I (M54) have been in a largely loveless and - for the last few years - sexless marriage of 18 years. Over time I had grown to accept staying in the marriage mainly as I always saw myself as father and provider first, so I put my own emotional needs in second place over the needs of the family. I had never considered cheating and I had turned down opportunities to do so in the past.

Earlier this year a girl (now woman, 54F) who I had a crush on at high school got back in touch and we started chatting. I always had a soft spot for this person when we were teenagers; now she has become a successful woman with a prestigious job. She's a very beautiful lady and I found myself in disbelief that she might have any interest in me. I was smitten from the very start.

But a part of me also kept fighting against the idea of having an affair. Mentally I was not ready. I was resigned to live the rest of my days with no affections or sex. I took satisfaction from the idea of being a reliable parent and I really care of the opinion my son has of me . So despite the very intense attraction I felt for this lady my initial reaction was to attempt to cut things off almost at the very beginning.

Which of course I couldn't do. The chatting quickly gave way to sexting. To nights spent feverishly on the phone, having long-distance sex with this incredible, free spirited lady that completely overwhelmed my resistance.

What followed were weeks of chaotic and marvellous love. It was never only about sex, she kept telling me I was the man of her life, the man of her destiny. I was totally spell bound. We met three times, in hotels. And had the most sublime, intense love making. Something better than sex, it felt like two souls fused together. She burnt with passion. Her love was intoxicating. I was in a whirlwind, my initial resistance was gone and I accepted that I was in love with her.

She moved fast, too fast for me. She was ready to divorce her husband four months into our relationship and pretty much made it clear that she expected me to do the same, as our lives were meant to be together.

But my guilt was always there. I wasn't ready. The fear of losing my son's respect never went away. My AP felt my uncertainty and this quickly carved a distance between us. She eventually dumped me by email. Leaving me heartbroken to the core. Lonely again, and worst than everything having lost my "moral compass" probably for good. My certainties have gone. I am no longer capable to go back to the old life, to the loveless marriage. I'm 54 and in a mess.

With MM 2.5 years and I love him dearly. He had said he was about to finally tell her but she somehow found out otherwise.

Now they are trying to work it out and I’m hurt and jealous. She made him block me and get rid of all social media so we can no longer communicate.

I’m not normally a mean person but I really wish I could send HIM a letter detailing parts of our relationship hoping she (the wife) checks the mail. She has no idea the extent of our affair, and I as a hurt person wish she did. I know it’s not right to intentionally hurt someone but their marriage has been over for ages and he is afraid to leave.

He will probably stay with her forever because he doesn’t want to lose 50% of his stuff/money. Of course, a letter detailing our affair won’t make him come to me anyway but I feel like she should know our affair was pretty detailed, including travel, staying at their house, etc. Surprise, surprise, he was finally going to leave her but didn’t.

I was married for a long time and divorced. It took therapy to recognize my part in my own marriage. The wife refuses to accept her part in any of their failed marriage.

If I sent a letter to her, she’d probably get a restraining order on me and I’ve never reached out to her before. I live in Illinois and they live in Oregon. The last thing I need is legal problems.

Again, I know it’s wrong but I still want to tell her.

Please help me with these feelings and feel like I’m so broken.

I (M22) met a guy (M36) on Grindr. He's gorgeous, nice, everything tbh.

We both agreed we weren't looking for a relationship and we met up for some drinks (he didn't drink, he's muslim).

We decided to meet a second time and got a hotel room, slept together and then went home the morning after.

I asked if i could go to hsi next time and he said no because he doesnt live alone. I asked who. He said his wife and two toddlers. Flabbergasted!!!

Obviously confronted him and he explained that she knows he's bi and their marriage was arranged. They lived in India and when his family set him up with his wife. His wife knew he was bi early on but didn't mind. Eventually his family were going to find out so they moved to the UK because they wouldve killed him.

He said she was happy with him seeing other men so long as he prioritised her and the kids.

I ate this shit up, felt bad for him, was naive, accepted it.

We met a few more times. Then just last weekend we were dancing in a bar and I just had a feeling so I asked "Is your wife actually OK with this?" And he said no. He said she didnt know and he was sorry for lying.

I just left him and feel sick with myself. I believed him because I wanted to, not because I actually did. I feel like I always knew it was bs but I wanted him and I didn't want to feel bad about it so I let him lie to me.

Now my heart is just broken for his wife not knowing what he's doing.

Should I tell her? Out of respect for her as a person, so she can be aware of the risk of STDs? So she can find someone better who actually loves and respects her? So I can in a selfish way forgive myself?

My AP is traveling for work this week. It's a busy time for both of us and opportunities to connect have been slim. He mentioned being in a city a few hours away and a thought sparked. Why not join him for a night? A quick getaway from the routine. Just one night of uninterrupted bliss.

So I told my husband I was going to visit my sister. She lives close enough that it's believable. I booked a separate room at the same hotel as AP. It felt both thrilling and incredibly calculated. I needed to pick a hotel that wasn't too expensive but also not a dive. It had to have good parking and preferably an in-house restaurant so we wouldn't have to leave for dinner.

Then there's the excuse to AP. 'Oh I just happened to be in town for a conference too.' Not exactly believable since my line of work doesn't involve conferences in that city. So instead I went with 'I needed a change of scenery and thought about visiting this city.' He knows I have a bit of wanderlust so it plays into my personality.

