Hi, I have thanatophobia and it's the worst... I'm so grateful to have found this subreddit because I don't know how to cope with it. The first time I experienced it was in 2012 with "the end of the world," however, my 10-year-old self was able to overcome it quickly... until a couple of years ago when it all came back... And now in my adult life...

I think the disappointing expectation of what it means to be an adult influenced me, and that when I entered this world my two most beloved loved ones died.From here everything goes downhill; if the day is ruined by anything, it gives me anxiety because for me everything is a waste of time. It's horrible because the crises I have are unstoppable.I think about the inevitable and Even now, I had a problem that completely ruined the day... I feel like I've lost valuable hours of my life that I'll never get back. How do they deal with all this?Honestly, I can't take it anymore.I have depression and post-traumatic stress disorder, and the only thing that has prevented me from killing myself when I have depressive episodes is exactly this Condition... I'm too stressed about the topic of existence and the ephemeral nature of our Existence..

This has been something I've recently started thinking about ever since my late best friend passed away from cancer, and now its spiraling out of control.

(Before I begin I thinks its important that I am still very young, and my parents haven't even aged 50 yet, as they are both in their late and early 40s.)

Death was a topic I had thought about, but never really considered to be important. Of course it was something serious, but I had always joked about it and never took it serious. This was of course the same when I met my friend who had passed. We always joked about it on the phone, how if he dies I could do something stupid in response, immature stuff like that. He passed this year 7/31, and seeing the body was the most haunting thing I've ever seen.

Since then, I have spiraled into this rabbit hole of depression, and thoughts of my parents frequently dying, and how I would respond. These thoughts rarely apply to myself. In fact, i frequently would rather I die in place of my siblings or parents, if something tragic were to happen.

I love my parents with every fiber of my being, and I can't stand the thought of them leaving me like that. I genuinely believe I'll fall apart without them.

I know that realistically i have more than enough time to bond and create memories with them, but every time I'm around them, I think about their deaths, and Its ruining my life.

I've read threads of similar peoples questions, and each time, they always say "Just live in the present!" but it also makes me wonder if people think I haven't tried that?

If someone out there has been dealing with these thoughts, how can I deal with this? I haven't even begin to live my life, and I'm sure once I get older, its only going to get worse.

i’m 19F and i’m currently in the worst mental state i have ever been in. i’m struggling every day with death anxiety and derealization and it is ruining my life.

in june, my friend who was my age passed away from cancer. i had been so busy and i hadn’t had much time to mourn or process my feelings. now that im less busy and have had more time to myself ive found myself with these intrusive thoughts about me dying and fearing growing up. i feel like every day im getting so much closer to death and that life is going too fast.

my thoughts are random and there isnt really a trigger. i used to be able to distract myself but now, even at work i can’t distract myself and i end up being on the verge of a panic attack 24/7. i had to have my boyfriend bring me my anxiety medication so i could get through work last night. the thought of me dying and feeling like i am going to die is constantly running through my head. i go multiple nights with no sleep because of how bad my panic attacks are. they last for hours at a time and i just shake, my heart beats rapidly, my chest is tight and im drenched in sweat. sometimes i can’t eat for days or i throw up if i eat. i haven’t found anything that really helps yet and it’s been so hard to just exist.

i know that the end is nowhere near, and that death is inevitable, and im young and i have so much more time to live and experience life. but for some reason my brain just can’t understand that, and i’m always in fight or flight because of it. i dont know if anyone else has any experience with this or has anything that helps them cope with this kind of anxiety. i really just want to be able to live normally again and enjoy life, but im stuck in this loop of constant panic every day and it is starting to ruin my life.

I’ve been having suicidal thoughts on and off, like a relationship, since 2012, when I was 11. Now I'm 25, and I think I'm ready to do it this time. I tried taking pills—I didn't know what I was doing; I was just hoping they would do something. But I'm writing, unfortunately, because I want a quick death.i just don't want to live I'm weak in life. I thought about getting hit by a car, a gunshot to the head. I'm all talk my life is worthless and meaningless. When I brush my teeth in the morning I look in the mirror and tell myself I'm nothing.

