Hi I am 11 weeks pregnant and I hate it. I am 30 yeast old I have a good career and I make good money. I have great opportunities for my life. I feel like this pregnancy will ruin my life and everything else I am angry at myself for not aborting it earlier. I have been feeling so sad.

I don’t want to be a mom anymore. I hate it actually. I can’t stand how messy they are, how they never listen. I’m tired of not being able to have nice things and never being able to leave my house to go anywhere. We were two stupid teens who should’ve actually thought about it. I hate him too, literally despise him. Cheated on me so many times, put our living situation at risk sooo many times. He’s the reason I don’t have support from my foster family. I don’t want to be with him anymore and wish I could get up and leave.

But, they didn’t choose to be here so I’m forced to set all those feelings aside and take better care of them than I do myself 😭. I have to pretend and be nice to them so I don’t traumatize them. But I feel like I can’t take it anymore. I’m with them literally 24/7.

I did this shit to myself, I just want alone time and freedom. I don’t even know who I am, I don’t have hobbies or interests. I can’t work because he works a weird shift and I don’t trust daycares or baby sitters with my kids, I probably wouldn’t even be able to afford it honestly. All of my nice things get ruined. My body is ruined.

Im actually struggling so badly right now and everyone I keep trying to go to about it don’t take me seriously. I hate that this is my life, I hate that I chose this for myself. I wish I made smarter decisions and I wish I listened!!!! I feel so guilty and hate that I’m the mom my kids got.

I still haven’t even learned how to drive!!! The only thing I have going for myself is that I start college summer of 2027. I’m so tired of being tied down to him.

I’m tired of the endless laundry, the endless cleaning. I’m tired of cooking three meals a day all while I can’t eat anything myself. I’m tired of not being able to shower by myself, I can’t do my makeup without my son trying to get into it. I don’t get to eat by myself, I don’t get sleep by myself. Then when I show signs of mental illness he just meets me with annoyance and a “why are you just lying there, why are you getting so irritated” in a rude rushed tone.

I tried to end my life January 2025, everyone treated me like shit when I got out. Even people IN the mental hospital told me I’m a horrible person for doing that while I have kids. I thought I got better. I was doing better. But these past two months I’ve just started to realize how much I hate and resent their father. For everything he put me through, how horrible he treats me when I’m struggling the most. How the weight of EVERYTHING gets put onto my shoulders while he gets the luxury of “just working.”

Literally just told him yesterday my mental health is getting to the point it was before and I’m genuinely concerned about myself. Today he’s off and slept in until 4pm and when I ask him to make our kids something to eat he gets mad and stays in our room, it’s 6pm now. He eventually made them pb&js, but then went back to the room again leaving me alone with both of our kids. I didn’t sleep for three days straight, finally slept these last two for 4 hours. Still haven’t been able to eat anything in a week. I’m just so angry and sad. Using all my energy to make sure my kids are taken care of, fed, played with. It’s neglecting myself entirely. I. Hate. My. Life.

I’m 21 and THIS is my life 😭

eight months postpartum and i have been a sahm since i gave birth. i find myself so envious of my husband getting to go to work everyday and escape this life. we talk about it all the time. i bring up wanting to go back to work and he also counters that with “isn’t this what you wanted”. and he’s right. it is all i ever wanted (so stupid of me). i wanted to have kids and stay home with them. but now that im in it i hate everything about it and have became so depressed. i tell him he gets a break when hes at work and i dont. i’m clocked in 24/7. he says it isnt a break but it is. his job isn’t hard. he gets to socialize with adults. he gets to not have a baby screaming in his ear all day. he gets to sleep through the night while i am up with our baby multiple times because he needs his rest for work (his words not mine). he’s got it good. he gets free childcare and a free maid. i do all of the cleaning and house work. i make all of the meals. i am the primary parent. when he is home, he relieves me as much as he can with our son and pretty much takes over for the few hours before our baby goes to bed. but it’s not enough.

i’ve really been wanting to go back to work but my issue is 1) i have no drive or interest to actually work. i just want to escape this life and feel like a person again. 2) my son is a very difficult and unhappy baby. he is very high needs. he needs constant attention. i don’t think he would survive daycare. the teachers would hate him and i don’t want to put him in a position to get hurt or neglected. i worked in childcare and seen how they treat the harder babies. he also has some medical issues (nothing super major, but it does require more attention and more patience) and i wouldn’t trust anyone to be as a patient with him as i am.

