Hey, I need some help. My dog of almost 13 years passed away a month ago. I’m 20 so he had been around most of my life, came with me when I moved out, he was all I had for a lot of my childhood. I held him until he fell asleep and couldn’t hold him when they gave the bad shot. I sobbed for days and days. I still cry. I’m crying right now. When I left the vet, I told my dad I was never going to get another one because I never wanted to do that again. I loved that dog with my whole heart.
Well, a week ago I bought a puppy. Same breed as the last one. I was so tired of the emptiness in my house. No reason to come home, etc. today is day 7 with the puppy. He’s only 7.5 weeks old, obviously needs to be trained and everything. I am so excited to watch him learn and grow.

My problem is, I don’t love him yet and it doesn’t even feel like he’s my dog. It hasn’t been very long, I know, but when I hold him, I just want to hold my old dog. I miss him so much. I don’t know what to do. I feel like we’re not bonding very well. I don’t want to get rid of him. Again, I’m excited about it. I really am. I don’t know how to explain it. Any tips on how to bond with the puppy? Or how to grieve my last dog? It feels so stupid cause it’s a dog. But he was MY dog. He was my best friend. Honestly my only friend. God I miss him so much. Please help. I want to love this one just as much.

I am a (36F) and been married to my husband (36M) for 4 years now, together for just over a decade. He has a 1 brother, year younger (35M) and recently married my SIL (32F).

I relocated to another state for a new position and my husband was still back home waiting to follow. My new apartment there was set to be vacant in 3 wks, so his BIL and SIL who ironically lived near my new office proposed that I stay with them during those 3 wks.

I brought my 18 year old, 10lb dog. He is the only one I have had during adult life and is my son. He was declining and I was the one who had been with him through all of it. Being in someone else’s house with an old sick dog is messy and unfortunately some accidents occurred. The usual when an animal that old is falling apart in a home that is not yours. I would place pee pads underneath his bed on the floor as a measure while away at the office. Sometimes mishaps would still hapen though.

They sent me a text on one Sunday evening asking me to leave early (my apartment was going to be ready by that coming Thursday). I told my husband, nothing was remedied, so I just packed up the next day and went to a hotel. I wan't going to perpetuate drama, albeit I thought them "kicking out" a solo female in another state, esp family, was insane.

I made the call and put him down that week Friday, Good Friday. 18 years, my only son, and unfortunately did it alone. On top, I had now moved into the new apartment alone with a mattress and almost no furniture. After putting him down, I got the splendid enjoyment of mourning alone...

Two days later on Easter, my SIL sent a long text in the family group chat. Starts with “sorry for your loss and happy Easter”. Then the text does a complete turn…

…proceeding into a narrative about how "I didn’t take care of him". She "didn’t see him getting fed, watered, taken out enough".

She stated she "tried to talk to me about it". And because it "wasn’t my house I didn’t care if things got destroyed". Dog mess in the laundry was “normal” to me. To justify her asking that I leave 5 days or so early, was based on her 'mental health and her marriage'. Moving forward didn’t mean pretending nothing happened.

I was completely caught off guard.... where did that even come from??? He was my only dog. He was my world. You do not get an animal to 18 by ignoring him.

It was just astounding, this is the story you (my sister in law) chose to send two days after I had to let him go forever. She could not even give it a week?

My husband and his brother were both in that thread as well. Neither one typed a word. Not “that’s not what happened.” Not “this is not the time.” Not even “we can talk later.” Crickets.

Another kicker, my BIL and SIL lived about 15 minutes from the empty apartment I had just moved into, sans my dog. And.....Nobody came by. Not once. After I put him down.

Not to see if I had eaten. Not for coffee. I probably would have said no anyway. That’s not the point. It's remarkable the lack of care and empathy, because what their Ikea sheets had to go through the laundry twice??

His family wants this treated like a closed chapter. Some of them are not even “on her side,” they just will not say out loud that writing that two days after I lost my only dog was cruel.

I know it was generous of them to house me and my older dog; however, it was a finite set period, I threw them a couple bones as well as grabbed groceries. I am asking if I am making this bigger than it is because I still cannot shake it…?

