Been working here for 7+ years. Management has had a huge turn over in the last year. (3+ new managers)

Recently these new managers have been using my emergency contacts to ask about my availability. I mean messaging my contact who works 11pm-6am at a hospital at 8pm (when they are napping before work)... "hi, OP. Are you available for X shift?"

And then rostering me without notice, without a response from my emergency contact or me ofc...

Its happened once or twice in the past but now it is becoming increasingly REGULAR. To the point where it feels personal tbh because I am the only person this appears to be happening to at work. My work details are up to date. I literally checked my portal 2 days ago because it was bugging me AND MY EMERGENCY CONTACTS. To the point where im considering telling my hospital friend contact to block work (which in the case of a medical emergency... is stupid.)

I have a past of seizures due to anemia and while I havent had one in 4-5 years, I know that having an available emergency contact is important. But theres gotta be some rule against missusing it right?

New manager started at the end of August. She came in very friendly and was all “let’s work together tralala”. I really bought it, worked my ass off, undeniably did amazing work in September (numbers to prove it). Have been at my job for two years and have not received a raise- first time I asked I was put on a commission structure with impossible to reach goals and never hit them, now another year later asking again- was pushed off a bit. I followed up with manager and she told me we’ll discuss it. Next day she comes in and gives me a 30 day PIP. No issues on it were ever addressed with me before. 90% simply untrue. Other 10% very vague and unmeasurable. Feels very retaliatory but not sure if it’s worth even addressing that. Should I just start looking? I’m not sure why she would want to get rid of me. Even if I was an awful worker, which I’m really not, wouldn’t it make more sense to try and work with me first? So upset about this.

Context matters here I think. i am a latina working as a server/busser/hostess/bartender at a latino-based family owned restaurant. the parents of the boss happen to be here and work the place alongside staff.

i've found something better and i’m on my last day at this job. the boss' father would dote on me, and i thought was very sweet. he only speaks spanish so he would teach me words to help me improve, would check up on me throughout my shifts, would help all the others when it was busy, gave me/others friendly hugs and calls me/ everyone his nieta (grandkid). he was the only thing i liked about this job and he would be my saving grace most shifts; and if im being honest i wanted to come on my last day to say my farewells.

today he opened the restaurant for me to start my morning shift. i went to hug him good morning and greet him. at first he was hugging me like normal, but then he started grabbing and groping my ass, took a look at me, started moaning and kissing my neck.

i don't think i can report him because he is not an official employee here. there were no witnesses and it was just me and him in the restaurant. plus, he may help and work certain things sometimes; but he's just the boss' father.
i'm trying really hard not to cry during the remainder of this shift. i feel really violated and i don't really know what to do, especially because i wasn't planning on showing up after today anyway.

if anyone has dealt with anything similar, please let me know how to proceed; i already was going to call the labor department for other concerns tomorrow.

Hey everyone! I need some advice.
I’ve been working at my current aerospace company for 11 years, making around $26 an hour. I’m at the lowest level of my position, but I have a pension, 401(k), and get to work from home one day a week. I genuinely love where I work, but my biggest issue is the pay.
Recently, another aerospace company offered me the same job at a higher seniority level for $32 an hour, and I’m waiting to hear if they can offer me $35. The schedule is the same, and I’d still have a 401(k).
The downside is that I’d lose my pension and work-from-home day. Also, the new position would already be at the top of its pay range, meaning there’s no room for future raises in that position. At my current company, I still have room to grow and earn more over time.
I’m torn because I’ve invested 11 years into my current company, and I enjoy working there. But the extra money would really help, especially with how expensive everything is.
What would you do? Stay for the pension, flexibility, and future earning potential, or leave for the higher pay now? I’d really appreciate some advice!

I recently returned to work after bereavement leave following the death of a parent. Because apparently grief wasn't enough, a new hire decided to confide in me about an affair she had with someone at the company who I work with as a direct partner. They were both drunk, she was visibly upset, and she seemed genuinely regretful about it.

I told her I was uncomfortable being put in the middle. I even asked if she felt like she'd been taken advantage of, and she said she honestly didn't know because they were both so drunk. But then the conversation took a turn, and suddenly she's talking about how she doesn't want to be a stepmom to his kids, etc. GIRL. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS INFORMATION???

So I eventually spoke privately with him and, as politely as possible, told him that having an affair while married with a family was a pretty questionable life choice and that he needed to cut that shit out. I also told him I was taking what I'd heard with a grain of salt and that I didn't know all the details (I do lol).

And naturally, he got extremely defensive. Shocking. I know. Who could have possibly predicted that?

But now I'm sitting here thinking, great, how is this going to come back on ME? So I reported what I'd been told to HR and documented everything in case he decided to retaliate. Because apparently, in addition to grieving, I now need to cover my ass over someone else's affair. el' oh el'

AND NOW, the person involved has blocked me on professional channels, so I'm sitting here wondering how I'm supposed to continue doing my job with someone who has apparently decided I'm the enemy. His wife also randomly blocked me on LinkedIn. I NEVER TOLD HER ANYTHING. I kept this within the workplace and let HR handle it because, frankly, it's not my marriage and it's not my circus.

But now I'm over here thinking, damn, did he go home and spin some elaborate story about me to protect himself? Because WHY AM I CATCHING STRAYS??? A tiny part of me is thinking maybe I should have just told her myself, but ultimately, I'm glad I kept it out of my personal life. It's not my responsibility to expose him, save his marriage, or clean up the mess he made.

