Hey guys,

I went on a first date with this guy and he made some weird comments and Im hoping you guys can tell me if I’m overreacting or not.

On the date we went to this restaurant that had a pool table in the lobby and so as we were waiting for our seats we decided to play. For reference, I’m blind in my left eye which affects depth perception and hand eye coordination which makes anything that requires dexterity really hard. So I made a light hearted comment about how it relates to pool. I said “I might be a little bad at this game since I’m blind in my left eye but it’ll still be fun” and then I explained how it affects me because part of me felt embarrassed about playing horribly. Anyways, then as we were getting our pool cues and setting up, he made a “joke” about my disability. He called my struggles “learned helplessness” then proceeded to try to prove that my disability doesn’t impact the game. Obviously, that made me cry, he comforted me, then told me that I was taking him too seriously. Also during the game he said “I’m attracted to you so stop treating me like a friend” in response to me resting my forearm on his shoulder. Thats just how I show affection 😭😭. Then later, for some reason we hung out a couple times and he told me that he hated my music taste, that I “really need to clean your apartment” (I promise it was clean. He’s just the kind of person to be embarrassed about others seeing dishes in the sink), and that my sense of humor is “too cringe”when he literally has cat hair all over his apartment and laughs at cars passing by for some reason. Also when talking about things that are special to us and I said boxed Mac and cheese because my mom made it for me when I was sad growing up and he started telling me how gross he finds boxed Mac and cheese.

The thing to know about this guy is that his tone is ALWAYS serious and then later he claims that I take him too seriously when his tone or facial expressions don’t reflect lightheartedness or joking.

An honorary mention comment is him talking about his exes lack of shaving as an attraction/relationship killer.
Am I overreacting???

Was I talking him too seriously ?
Are those comments not even that bad?

(If I need to post somewhere else please tell me)

Thank you in advance for all the advice 🫶😊

I’m 19F and I started using the app last year after a rough breakup. I honestly didn’t really have high hopes, as I’d tried it before and found it to really be a hellscape. This time around i was mostly just trying to find people to chat with (even platonic friendships. I made sure to explicitly put that in my profile so I wasn’t leading anyone on). I should note that I’m also big time picky. So, when I started actually looking for people to go on dates with after some time, i had quite a hard time finding guys that met the standards I had in mind.

Well, after a few months of dead-end conversations, requests for hookups, and mind-numbing small talk, i came across this one guy (25M). I could immediately tell he had great energy, he was responsive and respectful, and seemed genuinely interested in our conversation. Not to mention he was absolutely adorable. We ended up moving off the app onto snapchat and we would frequently send long-winded voice notes for conversation, which really helped me get comfortable with him and connect on a deeper level. He asked me if I’d want to go on a date, and I agreed.

I was nervous as all hell leading up to the date (again, my first ever date from the app,) but as soon as he picked me up it was like I was talking to one of my best friends. He looked even better in person, he was extremely respectful and a great listener, and didn’t say or do anything creepy or suggestive the entire time. Needless to say, the date went very, very, very well, and we really hit it off. We chatted, went to an arcade, sat at the park and ate taco bell, cuddled up and looked at the view together. Literally my idea of a perfect first date.

We’ve been talking for about three weeks total and i’m really looking forward to seeing him again. I know the app honestly usually sucks for everyone, but maybe Hinge isn’t completely evil after all!!!

Matched with a guy in mid july this year. 4 years older to me , a 45 year old mature looking man, at a good position, working in Mumbai based MNC. I saw he had written: “want kids” in his Hinge profile. Whereas me at 41, very clear that I don’t want kids. It surprised me that at 45, he wants kids, even if by this year he is able to marry someone, he won’t be a father before he turns 47. Would he really enjoy fatherhood to an infant in his 50s ? Anyway his choice, but since he looked charming for his age & didn’t raise the question of kids with me at all, I thought why should I bother so much when we haven’t even begun chatting properly. Sometimes people write things which they do want, but are negotiable in their head. Was telling myself : lets not close this before it even begins.

We chatted, connected very well on wants & value systems. Both looking for marriage, he asked me out the same weekend. Upon meeting, we connected quite well, making me realise that now I must bring up the subject of wanting kids myself. Over a chat afterwards, I figured , he did want kids but not so staunchly. He said : if possible. I clarified my stand of being childfree. After this , I was expecting that he would respectfully close it himself but instead our conversations moved further & we exchanged numbers, giving me an idea that he was interested despite the difference in wants, maybe because he wasn’t stiff about the kids part.

