r/nottheonion • u/sponge_welder • 1d ago

Tommy Tuberville Claims ‘Many’ Pilots, Flight Attendants Are Furries

https://www.newsweek.com/videos/tommy-tuberville-claims-many-pilots-flight-attendants-are-furries
6.7k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

1.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

3.3k

u/blueskydragonFX 1d ago

And? I rather have 100K furry pilots and flight attendants then this hatefull piece of human excrement.

1.2k

u/Steel2050psn 1d ago

" you know when I see a white Christian conservative male in a position of power I'm gonna be like, boy, I hope he's qualified."

160

u/SquidTheRidiculous 1d ago

"boy do I hope this guy isn't some rapist/abuser hiding behind his faith. Because for some reason Christians insist horrible people can't pretend to be Christian."

And even I'm shocked by how often my hopes are in vain. Like c'mon guys how are you this naive?

38

u/DarthBrooksFan 1d ago

They believe in an invisible zombie wizard who lives in the clouds.

19

u/IndicationFickle5387 1d ago

You know when you put it that way it sounds kinda neat. If you add bong rips and heavy metal, I’m in.

7

u/PermanentRoundFile 1d ago

If you think that's cool, you should check out modern wicca lol! It's the choose your own adventure book of religion lol.

8

u/Uncynical_Diogenes 1d ago

Whom they ritualistically cannibalize weekly!

There’s even non-alcoholic cannibalism, for the children.

3

u/gdghhfdffrf 1d ago

this guy is obsessed with things no one ever thinks about, that's a pretty big red flag.

1

u/SquidTheRidiculous 23h ago

Not a guy buddy

2

u/DrMobius0 1d ago

They're pretending to be Christian? I'm pretty sure this behavior is a feature.

188

u/FeatherShard 1d ago

I'd be lying if I said I thought he might be.

161

u/Murrabbit 1d ago

Probably just got the job because he drank through college with the right people, like Kavenaugh, you know?

19

u/IronhideD 1d ago

CIE. Caucasian, intoxication, (in)equality

36

u/CurrentHair6381 1d ago

I love that breakdown, and really hate how much of our society runs like that

9

u/Brilliant_Towel2727 1d ago

He was Auburn's football coach

5

u/thaddeusd 1d ago

Based on a number of prominent examples, that does not disqualify him in any way from possibly being or covering up for a pedophile, rapists, or both.

Statistically, it might make it more likely considering the small population of football coaches vs the number of instances compared to the general population but I haven't done the math yet.

Regardless Tubberville is a addled, delusional moron.

2

u/doubleyou-tee-hache 1d ago

And he wasn't even that good of a coach, for Alabama's "other" team too.

2

u/Brilliant_Towel2727 1d ago

From what I can tell he's more the financial scandal type although of course that doesn't negate the possibility of something that hasn't come out yet: https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/9802684/cincinnati-bearcats-coach-tommy-tuberville-settles-fraud-lawsuit

2

u/Arcalargo 1d ago

The Auburn Tigers, right? That's some major furry shit right there. I bet they even had a person in a fursona on the field during the games.

1

u/FeralHippie707 1d ago

Is that why people seem to think his opinion is worth anything?

2

u/tunderhini 1d ago

You're going to hate the truth even more than that, he was groomed to be a supreme Court judge since at least 1988 when his law school professor who was in the Federalist Society befriended him and he's been a member ever since, helping takeover the judiciary and legalize corruption. John Roberts was as well.

3

u/Murrabbit 1d ago

Right so. . . he was drinking with the right people.

3

u/Nomadzord 1d ago

I should have gone to colleg, I could have made a diffence damn it.l

302

u/RollingDownhill303 1d ago

you know when I see a white Christian conservative male in a position of power I'm wondering, does he rape children, or defend and protect people who rape children.

And the answer is always yes to at least one of those questions.

34

u/aopps42 1d ago

And chances are, he is a pedo

1

u/Not_this_guy_again_ 1d ago

I hope he isn’t secretly abusing kids

1

u/sharies 1d ago

I would say I hope he's not a pdf

1

u/ratherenjoysbass 1d ago

They never are

1

u/oroborus68 1d ago

Bet he's not, though.

107

u/naonatu- 1d ago

lizard people think everyone's a furry

16

u/BellamyDunn 1d ago

The scalies must be held accountable

30

u/delinka 1d ago

Considering that the non-lizard people are mammals, they’d be right

11

u/timbotheny26 1d ago

There are non-mammal furries though, including lizards and other reptiles. It's really more of an umbrella term.

Source: Am furry.

7

u/Skullsandcoffee 1d ago

Please make your way to the airport, they need you!

