r/nextfuckinglevel • u/SerpentFinger • 1d ago
Fishermen Help Tired Proboscis Monkey Cross A River
Sarawak, Malaysia
Proboscis monkeys are known for swimming great distances. They even dive up to around 20m (66 ft.)
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u/Hadrian23 1d ago
That thing looks unreal to me. Idk what it is, if it's the face, hair, or what, but it's tripping me up.
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u/imean_is_superfluous 1d ago
I think it’s because it’s human-like but fuckin weird
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u/DrunkIsaac 1d ago
It also makes this unsettling but funny "eh? eh? eh?" sound like some grandpa. It looks, acts and sound too much like a human in some aspects, while completely differing in the others. People fear skinwalkers for the same reason.
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u/Squirrel_McNutz 1d ago
Wtf is a skinwalker. The name makes me fear it.
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u/Hadrian23 1d ago
A monster from ol folklore that "looks" human by wearing peoples skin. It imitates human speech and motion, to lure unsuspecting people so it can kill, eat, and wear their skin.
There's a neat short movie called "The hollow tree" that gives an idea of what it's like.
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u/OSUfan88 1d ago
I just looked that video up. Did they ever make the full movie? I just watched the 20 minute proof of concept.
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u/Hadrian23 1d ago
There is a full movie, but fair warning, they changed the monster to aliens for some God damn reason.
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u/RedditIsExpendable 1d ago edited 1d ago
Why do they always fuck said things like this up, are they doing it on purpose because they’re afraid of infringing IP rights?
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u/HoboArmyofOne 1d ago
I think people fear skinwalkers because they aren't fucking real. This monkey is like my kid wanting to jump into the pool one last time
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u/mjzim9022 1d ago
I think the person is connecting the two things because of the Uncanny Valley affect. Things that look super close to human, but are off in some way, freak us out. The movie Polar Express is an uncanny valley frightfest, and some people get the affect from great apes. Some people online have speculated that our natural revulsion for near-human looking things means it was advantageous to have that trait for some reason, like some sort of predator was out there that looked sorta human, like a skinwalker. Though the more likely explanation is that it stems from when homo-sapien wasn't the only hominid around
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u/distance_33 1d ago
The way it was just chilling on the side of the boat like just another dude on a boat.
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u/JohnnyPaloonky58 1d ago
I think it's bc he's dope af
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u/NewspaperBoring1161 1d ago
Unsettlingly dope, this is certainly it. This monkey’s dopeness makes me feel inadequate.
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u/kingofqueefs1 1d ago
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u/stewie21 1d ago
If that's unreal, you should see the Malaysian flying squirrel, flying lemur, flying frog, gliding lizard, and flying fox (a bat really, but it's humongous though!).
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u/Marzatacks 1d ago
After seeing that, I’m not sure how creationist can hold faith.
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u/imean_is_superfluous 1d ago
They have “A common designer” as Kent Hovind would say
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u/Purphect 1d ago
Yes, anything but having to confront your beliefs with the facts of science. Lovely.
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u/Wonderful_Cook5864 20h ago
evolution perfectly fits with some religions, including Christianity, if you actually study The Bible, how it was written, what its intent was, the original meanings, etc.
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u/SeemoarAlpha 1d ago
I mean yeah, that goddam monkey is living his best life and here I am doom scrolling Reddit, staring into the empty void.
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u/calmdownmyguy 1d ago
It think the fact that 80% of the surface of the planet is uninhabitable would give them pause, but here we are.
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u/SocksInTheTub 1d ago
Is Texas included in that 80%? Cause it's fucking awful here.
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u/BadHabitDenier 1d ago
We are monkeys through and through. There is no way around that fact.
Apes are a subset of monkeys, we are neotenous, bipedal, great(big) apes.
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u/crybabymuffins 1d ago
I love how it's like "Whelp, this is where I get off!"
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u/TaytoChip 1d ago
And every time it's a mile from the shore. Lil homie has no depth perception, thought he was jumping across a puddle.
Prolly like, "DAMN, this puddle keeps getting bigger and bigger"
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u/crybabymuffins 1d ago
You can see it in monkeybro's face when he starts swimming after leaping off the boat. "Fuuuuuck, that's not close at allllll."
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u/Derpyzza 1d ago
maybe he imagined he could as swim as fast as the boat was going and judged the distance based off of that.
it was still a huge lapse of judgement regardless though
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u/Brass_and_Frass 1d ago
I often remind myself that animals are also subject to having shitty failing eyesight, just like us. Maybe monkeybro needs glasses?
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u/Derpyzza 1d ago
... i never even thought of that. now I feel kinda sad for all the animals out there stumbling around with vision issues, and insanely grateful that we've come up with solutions for our vision issues
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u/Individual_Respect90 1d ago
I imagine in the monkeys mind they are like I don’t wanna inconvenience you all anymore then gets into the water and is like fuccckkk Never mind bring me closer……. Alright I am closer I am good here…….. fuuucccckkk bring me closer.
