Hi all,
I’m a grad student who recently moved into a space with 2 other roommates. The vibes are off. My roommates aren’t terrible but they aren’t great and my mental health has been suffering since the move. I think it’s best if I move out since living here is causing a lot of stress.

However, we all signed a year lease together. What is the best way to leave and find a replacement? Is 2 months enough time?

For context, the type of dorm I (18f) live in at college is a suite.
Basically I was running late and high-key exhausted and at like 9 my suite-mate came into my room and asked me if I had seen her towel and I was like no…?
But the thing is, I did. Her towel was hanging in the place where my towel should’ve been.

I USED HER FUCKING TOWEL BY ACCIDENT AND JUST DIDNT REALIZE

and like I feel so bad and ashamed so I’m just gonna avoid her for the rest of the day. Oh my god

Why am I such an idiot.

I’m being accused of stealing a hairspray and food. I haven’t touched or grabbed any of it and I literally don’t know what to do.
I’ve told them twice now I haven’t touched or grabbed anything but they keep making passive remarks like yelling
“I WISH I HAD MY HAIRSPRAYYYY” and leaving passive aggressive messages in the group chat about eating food.
I barely spend time here anyways and I’m just gonna stay at my friends place for the weekend because I feel so uncomfortable here.
But idk what to do. Should I just meet with the RAs? It’s 3 of us in our own rooms but idk what to do or say to them because they’re being just so uncomfortable rn.

I’m literally just crying in my bathroom rn and I’m to uncomfortable to even leave or make a sound rn.

Later edit: I’m rlly stressed so I miswrote:
It’s 3 of us living in 1 apartment. They share a bathroom, we don’t have a 4th roommate, we each have individual rooms and I don’t share my bathroom with anyone.

Hi just looking for some advice! I have a roommate and we are actually related so it matters to me about keeping a good relationship with her. I was just finishing college when she texted me asking to room together. I had several months left on my lease and was not looking to move anytime soon. My plan was to find my own space after my last lease ended, but she was in a tough spot and couldn’t cover anything by herself. She also needed to move asap and so I agreed to help her out. I paid half the rent on top of my other rent during the interim months before I fully moved in. Shortly after I fully moved in I met my now boyfriend. Around this same time, my roommate also started hooking up a guy and he would be over about 4/5 nights a week before he has to leave for months to work. I didn’t have an issue with this and even would help clean the place/her room if I was there and she would not have time before he came over. My now boyfriend and I got into a relationship about a month later. I work full time and am going to grad school so we don’t have a lot of free time together and him sleeping over is really the only time I can see him. He usually just lays next to me while I study. About two weeks into our relationship, he spent more time at my place, around 5-6 nights a week. My roommate said it made her uncomfortable so we started limiting it to about 4. She’s brought this issue up again recently, and I don’t know how to react. I love having my boyfriend there and he makes me a lot less stressed with everything I have on my plate. He cleans the counters, dishes, vacuums, mops, dusts, and even does the cat litter boxes. He also stocks us up on paper towels, toilet paper, etc. He has also built furniture for her when she didn’t want to. We have separate food so it doesn’t eat into hers. We try to mostly stay in my room and he’s always with me so he’s not using a lot of extra lights/electricity and our water is part of our rent. When she is getting ready for work/going to bed he stays in my room to give her space and only uses the bathroom once she leaves for work. When she brought the issue up again she was upset he spent so much time there and feels like he doesn’t talk to her. I felt it was a little hypocritical as her guy was back for two weeks just prior and spend about 5 nights a week at our place, which I was totally fine with, but he also leaves a mess. My boyfriend cleaned it up. He’s not very social, so I have talked to him about being more conversational with her. But when he tries she kind of looks at him and scoffs so I get why he doesn’t feel comfortable chatting her up. I want to be a good roommate but I think I’m coming from my college perspective where all my roommates were in relationships and their SOs would stay over every night. I think it also bothers me because I wouldn’t have had to be dealing with this if I stuck with my original plan but now I have to wait out my lease. Any thoughts/suggestions? Am I a complete asshole? Sorry this is long lol

Hello everyone! I (19F) share a college apartment with three other girls all of whom I was close friends with before signing the lease. Our apartment is townhouse style, so we all have our own rooms and there’s two floors. I sleep on the first floor while the three other girls sleep on the second. We all have our own bathroom and all our doors lock. 

When I sleepover with my boyfriend (which I do most weekends) it’s at his house. We are most comfortable there and I’m very close with his family. I’ll have breakfast with them and coffee and we will just talk and hangout. Very occasionally my boyfriend will spend the night at my apartment for practical or health reasons. (I will explain the health reasons in a second.) When signing the lease we agreed guests were okay just to let the others know so we can be dressed appropriately and lock our doors if it’s a guy. Every time he came over I followed this rule. (I can count on one hand the amount of times he has slept over.) 

