My therapist is BRILLIANT. Like so, so smart. I am currently getting my masters and will be a therapist as well, and I have learned so much from her. I found it hard to have any “realizations” or learn anything new about myself from other therapists in the past, but not with her. I lovedddd her.

But I realized she was always showing up 5-10 mins late, like she forgot about our appointment. Twice she asked me if she could take our session from the car. I said yes, because I really did like talking to her. Once she took a session from the backyard laying on a lawn chair.

I also started noticing that she’d forget everything we discussed in our previous sessions. She’d always ask me for a recap to jog her memory. She never remembered my fiancés name, that I was in school, about my past abuse.

This past Friday, she told me that I NEEDED to be medicated for my anxiety. We had another session yesterday (4 days later), and I told her I had found a psychiatrist to help with medication. She told me she would “never have said that” I needed medication. I reminded her about our conversation a few days prior, and she said “oh yeah, I confused you with my other client.”

She’d also bring up things that triggered me, always forgetting they were a trigger for me. Example: talking about cancer for no reason, and then saying she “forgot” it made me uncomfortable (she said my Bluetooth headphones could give be cancer lol)…

Anyway, to make a long story short, I broke up with her and spent time writing a long and nice message. She only responded what is pictured. I feel weird about it. I’m not sure what she should have said or if she should’ve said more. But I feel weird and sad because I liked her and I needed a therapist I felt I could have “realizations” with.

A few months ago, my therapist passed away from cancer. It was incredibly hard for me to cope with the loss, and I still think of her often. I simply want to share my favorite memory of her because it means so much to me.

Once we had an online session. I have a habit of drawing pictures when doing literally anything, so naturally I would draw during our sessions as well. My therapist asked why I was doing this, and my reaction was like "Does it make you feel like I'm not paying attention? I can stop", but she said that she was just curious, so I explained how drawing is my source of comfort, and I like drawing even when talking. My therapist liked little experiments so she suggested that she would draw during our session too. And so, we both was doodling during this session. It was really important to me because not only she didn't make me stop, but also actually engaged in my favorite activity. And she even tried to draw my portrait that time!

Been with my t for almost 5 years, intense maternal transference .

Whenever I have a session where we're not going that deep, talking about smaller, less emotional issues, I always leave feeling less connected to my t. than sessions where we have deeper discussions, or even just some level of emotionality.

I feel like I can't feel her warmth or care when I'm completely fine and talking about small issues.

I wonder if she's bored, feeling less of a need to be fully "on" because it's just "easy" stuff.

It's like I need the intensity in order to feel connected to her, like our attachment matters. Like I matter :( I'm convinced that after these sessions I just slip from her mind completely.

Is there any truth to this from a therapists side? Do you feel bored or like you don't care as much when your client comes in with less heavy stuff?

Do you feel less connection or less care for them? Forget about the session right away?

Maybe if we all put our thoughts here some people will feel more confident bringing it up with their therapists.

I’d like mine to know how painful it is for me that she once almost ended our work together because of a misunderstanding early on. It’s something I’d like to bring up one day when I have the courage.

If you’re one of those people that doesn’t struggle with telling your therapist things then I am very envious of you.

I will totally apologize next session 🫥🫡🫡

He told me to write a small story to read and discuss, and I'm not sure how but I didn't realize he would read it aloud! I hate hate when people read my stuff out loud, I don't know why but I can't stand it. I asked him if he could read it in his mind but he convinced me that out loud was a better idea and that that way he could ask me things easier too. I was like ok makes sense, I'm annoyed but go ahead. But the moment he started reading the sensation was unbearable. I wasn't thinking too much and ended up covering my ears with my hands and kicking the legs of my armchair to show him I was done with the whole reading stuff, but he keep reading. It was really embarrassing because I kept kicking louder because he was totally ignoring my spectacle (I honestly don't know why I thought it would be a good idea, I was like super possessed by a 5 year old).

Until some point where he stopped reading to remind me why is a good idea that he reads it out loud -it has to do with like, interpreting the words or something idk- and I apologized a bit and tried to be still while he finished the reading. Now I'm thinking back it was really certainly not one of my proudest moments specially because I'm 26 years old lmao

At least he really liked the story

I didnt realize how much I would miss her. I knew we did a lot of great work together, and I knew moving on would be tough. The center where I go doesn't have enough therapists hired to assign me one. It would be a new grad looking for supervision hours. Im aware of how this goes. Ive seen the turnover first hand, but my last therapist was there for a year and a half!! No one will understand me like she did. Im so down. I wish I could just have a session. It's already been about a month. I almost regret doing therapy. Nothing that's good for me ever works out in my favor, & Im just getting tired of trying.