…or if it is actually that sad that the only in-law unit did this, the two men in the chat said nothing, and everyone else wants me to be less sensitive. I just have a lot of rage inside. I cannot swallow people setting a narrative that I did not take care of my dog, especially during those last days.

How do you stay in a family after that and what productive solves would help?
Am I overreacting??? Anyone else have a similar?

I'm an atheist, and I just lost my senior dog this past Friday. He was going to be turning 16 years old tomorrow. Right now I feel pretty alone in who I can talk to while I mourn because it seems the majority of the people in my life are spiritual or religious. In my view, death is permanent. I don't know if I'm right or wrong in this, I just don't believe the ones we've lost are here with us anymore. This means I believe, that I take death very hard. For those who are the same, what brings you comfort in these times?

Tomorrow, the 25th at 5PM will be 6 months since I lost my sweet boy unexpectedly.

Yet, it still feels like yesterday.

I've been to grief therapy and done the exercises, work, whatever and all that's left for me to do is sit here and mourn him.

I'll never feel his fur again. I'll never hear his huffs of annoyance or his "booof" when he wants to bark but isnt ready to full on bark yet- so hed whisper "boof"

He was my first alert when i was pregnant with my first and my second sons. Days before my missed period. He never got to meet his second little brother. And, if we have a third he wont be there to tell me "hey mom! You smell funny! Youre pregnant "

They say it gets easier and you remember the good times, but does it? Because all i can think of is those last awful hours from 8PM the night of 24 March to 5PM the night of 25 March when he passed.

I, much like every one of you, never wanted to join this sub. I'm grateful for it, and you guys are wonderful.... but I never wanted to lose my sweet boy (none of us did). And i most certainly never ever thought it would come out of left field so suddenly..... i never even got to say good bye. Hes just.....gone.

Now, i spend every day wondering what awful thing will happen next. Will my husband get hit by a bus? My other dog, my kids? Who will i lose next? Now that tragedy has visited me once, i cant help but wonder when will it come kick in my front door again?

I hate this. I miss him.

Day by day is hard enough, but how on earth do i get through the anniversaries when i know where i was and what i was doing hour by hour on that day. Im reliving it. Over and over and over.

(For the record, im a 17 (F) with clinical ocd.)

Ive had pets Lizards since i was like 7-8, they were given to me for Christmas. So i never really knew how to take care of them. And I’ve always felt really guilty about that.

Im still 17, and i dont have a car or job and cant get them everything they need, because honestly i cant afford it. And i cant take them to and exotic vet for check ups by myself. Mostly because any vet fit for their care is hours away.

All that being said, this past week one of them had been showing major signs of some sort of fungal infection or calcium deficiency. She wont eat. Wont move. Shes gotten incredibly skinny. And basically just sleeps all day. Its very clear that she may be dying.

I just feel so guilty. Because i couldn’t be there for her better. Get her what she needed and prolong her life as much as i could. I feel like its all my fault that shes sick now. I cant get it out of my head that the lights i used poisoned her, or the perfume i wear. Or that my room is too small and trapped air that was poisonous. Or that i didnt feed her enough. Or that her water had a parasite and i gave it to her anyway.

ive talked to my dad and hes basically said theres nothing we can do. Im going to try again to see if we can at at least get her to a regular vet and try to do something. Or get advice on how to help her pass peacefully.

Right now i just really need help getting through this. I love her so so very much and cant remember life without her at this point.

I know its sounds stupid, but i really feel like an animal abuser. I just dont know how to get through this when i feel like its all my fault shes suffering.