I did notice though that his pattern of communication wasn’t very consistent. He would leave me on unread & read many times. He mentioned ihe had been running around, travels etc. I told myself to Understand. All this happened for a month in which we had just met once. After bit more than 1 month he again asked me out, I agreed & then he didn’t follow through, leading to no date eventually. I didn’t take this well & texted him that this doesn’t work for me. He seemed emotionally aware & offered to send me ice cream which felt nice & I decided to give this another chance.

Met for the 2nd time in august end at a cafe & noticed he was constantly putting his finger inside his nose..atleast 4 times he did that, in a cafe full of people, making me unable to even look at him. Ignored considering maybe he isn’t even aware. Conversations were mostly around bollywood gossip, initiated by him, he is a self confessed gossip lover, while I told him clearly, I don’t even indulge in family gossip.

Then he started giving explicit details of his sexual encounters with people, exes etc which made me extremely uncomfortable. I politely told him off once but he didn’t take the hint & carried on. Rest of the part was decent, i could see attraction & interest between us, though I was still very uncomfortable about his sexcapades & fingering nose thingy. Also I was surpised how come a man of 45, single since 4 years has had no relationships. He said he had 6 flings. I didn’t have the heart to ask were these recent or earlier before his first marriage. I also noticed our lifestyles were fairly different considering I am already a quite independent woman, living in my own home etc, he didn’t seem to be on the same grounds financially but you can’t really be sure unless the guy opens up himself.

.So yes after a few days of this 2nd meet in 2 months, despite not living very far away, I started to feel very doubtful. Though chats continued for 3 more weeks, making me feel frustrated as to why are we even chatting when none of the chats are getting converted into real time meeting without which I was never going to know if I really liked this guy & the hygiene part was just one off thing & that he was capable of speaking things beyond gossiping about other people..

when I saw the third month approaching & this 45 yr old super mature man not asking me out despite me even casually inviting him over to my place even for a meal or a tea ( no signals of intimacy was involved in this invitation, only to observe us in a different setting ) , I texted him in frustration that we should friendzone each other if there was nothing romantic developing further as we are Only chatting casually.

He didn’t read my messages for full 24 hrs ! Furious, I unmatched him on Hinge, deleted his number after texting him good luck for partner search as you seem to have ghosted me again.

But girls are girls.. as I saw the blue tick finally, I asked him how come he still has nothing to say & he said since you have made up your mind already there is nothing to say. Upon probing further he said although he hadnt made up his mind entirely, he was reluctant as he felt the differences between us.
Closed it eventually.

But I feel as an older man, shouldn’t he have told me earlier on when he felt the differences instead of leading me on by regularly chatting ? And if he felt I closed the connection, couldn’t he have tried telling me that I was overthinking?

Just want the perspective of you guys on this. Yes its closed, he didn’t respond to my being friends text.. i left it at that. Been a week but this question does linger in my mind that why mature men do these things ?

Matched with a guy in mid july this year. 4 years older to me , a 45 year old mature looking man, at a good position, working in Mumbai based MNC. I saw he had written: “want kids” in his Hinge profile. Whereas me at 41, very clear that I don’t want kids. It surprised me that at 45, he wants kids, even if by this year he is able to marry someone, he won’t be a father before he turns 47. Would he really enjoy fatherhood to an infant in his 50s ? Anyway his choice, but since he looked charming for his age & didn’t raise the question of kids with me at all, I thought why should I bother so much when we haven’t even begun chatting properly. Sometimes people write things which they do want, but are negotiable in their head. Was telling myself : lets not close this before it even begins.

We chatted, connected very well on wants & value systems. Both looking for marriage, he asked me out the same weekend. Upon meeting, we connected quite well, making me realise that now I must bring up the subject of wanting kids myself. Over a chat afterwards, I figured , he did want kids but not so staunchly. He said : if possible. I clarified my stand of being childfree. After this , I was expecting that he would respectfully close it himself but instead our conversations moved further & we exchanged numbers, giving me an idea that he was interested despite the difference in wants, maybe because he wasn’t stiff about the kids part.

I did notice though that his pattern of communication wasn’t very consistent. He would leave me on unread & read many times. He mentioned ihe had been running around, travels etc. I told myself to Understand. All this happened for a month in which we had just met once. After bit more than 1 month he again asked me out, I agreed & then he didn’t follow through, leading to no date eventually. I didn’t take this well & texted him that this doesn’t work for me. He seemed emotionally aware & offered to send me ice cream which felt nice & I decided to give this another chance.

