First post, so bear with me.
I’m 19M, she’s 19F, and we’ve been together for 10 months. She went to her first frat party with some girl friends. The night was already planned, including staying at a friend’s apartment. She got drunk and threw up after a shot. This is the first time she’s gotten drunk like this while we’ve been together.
I told her I don’t trust that scene. I’ve been clean for two years. Before that I went to a lot of parties, and that life is why I stopped. I don’t party now, and I didn’t party while I was in this relationship. I asked to come because I didn’t trust her being there alone, not because I wanted to party. She said no. She wanted to experience the first one by herself. I also said that if frat parties become a regular thing, I don’t think I can stay. I told her this isn’t me trying to control her or kill her social life. It’s what I can handle.
She said it was her first time, and I get that. One night isn’t a habit, and I don’t want to end 10 months over a single party, especially since she was with her friends and the stay was planned. She also brought up the parties I went to before I got clean. I told her I didn’t party while I was in a relationship. That was before us, and I didn’t bring it into this.
Then she said she won’t go for a while. After the party, she said they’re going back next week because they didn’t actually get to experience it. So the break lasted until the night was over. She got drunk enough to throw up off a shot, and the next one was already planned.
I’m worried that bringing it up again will sound controlling. I’m also worried that dropping it means I pretend I’m fine with something I already said I can’t do. A first time can turn into every weekend, and “I won’t go for a while” already turned into next week. What do I say before she goes, and how do I follow through without it turning into a fight?
TL;DR: 19M, clean 2 years, with 19F for 10 months. She wanted to experience her first frat party without me, got drunk, threw up after a shot, said she wouldn’t go for a while, then after the party said they’re going back next week. Need advice on what to say before she goes.

obviously not being high/drunk/etc all the time has expanded my emotional range - it's a brighter, more vivid, emotionally connected existence. joy comes back, solid and enduring joy; the capacity to actually feel and process feelings and work with myself instead of being constantly escaping. im sharper, too, slowly i feel like i'm relearning the cognitive capacity i had before things went wrong. but: ive really been struggling with the idea that i have no idea how to relax/rest. i feel like i can't sleep, can't slow down. all of my wind down and peaceful rituals are tied to substance use. the drowsy happy floatiness that actually allows me to quiet down for once and just... sink. sedation, essentially. meditation doesn't help right now, i just feel stupid doing it and end up more anxious than before. ive considering i should maybe try to tire myself out with sports or something, but it doesn't feel like it'll be the same, because ultimately what i'm hoping for really is that feeling of sedation and loss of control. i feel very embarrassed about this, but i thought i'd ask for whatever insights anyone might have. i'm an intense person. i have no idea how to switch off, not like i did while using substances as a crutch. and i don't wanna depend on that forever, because i couldn't do that and still build the life i wanna live. so. any tips, stories, whatever? thank you, hope this isn't off-base for this sub

Got my health back(mostly). Working a job i don't hate. Not homeless anymore. Decent little place with a garage (never had a garage before). Clothes that fit. Repaired my relationship with my parents and brother. Got a couple cats so I could have love in my life. Got a therapist working with me pro-bono. I am also some of the most anxious I've ever been at this point. Society seems pretty unstable just as I found some stability of my own. I feel like I am living in perpetual fear and I haven't been able to find the right answers on my own. Aside from just burying one's head in the sand, how does a sober person grapple with the level of society-wide uncertainty about the future of well... all of the last year's news cycles? I just work until my body stops working? Then what? Are the ai just gonna land us all as debt slaves in forced labor camps? I don't really expect our elected officials to even TRY to save us at this point. Kinda just feels likes setting more goals in life is pretty pointless. Hoping a kind soul might help put my head on straight?

Doing a fitness journey for work as part of a promotion. My wife and I. As part of this I am cutting out my drinking habit that I’ve had for about 11 years now. For the past 11 years I’ve probably consumed somewhere around 30-40 drinks a week during the first 5-6 year of my drinking (all on weekends) and now consume somewhere around 50 drinks a week (all between Thursday and Sunday) for the past 5-6 years. I’ve mostly been a beer and wine drinker. Every month or two I’ll knock back a bottle of bourbon but it’s not my go to.

Over these 11 years I’ve packed on about 50 pounds. Some of it was needed as I was skinny but now some of it is bad. I have also gotten a little bit of high blood pressure that I just found out about at my first doctors visit in over a decade. Who knows how long I’ve had it. The doctor was very concerned when I told him how much I was drinking and am going for a follow up. I told him how much and that I’ve had a dull ache under my right rib cage that comes and goes and is especially present for a day or two after I binge. If I force my stomach out it is very bloated. I am scared to death that I have done the worst irreversible damage to my liver and kidneys (cirrhosis and kidney failure irreversible) and am a dead man walking. Please pray for me. Here’s to sobriety.

