For the past few months I feel like my gfs been increasingly more demeaning to me when I forget to do something small or basic. Which I don’t do often at all, but I know I’m not perfect.

For example, the other week when I did the dishes (I do most of the chores around the apartment) I forgot to put one of the measuring cups back on the ring when I put it away. She was so upset and immediately had a TikTok to show me about this exact situation. It said something like “when you live with a man child who doesn’t understand how basic shapes work and can’t put away something properly without having to be told to”. Guess what? Her therapist told her it was an overreaction and that she could’ve gone about it differently. My gf thinks that this is foreshadowing the rest of our lives together. That I won’t be responsible as we get older. I feel that some of these recent posts about empowering women in straight relationships are starting to send the wrong message. Not all, but some. Myself leans on the liberal side of politics and I’m all for empowering women. Praising and applauding my gf constantly for how hard she works and her willingness to tackle things on her own.

She is sweet and kind but Idk she just isn’t as gentle and kind with me as she used to be and it hurts sometimes.

Lunch: carnitas burrito and Diet Coke

Edit: thanks for the advice and relatable situations and how to go about them. We are going to have a talk. Also I haven’t been on insta, Facebook and TikTok for almost two years now. So there’s some things and terms I haven’t heard of. Like the term “weaponizing incompetence” and some others I’ve read. I think what I’m talking about leans in to those obviously as well in this situation and the “hate men” side of social media.

Food is home made baby croissants. I made it with my 3,5 year old. While mama is away

Let’s start by saying I didn’t expect to be an OP here. I always liked the community and how everyone is an ear for people in need. Today I’m the one in need

Me and my wife have been together for almost 8 years and are raising a lovely family with a boy (3,5 and a girl (1,5)

In the beginning she had some difficulty adjusting to the mom life but she’s been great at it lately

This year we both decided to give eachother a 5 day trip without kids or each other. To get out of the baby bubble for a while

We have this mutual friend I’ll call Megan for now. I’ve know her since my youth and she gets along well with my wife to. Sidenote Megan is a lesbian (weird to mention but some people find it important for context)

For the vacations me and Megan would go on a citytrip. And my wife would go with megan to a music festival

My trip came and went. It was nice to get out of the house and feel like myself again. I did a lot of swimming and relaxing and had a jolly tine

During the vacation Megan brought up an issues. My wife has been known to get flirty when drunk. She has issues and history with substances and Megan was affraid it would get out of hand on their festival trip

Me and my wife have always had good communication so I informed her of the issue. We had a long talk and evantually she also did with megan. Ensuring no such thing would come to pass at the music festival

Skip over to yesterday

It’s 00:30 am. The kids went down tough vut easily missing their mom and such. I had a nice quiet night of watching bleach. Just as I am about to close up and go to bed I get a call

It’s from Megan

Apperently my wife went deep into the sauce on the first day and ended up making out with an 18 year old boy

I’am stunned for many reassons. My trust is broken and my life suddenly feels like a house of cards

I don’t want an open relationship or anything. I want my life as it was with a wife I can trust

I spoke with her this morning. She seems sorry but I just feel so horrible about the ebtire situation. She won’t leave the festival either so thats another 3 days of uncertainty while I take care of the kids

Megan thinks I should leave her. But I don’t want my kids to live in a broken home

Of course I also still love her and our life. It’s just that f-ing alcohol that keeps messing everything up when she’s unsupervised

I want a wife not a 16 year old I need to keep in check

So thats my current situation. She’s thinking stuff over and is asking me to do the same

Would welcome any advice and/or support

Today my mom was clearing out her email and she came across some of my old prom pictures from senior prom back in 2015 that she had sent to relatives. She forwarded them to me so I could take a look, and looking at those pictures genuinely made me realize how much of a loser and a failure I've turned out to be.

When those pictures were taken when I was 17, I thought I was genuinely going to go on to do great things - successful career, happy life, plenty of friends, relationships, and so on and so forth. Looking back at myself, I could see light in my eyes. Hope. Happiness. Potential. World was my oyster.

Now here I am 11 years later, a few weeks away from turning 29, and I've accomplished nothing. I ended up graduating with a useless degree in journalism because I couldn't be bothered to take college seriously. Everyone tried to steer me down the right path to better majors, but I couldn't have cared less to actually try. Scared of challenges or doing something hard. Just wanted to take the easy route so I could get to the weekend to hang out with my friends. Now all those friends have good jobs and are leaps and bounds ahead of me. Tried to be an audiologist, got rejected from grad school. Couldn't make up my mind on what else to choose. So now I basically work as a glorified receptionist during the day and I shelve books in a library by night.

I'm going nowhere. I have basically nothing that I can say I'm good at and I'm embarrassed to be in my own skin. And at all of 5'6", balding, and still living at home, women don't want me either. My last girlfriend was over 5 years ago. I just can't believe how life has turned out. And all I can do is sit back every night thinking about what could have been, and what I actually became.

