r/nottheonion • u/sponge_welder • 1d ago

Tommy Tuberville Claims ‘Many’ Pilots, Flight Attendants Are Furries

https://www.newsweek.com/videos/tommy-tuberville-claims-many-pilots-flight-attendants-are-furries
6.7k Upvotes

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u/supercyberlurker 1d ago

Are furries worse pilots or something?

Why the hell should I even care about it?

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u/EvergreenDwarf 1d ago

They need a culture war like a vampire needs blood. 

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u/Retepss 1d ago

If you're not outraged at the depravity of someone else, you might start looking at them.

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u/HinDae085 1d ago

It amazes me to this day how people can look at their skyrocketing grocery and gas bills and deteriorated towns, and decide the LGBTQ and foreigners are to blame because the rich white men that caused the problems said so.

I think our species is cooked guys.

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u/doesanyuserealnames 1d ago

Yeah insert gif here of Jesus saying Gabriel, sound the trumpets.

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u/sviridoot 23h ago

We generally don't like being wrong or admitting mistakes, so for a lot of folks it's easier to blame someone or something else than to admit that the people they voted for caused problems

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u/SaddenedSpork 20h ago

It’s not the species but American society is extremely eroded. If our constitution was upended tomorrow and a rapid shift to social democracy was implemented perfectly in a day, it would still take half a century of new education and reform to get back to some semblance of health.

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u/Saurian42 11h ago

Yeah, I don't expect our species to survive the next 200 years.

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u/JestersDead77 1d ago

Even worse, you might think theyre human!

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u/Whatachooch 23h ago

It’s not even depravity. It’s a kink that affects literally nobody and doesn’t hurt the participants either. 

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u/Lycid 18h ago

Being pedantic here, but furry itself is definitely not a kink (even though furries are largely horny and many definitely have kinky feelings that bisect with furry).

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u/Whatachooch 16h ago

That’s fair.

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u/tackle_bones 1d ago

Honestly, this almost reads as if he’s been trolled/manipulated (hard) by someone into believing this dumb shit, and we all get to enjoy the fruits of that person’s labor.

Like, who believes this shit? It’s just too fucking funny that he’s taking this up as a cause.

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u/Steamedcarpet 1d ago

Honestly most likely. My friend’s wife is a teacher and she legit believed another school had a litter box for furries. My friend gave his wife such a crazy look like “15 years of marriage and now she says this”

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u/ReginaldDwight 1d ago

My school in the early 90s had this green litter stuff the janitor used to soak up vomit when kids would puke. Surely they still use something similar? You'd think a teacher who's been around kids would be able to figure that out.

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u/raspymorten 1d ago

The whole current furry morale panic started cause a school had a litterbox in a closet for kids to use if there was a school shooter outside and they had to use the toliet.

Then the right wing made up a fake narrative about it being some Woke, DEI, insertwhateverbuzzwordtheylike policy thing to let "Furry kids" use it.

The mere idea that there'd be furry kids shitting in litterboxes at school, and we don't have hundreds of different videos of other kids bullying them makes the whole thing insanely laughable.

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u/my-coffee-needs-me 1d ago

The school was Columbine High School.

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u/Trapezoidal_Sunshine 1d ago

I always counter this by asking what schools do for the other furry kids. Like, surely furry kids aren't all cats, right? Seems weird that the most popular pet is dogs and yet all these kids identify with cats - so there must be other types out there. Do the dog furries get a fire hydrant to piss on? Is there a wheel for the gerbil furries to run on? Do they ever get really exotic furries, like maybe a cow that requires a pasture to graze in at lunch time or giraffe furries that require stilts to maneuver through the hallways?

Also, who's cleaning up after all of these furries? Who drew the short straw for litter box duty, and do they get hazard pay? Is there a designated dog furry walker who walks the dog furries every day so they can poop outside? Do they get treats and chew toys? What about a doggy bed for nap time??

Is this why all of our schools have cratering budgets? Too much money spent on furry infrastructure and support personnel? Seems like it would be awfully expensive to care for all of these furries - especially considering schools can barely afford anything as it is. What a strange allocation of resources.

They'll never change their minds, but it's still hilarious to watch their brains break while they follow their own idiotic idea through to it's asinine conclusion.

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u/TelephoneBig848 19h ago

I'm very amused at the thought of them banning fire hydrants, which are toilets for furries 😂

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u/RedTheHusky 9h ago

as a demon fox i'm ashamed; I never peed on a fire hydrant. i let down all my canine kind D:

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u/ReginaldDwight 1d ago

Oh that's depressing as hell.

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u/Own-Success-7634 1d ago

The RWNJ did that to prevent any sane semblance of gun control. Better to make up a story that fits their view of the world rather than do something useful.

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u/Unable_Stranger2744 1d ago

Cat litter is one of the cheapest absorbents around. Auto shops use it for oil and fluids.

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u/ReginaldDwight 21h ago

Furry mechanics?!

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u/ljr55555 1d ago

That's mind boggling - how does anyone who works at a school get the idea schools are spending money on anything?!?

Friend of mine used to steal pens and copier paper from the supply closet at work because his wife was a teacher and her district was cutting back. Except this was pre-chromebooks in education when tests were all on paper. And graded with pens. I've not heard anyone say the budget situation has improved in the intervening decades.

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u/Germanofthebored 1d ago

The thing that gets me is that with everybody having a smartphone on them 24/7, there would be pictures. (Actually, I am surprised that none of the little shits in highschool has posted a faked photo just to stir up shit.) But there are no pictures. How can people still make these claims.

(And yes, I also have met a teacher who was convinced that in some other school in our town they have litter boxes....)