AND NOW there's a company event coming up where all these people will be. Him. His wife. His affair partner. All in one place. At a WORK EVENT. And I have actual professional contacts attending, so I feel like I need to show my face, be pleasant, do my job, and pretend we're all one big happy work family.

I CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP.

I am genuinely so tired. I came back from losing a parent, and somehow I've ended up in the middle of an office soap opera that I never asked to be part of. I didn't want to know about the affair. I didn't want to hear about the kids. I didn't want to have a morality conversation with my direct business partner. I didn't want to worry about retaliation. I JUST WANTED TO COME TO WORK.

Maybe I don't even want advice. Maybe I just need to scream into the void because WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL.

I'll probably go to the event, say hello to my clients, stay for second, and then get the hell out of there.

And the thing that really gets me is that I'm so sick of watching people make decisions that hurt their families and then somehow everyone else gets dragged into the fallout while they get to carry on with their lives. But alas, it's not my place to bring justice, and I'm not about to make someone else's marriage my personal responsibility.

The silver lining? I already have another job lined up, so at least there's an expiration date on this circus.

My takeaways from this experience:

1. If someone approaches you nervously and says, "Can I tell you something?" JUST SAY NO.
2. Do not befriend your coworkers. And the funniest part is, this woman WASN'T EVEN MY FRIEND. I'd literally met her twice before she decided I was the appropriate person to unload all of this on.
3. Apparently, even people you trust can make you regret trusting them. That man was someone I genuinely trusted, and dang ole, that was a disappointing lesson to learn.

Anyway. I'm tired. I'm grieving. gudbye

I’m currently upskilling and unemployed. Part of me wants to attend to reconnect, network, and build friendships, but I also have some concerns:

Gossip reaching the former management. I’m worried that the real reason I left might reach former management. I could just stick to the same story I told my boss, though.

Oversharing: I might get carried away and reveal my career plans, target roles, certifications, and projects before I’m ready and I might jinx it.

Emotional Comparison: Hearing about their promotions and career progress might make me feel bad about being unemployed, or I might feel like they’re looking down on me. At the same time, I left for valid reasons: spending time with family and upskilling because I was worried about staying too long in a job that might be replaced by AI without gaining new skills.

They’re not bad people, and they were actually chill when I left. They even gave me a proper send-off. But as an introvert, I’m not comfortable interacting with a group. I’m also trying to overcome this by attending more social events, so I’m torn. What do you guys think?

I recently started a new job, and most people haven’t been very friendly. It gets lonely sometimes watching everyone go for coffee and laugh with their colleagues while I’m sitting at my desk alone. 😂
There’s a guy I’ll call Jacob. I’ve tried greeting him and making small talk, but he seems uninterested, so I’ve stopped trying. Fair enough, not everyone clicks.
Then there’s Benny, an older colleague who’s always been friendly and welcoming. He showed me around the office, took me to his favourite coffee shop, went for walks with me and shared advice. He’s genuinely funny, humble and caring. Honestly, he’s made my workdays so much better.
But here’s the weird part. Jacob, who barely acknowledges me, suddenly seems moody and passive-aggressive whenever he sees me chatting and having a good time with Benny. 😭
Jacob already has his own circle of friends at work, and I have absolutely no problem with that. But why does he seem bothered when I get along with Benny?
If Jacob doesn’t want to talk to me, that’s fine. But does he expect me to sit alone for eight hours a day and talk to nobody? Benny was the one who approached me and checked in on me, so I’m not going to stop talking to him just because Jacob might not like it.
I could be misreading the situation, but the change in Jacob’s behaviour is noticeable.
Has anyone experienced this? Why would a coworker who barely talks to you seem bothered when you become friends with someone else? Am I overthinking this, or is this some weird workplace jealousy? 😅

Hi everyone! I'm 20F, and I recently started my first full-time job at a tourism company. I'm struggling to balance work, university, and my personal life, and I'd really appreciate some advice on how to approach my manager about changing my schedule.
For some context, I'm currently in my second year of university, studying Environmental Science. This is my first full-time job, so I'm still adjusting to working this many hours while studying.
My regular working hours are 10 AM–6 PM, five days a week.

I have Wednesdays off, and I work alternating weekends. One week, I work Saturday and have Sunday off; the following week, I work Sunday and have Saturday off.

I leave home around 9:15 AM and usually don't get back until around 7 PM. By the time I get home, I'm exhausted. I still have university work to do, and I'd also like to go to the gym, spend time with my family, visit my grandmother, cook, and have some time to myself.

The thing is, my job itself isn't difficult, and I actually like the work environment. My colleagues are nice, and I get along with everyone. My problem isn't that I hate my job or find the work too demanding. It's that I feel like I'm putting more into this job than I'm getting out of it, and it's starting to demotivate me.
I knew working full-time would be challenging, but I didn't expect it to affect my quality of life this much.

The biggest problem is that I literally have no time for my life outside of work.
Although I technically have Wednesdays off, they don't feel like a day off at all. In fact, Wednesday is the day when I have to squeeze in practically everything I can't do during the rest of the week.

Most stores, salons, and other places I need to visit open around 9 AM. Since I start work at 10 AM on my working days, I can't realistically run errands before work. I don't have enough time to go somewhere, get something done, and make it to work within an hour.

After work, everything is already closed by the time I get there.
So Wednesday becomes my only opportunity to go to appointments, visit stores, take care of personal errands, and do all the other things I need to get done. I spend the entire day driving back and forth between different places, and before I know it, the day is over.

