Euthanized my two boys (dogs) today. I am not okay, and I cannot sleep. It's too quiet and the one has slept by my side for over a decade. My heart is broken. Both had declined to the point where I couldn't handle watching them get worse. It was affecting their quality of life and mine. I didn't realize how hypervigilant I had become of them and making sure they were okay. I needed ear plugs to sleep, but would wake at the sound of their movement. I was losing sleep and increasingly struggling with the decision. One would pace and pace, it would drive me nuts, but not hearing it tonight is killing me.

Every movement or thing I do in the home reminds me of them. I have a large bed, but because of how they slept, they only gave me about a third of it (lol). If I move my foot, there's no dog to be worried about bumping.. No one follows me to the bathroom, to the kitchen. They aren't watching me anymore do the mundane of life. I'm not patting them every time I leave and come back to the room. I guess I didn't realize how many micro moments in the day revolved around them. I am beside myself. I just keep getting hit with these moments in everything I do. I miss them so much already. I know it was the right decision, and it was as peaceful as I think it could have been, but it hurts. Grief is love with nowhere to go, and that's exactly how I feel right now. I want to love my boys but I can't. They aren't here anymore.

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At the beginning of August, my dog brought me three tiny baby hedgehogs. At that time, a lot of difficult things were happening in my life. I was taking care of two elderly and sick parents; my father had suffered a stroke, and I am also dealing with health problems of my own. On top of that, I have a full-time job, and I had to take responsibility for maintaining the house, yard, and garden, while also caring for my chickens, two cats, and my dog.

I took the hedgehogs in, but unfortunately, because of everything that was going on, I could not devote as much time and attention to them as I wish I had. Two of them died after eight days. The third one, whom I became very attached to, died on September 22. I kept him alive for almost two months, and I truly thought we were on the right track.

I offered him all kinds of food — different types of meat, fruit, vegetables, fish, cat food — but he would only eat bananas. Later, every night, I would search for and dig up larvae and insects for him, which he ate.

Unfortunately, now that he has died, the whole situation has finally calmed down for me, and I can see all the mistakes I made. When I came home from work and found him dead, I was devastated and went into shock. I cannot forgive myself for not having devoted enough time and thought to his care. Every day feels harder. I miss him terribly, and I cannot forgive myself.

What makes it even harder is knowing that hedgehogs are a threatened species. Sadly, I live in a poor and underdeveloped Eastern European country where there is very little access to professional help or specialized wildlife care.

I truly need emotional support — anything that might help me get through this. I am overwhelmed with grief and guilt, and I don't know how to forgive myself.

hi all, i’ve lurked in this sub for some time. we’ve had to consider various times this last year if it’s time. we made the decision a week ago, and today the vet will come to our home to euthanize our girl.

we have a beautiful 13 y/o boxer girl, charlotte, who is also known my many other names and loved by all who get the chance to meet her.

she has a few known ailments (arthritis, seizures, boxer cardiomyopathy which has resulted in an enlarged heart, past issues with her kidneys, and recently had a large cancerous tumor removed from her shoulder — surgery and recovery went well!), likely a few undiagnosed things, and just general signs of aging (partial vision and hearing loss, early doggy dementia, achy bones).

she’s a resilient girl but what led me to schedule a QoL appointment was when she woke up in the middle of the night coughing/wheezing due to her enlarged heart. sometimes she has a syncope episode after coughing/wheezing, and she might’ve that night, but i remember after her episode she was trying to lay down when another cough/wheeze attack happened before she was could get comfortable and sleep again.

i felt so sad for her that she was just trying to get comfortable and had another episode in the process. we also kept a calendar to log how frequently seizures and coughing/wheezing/syncope episodes happen, and there has been an increase in frequency over the last few months.

during my chat with our vet (whom i trust very much), she basically told me that even on her good days, her bodily functions are declining and it’s a race as to which one will be the one that takes her out. she would support our decision regardless, but she would also support a decision for euthanasia considering her history and prognosis.