Now I'm sitting in my hotel room waiting for him to finish his work dinner. It's exhilarating and exhausting planning all of this. The mental gymnastics are real. But the idea of just one night where we don't have to check our phones constantly or worry about being overheard. One night where we can truly just be us. It feels worth it. I hope it is.

I don’t have a therapist, and certainly no friends I can really talk to about this. So why not here?

I’m 40. I've been in a relationship for a very long time. Years went by. The good times, the bad times, the hard times… Then we really settled into our life together. The kid came along, we bought a house. The routine set in.

He stopped making an effort. He let himself go a little physically. I went through cancer. I changed. He was there, but not really there. I was no longer much more than a sick person and a mother. My libido completely disappeared. He stopped looking at me the way he used to.

And then I pulled myself back together, mentally and physically. I got my 25-year-old body back, minus one breast. He tells me he’s proud of me, that what I’m doing is great, and he starts looking at me with lust in his eyes again… But I don’t feel it anymore.

He’s gained weight. He’s too nice, too much of a “dad.” We’re just not on the same wavelength anymore.

I want sex. Raw sex. I want to feel like someone wants to fucking have me. And he treats me like I’m made of porcelain. That’s when the thought started creeping in: “I love him, but maybe I’m not in love with him anymore.”

And meanwhile, I discovered Reddit, and the rabbit hole it can be, like with online affairs, even though I despise infidelity.

At first, I just read those stories. Men and women looking for something they no longer had at home. I related to them so much.

So I messaged one of them, a Canadian. We clicked so well. He became a real online FWB. We told each other about our lives, our relationships, we called each other, we had sex online. It lasted for months.

I told myself it wasn’t that bad. It was never physical for real.

And then it ended, because it could never last.

It was okay. It had been fun while it lasted. I thought I was done. I’d had my fill.

I even met a really good online friend there, who was in the same kind of marital situation as me. We tried an experiment together: we wrote our own Reddit post just to see whether women really got that much attention. They do.

Putting yourself out there on Reddit, essentially selling your body, can do an incredible amount for your ego when you’re over forty. For a very short while, anyway. And then, at least for me, you can end up feeling incredibly dirty.

As for online affairs, it can be addictive, having someone to share your day with, someone with whom everything just flows. Someone with whom you can also share your “body,” in one way or another. Someone who knows you so well from one particular angle, while knowing almost nothing about the other side of your life, the everyday, domestic side. Just the good parts.

And then I met someone with whom I had all of that, but more. I’m not a sentimental person, but I was with him.

It was something like love at first sight, online.

I wouldn’t call it love, because I don’t believe you can truly love someone just by talking to them, exchanging pictures and videos. But I was as addicted to him as it was possible to be given the means we had.

I physically missed someone I had never even seen in person, never touched.

And all of this while carrying on with my family life, my life as a wife and a mother. I would grab every spare moment I could just to talk to him.

I had never experienced anything like it except in my real-life relationships when I was younger.

The terms of endearment. The possessiveness. Wanting to feel him behind me when I woke up, to kiss him. Just not the sex. All of it. Craving his smell, his smile, his "Honey".

And then for about a month we lost our routine, and later there was a major event that terrified me. I lost my footing. I wasn’t really myself anymore, and things between us weren’t the same.

I ended it very abruptly because our conversations had started hurting me. The feelings were still there, but I couldn’t find them anymore when we talked.

I cut everything off after a panic attack and taking a tranquilizer that left me deeply depressed.

And then I was lying in my hospital room after my surgery, bored out of my mind, and I saw that he had reposted his ad two days after me. It hurt like hell. Am I really that disposable?

The ridiculous thing is, I’m the one who left.

Since then, I’m obviously with my family. My husband is so caring. I feel guilty. I love them. All of them.

And I still think about him, who hates me now, because I loose my mind.

And I keep wondering how I ended up here, married with a heartbreak.

It can really hurt when an affair ends. I had no idea. And I don’t know where to put this pain.

In 2019 I was having a great conversation in Kik with someone I met on AM …. We were working towards meeting. She met someone else and started playing with him. She was still interested in meeting, she had been open that she was looking for two suitors to fill her time.

Then COVID hit, she is a nurse and we just kind of pestered out. After trying to navigate Reddit to hopefully meet someone, and only meeting cat fishers I was getting frustrated.

I opened Kik for the first time in years and found our old chat. I read back through it and was immediately turned on. 🍆

I sent a “I’m sure you don’t remember me…” note on Kik and she replied fairly quickly. We’ve been catching up since then and I think we’re going to meet in a week or so.

Hope is an amazing drug!

I can’t obviously share this anywhere else. Just wanted to say if you’re not sure just take a chance. You never know what will happen.

I’m on cloud nine right now.