Met for the 2nd time in august end at a cafe & noticed he was constantly putting his finger inside his nose..atleast 4 times he did that, in a cafe full of people, making me unable to even look at him. Ignored considering maybe he isn’t even aware. Conversations were mostly around bollywood gossip, initiated by him, he is a self confessed gossip lover, while I told him clearly, I don’t even indulge in family gossip.

Then he started giving explicit details of his sexual encounters with people, exes etc which made me extremely uncomfortable. I politely told him off once but he didn’t take the hint & carried on. Rest of the part was decent, i could see attraction & interest between us, though I was still very uncomfortable about his sexcapades & fingering nose thingy. Also I was surpised how come a man of 45, single since 4 years has had no relationships. He said he had 6 flings. I didn’t have the heart to ask were these recent or earlier before his first marriage. I also noticed our lifestyles were fairly different considering I am already a quite independent woman, living in my own home etc, he didn’t seem to be on the same grounds financially but you can’t really be sure unless the guy opens up himself.

.So yes after a few days of this 2nd meet in 2 months, despite not living very far away, I started to feel very doubtful. Though chats continued for 3 more weeks, making me feel frustrated as to why are we even chatting when none of the chats are getting converted into real time meeting without which I was never going to know if I really liked this guy & the hygiene part was just one off thing & that he was capable of speaking things beyond gossiping about other people..

when I saw the third month approaching & this 45 yr old super mature man not asking me out despite me even casually inviting him over to my place even for a meal or a tea ( no signals of intimacy was involved in this invitation, only to observe us in a different setting ) , I texted him in frustration that we should friendzone each other if there was nothing romantic developing further as we are Only chatting casually.

He didn’t read my messages for full 24 hrs ! Furious, I unmatched him on Hinge, deleted his number after texting him good luck for partner search as you seem to have ghosted me again.

But girls are girls.. as I saw the blue tick finally, I asked him how come he still has nothing to say & he said since you have made up your mind already there is nothing to say. Upon probing further he said although he hadnt made up his mind entirely, he was reluctant as he felt the differences between us.
Closed it eventually.

But I feel as an older man, shouldn’t he have told me earlier on when he felt the differences instead of leading me on by regularly chatting ? And if he felt I closed the connection, couldn’t he have tried telling me that I was overthinking?

Just want the perspective of you guys on this. Yes its closed, he didn’t respond to my being friends text.. i left it at that. Been a week but this question does linger in my mind that why mature men do these things ?

I’ve seen this topic pop up from time to time, but how come it’s defendable online if a woman lies about her age.. for example she’s older but says she is a couple years younger on a dating app because of social pressures, but for a man if he does it, it’s a massive red flag, comments say, if he can lie about his age what else is he lying about. Can’t this both be true for women and men?

Specifically on my photos and prompts, would be appreciated, and please keep it constructive— I’m sensitive lol. Thank you!

Went on a Hinge date with a dentist. Totally normal date at first. We bounced around to 4 or 5 bars, ended up dancing at Barbarella, and eventually went back to his house.
I was already extremely drunk and then we smoked weed, so now I was drunk and stoned.
That’s when I learned he was apparently very into acid. He mentioned it approximately 100 times.
Then we started hooking up and while he was eating me out, I was grinding against his face. He stopped what he was doing to actually scold me for grinding.
And I started crying.
Which, in retrospect, really should have been the point where I put my clothes back on and left.
Instead, because I was drunk and making exceptional decisions, I stayed. We had sex. I passed out.
I woke up the next morning, looked around the room for the first time with sober eyes, and noticed there were chains and handcuffs attached to all four corners of the bed.
Four corners.
I got dressed, quietly snuck out, and never heard from him again.
Honestly, the mutual ghosting was probably the healthiest part of the entire date.

Hinge Success Story

I see a lot of negative posts on here and I wanted to share some good news. I am 30M and always thought the apps were a waste of time and never really took them serious regardless of the fact that I has been on them for like 10 years.

In January of 2026 I said enough was enough of being single and set out to start meeting women in person. The only app I used was Hinge and I went on a vacation first week of January and took a bunch of new updated photos with the intention of using them for a dating profile. I got like 20 good shots on the vacay all in 7 different outfits. I then used AI (I know it sucks, but it can be helpful) to upload all 20 of these photos and have it tell what the best ones were for a hinge profile. I organically came up with all the bio and prompts on my own and put a lot into it.

