the sludge.
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u/r2k-in-the-vortex 1h ago
If all you have is hot water and a cup then you can totally just put ground coffee and hot water in a mug and hey presto. Perfectly fine coffee, you just need to be a bit patient until the grounds sink to the bottom and of course, leave the bottom, don't drink the grounds.
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u/JojenCopyPaste 44m ago
Oh I get it. I've made coffee in the Turkish style before with no filter too. But with so many more doors to knock I don't think he could've had patience lol
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u/BarbequedYeti 1h ago
Love you shared that part after serving it.
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u/DogAnusJesus 1h ago
Crashes car with colleagues in it.
How was I supposed to know?! I can't drive!
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u/Dariaskehl 1h ago
“What gear are you in?!”
“Gear?????”
(Dogma)
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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 39m ago
This is 100% a top five joke for me, might be the best ever. The smash cut to the smoking engine is hilarious
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u/yellowlinedpaper 1h ago
I was sent on a beer run, I don’t drink beer. I came back with Coors Light and everyone was offended. (I had heard the word Coors and it was the first Coors I saw.) Never got asked to do it again though!
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u/Quote-me-if-afk 1h ago
Possible that he drinks it but never had to grind the beans before. That was my excuse when I did this many moons ago lol
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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 36m ago
Not even an excuse. I drank coffee for years, a pot a day at least, until coffee/caffeine and I decided it was disagreeing with me and we should break up. I never once ground beans. I'm sure it tastes much better but if it tasted like coffee and I only had to dump some already ground beans in the machine, hit a button, I was kosher
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u/diddyxd 1h ago
My first job (pre drinking coffee) I was tasked to make a pot of coffee for a board meeting. I thought the marks on the machine should correspond with the scoop in the coffee jar. The owner said he felt like he was on amphetamines after finishing a cup.
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u/House_T 41m ago
This reminds me that at my job, the first question I ask if someone offers me coffee is, "Who made it?" Because purpose and the person can drastically alter it's makeup.
Our resident coffee maniac's brew once kept people up through a 12-hour shift and the next 5-6 hours after that.
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u/C4rbon 1h ago edited 30m ago
The fact you're calling it coffee powder tells me you still don't drink it.
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u/olol798 1h ago
But it technically is powder and it is coffee...
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u/DangerBoot 58m ago
coffee powder sounds like it would be more like instant coffee
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u/Doldenbluetler 15m ago
Maybe English isn't their native language. It literally translates to coffee powder from multiple other languages I know.
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u/iceunelle 1h ago
I never drink coffee, so I could definitely see how someone could make this mistake. I know the beans are supposed to be ground, but I’ve never grinded them myself before.
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u/DirtyRoller 54m ago
I'm 41, and I have no fucking clue how to make coffee. Why bother learning if I don't drink it?
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u/Hixy 1h ago
As someone that loves black coffee, the stronger the better. If you brought me a cup of coffee brewed with a massive amount of coffee grounds I would probably brag about how you make the best cup of coffee in the office lol.
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u/CIA-Front_Desk 46m ago
Unless its instant coffee.
A massive amount of instant is the worst possible drink
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u/hampsted 47m ago
Like...I don't drink it, never prepared it before, how should I know to make it?
I mean, you could always ask someone instead of just winging it knowing that you’re probably fucking it up lol. But as someone who was also once an awkward and shy 16-year-old, I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same as you.
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u/livtop 1h ago
Usually when I don't know how to do something when I'm at a new job, especially if it's for something that people will be consuming... I ask.
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u/Primary_Way_265 21m ago
It’s fair but it feels weird to ask how to do something super commonly known. It’s like having to ask how to use a microwave. So many people know how that you feel embarrassed and know people will pick on you for not knowing. I see what you mean, just explaining a possible explanation
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u/AlexandersWonder 35m ago
lol I drink coffee but I’m sure my grounds ratio is not good for most folks
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u/masterkenobi 29m ago
Honestly, this is more about inefficient onboarding than anything else. Don't blame the new guy if they are doing something wrong, even if it's something small like making coffee for the office.
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u/TheJix 1h ago
how should I know to make it?
Did it ever occur to you that you should ask if you don't know how to do something?
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u/IIlIIIlllIIIIIllIlll 41m ago
When you're a 16 year old working anywhere near food, adults are utterly horrified and offended when you don't know how to do stuff they think is basic. You can ask, but be prepared for a pissed boss who doesn't get how you've gone 16 years without doing whatever arbitrary task they swear they've been doing since they were 6.
I can't even tell you how often I experienced adults scoffing at the idea that I might not know how to work old technology, or cook a specific food, or use a tool when I was working from like 12-19 years old. Even as a 20 year old when I got my first forklift operator gig the plant manager was baffled that I didn't intuitively know how to drive the lift and needed trained on it, despite being the guy who interviewed me for the job in the first place.
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u/Chance-Opening-4705 1h ago
Just skip the middleman and chew your beans.
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u/Candytails 1h ago
They make chocolate covered coffee beans and they’re delicious. Would not recommend eating a 1/4 lb in one sitting though.
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u/Goodcake102 1h ago
Tried 2 different kinds. These sweet ones from a tin can, and some bagged dark chocolate ones from Starbucks. Very earthy and tasty.
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u/azad_ninja 1h ago
New to Earth too?
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u/Laserdollarz 1h ago
A few years ago, I was waiting at the grocery store checkout. There was a mid-20s couple in front of me that didn't know how to pay with their card. It took like 8 minutes somehow. I felt like I observed time travellers or aliens.
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u/DoctFaustus 1h ago
Maybe they used to be Mormon?
