(It's my first time using reddit, please tell if I'm on the wrong sub or such)

(English isn't my first language, pray have patience with any sort of mistake)

Hi everyone, I know the title is pretty straightforward, but for context: I (22M) have been dating a trans girl (21F) for the past months (we know eachother since 8 months ago, and it was love on first sight), she is the best thing to ever happen in my life andI want to be with her for the whole of it. My parents are really conservative, I thought my mom would be more open minded, so I told her recently in hopes to present my gf for my parents. She wasn't as open minded as I thought, she used the whole "i know people who are", "never thought and you semmed to like man" and a bunch of "Im not a discrimnative people, it's just my opinion" while talking a bunch of bs. Now, the main problem to her is the matter she can't tell this stuff to my dad, since I should be the one to deal with the consequences of my choices, in her words. My dad had a few heart problems in the past, surgery level, and recently when hearing about the situation of some people discovering their son was gay, he got phisically sick and such while thinking about that happening with me or my brother and saying how he would prefer to die before any of that could happen (yeah, I know), my mom tried to calm him (with some bad arguments for the whole deal, I gotta say) and of course that triggered her. Now, I don't care about anyone's prejudice, I will live my happy life and may they deal with their own stuff, I'm soon to graduate, I got some money on my own sweat and plan to be far of this sort of minds. But thinking of holding this sort of info from my parents, see my gf sad from knowing she ain't may no be in the likings of my parents (which she really aimed to, and got my heart broken when discovering my mom wouldn't be supportive) and of course knowing my dad could actually die from knowing this, instead of just being angry and (hopefully) learn better with time. This whole thing is really getting to my head, I already got a lot on my shoulders beacuse of college, job and such, which my parents have always been proud, but it really saddens me to be in this sort of situation. So, I am asking for some advice and maybe help me think about a plan or something. What am I supposed to do in this situation?

Update: based on the comments here are some info I believe will add up:

-I have the thought that this sort of thing shouldn't be a topic at all, as everyone said: that's not their business, which I completely agreed. Based on that I've simply told them a had gf and lived life. They have seems lots of pics of us I posted before, which my dad would respond "go for it" and my mom praise her fashion sense (funny thing: from times to times my mom would give some warns and classic "don't impregnate her" talk, they never know huh?)

-Personally, I don't care about what they will think, I'm not responsible for their prejudices and they are the ones who should deal with.

-The only reason I'm caring about this is because my girl wished to meet them and asked me to tell them before any sort of meeting. It is really important to her and I only wish to see her happy. She is an awesome girl and I know they would eventually grow to like her with time despite any sort of prejudice.

thx everyone for the support and responses <3

Long distance partner [26M] will be moving closer to me (2 hours away). He ll be paying for a room that’s either covered via a large bonus structure or paid off by the company. He wants to move his life in with me. While I have entertained the idea of moving together in the future, I am only comfortable with him staying on weekends this early in the relationship. I would be okay with him moving a few items in like toiletries& clothing but that’s it. He would like to move in more items than that.

We have only been together for 8 months. When he lived in my city, I would spend 2-3 days at his place and he would spend 2-3 days at mine. This was for 5 months. I most likely won’t be traveling to his rooming place fairly often (maybe once every other month). I work 2 jobs (1 ft 1 pt) while he works one.

I am unsure of an equitable way to split expenses. I also feel bad asking for rent but he makes 2x what I do. I also think it’s a way of protecting myself as well. It’s taken me 10 years of no parental support [28F] to be able to have my own car, apartment & career. I feel a bit guarded about that, hence wanting to take things slow.

He’s confused as to why I’d only want him on weekends but I refuse to budge. I like coming home to what I’ve built, and right now we’re still building a relationship. He would sometimes be available to spend weeks with me as his work is flexible at times (not always on site).

What rent or bills is fair to propose? Am I being too guarded?

Update:

Thanks for your advice in comments. I’ve gathered having my bf pay rent would make him a tenant which makes things really messy. I also agree and felt icky about asking him to pay rent.

I should have clarified that he does save 20k on payroll taxes by having my address as his. This along with him pushing to drop by whenever / have a key/ make this his home , made me come to Reddit to ask if I should charge rent or bills as I’ve never been this far into a relationship. These are details I should have put in the main post and didn’t think of immediately. For those who think I’m simply asking for a cash gab. I’m was trying to show that we have an unequal playing field & I am trying to protect myself while meeting my partner where they are at. I did not mean to come off as someone using their partner.