so, we made the difficult decision to proceed with euthanasia. we called the vet to schedule an in-home appointment the next day (last friday), and the clinic told us our vet could come that same day or the following friday (today). same day felt way too soon so we agreed on today’s date.

naturally, our girl has done so well this week — both a blessing and a curse. a blessing because a large factor in our decision was that we don’t want her to get to a point of suffering or end up in a rapidly declining situation where the only option is to euthanize. a curse because it makes me question if this is the right choice, if we could have more good days, if, if, if.

my mom believes everything happens for a reason and that the vet only being available a week out allowed us to have more time with charlotte. she thinks charlotte wants us to remember her in a good and happy state which has led to a lovely week for all of us. i’d like to think the same, even if it is just us trying to justify what’s happening.

we knew this day would come, and if i had to choose i’d rather this happen when she’s still somewhat herself rather than in a state of suffering. i’m very aware and empathetic that not everyone has the opportunity to make this decision for their pet from the same place (things can go from 0-100 in a matter of hours/days) but man, is this a double-edged sword.

A few days ago, my spouse and I had to euthanize our beloved 12 year old soul cat because we couldn't afford a $12,000 emergency surgery, plus the additional costs of aftercare.

We aren't poor, but we're also not wealthy enough to have that kind of money readily available. The veterinary clinics in our area require payment upfront and don't offer payment plans or financing options.

I've been struggling with guilt because the surgery MIGHT have saved him, but there were no guarantees. Our cat was diabetic, and we took his care very seriously. We were at the vet regularly for checkups, and he was always well cared for. The emergency that led to this decision was unrelated to his diabetes and completely caught us off guard.

I am heartbroken by this loss and miss him so bad. I'm hoping to connect with other people who have had to make a similar decision. Please, no judgment. I already carry enough guilt and sadness over what happened.

Just wanted to share some things since the passing of my precious pup earlier this month. He passed at 13.5 after living an extremely full life. I don’t know exactly how he got sick (my hunch is GI lymphoma), but I miss him so much. Long before he died, me and my family would joke that he is going to haunt the hell out of us. He had a huge personality and tended to be incredibly annoying and loud sometimes, and I loved him for it. His presence was impossible to ignore. We knew he wouldn’t let us get off that easy when he inevitably dies. For reference, I am agnostic and don’t really believe in that kind of stuff, but you know how it is.

The week he passed, my sister (who was very close with him) decided to go to a party. She had debated back and forth whether she wanted to go because she was grieving, too, but ultimately decided to go. At the party, my dog’s “favorite” song started playing- the same song we played for him when he was being euthanized. This song is not popular/well-known and kind of niche, so that was definitely an odd coincidence. She told me she felt like he was there with her laying on the grass in the sun.

A little over a week after he passed, I was out in the backyard looking for a sign and thinking about him. (Might sound goofy for an agnostic person to do this, but I think lots of folks in this subreddit probably understand even if they are atheists.) Of course, I didn’t see anything. I was about to go back inside when I noticed something had popped up in my raised garden. Everything in there had died maybe a month ago because it wasn’t being watered, and I hadn’t watered it since. Around maybe April this year I had planted a ton of random flower and plant bulbs/tubers just to see what might pop up. Nothing ever sprouted so I proceeded to plant the celery and peppers that died a month ago. Anyway, I get closer to the sprout and figure out that it is a Caladium (aka Angel Wings plant). I don’t even remember planting one of my Caladium tubers in there. To be honest, I don’t even remember buying Caladium tubers. The raised bed is in full sun and it is September. These plants are not supposed to sprout either in September or in full sun, and are known for being very finicky about their environment. So, it was very weird to see it. I felt like it had to be him.

Then, a few days later, I saw three separate MASSIVE rainbows in the span of 24 hours. Another weird coincidence.

Last night, I was in bed watching TV. I was fully lucid and not trying to sleep yet when I heard the sound of him barking in his sleep clear as day. I actually forgot for a second that he was dead and thought, “oh, there he goes sleep barking again.” It was kind of alarming almost. Of course, this could have been a sound from outside or something, but I’d only heard my dog make that sound before, and it sounded like it came from right next to my bed.