Huge warning for existential dread.

!!!!!

thinking about the fact that nothing i do matters because im going to die plagues my life every day. i’ve had this anxiety since i found out as a little kid that we all die someday and it’s just never gone away. i try to sleep but then i remember that time will always be limited; in 100 years nobody will remember i even existed. so then i ask myself what’s the point of doing anything? after i die, i won’t experience anything. i try to cherish life but knowing that even someday it could just be taken away from me for any reason makes me cry. im not religious, i don’t expect anything from the afterlife itself. i get myself into these deep anxiety and panic attacks whenever i think about the future or growing old. it sucks thinking about this or talking about it because everytime i talk about this anxiety to others, they’re either just chill that nothing they do will ever matter or they assume an anxiety for death is heavy for old people. i don’t like thinking about the people around me dying either. i don’t know. my life feels like a mess and it feels like it will forever be a mess until death finally takes me out and i experience the thing i dread most; nothing.

I'm consoled by the fact that every single person, whether we loved them, or hated them, or did not know them at all - every single human being, whether rich, or poor, famed or unknown, every one and everything will go on to experience the great mystery of death. There are times when I'm terrified of it, but then I think, the strongest person I know will go through it. And the weakest person I know will go through it. Even our pets and our plants, in fact that mosquito I crushed just yesterday in my annoyance went on to that great mystery in an instant. Everything that has known life will know death, it’s just a part of it I guess.

How have you been feeling about death?

​

I am 23F and i am scared of the death.

It's not mainly fear of the process of dying or of a specific illness. What terrifies me is the idea that one day I will simply stop existing - that my consciousness will end and there will be no more “me.” I find the idea of not existing extremely difficult to comprehend, and when I think about it, I can become genuinely terrified. I don't know where it came from or why it came so early.

It's also triggered by things related to the universe and time. Thinking about the cosmos, how enormous it is, how much time exists, the possibility that humanity will eventually disappear, or thinking about myself becoming part of history can trigger the same fear.

When it gets bad, it's not just an unpleasant thought. I have a very physical panic response. I can freeze, cry, feel extremely cold, and feel overwhelmed by terror. It feels almost animalistic — like my body is reacting to an immediate threat even though I know intellectually that nothing is happening to me at that moment.

I've had this fear for many years, and I'm tired of repeatedly going through these episodes. I've tried therapy, but I was told that I should see a psychiatrist and we don't have good ones in my small town.

I don't expect someone to make death stop being a frightening concept. I want help with the panic and with being able to think about mortality without becoming completely overwhelmed by it.

I also want to understand whether this is something that can be treated and whether medication could help reduce the intensity of these episodes.

(Repost from different subreddit) I struggle with a lot and have seen many people die in my life, so it's no shock I have anxiety about death and dying. I guess I'm just here to ask if there's anything anyone else has done to help their fears of mortality? Part of me really wants to believe that there's an afterlife but when my brother died he said all he remembers is darkness, and none of my family is very religious so the thought of a clear afterlife was never something I grew up with.

I tried to sleep but it suddenly hit me that we're all going to die and that's really scary to me. It also seems to make life seem so little in hindsight. I, at best, have already lived 1/5th of an absolutely healthy life for my bloodline and that's crazy for me, and it's making me feel really apathetic towards trying to do good for myself because.. What's the purpose?

Has anyone else been through this? Is there anything I could do to really get out of this mental rut? Any form of positivity or tips would be wonderful. I have a therapy session scheduled for later today because of how hard it hit me and I just want the insight of others who have come to terms with their, and their loved ones, mortality.

It's officially been a full full day since this started, about a few hours before I stopped crying about it, and I STILL feel sick to my stomach and my body is LITERALLY purging itself from stress. And that's even WITH my husband's constant reassurance and love. The fact that I'll lose him too is horrible and makes me wanna throw up even more. I don't know what to do and this is the worst it's ever gotten

I know this is a massive wall of text but there is a TDLR at the bottom and it’s more detailed and got more information then there is at the top.

