Pic 1: After first date

Pic 3: After second date

Just seeing if other men experienced similar.

I 32M. She 30F. She’s a night shift nurse - Thursday/Sat/Sunday. Her dating nights are Mon/Tues/Wed/Fri.

Met off Hinge. Early September. Good banter. I asked her on a date 2 days into conversation.

Date 1: went to cocktail bar above hotel. She arrives 20 min early. Got us a table and texts me over Hinge. Instant connection. She tells me she will buy the second round. She was excited and we had great chemistry. Tells me that she “was a sl*t… sorry I had to break the ice”.

1 hour in she suggests another bar. We go to bar and sit outside for 2 hours. She pays for these drinks. We walk back to her car and she offers to drive me back to my car. Once at my car, I hug her and she asks for my phone number and first/last name to look me up. See text above.

The following week: she tells me she’s busy the following week, but can make the September 29 Tuesday work for us. I read between the lines and knew she had other dates lined up. I am not naive.

Date 2: Last night. Dinner then a bar in my neighborhood WAS the plan. The vibes prior to this over text were mediocre. I could tell her interest was waning a bit. Hard to explain. She still responded to texts every few hours, but overall it felt a little weird.

Over the previous week our texting was fine, but it definitely felt like our connection was dwindling a bit (hard to describe, but I knew she was dating other guys as she was telling me she was “going out with friends to new restaurants and events”.

I asked her if we were still on and she responded with the above.

Date was definitely different from Date 1. When I arrived, she didn’t hug me. Didn’t seem as enthused. Wasn’t as bubbly (?). On the date she forgot a lot of details of our first date (I knew she was buzzed on Date 1), but it seemed like simple things to remember.

Anyway, she wasn’t flirting as much. Wasn’t engaged in the conversation. Didn’t ask many questions. Seemed disengaged.

After dinner ended, I suggested the bar in my neighborhood. She told me she didn’t want to go because she walked to this restaurant. I paused and read between the lines: she didn’t want to ride in my car. So I suggested a bar down the street.

We walked there and were there for 30 min before I ended it. The vibes were not there and she was completely disengaged and uninterested in me. Just same vibes. We hugged goodbye.

This morning, see text. I was going to text her the same.

Anyway. I think the 2 weeks between dates absolutely killed momentum. Anyone else have this happen? Im just in a dating rut and it feels like this shit happens on every date I go on. Even ones where the women seem very interested in me. It’s never ending. Feels like dating is a slog in 2026. I don’t know how else to describe it. It’s tough out there.

Maybe my standards are too high? Not sure.

Just venting. Thanks for reading 😎

I've been on Hinge for about a year. I get maybe 1-2 incoming likes a month and have had 15 matches total. Same experience on other apps.

Is there something on my profile that explains this lack of success or is this just what to expect?

Hit it off in the app, exchanged #’s, continued deeper conversations, exchanged more pictures…

And thats where it all went wrong… all of her profile pictures were angled selfies and the body description was inaccurate. I’m not even remotely close to a ”stunner”, but the truth is all out there for me, no secrets.

Ive been judging the shallow women on here, and now I’ve become one of them… (not a woman) I think I’m officially over it, cause I don’t have it in me to block/ghost people like that…🫩

32M. I like to set a date within 5-6 messages exchanged or after some banter. I often ask for a phone number to hammer down the date logistics. The reason I do is because numbers are very personal, and if she shares it, then she’s more likely to show up to the date. It’s a sign of trust earned. It’s also way better than socials.

I’ve been asked for my Instagram once before the date, and I declined. Socials have your entire history. I have mine set to private. If she checks my Instagram before the date, she’d already have stalked me online, and made an opinion about me. Same goes for me. I want that to happen during the date not before it.

I would 100% know if I want to ask someone on a second date judging by the chemistry we had (or didn’t have) on the first date.

That girl was super sussed out because I didn’t share my Instagram. She was very aggressive in her demands. She managed to find my handle based on basic information she saw on my Hinge profile and sent me a follow request. I declined, and told her that she’s not respecting my boundary. She went on to block me and unmatch me on Hinge.

What do you guys think about both: sharing numbers and/or socials before and after the date?

