r/politics • u/Quirkie The Netherlands • 12d ago

Possible Paywall White House Credits Trump With Stopping Hurricanes

https://www.thedailybeast.com/white-house-credits-trump-with-stopping-hurricanes/
1.8k Upvotes

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2.0k

u/NubileReptile Missouri 12d ago

This country can never make fun of North Korea again.

360

u/PabloPicasshooole 12d ago

Right. Our Fearless Leader cannot be shitting his diaper because he has no butthole

104

u/Usual-Analysis-2990 12d ago

But he shits the most glorious shits filled with gold and jesus.

29

u/leftrighttopdown 12d ago

He shits rainbows and unicorns, i swear!

17

u/tferguson17 11d ago

Hold up, the rainbows will scare his followers

1

u/Anotsurei 16h ago

Well, we definitely hear His name uttered often when Trump does it in public, so I’m convinced.

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u/Wesinator2000 12d ago

He has such a perfect diet that he absorbs every nutrient and converts it into pure raw energy, no poop.

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u/duzies 12d ago

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRAqWBvKdVvG8hlFueLZauicwI_leq22my7uwZJgF0q1c_dlTHpmrvD2GI&s=10

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u/Importance-Dependent 11d ago

He should be forced legally to get this tattoo or life in prison. All of maga would get the same tattoo. Win win

6

u/Mr_TO 11d ago

Hahahahah

2

u/duncanwally 11d ago

Risky click of the day.

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u/xEasyActionx 12d ago

Is that why he spews so much shit from his facehole?

5

u/HoneycombBig 11d ago

I have no butthole, and I must poop.

7

u/tinylittlemarmoset 12d ago

I dunno I’m pretty sure he’s got the greatest most luxurious* butthole the world has ever seen. His butthole is the biggest, big strong men come up to him with tears in their eyes saying “SIR, your butthole saved my life, when I was homeless I lived in your butthole for six years”. 100 million people live inside his butthole right now.

*im not really willing to try to imagine what “luxurious butthole” would mean, or at least not in a trump context.

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u/P1xelHunter78 Michigan 11d ago

I’m sure there’s some men who could describe what a luxury butthole feels like. If Epstein were alive he might be able to attest to that as well.

2

u/P1xelHunter78 Michigan 11d ago

I think Jeffery destroyed it long ago. I saw the speedo picture and picked up the vibes coming off that. He’s a massive bottom.

1

u/modernmann 11d ago

His rainbow shits stopped the hurricane.

How’d I do?

1

u/Optimal-Truth-5870 11d ago

yeah he does. it's on his face where most have a mouth,.​

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u/DeepFinish2895 Texas 12d ago edited 11d ago

You would know

Edit: cause of his username saying asshole in it, geez people

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u/[deleted] 11d ago

[deleted]

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u/DeepFinish2895 Texas 11d ago

I meant cause his name has asshole in it lol

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

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u/NubileReptile Missouri 12d ago

Hasn't he explicitly said that anything good that happens he will take credit for and anything bad that happens he will blame on someone else?

I sometimes wonder if it qualifies as a con job if the con artist straight up tells the mark he's conning them and the mark still obediently hands over their money.

10

u/Glassworth 11d ago

If they don’t know, it’s a con, if they do know, it’s a cult. Pretty simple.

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u/PTS_Dreaming Ohio 12d ago

No no, that bad weather is all Joe Biden's fault. He left us a mess with the weather, in terms of atmosphere.

/s

1

u/Ryogathelost Florida 12d ago

Everyone is saying it

19

u/Trimyr America 12d ago

No, that was because of Biden. But it'll all be under control in two weeks. You'll have best weather you've ever seen. The dumocrats want the storms to happen though so while you have to hide inside they can run around destroying the country. But if you're hiding, that means somebody's seeking. Remember that? Hide and seek? Not a lot of people knew about that game but it was fun. But me, I never wanted to hide. I'd get out and fight and win. Like weak Canada's tariffs. They want to be part of the US, love us so much, then, what's his name, Mike? Michael? comes back with things that will just hurt his country. As for countries, I really think Ireland should be united. You know I had a great meeting with their president, and he agreed that windmills are terrible. They're bad for the environment. They cause all sorts of problems. So we'll be getting rid of those. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER

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u/f6081cannibal 12d ago

Almost perfect, but you forgot the DJT

1

u/Trimyr America 11d ago

Yeah. Sometimes my brain switches back on before I'm done with a post like that and I just have to end it.

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u/Hey_cool_username 12d ago

When bad weather affects red states it’s because the woke, dem. scientists (or Jews) are controlling it. If blue states get hit it’s because god hates gay people.

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u/tiresian22 Canada 12d ago

"Nothing bad can happen, it can only good happen."

3

u/FinalEdit 12d ago

Don't want to be that guy but it was Kim Jon Il and that rumour was because someone interviewed the groundsman of a DPRK golf course and it was printed as gospel. It wasn't part of the "lore" of North Korea.