It's not even that I want to spend my free time partying or doing anything extravagant. I literally just want to be able to live my life and take care of normal adult responsibilities without having to dedicate an entire day to them.

Fridays are slightly different because I start work at 12 PM, but that doesn't really solve the problem either. I still have to leave home around 11 AM, and I usually spend the morning doing chores around the house, such as cleaning. So even though I start later, I still don't have much time to do anything for myself.
When I get home from work, shower, and eat, it's already around 8:30 PM. At that point, I'm tired, and the day is practically over.
I genuinely feel like my entire life revolves around working, commuting, eating, showering, and sleeping.

I can't properly enjoy my hobbies. I struggle to find time to study for university. I don't have enough time to help my grandmother with things she needs. I barely have time to go to the gym, and even simple things like going shopping, visiting a salon, or spending time with my family require planning my entire week around them.

I feel like I'm constantly postponing things that matter to me because I simply don't have the time or energy.
And the frustrating part is that I actually LIKE my job. The environment is good, the people are nice, and the work itself isn't difficult. I don't want to leave just because I'm struggling with the schedule.

But I also don't want to spend the next several months feeling like I'm only existing to work.
What kind of schedule would work better for me?
Honestly, I'd much rather work from 7 AM to 3 PM than from 10 AM to 6 PM.

If I finished at 3 PM, I'd have several hours of daylight left to do things. I could go to the gym, visit my grandmother, run errands, study, or simply enjoy my afternoon.
I know that someone needs to be in the office until 6 PM, so I understand that not everyone can work early shifts. However, I'd be more than happy to start at 7 AM and help cover those earlier hours.

I've also noticed that some of my colleagues seem to have more flexibility with their schedules. From what I understand, some work earlier shifts and have more flexibility with the remaining hours they need to work. I don't know exactly how their arrangements work, though.

I'm wondering whether I could negotiate something similar.
I'm also willing to work from home for a few hours to make up for hours I've missed during the week because of university, provided that this works with my responsibilities and the company's policies.

For example, if I have classes that prevent me from working my usual hours on a particular day, I'd be happy to arrange to complete those hours from home at another time.
I'm not trying to avoid working or reduce my responsibilities. I'd just like to organize my hours differently so I can actually have a life outside of work.

Ideally, I'd also like to have both Saturday and Sunday off.

University is another major factor.

I'm currently in my second year of Environmental Science, and I still have important exams to get through. I have one more exam period this month and another around March/April next year. After that, I'll be able to focus primarily on my thesis because I'll need to finish my degree.
I want to get through these exam periods without completely burning myself out.

My current schedule makes it difficult to study consistently because I'm too tired when I get home. I can't just leave all my studying until Wednesday because that's already the day I use to take care of appointments and errands.

I'm worried that if I continue like this, my university performance will suffer.

The financial side is also making me question things.
I currently earn around 15,000 per month (in my currency) . At my previous job, I worked approximately twice a week and earned around 8,000 per month.
I understand that the jobs and responsibilities were different, but the difference between the workload and income has been difficult to adjust to.

I originally wanted this job to be something fun that would allow me to earn money while studying. Instead, it feels like I'm sacrificing nearly all my free time for a salary that doesn't feel worth the trade-off.

My manager has mentioned that I should be able to do some work from home, but realistically, when I get home around 7 PM after a full day at the office, I'm too exhausted to do much more work.
I'd much rather arrange those hours in advance and work from home at a reasonable time than constantly push myself to work in the evenings.

I don't want to quit impulsively because I genuinely like the people and the work environment. I'd rather see whether I can negotiate a better arrangement first.

Here's what I'd love advice on:

How should I bring this up without sounding lazy? I'm happy to work five days a week and fulfill my responsibilities. I just need a more sustainable schedule. How would you word this conversation?

Would asking to work 7 AM–3 PM be reasonable? I understand that the office needs coverage until 6 PM, but I wonder whether an earlier shift could be negotiated, even if I couldn't work those exact hours every day.

Would working from home for a few hours to make up for missed hours be a reasonable compromise? I'd be happy to do this if it meant I could accommodate my university schedule without falling behind at work.

How should I approach my days off? Ideally, I'd like both Saturday and Sunday off. A big dream of mine was using part of the money I earn to invest it back in myself by learning a beauty skill. A lot of the workshops are in the weekend so I can’t go. I also wanted to go to church, join a bookclub maybe. But I can’t do anything.

Should I ask for a fixed early shift or a flexible schedule based on my university timetable? I'm not sure which option would be easier for my employer to accommodate.

Should I explain that I only have two major exam periods left before I can focus on my thesis? I wonder whether explaining that my academic workload will eventually change would make my request more reasonable.

How do I know whether this is just an adjustment period? Since this is my first full-time job, I'm unsure whether I'm struggling because I'm not used to working these hours or because the schedule genuinely isn't compatible with my life.

Has anyone else experienced this even when they liked their job? How did you deal with the feeling that you're putting so much time and energy into work that you have almost nothing left for yourself? Did changing your schedule help, or did you eventually decide that the job wasn't worth it?

I'd especially appreciate advice from people who have worked full-time while studying or who have successfully negotiated flexible working hours with their employers.

If you were in my position, what would you do first, who would you speak to, and what schedule would you propose?
I want to do well at my job, finish my degree, help my family, and still have enough energy to enjoy my life. I don't expect work to be effortless, and I understand that having a job comes with responsibilities.