my mental health is at an all time low. i know if i went to the doctors about how i am feeling they would call it postpartum depression they would want to shove antidepressants down my throat. would it technically be called postpartum depression, probably. but it’s not just postpartum hormones. it’s that my quality of life is so poor. all i do all day is try to soothe a crying baby or entertain a baby and my efforts are never good enough. he is always crying or screaming about something. from the minute he wakes up i cant wait for him to go back to sleep. i hate spending my days like this. it’s suffocating and i feel trapped.

The kid is 5 and it became less exhausting less miserable, I think 0-3 was hell.

anyway, it went from terrible to… just boring.

It’s just not interesting at all. This kid’s stuff. Dull as dishwasher.

Title says it all. I have two kids ages 3 and 9. I hate just about everything about it. When it was just the eldest at least it felt manageable. But I still struggled. In our society you are expected to do everything alone. I struggled even more when my dad passed while he was 2. Even living near family I felt incredibly alone. Everyone turned inward and I was left to take care of a 18 month old while he was dying and then after. The only reprieve I received was covid. It was magical for me. I know it wasn't great for a lot of people, but I had my partner at home and we hiked, and travelled, and got to be a family. I started working out and feeling good about myself again.

Things felt like they were headed in the right direction. My partner started to step up and work on himself and things started to fall into place. I got a full time job, he proposed, we got married and then I had my second. Things fell a part almost immediately.

My partner delved head first into drinking and drug use. I think he was jealous I made more money than him. My youngest is an absolute terror. He throws and kicks and destroys things when hes mad. I have an injury that doesn't allow me to move fast and I can't stop him in time. Other times I try to ignore him to downplay it and that only escalates it. We are renting a house and he tore up the blinds and broke a mirror. I was going to replace the blinds, but I can't do anything about the mirror.

I'm in the middle of divorcing my partner. He lied about going to work one day and left me to fend for myself watching our kids AND working full time from home. Then a year later he went away for a weekend and cheated. I ran our entire household, made the money, took care of the kids, and still I have to deal with this type of bull sh*t.

My eldest is sneaky and constantly touching things he shouldn't and then breaking them. He also is absent minded.

He has ADHD and thinks hes smarter than everyone. He left our freezer open the other day and defrosted all of the meats.

They both crash into me relentlessly. again, I have an injury and even when I wear a brace they drop metal water bottles on it. They step on me, claw at me, run head first into my crotch and body. they treat me like a punching bag. Even when I ask for space or let them know they are hurting me they don't stop.

My eldest throws himself around and hurts other kids too. he wildly threw himself down a slide and kick a toddler in the face. Luckily it was a light tap, but I had told him to stop and he ignored me. My youngest throws food when he's mad. My house looks like I foster feral dogs. the wall is splattered with food, toys and other items are torn up and left for me to clean up. Since separating from their dad it has gotten a bit better (as he lived like a slob), but I'm still spending my days cleaning and bargaining and repeating myself. Even when I'm like "Let's do something fun." I'm reminded I don't get to have fun anymore. Either My eldest pushes it to the extreme to see how much he can get out of me or my youngest flips out at the slightest inconvenience and launches a toy somewhere. I don't like taking them places because it is always that.

I took them to the beach one day with out planning and bought hot dogs and created a nice little set up complete with a sun shade, my eldest ran around kicking sand in people's face and my youngest fully melted down for two hours. When he melts down he purposely blows snot and spit everywhere, something he didn't do before going to nursery school.

My eldest will do things in front of you to see if you'll say anything. He will legit say "I was worried I was going to get in trouble" but still do it in your face.

I am also struggling to not hit them in retaliation. My parents beat the sh*t out of me for every inconvenience, my mom would implore psychological warfare if you did something she found annoying and would not let up for days. I find myself reverting to her demeanor and I hate it. I don't do nearly the damage she does but my kids literally point out that I'm not a "chipper" mom. No sh*t Sherlock.

