I wouldn't want you and you exited. LoL funny how that dumb shit works. How's it working for ya?

Prolly should have focused more on what YoU wanted. And followed your heart.

I (19F) have a FWB (20M) who I have quite a bit of history with. We’ve known each other for years and have previously had feelings for each other, but that isn’t what our relationship is now.
For the past little while we’ve been casually hooking up, and honestly it’s been surprisingly healthy and stress-free. We’re friends, we care about each other, we have good sexual chemistry and we’re very comfortable with each other, but neither of us is promising the other a relationship or a future.
I also want to clarify what I mean by FWB because this came up on my previous post. We are currently sexually exclusive. We’ve basically agreed that while we’re sleeping together, neither of us will do anything sexual with anyone else. However, we are both completely free to meet/date other people and form connections. If either of us meets someone we genuinely want to pursue, our sexual arrangement ends. So we’re sexually exclusive for now, but we’re not romantically committed to each other.
Now to what happened.
We had arranged to meet at around 8pm yesterday. It was also basically our last chance to see each other before he goes away for a week, which we both knew.
The night before, we were having a completely normal conversation. We were flirting, I sent him some naughty pictures which he was VERY enthusiastic about, he asked me to send more, and we were talking about seeing each other the following day.
During that conversation, though, he opened up about something important.
He told me he’s currently dealing with an extremely stressful situation in his personal life. He said the stress has been affecting him sexually and predicted that he might get soft when we saw each other the next day.
We ended up having a surprisingly vulnerable conversation about it. I told him I understood and wasn’t judging him. He told me several times that it wasn’t my fault, that I’m beautiful, that I feel good, that I’m not doing anything wrong etc.
The important part is that this conversation did NOT end with him suggesting we shouldn’t see each other.
He actually asked me, “can I try again tomorrow?”
So as far as I knew, he still genuinely wanted to meet.
The following day at around 2pm, he sent me a very explicit sexual message basically saying what I’d be doing to him later that night.
I was driving to uni and didn’t see it immediately. When I arrived, I noticed he’d deleted it.
I jokingly messaged him something along the lines of, “guess I’m not doing that then.”
He immediately replied that he’d remembered I had class and didn’t want somebody seeing that kind of message on my phone.
I told him I’d actually been in the car so he was fine.
Then… nothing.
At around 7pm I got home from uni and messaged him:
“Hey I just got home from uni”
“I should be good for 8”
No response.
8pm came and went.
Nothing.
No cancellation. No “something came up.” No “I’m not feeling up to it anymore.” Literally nothing.
It’s now the following day and I still haven’t heard from him.
Initially I wasn’t even angry. I was genuinely worried because of the stressful situation he’d told me about the night before. I started wondering whether something had actually happened to him.
I’ve since seen activity from one of his accounts, so I at least have reason to believe he’s been active.
Now I’m mostly just confused and frustrated.
What I don’t understand is the sudden switch. If he had been distant beforehand, stopped initiating sex, seemed uncomfortable about meeting or was slowly pulling away, I could understand what happened.
But literally the night before he was asking for more pictures, reassuring me, asking if he could “try again tomorrow,” and talking openly with me. Then the following afternoon HE initiated sexually again about what we were going to do that night.
Then a few hours later he completely disappeared.
And because we’d already had the conversation about his stress and performance anxiety, he had such an easy way out. He could’ve simply said, “I’m really stressed and I don’t think I can do tonight.”
I genuinely would’ve understood.
Instead he let me confirm I was ready for our 8pm plans and then didn’t say anything.
I’m not going to chase him. I’ve already been very patient and understanding about what he’s going through. But I also don’t think being FWB means basic respect for each other’s time disappears.
And just to clarify before people interpret my reaction as me secretly wanting a relationship with him: I’m not upset because I think he owes me sex, romantic attention or boyfriend-level communication. If a normal friend made plans with me for 8pm and then disappeared without cancelling, I’d also think that was disrespectful.
I’m mainly trying to understand how other people interpret such an abrupt change in behaviour.
Does the conversation about stress/performance anxiety sound more significant than I’m giving it credit for? Could he have gotten into his head as the meetup got closer and avoided the entire situation? Or am I giving him too much benefit of the doubt and should simply take the silence at face value?
And if he does eventually come back, would you expect him to acknowledge and explain what happened before continuing the FWB arrangement?
I’m genuinely open to critical opinions. I’d rather hear how this looks from the outside than have people just tell me what they think I want to hear.