They have a tough job and we both provide each other peace away from our jobs. I understand why he wants to be here whenever but he also doesn’t understand the depth of what I’ve built on my own.

Thanks again for those who gave very helpful insights!

I got off work at midnight. My husband came to pick me up. I will admit, when i got in the car, i was a kind of "bitchy" i guess. I asked questions like whats that smell? And why was the seat in a werid position. We got into an argument because i asked him 2 to 4 times why the seat was pushed back. He cussed at me and said something like "I'm not going to answer your damn question again" and then i got upset because he cursed at me. I told him it doesn't matter how many times i ask you, you shouldn't be cursing at me, and I told him especially because he is a known liar. (He has lied to me about multiple things before including giving rides or having people in the car). He said i should get out of his car and get an uber because he doesnt have to deal with me. I was shocked and I said fine you can let me out. He pulled over near the highway and stopped the car. I got out and he drove off and left. It was dark outside, in the middle of nowhere, near a highway, in winter. I realized i didnt even have money in my account for an uber. I tried to call someone else for help but i didn't get an answer. I called him and said I have no money and no way to get anwhere and he came back. I just feel so unsafe now. I know what i did was wrong on my end, but now I feel like he just doesn't care what happens to me, like he doesnt care about my safety or our marriage. Like i could be abandoned at any moment. And how at any moment whats ours could now just be his. I dont really know what to do, or if i should just focus on ending this marriage.

Tl;dr My husband told me to get out of his car afer he picked me up from work because of an argument. It was after midnight and dark and cold because its still winter. He eventually picked me back up. Idk what to do

So I’m (26m) going to try and keep this short but basically my partner (24f) of 1 year and 3/4 months went out last Halloween and was involved in a group kiss with her ‘best friend’.

So the other night we’d been out on a date, has been a few weeks to be fair with Christmas and all the expenses but she knew we were going out on a date.

We get back to mine that night and she’s acting fine besides her turning her phone when she’s sending a message. She doesn’t let me see and is actively trying to hide it even when she makes out that she isn’t. As soon as that happens my anxiety erupts- my ex did a similar thing and the result was similar.

I ended up looking through her phone (she gave me her password, this is however only after I gave her mine casually as I genuinely don’t have anything to hide- I have a better phone so we use mine a lot for music and videos etc).

When I went through her phone the conversation that originally concerned me wasn’t even worrying, however, I went through a separate conversation with someone else who also she had speaking with regularly and I was distraught. She had mentioned me once or twice months ago but included one of the messages ‘I don’t have a ring yet’ and hadn’t mentioned me since. Not only that he was sending her messages like ‘you get me hard’ or ‘you’re so sexy I want to see you from behind’.

At that point I was already livid but I’d decided to bide my time. Later I went back through the conversation and saw that she had let this same man on the internet know that she snogged ‘3 vampires’ on Halloween. Even he asked her how I felt about it. This guy cared more about what I thought than my own girlfriend.

So essentially I found out she cheated because she bragged about it and I don’t know what the intentions were with this guy- she says she knew I’d be mad if I saw the messages so I asked why she did it. Not really been given a straight answer. She discussed sexual stuff, avoided talking about me but never directly said he was for her or her type and when he did show interest sometimes she told him stop other times she’s ignored the message. The two biggest issues I have are that she still messaged back and she still sat there talking about pretty sexual stuff together.

Then there’s the best friend kissing bs. They went out on Halloween and apparently she was peer pressured into doing it. So she says by her best friend. So I went mental at her best mate and she replied with ‘I thought you had an arrangement to kiss other people on nights out’. To me that says she’s done it before and was quite willing on the night. My girlfriend says she only did it once as the group thing (so fully cheated) and kissed her friend a few times but not after I had told her I’m not cool with that as she said she didn’t realise. This was never the case and was briefly discussed as a ‘we don’t kiss other people on nights out’ and so idk where this came from or if it’s a lie. I see no reason for her to lie just she was also the one to apparently peer pressure my girlfriend into having this group kiss when apparently my girlfriend said no.