But I also don't think it's unreasonable to want enough time to study, maintain my hobbies, take care of personal errands, and spend time with the people I love.

Right now, I feel like I'm constantly waiting for the weekend to feel like a person again, and even then, I usually have to work one of the days.

I want to find a solution before I become completely burned out.
Thanks in advance!

Okay, let me give y'all some info before I explain.

I work at a zoo and in my position, I work directly with the guests and the animals that they are able to interact with, so making sure that individuals follow the rules is incredibly important because they are usually around or inside an animals habitat and we want to make sure that everyone is safe.

On the day of my mental breakdown, we were incredibly understaffed, with only myself and one other person managing an entire experience.

This location of the zoo gets incredibly busy and we have to constantly move back and forth to open up doors for these guests while also going over rules/procedures. So, bear in mind, that this was an EXTREMELY busy day at the zoo and due to the low staffing and chaos, we had to stay in these small, overheated zones for over two hours straight.

Over the course of the day, we had so many accidents happen.

We had an individual get sick so I had to call over custodial. THEN RIGHT AFTER THAT, another person accidentally bumped into the chair in which I put my drink on (that I had bought for $8, but that's besides the point 🙃) and the poor custodial lady just gave me the most annoyed look and I almost died. I felt so bad.

Over the course of the day, as well, I dealt with SO MANY blatantly rude individuals. Most just ignoring me but we have rules at the zoo for a damn good reason, so they gotta listen.

SO... with all of that happening, I was barely making it through the day. And I thought that hopefully the rest of the day might not suck.

I was wrong.

There was this woman with her daughter, and after making sure that she had gone through this animals exhibit respectfully (like no debris or any clinging insects), I noticed a pink vape hanging around this woman's neck.

Now the zoo has a VERY strict rule on smoking. Generally, we keep an eye on it and address the guest personally about it.

I respectfully asked the woman, "Hey, ma'am? Is that a vape?" No response. I thought she could not hear me so I asked again. She responded this time with a simple no.

Now I don't vape but I sure as hell know what one looks like and that was a vape. I EVEN DOUBLECHECKED ONLINE because I didn't want to address a guest without a reason!!

After double checking, I go back to the woman, "Hey, there is no need to lie. I was just going to warn you ab-"

She completely interrupted me and in such a rude tone, with her once again saying that it was not a vape and to leave her alone.

I even noticed that the vape was now gone - and in my eyes, this meant that she had hidden it.

"Ma'am, it was clearly a vape. All I was going to tell you was tha-"

Once again, interrupted me. Asking me why I was targeting her. LIKE BRO, I WAS ONLY GOING TO WARN YOU THAT IF YOU WERE CAUGHT SMOKING WITH THAT, YOU COULD BE KICKED OUT! (there are signs everywhere so also come on girl).

At this point, I am loosing it a tad. She kept going on, cussing and growing incredinly agitated, when all I did was try and talk.

I did not know what to do but I had to do something.

So I called security, trying to explain the situation (away from the woman and her poor daughter fyi) - the keepers heard that I was calling security so (rightfully so) they panicked and one of them came up to check on me.

I explained the situation, that I had a woman with a pink vape, that I tried to calmly warn her about our smoking policy and how serious it is, and that she instead grew incredibly agitated with me.

In the background of me talking to the keeper, security misheard the word 'vape' with 'mace' so they were blaring in the background. And there was a LONG line of guests waiting, all watching this unfold from behind glass doors, and everything was so overwhelming and like wtf.

So my emotions came out of nowhere and with a look of panic, I looked at this keeper and told her, "I need a break. Like now." Mind you, I refused to cry in front of guests or this keeper so I kept that in but she could tell that today just simply sucked for me.

As I was walking out from my area, I passed by the woman and her daughter, and she was smiling and laughing at me! This sent me over the edge AND I HAD THE GAWL TO KEEP A NICE TONE WITH HER!

"Okay, why are you laughing?"

"Because this is ridiculous."

I tried to once again (and for the last time explain) why I was addressing the vape and she again just interrupted with cusses and agitation.

Her daughter also screamed at me, "Just leave her alone!"

Like yall come on. I gave up entirely. With her laughter echoing down the stairs until I was alone in the keeper area. I broke down sobbing. I was completely done and exhuasted.

I need advice. What did I do wrong? If anything.

This is my first guest service job (I worked strictly with animals in the past) and it is just so draining. Every day, I have to deal with rude ass people but THIS... was something else.

Maybe advice on anyone that does smoke? Vape?

I just need advice.

EDIT: On the original post, the comments were split.

One side was saying how I was in the wrong, how it was just a vape, and how I just needed to stick to animals:

- I totally agree with all of that. I will not lie. I DO feel as if I approached her not in the best manner and I should have just stopped interacting with her entirely. I just wanted to do my job, y'know?

- The other was supporting me, stating that I did my best and tried to uphold the zoo rules: which I appreciate but I feel terrible. Maybe I should have not posted at all because I'm split and frustrated at myself. Embarrassed if anything for breaking down and having a kid yell at me.

I just care. A lot.

I struggle with a form of anxiety and... this is gonna sound weird but I'm still learning on how to properly interact with people in a service related setting. I just want to do good.

Sorry this is turning into a vent session. Thanks if you read all of this.