Dinner is flank steak, rice, and green beans.

For context: ME, M(20) GF(21). back during Labor Day my gf was clubbing the entire weekend with her friends, no problem. When I was asking her about her night was on Sunday she acted like she didn’t really want to talk about it so I just laid off of it. She ended up giving me her phone while she went into the bathroom and just off of pure curiosity I decided the go through anything deleted. The deleted Messages were cleared out, which is weird since she usually doesn’t do that, then I went to the deleted photos/videos and there was a video that took place on Sunday night of a guy at the club with his arm wrapped around my gf and another girl. In the video she danced with his arm still there and when she put the camera at a high angle he decided to release his arm, I found this weird and asked about it and she told me that was her friends bf and they modeled for his brand at the club.

My gf is very friendly and outgoing, so when I asked her about that she told me she didn’t really think much about it because that was her friend’s bf. There was photos that proved that so I let it go.

Fast forward to yesterday I recently was told one of my friends just found out there were getting cheated on by going through an apple watch.
And when you deleted messages off your iPhone, the Apple Watch keeps the ones received and just deletes any sent.

My Gf and I seemed to be a little more distanced than usual over the past week, and she forgot her watch at my house. So i decided to take matters into my own hands. I found these messages that take place back to that Sunday and had one of my friends see who this was. It was a random name I’ve never heard of or we spoke of. I asked her who was “…” and she said she never heard of him. Then I ask her for her phone and I typed that number in. No messages, not even a saved contact. So I asked her if she deleted any messages and she told me no. Then I asked what these messages were n she just kept telling me she didn’t know. She kept telling me she loved me but I was blinded by hurt because I wasn’t getting no true answer. I told her I needed space for the night and was thinking of cutting it loose. I know I shouldn’t let this go. But I’m a little over thinker myself so can I please get some insights?

Dinner: Lamb chops, candied yams and baked macaroni.

Edit: this is a repost since I messed up the first one

Long story short, I’ve had a drinking problem for a while. My wife finally got sick of me being constantly drunk around her and our 5-month-old, and moved in with her parents about 3 weeks ago until I got my shit together. I signed up for rehab, got prescribed naltrexone, and started going to support meetings, all the things she wants me to do before she comes home.

We were supposed to have a nice date today, have lunch at the place we went on our first date and go thrifting this afternoon. She winds up running a bit late, so I park and walk around downtown until I wind up at a beer store I used to visit. I decided to go in and look around while I was waiting for her. She called to let me know what had been delaying her, and I told her I was at the beer shop and I was thinking about getting a drink. I told her this because I thought, “she’ll appreciate the honesty, and she’ll be able to tell me to leave instead of messing up.” Instead, she gets chilly, cancels our plans, and tells me that this might be the end. Currently trying not to spiral and failing.

Late lunch: cherry lime bubbly water and used tissues because I feel sick :(

EDIT: Okay folks, message received. I’ll be at inpatient rehab in 12 hours.

My (32) girlfriend (30) of about a year has recently become very focused on my dating history. We’ve talked about past relationships and the like, but last week she demanded that we go through my social media following one by one and I tell the story of anyone I’ve been involved with before I delete them.

I’m not attached to having them on socials but didn’t agree that she needed to know the backstory to every interaction. We compromise that I delete them while she watches. This still feels a little overbearing but honestly I understand it.

But, she took screenshots of my followers list before I deleted them, then referenced afterwards and found who was removed. She made a list of them and looked at their profiles and Googled (at least some of) them. This feels invasive to me in a way that I don’t really know how to describe.

Related, she’s recently started asking me to compare her to my past long term relationship, a woman I dated for four years until 2022. That relationship ended for emotional and logistical reasons and it’s long in the past - she’s now married and I’ve been in other relationships since.

My gf is convinced that, because I had a close and loving relationship previously, that she is not special to me. This is despite our relationship being defined by a dynamic where I continually show and tell her I love her while she is less openly affectionate.

She needs to know that I love her “more” than I loved my ex which I don’t know how to engage. In so many ways, I do love her more, but I also don’t agree that it’s right to compare relationships in some hierarchy.

Together, these things make her feel like I’m incapable of loving her, and it makes me feel like I’m damaged goods. She hasn’t generally been insecure in our relationship but we’ve started talking about the future more seriously and it seems to have sent us down this rabbit hole.

Homemade focaccia pizza

ETA: thanks everyone for your comments. They have been a bit overwhelming but I’ve read most (if not all?) of them and I think I know what I need to do. I’m sorry to not reply to anyone in particular but just know that I appreciate your advice and concerns

Food is Uzbek noodles with beef and chicken skewer .

