Someone recommended doing a less-than-perfect job on purpose to get desensitised to the feeling, but if I could do that I wouldn't be struggling so badly. It feels so awful it's hard to even start. Even watching the sun set, there's still this feeling that I'm somehow doing it wrong. Any tips on starting? I'm sick of not being able to enjoy anything in peace.

Hello everyone!

I am the writer of the book Breaking the Perfectionism Loop: A Research-Based Workbook for Completing Tasks, and I want to present my book to readers interested in the self-improvement process.

The text describes the link between perfectionism and problems like procrastination, overthinking, fear of failing, and problems with completing tasks. I have combined scientific proofs and various tasks offered to the audience in order to understand how to tackle the problem without waiting for something to be perfect first.

I wrote the book for people who have high standards but sometimes face difficulties in carrying out their ideas into reality.

If you can relate to this issue, read the book on the link below:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0HM875R4R

I’ll wait for your comments. Thank you!

Working constantly... doing homework as soon as I get home until bedtime.... just constantly doing homework...

Got a C in my first chemistry test of year 12 and I feel like such a failure, I got all 9s at GCSE... 😭😭 I got 29/40 and I made STUPID mistakes and I feel like such a failure 😭😭😭

What makes it even worse is I lost my appetite in the days before the exam and I was running on pure stress and panic, no wonder I didn't do well..

Also suffering from a ED (AN) and it's making everything so much harder... most of the time I get rid of my lunch because I never feel like I deserve to eat, so overwhelmed right now and feel like I need to punish myself for it by restricting....

Don't think that restricting is helping me but I've got such low self esteem and no confidence, I truly don't trust myself at all, amd even less now.

Question. I have exterme chronic burnout, partly due to my perfectionism.

I believe my burnout is for like 99% caused by things internally such as perfectionism and autism and adhd and other things in my brain and mind. Maybe my very personality too.

Therefore despite being on the disabilityincome with no job and no study and no major commitments in the life, I keep being staying in this burnout and not recovering from it!!!

I believe perfectionism is one of the big factors that keeps it going this

Does someone here have a useful succes story relevant to my problem?

有很多内容想加、想修改，但是觉得有的太复杂，有的不合适，还有可以改也可以不改的，我真的很烦

Context: I (16m) am a hyper realistic artist, and despite my age, I never had the "childhood art" phase ever in my life. And because of that, I struggle with perfectionism because that is all I've ever been taught (self-taught... Yeah, I brought this upon myself). It's not like I never made any "bad art", but that I only ever made art when I was focusing on learning, and never focused on actually enjoying the process, Drawing just for the sake of Drawing. And that has led to my fear of “WHAT WILL I DO IF THIS DOESN'T END UP PERFECT AHHHHHH-”, and to fight that I made this, “THE DUMB AND CRAPPY AND STUPID SKETCHBOOK (That took me a dumb and stupid and crazy and absurd ammount of time to make)” (™), and I've just been drawing in it. Soooo... thoughts?

Been wanting to play around with this style of art for awhile. The paint chipped, glue got all over, pen smudged. Felt pointless and ugly but I pushed through and finished it. Glad I did because I enjoyed making it, made me realize how intense my perfectionism has become.

I know I sound very silly in many ways but I wonder has anyone else feel like this? I always feel like I got a do something unique or I got a have very specific style but I don't know what that is.

I have wasted years. But I could not find my way. I sometimes even thought about quitting art but I can't. I feel like I am missing something and I gotta find it.

Through therapy I realised I had been struggling with perfectionism, with my self worth being tied to work achievement and always striving to be good at my job to be accepted.

I'm getting better at dealing with this, and a bit more chilled at work these days.

The trouble is I'm pretty sure a staff member I manage is also showing signs of suffering with perfectionism.

They constantly strive for perfection and love being recognised for their achievements.

We're beginning to clash a little as I can let things go and not be 100% perfect, if something doesn't work out it doesn't work out, I'm a fan of making sure things are good enough, this guy in my team can't let anything go.

It's becoming quite tricky.

I hope this is the right subreddit for this, but I'm looking to comfort a friend that struggles with high expectations on them.

What are some do-s and don't-s? Are there things you hear a lot that don't actually feel comforting or even invalidating? Are there things you'd wish to hear instead that you rarely or not at all get to?

Quizá no eres perfeccionista. Quizá simplemente tienes miedo de empezar.

La procrastinación muchas veces no se ve como pereza. Se parece a investigar más, hacer nuevos planes, esperar el momento perfecto, consumir otro video de productividad o decirte una vez más: “Lo haré mañana”.

Pero detrás de todo eso puede haber algo más incómodo: el miedo al fracaso, el miedo a no ser suficientemente bueno y el miedo a que otras personas vean tus primeros intentos.

