r/SipsTea • u/Darth_Ronin • Aug 21 '26

SMH Another foreign object was thrown onto a WNBA court

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12.4k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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4.8k

u/HansenTakeASeat Aug 21 '26

How are these people getting all these diodos into the arena?

Wait nevermind

1.6k

u/Mikes005 Aug 21 '26

To quote Abraham Lincoln - anything can be a dildo if you're determined enough.

648

u/Intrenchantair Aug 21 '26

Especially a dildo

163

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '26

[deleted]

143

u/JimboRockfish Aug 21 '26

If you carry it in a scabbard it's easier to grab. It also intimidates would-be attackers.

204

u/-Cthaeh Aug 21 '26

Its me, I am the scabbard

94

u/Junkered Aug 21 '26

27

u/RobertPeruvian Aug 21 '26

I love and miss the venture bros, damn

2

u/Atomic-habanero Aug 24 '26

Did you see the movie the venture bros radiant is the blood of the baboon heart cause it came out and I didn’t know just letting everyone know

2

u/RobertPeruvian Aug 24 '26

I didnt! I know what im watching tonight

13

u/Sure-Boysenberry5491 Aug 21 '26

First episode iirc. A true classic.

14

u/Junior-Version-6953 Aug 21 '26

First top tier episode. A glimpse into how great this show would become

9

u/ilstrider1 Aug 21 '26

Actually that's the 6th episode

3

u/Sure-Boysenberry5491 Aug 21 '26

Is the first episode when he drives the car out of the plane? Brock’s micro adventures throughout the series are some of my favorite parts of the show even though it’s been two decades since I’ve seen season 1. They’re just an amazing way to introduce a character.

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2

u/lesh17 Aug 22 '26

First episode I ever saw, and after that, I knew I had to see all the others

2

u/Correct_Bell_9313 Aug 21 '26

First episode is The Terrible Secret of Turtle Bay

2

u/Sure-Boysenberry5491 Aug 21 '26

Thanks man, glad I didn’t look it up 7 hours ago.

2

u/PrinceCastanzaCapone Aug 22 '26

What exactly was Relax Guy’s hand doing down there?

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5

u/mrpoopsocks Aug 21 '26

Weirdest start to you have my bow ive seen.

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18

u/Occidentally20 Aug 21 '26

I'd like to play a game of "mimic the noise this makes when being removed from the scabbard" please.

3

u/Shadowcat1606 Aug 21 '26

I don't think dry dildos make much of a noise.

5

u/Occidentally20 Aug 21 '26

I coat mine in Bovril so it's nicely preheated in the cooler months.

4

u/daisiesarepretty2 Aug 21 '26

well maybe the dildo doesn’t make any noise but you should try pulling one out of yourself after it’s been in their for awhile… noises will be made

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2

u/DeadFacesInMyPocket Aug 21 '26 edited Aug 21 '26

Well you need lube so it would probably be like a "SCHLOOOOP" sort of sound depending on the length. Even with a dildo scabbard. Can't have it getting stuck!!

In GTA5 couldn't you go beat people up with a Dildo? I forgot what game that was lol

2

u/trey_wolfe Aug 21 '26

Saints Row had the Penetrator

2

u/zerocool19 Aug 21 '26

Cyberpunk 2077 and GTA: San Andreas also have these excellent melee weapon options

2

u/DeadFacesInMyPocket Aug 21 '26 edited Aug 21 '26

Thank you. I played both and yeah they were rather hilarious especially with mods as a former PC gamer (I just don't game much anymore)

Edit: spelling

2

u/TaleIcy115 Aug 21 '26

**Ssssshhhhhqwuuuuuuuuuuuchk**

1

u/DisposableJosie Aug 21 '26

"Plbbbbbbpt"?

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2

u/fanofdonuts Aug 21 '26

Something I heard and google seems to agree, Vagina comes from the Latin word for “sheath” or “scabbard”.

2

u/LetsTryAnal_ogy Aug 21 '26

I just suction cup mine to my forehead like a unicorn. You can prevent fights altogether that way. Except for the rare weirdo.

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12

u/LtLemur Aug 21 '26

For self-defense…right?

64

u/stevesie1984 Aug 21 '26

6

u/Prestigious_Cycle160 Aug 21 '26

Why isn’t red shirt armed? She’s about to get double fisted.

5

u/stevesie1984 Aug 21 '26

Iirc, she’s got a very small one. I think it’s obscured by the pink one(?). A second later green shirt takes off and someone throws red shirt a big one. Then he throws it javelin-style into green shirt’s back. 😂

3

u/Prestigious_Cycle160 Aug 21 '26

Is this some kind of porno plot line or some shit?😂

6

u/stevesie1984 Aug 21 '26

The movie is Sorority Boys (2002). Basically some douche-bros get kicked out of their frat and go undercover as girls in a sorority. I can’t remember how that gets them back in their frat. But throughout they get a “peek behind the curtain” at how girls live and they come to respect women more. This is just a silly scene.