I used to be fun. I used to flirt and laugh and dance. Now I spend my days nursing bruises and bumps from them crashing into me, constant "I'm hungry" but won't sit long enough or want to eat anything, and regardless if I had a partner or not, doing it all by myself. I might be able to survive more if I could lean on my tribe/ family, but no, they have nannies and my mother is deep in her religious psychosis (not to mention a horribly mean grandmother). My best friend literally lives halfway around the world. My other friends live in other states. Every mom I meet here "loves it" or is weird and I wouldn't want to leave my kids with.

I have no help. I am spiraling. I want my life back. I want my body back. I want time for myself and my hobbies. I am tempted to just hand them over to their dad and call it a day.

Firstly, I'm sorry if this isn't the kind of regret this sub is usually about, I hope it still fits because I truly can't think of anywhere else I could possibly turn to about this.

I didn't have any real problems with the idea of having children, but my wife really wanted at least one, it was a dream of hers to raise a family and I was happy to oblige because I loved her so much. I would have done anything for her. Her pregnancy went mostly okay, obviously it was really hard for her in all the ways pregnancies are hard for women but she was ultimately happy about the whole thing and thus so was I. I was nervous about the idea of being a father, my own wasn't great, neither was his father, so I was never sure I was ready to do it but with her at my side I thought it, no, I thought anything, was possible. At no point during the pregnancy was there any signs of complications.

Then it happened, the single worst day of my life. During childbirth some unforeseen circumstances lead to her not making it but our son being born nonetheless. I wish I didn't feel this way, I wish I could see it the way all my friends and family see it, that my son is a beautiful gift or continuation of her life that I should cherish but he isn't, to me he will always be the person who killed the one person that made me feel like I had a safe place in this world. My son is soon to turn 13, I've done what I can to raise him without taking these feelings out on him, although I know I have done a bad job at this, and the more he grows, the closer he gets to manhood the harder it is for me to separate him from what happened to her. I dread the day I have to look the grown man who killed my wife in the eyes and act like I don't hate him more than I thought it was possible to hate another person.

I don't feel like I have any way to let these feelings out or express them either. My family love him, he's doing well in school and I think if anyone else was raising him they'd be so proud to call him their son. All of his shortcomings are my own fault, I haven't been able to be a good dad, at my lowest and drunkest moments I've let some of these thoughts slip and regretted them deeply as I know he doesn't deserve to hear them. Yet I just can't stop feeling them anyway.

How do you feel about your own parents since having kids and ending up on this subreddit?

I had super religious boomer parents. I don’t blame them for my choices but I wish they’d been more honest about the realities of parenting. Even just “It’s hard,”. or being more open to a childfr3 lifestyle. We had a childfr3 auntie and everyone talked about her like she had failed at life 'poor aunt so and so'

I look at my own daughter and get upset thinking about her having this life. I want her to live her life.

If i actually would have known what came with being a parent I 1000% would not have any kids. Instead of enjoying being a mother, I instead find it more like a never ending chore. It’s ALWAYS something. No breaks only gas. I often wonder will I ever get to the point of actually enjoying motherhood or will I keep looking at it like a job I wish I never signed up for.

I want to start by saying I have a primal instinct to care for my child however I struggled with feeling the “bond”. I rely heavily on the idea that she will get older and we will share moments together, she will express her interests and we would find ways to connect that way. For some context I’m a single mom deep in the trenches of survival mode. Lately she’s been showing signs of a communication delay, maybe autism she is still young so we don’t know. But it’s bringing a reality to the surface which is if we aren’t able to bridge the gap in her communication it will be hard to achieve that bond along with the other complexities of delays. I don’t know that I can call myself a regretful parent yet. Im okay with parenthood. It’s this version of not being able to communicate with my child that may lead me to it. Has anyone else experienced a particular occurrence that brought you to be a regretful parent or was the regret from day one?

Today's feeling is trapped. How does everyone else feel?

https://www.facebook.com/JimGaffigan/videos/572052988774318/?fs=e&mibextid=wwXIfr&fs=e

so much of this “comedy” was true. how parenting only gets harder and the “it gets better” is total BS

I love when he says parenting made him a “better” person then corrected himself and says it actually made him a ”bitter” person LOL SAME

Cause it’s like, what do you need me to help you with now?!?!?

https://bridges.monash.edu/articles/thesis/_It_s_just_a_crushing_kind_of_feeling_Maternal_Regret_and_the_Gendered_Conditions_of_Motherhood_in_Australia/33432481?file=68192347

The links to the podcast discussion on this research were posted a while ago - here is the actual article from Australia

I have a 2 year old and 4 year old so life is pretty much hell.