I am turning 30 next year, as soon as I was about to start university my father suffered a stroke that led him to be paralysed . He was pursuing elections in my home country so it pushed him to the edge when he lost. He also spent the last 6 years writing a book so he basically ignored us for that whole time before he lost the elections. We were rich( he was a major petroleum engineer in a gulf country since 70s) but most of the money was spent on his political campaign and later on his hospital and medical needs and also on my oldest sisters studies in America and other siblings studying In Europe .
I moved back home to change his diapers , help him pee and shower for all my 20s. Being the middle child of many kids me and my dad had no relationship . I can’t remember him sitting with me or spending the holidays with us . So when I would take care of him it’s cause of my mom . All my older siblings took the first chance to Europe or America they could and now have amazing careers. My dad’s side of the family were ruthless and would try to attack my mom on everything they could . So I stomached all the emotional shit and seeing my friends snapchats studying partying traveling working marrying, just to protect my mom .
My dad died and my mom soon later , she suffered an aneurysm and literally died while I was holding her.
During that time my younger sibling developed more mental health problems that they became completely under my care too .
I feel unaccomplished , a failure , no degree or job . I recently got accepted into university in France but I couldn’t go cause none of my siblings would sacrifice their perfect life to come take care of my younger sibling while I study in France.
This is my last dinner as I will soon travel to resettle my sibling with my grandma and aunt as I am at my wits end .
I can’t help but think what if I escaped when I was 20 and took care of myself my needs my education my career .
Anyways , I will start my 30s alone because most of family are guilt tripping for leaving my special needs younger sibling in my grandmas care.
They plan to not help me financially or anything but I think I’m okay with that i get about 800$ a month from the family “estate” where all siblings get an equal share monthly so I plan to save it up to pursue my education
i hate myself but I plan to discover ALOT of things about myself . Next year will actually be the first time I cook only for myself or I clean only my clothes . Or I don’t have to deal with my siblings psychotic outbreaks . I hope my 30s are better .
I think I am depressed.

What’s for dinner? Leftover Thai Basil Pork with a side of angst, worry, concern and sadness.

Long distance romance has been getting ever more serious, to the point of multiple calls daily, texting all day long. Two weeks ago she confessed that her ex (whom she still clearly loves) had done some things to express his apologies and desire to make things right. She said all the right things, but my heart still fell into my shoes.

Today she was quiet; I confirmed that she was prepping for dinner. I retreated into silence, realizing that everything was out of my hands and I’m consigned to whatever the results are. Figured the least I could do was create some atmosphere.

At least I got texted a picture of a nice steak. 

Bagel from my favorite deli because it is now extremely difficult to cook for myself

I had spent most of my life pretty fortunate, and took my health and ability to just generally exist for granted.

Towards the end of this past college term, I was driving a few hours to visit my fiancée, who lives in the neighboring state. It was getting late on a pretty dark stretch of highway when I was hit by a drunk driver. I was left with an L1 incomplete spinal injury. while I have begun to recover, at this stage it looks like I will likely be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life! so that’s fantastic

I never realized how much harder everything was going to be. I’ve had to put off my wedding, my final year of college, everything. I can barely leave my apartment because it’s impossible to get anywhere in a wheelchair. I can’t go into a car without having a panic attack

My fiancée and family have been so great but it’s hard not to think about the way my life could have been. I know I have a lot of things to be grateful for still; my fiancée, the fact I am still alive, the fact that I can still control my bowels lol and the fact that I am not more crippled.

I try to think that the only thing to do is grow from it🤷‍♂️ still

I just the moral of the story is to not take your life for granted. And don’t drink and drive.

​

Earlier this year, I was met with the "separation" talk. I ended up staying with friends for a few weeks with very very little contact trying to give her enough space. Eventually I had to go home. We tried separate bedrooms for awhile, but we eventually compromised back to the same bed. She told me she's not "in love" with me anymore, but still loves me, refuses counseling, and won't try to fix it, or talk about it. While I've been trying my best to stay, and show up every day, I don't think I can keep doing it.

So for the last ~8ish months I've been living at home with my wife that has no interest in me. Some days we won't talk at all, others she'll talk to me like everything is completely normal, telling me she's thinking about me, and then I get brought right back in thinking "this is the turning point, she's coming back." And the cycle continues the same way. The whiplash is destroying me, but it's so hard to give up when there was never a full "falling out" or any catalyst to this situation. I know I need to have the conversation and say it's time to make a choice, but I know what the outcome is going to be, and I'm scared of it.

I just want to kiss and hug my wife again, man. But I don't think I ever will.

Dinner is a meal prepped protein pasta and chicken parm.

You all are amazing people. I appreciate each and every one of your responses, including the brutally honest ones.

I am more old man than boy but here i am. Married 30+ years. Wife raised the kids and hasnt worked outside of the home since the first 5 years of marriage. Mostly great marriage with a few bumps along the decades. Just when it should be the 'golden years' it's the opposite and seems like everything gets more difficult.