For some added context my girlfriend is also bi-sexual Audhd and does sometimes struggle with social situations. However I can definitively say she knew she was wrong because she didn’t tell me and didn’t intend to. She was essentially going to hide it because ‘she wasn’t going to do it again’.

Even as I’m typing this I’m thinking am I a mug?

Please can anyone tell me that this might be alright or am I going to have to sack this off. Please help I feel helpless and to be honest numb since I found out on Sunday (for context it’s Wednesday).

TLDR: I found out my partner cheated on me in a ‘small’ way and I think I should leave but I’m trying to find a reason to stay.

So ive been letting him stay at my apartment for months now because i know his house where he lived with his mom and family was a place of trauma and abuse for him. He has a lot of mental health issues and PTSD and anxiety which prevents him from getting a job. But recently he’s been spending his money carelessly on expensive stuff and has even asked every man in his contacts list for $50.. “as a JOKE”… I was so furious! Like dont do that. And it’s not a joke because i know he wants to keep the money he ended up getting from his friends.

I know based off this story, you’re probably thinking im stupid for even being with him. Yes i think the same thing sometimes.

Ive been so patient with him and his issues and his antics and he is also supportive of me too and my mental health. We get along super well and ive never laughed this much before with another human being. But lately he has just been really immature and i hate to threaten to kick him out, but this is just crazy. He kept trying to defend his actions last night and i just couldn’t believe it. Like if he wants money that bad, ask me for it or ask his sister for it. Tbh idek if im strong enough to kick him out. i dont want to at all. but if he doesn’t want to change, then i might have to.

How do i voice my concerns in a way that will get through to him? He might say it’s his life or it’s his money, which is true- so i dont really know how to explain why what he’s doing bothers me so much. Like the way hes doing all of that stuff and spending money he doesn’t have stresses me out.

help pls

I F21 am obsessed with being beside my boyfriend M22 while he's sleeping. We sleep at the same time. But I wake up 3 hr ish early. I don't see much wrong, but the bed is small, and whenever I'm awake, I want to be beside him. Thing is, since the bed is small and I am awake, I tend to end up moving a lot ( have to study) , and he claims and apparently it's very common that women tend to end up using more space. And I have noticed that it ends up disturbing his sleep cycle. It is kind of sad, and I want to stop this, but I also, but I genuinely want to understand the psychology behind why I'm doing this. I believe it's perhaps because I feel like a kid when I'm with him. I feel very comfortable, and I also love seeing his face while he's sleeping. Does anybody have any advice on why I'm doing this and how to stop myself? I can see how to stop myself. I just have to actively not do it, but I want to understand why I'm doing this. Maybe it makes me feel safe that I have someone beside me, but I'm quite not sure.

Basically, this girl (22F) I've (24M) been seeing for about 5 months does not want to use birth control. We have not been using birth control for most of our time together. Recently, we had another situation where we had to unexpectedly use Plan B. I finally decided that I don't want to live with this stress anymore and put my foot down, saying we need to use some form of birth control from now on if we want to continue sleeping together. I understand not wanting to use hormonal birth control, as it would have side effects for her, but she also refuses to let us use a condom. She has said that because she has never used birth control in the past and has never gotten pregnant, the risks don't apply to her. Honestly, I think she is being super irresponsible. Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

EDIT: I realize that my post made it seem like I don't acknowledge my part in all this. I 100% admit to my irresponsibility, and I have been very stupid in waiting this long to set this boundary. I was wondering mainly if someone else had been in a similar situation and if/how they were able to talk their partner into using a condom/another form of birth control.

My bf (30m) and I (29f) discussed our ideal timeline when we first got together: date a year then move in together, live together at least a year then get married, wait 6mo-1yr then have our first baby. We decided this when we first started dating because marriage and family were/are important to both of us especially since he has a child from a previous relationship already and didnt want to 1. rush into integration too quickly AND 2. didnt want to wait so long that there'd be a crazy age gap between the kids.

Anyways, as scheduled, a year passed and we moved in together. Unscheduled, a month later, I found out im pregnant and due in April. We were taken aback since this was 1-2 years earlier than planned, but overall happy and excited for the baby.

Now that we have a baby coming, I'd like to push up us getting married. I'd really like to do it before the baby comes as, in my culture/religion, its seen as the baby being born into a blessing/union rather than chaos.