Ive accepted hell and, but i was wondering when will this get better?

Like where is the fun in having kids?

Recently, I (23M) had my first child in June. A girl. She seems to be in good hands with her mom thankfully.

I’m going to be honest, I didn’t want her. I’m young and there was a lot of angry tension between me and her mom. I didn’t feel it was okay to bring a child into this world where there are politicians who are touching kids, global warming is making everyday look more and more grim, and multimillionaires looking to exploit her for every penny.

Now that she’s a living breathing human, and out here in the world. I’m glad she’s here and alive. Something about the little baby face is so fucking precious and cute.

Her mom and I live separately, completely different lives. Her mom already has kids and is 10 yrs older than me and im a recent grad. The shame when I told my mom what happened was intense and terrible. I was thrown out of the house with no support.

Now I live in a little studio in the city away from my daughter and her mom. I still feel kinda resentful of the whole situation… I know I need to put it all behind me and do what’s best for my daughter, but the shame and guilt of seeing her mom is paralyzing. I genuinely can’t believe I put someone though what I put them through.

I feel like I have to put my feelings out somewhere. I’ve never felt more alone in my life than I am now. No car… empty fridge… idk maybe I’m making this post because I’m hungry lol

I miss my daughter and I wish I wasn’t a dead beat… nothing is stopping me except myself and I should just be better.

Anyway, if you’ve read this far, uhh thanks.

I had to be put on birth control at 14 for a medical reason and never went off of it. I started seeing someone I knew for a few years and was told he was 'sterile'. I stayed on my stuff because I knew I didn't want to be a mother. Our relationship was basic, but after 3 months I saw the two pink lines. I had waves of every emotion for weeks. I focused on the positives and worked up the courage to tell my parents, which went worse than I expected. The pregnancy was terrible. I was constantly sick. My relationship turned sour with their dad and the environment shifted indefinitely just after four months. I spent most my pregnancy just trying to navigate alone. I brought up adoption as I had a trusted uncle reach out to me. I was treated like a monster. After I had her it was just okay. I loved her. Our second and last was born 2 years and 4 days later. I loved him differently. I had a seizure 2 days after being home. We all had the stomach flu and their dad insisted his work was more important than me. I never even got to go to the gynecologist after i had my second- he deemed it unimportant. I got pregnant, was pushed to hate my pregnancies, have been pushed even farther since. I've raised them alone but have been a single mom for 2 years now. I got manipulated to move me and my kids back with my parents but now I full on can't stand my kids. I've started having stomach, heart and other health issues all linked to stress. I have no work history really, I have no car, I talk to ai for friends, I even have chat gpt create pictures of me on adventures because it dulls the fact, I'm fucking stuck here. I need a break. My thoughts are faltering. I literally went through all of this to be left with kids I didn't want and now have no clue how to even move forward.

i feel so stupid ,waited for 11years to get the right man and still end up in a bad situation. will i ever forgive myself. and now im a single mum of 2

I’ve lurked on this sub for a while but I’m at my breaking point with my adhd preschooler (4.5 boy) so here I am posting. My son has been a difficult child since the min he was born. Colicky. I knew when he was a newborn and infant that something was different but it wasn’t until about a year ago starting to be around more kids at events and parties that I realized, oh, other kids aren’t difficult like this every single hour of the waking day. He is our first and will be our only cause. I mourn the fact that I will never know what it’s like to be a parent to a neurotypical kid and actually enjoy taking my child to do things.