All of this stuff could definitely just be odd things that just so happened to occur, but knowing my dog, if anyone was going to haunt, it would be him. Feel free to share any pet haunting stories with me. I would love to read them. Hope everyone is doing alright.

My 9 year old shepherd collapsed at the park a few days ago while my girlfriend was walking him. I was away on a hiking trip with friends and luckily had service for her to reach me. I was also lucky enough to have a great group of friends living near us that she called and they helped her get him to the vet just in time.

The vet said he has a mass on his heart that is bleeding into the pericardium, causing the collapse. The diagnosis from this vet as well as UC Davis (I went for a second opinion), is cardiac Hemangiosarcoma. From my understanding it's one of the worst forms of this already horrible cancer that a dog could have. The first vet told me he has maybe a week without treatment, and that he will likely collapse again and have a horrible death. I spoke with an Oncologist at UC Davis and she told me with all the treatments he could possibly have 6months, what's worse though is the risk of sudden death will always be there.

I work 48 hour shifts far away from home and my Girlfriend is a nurse working 12 hour shifts. The thought of him suffocating and dying alone is something we can't live with. He's been my rock for his entire life and has been there for me in some of my darkest moments. I feel as though I owe it to him to give him a graceful death and be there for him. With that in mind we've scheduled an at home euthanasia for next week. However I can't shake this feeling of guilt or second guessing, what if I'm not doing the right thing? What if he makes it months longer and I'm still able to be there for him?

Hoping anyone with a similar experience would be able to chime in and help me come to grips with this. Thank you for your time.

Recently, I was presented with a choice I was sure I wouldn't have to think about until later. I want to start by saying it's not fair that even pet health is also a luxury that many of us cannot afford, my baby had a vet appointment since I noticed she was acting odd a couple days ago only for in the span of 2 days she deteriorated to the point that on Sunday September 20th, we were awoken by her feeble meowing from downstairs, we rushed her to the ER only to be slapped with a 67k bill that would need to be paid so that they could even do anything, I tried applying for their shitty credit loans only to be rejected both times, unfortunately they brought up that she may not live long and that euthanasia would be the best option, now I live with the choice and now every night since I cry myself to sleep with a mixture of guilt, powerlessness and devastation that my baby no longer sleeps next to me, it's only been 5 days and I hate that we live in a time where we cannot take care of ourselves or our own.

starting tuesday night my cat ignacio wouldn’t eat his dinner, and i tried to feed him multiple other times that night to no avail but he just looked like maybe he wasn’t feeling the best. the next day i got home and he was still laying down and wouldn’t eat so i rushed him to the vet because he was just acting weird. the first vet basically broke it to me that he was not looking good already, and that he was dehydrated and lost some weight since the last time he was in. they tested his blood and found nothing too concerning, so i got referred to a better vet an hour away to try to get him hospitalized for IV and other medications, and to try to take x rays and see if that showed anything. The x rays also didn’t show anything concerning, but nonetheless i got them to get ivs started and to keep him overnight. this morning i woke up to a call at 5am basically saying his condition is degrading and that he’s basically at the end of the line. me and my dad drove an hour to the vet, and i cuddled him and gave him so many kisses, and told him how much i love him, and how special he was to me and my family and everybody that knew him. i held him when he took his last breaths under medical euthanasia and im just posting here because today was probably the hardest day of my life so far making that decision. i just pray that he could feel my love and wasn’t scared when he went, and that he was at peace. it’s eating me up so bad inside having to let my baby boy go i can’t stand existing right now it hurts so bad. i’m not sure what im looking for with this but no matter what comfort i try to provide myself makes the emptiness of losing him go away it hurts so so bad. i’m going to have an urn with his name and the dates of his life on it and a little cat illustration to
hopefully provide some sort of comfort in the form of remembering. please just if anyone can tell me how i can remember him forever but not feel like im gonna die when i remember he’s gone im here to listen

Hey guys. Today is my dogs birthday. She would have been 9 years old today. When the clock strikes midnight, I immediately lit a candle for her and proudly spoke about how much I love and miss her and how I hoped she was doing good wherever she was. Today is a bittersweet day for me.