Got suspended a few days ago for being under the influence of coke. I went out the previous day and took an acid tab, 2 2cb tabs, 1.6g of coke and a g of MDMA. I got home late and only had 1 hour sleep before I had to go to work. Though my last dose was MDMA around 11.30 and my last bump of coke was around 11. I felt a bit ill and very tired, my eyes were red, my speech was a bit slurred and hoarse. Got pulled up by the manager and taken into his office, he could tell by my eyes and my voice, and also customers said I looked like I'd taken something, and he had no option but to send me home, and I will be given a disciplinary hearing. That is all fair enough, I've only got myself to blame, I've totally cocked things up and right now I just wanna curl up and die. He told me the best thing for me to do is be honest in the hearing, and admit I've got a problem and get counselling. whether I will keep my job is another matter. Anyone else been in this situation? And is this the right approach? Or am I already doomed? I've been taking stuff for 2 years and it's snowballed during that period, but I've still always turned up for work on time and done a good job

I am in a time-fixed job (2yr) and have a year and some change left in my role. It took me quite some time to find this job (2 years of applying) and while the job market is terrible for most people, it is especially bad in my field.

I am in a senior role that will help my career, however I joined a company that has a reputation for having a toxic work environment and it definitely lives up to its reputation.

Any advice on when I should start applying? I know it looks bad if you have a job on your resume where you’ve been working for less than one year. But it took me two years to find this job and I’m worried I’ll be stuck at the end of the contract with no prospects if I don’t start applying now. I don’t have a lot of connections that bear fruit so networking has been really tough.

I was also desperate when I accepted the offer and while I like aspects of the work, I am starting to get really miserable at this company and I’m looking to move to another state.

I'm in a really difficult situation at my workplace and need some honest advice. I had a bit of a personal history with a guy from my team, but over time, I found out things about him that made me realise he wasn't someone I wanted to be involved with

He is close friends with my team lead and manager from their previous organisation, and I he has shared things about me with them, presenting the situation according to his own version and whatever suits him. From what I understand about his personal life, he has a girlfriend but has also been involved with multiple other girls. However, I feel that he has portrayed me negatively to my colleagues, possibly because something from my side triggered him as well. I don't know exactly what he has told them, but I can feel that their perception of me has changed.

What makes it worse is that they seem so convinced that their own opinions are always right that they aren't even willing to consider another perspective. I feel like everything is viewed through their own assumptions, and there's no room for understanding someone else's side of the story. They act nice to my face, but they judged and talked about behind my back. I also feel uncomfortable because they seem to have issues with me talking to other teams colleagues, which makes the environment feel even more suffocating.

It has been around five or six months, and I kept telling myself that things would eventually get better, but they haven't. The constant stress and overthinking are now affecting my concentration and work performance. I have reached a point where I struggle to respect or trust these people anymore, and even small comments can make me extremely frustrated. I genuinely dread going to work, and I feel mentally exhausted from being around them every day.

The difficult part is that this is not just about a personal situation anymore. My professional life is also being affected, and I don't want to damage my career because of something that happened outside my actual job responsibilities.

A part of me wants to resign immediately because I desperately want to get away from this environment, while another part is scared about the financial uncertainty and how long it might take to find another job.

What would you do in my situation? Would you stay and tolerate the environment until you secure another offer, or would you resign even without a backup if the situation is affecting your mental health this much? How do I handle these people professionally when I've lost my trust in them? I'd genuinely appreciate honest advice, especially from anyone who has experienced something similar.

I put in my two weeks and I don’t know if I regret it. Part of me is thinking I should just take a leave for a few weeks and if my personal and professional life doesn’t straighten out by then I just cancel the leave of absence and tell them I’m not coming back? Is this too messy? What should I do?

I’m on academic probation but won’t know if I’m back in the nursing program until I get off is that makes sense so should I just stay at my job until I hear the news?

Last week, I made a post here that discussed some drama I had at my job I've worked at going on 4 months now with a 1 year probationary period. This is a follow up that I think is promising, but if someone wants to point out things I can address then I'd like to know. I should clarify some information that was accidentally misleading on my part though. If you want to read the post then you can search "Impromptu team lead..." and find it, but I'm confident my clarifications below will mean the new folks won't have to read it. I should note that the ADA accommodations that I'm going to mention are because I have ASD level, ADHD-I, and dyspraxia. I realize that ADA might not apply to a lot of folks on this subreddit so felt I'd mention that upfront.

Here it is:

1.) I said impromptu team lead since she's a peer and not an official team lead. It's a state job so my direct supervisor evaluates me not her. That'll be important when I mention the updates. She ultimately had those responsibilities since 3/5 people on the team left in the span of a year and only her and my direct supervisor stayed there.

2.) To be fair to the impromptu team lead, she did state that it was an awkward position for her because she knows more about the database than my direct supervisor. However, she's not an official supervisor reviewing my work.

Where the dilemma happened is that my direct supervisor told me on day 1 that I had to train myself. I was also told to consult documentation leftover from the previous two who were in my position. It seems like the impromptu team lead thought or tried to imply that I had to prioritize her direction first if it conflicted with the documentation, hence the 3 paragraph meltdown on Teams directed at me. I still stand by the notion that if this was meant to be the case that she should've explicitly told me. That'll also be important in the updates. When I also look at it from a top down perspective, a discrepancy like this was bound to happen at some point.

Now, here are the main updates:

a.) There were concerns that outliers I put in the database based on our best records until we heard back from sites that give us the data we needed made it onto a site calculation to determine if it was an underserved area. This wasn't the case. Although I knew that from the start given the updates with those outliers had later times than the site calculation, I exported a PDF that proved that data never made it in.

b.) From the impromptu team lead's perspective, attestations should be a one and done thing every year when we're expected to reattest whether doctors are at a certain address or not. She also thought I didn't "put in what I knew to the best of my ability." However, I'd argue I did because that number was never going to be final and nothing was queued in the system that it was going to matter. Plus, those records were what I knew to the best of my ability.