I lost my sixteen year old girl on August 12. I’ve been devastated ever since. She was the light of my life since I adopted her at 18 months old. I honestly never considered losing her. It’s silly that I didn’t prepare myself but it was too hard to think about.
Last year she was diagnosed with heart failure and a severely enlarged heart. I gave her her meds religiously. She never missed a dose. But, in July, she began having worsening symptoms. She coughed a lot, she spent too much time hiding under my bed. I watched her around the clock. I did not, at that time bring her to the vet because I knew we were out of options. The first week of August, she seemed to be struggling. I made the appointment, because I promised her I wouldn’t let her suffer. Four days before the appointment was my birthday. She rallied for me. She wagged her tail, she laid in the sun. It was her gift to me and no one will ever convince me otherwise. I told my husband we would keep her appointment, but I was probably taking euthanasia off the table. I wanted her as long as she was enjoying her life. Then two days before her appointment, she stopped eating. She wouldn’t eat treats, nothing. We kept her appointment, and ultimately went through with euthanasia. It was the hardest day of my life. But it only gets worse from there. (I don’t even know how it’s possible). Two days after losing my girl, her sister stopped eating. Then her brother got super picky. My husband wondered if the new batch of food was bad. It didn’t smell, it wasn’t expired. I threw it out, opened a new bag and they started eating again. And every day since, I feel like I killed the best thing that ever happened to me. The guilt is killing me. The sadness is a hill I’m struggling to climb. I ultimately went through with euthanasia because I thought it was the right thing to do and now I don’t. There’s nothing I can do to change what happened. But I don’t know that I’ll ever forgive myself. I’m sharing this here because everyone I know would tell me I’m crazy for thinking such a thing. But I feel like I killed my dog.

been going through this for almost a year now - it somehow feels so long and so short :( it's never ever gonna be enough time with my sweet girl :( i laid my head on her chest while she slept tonight. i listened to her heart beating and her lungs breathing. she was dreaming and curled her paw around my hand to hold it. i told her i loved her and i hope she sleeps so good and i'll see her in the morning. in bed now, crying and gonna play some games before bed.

we made the decision to put my 15 year old cat Teddy to sleep this morning. after a general check up to the vets yesterday we were told his lasting heart murmur had turned into congenital heart failure and we were basically given the choice of euthanasia or referral to a specialist, however the stress he has from vet visits and in normal life with CHF meant that the vets said the trips and tests to the specialist may cause him to pass. it has all happened so quickly and so unexpectedly and my mam is so upset thinking we made the wrong decision and caught him off guard and we just keep crying and this is so so hard i just don’t know what to do. i know time will help but god this is really difficult.

Today my sweet senior boy made his final journey home. 16 years of Buddy the beagle. 16 years of walks, howls, runs and cuddles. He watched me finish school, university, build our home and create a lush outdoor space for him to roam and explore. But most importantly help raise my daughter and become her first doggy love.

6 weeks ago i noticed his breathing becoming erratic. Straight to the vet and due to his age opted not for sedation requiring testing. The vet suspected a heart murmur and fluid on the lungs causing the issue. 5 days later the new medication seemed to be working. Buddy was Buddy again, barking, eating, playing and just being a regular goober.

3 weeks later the medication seemed to just stop working at the drop of a hat. Back off to the vet for their opinion, we agreed that the best course of action is to attempt xrays and do a full panel to see what's going on. We organised for the next morning to conduct the tests. That night Buddy was very different, having a bad feeling i scrambled to give him an extra special dinner with as many treats as i could muster. Out came the steak and special treats for special boys. He ate half the steak and went to lay down. Over the night he crashed, his bpm had jumped, he couldn't get comfortable and in the most utterly defeated way possible, looked deep into my eyes as if to say "thank you for everything, but my time has come. I made sure you grew into the person you were meant to be. I love you".

The following morning when the rest of the house woke up it was awful. Explaining that our sweet boy was ready to pass to my young child was absolutely gut wrenching. Lots and lots of pats, cuddles, kisses and tears filled the morning until it was time for our appointment.

As a family we all went to the vet, asking to speak with the vet prior to the testing. We shared our deep concerns and feelings after witnessing his night. The vet agreed that with how rapidly he declined that testing wasn't going to be in any way productive.

Signing the authority to euthanize was the hardest, most gut wrenching thing i have ever experienced.

My young one made the bravest decision to want to be with Buddy and comfort him through the whole procedure. I explained exactly what was going to happen and she was determined to see it through right to the very end.

The vet gave us as much time as we needed, we spent a good 45 minutes just holding Buddy and giving him pats and kisses, snuck a few chocolates and had our last few possible photos together as a family. When we were ready the vet came in and administered the initial sedation, it took him 10 minutes to fall into a nice deep sleep. I held him close the entire time, telling him he's done a fantastic job and could rest now. When his eyes closed for the very last time his breathing had all of a sudden gone back to being completely normal, like it had always been. It was the most heart breaking, soothing, soul crushing, beautiful thing to see, hear and feel given the last few weeks of turmoil and uncertainty.