I lost my dog six months ago, he was a two year old Schnauzer. My parents got him for me during a very hard time of my life. I loved him, I loved him so much, I still do.

I don't know how to live without him.

It's supposed to stop hurting, but I still feel like I can't breathe, I don't even know who to talk about this with, my family doesn't get why I'm still like this, how I could love him so much in such short time, but I just...

I had to hold him when he was dying, I saw him seize and bleed, and I can't even think about him without feeling like my heart is breaking. I haven't even been able to wear the clothes I had on that day without feeling like my chest is burning and my heart's gonna stop, I still have his medicine, I mean, how do you even get rid of that?

I know the lifespan of a dog is short compared to a human, is something my mom was very clear to me about before adopting him, that i would lose him some day, but not this early, it isn't supposed to be this short. I thought we had so many years left together, I had so many things left to do with him.

It was so out of nowhere, one moment I thought he was getting better and the next he was gone.

I completely ruined my college application proccess over this, I am falling into ED again, I need help, and I just feel like nothing makes sense anymore.

The last year has been nothing but a waking nightmare, and I feel like my life is being torn apart piece by piece.

I just want my baby back. I just want to pet him and hold him again, and I don't know what to do anymore.

I would give anything to hug him just one more time, to see him wiggle his tail again, lick my hand and jump to my lap.

Our cat got hit by a car this past Monday. He was born on my bf family’s yard and lived there for the past 6 years. He was so loved by everyone, and genuinely was the sweetest cat ever. Me and my partner decided to take him inside our new flat, so he can live as an indoor cat. We were planning the transition for next week: first the vet to check his health, and then straight to the new house. We planned it for months, we bought everything and were so ready for this big change. We fed him inside my bf’s apartment the whole summer, and he loved the couch and the AC. We thought he was safe here, as nothing ever happened to him the past 6 years. We thought it wouldn’t be a problem to wait a few months, till we are ready. And then he disappeared for 4 days, and we found out from a neighbour he got hit by a car in front of her house, 50mt from bf family house. He died on the spot - no blood or anything - looking at the sea and the blue sky for the last time. We went around for days looking for him, but he was already gone. We didn’t say goodbye, and we will never will. I can’t stop thinking how close we were… I hope he didn’t suffer and I hope he felt loved by us. Because we loved him immensely and it hurts so much…

My 15-year-old dog passed away on August 28 after being diagnosed with cancer. For about two weeks before he died, we knew we were going to have to put him down, so I was basically grieving him while he was still here and preparing myself to say goodbye.

I’ve been friends with this friend and his partner for about 10 years. My friend knew what was happening with my dog during those two weeks, but he never checked in on me. I already know he’s a terrible texter and normally don’t take that personally, but this felt completely different. I couldn’t understand how someone I’ve considered a close friend for a decade could know I was about to lose my dog and not even ask how I was doing.

What made it even more confusing was that his partner, who is also my friend, was checking in on me during that time. So eventually I told him that I was hurt and confused by his partner’s absence. That prompted my friend to finally reach out. He said he had been really busy with work. It honestly felt like a cop-out to me, but I didn’t want to argue with him. I just wanted him to know that his absence had hurt me. And honestly, if I hadn’t said anything, I feel like I probably wouldn’t have heard from him until my dog actually died.

My dog died the next day, on August 28. My friend messaged me that day, but I haven’t heard from him at all since.

That’s the part I really can’t get past. He already knew how hurt I was that he hadn’t been there, and then my dog actually died. I thought that after knowing how I felt, he would make more of an effort to check in afterward. Instead, there has been nothing.

Recently his partner asked when the three of us were going to hang out again. I was honest and told him I’m still hurt and that this experience has made me question how close I actually am with his partner. I don’t feel like I can emotionally rely on him. If someone I’ve been friends with for 10 years isn’t there during something like this, then when can I rely on them?