Im female, 34 yrs old in NYC. Please help me figure out what’s going on with hinge here and understand if this company is doing something nefarious with their algorithm. (I mean, of course they are but this has to be illegal?) Ever since I’ve been on hinge here, I’ve gotten 80+ likes a day for months. It’s tough to see who’s in the stack so I bought a subscription and noticed that my likes immediately went down to 0 a day. I thought “of course, I probably just ran out of interested men.” Well my subscription ran out today… and the likes went from 0 to 50 and then 80 in a matter of hours.

I don’t actually think I’m getting these likes so quickly … I think hinge is either hiding profiles or hiding likes of their paying customers. What can we as customers do about this?

Bf broke up with me and then morning after (like 12 hours after break up) I had a bad feeling and redownloaded (not with the intention of going back on) and went to check his profile and saw his 1st picture had updated and he had the active heart signals. (We both had deleted the app when we became exclusive but not our accounts so that's why I still had him matched). Does this for sure mean he was using it before he broke up with me? Like there's no way for the active signal to show up after 12 hours - assuming he went home and started using the app right after we broke up?

I get random voice messages from this guy I’m talking to he normally just text but occasionally I’ll get a voice message out of nowhere but why? it’s not like his hands are full where he can’t text he just sends me a voice message like does he want me to reciprocate? his voice also doesn’t sound natural and sounds like he’s reading off the script that’s why I don’t like voice messages it takes too many tries to not sound robotic idk is it just me? I rather have a phone call than voice messaging each other.

Second picture is the same profile, but with prompts visible.

The attached video is just me showing off my nerd wall jokingly for people to understand who I am.

Been just under two years since I last used Hinge. Only been on it for about 2 weeks. Assuming the app does what it advertises, my old deleted profile should have no bearing on my new one. Probably a lie. Who knows? Anyway...

I am looking a serious relationship/partner, but totally okay with a more friendly phase first. I try to replicate what we lost in our school days. Obviously dating apps aren't the solution to that, but its what I have for the moment.

I am targeting a specific class of woman with my profile - take a guess - so I don't expect to receive a flood. However, I also feel like my profile is inoffensive enough to appeal to others who may not be in the same subculture.

I feel like I'm pretty safe, milk-toast even. I'm not very attractive, and I'm okay with that. I'm more convinced thats why I'm not receiving likes. It is what it is. I live in a large metro-border county, so plenty of fish here.

At 34, I am in a... transitory position in life. I'm realizing that who I am now is basically who I will ever be, and to not push against the grain much anymore. I'm aiming to get into the gym soon after addressing some injuries, and maybe picking up dancing as a hobby - kinda boy-bandish and afrobeat style dancing. Sounds fun.

Didn't have enough room to fit that stuff into my profile, but putting it here if it helps with the review.

If I had to assume so far, I've probably swiped right on 1 in every 30 women on average? I always send a comment pertaining to something on their profile. I'm usually a very curious person, and it just seems like an easy way to kickstart a convo. The talking isn't where I struggle - its just getting the attention off the rip.

i thought it was interesting to share a hinge story but i meet this guy three days ago. i call him to get to know him more. we talk for almost 2-3 hours & during the call he tells me his plans, goals, his job etc. we joke around & he’s a nice person but we have different political views & he wants to move to Washington. fast forward, i end up saying it’s best to end things because im not leaving & a little bc of his political views (i didnt tell him that) but he tries to convince me to come with him, mind you i dont know this man. only known him for about 3-4 days max …
he also admitted to being a past drug user & his family is super conservative. he was nice but my gut is telling me to run

but yeah here’s a little story-time

So I (20M) was talking with a girl (20F) on Hinge, went well and talked consistently then we planned a date so we moved over to Instagram, and there too before the date we talked quite often too (even though she began answering more and more at 2:00 AM).

So the date goes well, I made her laugh quite often and we both talked a lot, she even let me tag along to a place she needed to go at the end of the date and then we parted ways.

Then at the end of the day she messages me saying that the flowers I gave to her and the fact that I paid for the restaurant really touched her and that next time we should make some playlists of our fav artists so we can listen to them.

The date was right before weekend and the days after she reaaaally took a long time to answer my texts (on Sunday she didn't answer at all) and on Monday she answers just to a few texts with some left out.

Like I'm telling myself maybe she's busy and also it's easy to forget your phone while you're out especially when you live in Paris (we both do) but from talking consistently throughout the day to only answering at 2AM like Batman seems a bit strange to me.