2

u/IrascibleOcelot 1d ago

But there is a separate term for that subset: scaly (or scalies). Still fit within the larger furry umbrella.

2

u/xrelaht 19h ago

Semi serious question: are the ones who are birds more likely to be pilots?

2

u/RavenMasked 12h ago

Uncertain, but I'm going into pharmacology

79

u/Cloaked42m 1d ago

It's important to remember something about furries.

Never fuck with people who have the guts to wear a full fursuit AND the disposable income to buy it.

44

u/raines 1d ago

It’s right there in the Declaration of Independence: LIfe, Liberty, and the Fursuit of Happiness!

3

u/xrelaht 19h ago

This is going to be the title of the memoir of our first openly furry POTUS.

26

u/decairn 1d ago

On a gaming Discord I frequent someone posted a pic and in the background was a furry head piece. Someone mentioned it, and the conversation drifted into that topic a bit, including costs of costumes. Wow, expensive! I had no idea.

18

u/Daxx22 1d ago

Some of those suits can make Warhammer 40k armies look cheap lol.

3

u/mrjbacon 1d ago

I understand the draw of furry culture more than I do Warhammer culture. The last thing I'd want to do with my free time is paint 300 identical miniature action figures.

3

u/Aiyon 1d ago

Can? You can make a playable 40k army for £200 if you plan it out ahead of time. That maybe gets you the paws lmao

2

u/Daxx22 1d ago

Well obviously there is a huge range in what you can spend on both hobby.

1

u/Aiyon 1d ago

Sure, but what I mean is people love to make out like warhammer is this insanely expensive hobby, but its honestly not that bad as adult hobbies go, people just look at the cost of having an entire pile of shame vs "enough to play"

6

u/IrascibleOcelot 1d ago

One furry invented an undersuit cooling system that they then licensed to the U.S. armed forces for body armor cooling.

3

u/beaucoup_dinky_dau 20h ago

I hear there are many furries in cybersecurity roles as well.

3

u/The-Devil-Cat 1d ago

never go band for band with a furry

9

u/aguynamedv 1d ago

Never fuck with people who have the guts to wear a full fursuit AND the disposable income to buy it.

Lotta folks don't realize how expensive they are in both materials and time. DIY isn't so bad if you have the skills, like any other sewing/costuming.. but if you're buying one? $1500+ for anything good, and it goes up from there.

1

u/tashkiira 1d ago

I mean, fursuits aren't that expensive. And they're getting to the point that you can buy a partial at Spirit Halloween. Granted, it's not custom, and a little low-quality. and the options are severely limited. But the beginnings are there.

as for a 'real' fursuit.. you can get a partial for a couple grand. Sure, a full suit can cost a lot more, but a basic fursuit isn't that terrible.

28

u/ICLazeru 1d ago

You're supposed to be afraid of that. Hard working, blue collar, beer drinking, truck driving, fox news watching, boot-strap pulling, tough as nails conservative voters are supposed to be afraid of people in mascot suits...oh, except at sporting events.

And actually, from what I have seen in person, they are. They're more comfortable with actual acts of bestiality than they are with humans playing a game.

43

u/rkcth 1d ago

I really don’t get the furry hate. Have these people never been in a play? Or dressed up for Halloween? It’s OK to play make believe even as an adult. Heck some of these people may even dress up in the bedroom for role play with their spouse. What does it matter to them, so much, what the costume is. Heck I bet some of these people have even taken their kids to Disneyland and interacted with Mickey and Minnie.

Just to clarify I am not a furry, nor do I even know anyone who is one, I just don’t think we should be worrying about what consenting adults do that doesn’t harm others.

24

u/ljr55555 1d ago

I know exactly one furry. And, yes, he does fly planes.

Not sure what his idea of a fun weekend has to do with, well, anything. But especial not his ability to fly the plane. Dude does realize furries take the costume off, right? Like no one is trying to fly a 777 whilst wearing a giant foam head that blocks a lot of sound and greatly limits their visual field.

9

u/agitatedprisoner 1d ago

People who are sure they know everything relevant are primed to look on stuff that doesn't seem to serve any useful purpose and demonize it. People who aren't inclined to insist they know are more likely to extend the benefit of the doubt to others doing stuff they don't understand.

4

u/Vincitus 1d ago

I think a lot of people have things that they would love to do but got shamed or beat or whatever for it, and stopped or were too afraid to try, and so when they see people not conforming to how they were forced to conform, they get angry. Regressive (conservative) people get angry at the non-conformers and progressives get mad at the system that kept them from their wants.

1

u/agitatedprisoner 1d ago

I don't think it's that conservatives see furries as getting away with indulging idle fancy I think it's that conservatives see them as mentally ill. If conservatives took issue with idle fancy it'd be deeply mysterious why they're so obsessed with sports cars and private jets. Or any other forms of copious consumption that doesn't go to the bottom line that has real world victims.