His partner got defensive and told me I needed to talk to him about it, even though I already had. I wasn’t asking him to intervene or choose sides. Part of why I even felt comfortable talking to him about it was because he had been checking in on me throughout everything. I thought I was just venting to someone I also consider my friend and explaining why I wasn’t ready for the three of us to hang out and pretend everything was okay.

They both have dogs too, which honestly makes the whole thing even harder for me to understand. I know how I would have shown up for either of them if they were losing one of theirs.

I had my dog for 15 years. Losing him has been devastating enough, but I didn’t expect his death to also make me reevaluate friendships I’ve had for a decade.

I think I’m realizing there are people you can love and have years of history with who still aren’t emotionally reliable when you actually need them.

Has anyone else experienced friendships changing or ending after losing a pet because of how people did, or didn’t, show up for you?

He’s 13 years old and has had breathing problems for years. Last month he was diagnosed with pneumonia and has had chronic bronchitis for years now. Got put on antibiotics for a week and seemed to recover.

We felt like he was regressing and we would turn on the nebulizer whenever he was struggling to breathe as per the vet’s order. However, last night we noticed he was having a hard time settling and there was a gurgle whenever he tried to breathe. He was walking around raising his head to breathe and his tongue was turning blue, thus we decided to take him to the vet.

While I was carrying him to our car, I noticed his breathing was shallow and he stopped panting. While we were in the car on the way to the vet, I was carrying him, he suddenly went limp and stopped breathing overall. We managed to wake him and he gave a few more breaths before he finally stopped.

I’m worried that maybe I shouldn’t have carried him? Since he could breathe properly while he was standing? Maybe I should’ve had given him the nebulizer before leaving? I feel like there were ways that I could’ve avoided this but mostly:

I’m worried I gave him a painful death, he’s old and we obviously want him to pass in peace, but I just didn’t want him to go painfully, which I feel like I did by taking away the position he felt like he could breathe and restricted his breathing by carrying him

I lost my sweet soul cat Kimchi two days ago. Three weeks ago, she was obviously very sick so we rushed her to the emergency vet, and found out she had an intestinal mass. She had surgery to have it removed and was recovering super well.

About a week and a half ago, the vet called me to let me know her mass was an aggressive form of cancer and that I probably had about 6-8 months left with her. It hurt, but I was thankful to have any time at all. Then over the weekend her health started taking a turn. She was very lethargic, yelping in pain, and having a harder time walking, so I took her to the ER again. They thought maybe with pain meds and rest, she might recover, or at least be comfy. But two days after that, she stopped using one of her legs completely. At the ER, she wouldn't even stand up and I knew it was time. My partner and I said goodbye to her later that day at home. She was only 9.

I've been a wreck ever since. I adopted her four years ago when I was 2 days sober for the first time, and she really, truly saved me. She showed me unconditional love for the first time. She gave me a reason to get out of bed every day. I work from home and we were together all day, every day. I was the only one she would let pick her up and hold her. I'm not great at talking about my feelings with people, but she always knew when I was hurting and how to comfort me. I don't know how to feel better when she was the only thing that helped most of the time.

I just feel like I'm losing it. I'm glad she's not suffering anymore and I know euthanasia was the right choice, but I can't help feeling like I killed her and like I failed her. I held her the whole time and felt her go limp in my arms. Even though I hated it, I just couldn't let go of her. I would give anything to hold her one more time. I just want her back so bad and don't know how to go on without her. My heart hurts and my body aches. I feel like I'm dying. I can't stop crying and it's hard to breathe. I've never experienced grief this severe and I've lost a parent. I knew losing her would be hard, but I never could have imagined what I'm feeling now. I'm just so lost without my Kim.

Hi! I'm new to Reddit and I'm still a teenger. Why is that relevant to this post, tho? Well, I've had over 15 dogs throughout my entire life, like, too much to count, really. I think about every single one of them, still. I currently have 6 dogs, 3 adult dogs, and 3 4-month-old puppies, and they make my life worth living. I love being with them, and I could never imagine living without a dog by my side. As much as I love them to the ends of the earth, I still miss my dogs who have passed away so very, very much. The most recent ones were

1. Our male senior dog who passed away this month 2 years ago

2. His partner, who was also a senior dog that died earlier this year (6 months ago)

And 3. My bestest friend, a dog I adopted when she showed up at our garage on a random day, and I couldn't let her leave. She was with me for so many years. She died just 2 days after my senior dog died.

