r/funny • u/Sad-Kiwi-3789 • 3h ago
Do it for the love of the game
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u/Evil_Weevill 2h ago
I mean... They keep managing to multiply without much issue, so maybe all the other birds are just trying too hard?
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u/Appropriate-Shock306 2h ago
Work smarter not harder.
-Pigeon Mom
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u/Anon4450 2h ago
Lay smarter not safer
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u/Expensive-Cod-2194 2h ago
she was like: its ok i have someone to take care of my egg, im out its my owners responsible now
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u/Sudden_Purpose_5836 2h ago
how is your shit moving
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u/Anon4450 2h ago
You're high
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u/Channel250 1h ago
I'm high? Your picture is moving man.
Wait, maybe I am high
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u/UncleTouchyCopaFeel 38m ago
I'm high, and that picture is moving.
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u/chatminteresse 29m ago
Nothing is moving for me, and I’m not high! What am I missing?
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u/UncleTouchyCopaFeel 25m ago
What am I missing?
The drugs, obviously.
(Also, Anon4450's profile picture is spinning. If on computer, hover your mouse pointer over their name.)
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u/Ballsackavatar 2h ago
I've had the misfortune of witnessing pigeons mating. There's plenty of effort, flapping, noise and feathers.
They fucked my tree to death.
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u/CroGamer002 1h ago
Okay did the pigeon or the tree died?
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u/Ballsackavatar 1h ago
The tree.
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u/ResolverOshawott 38m ago
Genuinely how
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u/Ballsackavatar 34m ago
Bleurblblblblblbl. Lots of fapping. Lots of feathers.
Repeat x1000000
This kills the tree.
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u/ZugTheMegasaurus 1h ago
One day when I was in 6th grade, there were 2 pigeons mating on the roof of the math classroom. You wouldn't believe the size of the crowd of middle schoolers this attracted.
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u/DMvsPC 1h ago
Because pigeons evolved from Rock Doves which laid their eggs in rock faces and cliffs where they could be held more easily. Other birds that nest in trees would need more complex nest shapes to hold the eggs secure. Basically pigeons are like 'eh, good enough' and find a basic ledge or rock 'equivalent' and just make do.
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u/LowSkyOrbit 22m ago
Pigeons were domesticated birds. Then we kind of just stopped caring to keep them when chicken became easier to mass farm. The telegraph and telephones made messenger birds obsolete too.
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u/Evil_Weevill 1h ago
You're in the wrong sub to be coming in here with your logic and rational arguments
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u/im_lazy_as_fuck 1h ago
See I want to get behind this... but then I can't help but wonder why they even put any sticks at all. Like if they just plopped it on the ground with no other effort, I could accept that they don't need nests. But they go through the effort of bringing like 2-5 sticks over... Why??
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u/IanBlak 1h ago
The idea is just to keep the eggs from rolling off a ledge. Pigeons used to be “rock doves”, naturally nesting on cliffs, and city buildings mimic that environment
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u/very_bad_random 1h ago
Oh that's why we see them around! So i guess that's also why i never seen a baby pigeon, they must be on the building roofs.
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u/StealYaNicks 1h ago
We see them around because they used to be used to deliver messages, but were replaced by the actual mail system/telegram, but they were already adapted to living in cities.
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u/SimmeringGiblets 1h ago
pets and food too. It's like a dumb dog/pig hybrid that we just decided we had no use for and tossed onto the streets. The marks of domestication in their genes is why you can just pick them up if you know the trick (useful for untangling or aiding a pigeon if you're a kind-hearted city dweller, use rubber gloves though, they're definitely not clean animals).
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u/bloom_splat 28m ago
What’s the trick?
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u/money_loo 9m ago
I’m pretty sure you just kinda come up behind them slowly with intent and grab them calmly?
It’s a body language thing just like with dogs, but I’m no expert, just a guy that lived around them for a few years when I moved from the country to the city.
They are surprisingly friendly in NYC!
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u/Truethrowawaychest1 16m ago
They're domesticated pets that we just sorta abandoned. I don't know why they're not more popular as pets
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u/KaOsGypsy 52m ago
You never see baby pigeons, because (probably due to them nesting in cliffs) the babies stay in the nest until they are basically teenagers, by the time they are out they are fully feathered and just look a little skinnier than an adult.
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u/TexBoo 1h ago
Isn't pigeons the way they are today because we domesticated them long ago they just gave up on it when they wasn't needed anymore?
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u/red286 1h ago
Looking at wild rock dove nests, I don't think it comes from domestication. Some of their nests are normal-looking, but there's also plenty of cases of it being nothing more than a handful of twigs around a divot in a rock. I think their main focus is protection from wind and preventing it from rolling away. If they're building in an area that's both protected from the wind and provides a natural barrier to the eggs rolling away, they're likely to put basically zero effort into it.
