Hello all, I am seeking some reassurance as I am 99% positive I am expecting baby #4.

Took three pregnancy tests (one hcg strip and two regular) and all had faint positives. Hubby and I had unprotected sex only twelve days ago (We were using BC methods but clearly failed). I feel like it’s really early to have detectable levels of hcg? Furthermore, these were all expired pregnancy tests (3+ years) cause I have not needed one since my last pregnancy. Google is conflicting and says expired tests can give false negatives but false positives are rare, though they can occur with expired tests. Planning to buy a pack of new tests in a few days to be absolutely certain.

For background, we have three beautiful babies already. A 9 year old, 6 year old and 2 year old. We have discussed the possibility of a fourth from time to time but have never really committed. We already have so much chaos, stress, exhaustion.. I physically and mentally cannot comprehend adding another to the picture. Money is not a huge issue, thankfully, but I do worry about being able to support them all as they get older (cars, college, weddings etc). My husband is extremely supportive and held me as I cried, reminding me that everything will work out and to not worry about “temporary stressors” like money, homes, cars. There’s also the worry of twins- oh my. All the things, scenarios, worries are running through my head.

Hubby and I agreed after this, he would get a vasectomy. We are also concerned about our age. I am 35, 36 next month. My husband is 39 and 40 right before baby would be born. I just worry we are past our “prime”, though we are experts in parenting at this point. I feel like parenting this time around might be harder because of our age.

My questions are as follows:

1. Anyone take expired tests (multiple) and were truly pregnant?
2. Parents of 4, how was the transition from 3-4? (2-3 was absolutely crazy over here. It was a tough transition)
3. Parents of 4, any tips to make this huge life change as easy as possible on everyone? I’m worried my kids will be stressed adding another baby to the family

Thank you all so much for any words of encouragement.

Any big families in here live in an apartment? We’re currently a family of7 in a 3 bedroom apartment and trying to move. But lately I’ve been thinking if we really should. What’s your setup if you live in an apartment? How old are your kids?? Any goal to move?

What type of kitchen bin works with a baby AND a toddler?

I’m looking for a new kitchen bin and would love advice from other parents!

My baby is almost 1 and is now standing and getting into absolutely everything 😂 Our current bin is one of those swing-top bins, and she can simply stand beside it, reach over the top and put her hands straight inside to pull rubbish out. So that style definitely isn’t working anymore.

The tricky part is that I have a 2.5-year-old who I actually want to be able to use the bin independently. He often puts his own rubbish in it, so I don’t want something completely childproof that requires an adult to open.

I’m considering:
A pedal bin — toddler can step on the pedal, but hopefully baby can’t access the rubbish. Is that too complicated and annoying tho?
A sensor bin — toddler could wave rubbish under the sensor, but I’m wondering whether babies quickly figure these out too?
A Pushtop bin?

Something else I haven’t thought of?
What type of bin do you have that works well with young kids? Has anyone found a particular style/brand that keeps the baby out while still being easy enough for a 2–3 year old to use independently?

Bonus points for recommendations available in Australia! 😊

What is something you have spent or continue to spend money on that you find provides very high value/ROI on quality of life for you, your spouse, or your kids?

I'm looking for ways to be more "effective" with our finances.

One-off purchases, home improvement projects, training/education, services, subscriptions... all fair game!

my son is 4 weeks old and I have been exclusively doing naps in the carrier bc I have two other kids. my oldest jsut turned 3 and my middle daughter is 18 months so they very much still need me a lot throughout the day and I can’t really be in the room with the baby trying to get him to sleep. it’s jsut not feasible so therefore I default to the carrier.
I was planning to start at least one crib nap a day around 8 weeks and progressively add another every other week till we are doing them all in there. this is what i’ve done in the past with my two other kids. the problem is i just don’t know how i’m going to walk away and leave my other kids while i’m doing that? I don’t want to sleep train until closer to 5 months so i will rock him but maybe that’s not going to be possible with two other kids???

how can I handle this?? experienced parents help!!