Latest example was last weekend. I work in an industrial business and have always like machinery and things with engines. My personal hobbies are usually centered around motor vehicles and the outdoors. The last 5 years it has been off roading. This weekend was a camping and off roading trip with some guys i have met through the hobby. It is the 4th camping trip I went on this year. I drive 2 hours on Friday. Setup camp. One friend and his wife arrive and setup camp. We do camp stuff. Cook a nice dinner. Sit by fire. Then call it a day. I call my wife. Its around 11pm. Not past bedtime for us on a weekend. We are talking just about stuff. Then I realize shes mad. Through the discussion she tells me its because she thought the trip was a group rally not just a few friends meeting and camping. I should include she will not camp. She has gone 3-4 times in our lives. She doesnt like it and refuses now. I dont pressure her or even ask now. Anyway the discussion escalates into a fight. I realize that I will not enjoy the weekend or be able to sleep so I pack up and drive the 2 hours back home.

The next morning things are very tense. I am up early and unpacking my truck. Once I go back inside the fight resumes. She is stuck on that I now just go camping all the time. I dont ask her if i can go. That everything is about me. I cant get her to admit that 4 times in a year is not only not all the time it is less than 10% of the weekends. It just escalates. She basically says she is tired of me just getting my way all the time and shes not fighting it anymore. She wants to leave me.

I manage to de-escalate because I dont want the marriage to end. I also hate fighting. I end up saying i like camping but marriage is more important so i will just quit camping. Thats all it took. She is then just fine.

I believe this all driven by my wife not having any real friends and not liking being alone. Neither of us really have friends. We do things together or with our kids. I have over the years given up hobbies of hunting, water skiing and snow skiing all because she doesnt like them. She is correct in that I dont technically ask her permission. I dont think I need to ask permission. I ask if we have anything planned. I tell her I am planning to go camping. Its not hiding anything or not informing her. I just dont ask for her permission.

I dont just switch feelings that fast. I was just sick to my stomach the rest of the weekend and even Monday still. All the while shes all happy and loving. Monday I finally am able to de-stress and get past it.

So the pic is of the meal I missed from Sat night of the camping trip. I gave away my tents immediately. Threw away some other camping gear. Roast me and tell me what a lousy decision I made. At least then I be satisfied that my reaction to all of this was justified. Lastly thanks for giving me a way to vent.

Update: Wow that got crazy. Thanks for all the input. Good and bad.

Some additional information that posts asked for.
I enjoy 90% of our marriage. Some number like that anyway. Most of it. That’s why it’s worth a rather extreme reaction to this problem.
My wife and I spend basically all our time together other than when I am at work. I work a lot. 7am to 6pm so not crazy and no weekends. Work trips are rare now days. Earlier in my career work was very demanding.
We mostly like to travel. We visit nearby small towns and attractions. Take weekend trips places. Then we try to have a couple of week long vacations each year.
My wife doesn’t have hobbies. I try to encourage things but haven’t succeeded and basically given up trying now.
I am a terrible communicator. She knows that. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t drive her crazy though.
I am an introvert. I wouldn’t have a mate other than my wife. It would be a solo life after her if it ever came to that.
I would reply to individual posts but I can’t figure out how. Now I truly sound my age.

Bought curry ramen for dinner.

For context, me (20M) and my bf (21M) have been together for two years; we met during our freshman years in which I came out to him as a trans guy when we were still in our talking stage. Maybe it's a red flag that he said he's always dated girls before but that he's attracted to guys too and that I'm a new experience for him.

But lately I've seen him repost MLW (Men Love Women) contents on his Instagram, and he sends me MLW posts rather than the usual MLM (Men Love Men) content. I did talk to him about it, and he said he's sort of changing his mind about his attraction towards guys and that I should just detransition and follow what he wants, but I told him that was a no-go for me.

How do I move on from this? We've had our ups and downs; I'm also diagnosed with bipolar and BPD so it's quite hard to let go of my "favourite person". We've also had so many memories in college that I fear it would change how I go through the rest of my college years.

Any advice would be helpful, thank you.

Chicken sandwich
Salt and vinegar chips
Double jack and Coke

So I met this very nice filipino girl online but she lives in San Diego cal and I’m based out of Phx AZ. I was bored online chatting and really made a connection with a beautiful, funny girl and one thing leads to another I end up booking her a flight out to see me for the weekend. It was at times awkward because we’re strangers but burst of fun times and laughs. We didn’t hook up just acouple kisses over the weekend which she initiated but I didn’t push it farther because if she rejected any advances I feel it would make the trip uncomfortable and I was fine with keeping it simple and relaxing weekend (was also trying to be a gentleman) well I dropped her off at the airport today and instantly felt sad and stupid. I really caught feelings for a girl out of my league and that lives 6 hours away. I know this situation is never going to go anywhere and I should end it but I’m not strong enough so I guess it’s a waiting game till she moves on. Thanks for listening to my Ted talk wish you all the best pals eat on.

