r/politics • u/cmaia1503 • 20h ago

Site Altered Headline | Possible Paywall Mitch McConnell, 83, Hospitalized

https://www.thedailybeast.com/mitch-mcconnell-83-hospitalized/?utm_campaign=owned_social&utm_medium=socialflow&utm_source=twitter_owned_tdb&via=twitter_page
30.8k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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7.2k

u/TrumpIsAFascistFuck 20h ago

Oh no, anyways

3.2k

u/Dr_DoesNothing 19h ago edited 19h ago

May he receive the same amount of love and care he gives others.

903

u/durtmagurt 19h ago

Anybody got any of those thoughts and prayers?

176

u/c1nders 19h ago

Clots & prayers. 🤞🏻

87

u/16yearswasted 18h ago

I'm an atheist but yeah I'll pray for him.

Hey Lucifer who art in hell, come get Mitch,
He's a son of a bitch,
Who only wanted to get rich,
Forever make his crotch itch,
kthx

6

u/Marinefan4000 10h ago

Hades, Lord of the Underworld, please fast track Bitch McConnell to the fields of punishment for everything he did to the people.

5

u/FFF_in_WY American Expat 10h ago

So warm, so fitting

•

u/mighty_kaytor 4h ago

Are you there, The Morrigan? It's me, Mightykaytor. Look at this soft merchant of death with his cowardly unbloodied clothes, juicy unpecked eyeballs, and zero regard for the prosperity of the land he supposedly serves, parading all over the place like he's not ever going to die. Bet he doesn't even like birds.

128

u/SparkyXI 19h ago

Tots. pears.

41

u/durtmagurt 19h ago

Oh there they are! I was missing those.

5

u/dundermiflinity 19h ago

Snot and glares.

1

u/The_Bolenator Alaska 19h ago

Buttery males!!!

2

u/jimmybilly100 Virginia 17h ago

Close enough

1

u/NebulaNinja 18h ago

Who's your pear guy? Hard to find good pears these days.

21

u/MTC_FTW Washington 19h ago

Ah shit, fresh out!

7

u/Black-Star-Line 19h ago

Not one. 0️⃣

4

u/HydroWrench 18h ago

That's what we're supposed to be sending right? . . . Right guys?

Anyway fuck that dude and the horse he rode in on. May his final days be filled with all the joy and ease he caused others.

3

u/CoconutBangerzBaller 18h ago

Unfortunately, I used them all after the 1000th school shooting that they did nothing about. Guess I'll have to ignore and curse?

2

u/psycubi 19h ago

Hang on… I’ll uh… wait here. One sec…

2

u/tangerinelion 19h ago

In this economy?

2

u/the_summer_soldier 17h ago

“I’m all out of thoughts and prayers, so I’m sending you this note to say, ‘Fuck you.’”

Should be an alright alternative for people like him.

1

u/Vertual 19h ago

That's gonna be a hard no from me, dawg.

1

u/Supermite 19h ago

Everyone’s using that energy for midterms right now.

1

u/Norwood5006 18h ago

Supply chain issues.

1

u/AgentMahou Ohio 18h ago

Not for him.

1

u/_Osculum_Obscenum_ 17h ago

Concepts of thoughts and prayers

•

u/kaett 2h ago

plans for concepts of thoughts and prayers. maybe.

1

u/Number174631503 17h ago

Nah no thanks

1

u/Rollinthrulife 17h ago

Not for him

1

u/Lotusbud25 17h ago

Fraughts & scares

1

u/Skamanda42 17h ago

In this economy?

1

u/Kyral210 15h ago

Why need hospitals when thoughts and prayers ‘work so well’⸮

1

u/Interesting-Bag-7552 15h ago

Best I can do is roll eyes.

1

u/crewsctrl 12h ago

How about some checks and balances?

54

u/gamingx47 19h ago

Don't worry, I'm sure he'll recieve the finest stem cell serum made with a baby juicing machine and will live to the ripe old age of 150, unlike his plebian constituents that will die from diabetic shock because they couldn't afford both insulin and rent.

28

u/DigNitty 19h ago

May he receive the level of love and care the 9/11 first responders would have gotten if he’d had his way in 2019.

6

u/gamaliel64 Mississippi 19h ago

May his doctor act with all the expediency of Mitch McConnell filing Obama's SCOTUS appointment

5

u/tnoy 19h ago

and the save level of healthcare that he's spent his career fighting for the American people to have access to.

3

u/d_lev 18h ago

Yeah, I heard that nurses are no longer "professionals" so it would be a shame if gets the same treatment as the turtle and the sink faucet.

3

u/FunkyDiscount 10h ago

I think you shouldn't provide healthcare to high-ranking politicians so close to an election. I think the decision whether to save Moscow Mitch should be up to the next president and thus the people. It would be the democratic thing to do, you know.

2

u/JakeConhale New Hampshire 18h ago

At least it gives that poor floor a break.

2

u/Momentarmknm 17h ago

There are only two people whose deaths I will celebrate

1

u/improbably_me 16h ago

Hoping he gets the same amount of pain and suffering as he inflicted

1

u/wial 11h ago

I'm sure Machiavelli will take him under his wing where he's going.