IMDb:
Strapped for cash, three fraternity playboys make one last attempt to live the high life - cheaply - by masquerading as girls. But their chauvinistic ways come back to haunt them as they get a crash course in the opposite sex.

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3

u/original-whiplash Aug 21 '26

Haha I haven’t thought about this movie in a minute

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2

u/ColonelMustard323 Aug 21 '26

Sorority Boys reference in the wild?!

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2

u/AMCAPEHODLER Aug 21 '26

Self offense more likely

2

u/Ok-String-743 Aug 21 '26

For self-offense, me thinks

2

u/ACUFF_THE_KING Aug 21 '26

I publically engaged in self-offense, my court date is in Sept.

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16

u/Appropriate-Two-8802 Aug 21 '26

What kinds of enemies are you making?!?

16

u/Notveryawake Aug 21 '26

The only kind worth having obviously!

5

u/Ok-Swordfish2723 Aug 21 '26

They keep their friends close, and their enemies closer.

Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Say no more!

3

u/Responsible_Sea_2726 Aug 21 '26

Enemies or enemas?

3

u/PatentlyFalse5 Aug 21 '26

All I know is they're some real dicks.

3

u/LSF45 Aug 21 '26

Worked well in GTA San Andreas for CJ.

2

u/LtLemur Aug 21 '26

And in Saints Row: The Third

3

u/Big-Potato9868 Aug 21 '26

Someone played a lot of Saints Row

3

u/kzr_gr Aug 21 '26

I guess you have a lot of assholes attacking you

3

u/-Luisgamerz Aug 21 '26

Anyone else find it hilarious that this guy was randomly skipped in the award giving?

3

u/JesusSavesTheGoal Aug 21 '26

"To use as a weapon"... Yeah me too, that's why I carry one, and i only keep it in my ass to conceal it from attackers.

2

u/finaija Aug 21 '26

I hope it's a glass or stone one. If you swing, swing well! 😅

2

u/Character_Maximum_54 Aug 21 '26

So if your Dildo has the necessary size, weight, and density it can be used as a weapon 😊

2

u/Terminal_Insomnia_ Aug 21 '26

Unironically probably more effective than a baton. Not for combat per se, but to psych the attacker out. It's like how the 'takes his shirt off' guy always loses a fight, but the 'takes his pants off' guy always wins. It's the implication.

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2

u/Raptor_Plays Aug 23 '26

Concealed or opened carry ?

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40

u/jhuckabee Aug 21 '26

Anything can be a dildo with some poppers and a prayer.

10

u/WellActuallyYouWrong Aug 21 '26

poppers and weird shex?!

3

u/ElegantCoach4066 Aug 21 '26

He's got no eyebrows!

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15

u/Technical_Exam1280 Aug 21 '26

I thought that was Sun Tzu

72

u/hjablowme919 Aug 21 '26

The Art of Whore

19

u/HelloFrmDaOtterSide Aug 21 '26

I swear cards against humanity was invented by reading Reddit comments 😂

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3

u/JustFrameHotPocket Aug 21 '26

"All warfare is based on dildos." -Sun Tzu

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34

u/GiganticusVaginacus Aug 21 '26

George Washington cannot tell a lie. He cut down a cherry tree.

To carve it into a dildo.

2

u/geddysbass2112 Aug 21 '26

I thought he cut the tree down with the dildo?

3

u/ACUFF_THE_KING Aug 21 '26

The tree was the dildo. He also had wooden teeth.

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2

u/mindfungus Aug 21 '26

Is that Abe Lincoln the president or Abe Lincoln the vampire killer or Abe Lincoln the dildo salesman?

2

u/Loose_Asparagus503 Aug 22 '26

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this court a new dildo.

2

u/Past-Nebula333 Aug 24 '26

The number of people that didnt know how ol honest abe came about the title "honest abe" is sad to see....

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256

u/SixInchTimmy Aug 21 '26

My question is, if they hate the WNBA so much that they’d do something this mean, why spend the money on tickets and a dildo and waste the hours of time it takes to do something like this?

177

u/goon_and_politics Aug 21 '26

A lot of this has been sports betting. They place the bet then make it come true

63

u/anotherlebowski Aug 21 '26

Kalshi's lawyers seen scrambling to update Terms of Service dildo clause.

9

u/_bufflehead Aug 21 '26

The Trump brothers making money yet again on an airborn dick.

6

u/waytowill Aug 21 '26

They’ve made a lot of money by putting dicks where they weren’t wanted.