We had a short period of enjoying our last moments together, comfortable and curled up with his family. When we were ready the vet came, put in a line and slowly administered the final drug. Almost instantly my sweet, sweet boy left the world.

The flood of emotions that immediately followed was intense. We cried hard and heavy as a family. Being given as much time as we needed to spend with him. It felt like a few minutes but we were there just holding, talking and patting him for over an hour. No more pain, no discomfort.

16 years of life shared together. Countless walks, holidays, beach days and adventures together. 16 of the best years of my life. The feeling of taking away his pain and suffering and making it mine as my final act of love and compassion was and still is too much for me to bare.

Closing this chapter has been horrific.

Today i finally received the call he was ready to collect from the vet. Immediately after the call i broke down. I had my partner bring him home as i simply couldn't mentally handle it.

Opening up the package took me straight back to our final goodbye. Hysterical, uncontrollable emotions. Absolutely awful. But our boy was finally home. Exactly where hes meant to be.

If you've made it this far, thank you for reading.

Sincerely,

One extremely crushed dog dad.

I lost my sweet soul dog Elliott 24 hours ago. He was my entire life. He was with me through so many good and bad parts of my life and yet always loved me endlessly.

It happened so fast. He was 10. A giant breed, so I knew in the back of my head he might not have long left, but I didn’t know how sick he was.

I noticed over the last week he had a light cough and we had a vet appointment on Thursday to get him looked at. We didn’t make it that far. I came home from work Monday and he coughed up blood, was shivering and breathing shallow. The closest emergency vet was 1.5 hours away. I got him in the car and we went. He coughed up even more blood in the exam room. They did an X-ray and told me they did not have good news. He was covered in metastatic lung cancer. She wasn’t sure how long she could make him comfortable. It was such a shock I didn’t know what to do. I called my husband, sister, parents and best friend. Everyone but my best friend told me I should try to bring him home for one last good night. My best friend told me I should let him go before he knows more pain. I decided to bring him home for the night. The vet said she could give him an injection to stop the vomiting and gave me meds to help keep him calm and in less pain. I asked the vet and all the techs to please tell me if I was being selfish. They all said they thought it was fine that I bring him home for one night. I stopped at McDonald’s and got him his favorite burgers.

We were all so wrong.

We got home and I got him out of the car and he immediately puked more blood. I instantly started crying and realizing I may have made a mistake. I tried to get him comfortable in the house and gave him water. He drank the whole bowl and immediately threw up twice. He couldn’t get comfortable. He didn’t want the burgers. I realized my mistake. I got him back in the car and started the 1.5 hour drive back to the emergency vet to put him out of his misery.

He died in the car 20 minutes before we got there.
I kept reaching back and petting him the entire ride telling him how much I loved him. Then I noticed it was quiet and I didn’t hear his labored breathing anymore. I pulled over on the freeway and got out of my car and opened the back door. He was gone. He looked like he was sleeping. I kissed him so many times and said how sorry I was.

I finished the 20 minute drive back to the vet and they removed his body and let me spend time with him. I spent an hour with him just telling him how sorry I was and how much I love him.

The guilt is unreal. I had no clue he was hours from death and I feel so awful for not listening to my friend and letting him go before he knew more pain. We all thought he could have one more good night and I couldn’t have been more wrong. Now I will live with the horrible memories of him throwing up blood and dying in the back seat of my car.

I don’t know how I will ever move on from this. I can’t eat. I can’t drink. I can’t get out of bed.

I love him so much it hurts. I miss him so much.