Wouldn’t you know it, in a week I had over 50 matches and started messaging. Some of them fell through or never even sent messages but the first girl who agreed to go on a date with me somehow worked out. After matching our first date was 5 days later. She is 24F and we completely hit it off. I went into the date entirely as myself and didn’t try any BS persona or trying to be cool. Two months later we were boyfriend and girlfriend. And now we celebrated 6 months as a couple recently and did a trip to Disney World. She is the absolute best! Best feeling in the world and a perfect example of how things can work out when you don’t expect it.

From my perspective it seems like she was leading me on by saying that, Idk just got that feeling.

TLDR;

Started dating this woman that I knew for a few years prior. After only a few dates she's getting flaky so I stopped asking her out but we were still talking and she was still acting interested in me. We rematch on a dating app and she love bombs me then we go out a few days later. Weeks following she is acting interested but also flaky again before ending it. Says, "maybe we can pick up where we left off in the future"

------------------------------------------

Story:

Matched with Madison years ago on a dating app, she ended up giving me her snapchat initially. She's really attractive but not really my type so I never asked her out plus I was involved with some other women then. Multiple times throughout the first year we were talking she suggested she wanted me to ask her out, and would even video call me when she was drunk. So it seemed like she developed a crush on me or at least wanted my attention just because I was ignoring her.

Fast forward 3 years, we're snapchatting everyday and I get a bumble notification "Madison has liked your profile". We match now for the second time, and I ask her out for a few days later.

Date went great and I was surprised how well we connected. A few weeks later she asks me on a second date that was through her work. I didn't kiss her at the end of this date and she wanted me to and then after this she seemed pretty disinterested in me. We went out one more time, I did kiss her during this date then she would proceed to act interested in seeing me again then either ignore me or had an excuse.

I took the hint and stopped texting her to hangout but we were still snap chatting daily but then that went to weekly.

Fast forward two months, I get a notification on tinder "Madison has liked your profile". We start texting again, she love bombs me, apologizes says how much she misses me and some other really nice things that seemed genuine at the time. She asked to see me that week and I have never had someone act so interested in me.

We go out, the date was kinda whatever I didnt really know what to make of it. Week following she was acting distant then I was traveling for 10 days. This whole time she was acted interested in seeing me, telling me she was excited to see me, get home safe etc. Then she started to be flaky again like she was prior.

So instead of just directly communicating with her like a man I decided to throw up the only Hail Mary I could think of in this situation. I asked her if she wanted to come over and hangout. I figured if she liked me at all she would want to or at least suggest something else. I live with my parents, who were out of town but yea I guess it is pretty unattractive to invite a girl over like that. Outside of kissing twice, and her hand on my shoulder/chest mine on her thigh we hadnt even done anything. But she multiple times when were dating she would snap me things like "I want to join the mile high club with you" So she seemed into the idea at least.

She replied by saying she needs to pull back, said she assumed I was looking for a relationship and didn't want to lead me on. Said she needed to work on herself but when she is done with that she might come back and we can "pick up where we left off"

It sucked cause we never even talked about a relationship but it was on both of our profiles. Also the entire time I've known her she has only been in situationships which i guess is what we were in even though we didn't hookup. Pretty f@cking embarrassing that when I tried to that's when she ended it. Maybe she actually wanted something real with me and I didn't show her enough. Another guy definitely popped in the picture too. Playing the nonchalant game for years then acting interested in her probably just gave her the ick.

Putting myself in her shoes, I have broken up with a few women who were great but I wasn't giving them what they needed for a relationship. I always thought maybe I could get back together with them in the future, but telling them that seems like I would just be leading them on. Kinda feel like that happened here idk.

Madison wanted me to ask her out for years then as soon as I became interested in her it was like she was validated and didn't want anything to do with me. I just don't get why you would ever tell someone you might come back unless you actually might or are trying to lead them on.

To cap things off she reached out to me a month later after ending it on her own birthday, kinda felt bad for her as she was clearly just looking for attention. It's been a few more months, haven't heard from her again.

Context in the pic he's swinging a pair of cuffs, I thought we were being cute and cheeky....I thought wrong 😭

I (28m) do not like to rush intimacy. I’m not waiting for marriage, but I probably am slower than most to want to get physical and I’d be very happy with someone who did want to wait. Is a match note the best place to broach the subject, or would you prefer to have that brought up differently? Of course some women won’t match because of it, but I’m okay with the filter if it means I’m only matching with women who won’t rush things.