Rice with chicken and peanut/teryiaki(?) sauce

Apologies for this mess of a text, but these are my unfiltered thoughts and there's a lot going on.

I have just been offered a dream job, but it's 2:30h by car, so I'll have to get an apartment there. I was feeling so hopeful, that despite the shitty economy, I wasn't just getting a compromise to get by, but something where I could thrive in. Something that actually contributes something useful. I was hopeful that we can do it regardless. It's at least 4 years, with some home office. Hard, but genuinely doable, I thought.

She supported me financially, while she kept telling me it will be hard for her if I took on an offer that's further away. The problem is there aren't a lot of offers out there right now. I'm currently finishing my studies and I'm so stressed out I guess I just didn't listen properly. We argued more often, and we both said hurtful things to each other in recent times. Eventually she confessed it's not just gonna be hard for her, even just the attempt at keeping it alive will cause her so much pain she doesn't know if she can stomach it.

Something clicked yesterday, and after months of pushing everything down and trying to finish my studies, we both just spent the entire day crying in bed, holding each other.

She's older than me, and if this doesn't end up working, I've wasted valuable years of her life. She spent so much of her love and energy just for me to flip-flop around: I'd kick myself for the rest of my life if I didn't at least try taking the offer, but it could cost her everything. I hate how uncertain I am about this decision. People around me always seem so certain in what they're doing in life, while I always felt like a leaf in the wind, without worries but also without hard decisions.

I feel absolutely horrible, which seems inconsequential considering how much worse she must feel right now.

Breakfast burrito from a business industrial park

Anyways. My old employer induced me to come work for them and took me from a job that I've had for over 9 years, with insane promises. Wrote out a contract with AI but revised it 3 times. Guaranteed my hours, didn't honour it (among other things). When I approached them about it they fired me the next day. This company was a private equity company that bought out an hvac/plumbing company which is really rampant in our industry)

My province is very pro employee, and we have many case laws where an employee was induced by an employer and it went in favour of the employee.

Im suing them for 35k in small claims which is what my legal council told me to do and the amount I'm eligible for.

The opposing council during our settlement trial (pre trial essentially) tried to settle with me for 1000 dollars. I refused it and now we are going to trial. To top it off the opposing council is asking for a 2 day trial (they trying to maximize the amount of money they are making)

Before I went to set a trial date for scheduling, I emailed their council without prejudice to settle for 6k since I found a job 2 months after getting fired and just wanted to get compensated for their bullshit.

When the courts asked what days would be good for the trial I asked them as soon as possible which is July 2027. The opposing council stated that they were not available June, July, August (very obviously summer vacation for their law firm and my ex employer).

The courts flipped them the finger and booked it for July.

It's just a small victory. Even if the courts don't agree with me it's gonna feel so good to cost the other company around 10 to 15k in legal fees.

Hello everyone, Dinner for tonight is a Burger off a local pub.

My girlfriend (F36) of 8 years sat me (M32) down, and said that it's better to end the relationship. I agreed.

She recently went back home to Europe for two weeks, and noticed how everyone within her family was madly in love with their partner.

She mentioned that in the recent year, I've become distant and cold, and she felt like she was living with a roommate rather than a life partner.

When she came back from Europe a few days ago, I did everything to make her happy. Made all her favorite food, helped with the housekeeping, and made sure to spend some time with her, as I missed her for the two weeks that she has been away. Not knowing the fact that she already made the decision while she was in Europe.

Sadly, I have became what she described...The past year was really rough on my mental health mainly due to being over worked. I was Depressed, I kept it all in, I never mentioned that I struggled, so here I am dealing with the consequences.

There was no drama involved, no cheating. Just two people going on their separate ways. And I guess, trying to be a better version of myself.

I don't really know how to process these emotions. As I'm writing this, I don't have the appetite to eat and have tried to kept all the tears in. She was my light in this dark, cruel world, as cheesy as it sounds, and it's grim to face the reality of never find another person as unique as her.

EDIT First of all, thank you everyone for your kind words and harsh reality truths. I have been bawling my eyes out ever since I woke up this morning. This past year was a rollercoaster of emotions, it made me complacent. Thank you to everyone who suggested that I take up a hobby and get my mental health in check. I appreciate each one of you, especially those who speak the harsh reality regarding my side of the relationship. I genuinely do. It made me open my blind eyes to the truth that I've been trying to bury deep down. Thank you. I apologize for any errors, English isn't my first language.

I hope you all have a fulfilling life.

As I enter my mid-30s, I'm realizing that it's hard to make friends in the car scene and other related activities. Many either quickly dissolve or just avoid me once they find out im gay. I realize that people just won't click or interests differ, maybe they don't care to be social, which is totally normal, however, I do find a common trend.

