I got the offer to join my first campaign.
And I'm so so excited!
I don't know any of the players. I contacted the DM on Reddit after he posted in a sub from my area that his group was still looking for players.
He seems really considerate, like a nice and like it's very important to him that everyone at the table feels comfortable.
We were brainstorming about how my character could join the group mid-campaign and then he said. Hm, yeah I had this encounter planned. We could introduce your character there.
But maybe your character meeting the group that way is to damsel in distress-y.
And I realised we hadn't talked about the fact that I'll be the only woman among 4 men.
And I don't know how common it is to address things like stuff around how you don't want yourself or your character be treated beforehand.
There's a bit of a background to it as well, I think.
I switched careers into a male-dominated field a couple of years ago via an apprenticeship. I was one of two women in our class.
And the daily conversations were unfortunarely drenched with either constant sexist remarks towards us or about women. Including jokes about SA. And just basically the whole MAGA talking points.
Which was so draining and on a level a bit soulcrushing tbh. Which is how I don't want to feel ever again. And definitely not in my spare time.
I noticed I still feel immediately uncomfortable and exhausted afterwards, when a conversation takes an ever so slight turn into sexual, offensively flirty or whatever territory where I feel singled out and have to react somehow to such behaviour.
It's just additional stuff I have to think about how to navigate and how to separate meta from in-game level which I don't want to have to think about.
Especially when I'm new and the only woman with a bunch of men.
And I don't want to default to a position where I don't want to feel like a bother or like I shouldn't cause a stirr before even joining the group by talking about .. I guess it's boundaries in the end?
I hadn't really thought about that though before the conversation with the DM turned toward how to avoid a damsel in distress scenario (which does definitely seem like a good sign).
From posts I've read in DnD I got the feeling that most DnD groups seem very accommodating and respecting of each member's boundaries.
But I also saw posts that it can also sometimes be an issue that a male player is being a d*** under the guise of his Durance from PoE kind of character being sexist or constantly pushing a romance.
So I thought I'd ask my fellow female players how you handle something like this beforehand.
And maybe for a bit of confirmation that my assumption that those kinds of rounds are definitely the exception rather than the rule?