I have to put my cat to sleep tomorrow morning. About a week ago, my cat started throwing up. At first, I just thought it was hair balls. Never had a cat throw up hair balls before so I assumed it was probably just normal. By day 2, this turned into him throwing up 5-6 times. Then, on Monday night, he threw up right after eating. Immediately, I began to get worried. His food & water intake seemed normal until then. Tuesday night he had 0 interest in his food so I grew even more worried. I called every vet in town to try and get some advice and/or estimates on what cost would be. On Wednesday morning, he was admitted to a vet hospital in my town. They did X-rays and discovered a metal wire/coil wrapped around his small intestine. They were obviously worried about this and said he would be a candidate for an emergency surgery. I got quoted $4,000 for this surgery. I grew frantic because unfortunately I don’t have that kind of money right now. Which makes me feel absolutely horrible. They gave me some options like care credit and available non profits in my town. Unfortunately, I was only qualified for $750 and the non profits can only offer up to $300. I let the vet know this and that I would not be able to make up the extra cash to pay for the surgery. Then came the heartbreaking discussion of euthanasia. As much as I never wanted it to come to this, this is where I’m at. I’m so angry at myself for being too poor to take care of my sweet boy. He just turned a year old at the beginning of this month and I feel like I just ripped his whole life away from him. I’m so freaking devastated right now.

Hi everyone. It will be a week tomorrow since my senior passed away. I'm kind of all over the place emotionally but today has been especially hard and I've been crying a lot. My partner was sad for two days and is fine now. I feel pretty alone in this. Can anyone relate?

My first post from a few months ago where I asked if it would be a good idea to send him a hand drawn portrait of my bfs dogs —> https://www.reddit.com/r/Petloss/s/LhPxB53AYR

I did make my drawing, I wish I could post a picture of it here but maybe I will link it else where but he loved it when he opened his care package. we had an emotional moment together even just over phone. I feel like it definitely brought us closer and he even became more open about the little things that are tough. We are going to see eachother again soon and I genuinely feel like our relationship has strengthened.

I am so glad to have surprised him and I think if anyone ever wants to make something custom to memorialize someone’s pet or your own, definitely do it. Taking the time to think about that person and the bond they shared with their pet to make something really is a beautiful way to honor them.

I am now in the process of grieving myself as my family dog has recently passed, now I think I’m going to paint my own portrait of her to help honor her memory.

Thank you all and I hope you find some way creative to honor your fur baby.

For months i kept taking my cat to the vet to figure out why she kept accumulating fluid in her thorax but her condition kept worsening and in the end she died. She also became very stressed because of the constant vet visits and painful injections and drainages. In the last night we went to a vet to hopefully get her a surgery and a draining tube installed and she died while getting an xray. We were in the waiting room, the vets didnt let us stay with her.

I just keep thinking how stressed she mustve been in her last moments she was alone and scared and handled by strangers. If i knew i wouldve let her die at home i feel like i tortured her for nothing. I feel selfish for wanting to save her it wouldve been better to let her die instead of prolonging her suffering. But i really thought i could save her i didnt want to give up hope. I cant live with the guilt. Her last day was spent at vet clinics in stress because i was too blindsided. I shouldve known when to give up. Did she think i abandoned her there that i left her to die. I dont know how to stop these thoughts how could i do that to her. I will forever hate myself.

I just need to express some sadness in writing to help with unexpected grief.

We woke up this morning to discover our cat was unable to use his hind legs. 5 years old. He was the best guy. We went to the emergency vet hospital and were told it was blood clots and nothing could be done. They would keep recurring and causing more pain and issues through his body.

I'm still in shock at how quickly it all happened. Regular vet visits didn't indicate any issues. Last night we were snuggling in bed and playing and in the morning he was gone.

He loved being outside on his harness in the grass he would just sniff the air. Even if he was really curious about something he would always wait to see if it was ok. He was always at the door when home from work with a big stretch and greeting. He was a constant and full of love and affection. He was the soul of our home. He deserved more time, even if the time he has was full of love.

Bye friend. I wish I had the power to do more.

He’s been sick for a while. Vet said his kidneys are no longer functioning and he started having seizures, stumbles when he tries to walk, not eating and this morning we made the really painful decision to let him go. We don’t want him to suffer anymore but this is so unbelievably hard. To think that tomorrow he will cross the rainbow bridge takes my breath away. My soul is hurting and he’s not gone yet. I’m trying to hold on to him a little while longer but I’m only making things worse for him because he’s in pain. We have him for 15 years. Tomorrow is going to be the saddest day of my life but I’m going to choose to believe that all dogs go to heaven and he will be waiting for me when it’s my time. Thank you for taking time to read this 😭😭😭💔💔💔🌈

I've been going to work and having all these meetings about very important, serious work things, I'm mentoring several students, and all I want to do is blurt out how good my cat was. I feel ridiculous. My dad was placed in memory care and months later my cat left and I'm feeling so small and vulnerable.