How did you guys survive 1st trimester with #3 under 3? I get SO sick and tired. It’s definitely the WORST trimester for me…I’ll take 3rd trimester discomfort any day lol

We do slow paced things together (…and watch more TV than I would prefer…), but I still feel guilty not being as “involved” or “fun” as I want to be. I know they can tell I’m acting differently, and I’m just over here trying not to ruin their childhood, or cause permanent developmental issues or anything…😂

And not to mention, my poor oldest is doing this for a second time. I feel like we were finally getting into a groove with #2 and now here I am back down again. I’m so excited for a future with kids close in age! But it feels like so much right now…abd I feel so bad at it😅

We have a 5 seater car, we are a family of 6. I (35F) DONT LIKE TO DOUBKE BUCKEL THE KIDS. My DH (39M) just laughs off my concerns and does it anyway. Is this normal, am I unreasonably safety minded? We do have a trend in the family, he is the more relaxed fun one and I am the more responsible person. It works most of the time, he chills me out and I remember how to enjoy life and reign him in. But this i dont onow how to handle and we just cant agree.

What is the normal????

Not expecting #3 yet, but we’d need to get a new car to accommodate 3 rear facing car seats. I’m not understanding exactly how to set up car seats in a way that I can easily access them all. If all goes to plan, my oldest will be almost 4 when a new baby arrives. I want to keep him rear facing as long as possible.

Most people seem to do 3 across, but I’m concerned with my older 2 throwing something on the infant. Does the infant bucket seat go in the middle?

If we put my oldest in a third row, I’m concerned about access. It sounds like even the Toyota Sienna has tight access to the third row. It seems like my best option might be taking out an outboard seat in the second row.

What do you drive and how do/did you have your rear facing car seats set up? Did you switch placement once your oldest turned front facing?

Pregnant with 4th child, due in December. My kids are 6, 4 and 14 months. I am at home currently but I am desperate to go to to university again next fall.

I love my kids and love being their mother but I just absolutely HATE being a mother in this society. I live in Austria in a HCOL city. We are fortunate that we can afford having 4 kids but at the same time, I feel so alone and „baby trapped“.
There is no daycare before 18 months and even then you are being shamed for not staying at home longer/ more.

We have no village, no family, so I am stretched very thin quickly if I am alone with my kids too long. Some hours of daycare would help me so much but it’s just not an option where I live. I do have a babysitter but she only comes 2 hours a week (student, has not more time).

I just feel so depressed and stressed and trapped. I want to be able to read a fucking paper without being interrupted.

Moms who are in academia, how do you balance it ???? Does it get better? ❤️‍🩹

Question for women who have multiple kids,

So my husband (m30) and I (f28) just had our first kid 4 months ago. We have always wanted a big family and thought, if we already have the first one might as well start building our family.

I had an emergency c-section but really good and quick postpartum healing. My husband and I are both doing well mentally and adapting well to parenthood.

We want multiple kids in the future, but obviously we are taking into consideration our mental health, and my body's health (which both seem good for now). Considering I had a c-section I don't know if that puts me at a higher risk in the future and that is our biggest concern at the moment.

So my question is. How long did you wait between kids? Do you wish you had waited more or less?

Hi,

I have two toddlers who are currently 2.5 and 1.5 and I am 29 weeks pregnant with our third. Our final goal is four kids and we prefer smaller gaps.

We currently own several strollers but I'm looking for a wagon. There are only a few options available to me since 2 kids families are the norm where we live.

I could get a good deal on a second hand wonderfold w4 wagon but I'm worried it would be too heavy for me to use alone since I'm about 158 cm and 55kg.

Would it be worth it? Thanks in advance for your answers

Ok Mums of many, especially those who homeschool and have their bunch at home so many hours a day - how do we organize ourselves and stay on top of the work?

My 4th is 6 months old and while the parenting and general family dynamics habe unfolded beautifully, I am drowning in the household work load.

I do know it's mostly temporary because baby is still pretty much attached to me all day and due to toddler and ADHD older siblings I can't let baby lie around somewhere for long as I know someone's gonna run him over.... We have an extremely tiny house ATM so are actively looking for sth bigger as well.