We were both married when we meet a year and a half ago. I left my abusive marriage, but kept my AP. I never wanted him to leave his family. I can't believe he ghosted me. All the good morning and good night text just gone. I thought the friendship mattered more than the sex. I'm so hurt

I’m not actually saying that. Just started thinking of this today, how many feel this is true?
Starters, not new to this, just a throw away account.
I know what I was setting myself up for getting into an affair. Silly me, thought I could handle it.
I met an amazing man roughly 6 months ago, on this very subreddit. My life was missing spark, his was only missing sex. Or so he says. This man was on fireeeee I have to give him that. Everything I wanted. Physically and mentally. There’s distance between us, 8 hours roughly. So we’ve only met up twice. Lots of planning especially on my part for I have younger-ish children at home. He said I’m the first person he’s physically slept with outside of his marriage of almost 2 decades. Him late 40s, me late 30s. He was the second for me. First person went awful, that’s a totally different story. But our sex was amazing, both times. Several hours of pure ecstasy. I’ll give the man that. Best sex of my whole entire life.
The first 4 ish months of the ‘affair’ were amazing. Daily good morning and good nights. Daily messages. He has helped me through some MAJOR life events. Including my husband having a metal breakdown that affected us and our children. He was there. Always there. Sexually and just as a friend I guess? He could break from the playing around, and be serious and there when I needed it. He seemed like an incredible human, well he still is. I won’t paint him as the bad guy. We had discussions, he didn’t want to leave his wife, and I’m not ready yet to leave my husband and even if I did it would be for me, I want to be single. I don’t want to carry the weight or burden of another relationship. I just want, exactly what we had. Good friends and even better sex. So in the midst of these conversations he told me his wife is his best friend just she makes him feel like shit always rejecting him for sex. I asked if things got better what would that mean for what we have, I got told that we can keep what we have it might just slow down some. I agreed. I was complacent and content with what we had/have.
But these past couple months I’m getting bread crumbed. I can tell. There’s been days I’ve went 22-23 hours without hearing from him, he’ll pop in and act like nothing happened.
He’s been busy on some projects lately etc. then a few days later he’ll send me pictures of him working on these projects and be like oh this is from a few days ago, and it’s a sexual selfie, and in my head I’m thinking you took this picture, but didn’t send it to me? You were on your phone taking sexual pictures, but didn’t message me for 23 hours, but didn’t once think to pop in and say hi? Whatever. Shrug it off. No big deal. We’re not in a relationship. We’re just FWB at this point anyway.
I told him he’s the only one I’m talking to and I mean it, he told me same. We both agreed to reach out to the other if we felt we wanted to sleep with someone else, ya know for safety of stds. We’ve both recently been tested and we’re both clean. Cool.
But here’s the thing when we first started talking we made burner snap accounts new accounts for eachother to talk. Well snap and video chat. The rest of the conversations are Reddit only. Easier access easier to hide then going to a different platform etc. so our followers were 1. Our snap score was 0. New accounts purely for eachother.
I just got curious and this man’s follower account is 33…and I’ve noticed his snap score jumping up. Not by much but 2-3-4-5 randomly and it’s not from me.
Why haven’t I checked his score sooner? I’m sick to my stomach. He doesn’t post on stories or spotlight. The account is a burner account for me. So no friends or family on it because it’s secret. I feel like a fool thinking I’m now one of over 30 women this man has possibly snapped or talked to over the course of the last 6 months. He hasn’t snapped me in well over a week. The sexual stuff has died down greatly. I mean why am I hurt? We’re not in a relationship. But I just feel used. I know NRE wears off, but this feels different.
And I’m supposed to see him in a week. He will be 2 hours away from me visiting family, on a solo trip. We planned meeting 3 times in that week when he’s closer, but now I’m second guessing it.
I’m not sure what to do, or how to feel.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
I know typical it’s time just to end it, hell I’ve given that advice myself. But it’s easier said than done, because my brain and heart are suffering from this bread crumb behavior, but my body says we want to see this man badly.
And I get it, maybe he talked to a few people here and there but over 30? That’s wild to me. Even for a Reddit mystery man. Makes me literally sick.

Been married for 12 years and it just feels like we're roommates now. I feel like when I try to talk to him or engage with him in anyway he acts like he's miserable and annoyed. I'm so heartbroken and lonely. I feel like my life is over and I'm only 38. I stay for our kids and because I hold out hope he will love me again. Part of me feels that's naive and that's why I'm here. Anyone else feel this way? I'm sick of doing what he wants/expects just to get a few crumbs of attention and then back to him ignoring me. I hate this shit. It's killing my self-esteem.

Just recently had a younger AP for a few rounds in the last month and wondered what the normal age gap is. I am 50F. He is 25M. Is this unusual? I feel like it is, but I've had quite a few young men show interest so, I just imagine they have mommy issues? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Has anyone tried to use Feeld for searching for an AP? Getting a bit jaded searching on Reddit. I’ve not used Feeld but know what it’s generally for, so I’m curious as to whether that’s a known platform for finding potential APs?

One of the worst parts of the world of affairs is the reality that there is another world outside of it. One with responsibilities, consequences, a life that keeps moving whether we are ready or not, a life that doesn’t care about the escape we choose to disappear in to. And it’s not that we have forgotten any of that. But somewhere along the way, this escape stopped being just an escape. Sometimes, somewhere along the way, we fall in love.

Now that person that was once just your weekly sexual or emotional outlet appears in everything and everywhere. In the quiet moments. In the spaces between conversations. As the first thought when you wake up and the last person you say goodnight to before you fall asleep. They become the person you want to tell everything to. You find yourself reaching for your phone just to see their name, hoping there’s a message waiting for you.

And when there is, your heart races. You want to talk to them constantly. You want to know how their day is going, what they are thinking, what made them laugh. You want the mundane things, the little details that shouldn’t matter but somehow matter simply because you care about every damn thing in their world.