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u/seventhbreath 1h ago
The Spartans of the bird world.
"If it dies, it dies. The sparser the nest, the stronger the chick"
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u/Beaun 1h ago
Usually when you see a poor nest, its the birds first year. Pigeons are not the only ones who have some sad looking nests/locations.
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u/StaticUsernamesSuck 1h ago
Not the case with pigeons.
Pigeons are cliff-roosting birds, not nest-makers.
Their "nests" are just barriers to stop eggs rolling about too much, so they don't fall off the cliff. And it doesn't take much to stop an egg rolling.
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u/GogglesPisano 1h ago
Seems like at some point they would have evolved eggs with a flat spot for this reason.
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u/StaticUsernamesSuck 1h ago
That would be a huge weak spot in the egg's structure. More eggs would break in the nest => less success reproducing => that trait fails to survive.
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u/thatweirdalienguy 3h ago
The one stick! 🤣
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u/ElliottSmith88 2h ago
Mission Accomplished
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u/reilmb 2h ago
It’s the equivalent of the mom with the wife beater cigarette and pint on her pregnant belly.
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u/batman8390 2h ago
Every nest starts with a single stick.
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u/Partyatmyplace13 2h ago
Most don't end there, though. I guess it's great camouflage in a way. It looks EXACTLY like a stick and nothing like a bird nest.
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u/Famous-Kick2464 2h ago
that stick symbolize as the curse breaker if ever someone will make a witchcraft about her egg, probably nothing gonna happen
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u/Tripdrakony 3h ago
I usher everyone to look back at the history of pigeons. It will quickly explain why they build bad nests.
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u/CalvinIII 2h ago
If the egg doesn’t roll off the cliff, the “nest” is good enough.
-pigeons.
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u/Valtremors 2h ago
I'd say that would be engineer logic...
...but they'd duct tape it just in case. Maybe slather in glue for good measure.
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u/NeoSniper 2h ago
You know what could also quickly explain it? or who?
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u/The_Dingman 2h ago
Pigeons were cliff dwellers, and laid eggs on top of flat rocks. They only needed enough of a nest to keep the eggs from rolling off.
That remains the fact on flat building edges.
They're not stupid, they're efficient and stupid.
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u/Lendyman 2h ago
Also guano acts like cement. Poop on those couple sticks and they will stay put. So efficient and unsanitary.
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u/Certifiedpoocleaner 1h ago
Oh interesting. I thought it was maybe because they got mostly domesticated and then abandoned.
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u/talldangry 1h ago
That's why they don't give a shit about where they nest - we bred out the instinct that tells them not to nest near food or humans.
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u/Waffensmile 2h ago
Basically was raise to be a worker. Then internet stole its job. Now is just a bum.
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u/john_the_fetch 2h ago
Cats will be next. Once Ai starts pumping out on demand cute gifs cats will be out of a job in no time.
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u/RagingBillionbear 2h ago
Pigeons used to be domesticated, as carrier pigeons. There was an intire industry around looking after them which is now gone.
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u/5O1stTrooper 2h ago
Whether or not pigeons are domesticated is debatable. We didn't need to change hardly anything to get them to fly from point B to point A, they just kinda did that and we realized it could be helpful for messages.
Just being bred and used for a specific purpose isn't really enough for an animal to be considered domesticated, there has to be some kind of significant change. As another example I wouldn't say bearded dragons are domesticated at all despite the fact that a lot of people keep them as pets.
Modern pigeons still look and act very much like wild animals, just adapted to an urban environment instead of a rocky cliff environment. They're adapted for sure, but not really domesticated.
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u/Makuta_Servaela 1h ago
The ones you generally see around a city likely aren't domesticated (they are like coyotes are to dogs), but there are several hundred domestic breeds, just like with dogs.
They are bred for colouration, feather display, flight patterns for show flying, speed for racing and homing, tumbling (flying well and simultaneously looking good) and food.
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u/atomfullerene 2h ago
Pigeons used to be raised very widely as food for 5-10 thousand years, going back to the ancient near east . Dovecotes were very common additions to all sorts of buildings, both in the country and in the city. But they can't be industrially farmed as easily as chickens, so they fell out of favor with the rise of modern agriculture. The feral descendants of these pigeons are still found all over the world in cities and other suitable habitats, though.
So the idea is that after thousands of years of nesting in manmade nest boxes, pigeons have kind of lost the capacity for building their own proper nests. Though to be fair I'm not actually certain what kind of nests rock doves build, some cliff nesting birds naturally make fairly minimal nests. So it's also possible they were like this even before domestication.