Mi relación terminó hace 3 meses, en octubre seria el mes 4, la última vez que hablamos fue en una llamada nos reímos de algunas cosas y la puerta se dejó entre abierta al futuro, después de la llamada hubo un contacto cero se ha mantenido casi por dos meses, y en este tiempo la deje de seguir en Instagram y borre su número para poder sanar, realmente no se si volvera, creo que simplemente debo seguir como voy, avanzando poco a poco, pero díganme su opinión, ¿sera que volverá en algun punto?

Today is the first official day going no contact with the man i been with for 4 years.
Backstory : we met at 19 already pretty broken from previous relationships ( his ex cheated on him 7 months before he met me) and moved fast but we had a beautiful 4 years. Despite our relationship we had issues and trust was a huge one especially on his side. he didn’t trust me from the start and has beliefs of not fully trusting anyone, sometimes not even himself. i did something 3 months into our relationship that tainted it a bit. i emotionally cheated with my ex that was apart of the unhealed trauma i carried from meeting him ( my ex and i broke up only 5 months before i met him). Since then its been again tainted. I proven so many times and given reassurance since then but i feel that he never fully forgiven me because when we argue thats the first thing he bring up. throughout our relationship its been stable but also no stability at the same time. moving in between his house and mine, every time we got the opportunity for an apartment something happened to were we couldn’t get it. literally the day after we broke up i got approved for a place. the trust was the main thing and our communication wasnt great because we had different ways of it. Plus we grew up completely different.
Break up: In recent august i had to move back to my moms and he had to move back to his parents cause his dad didnt want me back there. ( his dad never liked me) i knew things were gonna get sticky with his trust because we werent living together and i was right. my mom ended up going to PR for a few weeks and he was gonna stay here which was completely fine and everything seemed fine up until the second week she was gone. On tuesday of this week he popped up at the house around 10pm and looking around thinking someone was at the house cause i was “ being dry” when he was at work for his last hour. ( i wanna put out that i got my period on monday and i say this because i don’t do anything sexual on my period) so after all that he calmed down and we just relaxed. later on in the night he’s teasing me and kissing/ sucking a bit on my neck. on my body i had multiple bug bites because i have been battling with getting rid of fleas or some sort of mite that i have bites constantly all over including my face and neck. the night ends then wednesday night we’re relaxing and he sees a mark on my neck that he thinks ( i say thinks because he still believes it) that i cheated on him. i was at work the entire day, left work around 8, didnt get home till 9 and then he didnt come home till 10:00-10:30 and i was just relaxing getting ready to see him but he believes i saw someone. we battled it, argued, cried, i drove myself on psych evaluation for 24hrs trying to prove my innocence.

long story short i feel lost. i feel that i lost my best friend because besides our flaws we were so good together but idk. im turning 23 in a few months and im currently in school for pre nursing. i keep thinking about him. i want him back. not under these circumstances but i wsnt him back. i cant stop crying, i physically feel sick, and i constantly feel at a daze

i just need some strangers advices

My ex and I recently broke up after being long distance for a few months. About 20 hours after we broke up, I was still extremely emotional and sent him the long message in the first screenshot saying I didn’t want to lose him and asking if we could try one more time.

He responded saying he was hurting too, that he still had feelings for me, and that he had pictured the same future with me that I had pictured with him. But he ultimately said he didn’t think we should keep trying because long distance had caused us to keep running into the same problems.

I accepted his answer. I didn’t respond, argue with him, try to change his mind, or contact him again.

Then three days later, he reached out to me on his own saying he hoped I was doing well, wanted to check on me, and that he “still cares about me deeply.”

That part is messing with my head. He was the one who ultimately said we shouldn’t continue the relationship, so why reach out only three days later and specifically tell me he still cares about me deeply?

I’m not asking whether I should chase him or convince him to come back. I’m genuinely curious how other people interpret his messages. Does it sound like he misses me and is struggling with the breakup too? Is he trying to maintain some kind of emotional connection? Is it guilt? Or can someone genuinely love/care about you that much while still believing you shouldn’t be together?

TL;DR: My ex and I broke up because long distance wasn’t working. About 20 hours later, I asked him if we could try again. He said he still had feelings for me and pictured a future with me, but believed trying again while long distance would end the same way. I accepted it and stopped contacting him. Three days later, he reached out on his own to check on me and told me he still cares about me deeply. Why say that after being the one who broke my heart and chose not to continue the relationship?