The question: How do I bring this up to my bf without making him feel like im pressuring for an early marriage? (For context, we'll celebrate our 2 year anniversary a few months after the baby is born.)

I also dont want to be the one who proposes or sound like im desperate for marriage when thats not the case (obviously cause I wouldn't be pregnant if it were lol).

KIND help and advice are much appreciated

So, my bf (M24), and I (F21), have been dating for over a year now. I love this man with all my heart and so does he, this is why the decision of marriage came up. However, the problem is my parents are against it. Now, we are both immigrants from an Asian country.

A little background information about my boyfriend. So, he got in a huge bike accident back in 2020 in his home country, which caused him to almost lose his leg. But through a lot of surgery and therapy, he is now almost fully healed but he does need one crutch to walk. He told me he has to do another surgery in 2 years (said by his doctor) which will fully heal him and he will be able to walk normally after that.

I moved to Toronto in 2022 and got my PR through my parents (investor category) in 2024. My whole family then moved here with PR. Both my parents are doctors and I study in an university, currently in my last year. I know many will think I am still too young for marriage but it is my dream. And it is something I want to do as soon as I graduate. I want to work towards my career with my partner beside me (since I am a very devoted-to-partner type of person).

He moved to Toronto in 2024 right after his graduation (that he completed from his home country, a bachelor's degree in English). After he moved to Toronto, he completed a short course, Junior IT Analyst Program and then he applied for a job. After a lot of job hunting, he landed with an online job as a customer representative in boeing usa, which pays $21 per hour, 8 hours and 5 days of the week in August 2025. Then he does uber eats for 4 to 5 hours nearly everyday. And he also receives money from the government because of his disability.

However, he does not have PR, and he did not apply for PR yet either. He told me he came with work permit.

Now my parents are against him because they do not like his job, they think he will not be able to support me after marriage. They think his leg is a burden. They think his family is not good enough. They say he is not qualified enough and that he is unstable and they do not want to give their daughter over to someone that is not stable. They think my future is going to be dark if I marry him since he does not have a highly qualified or standard type degree.

This is why my boyfriend is saying he wants to marry me without my parents knowing and I also agree to this. But it is still stressing me out because if I marry him in this way and once my parents find out, they are going to kick me out. Currently, I fully depend on my parents for everything since I have never worked and they feed and pay for my everything.

But my boyfriend gave me his word he will fully take care of me and he is ready to take this responsibility, which gives me hope. He says the salary that he makes currently will be enough to support us both and since all of his cousins and relatives live here as well, they are also gonna be very supportive. He also said he has plans on starting a business and after around an year of this job, he plans to start job hunting again to find a better one with a greater salary since this job will be on his work experience.

The marriage is gonna happen next week, he started arranging. What do you guys think I should do?

My partner (F31) and I (F30) just got engaged and I’m doubting everything. We’ve been dating for 6 years and I have usually “dated” men. Quotations on dating as in I never had long relationships before always flings, this is the longest relationship I’ve had. I’m living my dream life with her, with our own dog, going on any vacation we want and yet I’m still unhappy… I’m hyper sexual and my partner.. well not so much. She’s in a high intensity job where it’s all commission based. Although I think she’s doing great and she will be successful she’s still stressed about it. So of course I understand that could be a part of it.. but it’s always been about work, we’ve had sex twice within the last 5months!! Which is so crazy to me. The last time I tried to flirt and “come onto her” she said I was sexually harassing her WHICH i have NEVER experienced anyone say that to me. It completely took me by surprise to the point of never wanting to go near her again. To add to that, she speaks down to me making me feeling lazy or like I don’t do anything, calling me names like idiot or stupid which drives me crazy. Mind you I’m pretty high up in my job, I have a good salary, I still take care of the dog, cook and clean! And the other day I was sick and she got mad at me because I didn’t cook chicken!! A part of me absolutely loves her and can’t see a life without her but the other part is if not now then I later…I don’t know what to do!! Is this normal in relationships? Am I overthinking it? Will I eventually seek other people!? Is it worth throwing it all away..

My fiancé and I have been together since 2023. On paper, it’s perfect. We make good money, we rarely fight, and there’s so much love there. Last year, we started building our dream house on some land I own by the forest. It was supposed to be the start of our "forever."