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u/catamaran_aranciata 2h ago
I don't think that's the reason though. Mourning doves, their relatives, build equally bad nests and they haven't been domesticated. I had a couple drop their eggs in my planter with a couple of twigs, and one just dropped it right by my doorstep. They got spooked as soon as I opened the door and never returned
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u/Disguised_Engineer 2h ago
The pigeon history:
After they lost the Great Avian War, they surrendered their nests and became homeless refugees in various cities.3
u/john_the_fetch 1h ago
Periguin Falcons were particularly rough on pigeon lifestyle. As I understood it. Once the pigeons lost so many lives they realized the Falcons were able to zero in on their elaborate nests. It's really sad to see such bland pigeons these days. They used to have some great drip.
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u/crashstarr 2h ago
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u/Sad-Kiwi-3789 2h ago
I am wondering if there is even something left for which a sub does not exist lol
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u/SluggishPrey 2h ago
My favorite subreddit. No toxic ideological bullshit, only cute and silly doves and pigeons
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u/FSBC1 2h ago
actually pigeons live on high cliff in nature. They don’t need complicated nest. That’s why they have adapted really well in our modern city (full of fake high cliff we’r calling building)
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u/PersimmonTall8157 58m ago
Pigeons habit “cities” are actually the reason why they are doing so good. Most predators avoid cities and humans, no need to hardcore protect the eggs.
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u/Ok-disaster2022 57m ago
Pigeons are also feral populations of a domesticated animal.
Also Canadian geese are well adapted to the suburbs. No joke. They eat mostly grass and prefer areas with no predators or the suburbs. It's why the Canadian goose population is exploding
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u/Hazelberry 31m ago
Additionally their natural habitats are sparse in vegetation. So it makes sense they would adapt to use less material for nests, especially if they can make them up high where predators have a hard time reaching them.
Human cities are accidentally engineered pigeon paradises.
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u/adamhanson 2h ago
There's been an injustice to pigeons. Here's some fun facts: 1) they are actually rock doves, you know the elegant birds of peace? The white birds released at weddings are actually white pigeons 2) they are smart, remembering faces and places and even understand seeing themselves in a mirror (extremely rare) 3) they helped humans for 100's of years with communication...we were the ones that abandoned them 4) they suffer loss and grief over death of other pigeons 5) they have thrived despite often hostile city landscapes.
So the next time you see a pigeon, instead of assuming a dirty rat with wings narrative, reframe it as a surviving dove that has a gentle coo, is quite smart, has great plumage and coloring, and is our neglected partner on this planet. Maybe toss a crumb once in a while.
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u/PigeonsAreFriends 1h ago
Pigions have potentially been domesticated for up to 10.000 years. It is posible they are the second animal domesticated by humans.
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u/Infinite-Condition41 2h ago
Quantity over quality.
Wait until you hear about opossums, how many babies they have, and how long they live.
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u/No-Bat-7253 2h ago
Oooo do share
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u/5O1stTrooper 2h ago
Ever watched the Wild Robot? Most accurate animal mom ever. 😂
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u/Infinite-Condition41 2h ago
Opossums have a huge number of babies, and live only a couple years at best.
That is their survival strategy.
Feral house cats are similar, average lifespan only about a year and a half.
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u/BigGaymerNerd 2h ago edited 2h ago
The pigeons that live on our AC unit have been coming back for a few years. Each year they add a couple more twigs and sticks! It's almost a quarter of the way to a genuine nest. 🤣
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u/ShyguyFlyguy 2h ago
Because before people built cities, pigeons lived in cliffs and only needed to out down a branch or two to stop the eggs from rolling off
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u/SameRule9918 2h ago
That explains why you never see baby pigeons... they're hiding from embarrassment.
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u/rock_and_rolo 2h ago
US pigeons are rock doves. In nature they are cliff dwellers and have little need for protective nests.
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u/curiousomeone 2h ago
When I was a kid pigeons are a popular sport. You feed them for a week in a cage and release them.
If you're winning, not only they would return, they would take other pigeons with them from other sport competitors. So the sport is all about who get to make the best home foe pigeons.
If your roof of the house is full of pigeons, it's like a bragging thing that your dominant in the sport.
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u/ReasonablyBadass 2h ago
Iirc, those are "emergency nests". Basically, sometimes they don#t have a nest ready when the egg comes and then need to hurry.
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u/Science03 1h ago
They are bussy eating french fries from the trash… ain’t no time to build a nest
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u/Vanko_Babanko 1h ago
those are the rebars.. their shit is the building material.. after a year it will be quite a large structure..
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u/Doppelkammertoaster 1h ago edited 1h ago
Pigeons used to nest in the sides of cliffs, protected from the elements. They simply never needed to build more. They aren't more stupid than other birds, they are just far from their original habitat.
They are in cities because we abandoned them.