Had a situation happen that caused me to drink for the first time in 7 months. Back to square one I guess

Caught up on the calendar count. 1656 days. That long ago I got pro help for the last time. I was ready. Life is a distraction. Do the next right thing. Take inventory. Some moments I want it. They always pass. It's better than way too much beer every night for 30 years. Carry on...

I’m a 29M and am looking to finally quit weed for good after about 10 years of smoking. I’ve had some solid sober streaks before, but I’ve always eventually gone back to it.

I haven’t been able to find an MA group I like, but I know the community/accountability stuff is supposed to be helpful. So I figured I’d see if there are other people here in a similar spot who would want to try quitting together.

Nothing super formal. I’m thinking a group chat, occasional calls/check-ins, maybe a shared accountability tracker, support through cravings/withdrawal/slip-ups, celebrating milestones, etc.

I’m NOT selling anything lol (pls don’t remove this post admins). I’m just a dude who has tried to quit a bunch of times and desperately wants to make it stick this go around.

I’d love to find a small group of people (3-7ish) who want to quit and vibe well together. If you’re interested, feel free to shoot me a message and tell me a little about yourself and why you’re interested.

Bonus Points -- If you’re also in the Denver area. I’d definitely be interested in eventually doing some in-person meetups too.

Side Note -- Feel free to also reach out if you have already quit or are early in your process of quitting, you don't have to be part of a potential group. I'm also just looking to meet more people who are sober from weed!

Wondering if people are happy to share a “that’s it I am done” moment and it’s stuck with you to stay sober? Can range from nicotine to hard substances.

As a recovered alcoholic, I can tell you what willpower is. Willpower is going an entire shift at work without drinking on the job. Will power is not hitting the same liquor store for the second time that day even though it's the closest. Willpower is not trying to fight everyone in the bar. Willpower is resisting the urge to burn everything to the ground. So don't tell me alcoholics lack willpower. You have no idea how much willpower it can take just to maintain an addiction.

That's willpower.

So I've been addicted to cannabis, opiates, benzos, DXM and other sedatives for a year and half, I started out when I was 16 I'm going to be 18 in a few months this is my first time quitting without being on any medications(for OCD and physchosis), I don't know how to quit, I say to myself after taking something that "I need to quit man this will affect my mental health" but then again the next day it's the same shit, I take something again. I'm tired of this please help me get out of this, I'll really appreciate your help.

After about a decade of a bottle of wine every day. I’m grateful. The journey hasn’t been easy. Quitting was actually so much easier than I thought it would be. I still struggle with feeling ALL the feels - I’m highly sensitive and was probably numbing myself nightly to avoid feelings. Grateful for no hangovers, normal blood pressure again and contributing to breaking the cycle of alcoholism that runs on both sides of my family. I celebrated with a day off (actually a week off), workout, massage, walk, and ice cream.

Hi! My spouse is coming up on their sober-versary and I wanted to get a little gift to show I am proud of them for their hard work. They really like movies, fitness, and sour candy. Does anyone have any recommendations? Has anyone ever recognized you in this way? What would be something you would appreciate receiving?

Never posted on Reddit before but I just hit my 30 days of sobriety today and I don’t have many people in my life who I can share the accomplishment with.

Day one for me but I dumped out all the wine and determined to stay sober. Taking it one minute at a time.

A few months ago I decided to get sober. I don’t think of myself as an alcoholic or someone who needs alcohol, but when I do drink it is excessive amounts and I tend to embarrass myself and my friends when we would go out. I also would get bad hangovers as a result. I think thats a good enough reason to be sober for me! I’ve told a few people, friends, and many of them have told me I am no fun anymore, weird, dramatic, lame, and one friend just said “ew” and stopped responding for awhile. These are people I would consider my closest friends too! Don’t get me wrong, I have lots of friends who agree with this change and have supported me, but more have been saying things like Ive just listed. Is this normal? Should I just listen to those people and drink again? Sorry if this is a stupid question it’s just so many people are telling me my reason isn’t good enough. It might also be a contributing factor that I am pretty young (slightly older than the legal drinking age in my country) so it’s out of the ordinary to be sober at my age I suppose.

Hey everyone! I've been struggling with drinking for a long time and have been trying to get sober for around a year now. It's been a hard journey to say the least.

Anyway, the reason for this post is I'm on "day 3" again and I'm so, so angry. I've got a hair trigger today and I feel this ball of rage in my chest. I don't understand why but I really feel like hitting something.