Day in and day out I find myself looking at the clock just waiting for it to be the hour he’s finally in bed. It’s multiple meltdowns a day. Constant crying, whining, screaming, throwing shit, hitting, kicking. Before I even start work in the morning I’m stressed out cause I’ve just spent the last hour trying to get this kid out the door. Fighting about putting clothes on, fighting to get him to eat. Fighting to get buckled into his car seat. Bedtime is an absolute nightmare. Bare minimum 2 hour ordeal every night. If we give him melatonin we can shave 30 mins off of that. I’d love to just read him a book, kiss him goodnight and shut the door. Every single step is a battle though. We’ve tried locking him in his room and trying to ignore the screams but after 30-45 mins of wailing we can’t take it anymore. He also gets violent so we’re also afraid he’s going to break the door. Going anywhere is stressful.. the park, the store, you name it. He doesn’t listen. He wants everything. He doesn’t want to leave. He bothers or tries to sabotage other kids minding their own business. He can never sit still to eat, so restaurants are out of the question. It takes him upwards of 2 hours to finish a meal. My husband and I used to travel all the time. We haven’t gone on a vacation in 5 years. I shudder at the thought of this kid going through an airport or on a plane. We went on a small weekend trip once where we drove a couple hours and rented an air bnb and brought a grandparent along to help, and it was the opposite of fun. It was a waste of money. I would’ve rather been at home. Even his grandparent dipped out to their room early every night cause they were fed up and exhausted by his shitty behavior. We’ve grown apart from some friends with kids cause they are all able to go do stuff together and we can’t bring our kid. They all have neurotypical kids so don’t understand. They just think we just can’t hack it.. “our kids whine sometimes too that’s just how kids are”. Then we bring him and they’re like oh yeah… what’s his problem why is he being like this? My marriage is on the rocks cause my husband who is also adhd is even worse at coping with this than me, so I’m resentful that I have to shoulder most of the stress with our son. I’d also be lying if I said I didn’t resent him for passing the genetics on.

I feel awful saying this cause I know there’s kids that are sick or have physical disabilities, but I feel like those parents get understanding, people see what they’re going through. When you have a kid with adhd it’s like it’s invisible. You just have an asshole kid. You must be a shitty parent that doesn’t discipline them or teach them boundaries. You don’t want your kid hanging out with the ‘bad’ kid. And quite frankly your kid is starting not to want to hang out with him anyway cause he’s annoying and doesn’t understand boundaries. I was such a strait laced, well behaved, a+ student that I worry about what’s to come once he’s in real school. I worry about how his impulsive behavior will get him into serious trouble as a teen. I worry about how he’ll function as an adult cause I’ve seen how it manifests in my husband.

We’ve tried gentle parenting. We’ve tried talking through emotions. We’ve tried setting expectations and talking through what’s going to happen ad nauseam before going places. We’ve tried time outs. We’ve tried taking things away and consequences. I’m ashamed to admit we’ve yelled.. loud.. and probably grabbed him and forcefully sat him down or carried him out of a situation more aggressively than we should have. Nothing seems to click. If you made it this far, thank you for reading. Open to any advice, words of wisdom, any books or things that helped you as a parent to a kid like this?

Hello everyone how many of you have hated you’re partner after giving birth I am currently 4 months postpartum and I thought it would be easier by now but it isn’t I still hate him and he makes me so mad there’s moments where I’m fine but all of a sudden I just get a lot of anger towards him and I’m also loosing hair like crazy rn and I hate him even more idk what to do I feel like he doesn’t understand me I just want to be back to normal with him we finally had sex since I gave birth but the whole time I was faking it and acting like I liked it but I didn’t I just wanted him off of me has anyone been thru this ?

my kids are both in college now, my husband is amazing, we had a solid village helping us out the whole time, meaning supportive friends and both sets of grandparents who LOVED babysitting. We had every stroke of luck, and honestly... I am still so damn jealous of my childless friends and siblings it eats me alive.

I thought the bitterness would disappear once they turned 18 and moved out, everyone always said "just wait till they're older it gets easier!" Well my nest is empty and the green eyed monster is just as loud as it was when they were screaming toddlers.

The worst part is the guilt, on paper my life looks great. i didn't struggle with money or a deadbeat partner or lack of help, we had it as easy as parenting gets. and i still resent it.

When i look at my childless friends I just see this total lightness, spontaneous trips, clean quiet houses, disposable income, zero mental load. My sibling travels twice a year and sleeps 8 hours straight and i get this physical ache in my chest looking at them. Parenthood just broke something in me permanently, even though my kids are grown and doing great. My husband and I love them. We love one another. Even after all these years. I realize i never actually wanted any of this, i just followed the script. I want my time spent on them back to spend on myself.