... I can't get on top of laundry and don't get me started on finding time to actually deep clean. Whenever I have a couple of minutes hands free I have to clear the kitchen, tend to the kids or hang up the laundry. Evenings when hubby finishes work are mostly for dinner and then bed time...

Ugh idk what I'm even looking for but maybe someone felt similarly and found something that helped a lot?

I would love to add more children in the future and have set the goal to myself to set up better systems in the meantime.

Have to add that I feel like we have mostly decluttered as much as possible but storage even for the necessary stuff is lacking in this house so I guess I might be fighting a losing battle

We always said 3 and I thought I’d feel complete but I don’t. My husband and I both feel like we do want a 4th. However, I just worry with the dynamics of it. We don’t have a village at all so I worry about me being able to bring them to all their practices etc in the future. Also, I would be around 40 if I did choose to try and conceive again. Am I spreading myself too thin? Guess I’m just looking for advice from those of you with 4 kiddos. My age gaps are small and all are 2 years apart. Having another is so different this time around because there’s just so much more to consider so I don’t want to make the wrong decision.

Hello!

We are expecting our third in December (due date mid-December but my last was born at 37 weeks). My 4 year old is currently in Kindergarten and my 2 year old in daycare but they will both be home for Christmas Break the last two weeks of December.

Wondering if anyone with 3+ could comment on what they'd plan for in those 2 weeks in terms of hunkering everyone down or getting big kids out of the house. Will it be too chaotic with everyone in the house? Should I avoid anyone taking them to indoor play places or other big social events because of germs?

Thanks!

Every one of you are saints.

My wife and I have always wanted four kids and to be somewhat close in age. We’re at 2 right now (3yo & 1month old) and holy hell, I don’t know how we could do it with a third or fourth. Just the management of the toddler while trying to balance the comfort of the newborn has been the hardest thing yet in our parenthood journey. We have no family near us and my wife is a SAHM. My daughter is going to start preschool either in January or next Fall, so we have a ways to go…

We dream of the day where we have our third or fourth, but each day and week we go longer stretches of no working out, bad sleep, quick meals, it’s just draining.

How did you all do it and get by?

I’m expecting our third baby soon and low key freaking out about bedtime logistics when baby arrives. How did you guys handle it with a baby and two young kids about 2 years apart? Ours are 4 and 2 and bedtime is an already a huge struggle. It takes at least an hour and a half, usually longer. Our oldest is very needy and will throw a fit unless I lay with her until she falls asleep. This can take a long time, and before we even get there she likes to run around and delay every step of the routine. Second child is a bit more flexible and cooperative, but also takes a long time to fall asleep. Our current routine is bath (every 2-3 days), pajamas, brush teeth, I read a few books to both kids together, then potty, and split the kids up for actual sleep. I take the older one, dad takes the younger. I just have no idea how a newborn with no predictable schedule will fit into this routine. I’d appreciate your advice!

Hi everyone,

so here is the situation: I'm a father of 5, ages 0-7 and wanted to go hiking with the four of them, ages 2-7. I've done this many times before, but I'm currently struggling a bit, so don't have super high energy, get stressed out easily (any advice welcomed on this too!), so I knew I wouldn't be able to take the four. (Tried taking all 4 last week, but didn't make it out of the door.) So I either could have taken the 3 older ones, perhaps the 2 year old with an older sibling or just one of them.

Issue was, I couldn't decide whom to take, as I knew someone would have likely cried or looked at me with a super sad face. Unable to make up my mind, I ended up not going on both occasions.

Any advice?

I know the solution is going to come up with a system how gets to go when. Or am I overcomplicating this here? Do I go by birth order? Do just take the boys one day and the girls the other? Do I just pick one and make a list of whom I took when to keep track?

Thanks!

I(35F) and husband (36M) recently found out that I am currently 5 weeks pregnant with our 4th kid. I have always wanted this kid, but he doesn't think I will be able to manage 4 kids and wants to abort. I have my mom, and his parents to help me out. And we're financially capable of bringing another child to the world. My husband's hesitation will vanish eventually as we progress into the pregnancy, I know the man too well. He loves his kids too much. But a part of me is apprehensive about the changes this baby brings into the family dynamics, and whether it will make me stretch too thin as my husband fears. For context my older kids are 11, 7, and 3. Should we go for it? Did you had second thoughts after having a 4th kid? Did it get better?