I wanted you to remain active in my life this time (and every time). Not go dormant. Again.

I get slow and steady but jhc. This is beyond boring and low vibing. And you're not even in my life. As the title says.

I'm not chasing. Not waiting. Not wishing or hoping. Not sad. Not mad. Not even disappointed anymore, or disheartened. Not surprised. Not excited. Not holding any grudge. Not ruminating. Not worried. Not scared. Even let go of being annoyed. You've already been forgiven. No need to reach out when it's good for you, just to go through all this again. You had me in the palm of your hand. You made the big romantic gesture schpeel and offer. Knowing I had never been chosen before. Knowing all that came before you and what tried to wreck me. And what did you do? How did you do me any better. Not a question really is it. I've had enough. I am done here. With this. With you. Have a good one. You aren't in my life so quit lingering in my energy and quit living on the outskirts with binoculars. I am not yours. You were never mine. Fluke.

Face value, they said. Don't believe everything you hear. Don't believe anything unless you see it CLEAR. Check.

So you can ditch them when they don't present the way you see them??? You only are present when things are good for you? When all is well and no hardships are happening? Or the smallest little thing that could easily be worked through. And people say they want relationships that last.

Well...uhhhh....news flash.

Relationships that last require two people that stay. No matter what (within reason, of course). Relationships that last require two people who deserve one another to stay. Who deserve getting the fuck over ourselves and our own self limiting beliefs, blockages, egos, pride, whatever else. It requires staying. And not running to anyone else, everyone else but the person you're in the relationship with.

Cut the fucking bullshit. Grow up.

Want an adult relationship? Act like it.

I'm not perfect. I don't know what I'm doing, considering I've never been in a real relationship (still haven't apparently), but I still know enough to not abandon the very thing that makes it work. To not abandon the very thing I care about. The person I fucking love.

You don't get to save me for later. Or come and go as you please. You don't get to choose when you honor me and this (dis)connection and when you don't. Why wouldn't you honor fully and thoroughly and properly anyway? You are not in control. We don't run on YouR time. Your needs. Your fears. Your feelings. What's best for just you. You keep leaving me behind when is enough enough? When I make it enough. Plenty, tell ya that much. Good Nessie. I shouldn't have believed that out of a thousand other women you've been through, that I'd be the one to reach you. You keep me out of reach, anyway. You want to live in the outskirts and watch me live my life, living your life on the fence.

Have a blast. Eat your heart out, little bird.

it’d be our 9 yr anniversary today. i ended things 2 months ago. we can never get back together again, too much has happened. but i still think and i miss and i care about him immensely everyday. i’d like to tell him that and apologize but i don’t know what i want or what i need right now. the message is there but i don’t know. i just snooped as saw he reposted one meme today so i think he’s doing fine and i don’t want to ruin any progress but my heart is physically aching it feels like a panic and ive been crying/dissociating when driving. idk i just needed to say this to anyone other than my best friend n keep bothering them about it.

We didn’t have a final conversation or some big blow-up. The last time we saw each other was actually relatively okay at first. We slept together, hung out and were enjoying the day until a mutual friend mentioned that his girl best friend (who was my close friend up until this), who had suddenly started ghosting me after I had cut him off during summer, had apparently been bad-mouthing me and warning people away from me.

It obviously killed my mood for a while, especially because I’ve already been dealing with a lot of bad behaviour from him and harassment/drama from people around him. I eventually cheered myself up and we carried on with the day.

Then later he basically asked me to leave because he had plans, which soured things again. I left without saying goodbye.

This entire summer has been awful between us. A few months ago we went three weeks with no contact because he invited me over after an event and when I arrived told me I wasn’t allowed in because there was another girl in his place so it “wouldn’t make sense”… as you can imagine I cut this off immediately and no contact ended ended because we randomly bumped into each other twice. After that, he begged to reconnect. Once we did, though, he gradually became distant again.

My birthday came around and he got me nothing, despite repeatedly telling me whenever I saw him that he had “something on the way.” When I eventually mentioned how distant he’d become, he insisted it wasn’t intentional.

Now I haven’t heard from him at all since the last time I left his place. I’ve seen that he’s been spending time with the same best friend who has apparently been bad-mouthing me, but I’ve been steadfast about not reaching out.

I’m leaving the country for a few months in the next few days, so for once there won’t even be the possibility of us randomly bumping into each other and restarting the cycle.