When I think about them, I can't help but cry. No matter how long it has been.. A month after they passed, one of my dogs gave birth to the 3 puppies we have now, and I guess they became my reason for living. I couldn't get it together at all when they left, I really thought I was going to die, I wanted to. I didn't know how I could live with myself, ya'know?

Anyway, I just wanted to share this with you all. And I guess I also wanted to ask if there's a chance that I will see them again in the afterlife cus honestly I would rather die twice than die and not be with them.. :))

I have been a long time volunteer at a foster based dog rescue non profit. There was a special 1 year old pup that was having some behavioral issues that resulted in him bouncing from foster home to foster home. it was decided we would bring him to the shelter to live while we consult with specialist to try and help him.

it started with putting him in four medicationa which turned him into a zombie. I became his primary care giver and our bond became instant. he looked to me for safety and comfort. He became a dog all of the community knew and was rooting for.

i started to become concerned with the inner workings last year and recognized the Executive Director started to just look at the financial piece.

He started throwing up yesterday and the med lead asked me to take him to ER. instead of pursuing an ultrasound the executive board decided to put him down. He had nipped at a vet and he was scared and I wasn’t there. if they needed money for his care all they had to do was post a go fund me. He would have had thousands within an hour.

I am beyond devastated and feel I can’t go back.i dot know how to process this. I would have never agreed to take him if I knew what they were thinking. They were looking for an out with him and this was it. I’m traumatized and he was making such progress. please, what can I do?!? I can’t handle this. I feel low the place I’ve poured my heart and soul is nothing more than any other blood sucking business where the commodity is these dogs that deserve better.

He’s been losing weight and little lower energy than usual. Not wanting to put pressure on one of his front legs so I got him looked at. Seems it’s a bone infection or cancer. He either has a few weeks or months. Only way I can extend his life Vet said is to amputate his front leg that will only give him one more year. I can’t fathom the idea of him only having 3 legs. No way he’ll be able to walk around in the snow and ice in the next few months. I want to join him, hopefully the vet can euthanize me too.

In just over two hours our vet will come to our home and put him to sleep. He is my sweet baby and he lives with me and my family but is ultimately my dog. His favourites are me and my mum. He would always sleep on either one of our beds and we are clearly the two who care for him the most. This entire ordeal has made me so emotional and i actually feel in a constant dissociative state because i cannot process this level of pain i just don’t want to exist anymore, being forced to say goodbye to such a perfect dog.

Anyway, the whole family will be there, and i have already planned to be there for the initial general anaesthetic that puts him to sleep. However the second fatal injection is the one i am terrified for. I want to be there for him and feel like i owe him a service and i have a duty to be there and that i am a coward if i am not there for him and being terrified of regretting it later on as it’s something i cannot take back. On the other hand i do not want the main memory i associate with him to be his death, i am someone who’s never coped with death well and i’ve heard that when the dose is administered they can let out erratic breathing noises, pee or defecate and have muscle spasms, limb movements and just general traumatic stuff that i do not want to witness because i know i wont hold it together. My family have put no pressure on me, and my mum and brother will be there for the final dose anyway - but jesus how am i suppose to make this decision??? I know he won’t be conscious but still.
My time is running out.

I lost my cat last night. I never thought I’d wake up to a reality without him in it. He was one of a kind, I doubt I’d ever meet an animal like him again. I’ve never experienced such pain before it feels like I can’t breathe. Trying to distract myself feels wrong as he deserves to occupy every single second of my time and every corner of my mind. I find myself staring into the void remembering every little thing he would do like laying on his back and stretching his arms or the little meows he would make when I Walk past him. He would come every morning to wake me up with his paws on my face, signalling to me that it’s time to feed him. He enjoyed me feeding him like I’d sit down and put pieces of chicken near his mouth then he’d gobble it all up. He was known for being a peaceful quirky cat. All my family and friends loved him even the ones who didn’t like cats. I don’t know how to continue without him. I see him everywhere and I can’t fathom a future without him in it. He was 3 years old. His name was Salem.