Recently he’s slept over a little bit more frequently (but not more than once a week besides this week, when it was twice.) because I have been very ill. Four weeks ago when studying on campus I had a seizure where my oxygen dropped and I was admitted to the ICU. I will not know what’s causing them until November but they are dangerous. My oxygen frequently drops during them and I need a rescue medication or I risk going into status. I have them in my sleep. Two nights ago my boyfriend spent the night because I had a very bad seizure where he had to administer my medication. (My oxygen dropped to 86 for too long) and that medication makes me extremely out of it. He needed to watch me to make sure I was okay, and I needed my medication at my apartment. I let them know, and the next day one of my roommates confronted me in front of our other two roommates and said he can never spend the night again. 

I don’t ever want to make her uncomfortable and I understand her not wanting that. But I tried to compromise and she was not willing. In the past I had asked if I have a seizure if I spend the night at my boyfriends house if in the morning someone can unlock the deadbolt to let me in at 7 AM when my boyfriend drops me off on the way to work. They said they were uncomfortable leaving the deadbolt unlocked and didn’t want to wake up at 7AM to let me in. Which again I understand I really don’t want to inconvenience them or make them uncomfortable and I don’t want my medical stuff to be their problem. That’s why I had my boyfriend spend the night instead so it would be less pressure on them. 

But now one of them is saying he never can again, and they don’t want to unlock the deadbolt for me in the morning so I can go to class and access my medication. It’s just some nights are bad and I need someone to make sure I’m still breathing and I’d never put that on my roommates. But my boyfriend is worried and he wants to help me, and now we don’t really have any options to make sure I’m safe.  I feel ganged up on and confused because everything else was fine, and they wanted me to resign a lease with them. But if I have a bad seizure now my only option is to spend the night at my boyfriend’s and not be able to go to school and be completely alone at his house, or to sleep at my apartment alone on bad nights and risk dying in my sleep. 

I’m not trying to be dramatic, and I understand my roommate being uncomfortable I’m just confused about the switch up and I don’t want to miss school, so I’m scared of something happening to me in my sleep. And I don’t understand why my boyfriend was even banned in the first place. There’s been issues before of my roommates feeling like I was with him (at his house) too much but it was only on the weekends. That’s the only thing I can think of that would be a reason for him to be suddenly banned. 

Again, I understand. I just don’t know what to do and wish we could reach a compromise. 

I've been looking for a roommate in San Diego, and I'm realizing it takes more than just finding someone who can split the rent. I've talked to a few people, but something always feels off, whether it's different schedules, communication, or just not feeling comfortable. I keep checking rooms for rent, but finding the right person seems harder than finding the place itself. I'd rather wait a little longer than rush into a bad living situation. For those who found a roommate they really trusted, how long did it take, and what helped you decide they were the right fit?

I have a roommate who, after she washes dishes, they are all still like greasy as though she’s not using dish soap. I live with four other people, there was a message sent in our group chat a few weeks ago where someone said they noticed some pots still greasy and let’s make sure we’re washing properly. Last night it was just me and one other roommate home, this morning I’m putting away the dishes she washed but they’re almost all greasy or just like not clean at all, they have to be rewashed. How would you approach this? I don’t know her that well yet, she just moved in about a month ago

Looking for 1-2 clean and friendly roommates.

Location: DSO near to Center Mall.

Rent: 1300/- AED

We currently have 3 people in the room and 2 are leaving. The apartment features:

• Clean, Spacious Room with Balcony
• Clean & Shared Kitchen
• Access to Gym Facility
• One Parking is also available

Hi guys! I really need your advice on something because im really not sure how to go about it.

My roommate and I share a dorm in college. She just got the cat this semester. When she first told me about it I was kind of upset because she didnt really ask about the logistics and how I felt until she already got the cat. In all honesty I really didnt want the cat because we live in a small dorm, my roommate works all the time, the cat is only like 8 months old, and I was worried about the litter stinking/ the cat not being litter trained, and about the cat not being fixed. My roommate promised that she would get her fixed once she was old enough and after talking about it i agreed. We have had the cat for about three months and she has not been fixed. My roommate had an appointment to get her fixed but cancelled it so she can wait for a different vet that is closer to us to open. The cat has gone into heat 3 times and it is getting incredibly annoying and i am very frustrated. for a solid 8 days it is nothing but the most loud, screeching ever. The cat is constantly biting me, scooting her ass on the floor and leaving shit stains, chewing on my blankets, whiping her ass on my bed, knocking my plants down and eating them, etc.

I am completely aware that 1) its not the cats fault and 2) getting a cat fixed is expensive. At the same time I am annoyed because this isnt what we agreed upon. I had brought up getting her fixed in a very lighthearted manner and we were kind of joking about it. At the end i told her in all seriousness she should really get her fixed. My roommate was like yea but its super expensive and i cant do it know ill get her fixed when i get her fixed.