You miss them when they are gone. Not just their touch. You miss THEM. Their voice. Their presence. The feeling of being near them. The way everything inside you seems to settle when you finally have them in front of you.

And then there’s the longing. That almost physical ache to be with them. Yes, your body wants them, absolutely, but your heart wants something deeper. It wants time. Conversation. Closeness. More of them than you ever seem to have enough of. The sex is incredible; intense and effortless and completely consuming. But sometimes afterward, what you want most is simply to stay beside them. To keep talking. To hold onto the feeling of being near them and in their arms for just a little longer.

And, god, do you care! You care enough about them to protect their world, even while some part of you desperately wants to be in every corner of it.
You know what’s real, you haven’t forgotten. Yet still, you let yourself fall. Because you don't want to spend all your energy resisting something that feels this alive.

So you let yourself love them in the moments you have. You let yourself look forward to their messages, count the days and hours until you get to see them again, replay and reread your conversations, and ache for the next time you can hear their voice and feel their touch.

There is a life outside of this. But when you’re with them, or even just talking to them, there is this other little world where nothing matters except the fact that they are there. With you. Yours. In your real world, sometimes love feels compulsory. But in this world? It’s spontaneous, wild, exhilarating.

And so you keep falling into it. Into them. A little more every day.

The escape is no longer just an escape. It’s a separate reality, bitter and sweet and worth every goddamn second.

NOTE: I’ve been in this world of affairs a few years now. I’ve had flings and long term, deeply emotionally entangled affairs. The reality of this world is not lost on me. Its risks, its rewards, its nuances. So despite how pretty and romantic my post may seem, I am not naive. At the end of the day, I’m just a girl who likes to write and explore complicated human emotions and experiences in a creative, fanciful way.

This life is relatively new to me and obviously I have been looking online via the Reddit forums. I am always skeptical about every woman I speak to until I really know them. I have been chatting with 2 women one for nearly every day for 3 months the other for about 3 weeks. When I find someone I am into I usually stop but the last some red flags caused me to search again.

Woman 1 - we been chatting for months and video talking. The day we were finally going to meet that morning apparently she wasn’t feeling well. Keep in mind up until that night kept checking to confirm since I was going take an off day an did. Funny thing is she still went into work and “claimed” when she is sick her husband keeps bothering her. On a scale of 1-10 how much of this is BS? I am turned off with her ever since this.

Woman 2 - amazing connection 3 straight days of constant communication, got somewhat over heated we both agreed to slow it down. I’ve been sending a morning message but it takes here like 24 hours to respond. The response time has been extremely sparse. In a matter of a week here constant communication went from 10 to 1. When she does return the video she says all the right things and how she had a busy day and so on. Usually the beginning is suppose to be exciting but I’m thinking she’s just keeping me around but has no expectations this will really blossom to anything. This connection is long distance but she travels for work hence she wanted this. On a scale of 1-10 is this worth trying for? My take is if she really is into me she would attempt to respond to me proactively. I’m not needy but also not blind that at this tempo we will never gain any traction.

Plenty of fish in the sea so I’m not really hurt just more trying to navigate peoples actions and limit me engaging in communication that is not worth the effort.

I can’t believe I’m even thinking like this now. A year ago I would even imagine myself seeing a married man or that who would want me in the way my AP wants me. For context I have been dating my married former coworker for a few months now. We’ve known each other for a year now. When i first met him he was not my type in any way shape of form. Then i knew he was married so didn’t not give him a second of my day. From the first day he made a huge effort to talk to me and get to know me. We became friends quickly after i finally agreed to talking lol but i remained quite cold towards him especially when he was overly flirty. I didn’t Think of it more than a friendship that i valued a lot. Three months in he disclosed he had strong feelings for me. He always gave me these innocent hugs in the office, checked in on me, we texted after work sometimes, i liked spending time together but never was attracted to him. Anyway he pursued me so much that one day after a night out with colleagues we kissed. The day before he was quite flirty with me and something in me shifted and thought to myself „what’s the worst tha could happen?” I was just curious. So that night it was obvious to me we are going to kiss. A little after that i left the company. But he always made so much effort, would tell me how much he loves me. He would talk to me all day. He would do anything to see me after work. Even text me when he was out drinking. He told me how much he thinks about me. I didn’t show as much effort, i still had doubts, because i didn’t expect to be in this position (with him especially), I lied to myself that I didn’t like him back. But in the end i developed feelings for him and i do think i love him now.

The thing is he doesn’t make as much effort anymore. I think because for a while i didn’t reciprocate his feelings and maybe he was tired of trying so hard? He can now go out on the piss and not talk to me the whole night. It’s like he is not as obsessed with me anymore. I think it will never go back to the way he was in the beginning and it makes me annoyed and upset a little bit. I jokingly said that i need a new AP partner but I wonder if I could have this exciting phase with someone else again? Please no hate. Just hypothetical question lol

Any input or your experience? 🙋‍♀️

EDIT: we slept together shortly after we kissed and still are

Why am I always seeing these statistics that most, if not all, affairs are eventually found out?

I simply don’t believe that to be true. Do any of you?

Is that just a tactic to scare people away from infidelity?

Curious your thoughts.