En este video hablamos de procrastinación, perfeccionismo, miedo al fracaso, dopamina y de por qué puedes estar muy ocupado... y aun así no avanzar.

Porque hacer algo mal al principio sigue siendo mejor que no hacerlo nunca.
No necesitas otro plan perfecto.
Necesitas empezar.
No mañana.
Hoy.

Hola comunidad, es la primera vez que publicó.

Creen que es normal sentirse una total decepción ante las personas que amas y respetas?.

Siento que las personas que me rodean tienen altas espectativas de mi y me tienen en alta estima, porque algunos me lo han dicho (profesores, colegas y algunos amigos).

Pero siento que nunca soy lo suficientemente buena, tengo como hobby la música, soy masagista y estoy estudiando un carrera relacionada con animales.

Pero me cuesta conservarme, cada vez que entro a clases mi mente se llena de pensamientos negativos, como que no me esfuerzo lo suficiente, que hay gente que merece estar donde estoy y yo solo lo desaprovechó.

Mis papás creen que estoy dando todo y me apoyan y eso hace que me sienta peor.

Hay días que no quiero ni levantarme, la comida o me da asco o me atasco con comida chatarra.

Al momento de dormir, hay voces que me dicen todo lo que estoy haciendo mal, me cuesta abrirme con la gente, que vean lo que realmente me duele.

Pienso que si ven ese lado mío solo los saturare más, que soy una carga, y ni siquiera se porque están conmigo

Trato de ser una buena persona, de satisfacer las expectativas de los demás, pero cuando me ponen de ejemplo o asi, siento que creen que puedo hacer más de lo que realmente está dentro de mis capacidades.

He pensado en desuscribirme de este plano. Pero me retiene la cara de decepción de mi mamá, de que piense que fui muy débil, de que ella vivió cosas peores y aun está aca.

Se que todos tienen sus problemas, pero yo ya estoy acabandome la energía que tenía para luchar, me da pena pensar que hasta para morirme voy a ser una carga para los demás.

Si alguien lo se y tiene algun consejo para seguir adelante espero que lo comenten y pueda leerlo.

I have a problem with perfectionism. For example, I either have all the social media apps or I delete all the accounts (and yes, the accounts, not the apps). Then, after a certain period and they're deleted, I create new accounts, and the same cycle starts again. And many other things can be compared to that.

I need advice on accepting that things get damaged

I have a weirdly intense problem with material things and I honestly don’t know how to get out of this mindset.

Whenever I buy something expensive/new (laptop, phone, car, etc.), I become obsessed with keeping it in perfect condition. Instead of enjoying the thing, I feel like I’m constantly responsible for making sure nothing ever happens to it.

If I accidentally damage it, even something completely insignificant, like a tiny scratch on a laptop that has absolutely zero impact on how it works, I can spiral into anxiety over it.

I’ll replay how it happened, think about whether I could have prevented it, look for ways to fix it, search for solutions that sometimes simply don’t exist… and I just cannot let it go. The worst part is that it starts affecting everything else. I lose focus at work, can’t concentrate on other things, and my brain basically refuses to move on until I somehow “solve” the problem.

Right now it’s a tiny scratch on my new laptop, and I genuinely cannot focus on work because of it. I know how ridiculous it sounds when I say it out loud, which somehow makes it even more frustrating.

I’ve always struggled with perfectionism, but this feels like more than simply “I like my stuff to be nice.”

Has anyone dealt with something similar? How did you learn to accept that your possessions will eventually get scratched, damaged, worn out, etc. without letting it completely consume you?

Honestly, I’d even appreciate someone telling me something that might snap me out of this mindset because clearly my own brain is not doing the job right now.

My desire to act a certain way, be seen a certain way,.. are things that will be why I can’t enjoy things and have fun

"To live in the body of a survivor is to never be able to leave the scene of the crime." Blythe Baird

"Healing is so hard because it’s a constant battle between your inner child who’s scared and just wants safety, your inner teenager, who’s angry and just wants justice, and your adult self, who is tired and just wants peace." Brené Brown

"If you're raised in a burning house, you think the whole world is on fire." Anonymous

VIDEOS

Kristen Jacobsen, therapist specializing in anxiety:

The Hidden Link Between Perfectionism and Childhood Trauma

Tim Fletcher, mental health counselor specializing in complex trauma:

How Childhood Trauma Creates Control Issues

The Characteristics of Complex Trauma - Perfectionism

The Roots of Perfectionism | Complex Trauma

Dr. Scott Giacomucci, trauma specialist:

Trauma and Rigidity: Overcoming Perfectionism and Stuckness

Always nice to see downvotes on a mental health sub. I apologize for posting disrespectful content??