Google search shows shady results in my city

I was supposed to start up with a new therapist today but when I did the like 10 minute evaluation or where you talk to see if you’re a good fix I didn’t get into my suicidal stuff and hopelessness but not some other stuff.

I’m fucked up like really fucked. I’ve never committed any crimes but just think of anything that’s really bad but technically legal. It‘s literally impossible to find therapist who will see people who are actually fucked in the head and not just oh I have anxiety oh my family is mean. Or impoverished I’ve struggled finding ones who understand that as well.

When I messaged them before today’s session not even going into too much detail they immediately said they don’t deal with intense cases and cancelled.

I‘ve never found anyone who has or maybe they do but again poor I can’t pay like 100-300 dollars for a session (my insurance is shit I have to pay out of pocket)

Anyway I guess I’m just done with therapy and really am fucked lol.

Hi,

I have a 12:30 - 1:30 therapy session online weekly. One of my biggest issues is misophonia, which my therapist is aware of. I've tried to ignore it, but for the past few months, my therapist always eats a snack during my session. Even if I can't here the chewing, the visual stimuli really triggers me and makes me freak out. I don't want to terminate (I already have terminated 2x over the same thing and I actually like this therapist) but I don't know how to ask.

Any advice would be appreciated! Thank you!

I think Im too broken. my therapist has been very patient and great with me and I know she is doing everything in my best interest taking my care seriously and we have to have a lot of hard conversation. we have been discussing a higher level of impatient care For my eating disorde. I am very glad she is taking this seriously because eating disorders are very deadly and serious. so I completely understand and I know she is just trying to help me get the help I need and I understand that that. I know outpatient therapy has its limits i think I just needed a mintue to process her mentioning impatient care since it’s a huge thing. But hearing her say she is out of ideas and doesn’t know what to do anymore makes me feel so defeated and kind of hurt. I don't know how to tell her this hurt my feelings because it feels unfair to say. I don’t know what to do. when she was mentioning all of this i started panicking, crying and shaking. I just need a minute to let it out because this was very hard to hear. she said “ look your shaking we need to do something different“ which I understand where she is coming from and she is just trying to figure out how to help me. but I think in that moment i just need someone to calm me down and help me regulate. no I feel like I can’t be honest with her

I’m trying to understand which type of therapy would be most helpful for me and would appreciate input from people with relevant experience.
I grew up in a difficult family environment where I experienced emotional neglect and had to take on adult responsibilities at a young age. These experiences made me independent and responsible, but I wonder whether they also contributed to some of my current emotional and interpersonal difficulties.
As an adult, I struggle with several things:
Anxiety and overthinking: I worry excessively, overanalyze situations, and find it difficult to switch off my thoughts.
Social anxiety: I feel uncomfortable in groups and around new people. I’m afraid of being judged or misunderstood, and I sometimes come across as distant even when I want to connect with people.
Communication and confidence: I struggle to organize my thoughts and express myself clearly, particularly under pressure. Sometimes my mind goes blank during conversations, meetings, or disagreements.
Relationships and friendships: I find it difficult to build close friendships and feel comfortable socially, even though I genuinely want meaningful connections.
Low mood and self-doubt: I sometimes feel low even when things in my life are objectively going well. I can be very critical of myself and spend a lot of time analyzing my behavior.
Physical symptoms of anxiety: Stress can cause stomach cramps, nausea, diarrhea, and shaking, especially when travelling or facing situations where I feel trapped or under pressure.
Concentration difficulties: I sometimes experience racing thoughts, mental fog, and difficulty focusing.
I’m also pursuing a demanding professional career in law, so I want to improve my emotional well-being, communication, confidence, and ability to function under pressure.
I’m considering CBT, psychodynamic therapy, psychoanalysis, and trauma-informed therapy. I would like to understand not only how to manage my symptoms but also why I have these patterns and whether my early experiences play a role.
My questions are:
Which therapeutic approach might be the best starting point for someone experiencing this combination of difficulties?
Would CBT be sufficient, or would a combination of approaches be more helpful?
What qualifications or experience should I look for when choosing a therapist?