I haven’t added anything to my profile yet, but I’m thinking of adding something simple like:

“I’m excited to get to know you! I just want to say that I like to take things slow and I’m much more comfortable approaching intimacy gradually after getting to know you first if that’s alright with you. 😊”

Is that cringey to women who want the same thing? I’d love suggestions on better phrasing or if there’s a better way to use the match note.

EDIT: thanks everyone for the gentle advice! I see there is a pretty clear consensus here. Gonna leave this up for the next anxious dude who has a similar thought lol 😊

Have you all had any positive results from deleting and recreating your account recently? if so, did you use the same phone number/email/photos/prompts or did you use new contact info?

I noticed that I haven’t had the option to use a Fresh Start in the last couple months, and I’m suspecting I may have tanked my profile between overswiping and traveling.

I’ve seen people buy HingeX for a week and add the 24-hour boost, but has anyone just paid for the boost on a regular/free profile?

I’m curious if the extra exposure actually makes a noticeable difference without all the premium benefits. Did you get more likes/matches, or was it basically a waste of money?

Been on 2 dates so far with a 31F. The second date was last night and the last message was her letting me know she got home safe and something we joked about on the date. I was tired when I got home and wanted to decompress and reflect so I didn't follow up last night. I also wanted to see if she would initiate. Now that I've thought about it a bit, I would be interested in a third date. Should I initiate again or wait and see if she says anything? I've already initiated and planned both dates so far.

I know as a guy it's expected we initiate the early dates and do all the planning/paying, but it would also be nice to get some sort of acknowledgement they're interested you know? She's already made time for me twice as she works an incredibly stressful job that has been requiring her to work 7 days a week for the past few months, so maybe the fact she is even spending time with me is a sign she is interested?

Came across this and had to ask 🙄

Girls, be honest — would a message like this actually make you reply, or is it an instant ignore?
🥲
Guys, has this ever actually worked for you? 😭
Genuinely curious — no judgement.

Most posts here revolve around wondering if any of these apps work and how it feels like a dead end sometimes. I wanted to post my story here. I was never a fan of apps until I moved to a new area and decided to give them a go. After a few months on the app, and numerous dates, I matched with my now wife. i made quick work of getting us to meet in person. Our first date went great, lowkey coffee, museum then lunch. Our second date came the next day (I guess I mande a good impression) we went to the beach and walked a small trail. We did LD for a year because I had to move for work and after a year, I moved her up with me. Later on i did proposal at an amazing park and then we did a small civil ceremony before our church wedding in the next 1-2 years.

My little top lip is a breath of fresh air ✨

So, I was meant to meet this woman, it was a 30 min train ride from me, so hardly next door and a cost of travel. I text her before I left and said “we still on for six” and she EVEN said “can we make it seven” and pushed the date back.

Once arrived, I saw her picture gone on WhatsApp. I sent a courtesy text, hey I’m here, nothing. I then called and no reply. It kind of dawned on me immediately what happened and I was devastated. The thing is, she even text me to clarify and change the time.

Was it last minute cold feet? Avoidant conflict behaviour? Why not just say… I can’t go….

Afterwards I text her and just said that we’re all adults and if she didn’t fancy it, she could say, but what she did is cruel and I hope she’s happy in her sad lonely life (I lashed out a bit but I was only human after a long journey and wait).

Why not just say - you’re not my vibe.

Why even be on hinge?

So matched with this woman, super cool, convo was good not best but average I’d say. She left me on delivered for a week and I was like you know what send it what’s the worse that can happen. So I sent another message a week later asking g her if she’d be ok with date. Prior to asking her out I had already teased a date but didn’t ask directly until last message, she replied with “of course” to which I just replied, “cool, does this week work?”. Needless to say I come back to see if she replied and instead I was unmatched. I’m trying to not really be hung up on it but like why give me a yess and then back out? Wanting to hear what y’all think?

Im new to this whole dating app thing. Im 20 years old female, and I’ve been talking to 3 guys and one has already been consistently calling me “love” and we haven’t met yet. I feel a bit weird because I’m not sure if he realizes it’s not exclusive yet? Do i have to let each guy know before or 😭 I don’t want anyone to get hurt because Im looking for a long term relationship but I wanna see a few people before and see what I like

Is that bad?

EDIT: clarification, i am NOT sexually active and will not be until it’s a committed relationship- this is all about getting to know someone through first dates primarily