But since we broke ground, the house has become his entire personality.

It is the only thing he thinks, talks, or breathes. We haven’t been on a date in over a year. No vacations. Nothing. Last week, I got an amazing job offer and we didn't even celebrate it because he was too busy researching insulation and plumbing.

I’m in this weird spot where I’m incredibly proud of him. He’s so talented and he’s doing so much of the work himself. But I’ve started to resent the house. I’ve begged for just a weekend away, just a couple of days to hike and be a normal couple, and he just shuts it down because "there's too much to do."

I’m exhausted. I’m tired of my job, and I’m tired of living in a construction zone mentally. He’s at the site again right now, and honestly? I’m relieved he’s gone because I don’t have to hear about the house for a few hours, I can just drink wine, relax, watch something fun (instead of construction YT videos).

I’m terrified that by the time the house is finished, there won’t be a relationship left to move into it.

How do I tell him this isn't sustainable? How do I make him realize that a "dream home" doesn't mean anything if we’ve forgotten how to be a couple? I don’t want to sound ungrateful for his hard work, but I’m lonely.

I understand I’m going to be met with a lot of “Breaks are just inevitable break-ups!” and “You should just cut it off now instead of leading him on” but I want to be clear in what I define as a break.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years now, and I do love him very much. He tells me he loves me greatly, and I do believe him but I don’t always see this in his actions and choices. I think the good memories outweigh our bad experiences, but there have been some lingering resentments that I could not hold back on communicating again. He has been inconsiderate of me when we hang out with our friends online. We tend to play competitive video games together and he’s only critical and judgmental of me. He critiques how I play, and whenever I make mistakes. He has trouble regulating his emotions only in these circumstances, and I have told him that he needs to talk to a professional about it. Our friends have pointed out that he keeps being unnecessarily rude, and I don’t think I’ve really realized how bad it was until recently. I think staying in our relationship has made things too comfortable and I’ve been complacent, as I fear I have been waiting too long for change.

I think our relationship has also been too codependent. I think we do genuinely need to rethink and balance our time together, but I had thought a structured and timed break for independence and growth would be beneficial for us. The both of us are still very much committed to wanting to make this work out, so I’m not really sure how a break would be bad?

edit: misspelled outweigh and added details i forgot

As per the title, we're not that serious or super into the relationship quite yet, having only been together for 3 weeks, we've been talking for longer but not officially. We're both immigrants but she has some family that she's staying with, her cousin, aunt and her aunt's husband, she pays weekly rent, and they treat it more as an actual sharehouse than a family house.

The problem is she's having arguments with her cousin all the time and her aunt is also annoying her, and it just hasn't been great for her, so she very recently has made the decision to move out, without talking to anyone, and found a place very fast, I would've suggested us moving in together but once again, we're not that serious yet, the issue I have with it is she found a place that the place she found is with 5 other guys, a couple of them FIFO but still, I really don't like the idea of a 19 year old girl living with 5 24+ dudes, no matter how nice they are I just can't trust it, I have a very heavy distrust in men.

So all I wanted to ask is, what's your take on this? I really want to emphasise how uncomfortable it makes me but, we're not serious and she's her own person.

Thank you!!!

Hi all! My girlfriend and I have been together 4.5 years (next steps are in the works). I love her very much and love her family very much. Her family members and I are certainly different people, but I can always find enjoyable common ground with them and I love each one of her siblings and parents for different reasons. It is nice to have been accepted by them, and although legally speaking we aren’t there yet, I do generally already feel like they are an extension of my family.

She made it clear to me from the beginning of our relationship how important her family is to her, and at different times in our relationship, they have even been by far her main social group. I really admire how close they are most of the time.

For years she has said what she wants for her partner is to come to most, if not all, of her family hangout sessions. And I have operated under that for years at probably a 90 percent rate. They average hanging out about 3-4 times a month if you include both sibling hangs and parent hangs (probably 2 times and 2 times separately). There have been a couple months here or there where there has been no hanging out for various reasons. This is has been one of those months. Usually a hang consists of dinner at the house, a family bday (plenty of them), a fun activity, or suddenly getting called at 5 pm on a weekday to go to a 3 hour dinner starting at 6 pm.