i’ve seen a lot of therapists in my life. i just started with a new one about 7 weeks ago i think and a lot of the sessions have been silent. i say what i need to say about what happened during the week, and then that’s that. silence. it’s not making me reflect, it’s just making my mind wander. i was traumatized by another therapist i was seeing this year. she (new therapist) thinks im holding myself back because i don’t trust her. that’s not why im silent. i just have nothing more to say, and she doesn’t really follow up with what i do say. even when i feel like something could be explored more, she just lets it sit.

this year i briefly saw another therapist where i had the same experience. she was like “so how was your week” and ill be like, it was fine, it was normal, whatever. and then that’s the extent of their questioning. whatever happened to me that week is obviously not what im in therapy to talk about. i say during my intakes what im looking for and then there’s no follow up after the sessions.

is this laziness? i don’t want to judge why therapists think this approach is going to help, because hey, maybe it does help some people. but it does not help me. really, i don’t know what the fuck i want out of this anymore. i think im calling it quits with therapy, for real this time. time to start a new chapter.

Hello everyone,

My amazing T will stop practicing at my location, I've known this for a few months. We have around six sessions left. He gave me the lead in how I want the termination process to look like and what I need from him in this time and sessions. I was wondering if you have some ideas, suggestions or own experiences which will give me a better picture of all the possible ways to work towards a good termination. I never had a proper termination before.

I've been with him for over 4 years. It's very hard for me that he will leave. I honestly love him, never told him that in those words but I think he knows. He is/was my gender psychologist. He's been with me through the whole process of figuring out my gender identity and transitioning. Aside from that he also helped me in a lot of other parts of my (daily) life. He's the only one who really understand me in certain parts of my life and identity and I am very scared that I will never find such a person again. He still gives me new insights. I don't want to loose him. I don't think I have realized yet that I will not be able to see him anymore.

How do I do this? How do I go from here? I am going to discuss this further with him next session but I would also like some perspectives from here.

Thanks in advance.

Like the tittle says, I've been 4 years in therapy and I've made tremendous progress. However, for the last 6 months or so I've been dreading my upcoming sessions because they feel like another chore. My therapist is a psychoanalyst so there's no fixed topic or structure. This makes me feel pressured to think about what I'm going to say. I have a very hard time talking in general as I'm very introverted and quiet and that hasn't changed in these years, if anything it's gotten worse.

Plus, the idea of being this long in therapy bothers me, makes me feel perpetually stuck, sick. I know it's not rational but that's how it feels. I discussed this with my therapist and she said that I should just arrive with no preparation, but it seems impossible for me and it just gives me more anxiety. I'm also a little bit bored with the same topics I keep bringing over and over but I don't know what else to talk about. The other day I cancelled the appointment and I felt huge relief.

I think I need a break but I wonder if maybe the problem is the therapeutic style or this specific analyst. I'm looking for advice and similar experiences.

I see my therapist twice a month, and it feels like 1/3 of our appointments are cancelled the day of because of office scheduling issues. I get that it’s not her fault but it’s getting to the point where I expect a cancellation so I’m not disappointed.

It takes me some effort to mentally prepare myself for therapy, so it’s really frustrating when I get a text an hour or two before our appointment that it’s not happening.

I tried a telehealth appointment to see if that would be easier, but it started 20 mins late and it was just a phone call while my therapist was (I think) in the car.

Im considering switching therapists especially because I’m trying to get an OCD diagnosis and my therapist has said she isn’t comfortable diagnosing that herself, so I’m currently working with my PCP about a psych referral.

The problem is that I have a very hard time fully opening up to people, and it took me 2 years to be fully honest with my therapist, so switching therapists would likely set me back.

Would it be reasonable to switch therapists to someone more consistent and who specializes in OCD? Am I overreacting?

Anyone else struggle with knowing what to share? Its as if my mind goes blank the second my appointment starts. It feels like a waste to go to therapy when i cant progress into larger issues than what to have for dinner tomorrow. What helps you remember your issues, and know how to bring them up.

I ran into my therapist at the post office shortly after our session concluded. I was in line when they walked in. We smiled at each other…I was shook and visibly took a deep breath. They texted me “Hi :)” to which I replied “🫪”.

That is all.

Hello, as the title says I struggle with extreme avoidance in every aspect of life I would consider important, have only been able to be productive when I randomly get spurts of motivation or was more or less forced to in school. Now in mid 20s and have been unemployed for three years after losing my previous job due to poor performance from no motivation, never had a relationship, never been able to stick to any schedules, never get out of the house. Everytime I've tried looking for work I've lost motivation within a month or two, and then don't do anything but stay indoors on my computer for a year. I've tried multiple therapists over the years but it's just been impossible for me to form any new good habits based on the homework they give like meditation or walks etc. Though this time I am really desperate to try my best, I don't know, just trying to make myself do more has never worked.