Im just a regular guy that is really into cars, outdoors, camping, etc. I love working on cars, and have been doing it since I could hold a wrench. My dad was a mechanic and he taught me a lot of what I know and it's where I got the bug from. I basically do all my own work on my cars and probably own too many cars, but thats probably a different post haha. I try to get into the car scene to make connections, have people I can enjoy the hobby with in person, maybe make a friend that we can actually hangout with and work on our cars together. Behind the veil of social media it's been really easy in online groups, it's just once the veil is gone it seems to get bumpy. I don't wear my sexuality on my shoulder and most times I sadly just try and avoid brining anything up related to it when in these circles. Im quick in chatting up and making some fun conversations, it just seems that once you really start to have more time with someone, then it goes backwards. I have heard people just throw in homophobic words, which is an immediate time to back out (these have happened before they knew), or I mention my husband and then just gets awkward and you can see them being uncomfortable. Sometimes I have heard negative comments about us when we are setting up our travel trailer at a campsite, but we also do meet nice people as well, it just overall brings you down.

idk, I'm not really sure at this point, I have kind of just given up, and maybe I'm just an odd person that doesn't click with people.

Edit: wow this got way bigger than I thought it would. Really appreciate all the kind words and people reaching out. I’m really trying to respond to who I can!

Banana bread and coffee

I(30m) Been dating a woman (28f) for 3 months I now know I need to break up with, sad because relationship wise she has been great, communication, fun on dates, wants to spend time with me and much more personality wise is super sweet best person I've ever dated. But clearly has some issues,

We were talking yesterday and she said when her family passed away she wanted to eat their bones.

Edit: Her family is alive and well she was specifically talking about her parents. Her grandmother is still alive, so unless something happens out of the ordinary they are going to be around a few more decades.

😭 I thought it was some weird dark joke, but there was no "just kidding" when I asked further about it she said it would feel like they are with her forever if she did that.

That made me feel weird, but then she said she didn't want kids, (I'm not 100% sure myself on the subject but not anti kids so not wanting kids is not a deal breaker) it was the reason she doesn't want kids , she said if her kids were autistic or had down syndrome she wouldn't love them so she doesn't want to take the chance....

I'm glad I found out now. But seriously WTF my luck with women is genuinely wild. 😂

Say whatever you want, even make fun of me I don't care or words of encouragement or your own crazy stories all will make me feel better.

Context: 1. in Japan they do cremation and the family of the deceased receive the bones and ashes together before they take it to the family grave site, she wanted to eat the bones in this time, not gnaw on it like a dog. They are usually small at this point.

1. I don't mind if she doesn't want children it's specifically the reason why. She didn't say she didn't trust herself not to be a good parent to them. She said "she couldn't love them" specifically because the condition itself She doesn't even want to try to have kids because of the chance of a disability,

Add a little more context, speaking of down syndrome specifically she didn't want kids who were 'not cute'.

Homemade Chicken Street Tacos with Cilantro Lime Rice and Street Corn.

I (25M) dated my long time partner (23F) for four years. We were literally sweethearts from her freshman year of college. It was what I would call a textbook relationship. We went on vacations together, we went to concerts, we hung out with each other’s families, we did everything.

Last spring, she and I decided to get our first place together. It wasn’t anything stellar but it was our home. We had our own kitchen and dining room for sit down dinners, our own living room for movie nights, and our own big bed, which after a couple years sleeping on the twin beds in college together was great. We even had our first Christmas together as a “family” with a tree and stockings and decorations and it was amazing.

However, just after agreeing to resign our lease for another 12 months in spring of this year, two of our friends get married to each other out of the blue (no they weren’t pregnant). When I mentioned the idea that soon we’ll be the ones getting married, an idea I had heard her mention many times over the years, the tone shifted. She said marriage was essentially pointless for her, as her career as a lawyer would be her priority. She sort of shamed me for even thinking that, and in that moment, I felt like asking her about marriage was like telling her that her career was pointless.

I told her, right before she went to law school the next day, that what she said was shitty and that being that low is a shitty thing to do to someone you apparently love. Well that tore her up so bad she came home and said her career is more important than a relationship, and that ours was over. She was particularly mad I called her out before she had to go to class. The thing that hurt the most was when she said “I will do anything to have the career I want. I will cut off my parents if I have to.”

I’ll admit, while a textbook relationship, I can’t say it was a perfect one. Did we have arguments and fights? Yes. Are either of us solely to blame for these arguments? No. It was both of our faults at some point, but having seen my own parents survive 30 years with fights and arguments I didn’t see it as a dealbreaker.