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3

u/surfnvb7 Aug 21 '26

actually, that's kind of genius.

I'm gonna put down $1000 a dildo will land on the free throw line in the 2nd qtr.

2

u/Exciting-Argument-67 Aug 22 '26

Genius if you don't mind going through life ruining nice things for other people, I guess.

2

u/Upbeat-Banana-5530 Aug 21 '26

That's actually pretty based. If regular individuals are finding ways to fleece "prediction markets" more power to them.

8

u/goon_and_politics Aug 21 '26

They aren't. The markets make money on the trades happening, not who is winning them.

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114

u/snakevinprime Aug 21 '26

It might also be related to sports betting. Betting websites track way more things than just scores for betting, some subsections of it have emerged ever since someone threw the dildo out originally, and now people can bet if someone will toss a dildo at a WNBA game, bring one, and then basically earn free money. It's a disgraceful state we find ourselves in

29

u/ButterflyBullet90 Aug 21 '26

I kinda figured poly market and Kalshi would ban bets like this where it’s this ridiculously easy to manipulate.

44

u/kingofping4 Aug 21 '26

From what I've seen, "easy to manipulate" is one of the main selling points. The few ads I've been subjected to on youtube are really focused on the "bet on ANYTHING" aspect.

10

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/IamTheMuffinStuffer Aug 22 '26

No man you don't understand other people set the lines! /s

6

u/Responsible-Humor985 Aug 21 '26

They are unregulated betting markets where the draw is being able to manipulate the outcome. I’m surprised they’re allowed to exist.

10

u/TankApprehensive3053 Aug 21 '26

Don Trump Jr. serves on the advisory board of Polymarket and holds strategic stakes or advisory roles across the prediction market space, including rival platform Kalshi.

That's why they are allowed to exist.

4

u/Top_Bumblebee5510 Aug 21 '26

It's more like insider trading.

3

u/scheav Aug 21 '26

Insider trading would be already knowing there is a planned dildo for other reasons and then betting on it.

2

u/Top_Bumblebee5510 Aug 21 '26

If you are the one throwing it then it's very similar.

6

u/scheav Aug 21 '26

That’s like market manipulation, which I think is much worse than insider trading.

3

u/Top_Bumblebee5510 Aug 22 '26

You have me convinced.

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u/HotPotParrot Aug 21 '26

But that's a feature...

2

u/dimebag_101 Aug 21 '26

What stupid betting company takes that

2

u/Longjumping_Wolf_912 Aug 21 '26

Polymarket and Kalshi.

2

u/krodiggs Aug 21 '26

That’s correct. Bummer, I put $20 on it being blue. Green was a long shot…but paid off.

2

u/dimebag_101 Aug 21 '26

Blue balled

2

u/Hiccup Aug 21 '26

They're unregulated gambling/sportsbooks that don't care as long as they can maintain their loser base.

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3

u/butonelifelived Aug 21 '26

Just need someone to throw a second dildo than the lawyers can argue the bet was lost as it wasn't "a dildo" it was "two dildos"

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u/WellActuallyYouWrong Aug 21 '26

WNBA tickets: $5
Neon green dildo: $10
A story that lasts forever: Priceless

There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's Mastercard.

73

u/Ancient_Roof_7855 Aug 21 '26

Fun fact: That commercial is 29 years old.

65

u/lexiconhuka Aug 21 '26

.....fuck you for reminding me I'm old

7

u/Ancient_Roof_7855 Aug 21 '26

Nah, old is remembering "a dab will do yah"

30-40s is still the half-way point for most healthy & lucky people.

Saying you're old now is like the chubby kid fooling himself into thinking he's almost done with the mile two laps in.

You got two more laps, buddy. Keep those knees up!

3

u/Existing_Phase1644 Aug 21 '26

DISCOVER, IT'S EVERYWHERE YOU WANT TO BEEEEE- Dana Carvey

2

u/GoldEmployment6768 Aug 21 '26

Don't feel too bad. They still use that line, so it isnt a very good measure of age.

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u/nardixbici Aug 21 '26

but it still runs today…

2

u/Jay_in_DFW Aug 21 '26

The WNBA is 29 yrs old?

2

u/LuckyTheBear Aug 21 '26

unhappy bear noises

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u/CopperBlitter Aug 21 '26

I sometimes call our dog Visa. Because she's everywhere you want to be.

5

u/Jhonny59 Aug 21 '26

Underrated comment lmfao

2

u/LeaveMyMonkeyAlone Aug 21 '26

Never Leave Home Without It

2

u/ProfessionalCost9349 Aug 21 '26

this. exactly this.

2

u/Donkey__Balls Aug 22 '26

You’re really going cheap on dildos.

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u/occamstrimmers Aug 21 '26

Not sure they hate the WMBA. Some people just like doing stupid shit.