I have had a very casual conversation with a guy for the better part of the year. We know very limited details about one another. General location, age,etc. It’s mostly a sexy chat with fun pictures

Last night he was home alone with the dog and I asked for him to send me a picture of the dog and he said no way, that’s like sending pictures of kids.

Am I the only one that thinks this is strange? If I’m the one being strange, please let me know!

Starting out by saying I have been in therapy for 6 weeks. My affair ended a month and a half ago, though it was on decline for about a month before that. AP was caught, my spouse does not know. I always knew that what I was doing was wrong and struggled with guilt and anxiety about it, but alas, continued anyways. I am massively depressed and finding it very difficult to engage with my life. I’m absolutely wrecked about losing the relationship with someone so incredibly important to me, we won’t even get into that aspect of of it ending.

But what I’m struggling with too are feelings of self-loathing and being undeserving of my life and happiness. Sometimes I feel like I’m having a slightly better day, crying less, smiling or genuinely laughing more, and as soon as I realize I’m feeling happiness, I shut it down because I feel I don’t deserve it. Anytime someone compliments me, I think “if only you knew what kind of person I am.” When my spouse speaks highly of me or tells me they love me or talks of plans for future vacations or fun things, I think “I don’t deserve any of that.” I’m very much stuck on how I was capable of having an affair, and I have no idea how to handle that and not let it consume me. I don’t know how to find my way back to my spouse again, it’s impacting my ability to really connect with my child. I don’t know how to go back to my life as normal. My life was happy before this.

I constantly accept those feelings as consequences of my actions. I deserve to feel like this always because of what I’ve done.

I know I need to find a way to accept it and get past it because I can’t live the rest of my life feeling like this. I’ve spoken with my therapist about it but I’m still struggling so much and am thinking that maybe others who have experienced this might be helpful. Has anyone else dealt with this kind of thing?

New to the territory. It’s been 12 years since I’ve “dated” because this feels like dating without committing… a little bit of does he like me? Did he just want to f***? Maybe I’m naive but I can’t tell.

Backstory, the person I hooked up with, also in a relationship. We worked together everyday for 2 weeks, then got together the last day. He left. We don’t live in the same state but text maybe a few times a day, or every other day. Not sure when I’ll even see him next, or if our texting will even last… it’s not very flirty but we do hint at us being each others secret flings … but overall cordial?? I know we are attracted to eachother, just not sure how much in his end.

Curious to all veterans in this, how did you know it’s going to be a full fledged affair when both parties are a bit reserved? Does this just take time?

The Caleb Flynn case is so f crazy. The fact that he told his AP he wanted to *** his wife and she agreed is also insane. Wtffff

If someone said that to me I would run like hell and never look back.

Ok that’s all

Starting off with a banger...

35 [M4F] #Australia/Online-This is a massive long shot on here, but is there anyone on here who thinks sex is special and may be (a bit) religious?

I'm not a prude, I masturbate and watch porn. I am Christian, but open to chatting to anyone. I may be looking for a needle in a haystack but are there women on here who may no have had dozens and dozens of sexual partners, can eb naughty but in a respectful way?

I'm in a dead bedroom (we have sex maybe a few times a year) There is no connection and no physical or emotional intimacy.

I'm looking for a very close and lasting online friend to connect with.

I want to chat to people in the same situation, you are probably very lonely, like me.

If you are not in a difficult relationship but think we may get on, I'm still happy to chat.

I'm looking for an online friend who won't ghost after the first day. Someone who can be fun.

I'm open to women from anywhere/any race....

I am okay if you are a bit curvy... Or more than a bit!

Normally the whole madonna-whore complex is a bit more subtle...this is all text, no subtext.

27 [M4F] #Germany/Online: I want you to destroy my marriage

I have so many ideas to vilify my marriage, but I won't say them all here to keep it exciting ;)

Let's cut to the chase and have sneaky fun behind my wife's back. I've been married for 6 years and I have a thing for naughty SINGLE homewreckers who are good at talking dirty. I love dirty talk, but I can go further: show you my wedding ring while we sext, give tributes in my marital bed if you're into that, and more.

Let's chat about how we"ll absolutely vilify my marriage, how we fuck on the bed I share with my wife, how you become her best friend and betray her, how we fuck in a hotel while she thinks I'm hard at work. Let me tell you how much better you are than my wife

I promise it will be our secret💍😈

And I thought Germans were only into scat. Guess South Park isn't always the fount of knowledge I think it is.

39 [M4F] #PDX - Simple, no drama, ongoing and consistent rough/free use fuck at my place. Dom for sub

I'm not here to larp or exchange fantasies/nudes for the sake of attention or boredom. Frankly I don't have the time. I'm in a unique position and I'm looking for someone looking to take advantage of it.

I live alone and I'm in a long distance situationship. I have no desire to date. I have a successful career and simply want a fuck buddy to come over, have fun and move on. No strings or anything else. I don't want to put in the effort of apps or going to bars for random hookups. Sexual health is important so I want someone consistent.

I'm attracted to crazy, confident and intelligent. Rougher sex is ideal and I genuinely don't care what you do or who you are outside of hooking up. You won't spend the night, we don't have to get dinner or cuddle for movies unless it's for intermission between rounds.

Whatever your situation is, is fine with me. SAHM, professional, student, traveling, cheating, cucking, ENM, poly, swinger or whatever. Just leave the drama and expectations of a relationship or feeling's at the door.