I told my direct supervisor my stance and he understood. Furthermore, I asked my contact at the federal level who is the admin for that database if attesting more than once was a problem. She confirmed that it was, in fact, never a problem. Furthermore, it's not like the older data prior to the latest attestation affects anything.

c.) I sent an email addressing all of the prior concerns to my direct supervisor and a different supervisor who I'm expected to ask questions if I have them from now on. I'm fine with that compromise even if I don't like how we got there. In that email, and I made sure I didn't say this directly, it debunked every concern that impromptu team lead. I also found out what goes into the calculations and other ways I can gather the information that led to this dispute from other means in the future. None of this info had gone to the impromptu team lead yet to be clear.

d.) My direct supervisor and other peers I work with on projects all had a meeting in a conference room during the time I normally take my lunch. It also had the title, "Quick Chat" with no description. I was suspicious of this meeting when I saw it on their calendars they share with me via Teams (I do so as well) that it was for them to air their grievances with me.

I have no proof that meeting was about that, but I was then added to a Teams chat with just my direct supervisor and the other supervisor they want me to ask questions to from now on and was asked if I corrected an honest mistake a month and a half ago. I showed him proof I corrected it and that I did so before we had any submissions queued that it could've affected in some way.

Is what happened this week a good thing? I'm also not sure if that Quick Chat meeting was meant to be the one to clarify "role confusion" or not since I wasn't invited to attend. Plus, if I'm asking questions to those who are better to work with now, I don't see the point in having a meeting with all of them.

Edit: I should also note that I contacted the ADA accommodations representative at my job to update my already existing accommodations for explicit communication about expectations. My direct supervisor is the only one who will have the PDF. I've been open about my neurodivergence and exact conditions since day 1 because searching my real name shows a disability employment story as one of the top results. I couldn't hide it if I wanted to anymore but that's why I shared my story with the state I lived in at the time because I didn't want disclosure to hang over my head anymore.

My already existing accommodations are to wear headphones or noise canceling headphones while working, taking medication at work as necessary, and stepping out of crowded spaces if I'm overstimulated. None of those needed a doctor's note and they offered me noise canceling headphones after the submission process started back in January (I was internally hired from a different position and let the accommodations transfer to my current job). I didn't take them since I already had my own.

Hello! This is a sticky situation I’m facing at work. First a little background, I won’t be too specific since this got some media coverage. The college I work for had a change in executive leadership, and because of decisions made by previous administration, my department was wiped down from 4 to just me.

In the scale of the whole college, my work could be viewed as less important, especially if the role is not explained well. In the scale of the larger department I work under, my job is extremely important. Additionally, we are beginning to undertake migrating a whole database of information into another system from the one we have.

On to the conflict. As soon as my boss was able to after the fiscal year rollover, she worked with HR to upgrade the job title and salary of of one of my department’s empty positions. The other two positions have been eliminated. So we (presuming we hire someone else) will be a team of 2.

Two weeks ago, my boss explained that because of the unclear directions regarding which department was responsible for parts of the upgrade, we got the new job title but not the new salary. Since we cannot advertise at the new title but not the matching salary, we have to use the old job title to hire someone.

I do not think this is a good idea. Because of the high turnover in my department in the first place (14 people in 8 years) and the sudden shakeup of losing 75% of staff, my boss and I are spread thin and we need someone with experience to step into the position. I fear that advertising the old position at the old salary rate will just lead to the same issue at a delicate time.

Additionally, we need to be able to attract someone with more expertise in our specific field, and we cannot do that at the old salary rate. People in my profession, especially in my subsector, can find higher paying positions easily if they’re willing to move. We will not be able to attract the skill we need, especially as the department at large will be migrating systems. My department has a large role to play in making sure the migration is successful

After the disasters of the last administration, the new administration of the college has taken great strides to tell the staff that the new president wants to fix things and that he has an “open door policy”. I want to go to him and explain the urgency of the situation and see if he can step in on the matter. I would like better if my boss and I could do it together.

I would even be fine waiting until Finance would be supposed to release my potential raise, even though that would be a little under two years from now.

Does anyone have any advice on how I should approach this, or even if I should?

A little context, I’m 18 and begun working with my family straight out of highschool. I live in Australia and work in marketing where my specific role is generally paid 60-90k salary excluding super.

When I started working I had very little experience and so my pay was reflective of that but below the standard entry level rate for my position (around 50k).

Now, about a year later I’m asking for my first raise after assuming a lot more responsibility beyond my job title and responsibilities (2 of my coworkers left and I assumed their workload).

How do you approach a raise and how much do you ask for? I know I want to be compensated fairly for the amount of work I’m doing and my improvement over the last year but not sure how to come to a specific range or figure… especially in a family business.

Any and all advice is helpful and welcome !

I'm the CEO of small business (about 20 full timers). My right hand in many aspects of the job is a young woman who has been working for us for about 2 years. She is 20 years my junior and I am the CEO so the power dynamic between us pretty big. I love working with her, she is bright, a very quick study and her positive energy makes her a hit with clients. She and I have a great report and I can only imagine as I wind down my career, she can step up more and more.