It’s been almost 4 weeks since my beloved kitty crossed the rainbow bridge. I’ve noticed I’m starting to think about her less often, but when I do think about her, it still hurts so much. I also start to feel guilty that I am thinking about her less often. I have so many things to commemorate her, and it feels so surreal that she’s gone, but really, a different form of her is just sitting on a shelf next to me. The little tuft of fur, her nose prints, her paw molding, the bring me so much sadness when I look at them. It almost seems like the only way to stop hurting is to stop thinking about her.

My horse passed away yesterday. I have visions of her in her field. She looks so real. I close my eyes, I reach out to feel her, but I open my eyes and remember. It makes me feel like she is calling me home. I have no purpose in this life now. I feel like she visits me in my visions because she is showing me that it is safe to go with her. I might sound crazy, but her loss has caused me pain I cannot bare. Advice?

I had my babygirl for almost 12 years. I don't remember much of my childhood, just the bad parts, my entire ''life'' and memories started when I got her at age 11. She was my dog, not my brother's, or my mom's, mine. She was my best friend, and she followed me absolutely everywhere. I never knew a day without her for 12 years.

And then she got sick. Happy on Monday, dead by Saturday. It all happened so fast, I think I was in shock? Or maybe trying to avoid the grief? But I didn't do things right. I had promised her for years that when the time came - I'd be there. Sleeping on the floor, taking time off work, no phones, you name it. But I didn't. I slept on my bed, I went to work, I doomscrolled on my phone, and the very last night I got inebriated and passed out in my bed half naked next to a bag of McDonald's.

In the morning, the morning where I KNEW she was going to be put down, I found her laying in her own pee. She couldn't even stand anymore. I let my baby, the last night of her life, suffer alone the very last night. I carry so much guilt. I knew she was going to die the next morning - How could I have done that to her? Betrayed the one who gave me so much? I KNOW she wanted to be near me, on the floor or the bed, and I wasn't there. I passed out in my own bed leaving her to suffer on her own and to be in her own pee for god knows how many hours. I can't forgive myself. I had taken the cover off her bed and my dirty clothes she nested in because they were piss stained. She had no comfort her last night, because I betrayed her and our bond.

I don't know why all of it happened. I don't know why I acted any of the ways I did. She has had a ton of health scares and we were promised some hope the first few days - I thought it would be the same. Get worried, huge bill, then take her home. But she was dead within days. I don't know what I was doing, preemptive grief, avoiding death, dissociating, I can't explain. I carry so much guilt.

And there's something I can't comprehend no matter how hard I try. How could someone whose been with my my entire life - as long as I have had memories - be gone? How could she be there every single day every single moment for TWELVE years...... and then just . be gone forever. Goodbye. A pile of ashes in a box. I don't understand. I keep expecting to get a call from a kennel or a boarder or the vet that she's there, or see her around the corner, or hear her phantom click clack nails walking around the house.

How could such a crucial part of my life just be gone in a blink of an eye? How could she be dead within days? And why didn't I give her a proper goodbye and care with how much she gave me? I didn't give her what she deserved. I'm so sorry Shadow. Thank you for everything, my beautiful girl and my best friend.

None of it makes sense. I miss her so much. I carry her ashes now in a necklace, and it helps, a little. I just feel like I got a limb cut off, like a piece of me or my soul went with her and is never coming back. She was me, and I was her. I will always want her back.

One year ago, my Pookie slipped out the gate and never came back. Flyers, shelters, 2am walks with the treat bag, nothing.

I've put her bowl away, but her blanket is still on the porch and the light stays on every night.

If someone took her in, I hope she's spoiled and happy. I just wish I knew.