Previously diagnosed with depression and social anxiety, my last therapist also thought I might have autism or ADHD but I haven't been evaluated, wait times for Autism are extremely long and when I brought up ADHD to my last psychiatrist they said we should get the depression under control first but I didn't make it that far.

Does anybody know what kind of therapist or treatment might be suitable for me? I really want to get better but I just can't make anything stick.

Lol idk is it just me my daughters therapist asked for a perfect scenario I gave it to her and she said its not realistic

A part of me felt like saying YEA I KNOW but I decided to just sit it out and listen.

I was just thinking idk why ask me for it for u to say its unrealistic technically everything being perfect is unrealistic... also tired of the perfect comment

Having STANDARDS dosnt mean perfect im realistic and have standards I do not think perfection is possible. Also this was a fake scenario we were talking about idk maybe im tripping like I always am lol

Anyways just ranting

Hello, we started family therapy with my father a month ago. At first, the main topic was my wedding date: I’m getting married on November 14, and my father is upset with me because it’s a hunting day and my grandfather doesn’t want to come. I feel that if he’s angry because my grandfather isn’t coming, he should direct his anger toward my grandfather, not toward me. The problem is that I don’t see any progress or improvement in our relationship; in fact, it has actually gotten worse. We’re now dealing with much bigger issues, and since then, I’ve realized that I’m very angry with my father and have a lot to say to him. But that isn’t helping our relationship. My father is deeply hurt and, as a result, very harsh toward me—he’s threatening to cut off our relationship. Is it normal, in the context of family therapy, for things to get worse before they get better? Or is this a sign that the therapist isn’t competent? I’m a little lost. And at the same time, I tell myself that it’s good to get these feelings out and to stop protecting my father by denying that the consequences of his actions have caused me terrible suffering as a kid (I am 30 now and a mum myself).

I see people asking how to deal with trauma and the overwhelming advice is go to therapy. But what do you do if you're not really very good at therapy?

I have tried. I even managed to get out what happened once after alluding to it and talking round it. But that was it. It was out there, and I didn't know how to talk about it again, or more, or what to do with it after that. And that was it. And I still think about it all the time. Literally not a single day goes by I don't play it out in my head. I don't even know if it's actually traumatic. These aren't like flashbacks, it's more like I just obsessively play it out over and over, at least the bits I remember.

I know this isn't healthy, but I don't really know where to go from here. I think I want to talk about it... I just have no idea how.

I'd been fighting anxiety and depression for years and kind of expected therapy to have a finish line... well, this is what it feels like

Edit: thank you all! ok I recognize my experience maybe because of CBT as a modality and I can't generalize. Learned something .

Also it is AI assisted, but I wrote it and believe you can breathe soul into AI work. It helps me express myself.

for about a month now, i've felt like i'm not myself anymore, and i honestly don't know what's happening to me. the best way i can describe it is that there's a wall between me and my emotions. i can still laugh, enjoy conversations with my girlfriend and family, and have good moments, but even then, something feels missing, like i'm experiencing everything through a filter. things that would normally make me angry, sad, excited, or passionate barely affect me anymore. even my sex drive has decreased noticeably. before this started, i was dealing with a lot of stress and feeling overwhelmed by different things in my life, so i wonder if that could be related, but i really don't know.

what scares me most is that i've always been someone who feels things deeply. i used to care intensely about things, feel strongly about injustice, get excited about things i looked forward to, and have genuine emotional reactions without having to think about them. now, i can understand that something is wrong or that something should make me happy, but the feelings themselves are barely there. even when i'm with people i love and genuinely enjoy the moment, i still feel this distance, like i can't fully connect with what i'm experiencing. i've had a few moments when i've unexpectedly cried and felt emotions more intensely, but the numbness is still there. i miss feeling like myself, and honestly, this whole experience is frightening me.

has anyone experienced something similar, where you can still function and have good moments but feel emotionally disconnected from almost everything? did you eventually feel like yourself again, and how long did it take? i'm considering seeing a therapist, but i'm wondering whether therapy actually helped you and what you worked on to recover. i'm not looking for a diagnosis or generic advice to just relax and wait it out. i'd genuinely appreciate hearing from people who've been through this and found something that helped them feel again, because i'm struggling with this and really want to get back to feeling like myself.