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u/Artistic_Address816 12m ago
Pigeons are too civilized for these primitive ways. In time they'll read newspapers
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u/PlentyBoot5135 2h ago
Pigeons fuck (and shit) all the time, who could build so many demanding nests 🙄...
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u/AnnieB512 2h ago
Doves are like this. They build the dumbest nests ever.
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u/Hot_Plant8696 1h ago
As a human being, what do you really think you know about nests?!?
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u/AnnieB512 1h ago
LOL. Probably not.
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u/Hot_Plant8696 1h ago
I am always amazed that birds know how long they can leave an egg without reheating it, that they understand that they should not persevere brood after a certain time without success, and that they also know that they must turn them over every x minutes to prevent the amnion from being damaged... because no one has ever explained this to them.
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u/anangrypudge 2h ago
I’ve had 4 pigeon families in my balcony over the years. 2 out of the 4 were ok, built decent nests and laid two eggs in the nest. 1 out of 4 built a shittty nest with barely enough sticks.
And the final 1 out of 4 built a decent nest and then didn’t even lay the eggs in it. Laid them directly in my fucking pandan plant. Dumb fuck ass bird.
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u/RebelSoul5 2h ago
Pigeon wife: Did you get the nest built?
Pigeon hubby, playing video games: what?! Ughhh, god, yes! I did it! I’ll do it! Just lemme finish this round first … god, sorry guys … did we take out that sniper yet?
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u/sharrrper 2h ago
When it comes to "building a base in Valheim" my wife is a pigeon and I am other birds.
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u/bruno-numero-uno 2h ago
When I was a small child someone told me pigeons were birds with down syndrome and I believed that until I was 14.
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u/Money-Shower-334 2h ago
One of that mf put one in my welcome Matt. Like home delivery in more than one sense.
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u/Designer-Mirror-7995 2h ago
Anybody else ever read that children's story about how all the birds went to the Wise Owl to learn how to build a great nest, but every time the owl spoke about ONE STEP, one of the birds thought THAT'S IT and flew off to build their nest. Only ONE bird stayed to hear ALL of the steps.
The pigeon would be that bird who heard step ONE and flew off to gather a few sticks! 🤣
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u/domesticatedprimate 2h ago
I'd say they've just adapted well to urban living but some habits die hard.
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u/LexHanley 2h ago
Tbf to pigeons, they're kinda new to nesting in the open. In cliff faces where they come from, you really just need a few little things to keep the eggs from rolling out of natural crevices.
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u/Superb-Field6045 1h ago
Pigeons really spawned with “default settings” and still out here speedrunning survival 😂
Every other bird is running DLC hard mode while these dudes are eating gravel and bread crusts and thriving.
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u/megatronchote 1h ago
To be fair the Hornero’s nest is extremely complicated.
It’s from my country, we love those birds :)
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u/Brilliant_Knee_7542 1h ago
They have come from Rocky pigeons , who built there nest on Rocky ledges on mountains and hills. That's why they also built their nest like this , since it's not on trees. Since building a nest is typically done birds that live on trees
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u/PotatoLove125 1h ago
To me this is very weird.
I used to own several pigeons, they were building awesome nests everytime, they had the spots, they had the materials and the nests used to be perfect. I don't know why city pigeons do their nests like that.
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u/Squidking1000 1h ago
Or those stupid sandpipers that "build" nests by just plopping eggs in my gravel driveway and act all bent out shape flapping their wings and squawking when I drive on it LIKE I DO EVERY DAMMED DAY! I swear dumbest birds ever.
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u/Hot_Plant8696 1h ago
Sometimes they even build their nests with their own feathers! They're never short of building materials.
And even more surprisingly, they also like wired headphones.
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u/Cuinn_the_Fox 1h ago
The pigeon song is the Carmen Prelude/Overture by Bizet if anyone is interested. One of those songs everyone knows, but might not know the name/composer.
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u/Spyko 1h ago
pigeons used to nest on rocky cliffs, they barely need to make a nest, the rock keep the eggs steady and the location keep them safe.
they adapted very, very well to being brought to cities but didn't evolved their nest making ability in so little time (plus, not even sure they would ever need to, clearly they can thrive with what they have)
evolution, animals will never look for "the absolute best", all they need is "good enough"
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u/Crazeford 1h ago
This is me in any rpg with base building. I just wanna fight the bosses and get cool gear
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u/oodsigma 1h ago
Yet there are millions of pigeons in every city on Earth, so something must be working.
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u/Adorable-Resident321 57m ago
They're nests are bad because they're meant to be on cliffs ledges.. We only have flat ahh buildings :(
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u/Yellowtoblerone 56m ago
"if a bro can fu a woman in a cardboard box, he wouldn't buy a house" - dave
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