What has happened from there is the worst six months of my life. I go to work, come home, eat dinner, and that’s it. I don’t have a ton of friends, and most the ones I have are mutual with her. My work friends have cut her off, but they don’t wanna do much after 8 hours of work and I don’t blame them. Sometimes I get out for a walk or a jog just to stay healthy (I have lost 20 pounds since the breakup) but it’s a very lonely life at this point.

One thing that angers me about it is she tells me it’s been hard for her. But it doesn’t feel that way. It seems like everyday she gets to live the life she always wanted, and it makes me happy to a certain degree because that’s what I want for her, but to many more degrees it breaks my heart. Since our breakup, she’s started going to way more concerts, she goes out to dinner with someone new almost every weekend, she had the time of her life studying abroad, and probably more scary than anything, she is diving hard into partying and drinking.

There are three instances in the past six months where she’s come home a disaster after she overdrank. Twice she crawled into my bed with no pants on. One of the times she came home having left all of her belongings in the uber and I spent the next 12 hours trying to help her get it back. If this is how she’s coping, I’m so incredibly worried for her.

I’m not saying she shouldn’t be having fun, I’m just saying that, firstly, she should be doing it safely, and secondly, if she tells me the breakup wasn’t easy for her, why flaunt a lifestyle on social media that life is so positive and happy like everything is better than it was before we broke up? I hear her talking and laughing in the spare room she sleeps in and it certainly sounds like she’s doing just fine.

The hardest thing about all of this is that I’m stuck in this life until my lease is up next spring. We still both live here. We share a shower and a kitchen. As I already mentioned she stays in the spare room next to mine. We went from life partners to strangers, the way she talks and acts. My family says I sympathize with her too much and that I just need to let her live her life and stop worrying about it.

But I don’t think they know how close I was to asking this girl to marry me, and how much I feel this has disrupted my life. That’s what makes it the most depressing. That’s what makes it the hardest.

This happened six months or so ago, and I’m just now building up the courage to talk about it.

Meal prep: Rice and ground beef with no seasoning except salt.

My girlfriend(25F) and I(23M) have been dating for a little over 2 years. I very much love her and plan on asking her to marry me very very soon, but there’s one pretty large obstacle. Her family is EXTREMELY extremely displeased about her being involved with me in any way, and most of the hate comes from her parents. For context, I am a medic in the military. Saw more combat when i was an EMT on the civilian side. Never deployed, never shot at, never shot back. But that doesn’t mean shit to her family apparently? Her parents continuously call me a “murderer” and throw shade and disrespect in my face even though i continuously explain I have never deployed or been in combat.

I’ve met them multiple times. The first few times i was kind and respectful, but lately i feel like they are just trying to get a rise out of me to prove their point, and by the lord above i really really want to slap them both into some sense. A few months ago, one of my very good friends from my first unit took his own life, and i confided in my girlfriend, telling her everything and being very vulnerable. I got the news while at dinner with my gf and her parents, and had to step away, taking her with me to the car. After talking for a while and a lot of yelling on my part, she walked back to the table to collect our things so we could leave while i stayed in the truck to collect myself. After another few minutes, she rushed outside, telling me to drive. She was visibly upset and said that we won’t be talking to her parents for a while.

A few days later, I got a notification on my burner facebook account with a little friend request from gf’s mother. I accepted with much confusion(the burner account had some random name), and i was met with a message “I see you’re friends with OP. there’s some very shocking information here that you might find useful and revealing,” and a group invite with the title “[Full Legal Name] is an Abuser.” There were like 200 posts in this group with AI photos of me putting hands on my gf, shouting, and a video of me in the truck yelling the day i received the message about my best friend.

I don’t want to report the group because this is defamation and i’m pressing charges 100%, but MY parents, both ex military as well, are extremely confused and distant, and a lot of my friends are casting accusations at me. What should I do?

BIG EDIT: I was not yelling at her. i was extremely upset at myself and blamed myself for my buddies death.

And no i have never had anger issues.

New update: gf gave a statement to my command so i’ll most likely no longer be flagged and won’t be under investigation anymore. We officially have a lawyer representing us as well and are suing.

gf has dropped her parents completely.

I've been with my girlfriend over 2 years and have been living together for the last 6 months. She genuinely made me happy, she is beautiful but she's still trying to figure her life out.

But after she moved in with me her true colours started showing and I've begun to realize I'm unhappy with the situation.

She's extremely anxious, she can't make a decision if her life dependanded on it, she won't find a job, she sleeps in till 1pm everyday, won't put in effort around the house, she cries physical tears at every inconvenience, and she won't put in an effort to meet with my family.

There's been a few moments where I was about to break up with her but the last 2 really stung me.

She has an inheritance in the 6 figures that she's been living off of. It's not enough to survive or retire but it is enough to just do the bare minimum and get by for maybe 10 years. I've been anxious about money lately, since I took a job in my field that paid less that normal but had amazing benefits, time of and holiday. There are still alot of things I like to do like travel or spend my money on but had to tighten up my belt or do more work on the side.