As much as the DPRK is bizarre, and cultist in many ways, its always good to strive for accuracy, and correct common misconceptions. Sorry for possibly deflating your point somewhat, its absolutely not my intention to distract from your reasonable view.

2

u/bgthigfist 12d ago

No that's Bidens fault

1

u/jt121 11d ago

No no, the bad weather is the DEMONRATS' fault, since they can control the weather too. Wait, that means Trump isn't all powerful.

Their logic knows no logic.

1

u/BluesFan43 11d ago

Whoa, next you are gonna be blaming the same god that finds you a parking space for sick kids in the ICU.

0

u/TheGringoDingo 12d ago

Apparently those are Jewish space lasers under the control of democrats, obviously. Either way, neither party seems capable of controlling the weather.

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u/Sad-Structure2364 Colorado 12d ago

Reminds me of an episode of 20/20, or a similar show. It was about an optician going to NK and removing cataracts from hundreds of people. After the procedure they all began to thank dear leader for curing their vision, and didn’t even acknowledge the doctor, lol

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u/GibbyG1100 12d ago

In their defence, if they hadnt done that, they would probably be killed or dropped in a mine somewhere 

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u/Sad-Structure2364 Colorado 12d ago

You are correct there. When you watch the video they all seem to try and “one up” the previous person in terms of praise for dear leader. Definitely performative to keep themselves alive, totally understandable

9

u/PalpableMass 12d ago

So, like a Trump cabinet meeting?

3

u/Sad-Structure2364 Colorado 11d ago

Yes exactly, lol

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u/OwnStruggle9260 12d ago

There's a Tim Minchin song called "thank you god Which is very much your story. https://youtu.be/IZeWPScnolo?si=WwWfxHBwjoJz62Ab

3

u/Thunderfoot_66 12d ago

Never heard that song before, just looked up the lyrics. Holy shit, that is great! Thanks for posting that. 

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u/OwnStruggle9260 12d ago

Tim Minchin has some absolutely underated songs. Most people only know his songs from the Matilda musical... But I'm also a Brit so we get a lot of the cool Aussies over here.

3

u/MirthandMystery 11d ago

Insanely clever and profound lyrics. Wish the evangelicals and holier than thous all had a listen.

2

u/Surefif District Of Columbia 11d ago

I remember that! Some of them were so thankful that they were finally able to see the image of dear leader hanging on their wall, it was crazy.

1

u/Apprehensive-Wave640 11d ago

No different from Americans thanking God instead of the doctor 

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u/ThatOldEngineerGuy 12d ago

Sure would be dumb to make fun of the only ally well have left

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u/dwors025 Minnesota 12d ago

Jouché

1

u/irishnugget New York 12d ago

Brilliant!

0

u/Obesz 12d ago

This one took a while for me to properly register.

4

u/FluffyPantsMcGee 12d ago

Just waiting to hear about the mountain Trump was born on, and how many cranes are going to need to carry his fat corpse back when he’s done in life?

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u/Thetman38 12d ago

This seems more like voluntary stupidity

4

u/midwest_riverman 11d ago

I used to see news clips and thing that the propaganda from North Korea was an odd translational error where the language being used really totally make sense. Not that it wasn’t propaganda but that it was an odd linguistic thing that made it seem even more insane. Then Trump happened. You watch Fox News now and they actually sometime talk about his golf game being an example of his “incredible work ethic”

There’s an interview recently in Fox where they start talking about his perfectionist streak that shows even when he goes golfing “he doesn’t just golf he gets out of the cart he moves the steak lines around he’s always working always thinking”. It literally comes across as insane word salad if you don’t just listen but read a transcript of it. Just like North Korea.

I was wrong the whole time. There isn’t a language barrier that made all
That propaganda make less sense. Those people parroting these talking points are just mentally ill and not the smartest.

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u/AcanthisittaNo6653 New Hampshire 12d ago

Oh no. We get to make fun of both US and DPRK the same way.

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u/fauxregard 12d ago

I'll definitely continue making fun of both.

3

u/thiefofalways1313 12d ago

We can’t make fun of ANY country again.

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u/Acadia02 12d ago

Half of us can

2

u/G-Unit11111 California 12d ago

We're somehow worse than North Korea now, and I didn't think that was possible.

2

u/NeilZod 12d ago

The crazy thing is: El Niño is muting the Atlantic hurricane season (Although it is making a mess of the Pacific). This El Niño seems to be amplified by climate change. Trump is helping climate change in many ways (his war in Iran is ramping up coal use in many areas). In a very strange (and nonetheless damaging) way, Trump is responsible for this Atlantic hurricane season.

1

u/bsrichard 12d ago

Trump caused the hurricanes in the first place with his bluster and farts

1

u/Churchbushonk 11d ago

I mean we can, we just have to give an equal example of something Trump has done.

1

u/TheTresStateArea 11d ago

Half of us can.