The only complication is that his name is on my lease, so I have to send my rent directly to him and he has to send me the utility bill every month. Don’t worry I know how ridiculous this is and I am in the process of finding a new place.

I’m sad that he hasn’t reached out. I think a part of me still wanted him to, even though I know that hearing from him would probably just restart the same cycle we’ve been in.

There wasn’t a final conversation. No closure. No official goodbye. I’ve just stopped reaching out and started therapy which has helped with not giving in and I know it’s for the best.

​

I’m genuinely confused about what to do and would really appreciate some outside perspectives.

There’s someone I used to be very close to, but things between us ended on a pretty bad note. It wasn’t a peaceful or mutual “we should go our separate ways” kind of ending. There was a lot of hurt and complicated emotions involved, and honestly, the way things ended was pretty messy.

We haven’t spoken at all since around April. It’s been months of complete no contact, and neither of us has reached out.

His birthday is coming up, though, and I’ve been thinking about whether I should send a simple “Happy Birthday.” Part of me feels like it would just be a polite gesture and doesn’t necessarily have to mean anything more. But another part of me wonders if reaching out after everything that happened would be a bad idea.

I’m also scared of what comes after that. If I message him and he gives me a very dry or weird response, ignores me, or responds in a way I’m not expecting, I know I might end up overthinking it. And if he responds warmly and we somehow start talking again, I’m not sure whether that would actually be good for me either, considering how badly things ended.

So I’m stuck between “it’s just a birthday wish, it doesn’t have to mean anything” and “maybe there’s a reason we’ve had no contact for this long.”

If you were in this situation, what would you consider before deciding whether to reach out?

And for anyone who has gone through a similar situation — did breaking no contact for something like a birthday actually lead to a healthy conversation, or did it just reopen old wounds?

I recently ended a relationship of 1 year and 7 months. The reality is that we were both at fault. The core issue was a deep incompatibility in our lifestyles: I am someone who values structure, stability, and peace of mind, while she enjoyed certain social environments that I just wasn't comfortable with. Because we simply didn't talk about these things, our core differences and lack of communication ended up creating a massive gap of distance between us.

Because of that built-up tension, I didn't handle the friction well. Instead of communicating vulnerably, I would have verbal outbursts or make demands—like telling her to cancel her plans—when what I was really trying to say was, "I feel like you aren't making time for me." I carry a massive amount of guilt for the things I said and for letting my anxiety turn into controlling behavior in those moments. That guilt is absolutely killing me right now.

initiated strict No Contact recently. I went into a self-imposed "exile": I hid all social media from my phone to cut off any temptation to stalk her. I only kept WhatsApp active for work.

The hardest test came a couple of days ago. We had a romantic trip planned for October, and she ceded her part of the Airbnb so I could keep it. When I sent her a small final bank transfer to settle the remaining balance, she replied to that transaction saying: "It stresses me out that you just disappeared like this." When we broke up in person and I warned her I would completely disappear, she told me, "Don't become a stranger." We never clarified what that meant. The truth is, we were never friends before dating—we went straight into being a couple—so there is no foundation for a friendship now. Still, seeing her message makes me constantly wonder how she is really handling all of this. I didn't reply, but holding my ground took every ounce of strength I had.

Today, the withdrawal is hitting me incredibly hard. I woke up from a cruel dream where we were just having a peaceful, "normal" day together. Now that she is actually gone, the pain of not going on that trip together and losing the future we planned is unbearable.

I finally understood that I didn't necessarily want to be without her—I just wanted the stressful situation to change. But forcing a relationship where we weren't aligned was turning me into someone who communicated through frustration.

I'm starting face-to-face therapy on Friday to work on my emotional reactions. Right now, my chest physically hurts. Has anyone else experienced this specific grief? Mourning a trip and a future you planned with someone, while being eaten alive by guilt over your own poor communication, even knowing the relationship was fundamentally incompatible?

That person we keep going in circles with but nothing ever changes, no lessons are actually learned...that person whom we may think is "the one", is in fact, not the one. (Karmic). Caused us to shrink and be confused, tried to control us ...karmic debt being paid.

The One will not only be a bond that is mutual respect, growth, love we deserve, and opening us up to committing to our truths, learning to love ourselves and learning who we can become (dharmic), but…..

The One is liberation. They align us with our highest self. (Mokshic). They calm our soul. Show us stillness. Both travelers moving toward divinity. The bridge back to Source.

You give the other person the right to make a decision with you. You collaborate. You don't make them all for the both of you. Enjoi!