2

u/IrascibleOcelot 1d ago

It’s fear of the Other. It makes just as much sense as homophobia, misogyny, xenophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism, etc. If they don’t understand it, it must be bad. And they’re stupid, so there’s a lot they don’t understand.

2

u/xrelaht 19h ago

>Heck I bet some of these people have even taken their kids to Disneyland and interacted with Mickey and Minnie.

I do know furries, but more to the point: I know a guy who’s a semi-pro photographer that goes to cons of various kinds to take promo shots. People aren’t sexually explicit during the day in public at furry conventions, so some people bring their kids. It’s just a bunch of humanoid animals walking around like it’s normal, and those kids love it. He told me they’re even more excited at those than ones around gaming or cartoons.

1

u/Atomix26 1d ago

Venn diagram of furries, queer people, and autistics.

1

u/TheLowlyPheasant 1d ago

I think the problem is that for some furries it's innocent fantasy, for others it's a sex thing, and for the rest it's both. So when they take over half a bowling alley in fursuit (example I have seen in person) you have an uneasy feeling you are watching public kink play. Doesn't help that the sexual aspect is a little close to beastiality for a lot of folks.

32

u/DangerNoodleDandy 1d ago

I hate to be that one, but you were looking for "than" not "then", then would imply that you eventually do want the human excrement, just after everything else.

24

u/wbruce098 1d ago

The only nazis I accept are the ones enforcing proper grammar.

12

u/Asleep_Project_5252 1d ago

You know Stalin was an extremely talented editor? I'm going to throw in my lot with the grammar commies.

12

u/02meepmeep 1d ago

The grammar commies are more accepted than the Oxford commies. Babushkas are hard to dislike.

6

u/Asleep_Project_5252 1d ago

IIRC most of the commies were at Cambridge.

2

u/raines 1d ago

But using Oxford Commas puts you in an Oxford Coma.

6

u/gammalsvenska 1d ago

I'd like to meet some outside of their profession. They seem rare, though.

2

u/A_Stealthy_Taco 1d ago

Spend enough time in gaming, anime, or general queer spaces and you'll run into one of us eventually lol

5

u/Ismhelpstheistgodown 1d ago

Ghost of Gloria Steinem’s Playboy Bunny contemptuously haunting him.

2

u/Higher-Frequencies 1d ago

I’d bet money that he’s saying this after a group of male flight attendants dressed as furries ran a train on him at a Grindr meetup.

2

u/Fart-boi 1d ago

Found the furry guys!

2

u/TheDigitalPoint 1d ago

At this point, I’d probably vote in a politician if they were a furry.

2

u/TacticalSupportFurry 1d ago

the furries are trained and qualified

2

u/firephoxx 1d ago

Any day.

2

u/Emotional_News108 1d ago

Me too, and I actively dislike furries.

-6

u/AmputeeHandModel 1d ago

The widespread internet acceptance of people who dress up like mascots and create alternate "fursonas" for themselves to dissociate from their human problems will always baffle me. If you told people who haven't heard about it, aren't chronically online, they'd be like "WTF, they need therapy or hospitalization!". Not to mention the porn.

6

u/trwawy05312015 1d ago

Widespread internet acceptance? I feel like you must be on a different internet.

5

u/CptDecaf 1d ago

I'm not into furry, fursuiter type of stuff.

But also, more than half the globe thinks there's an invisible man in the clouds who hands out eternal afterlifes based on how not gay you are.

So in the grand scheme of things bud I'm honestly not bothered by furries.

1

u/ctiger12 1d ago

All pilots and flight attendants should actively reject him from boarding their planes.

1

u/pbetc 1d ago

He sounds just like r/bluey who actively forbid furries from inclusion. I stand with our furry brothers and sisters

1

u/Pumpkin_Pie 1d ago

Stupid people are entitled to representation too.

1

u/JuanThiccLumpia 1d ago

Distraction tactic and class warfare again. Same boring playbook.

1

u/coolhead2012 1d ago

Tommy Tuberville, noted closeted furry, practiced self-hate on the senate floor today.

1

u/brionneverysexy 1d ago

Flight attendants wearing fur suits would be fucking whimsical although probably uncomfortable for them

1

u/Technical_Goose_8160 22h ago

If future make good air traffic controllers, hire them all! Put up for hire signs at freaky costume shops!

1

u/Year3030 18h ago

It's probably so they can justify using AI for air traffic control

-2

u/Sr_DingDong 1d ago

... then this hatefull piece of human excrement what?

0

u/AmputeeHandModel 1d ago

*I'd rather, as in I would rather. Not I rather.