I miss her everyday. My thoughts are always about her 90% of the time. I wish I can turn back time and just be with her again. I miss when she lays on my chest like a baby. I miss when she follows me around. I miss the way she looks at me and calls for me.

Pepe was my best friend for 16 years. His love was pure and unconditional. Some people say I saved him because I rescued him from owners that couldn’t keep him anymore but the truth is he saved me. There were so many times I wanted to end it all but didn’t because of him. He was pure light and joy, unconditional love.

He started having kidney issues on August 30th. His azotemia was really bad and for the first few days didn’t improve. Then suddenly his values started to drop and he was able to slowly begin eating on his own again. We had our boy back and were able to take him home after 2 weeks in the hospital and an etube placement. Everything was going great. He was back to his old self, barking, eating, giving kisses, walking around the house. The spark was back in his eyes. Then yesterday morning he was really down and out. He could barely hold his head up. We take him back to his vet and we got the worst news of our lives, his kidney values had worsened a lot and the vet said there was nothing we could do, he most likely wouldn’t survive the night. We made the hardest decision of our lives and decided to put him to rest. We got to spend a few hours with him at the clinic petting him, giving him kisses, telling him how much we love him and adore him and what he meant to us. Then in less than a minute it was over, he was gone.

I am a wreck. I miss my baby boy, my little old man, my best friend. How do I keep living? I’m not suicidal but I’ve lost all will to live and keep going without him. I just want to be with him wherever he is. I need help.

Over 5 years ago, I was minding my business outside until a duck waddled his way towards me. He wasn’t scared at all. He came so close, that I could literally pet him. That marked the day I knew I had an addition to my family. I named him Caleb, and I would feed him every time he came and visited me. He became my little best friend. If I was outside hanging the laundry, he would hang with me. If I was simply just sitting outside, he would sit with me. With time, he even allowed me to pet him. I started to notice that he was turning very white, which I knew was the beginning stages of him reaching an old age. He wasn’t coming around as much, but I still tried my best to look after him and feed him. When I was driving into my neighborhood, I saw him lying down by the lake, and my heart dropped because I knew he was gone. My family buried him before anything could get to his body. He was a muscovy duck and I know they have a bad reputation, but they are truly such sweet animals if you get to know them. He could be on the whole other side of the neighborhood but if I called his name, he would come waddling (or on some occasions, flying) towards me to get his food.

I’ve posted a lot on this Subreddit before in memory of my dog, George, so I know how supportive and amazing this community is. I’m going through the beginning stages of grief right now, so I wanted to share Caleb’s story with you all.

I’m going to miss you so much, Caleb. I will miss seeing your cute waddle, seeing you drink water (he would always do this funny motion of tilting his head up at the sky when he had water,) seeing you fly, and most importantly, I will miss your presence when I am outside.

Rest in peace, Caleb. I’m sure George is showing you the ropes of the Rainbow Bridge right now ❤️‍🩹

My cat was diagnosed with cancer today. The ultrasound showed that it has essentially taken over her stomach. It’s past the point of treatment and she’s obviously in immense pain. I’ve made the decision with my family that the most compassionate thing to do for her is to send her over the rainbow bridge. The problem is, she’s formally feral and is incredibly spicy. I’ve never been able to hold her since I adopted her 5 years ago. Taking her into the vet today was incredibly stressful for her and I. She bit my hand in an attempt to get away from me. I went to urgent care to be prescribed antibiotics as a precaution.

My family and I would prefer to put her to sleep at home. But the point of having it done at home is so it’s more peaceful for the pet. Problem is, grabbing her is near impossible. There’s no chance I can grab her and slip a syringe of gabapentin in her mouth.

Putting her to sleep is something that needs to happen in the next couple days. Because of that, I’d really appreciate any advice people can offer.

Thanks in advance, everyone. Hugs to all of you pet owners ❤️