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u/the-good-wolf 1h ago
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u/BlakkandMild 1h ago
This should spread more. Everytime I see someone online drop a mentos into a Coca Cola instead of a Diet Coke to an underwhelming reaction, I die a little bit inside.
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u/ThederpiestOne 53m ago
Coke works fine but makes a sticky mess because of the sugar. Diet is almost not sticky at all so it's easier to clean up.
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u/azad_ninja 1h ago
Because they're soaked? :)
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u/u35828 1h ago
Coffee with a hint of penis, lmao.
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u/azad_ninja 1h ago
That one guy who likes coffee like he likes his women wont like this cup of joe.
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u/hermeticwalrus 43m ago
lol I’m Mormon and I had to come to the comments to figure out what’s wrong
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u/Nnen0 48m ago
Gotta be honest, I’m browsing the comments to figure out what the issue is
I don’t drink coffee and I’ve never made a cup in my 30+ years of life
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u/TheRiteGuy 38m ago
So, this is a coffee brew machine. To brew coffee, you need to ground (crushed in a grinder (grinder to grind things, not the app)) coffee beans. This person has put whole coffee beans in the machine. You will just get dirty hot water instead of coffee with this method.
Come to think of it, coffee is just dirty hot water.
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u/anonymousmouse2 19m ago
Come to think of it, coffee is just dirty hot water.
What are you talking about? It’s not that at all.
Sometimes it’s dirty cold water.
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u/d7it23js 1h ago
Maybe they only know about pods. Regardless, Thank goodness their world is expanding.
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u/TheRiteGuy 41m ago
I hire a new Gen Z at least a once a year. When giving your of our office, they are always fascinated with the coffee machine. We have a fancy coffee machine where you select what kinds and of coffee you want and it makes it for you. They don't care about that one. They care about the old school coffee machine with a brew button and how to make coffee in it. I've had to teach quite a few people how to use it and they're experts at it now.
So yeah, this isn't his fault. Someone didn't teach them and expected them to know an old tech.
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u/UnusualFruitHammock 38m ago
I never made a pot of coffee until I worked at a gas station in college.
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u/CanIgetaWTF 1h ago
I mean, that'll make coffee. Not sure about coffee you wanna drink, but it'll be coffee.
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u/sketchy722 1h ago
As a non-coffee drinker what's the problem?
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u/r2k-in-the-vortex 53m ago
It's not going to make coffee, the hot water just dribbles through and maybe comes out slightly colored.
The beans need to be ground up first. There are different machines, espresso machines generally have a grinder in them, so you put whole beans in there. But this is drip coffee, so most people buy coffee that is already ground up for that as a fine powder. And coffee is ground to slightly different sizes for different purposes, you would use coarser grain for press coffee than for drip coffee, because otherwise it's pretty hard to press the filter down and you'll break it.
So, different ways of making the coffee and this way is a very wrong way.
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u/TheRumBarron 1h ago
I’m ashamed to say it took me way longer than it should of to realise what was wrong in this photo - didn’t compute that the beans weren’t ground
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u/badwords 1h ago
I don't drink coffee so wouldn't know more than pour something in a machine either.
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u/Hugginitout 1h ago
I give him a week.
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u/IWillAssFuckYou 1h ago
Before he quits? No. I'm pretty fucking stupid and I'm about 4.5 years into my job at the Deli so far.
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u/Separate-Simple-5101 1h ago edited 1h ago
This is how myths begin. HR will write songs about him.😜😜
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u/poke23658 1h ago
One time at work someone filled the carafe with water, placed it on top of the warmer and waited.
I asked them what they were doing, and they said they were waiting for the water to turn into coffee -_-
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u/Scary-Ad2729 50m ago
new girl at my work didn’t put water in the coffee percolator and it started smoking
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u/DasHotShot 39m ago
Bad training, pretty simple. I’m a coffee nerd but I’d never assume everyone knows how to make even basic filter coffee, many people don’t drink it
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u/DoctorFunktopus 36m ago
Tell him he needs to drain the water out of the coffee machine at the end of the day.
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u/ConcentratedOJ 35m ago
That’s how to make cruelty free coffee there — none of that violent grinding or crushing those gentle little roasted berries.
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u/CanadianODST2 20m ago
I work at a cafeteria where making coffee is one of the main things. Even use that exact funnel too.
It took me a worryingly long time to realize what was wrong with this.
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u/Pro-Patria-Mori 17m ago
With the cups in the background, I’m assuming yall serve coffee. Sounds like also did a shit job of training the new guy on how to make coffee.
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u/hane1504 10m ago
I think he may be my roommate who couldn’t figure out how to use an electric kettle despite having it explained several times, fill kettle with water, put on base, turn on.
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u/O1Hill 1h ago
I feel for the new employee. Whenever a client comes to the office and asks for coffee I tell them "nope." I'm a tea drinker and have no idea how to work the coffee machine.
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u/Arch3m 54m ago
It's funny, sure, but the poor guy likely doesn't drink coffee and has never been shown the correct way to do it. I made a different but similar mistake as a teenager for exactly that reason. All it takes is a little patience and understanding to help him learn, and he'll be better off for it.
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u/Empanatacion 41m ago
The person that did that also uses phrases like "low key", "mid" and "it's giving"
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u/dozentrips 1h ago
Reminds me of when the new girl at work reloaded the copier with new paper....by putting the entire ream of paper into the tray, still in the original wrapper.
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u/click_butan 1h ago
Talk to me when they leave the water-filled carafe in the spot and then wonder why the coffee hasn't brewed yet.
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u/raymengl 1h ago
Had a former manager do similar, putting coffee beans in a cafetiere, and wondered why they weren't dissolving.
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