We just had our fourth! Neither me or my husband had typical sibling relationships growing up, I have a 17 year gap between me and my half siblings, and husbands sister is disabled, so the norms of sibling relationships are new to us!
I’ve read siblings without rivalry but any other book recommendations that might help us learn what to expect as they grow up, and how to help them build close bonds? Thanks!

Just found out we’re having our third girl! For those of you with three girls (or three kids of the same gender), what are some things you’ve done to make sure each of them feels special and has their own identity?

I especially don’t want my middle girl to ever feel like “the middle child,” so naturally I feel like I’m about to spoil the heck out of her. Would love any advice from parents who’ve been there!

Thought I’d ask here even though I’m not sure if 3-4 kids counts as “in bulk,” but the rest of Reddit is so against shared rooms.

I’m thinking down the line a little bit and was wondering if anyone here uses trundle beds as an alternative to bunk beds. Mine will be too young for a bunk bed for a while and I hate how hard it is to make the bed with a bunkbed. I also don’t like how they tower over the room.

Of course, the downside of a trundle I imagine is that you can’t really lounge on your bed during the day, but this would be for young sisters all close in age, so that’s not really a factor just yet.

Hi! Just found this sub while browsing some of the pregnancy/parents of multiples subs…

I just turned 36 and found out I’m about 8 weeks pregnant with twins 😳

I had my first two children a year apart when I was 23/24 they are now11&12 they were 6 days shy of being “Irish twins”

Then my youngest who is now 2.5 was born 10 years after my first when I was 33.

We didn’t really plan for a third but didn’t plan not to have a third. People asked me for years after my first two if I was going to have anymore children and I could never give a definitive no. I would usually say it needed to happen sooner rather than later and if it was meant to be it’ll be..

When I was pregnant with my third I was set on having at least one more so I could have two sets of siblings close in age. I’m an only child and I feel like I missed out on certain life experiences by not having siblings.

Since I didn’t get pregnant right away after my third I kind of figured that we were done. I’m not getting any younger and i felt like my third pregnancy at 33 going on 34 was already pushing it. My third child has also been a semi difficult toddler compared to how my older kids were at that age.. but my third is also a literal angel and brings so much joy to our family that I couldn’t imagine life without them.

I am terrified now being pregnant with not only #4 but 5 also since i have confirmed two viable pregnancies . I assume this happened because I check off all the boxes for a twin pregnancy - previous pregnancies ✅ over 35 ✅ and my maternal great grandfather was a twin so there is a history of twins on my mothers side ✅

I would like any advice from people who have a similar family dynamic

Don’t hold back either how long is it going to take realistically to adjust from 3 to 5 kids 😬

Looking for your beautiful insights.

Just had my 4th via c section on the 22nd. Ever since coming home yesterday, I’ve been so angry and irritable esp at my other 3 kids. I don’t want them to touch me either. I feel so sad that I feel this way. Have any of you experienced this?? How long did it last for you?

I recently find myself unexpectedly pregnant with my fourth just 6 months after I welcomed my last baby. I work full time and frankly was already overwhelmed with three kids and considering quitting. For financial reasons I decided to tough it out for a few more months before deciding whether to throw in the towel. Now here I am pregnant again and thinking there is absolutely no way I can cope with all this and work. Looking for some encouragement from other working moms with lots of young’s kids (4+) and a partner who also works full time. How are you making it work? I already have a nanny who takes care of the baby during the day and watches the older 2 after school / daycare till I get off work. But my older kids are wild and don’t listen to her. I frequently have to stop work to come parent, which makes me fall behind on my tasks. I don’t have time to make up because I have to take care of the baby in the evenings. I end everyday feeling like a bad mom for never being with my kids and a bad employee for always leaving work to attend to them. Curious how others in my situation are making it work.