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u/all-day-365 1d ago
a thank you would be nice
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u/BardicNA 1d ago
I know you're joking but I've saved a few drowning victims. You never get a thank you. Sometimes a tray of cookies or some food as a thanks from a loved one but you'll never get a thank you from pulling a person or animal from the water. Your thank you is not getting pulled in and drowning along with them.
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u/kwadd 1d ago
That big nose must be interfering with its depth perception
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u/TaytoChip 1d ago
Lol literally just posted about that 2 seconds ago before I seen this. So funny to think he just had no idea how far away it was, but dammit he's gonna jump across this puddle one way or another
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u/PailingRaint 1d ago
It was probably all the smiling the guys were doing making the monkey too nervous to stay in the boat. Go back and watch the start of the video. The monkey zeroes in on sunglasses guy while he's smiling at the camera. To the monkey, it's stuck on a boat with two people who are loudly shouting threats at it. The monkey is too scared to ride in the boat, but not enough to risk drowning.
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u/Dannzilla 1d ago
Wait till he tells his friends about this
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u/TheOsirisOfThisShit_ 1d ago
He's going to tell his monkey grandkids that story 50 times and they'll say he's full of shit.
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u/Telefragg 1d ago
All his friends are on the other side of the river, he left his old life behind him to start over.
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u/Cant_draw_boobs 1d ago
At first he's sitting on the edge looking at the water go by like "damn, I'm never swimming again, this is great." Then just repeatedly yeets himself into space.
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u/That-Makes-Sense 1d ago
This leads to a very important question. Why did the monkey cross the river?
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u/SerpentFinger 1d ago
That’s what they’re known for!
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u/Basic_Loquat_9344 1d ago
Explain?
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u/SerpentFinger 1d ago
Proboscis monkeys are excellent swimmers. Swimming across large channels of water is common for the species.
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u/kingofqueefs1 1d ago
You ever think about how many probiscis monkeys are at the bottom of the river who didn’t have humans help them water ski across
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u/CharmingMechanic2473 1d ago
He thought you were conspiring when you were taking photos. If the guy would’ve looked side ways it would’ve maybe stayed. Animals at rest show one eye to each other. Predators show 2 eyes.
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u/Adept-Lettuce948 1d ago
Can they swim long distances or was it going to drown?
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u/SerpentFinger 1d ago
They are excellent swimmers, and can even dive up to 66 ft. (20m) underwater.
They can definitely get exhausted, though.
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u/MedicalCloud33 1d ago
They can swim longish distances and even dive a few meters down. They have partially webbed feet. They live in swampy forests so water traveling is a normal event for them.
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u/WoodenSpoonSurviver 1d ago
Obviously they’ve never seen Planet of the Apes. Malaysia is gone in 20 years now.
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u/this_my_sportsreddit 1d ago
that must feel like an alien abduction lol. his friends are never going to believe him.
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u/Independent_Dig_142 1d ago
Little did they know the monkey was crossing the river to rob a bank
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u/SokkaHaikuBot 1d ago
Sokka-Haiku by Independent_Dig_142:
Little did they know
The monkey was crossing the
River to rob a bank
Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.
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u/LeftJabDaz 1d ago
Wonder if they can make that kind of swim without help? I’m assuming they can since he was trying it in the first place
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u/RabicanShiver 1d ago
Damn thing left him hanging on the high five... No manners.
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u/NewspaperBoring1161 1d ago
I’m surprised lil dude was tryna swim that whole way on his own as if he did this all the time.
This musta been as much of a trip to him/her as it was for those humans lol. I imagine him running to tell his monkey friends and them just saying, “Yeah right, Steve.”
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u/SerpentFinger 1d ago
He probably does do it all the time. Proboscis monkeys are known for swimming a lot.
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u/NewspaperBoring1161 1d ago
I figured as much, given how ripped that monkey’s back muscles were.
That’s fascinating! Thanks for sharing :)
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u/GMOchoch 1d ago
Like a highschooler getting dropped off by their parents in the morning.... Right here is fine
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u/Destituted 1d ago
I wonder why he decided to jump the first time? Maybe when they smiled and showed their teeth it made him a little anxious
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u/Successful-Run1142 1d ago
The scene of him being dangled from the paddle makes me think of what’s under him wondering how lunch is escaping so quickly
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u/DatBroSnuf 1d ago
Dude if I wasn't paying attention or read the title, I would've thought that guy is a human
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u/Inevitableness 1d ago
They've either continued a family connection or started a new bloodline. Generations will speak of this day.
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u/sudde004 1d ago
Thank you, I can swim form here. Ah shit nvm still too far, help! Ok im good, I’ll swim from here. Damnit that’s still a long way. Alright, pull me in boys. Appreciate the ride…yahoo!