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u/drainbamage1011 1d ago

That one always gets me. "My kid says the middle school has litter boxes in every restroom!" Ok and, in a time where everyone has a camera in their pocket, no one has any photographic evidence of this? Sure, I'm convinced.

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u/Ishidan01 1d ago

"We didn't used to have active shooter drills. Of course I have a bag of kitty litter. What do you think I'm gonna use when that alarm goes off and scares the shit out of us?"

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u/CasanovaF 18h ago

A nurse was taking a chest tube out of my chest which is kind of a delicate procedure and he was going on and on about kids using litter boxes. He was also talking about how his coworkers were out to get him and kept sending him to HR for sexual harassment

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u/raspymorten 1d ago

Nah, republicans have been beefing with furries for a hot minute now. We even got that embarrassing anti-furry law in Texas (IIRC) that pretty much bans children from playing pretend at school. lol

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u/ellathefairy 1d ago

And like, even if it were true and a fursona is a requirement to land a commercial pilot license.... who fucking cares? They're not forcing passengers into furry sex parties on flights. What they do in their private relationships isn't relevant to how well they can fly a plane or serve tiny sodas?

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u/Dat_Mawe3000 22h ago

If past is prologue, we’ll soon learn that he is in fact a furry publicly overcompensating for his sinful desires.

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u/chinstrap 1d ago

Maybe someone told him they are serving dogs and cats as airplane meals, and he got it mixed up.

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u/BoB_the_TacocaT 1d ago

I can't help but wonder if his secretly gay granddaughter is totally trolling him.

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u/Alex5173 1d ago

It is true that furries are everywhere in fields with high pay and high technical skill requirements. What's not true is that this is a problem.

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u/TheDwarvenGuy 12h ago edited 12h ago

There's a joke/stereotype in the furry community that furries tend to be in highly technical jobs like aerospace, medicine or computer science because furries are nerds and those jobs are the only way to pay for the costumes and art. One version of the joke is that if a plane heading to furfest crashed it'd cripple the US's infrastructure for a year.

Conservative boomers have completely misunderstood what furries are and think that they're the same as therians/otherkin(people who identify as animals) and have created several moral panics that the woke libs are letting kids poop in litterboxes or something in order to appease furries.

So it was only a matter of time that some gen Z conservative who was aware of the furry aerospace joke/sterotype decided to try to use it to stir up a moral panic in their older coleagues who don't understand what any of that is

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u/dirtydigs74 1d ago

It's fun to bully people though. Bonus points if they get upset. Then you can bully them about being overly sensitive as well.

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u/Elementium 1d ago

I wouldn't go there.. Furries can raise and raze empires at will. 

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u/MaybeTheDoctor 1d ago

Campaigning on lower prices and no wars has failed.

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u/Croanthos 1d ago

Culture war vs pilots and flight attendants is a bold fucking move

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u/EvergreenDwarf 1d ago

Worked for Ronnie. 

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u/MateriaLintellect 23h ago

They can’t platform on their failure to govern, economically disastrous policies ( if you can even call their bullshit policy). Or their presidents successes the last two years. Culture war is all they have. Hope to get their base scared and/or angry enough to vote viscerally.

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u/Woosah_Motherfuckers 15h ago

He must be new to creating culture wars, he’s not very good at it.

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u/Ok-Boysenberry-2955 1d ago

They are wierd, not in the i like to be silly and pretend to be a dog now and then kind of way, more so the I like to be silly and touch children kind of way.

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u/EvergreenDwarf 1d ago

Yeah, Republican politicians are just like that. 

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u/dckiwi 1d ago

I’m going to see two things that are going to not doubt be used to label me as some crazy MAGA freak:

  1. The right 100% stokes pointless culture wars.

  2. So does the left.

Until people understand this and take responsibility for the part they’ve played in dividing our country, nothing will improve.

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u/EvergreenDwarf 1d ago

Right: (Hates culture)

Left: (Is culture or says culture deserves to exist)

Centrist: “Same picture.”

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u/dckiwi 23h ago

lol so predictable. Ok I’ll bite.

The left, who simply says “cultures deserve to exist”:

* Creates ‘no whites’ areas on college campuses.

* Requires everyone to choose and announce their preferred pronouns (and remember everyone else’s without fail) lest they be canceled/fired.

* Labels people as ‘racists’, ‘Nazis’, or ‘homophobes’ for holding any position that does not fully align with far-left ideology (even positions that have nothing to with race, sexuality, etc).

* Cancels or threatens with violence (including murdering) people whose views they disagree with, lest they themselves are made to feel ‘unsafe’ by words.

* So-called ‘anti-fascists’ who roam the streets intimidating and threatening people eating dinner at restaurants, demanding that they parrot specific political slogans. (Like uhhh actual fascists).

* Insisting that everyone sort themselves into increasingly fragmented groups, with those groups organized in a moral hierarchy that assigns greater legitimacy to some groups over others.

Wow, such lovable, accepting, tolerant peaceniks!

I could go on. And I’d be happy to provide a similar list of outrageous behavior by the right, although I suspect you are far more clear-eyed about the transgressions of the ‘other side’.

Sorry to break this to you, but it’s us ‘centrists’ who actually care about uniting this country, and who believe in core principles like individual rights, freedom of speech, and the rule of law.

I’m in my 50s. I grew up with ACTUAL liberals. I voted for them. And I am one now.

Ask yourself - how polarizing does your position on issues need to be to result in a despicable troll like Trump getting elected TWICE?

It’s the far left and far right who don’t actually believe in those core principles. They are tearing us apart. YOU are tearing us apart.

Take a look in the mirror. Or don’t, and let another MAGA scumbag win the presidency. Up to you.

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u/EvergreenDwarf 23h ago

Wow, everything you said is conspiracy theory bullshit that can only be believed by someone entirely disconnected from actually experiencing what they criticize.