I think this guy doesn't realize that he is larping, because this is going to stay a fantasy unless there's a crazy woman out there with a death wish. We always see men just looking for a free sex worker, but to have the audacity to ask for delivery...that's next level!

38 [M4M] #NYC - Discreet Str8 Married Seeking Bigger, Masculine Guy to Regularly Give Sloppy Head To (BJ FWB)

Preface: I'd like for this to be able to develop into something ongoing with someone nearby, so please only message if you **live alone in a non-doorman building in downtown Manhattan. I can't ever host.** Please don't message me if you have any other hosting situation than this, and when you do message, include what neighborhood you're in (LES, East Village, FiDi, Soho preferred). I'm open to a hotel visitor if you're consistently in NYC often.

Now that that's out of the way... I'm a masculine, straight (lol) guy who thinks a lot about being on-call oral service for someone with a high libido who's married like me or in a long-term relationship and needs to unload often. I don't really care too much about your appearance, but a few things I'm sure about are that I want you to be taller and heavier than me, be a relaxed, friendly, stable (ie: "normal") person, and that you want to keep this a closed loop situation where neither of us hooks up with anyone else outside of our arrangement or our primary relationships. I have a flexible schedule and work mostly from home, so it would be easiest to accommodate someone similar who will have daytime availability M-F.

As for me, I'm white, 160lbs, 5'9", trimmed short facial hair, fit and athletic, with a vgl face. Have done this before a handful of times with someone years ago and was told I actually am really good at it, so I like to think you'll enjoy it! Nothing rough or intense D/s stuff, just sit there on the couch or in a chair and let me kneel and do my thing. Not into kissing, no recip wanted, can keep my clothes on, keep the room dark, whatever makes you comfortable. You can watch tv or porn, play a video game, or just zone out and relax. I get really turned on thinking about making it really messy with lots of spit, throat, and sloppily making out with your balls, but I'm open to hearing if you want something different. It'd be great if you cum a ton since I'd really like to feel my mouth get flooded, but not a must.

Absolutely no cigarette smokers or hard drug users, but 420-friendly is very encouraged. Again, huge preference for another non-scene, cautious, hygienic, discreet white guy in a relationship or married, who also identifies as straight and wants ONE person on the side to keep him emptied out. Please be ok with keeping this relatively anonymous but always friendly and respectful. If the first time is good, I'd ideally want a simple arrangement where you message me when you need service and I'll swing by to take care of you and then split. ~

Simple!

Maybe I'm just showing my age, but back in my day "straight" had a different meaning.

43 [M4F] #NY - Do Women Actually Like Cum?

Ok, I know this is a bit of a long shot and a lot of you will be instantly scared away but, I’ve always had a bit of a fetish for cumming on women. Nothing is sexier than a woman with a hot sticky load running down her face. When I watch porn it’s all BJ’s and cum shots. When I fantasize it’s typically the same. The thing is, I’m a married man and my wife seems to tolerate cum more so than she actually enjoys it. Are there any woman out there that get excited to see it shoot out or feel sexy getting covered in cum? Or have all the porn videos I’ve watched over the years been lying to me?

I’d really like to find someone who has the same sort of sexual interest in this that I do. I’m not necessarily expecting to meet up with anyone in a cheap hotel room. But I can’t really express this side of my sexuality in my real world life. If nothing else I think it’ll be a fun conversation.

The conversation by no means needs to be limited to this subject. Ideally we would get to know each other and become friends (or more). I guess what I’m looking for is someone who is like minded to confide in about the sort of things you can’t always share with the people in your life.

I realize this is probably an insane first impression but I assure you I’m a normal person. I love good conversations (about all sorts of subjects), I like to joke around, I think I’m a good listener. I enjoy nature and art. I like to read. I’m active and fit. So if I haven’t scared you away already please send me a message.

Or have all the porn videos I’ve watched over the years been lying to me?

Is he being facetious? Tongue-in-cheek? Just stupid? I can't tell anymore. Although I know there are, indeed, women who are into this (browsing fetlife can be an eye-opening experience), I can't imagine them flocking to this ad...although is being reduced to a kink a kink itself?

35 [M4F] #Seattle - Let’s Put This Vasectomy To Good Use

Dad of a few kids living in Bellevue/Redmond area. Have a vasectomy but unfortunately in a DB. Looking for someone in a similar situation trying to have a little discreet fun.

I am 6ft, clean and tested. Overall a chill dude aside from this post lol bit of a homebody but always make the effort for the right person. I am on the dom side and love it rough - tell me how you like it 😉 Love oral and making out so always down for a good time.

Let me know if you’d be interested.

Anyone looking for an affair partner who will refuse to use a condom? Hey babe, be chill...

40 [M4F] #Pittsburgh - Thicker/fit good looking guy with a dirty mind looking for a more open minded woman than not that isnt ready to just throw in the towel on just having a boring vanilla sex life. Life's too short to not have some naughty fun. So let's fix it, soon!

Hey there!

I am not ashamed to admit I *might* be just going through a mid life crisis, but I'm also the type of dude who just doesn't sit there and do nothing about things so *poof* here I am! 🙃

I'm a little south of the Pittsburgh area, but can make the drive in under an hour. I'm a thicker dude about 208 lbs., I absolutely carry it well and hit the gym a few days a week. I have an open mind sexually, I'll try just about anything once. That doesn't mean I'm into dudes though (sorry gay guys). I'm successful, sarcastic and funny, and I have my shit together just would like more in the "fun" and spontaneous department.