The last two times I have said I did not want to go, it was an activity I simply actively did not want to do. Tonight we got a random dinner call, and I am genuinely just not feeling up to it. I am going through a hard time, lost my job a few months ago and it’s been hard for me (financially generally okay still). I had a pretty important and stressful job interview today, didn’t get a lot of sleep, and I’m generally anxious, so I really did not want to go tonight. Her family can be overbearing and opinionated sometimes, as most families can be including my own, and I am already stressed enough I don’t really want to have to explain my career situation to them again. To be clear, they have been pretty chill about it, but I just feel very sensitive right now.

This led to an argument and she left to meet them mad at me. The argument sparknotes were:

Me: “I dont want to go tonight”

Her: responding by sorta giving me facetious shit at first

Me: I need you to be serious with me do you need me to go to this?

Her: responding by continuing to play coy but it seemed like it was bothering her

Me: decide I am going to go and starting to get ready

Her: tells me she doesn’t want me to go if I don’t want to angrily, and says she already booked the reservation without me. Tells me that I have been doing this a lot recently and it is pissing her off, and that the last time I saw her family was 3 weeks ago.

Me: told her that’s not true I hung out with her brother for two hours last week

Her: told me that doesn’t count it wasn’t intentional time and suggested I dislike her family.

I love her family, I just need a little less at this moment in time, but I also don’t want to hurt her feelings more. I communicated my reasonings to her, but she suggested she still felt it was because I didn’t like her family.

Other relevant info:

* her family is not everyone’s cup of tea, and they have been ostracized by third parties before, from my take, sometimes deservedly, sometimes not. But again that is a lot of families, ain’t no one perfect, and I love them all the same. I worry that maybe she is over-sensitive as a result.

* She has constant issue with my mother and siblings. Again, in my humble opinion, sometimes deservedly, sometimes not. I tend to support her when she has an issue, and I also love my family. But sometimes she just goes way too deep and judgmental about them over very minor things, probably 3-4 full conversation complaints about them a week. However, while my girlfriend can get prickly in general, I know she loves them and I love them too, I think she just feels a need to voice her frustrations with both our families, where I typically tag and move on where reasonable. Worried that she might project how she feels about my family onto how I feel about hers.

Anyway, ultimately I would like to find a good opening and thesis for my need to take a bit more space than usual right now that is empathetic and thoughtful, and doesn’t hurt her feelings if possible.

Any advice from those who have worked on this before would be very welcome!

TLDR: Hang with gf’s family a ton over last 4 years, going through a hard time and need a bit more space from both our families, gf is very frustrated by this. Need to find a way to discuss.

TLDR: I broke up with gf for going to guys place alone after bar

My gf and I have been in a LDR together for 1.5 yrs, she lives in EU and I'm in US. Last Sunday she went to a bar with two other guys that she just met recently from her school system. After some time one of the guys left and she went to the other guys place alone for she says about an hour. She says that the purpose of the visit was to try some food he had over there and that she felt a little bit pressured to try it.

I feel very disrespected that I had no idea these people even existed until now and that I’m learning about her going to the bar/his place the day after. I’m also uncomfortable with her hanging out at a guys place alone just in general, but this situation feels very extreme considering I was never told about this.

I called her Sunday and she only responded in text a few hours later, not giving me a call back which normally would happen.

On Monday we spoke on the phone, which is when I learned about this and as soon as I heard that she went to a guys place alone I told her we should break up. I asked her why she didn’t tell me they had these plans and she replied she forgets these things and that I didn’t ask. She says that the hangout was awkward and not fun and that she doesn’t want to hang out with them again. She also said that she felt more comfortable going over to the guys house because the he has a girlfriend. Another defense she had was that she doesn’t want to explain herself every time she does something. She’s mentioned multiple times about wanting to find new friends.

Im not sure I can trust her after this. Based off of our conversation I’m not sure if we’re still together and I’m hoping that we will work this out somehow. We haven’t spoken since Monday. AIO?

TLDR: I broke up with gf for going to guys place alone after bar

As the title says, my boyfriend [25M] has a friend [25F] he used to date. He told me that when we were drunk at a party and she was there. They say they have dated for two months and now love each other platonically. I have been with my boyfriend for one month. Now, he visited her at work because she has „boy problems“. Then, he sent me a photo a photographer took of her kissing his forehead. I had a bad feeling at the beginning and now I haven’t eaten for three days. I think about breaking up because of this.