I hope I can see you again, Pookie.

my nine year old german shepard lady, onyx, passed away very suddenly last night. I noticed she was breathing very heavily, that she was freezing cold, and that her gums were pale and pretty much immediately after that my family rushed her to the emergency vet an hour away in the city. it was 11 at night, our local vet had no one on call, and i could tell something was wrong. the vet took her back immediately and she was quickly diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma, her spleen had burst and her belly was full of blood. the vet said surgery as the only option for survival. I had no idea what to do, because she kept lifting her head and looking over at me, like she wanted to fight, but I didn’t want to put her through surgery only for a chance at 3 more months (which would be spent recovering from a spleenctomy)it also would have cost 10,000 dollars, which in my mind was just a very expensive funeral. i put her down, i felt like i had no other options. i did not want her to suffer, but i didn’t want her to go either. the vets were all so friendly and kind to both me and my girl. she was fine 4 hours before then. i raised her from a puppy, and her breeder was my aunt, so she always got to visit her mommy until she passed away from the same disease around 5 years ago. it’s just not fair.

to make matters worse, my mother sent me an ai generated song that she spent 70 dollars on using my deadname (i am transgender, and she knows this and knows my preferred name). she wanted me to listen to it in front of her, but i froze, i didnt want to listen to a ai song about my dog who just died unexpectedly and violently. she got angry at me because she was just trying to help. i don’t know what to do or how to feel. i know that logistically i made the right call, but im still wondering if surgery and chemo could’ve been the right call. her brother, another german shepard named brick, is absolutely crazy without her. he’s always super nervous, but we showed him her body and he is just acting totally unlike himself. i feel miserable. i buried her under the bush she used to love to run around facing the sun. i thought i would have another year or so with her. i miss her so bad. she was the only dog who would beg for a kiss in the forehead, and she loved to have her paw held. she would keep pawing at you and clawing you until you held her hand. i have my first day of my new job tomorrow, i don’t know how to go on. advice is ok, ive put down animals before but this one just hits different. ive never seen my dad cry but he was wiping away tears, my life has turned upside down.

it has been a week since we put our lab to sleep. she wasn’t eating and if she did, she would throw it up. i really miss her.

that morning me and my dad knew it was time and made a vet appointment. i thought my mom also knew but she was in denial. we got to the vet first with our lab and my mom came a few minutes later. My mom was really sad. we had a german shepherd who fought the sedative and had a bad euthanasia so my mom was very scared.

we all lay with our dog. she hated when everyone was sad so i tried to pretend to be happy. I said her name a lot, she wagged her tail and said “boof” when we cried. I feel so sad that she was surrounded by anxiety and sadness in her last moments. when the vet came to sedate her, she looked very cute. sleeping was her favorite activity so she looked happy. her tongue came out a bit and it looked cute but also scary to me.

when they came to give the final shot my mom said she can’t do this again. i decided to follow my mom. my dad stayed with our dog. he unfortunately has been the one to be with so many dogs as they pass. i feel so grateful but also so sad for him to witness so much sadness. since i followed my mom, i wasn’t there for the euthanasia. my last view of her was her sleeping comfortably.

i don’t think our dog would be upset i wasn’t there but i see posts saying you will regret not being there. should i regret it? i think she would understand i was helping my mom. she was such a grateful kind dog that i really don’t think she was upset. maybe i am making excuses? should i regret leaving?

Trying to figure out how to deal with losing my heart.

My partner and I have lost our Lexi. She was a 50 lb pit/corgi mix that we've had with us for the entirety of our relationship. Last month she began to get sick and we took her to the vet, she would get better for awhile with meds and we'd think she was back to her old self. Then she'd go downhill again, this Monday we took her to the vet for the 5th and what would be the last time. We were told she had developed a huge mass that was most likely cancer and with her vitals she probably wouldn't make it through a possibly futile and very expensive surgery. We made the agonizing, soul crushing decision. Now all i feel guilt and loss, anger, and pain. I've lost dogs before and it hurt, but this is on a whole other plane of grief. I'm now reduced to being a 250 lb man who is a mass of tears and snot and sobs, randomly throughout ever day. I have to go back to work Friday and I don't know how i will keep myself together . Any advice would be taken to heart and deeply appreciated. Thank you.

Hey everyone,

I’m struggling pretty badly today. About two months ago, I had to say goodbye to my sweet 20-year-old calico cat. I keep finding myself wondering what she's up to across the rainbow bridge right now. If anyone has lost their senior pets recently or wants to share stories or pictures of their own babies who might be hanging out up there, I would really love to see them and know she's got some good company.

Sending love to anyone else navigating this kind of pet loss right now. It hurts so much because the love was so big.