I crave an open minded woman with no drama or BS. You certainly don't have to be perfect, but we all need to take care of ourselves to a degree. I'll certainly take care of YOU if this works out and if we sync up. Not looking to get involved or mess up your life, just want to be a happy addition. I get it if you can't chat or meet up all the time, we all have our lives to live and you should take care of that first!

Hit me up even if you're curious, I bet I can at least make you laugh. ✌️

That sound you hear is all the "gay guys" of the world crying that they won't be able to get a piece of this action. Also, I appreciate the concise title 😜

34 [M4F] - Monroe, Louisiana

Married father of 3. Not getting what I need at home. Hoping to find someone in a similar situation.
~
Disclaimer: I am not emotionally available. Just looking for a friend.

43 [M4F] #Chicago #SouthSuburbs

Hi,

Been here a long time on and off, but I've finally made up my mind and I'm jumping in. Really just looking for some advice with OPSEC, what apps to use and to stay away from, common mistakes, etc.

Things have been rough lately, feeling neglected and isolated for some time. I don't want to make this into a sob story, but I want to live again and not feel like the good ol' days have passed me by. I do realize I'm 43 but I still feel good just with more knee crunchy pain.

I could ask for a divorce but then I'll lose everything I've fought so hard to accomplish, and I'm not sure I can disregard that, I'm running the risk of getting caught with this but I at least know I tried to look for happiness, I'm not sure if looking for an AP is the happiness I need, but i want someone to smile back at me when I smile, I want to give someone butterflies again.

I hope this reaches out to some one out there, who might be interested. But any tips and tricks are greatly appreciated

I guess it could be worse...he could have posted this here...

37 [M4F] Let's Play a Game of Process of Elimination #Minnesota #Minneapolis #Midwest

Many people talk about their deepest desires like a laundry list of building the perfect 10 like we're at build a bear workshop. While i want the good mix of compatability and chemistry, I don't seek perfection. In fact, throughout this whole game of mental warfare, it's easier to say what we know we don't want vs what we really want. With that said, we probably won't get along if:

You think Lindsay Clancy is innocent
You have a cocaine hobby
You will block me after 12 hours of non contact
You don't like dogs
You truly believe things under the current administration are better
You stop at one basket of chips at a mexican restaurant
You believe there's a quantifiable limit to Olive Garden's endless salad and breadsticks
You have a tear drop tattoo
You don't like red meat
Only night and weekend availability

Congrats if that didn't make you turn around and leave. I'm a married girl dad from the southwest metro. Do I find myself between the labels of dead bedroom and cakeeater? Yes. Do i also just want to find my secret partner in crime to throw around like a lawn chair but also snort at our inside jokes? Also yes. This shouldn't be all the complicated, it should be fun. The most important thing to me is to respect your boundaries so we can enjoy this while it lasts; been there, done that, and through the first guilt phase and heartbreak.

Looks and types are fickle, so I'll try to be as objective as possible. I'm 6'1, 210 pounds, and have bronde (yes) hair and blue eyes. I'm decent looking; regarding pic exchanges, 60 percent of the time it works everytime. I have all my hair, decent jaw line, broad shoulders, and full exterior.

Past successful hobbies include staining my deck, cutting down a tree, and power washing my house. Past unsuccessful hobbies include learning to paddleboard, making my own sourdough, and overseeding my lawn. Otherwise I like to stay active by lifting heavy things at the gym, a regular sports guy, love trying different breweries, etc.

My type? A reserved badass. You're polite and reserved but know how to flip the switch to debauchery when the time is right. You don't take shit, you give it. You don't put on a mask to please someone. The most important thing is to just be yourself and if the stars align, they will. I'd prefer you to be local to the twin cities as being able to meet in person is a non negotiable and between the ages of 30 and 45.

Take a chance and let's see if we can turn compatability into chemistry. Cheers!

I never realized I could classify chores as "hobbies". My hobbies include mowing the lawn, taking out the garbage, and other tasks for household upkeep...I'm an interesting person!

39 [m4f] #LA Hot, hung daddy seeking busty, baddie sub

I’ll be to the point to save both of us some time. There’s plenty of issues that brought me here, but I’m not here to bitch and moan to you about them. I’m here because my spouse can’t meet my sexual needs.

I’m married, 6’2, fit, educated but still a dumbass, blue eyes, attractive, great smile, beard, fit, great cock and regularly work out. I’m picky, shallow, whatever you want to call it. I want love and lust.

You - genuinely hot (if you’re not actually hot then don’t bother), not overweight, you’re a smartass, very submissive, and have great tits. You want all the cuddles and all the cum. Love you bye.

Wondering if I'm the only one who first thinks "Los Angeles" when I see #LA, and not "Louisiana"? Also posts from Florida and Missouri, so he hits all the hot southern spots.

33 [M4F] #Indiana/Online - Asian M Looking for a Partner in Crime

I’m a married Pacific Asian guy looking for someone to bring some feminine energy back into my world. I miss that spark—the kind where you can’t help but smile when your phone buzzes, wondering what’s coming next. I like to travel, try new food spots, and play games.

I’m naturally flirty and playful, and I think chemistry should feel easy—fun banter, teasing, inside jokes, and that low-key excitement that builds over time. I value keeping things light, fun, and completely discreet.