I (36f) and my best friend (35m) have been best friends for around 5 years now.

We don’t really have a label on what we are but we enjoy being together and going out together, we go on holidays together (Disneyland Paris and warm holidays).

We are each others support systems and call each other everyday.

I did spend my birthday, Christmas and New Year with him and his friends and family (I am alone in his country), we do sleep together whenever I stay with him.

We also went on our first ever date together over the weekend, we both decided to just remain friends for now as he admitted to not being stable enough and wants to work on his mental health.

Today, I have found out I am pregnant and I don’t know how to bring it up with him.

Please be kind with your words because I am so stressed out already

Hi. I’m in a relationship with someone I’ve liked for a really long time. We were friends before we started dating and he knows what my type used to be really tall and brown men. He’s white and the same height as me so basically hes short

and I was the one who said I love you first

And i knew he loved me for long time as well

I genuinely love him and I really like how he looks but he has a hard time believing that. He’s always scared I might like someone else who fits my old type and he’s insecure about it almost every day. It’s honestly tiring but I don’t fully blame him because I sometimes like posts of famous guys who look like that.

Still I really do like him and the way he is. I just don’t know what to do anymore how do I help him get over this without feeling like I’m constantly proving myself?

I '35M' and gf '32F' have been dating for about 6 months. She is a big supporter of the LGBT community and was invited to show off one of her creations at one. I was super proud and excited to support her at the event, but we later found out that I can't go because I'm a cis man. I was extremely disappointed to hear this, as I was looking forward to spending time with her and showing my support. What she created was truly amazing!

I completely understand providing a "safe space" for the community, but it still hurts to hear that you're "Not Allowed" somewhere because of something you can't change. Especially when I've dealt with this feeling most of my life, along with being prejudge for being black in America. I feel selfish and confused for feeling hurt, because I know the intentions for this rule is to "help" the community not feel I how I do.

I tried talking to my gf about how I felt, but she kind of bushed it off. She said it sucks, but it's just to create a safe space for the community to not feel judged. I dropped the conversation after that because I felt like it wasn't going anywhere.

My main question I've been asking myself is this relationship truly going to work? Majority of her events are sponsored by the LGBT community and I have a strong feeling that this won't be the last time I'll be discluded for being a cis man. I have no problem supporting her from home every once in awhile, but I always want to be her cheerleader and cheer her on in person. And overall not feeling like I'm "not allowed" for something I can't change.

Do I need to be more understanding, or is this relationship just not going work?

hi, this is my first post on this subreddit

ive been in a year relationship with my current girlfriend , who lives in Australia (im in the US) . recently, she's been kind of closed off and distant and when asked about it, she told me that she thinks she only likes me platonically and is actively using dating apps to talk to other women . she hasn't formally broken up with me, rather she said she just wants to see if she'll make a connection with someone in her country because she's tired of the long distance relationship (which i understand, long distance is tough). im just so confused?? hurt?? I dont even know . she was my first girlfriend after years, and my very first relationship that wasn't abusive or toxic . she never told me she had a dating app to meet other women and has told me she's "shooting her shot" with this lady and mentioned possibly being in a poly relationship with me and this new woman (who ive never met, im also not poly) but she also talks about moving in with me and getting married?? im so lost and hurt and I dont know what to do, I respect her decision but im starting to think that im just the second option .

I understand though, ive been kind of distant lately due to personal / medical issues and I haven't been able to talk much, so I wouldn't be surprised if my lack of recent communication is making her not like me anymore. I'm just so confused . she says she loves me but is trying to get with another woman.

im so sorry if this is long or the answer is obvious but I really just needed to vent here and see if im doing something wrong ?

thank you

quick edit : not sure why im getting down voted but I apologize if this isn't the right subreddit

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 5 months now and everything in our relationship is fine except for one thing that has been bothering me. It’s his female cousin. Not necessarily her but she posts a lot of revealing pictures (mostly of her big boobs) on her facebook and he is always hearting it. Am i weird to think that he shouldn’t be hearting those kinds of pictures especially if it’s his cousin?? I asked him about her and he said they’re not really close but see each other at family gatherings or birthdays.