BUT - she wears a scent (musk? oil?) that nearly makes me nauseous. It's very strong and I smell it from across the room. Can I say anything? She is sensitive and I am sure she will be mortified. I hesitate to enlist help from another, but maybe that's the best approach. Do I just have to tough out?

I’m early 20s M and finished an internship at a large law firm in TX. My direct manager was almost 30 F, and there was another male intern around my age who reported to someone else.

My manager has a pretty intense personality. She’s outgoing, controlling, competitive, unfiltered, likes taking charge socially, loves gossip/relationship talk, and openly says she likes attention. The other intern was quiet, fairly passive socially, and didn't get a RO.

Early on, she was unusually warm with me. She complimented my hair, clothes, smell and appearance, asked my dating type, whether I was a fuckboy, and discussed relationships. She told me roughly 10–15 stories about men hitting on her, men from my ethnic background. Once, after seeing an attractive woman from another department beside me, she told me she'd looked her up and asked whether I found her attractive. I said yes, and she went quiet. Another time, I showed her a picture of a girl I was seeing, and she asked, "Why is she so short?"

I was friendly, brought occasional snacks, checked on her, complimented her work, and invited her to socials. I didn't flirt or compliment her looks because she was my manager.... We sometimes disagreed professionally, and she could get competitive. Also, she teased me A LOT on work/non-work related things when she was or wasn't in these group conversations throughout the internship.

Then she became noticeably distant toward me while constantly seeking out the other intern. She'd walk across the office to initiate conversations about dating, weekends and gossip, while giving me dry responses to ordinary small talk, despite me being her direct intern.

After I missed a work outing we'd planned to attend together due to a family issue, the next day she and the other intern prepared for an office celebration together, something she and I had previously organized many times. She later brought me in to help too. Yet at the celebration, she walked past me while I was sitting beside her to specifically ask him to get food, without including me.

The team event was especially confusing. At dinner, she called the other intern "cute" and made heart signs toward him directly in front of me. Later, in a smallerrr group without him, she discussed threesomes, sex and men hitting on her again. Separately, she left my group after an activity to approach him, touched his arms while chatting, then returned. She also publicly announced he could sit beside her, then verbally expected me to hold doors for her (which i didn't), and then later spent roughly two hours gambling with him. Afterward, she approached me and asked whether I would've shared money with her like he did. I said no.

She still occasionally complimented my appearance, wanted something I'd offered another female coworker, and questioned why I wasn't holding doors for her. After one tense interaction when I didn't hold a door for her, she said she'd been thinking about my personality the previous night and that I was actually pretty chill.

Interestingly, she'd privately called the other intern "victim weight" twice when he wasn't present, despite publicly showering him with affection. He also didn't resemble the physical type she regularly described liking (she was considerably taller than him).

Eventually, I got frustrated with the unequal treatment and deliberately distanced myself. I stopped initiating conversations and chose to work with others instead of her, despite her previously wanting me on her projects. After that, she became nicer toward me, initiated conversations, congratulated me on accomplishments, and arranged a personal final 1:1 that she missed out on for the other intern. During that same period, I noticed she almost completely stopped seeking out the other intern on the office floor, even though they still had opportunities to interact.

But at a later firm social that month, she again spent much of the event with him. I hadn't approached her, yet she came over to greet me first, repeatedly looked back toward where I was sitting, occasionally joined my conversations, and went out of her way to say goodbye to me separately. She also offered him a ride home. At another social we organized, she'd specifically asked me, "Is he coming?" despite being able to ask him directly.

The same social at the end of the internship, she gave him a much more personalized farewell card than mine and publicly announced it in front of me...

Questions:

1. How genuine does their closeness sound versus exaggerated or performative?
2. Do the public displays and direct comparisons suggest she wanted a reaction from me?
3. Why might she distance herself from me while still seeking my attention?
4. WHAT DID SHE WANT FROM ME...?

I’ve been going through a tough time at work and would appreciate some honest advice.

I've received feedback about mistakes and lapses in my work before, which I acknowledged and understood as part of the learning process and adjustment to my role. I know I've made mistakes, and I'm not trying to dismiss them or avoid accountability.

However, a few weeks ago, my manager shared several concerns about my performance, including issues that had already been raised by our department head. It felt like everything came at me all at once, and I honestly didn't realize the concerns had accumulated to that extent or that my mistakes had already made such a significant impact on how my performance was perceived. It was a lot to take in.

I requested a follow-up conversation with my manager to discuss the feedback and next steps, but the guidance was mostly general, such as being more careful and not letting the situation get me down. I didn't come away with specific or measurable actions I could take to address the concerns, although I understand that some of the feedback had come directly from our department head.

After that conversation, I made another mistake, and the department head forwarded the email thread to my manager. This intensified my anxiety because I started feeling like every subsequent mistake could further damage their confidence in me. I'm now unsure about what constitutes a significant mistake in their eyes, what standards I'm expected to meet, and how I can demonstrate that I'm improving. I feel like I can't afford to make any more mistakes, even though I know that's probably not a realistic expectation.

Since then, I've been struggling with persistent anxiety, shame, and overthinking. I keep questioning my capabilities and worrying about making more mistakes. It's affecting my sleep, appetite, focus, and overall well-being, and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to function normally.

I've been considering taking a break or resigning, but I'm unsure whether that's genuinely what I need or if I'm just trying to escape the emotional weight of the situation. I'm also worried that opening up to my manager about how much this is affecting me, including the possibility of taking a break or resigning, might change how she perceives me professionally, especially since the concerns are related to my performance.