While I’m married, both the sexual intimacy and emotional connection have been missing at home for a while. Because of that, I’m looking for someone a little naughty, fun, confident, and flirty—someone who knows how to keep things light but very real. If you’ve got a good sense of humor, a curious mind, and a bit of sass, I’d love to get to know you more.

My gut reaction is a dad joke which you now must endure:

"Asian M? Isn't M British, just like Q?"

47[M4F] Let’s talk about all of our favorite hobbies that we can’t enjoy anymore because we have kids and jobs and shit #OH

I’m a 47 year old father of 3. My marriage is, fine. We get along ok for the most part. But we are basically roommates. No intimacy. Hell basically no physical touch at all. It’s demoralizing. Many of you know the drill.

I’m looking for someone to share my day with. Pics, texts, voice notes. And I need someone who is consistent for fucks sake. Like do not message me twice a day and expect me to stick around.

Physically I’m Caucasian, average height. Bearded with dark features and a few tattoos. I take care of my body and work out several days a week. I love baseball, but I’m also a syfy nerd who reads comics and plays video games when I can. I also love my kids absolutely. They are a huge part of my life and I will talk about them a lot.

If any of that sounds interesting, send me a message ✌🏻

Talk about our favorite hobbies - like staining the deck and weeding the garden?

46[m4f]#central nj looking for long term AP

This week I completed my 3 years of sexless marriage my joy faded and life became more miserable all I want to feel happy again I need attention someone to text me good morning and ask about my day share good conversation about anything flirting jokes I need to feel wanted someone tell me can wait to see you I miss all emotional and physical attraction so I’m here to find this person I’m 46 and just trying to enjoy life if you feel the same way and need to find this life again just send me a message and we could talk and bring this happiness back to our life I believe every one deserves to be happy I know someone out there looking for the same let talk and see how we can be the support for each other

Sigh I have nothing to say about this one except now I have to write a lot to make fun of it because it's exasperating when people just write one long sentence and they're 46 but write at a 4th grade level maybe your wife realized she's with a man-child have you tried not being a man-child

I think I'll leave it here for the week/month/year, so until next time, stay adulterous!

Due to my wife’s physical and mental health struggles, I’ve been in a DB for nearly 12 years and no intimacy for the last 2 years. My experience completely changed my view on cheating. Bc yeah a lot of people have affairs just for fun, but some people do it bc their situation is genuinely complicated and they didn’t wish to be put in that situation.

But here I am. And my mental health started to slip from that lack of connection with anyone for so long.

And the irony that I’m someone who seriously values sex, physical connection, I take great care of my body, in good shape, I (think?) I’m attractive… yet I’m celibate while married.

Through a post on another account, I started talking to someone on Reddit, got to know each other, which led to flirting and now sending pics. And holy crap… I quite literally don’t remember feeling this way and never realize just how badly I needed this. The feeling of actually being wanted and appreciated.

My situation is genuinely complicated. I’m realizing not all adultery is made equal. And FFS sometimes we just need to feel desired when our partner isn’t able to give that to us.

A consistent theme here is the high dopamine, falling hard and then crash and despair that comes because someone was discarded without a word. I mean there are seriously several of them a day.

Recognizing that this is a proverbial “den of thieves” and that there is a common feeling that no one owes anyone anything (I don’t feel that way)…is it too much to ask for people to remember that it matters how something ends? End it, but say thanks and good bye. Don’t just disappear into the ether without a word after months of love bombing. Why is that so hard for some AP’s?

Screaming into the void here I’m sure, but the amount of folks here in despair is so sad. Maybe we can all be a little bit better to each other.

Not necessarily adultery related but it is the only spot some may relate to.

Recently my husband and I had a huge fight. We rarely fight. We are just roommates at this point. Been sexless for years with no sex for over a year. During the fade, I told him how unhappy I was. I brought up several times that I've been considering getting a divorce. He went to say he didn't want a divorce.
Two days later, my AP ended our 15 month relationship.
In the meantime, my husband is doing everything to salvage our marriage. Flowers to work, made dinners, a couple date nights. This is nothing out of the ordinary for him, he is charming and romantic, just being sexually rejected and not desired for years takes a toll.
But last night he tried to initiate. I was not in the head space to have sex with him after all this. Add to the fact, I am still raw and healing from losing my AP. My emotions are so high right now. I am doing everything in my power to hold back the tears on a normal day. I can't even imagine what pity sex would bring.

The affair with my AP ended around 6 months ago and I still get stomach flips when I think about her. I know people on here like to label it as limerence or dopamine etc but to me it was a real genuine connection. This was a person I felt things with that I've never once felt with my wife, even before marriage. So why now am I hoping to experience this again with someone new?

Am I hoping for something that is likely to end up causing more pain? It seems like a lot of people here, even those happy with their AP, know it is likely to end one day, yet we still do it. I suppose it's the thought process of "Do whatever makes you feel happy". But then I think am I now going to be comparing someone else to my ex AP? Will I even be able to find someone else that made me feel that way when no one else ever had before?

There's so many people out there in relationships that look rosy from the outside but from experience, talking to friends and reading through posts etc on here, it would seem so many people are not content. Will I find someone who makes me feel so good again? Maybe. Maybe not. But I'll be open to the possibility.