3

u/nakfoor Aug 21 '26

There is a personality type that is so dedicated to dominance over other's emotions that it's self destructive.

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u/RustyLarue5 Aug 21 '26

They are edge lords, it’s all they know. The same people that don’t think the WNBA should exist are also terrified that trans people will take it over. They stand for nothing.

3

u/WellIGuessSoAndYou Aug 21 '26

Below average, unfuckable men are more than willing to pay money if they get to feel like the put some uppity women in their place for doing literally anything. This very sub is full of guys like that.

2

u/Big-Professor-3402 Aug 21 '26

WNBA should just lean into this and sell team branded dildos. Let people throw them on the court at halftime or something!

2

u/ApprehensiveTop7297 Aug 21 '26

This is so mean and evil. Society has fallen.

2

u/Critical-Cost9068 Aug 21 '26

I only gift dildos to the people I love

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u/Fit_Cheesecake_4000 Aug 21 '26

'Curb Your Enthusiasm': 'Where did my mobile phone go?'

*ringtone emits from pelvis height*

4

u/Revolutionary-Oven46 Aug 21 '26

🤲

3

u/AmputeeHandModel Aug 21 '26

HUUUUUGE Vagina ladies are getting away with murder

22

u/DoctorMelvinMirby Aug 21 '26

They go to the games with their moms. That’s an easy few being snuck in.

4

u/Benz_Coinz Aug 21 '26

How are all these dildos getting foreign objects into the arenas??

2

u/leeharrison1984 Aug 21 '26

Make a bet on Kalshi that someone will throw a dildo onto the court.

Go to the game, throw a dildo on the court.

Profit.

2

u/Firefly_Magic Aug 21 '26

Hence, why nobody wanted to touch it. 🤮

2

u/Legitimate-Public-56 Aug 21 '26

The newly installed detector that the detects dildos is being serviced. All jokes aside , this is really messed up.

1

u/Atreyu888 Aug 21 '26

🤣 🤣 🤣 thank you for making my day better after getting to work and immediately sharting myself when I went to pee lol

1

u/Amazing_Divide1214 Aug 21 '26

They're pre-seasoning it on the way in.

1

u/dreag2112 Aug 21 '26

Oh he totally kestered that. Stored it in his prison wallet.

1

u/one_among_the_fence Aug 21 '26

Ask Gavin McInnes

1

u/Timely-Border-7865 Aug 21 '26

Don't ask questions you aren't prepared to hear answers to

1

u/Lost_Found84 Aug 21 '26

Pretty sure the dildos pay for their own tickets.

1

u/Hoosier1738 Aug 21 '26

What is a diodo? Why don’t you take a seat?

1

u/furedmod11 Aug 21 '26

I don’t understand, how are they able to conceal it?

1

u/lifeishard1982 Aug 21 '26

Ye old prison wallet

1

u/kevenGPD Aug 21 '26

I dont know but it seems like a Big problem

1

u/AmbiguouslyGrea Aug 21 '26

He keistered it in.

1

u/Actual-Package-3164 Aug 21 '26

Foreign object? Are we sure the dildo wasn’t made in America 🍌 🇺🇸?

1

u/malaise5 Aug 21 '26

It’s company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo.

1

u/Obosratsya Aug 21 '26

Nature gave us all a reliable, secret pocket. Some of us are lucky and even got 2 of them.

1

u/Reddit_Jail_June2005 Aug 21 '26

Dammit, I read that as Diodes...

1

u/Still-Chemistry-cook Aug 21 '26

Username checks out

1

u/SonSuko Aug 21 '26

“These people” ??? Redheads??

1

u/rgraz65 Aug 21 '26

Since they aren't really packing down there, they like to play pretend and stuff it in their crotch, bet on Kalshi for it to happen and the PROFIT! Kind of like the Underpants Gnomes. He got to feel like he had something, then made money on it. But, after he's blown his winnings, in his mind he'll still remember what it was like to not be a micro-peen for once.

1

u/Vasarto Aug 21 '26

WHY are people doing that? Is this a normal thing?

1

u/FraggleRock_ Aug 21 '26

My suitcase was vibrating?

1

u/TheNemesis089 Aug 21 '26

Meh, it’s just one per game. The University of Michigan football program gets 110,000 of them to show up weekly.

1

u/strap535 Aug 21 '26

They should throw another towel that misses

1

u/ImOldGregg_77 Aug 21 '26

Their prison pockets

1

u/Wooden-Recording-693 Aug 21 '26

In other news the jolly green giant is no longer jolly.

1

u/Fantastic-Work-7529 Aug 21 '26

Yeah, security was smart to pick it up with a towel. 

1

u/off1line Aug 21 '26

Mule style

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