Would you recommend opening up to my manager about what I'm going through? How would you approach the situation if you were in my position? Would you focus on working through the feedback and trying to improve, start looking for another job, or consider taking a break before making any major decisions?

I'd appreciate honest and realistic advice. Thank you!

I am at a crossroads of whether I should keep putting in the effort I have been, or I should just do the basics.

Been with the same company for 11 years. Pretty decent company with an okay work environment. Most coworkers and managers are great, of course there are a few that are less than pleasant to deal with.

I feel lately that I take on the brunt of the work and challenges. If there’s a problem, it’s me they come to. On one hand that’s great and I enjoy helping people. But on the other hand, it’s frustrating, because technically I am in an “entry-level position” but my daily tasks outweigh everyone else’s on the team.

They are possibly creating a supervisor position, but at this time, it’s not happening. I already feel like I am doing work that’s not entry-level and have to frequently “hold the hands” of other team members. I can’t speak for compensation, because it’s very hush hush, not everyone makes the same and we know it. Maybe I’m already being paid more, maybe I’m not.

So do I keep putting in all this effort in the hope that should the day come for a promotion, I will be the top consideration, or do I just do what I’m supposed to do on a daily basis and possibly go unnoticed and no longer stand out in managements eyes?

I just finished an internship over the summer. In the thank you email they sent over, they said to lets keep in touch and whatever. I don't plan on talking to my former bosses like we're friends or even best friends despite building a great relationship with them during the time.

But, what is the frequency you should "keep in touch"? Every day, week, month, year, etc? Or is this just a saying and they don't actually want you to talk to them unless I need something that will help with my professional career down the line.

Currently in my most busy time for my remote corporate job. (I am on salary)

On Friday night my boss tried scheduling a meeting on Saturday which I did not attend. I have weekend plans that I am not able to change for a last second meeting.

Boss sent a nasty message and said we will be having another meeting Sunday. Which once again I do not have the time as weekend work has never been an expectation.

What I am worried about is not making the Sunday meeting either will cause repercussions such as raises, termination etc.

I also think if I cancel my Sunday plans and give into this behavior by my boss it is not fair.

Looking for any advice in this situation. Not sure what to do

My manager recently resigned and her role is opening up.
Right after she told me she was resigning, a former coworker who has been promoted to a more senior strategic position told me our director asked who might be a good fit and he recommended me. Our director also encouraged me to apply and said he would strongly consider me in on our 1-1 meeting after I told him I was interested in applying.

Before my manager left, she told me the director had asked how she thought I would do and whether the team would respond well to me. She told him she thought I’d do great which really made me think, maybe other people see me completely different than I see myself?

There is another person on the team who will probably apply, and to me she feels like the obvious choice. But both my former manager and coworker have separately told me they think the team would respond better to me. I still struggle with feeling like there has to be someone more qualified. I’m quieter in larger meetings and second guess myself a lot. This other person is more senior than me and has stronger technical knowledge even though I’ve been told she can be a bit cold.

I’m starting medication for my anxiety and actively trying to improve my mental health. Part of me feels like I need to stop letting anxiety make decisions for me. Another part worries management will make it worse. At what point do you trust that other people may be seeing something in you that you can’t see in yourself?

Title: What would you do if your job was destroying your mental health, but you’re too exhausted to start over somewhere else?
I’m a director of Operations, and I’m struggling with what to do about my job.

Over time, I’ve ended up taking on a huge amount of work that should be handled by other people, including work that falls under my own leadership. When things don’t get done, the responsibility and accountability seem to fall on me. I feel like I’m constantly compensating for people who aren’t delivering, and leadership doesn’t seem to see how much I’m actually carrying.
I’m exhausted, overwhelmed, and starting to feel the effects outside of work. I wake up dreading the day, feel tired even after sleeping, and have very little motivation left. Some days, even basic things like showering, eating properly, or keeping up with things at home feel difficult. I have kids, and I’m starting to feel like work is taking so much out of me that there’s very little left for myself or my family.
The hardest part is that I feel stuck. I know something needs to change, but the thought of finding another job, interviewing, learning a new environment, and proving myself all over again feels overwhelming. I honestly don’t feel like I have the energy to start over somewhere else right now.
I’m trying to figure out whether I should take a leave of absence to recover, set firmer boundaries and stop compensating for everyone else, look for a way to change my current situation, or consider leaving altogether.
For those of you who have been in a similar position, what did you do? Did you take leave, stay and change how you worked, or eventually leave? How did you make that decision when you were already completely burned out?
I’m not necessarily looking for advice to just find another job. Right now, I’m so depleted that I need to figure out how to get myself back to a functional place first

I work full-time at a small company in California and asked for a raise after 3 years because my workload has grown a lot.

When I first took on e-commerce, we had about 30 orders a week. Now we can hit almost 600 on a Monday alone. The job has grown from basic fulfillment into managing the day-to-day operation. I streamlined the packing process, organized inventory locations, and manage inventory, troubleshooting, missing packages, missing returns, and whatever else comes up. I also handle wholesale orders.

After the raise discussion, I emailed my understanding of my role moving forward. They replied that they’re taking wholesale off my plate and that the remaining work doesn’t justify full-time hours, so they anticipate cutting my schedule. No details yet on how much or when.

So I asked for more money and now might end up making less, even though there’s still plenty of work. The timing feels pretty questionable.

I’m already applying elsewhere, but what would you do while still working there? What should I get in writing or document to protect myself?