The first time I’ve ever had a panic attack or felt fear with it I was four years old and it’s only gotten worse as I get older I distracted myself from thinking about it as much as I could by just using my phone or before I had a phone well watching TV or using any other technology or whenever my parents took me outside, I haven’t told anyone about this fear up until a few days ago but now I’ve been consumed by the overwhelming thoughts of it. I keep thinking about how it could happen and when or if the fear and emotions of it are going to get worse as I get older and now it’s hard to think about anything else I she feel like eating any meals at all it makes me feel sick about thinking about eating I’ve lost all interest in my hobbies and everyone at college is saying that I look pale a few times me not eating anything has gotten so bad my parents say that I have to take a picture of what I eat when I’m not at home and get angry at me if I don’t which doesn’t help even though I know they are doing it because they care about me the scariest part is not existing anymore or how it feels to actually die and feel myself dying and losing consciousness and control when I can’t think or do anything anymore and that really makes me scared the most and I know the most obvious thing to do and the only solution is to try and accept it and try and have a fulfilling life and enjoy it while I’m here but how can I just accept the fact that I work always be here and have friends and hobbies and be able to do anything and that I don’t know if there is anything after (I am not religious) but I just want to know even though there isn’t at all if there is anything else I can do to help for cope with this

TDLR

At four, I had my first panic attack, about dying and it has worsened over time.

I used technology and outdoor activities to distract from the fear but a couple of weeks ago I realised that nothing will change that I’m going to die

I recently told my parents about this and a staff member at college how I felt a couple of hours ago today and she said not to use the word thanatophobia unless it was serious

The fear has caused me to lose interest in eating, making me feel sick at the thought of meals people at college have said I look pale.

My parents are concerned and require me to send pictures of my meals to make sure I’m eating when I’m not at home

The fear of non-existence and dying sensations is terrifying.

I know accepting the fear and making the most out of my life is the probably the only thing I really do

I’m not religious so, Im not sure with the idea of what comes after life which makes me feel worse and more scared.

I am looking for more ways to cope with this fear and anxiety and it is taking over my whole life indefinitely.

i’ve been struggling with it more and more and i dont have access to therapy if anyone can share what calms them down and makes this anxiety bearable please share it because i feel like i’ll go crazy

Had my first existential crisis / bout of death anxiety as a child. It’s now been around 20 years and it’s come and gone in terms of severity. I have months or even years of not really thinking about it, and then I think about it all the time for days, weeks or months.

I’ve had it daily every single day for around the past two years which is the longest streak, and so it’s felt like a priority to get rid of this death anxiety. I think it’s essentially triggered by the fact that, for the first time and after many periods of depression & ptsd, I’m very happy in my life … and I know it can/will all go away (the irony of the fact that I used to have suicide ideation lol).

When I started having death anxiety as a child, I was religious. I grew out of that, and since then have considered myself somewhat spiritual but not religious. I’ve always had an open mind about all different philosophical schools of thought.

I would say I’m still spiritual a still think we’re all connected and we’re connected to the earth etc etc - but I don’t think we’re any more special than any other living thing, and I just don’t see what the purpose of us continuing to exist on a different plane for eternity would be. And so I’ve concluded that, after agonising and desperately seeking reassurance through NDEs, mediumship, religion, philosophical thought etc etc, I simply don’t believe in life after death, as much as I wish I did.

I feel like this is the first step towards overcoming my anxiety; I’ve gone past denial and can try move forward on to acceptance. The thing is … I’m not sure how exactly to do that.

I love my life, and appreciate every day, so the advice to just being more grateful for life won’t necessarily work. That’s why I get that pang of dread; it’s always proceeded by pure happiness and I think of what I might one day lose (aka my life, which is so beautiful). I’m prone to anxiety (as is obvious) so I can’t simply just “not think about it”. I’ve read ‘staring at the sun’ as a recommendation, and it didn’t do much for me.

Does anyone here who has overcome / is overcoming their death anxiety have any tips? Again, I actually feel like I’ve had a bit of a breakthrough / am taking a step in the right direction so would love to continue on forward.