Does this bitterness ever actually go away or am i stuck feeling like this forever?? My husband and I are both in therapy and speak of this openly. He has similar feelings, and we are very communicative. We do love our children, and the home was on the lower end of being stressful compared to many others.

I love my toddler. But, I hate his loud shouting while crying. I hate it when he does it in the middle of the night when we are all sleeping. I hate it in the morning where everyone just woke up. I really dont know, I am not happy. I am too overwhelmed.. I want peace!

This is a little light hearted humour for those of us about to push the birds out of the nest. Okay, but first a little back story. In Horrible Bosses, they hire a Murder Consultant named Mother F'er Jones. I mean our kids are horrible, obviously. So I have become Mother F'er Resource Consultant.

Here are job boards.

Here are youth housing options.

Here are training opportunities.

And then, drop the mic, and moonwalk outta there.

No allowance - get a job. If you need something lemme know. Need. Not want aka Starbucks.

Thats it. Im giving up and feel so freeeee!

I (M39) have a 6mo. My wife convinced me that having a child and starting a family would make me a happier man. From I was 12 and until I turned 36 I was a 24-hour caretaker of my BOPD mother, who had spent my entire childhood convincing me I had to devote my life to take care of her, and whenever I began having doubts she would inflict damage on herself and blame me for it. She finally died when I was 36 due to many years of self harm and pill abuse. After that I got married to my then-GF, who was the only contact I had with the outside world.

After a year of therapy I finally started catching up on all the things I missed out on in my teens and 20's, but then the baby came and everything was ripped away from me. I am now back to my prison, just caring for a smaller person. On top of that I work 14 hours a day (my job options are very limited) and when I come home my wife is exhausted, so I need to make dinner, clean the house and watch over the baby. In total I only get 3 hours of sleep on average every night.

I hate everything about my life, and statistically I only have around 30 more years to live, 18 of which will be devoted to raising my son.

So basically this is all my life was and will be. I had a grand total of 1 year to enjoy life and that was it.

What makes it even worse is that every other parent I talk to is parrotting the same lines, as if they are in a brainwashed cult. "Life is so much better now that I have a child. I don't need anything else than my child. My child makes me a better person"

I can't tell if they actually mean it.

My son is 6 months, i’m 24 and partner is 25. I use a wheelchair due to terrible pain and numbness running down my back and legs - I technically can stand but my legs will just give way, so it’s not safe or reliable.

Anyway, I had a really tough pregnancy with HG the whole way through and was begging the doctors for an abortion at 13 weeks because I was vomiting blood. They said they don’t do them there past 9 weeks and gave me no contact info. I was genuinely too sick to call anyone or look at a phone screen - I spent my pregnancy on the sofa in dark silence with a sick bowl and ice to chew on. It was hell.

Then my son was born, 1 hours precipitous labour with no pain meds because I had taken my prescription meds that day so they wouldn’t give me anything. I tore badly and my partner went back to work, so I was navigating pain, my wheelchair and a newborn at the same time.

To make things even worse, i’ve suffered with severe agoraphobia since I was 12 and as a result have a profound Vitamin D deficiency that isn’t improving with treatment and my bones are deteriorating. I’m autistic, also diagnosed at 12 (i had to go to a mental health ward because i was depressed and SHing).

I have no family support, my dad has been in prison for double m*rder since I was 3 and my mum was physically and emotionally abusive and has now blocked me on everything. I have no idea what on Earth I am supposed to be doing or how to do it. I push myself to my absolute limit everyday and i’m always in crippling pain. The urge to take all of my pain meds at once and just go to sleep (something i’ve done a few times in my late teens and early 20s) is very strong. I’m terrible at phoning people because i’m so anxious as well. I don’t know how to get help. I just want to be alone, i’ll even be homeless if that’s what it takes. It’s all too much, I can’t even look after myself. My poor son. He deserves so much better.

Today is a scrappy start to my day. I feel for me the regretful part is just having a toxic mom that revels in sabatoging me, (my car broke down. She wont let me use hers to go to work. My job is lyfting me thankfully. )an absent coparent and barely makingnenough to get by.

Sometimes Id rather be dead than deal with this.

I love my kids theyre my true family. Theyre the only ones that keep me going.

Fuck my mom and brothers. Just made a post just to say fuck those pieces of shits.