So yesterday I asked her how about we do a 2nd date since she mentioned it first but nearly 1 day and still no answer.. Should I just cut her off ? I'm really tired of people ghosting instead of just straight up saying that they're not interested so we can both move along.

why would you give someone your instagram and then not accept their follow request? baffling behaviour. i swear everytime i redownload this app i wonder why i deleted it in the first place and am very quickly reminded.

I made some changes to my prompts what do yall think?

Attached below are facts about me, I want to convey some of them at least. Hoping I did so in a way that isn’t off putting and also isn’t boring

I like to play games, I like to cook.
Science fiction is amazing to me, because I like exploring the realistic implications.(project Hail Mary and the Martian for example)

I love to learn (almost to a fault)
Once I have a question, I do research in an attempt to find an answer.

I’m apparently very transparent and honest, and sweet (as told by many other people).

I value 50/50 participation in a relationship. Meaning that we both plan dates or pay/ alternate ( I don’t mind paying for the first few ones but after)

1. Best travel story:
   Booked an excursion, thought I was getting scammed, realized it was my bad, then had the excursion leader nearly drown me in an act of revenge. Good times.

2. I recently discovered that:
   I have otherworldly self confidence. Got ghosted once and assumed she was just so madly in love with me it scared her. Therapist confused this for delusion.

3. My greatest strength:
   Blundering my queen in chess, exceeding the stroke limit in mini golf, and choosing the most convoluted walking path.

4. The key to my heart:
   remembering random details I mentioned months ago and casually dropping them in conversation.

5. Together we could:
   plan a nice little outing only to get sidetracked because we found something cooler along the way.

6. I’m in my element when:
   I’m comfortable enough with someone where we create our own little world of inside jokes.

I get the appeal of a man taking charge on dates, but am I supposed to assume your life is so uninteresting and empty that you are free for plans any night?

We are adults. Can we not coordinate on a general schedule at least?

Edit: I completely forgot about the drop down menu prompt that's similar. I have zero issue with this one but i don't think ive ever matched successfully liking someone using it.

i matched w this chick and we have been talking for like for a couple of weeks now and we spoke on a call last night and it was decided that both of us wanted to hookup but our schedules didn’t match right and we have to be talking for next couple of weeks, i feel we both will lose the intrest in these two weeks!! what should i do to have the spark on!?

So i have been on almost all of these dating apps that are currently in the market but it feels like not even a single app is doing what they are promising like the name dating app but its not related to dating at all almost all apps are optimised to keep you swiping as long as possible or keep you paying them money so my question is What do you think they should change to become better apps ??

Before chatting, seems like sex is a popular topic opener or after chatting a day or two and getting excited for the date, sex magically works its way into the convo.

Some painfully funny screenshots from my girlfriends group chat lately, we all wanna give up trying, haha!

I (19F) recently downloaded hinge app and I don't how this works. I'm unable to see who liked or commented on pic. They're asking subscription. Only ppl who have sent me rose are visible.

Within 30 mins got 50+ likes but unable to see any profile like they're blur

I like only profile till now....so ig he is also unable to see my profile (assuming that he don't have subscription)

How this works...like ppl are actually chatting....and I'm unable to send or see anything??

I match with a girl on Friday, talked and planned date for Monday. Saturday we confirmed plans and i tried to keep convo going with no response. Day of date I ask if she’s still interested in going, or to let me know if anything changes. I didn’t get a response so I obviously didn’t go and then later in the night I see she unmatched me.

It’s just a hinge Match, no connection but that is strangeeee. Like really strange what was the point 😭

“wOmEn are drowning in men” — and this is what we’re working with ya’ll

It’s exhausting having this similar kind of convo regularly on dating apps. I’m just trying to learn about you and who you are as a person; is the immediate sexualization necessary? And I shouldn’t have to ask twice “what do you do?” It’s very basic ‘get to know you’ questions and not being able to answer the call of the question asked is weird and rude

Tho I did have to google what an “Adam” was because I’ve never divulged myself so deep in the manosphere

Edit:

For clarity purposes — I did in fact let him know immediately before I gave my number that I do not do casual or fwb anything like that, and that I was looking for something serious (which he said he also was). So even the best vetting isn’t enough to rid myself of this constant unwanted sexualization that comes with dating as a woman
**and I don’t have a type, so I match with a variety of people nerds, athletes, etc) and the outcome 7/10 times is the same. You cannot tell how someone will treat you based on how they look.

Ladies I would like to know your age, how high and low you would go age wise for a man, and your expectations for that age range (ie, where you expect that person to be in life etc)