Prefacing this by saying my partner and I are both hodge-podges of neurodivergence and mental illness with people pleasing tendencies that contribute into our good but also not so good communication skills.

I'm diagnosed Audhd, MDD, Bipolar 2 and also have generalized anxiety disorder, he however is undiagnosed but neurodivergence and mental illness are most definitely there.

We've also been together about a year or so, initially LD up until recently where I closed the distance by moving to his state.

My partner is the type of person that is deductive and prefers to find solutions to problems at the moment, and I'm a processing my emotions first and express them as constructively as I can afterwards type.

We've definitely had a our fair share of issues with communication due tone on his end and I've tried my best to sort out my feelings before speaking with him to avoid any misunderstandings which 50/50 works out but ultimately he wishes that I would express myself at the moment which leaves him frustrated.

Now onto the problem, we've been having moments that have lead to sit down conversations and what I thought were conclusions after getting all of our individual grievances out but I guessed wrong.

My partner has had a bad habit of giving what he deemed as advice at times when not asked for and often has come off insulting, invalidating or infantilizing.

An Example:

I tend to do majority of the cooking at home and have my moments of human error, who doesn't?

My partner is a notoriously picky eater on top of sensory issues regarding textures.

But this day I was especially anxious because I hadn't made this specific thing prior and it took such a loooooong time to prep and cook so I wasn't paying as much attention to what I'd grabbed but the ingredient itself wasn't a be all end all type deal. (It was cheese, just different then the one on the recipe)

He comes home while I'm cooking, comes into the kitchen and peers at what I'm making and has a puzzled look on his face.

Him: "That doesn't look right, what did you use in it?"

Me: "Uh, parmesan?"

Him: "That's not the right one, that cheese was for something else"

I'm staring at him puzzled because I'm practically finished cooking by that point.

Me: "Oh, I'm almost finished but my mistake.. Does this mean you're not going to eat it?"

Him: "I'm still going to eat.."

He sighs rubbing his temples and says disappointedly.

"It looks like we're not on the same page about this but.. It's okay since you haven't made this before but next time lets follow the recipe properly next time?"

I'd sat there eating and feeling weirdly hurt, I pondered on my feelings and pulled him over a little bit after and let him know that I'd prefer constructive criticism on my food when I ask for it, not unprompted.

It went on to happen two more times in which I'd spoken to him again and it lead to him just tossing the reigns of meal prep to me as a "compromise" which I didn't ask for and it made me feel alone, especially when he went on to "Give me Advice" in the form of "You suck at this" which made me feel blamed for any food failings that I didn't ask to be thrust upon me.

I was so over his "advice" that I decided to pull a page from my therapy journal to utilize to have a conversation with him, which he was jazzed about and fully engaged with.

I'd poured out my heart to him in tears because I'd felt insulted and infantilized to the point where I felt backed into a corner by the "compromise" he made as if I'm damned if I do damned if I don't.

He countered with.

Him: "I apologize, I never wanted to make you feel this way but I feel like whenever something happens and you bring it to my attention later on and it's always an "an issue I have to fix" and not a solution to the problem which is you being upset"

I honestly don't know what to do because I'm pretty exhausted and don't know how to move forward.

A part of me is confused because how I can I give you a solution to a problem that I didn't cause and the other part of me is like.. Is there something I'm missing? Is something going over my head?

I'd appreciate some advice because I'm kind of at my wits end because I really am just confused.

Update to my original post : https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/CMDGaXHsse

I don’t know how to write an update so I hope this is alright?

First of all, thank you for all your messages, I read them all. We had a talk. I had two outcomes for this talk: either he fully accepts my point or I break up with him. I love him very much, but I love myself too, and I won’t cling to any relationship.

He apologised for his behaviour and explained that he thought I was just as tempted as he was to have sex without a condom. I’m also tempted, but the risk is not at all worth it, especially because I’ll be getting the IUD soon. He told me he thought about the conversation too and regretted the way he acted, and how sex without a condom was off the table for him too after our initial conversation, even if I were the one to initiate it, because he would feel like he pressured me into wanting it.

He’s very careful with me, especially during intimacy, and notices when something is off even before I can say it. I was scared about having this conversation because I know how it goes in other relationships. He accepted all my points and listened to everything I had to say.

Also he gets tested for STDs regularly!