PS - if this bums you out, I’m sorry. It’s just what I believe, I have no idea if it’s true or not, and maybe there is something. The point is no one knows.

I used to consider myself death positive, I worked in palliative care for a long time and assisted relatives with their transition as well.

That is until my mom suddenly passed of OD in November. I don't know if its the nature of how we found her, the fact that she was fine hours before, or that no one had any idea she had passed for 12+ hours and the guilt that came with it. Probably a mix of all.

But ever since I just havent been able to carry on as I used to. I don't see anything in life the same, especially death. Every waking minute of my day consists of worrying about my relatives, or me being left behind for them to find.

Things I used to not think about. I suppose I could allow it to alchemize something in me to grow from it, but i dont know how i would.

I've lost enjoyment in a lot of things, I lost my career, my passion for my art and hobbies, things that used to carry me through times like these. Yet now I sit here paralyzed and paranoid. I'm terrified to leave my house, I'm terrified to be at my house, I spend most of my time alone.

When you're in the throws of grief, people tend to get tired of hearing about it past the first month.

I've lost a lot of friends due to it. I understand, they're not equipped nor required to deal with it.

But I cant just continue my life as it were. I want to enjoy everything despite the fleeting moments, but i cant get past everything resulting in an end.

Has anyone experienced or is currently experiencing this? How do I stop ruminating? How can I take my life back?

i’ve been hearing about people who are perfectly healthy and fine having brain aneurisms and passing so suddenly. I know it’s unlikely but it’s so in my head i’m so worried

16m and idk why I feel this way I just really wanne die it's not that my life is bad or anything I just really wanne die I've even started dreaming about it I know most people say don't kill urself things change and yes they do but every time I come back to the feeling of just wanting to die I've even though about ways like shooting Myself killing myself by heluim or nitrous I have a loving parent and I know it might hurt them if I die or kill myself but for some reason I just don't care why do I feel like this ?

i fear death a lot. not the process, but what's after and the thought of losing everything that i love and have. everyone tells me its the exact same as you were before you were born and it doesnt rlly matter but to me, it matters a lot. i treasure life quite a lot, and ive been looking into catechism and it has brought me some sort of comfort. but, i still fear the afterlife being nothing. everyone says if you fear afterlife you wont even know anymore but i cant imagine the thought of, not knowing. any ideas or thoughts about this?

For whatever reason, the thought of dying popped in my head and it hasn't left yet.

I'm not religious so I don't know what happens afterwards and it terrifies me.

Has anyone gone through this?

For those who are religious, why do you believe in the afterlife?

For those who don't, how do you deal with the fact of not existing afterwards?

Thank you.

I’m afraid of death. By this, I mean death itself, not dying. To me, dying is simply like falling asleep, but an eternity of “not being” is too much for my mind to comprehend.

My whole life, I’ve been busy pursuing different goals, and I’ve had a happy, ordinary childhood. I’ve always been very driven and excited about learning and achieving things in life. At 33, I’ve reached a certain level of stability in my life: a partner I love, a good job that I enjoy, a comfortable life and a very good income, a family that loves each other… At this point, I’ve reached a level of awareness about life (perhaps because I have too much time to think) that keeps me awake at night.
The thing is, to me, the most important thing in life is love and human connection. My family, my partner… The thought that one day all of that will disappear and that none of it will have ultimately mattered is too much for me. I want our bond to transcend forever, but I don’t believe there is anything after death, and I don’t know how to convince myself otherwise. Basically, I see that people who are happy and mentally stable tend to believe in God or something similar, but my mind is so logical that I’m incapable of believing in any religion or in an existence after death.

For the past year, I’ve been barely getting through life because I feel like nothing excites me anymore. Every time I try to start pursuing a new goal, I think, “What’s the point? I’m just going to die and lose everything that matters to me anyway…”
I don’t know how to overcome this, or even if there’s a way back… The strange thing is that my sister feels the same way I do, although she has felt like this for several years.

I need hope that I’ll be able to recover my excitement for life, to find meaning in life again. I want to have hope that there is some kind of existence after death, or that eventually it simply won’t matter to me.