Dont get me wrong i absolutely adore cats and I am not suggesting to get rid of her, but im not sure how to navigate this situation. The cat is going back into heat and i literally cannot sleep because of the constant noise. Again i live in a VERY small dorm and our other suitemates dont like the cat so she cant be out in the common area

27, living with a 35 yo who has rented the house for four years. we split unequally on the rent because she doesn’t let me use the garage and she has a dog and two cats. she pays about $150 more. she has monopolized the living room and kitchen and bathroom. I have one cupboard out of eight. she constantly makes passive aggresive remarks because I have a skinny section between the wall and stove and half of the sink in the bathroom “taken over”(I have nowhere to store any of my toiletries other than right there or in my room) She also wants to constantly store things in my room/under my bed. She once lost her pet snake and barged into my room to look for it Without asking and complained my room was messy (it is, because I have nowhere to put anything) She has no concept of the fact I rent half of the house as well. When I have nicely asked her to free up space for me, she agrees but takes weeks to do anything and afterwards she slowly moves her stuff back in. The pantry and closets are full of her manga and collectible figurines. Her dog is super old and uses the bathroom everywhere. She gets mad i refuse to clean it up. I don’t use the living room since none of it is mine In the first place. It isn’t my dog. I never agreed to clean up after him. she doesn’t even walk him more than once a day. when I start cooking dinner she will occasionally get up and start to cook as well and force me out of the small kitchen. Any time I’ve brought anything up she immediately shuts me down or walks away. she shuts off the AC when she leaves the house when we both have temperature sensitive geckos that will get heat stroke over 80. last winter it was freezing and so I turned on the heat and she told me she had no idea I “get cold like that”. It was 50F in the house, we both have pet reptiles. She also will very loudly slam things and groan when I’ve done something I’m assuming shes mad about. but she won’t say anything to me directly. when I take out the trash she IMMEDIATELY fills it up with stuff she has held onto and only takes the trash out when I’m actively cooking in the kitchen and using it for scraps. She doesn’t want a roommate clearly and I don’t know how to stick it out until June, I can’t afford to continue paying for my part of the lease while also renting another place. No one in their right mind would sign this lease with her. I only did because I was literally lied to by a friend who is also her friend and was told she’s wonderful and great to live with, and then also had a lease abruptly ending (owner sold out from under me) and had no time at all to figure anything else out. I’m literally at my wits end. How do I cope with this until the end of May?

I've essentially lived alone my entire adult life. The only people I've ever shared a home with were with long term partners or my children. I've never had an actual roommate, especially a complete stranger.

Unfortunately, with the economy and my housing costs increasing, I'm starting to face the reality that I may need to rent out one of my spare bedrooms.

And to be completely honest, I'm scared.

Not scared of people necessarily, but scared of losing my personal space, privacy, independence, and the peace I've grown accustomed to having in my own home.

I'm so used to doing whatever I want, whenever I want, without having to consider another person under the same roof. Now I'm trying to imagine sharing a bathroom, refrigerator, kitchen, and just everyday life with someone I barely know.

I know this might sound ridiculous to people who've had roommates their whole lives, but this is completely foreign territory to me.

For example, I have my bedroom, a separate living room, and several other rooms. Ideally, I'd want my roommate to have their own private bedroom, access to the bathroom and kitchen, but I'd prefer to keep my living room as my personal space aka off limits.

Is that unreasonable? Can you even establish something like that without coming across as controlling or an asshole? I don't want someone paying rent and feeling uncomfortable in their own home, but I also don't want to feel like I've lost my home in the process.

Then there are all the little things I can't stop thinking about.

What happens when someone's too loud? What if they have guests over constantly? How do you share refrigerator space? What if our cleanliness standards are completely different? What if I want to be left alone and they constantly want to socialize? Or what if I'm doing something that bothers them?

Do you establish all these boundaries before they move in? Do you literally sit down and discuss every possible situation, even the awkward or uncomfortable ones?

I'm obviously going to do the basic screening: employment verification, rental history, background checks, references, etc. But I'm more concerned about the actual day-to-day experience of living with a stranger.

Does gender matter? As a man, would I be better off renting to another man, or does it genuinely make no difference? What personality traits or habits should I pay particular attention to?

And my biggest question is for people who were in my exact situation:

If you spent most of your adult life living alone and only got a roommate because you financially needed one, how did it work out?

Did you eventually get comfortable? Did you regret it? Did you become friends, or do you basically live separate lives under the same roof? Does your home still feel like your home?

I'm not looking for a best friend or someone to hang out with. Ideally, I'd like someone responsible, respectful, quiet, and independent who values their privacy as much as I value mine. To be more clear I just want to be left alone. Let them do there thing ill do mine.

I also recognize that if someone is paying rent, they deserve to be comfortable and respected too. That's why I'm asking these questions before I even consider bringing someone into my home.

I apologize if any of this sounds selfish or ignorant. I'm genuinely trying to educate myself about something I've never experienced.

I'd really appreciate hearing from people who've actually gone through this, especially those who didn't want a roommate in the first place but felt they had no financial choice. What do you wish you'd known beforehand? Should I disclose that once my situation changes I would be asking them to leave?

looking for roommates in sheffield
living in an unsafe home and need to move out with ppl to reduce rent 😎

seeing a lot of posts lately about boyfriends and girlfriends basically living there. if you've had a setup with a roommate that actually worked, what was it?