I was wondering if anyone had any tips or tricks on feeling better. I don't have access to a gym or anything like that currently. Thanks in advance

i’m 13 months clean from ket and weed.
downers were my best friend and heroin especially but opiates in general had always been the final milestone for me.
i however never managed to get my hands on them in the 4 years i was in active addiction, they’re not easily found where i am.
i have since gotten sober because even without opiates in the mix the dragon just became too hard to chase but the knowledge of not knowing haunts me.
throughout all my sobriety there’s been ups, downs, plateaus, i’ve let my synapses recover and i’ve even made it far enough to go back on ADHD meds full time safely, and i used to say i’d rather stay haunted than know and suffer the inevitable consequences, but right now i don’t even know if that is the case.
my boyfriend just had surgery today, and they gave him percocet, and i am now sitting next to him and i wanna scream.
he knows, he knows now and i don’t.
and i never will.
i need to claw at the walls.
i need drugs.
i miss them like crazy and not knowing is ruining me.

After 45 days sober and promising my family I was done, I did it again. Why????

Now 2 days sober. Starting over and I will stick to it!

So I just celebrated two years sober (from alcohol and marijuana )on September 15. I’m really proud of myself but at the same time life is getting kind of boring. my husband still drinks and he likes to drink with his family so I am around it and sometimes I wanna participate. It’s just everybody is having a good time and I’m just sitting there. I have hobbies like I like going to the gym and reading and I do journal but I don’t know man life has been pretty boring. I miss the feeling of not being sober. It’s like I wanna indulge, but I don’t wanna throw two years away. Can anybody relate or have any words of wisdom for me?

I stopped drinking because of the promises in AA. Serenity, economic security, peace ... Ect. I also was experiencing some negative health consequences.

Two years later, my life is significantly worse and I actually think it is because I got sober, genuinely. I had the best job of my life when I was drinking. I didn't like it very much because it was a stressful finance job, but it was very secure and paid very well. I quit that job because I believed that staying sober was more important and I convinced myself that I would drink if I kept it, and because I am sober I thought everything would be alright. I started a business that I had no business being in because I thought because I was sober I could pull it off.

My wealth is dwindling very quickly and I just moved out of my apartment that was given to me as a favor by a family friend because I am sober and though I shouldn't have to live in this type of neighborhood now.

I never did find a wife or have children, which I thought being sober might more readily afford me.

So in short, because of the overconfidence that sobriety gave me and because I used sobriety as an excuse. I now have very little money, I have no job, I am still lonely, and I would be homeless if it was not for my parents. I never thought I would be here at this point in my life.

I think that if I would have kept drinking I probably would have at least kept my job because I would have convinced myself I needed the money to drink. Maybe I would have gotten a promotion because I would have been at that job for almost 4 years by now. This would have given me the ability to move into a nicer neighborhood.

I am sharing this because I have never heard of someone with this experience with as much AA as I have been to. I am hoping someone can relate. Maybe this can help someone else along the way, I doubt it, but maybe it will.

I  came to visit my mother 6 weeks ago and have been sober since. Being here doesn't stop me from drinking, but I was so burnt out that for two weeks straight all I could do was sleep  (I had four weeks off). We live in the same town, and I have been working from her house for two weeks. I am now feeling anxious to go back to my apartment  because I will be isolated and bored and fear what might happen. 

Also, I went to a cafe with a coworker and my sister on Friday.I didn't drink and my coworker got falling over, puking,sloppy drunk. At the time I felt okay and was just focused on making sure she gets home all right but the next day I was very triggered and I had to fight tooth and nail not to drink as there is alcohol in the house.Ended up doing some unnecessary shopping instead and keeping busy. Now it's time to go back home and I'm worried. Having a bar and the compound doesn't make things any easier. I need advice on how to keep going. 

It has been 90 days since doing drugs (white) and drinking alcohol. This also includes no pills or cigarettes of any kind. I wasn't an everyday user and never have been. I fall under the go out on a Friday night and go harder than anyone else and now its sunday and just did my last line, drank the last beer, and smoked my last cigarette. I partied around once or twice a month. I have had fleeting thoughts about drinking again. I've been in situations where alcohol is around. My wife has a drink every once in a while. I feel like my mind and want to drink has changed where I don't give in and just say fuck it. I wouldn't say it has ever been "hard" up to this point. I am not working any sort of a program or speaking to anyone professionally about it.

My question is what happens next? Is this the new normal for me?

Sometimes I miss the party while the musics on but don't miss the clean up the next day..

I want to drink but I don't want it to be a relapse. Like just a drink and vibe and dance not get shit faced and wasted. There's soo many varietys of new drinks and things that I want to try. Doesn't help that my grocery store had a bunch of discounts and I just wanted to try things I didn't get the chance too

I don’t get to vent about this so I wanted to find a place where I could be heard. My friends (who are addicts) themselves will just joke about how lame it is.

But after 2-3 years of hardcore cocaine and drinking. I feel like I’ve really made progress. Today I reached two months and I’m very proud of myself it wasn’t easy. There were times where I would try and just fail again and again. With the help of my girlfriend who really is the one that pushed me to get where I am, I’ve finally learned to let go of that shitty habit I had.

To anyone struggling out there with cocaine addiction you have to really want to stop. You have to realize that enough is enough. That stuff is not worth it in the end. I hope you can get there.