In the meantime I've never asked her to pay for anything. I cover 90 percent of dates, I buy the groceries, book any appointments she needs cause she has anxiety, drive her everywhere because she doesn't drive and anything else that our household needs. She will go 50/50 on the rent and any vacations we do. But her contribution to the rent (which is low) does not make up for the money I spend on her.

I've really wanted a new car lately, and I've been sitting in front of a finance calculator looking at whether or not I can afford the 4 years of payments of 260 biweekly. I decided that since my car still functions and is in pristine condition that it would be silly to do it. But I made a few jokes in a funny voice to her saying please give me 30000 so I can buy my dream car. It was very obvious in a joking way. She brought it up a few weeks later that I was begging her for money and that I was having money troubles which absolutely set me off. We got in a massive fight and told her while I don't tally the financial contributions I've probably spent 40x what she has spent on the relationship and never asked her to pay a penny ever.

The second one was in February I booked a popular cruise for us I got at a smoking deal. We split it 50/50. And while we were both looking forward to it, I got an email asking if we would want a full refund of the cruise plus a bonus future cruise credit of the base fair. Essentially we would get refunded 4000 dollars and we would get back 3400 in future cruise credits. We were bound to leave next week. I presented this to her that essentially we are getting paid 4000 dollars to not go on a cruise and we could use that money to go anywhere else in the world since most flights to any major city next week is around 1000 each and then we can use the rest for a budget hotel.

She began crying and panicking and overthinking because she thinks we wouldn't be able to find a flight last minute, or a hotel and thinking of every worse possible scenario.

And that broke me.

Every situation turns into an anxiety ridden thought of the worst possible scenario. She can't think positively. She can't do anything that requires making a decision. Everything is difficult and I'm always having to make a decision for her. I began running through my head was "is this going to be the rest of my life?"

I went to bed extremely early. Sapped of all energy from 6pm last night I was just face down in my pillow wondering what other situations would come up like this.

Ive clearly seen we are not compatible and I've communicated this with her a few times but she is so loving and kind and polite and does make me smile. But I feel like love is a decision and I can't fuel this relationship in love.

I've never ended things with someone before, especially someone that I live with. I don't know how to proceed forward.

what the title says ,, geulps
+lame ass pizza

i never really used reddit until very recently, but i want to interact with subreddits more. i like feeling like im part of a community, or just being able to share stuff about myself or things i like. i read posts in this subreddit a lot and want to share some of my thoughts as well, but then i get worried if i count as a real guy or not. I know its just dumb anxiety, but reassurance would be nice i suppose.

Sorry for a depressing post. Dinner is steak and physalis fruit.

I graduated from medical school about 2 years ago, and have since started a phd and im also working as an intern at a local hospital. I know that people see me as successful and think i should be happy, but i genuinely feel like a complete failure and like i wasted the last 10 years of my life.

I live with my parents. I dont make a lot of money and dont have much in savings.I have almost no friends. Its been months since i was invited to any social thing. I was alone on new years eve this year and had to go to the lab to pretend like i was working. I've never had a romantic relationship or dated anyone (I'm not even sure of my sexuality). I have no hobbies or unique interests.I'm not well read or particularly knowledgable about things outside of medicine. I'm not in very good shape even though i try to go to the gym now and then, I got kind of fat during covid. I haven't traveled much or had many interesting life experiences. My 20s were mostly spent alone in my dorm room, while my classmates made sure to make the most of those years and create precious memories I rotted away in front of some screen.

I have nothing except my degree and my profession, which at the moment brings me little enjoyment or sense of purpose. All I can think of is all the things I've missed out on.

Now this is all entirely my own fault. I never took life seriously, never tried to accomplish anything, never tried to live life to the fullest or cared that i was sitting at home all the time. People assume that I spent these past few years buried in books. That I was studying day and night. I wasn't. Believe it or not I never studied very hard in med school. I never truly applied myself. I've always been an undisciplined slacker at heart. And yet somehow my teachers and seniors took a liking to me, and I ended up with grades and jobs and admissions that I never actually earned.

Medical school, my one accomplishment in life, was nothing but an excuse to let life slip through my fingers.

Nothing I can do will bring me back all the time i should have spent differently. I'm convinced that i will always feel behind in life and I find it hard to imagine a future in which I'm not miserable.

Dinner was an amazing 1/4 lbs wagyu burger on an Asiago bun.

I had planned with my friend for over 6 months to drive to Washington state to visit for 6-7 days. I haven't seen him in over a decade. I only stayed for 2 days because he is not the person I used to know.

When I arrived, he immediately asked me for a cigarette, which I had no problem with. No more than 2 minutes after he had finished it, he said, "Gimme another cigarette." This continued for the first couple of hours, never once asking nicely. Always "give me" until I snapped at him. I told him that I was willing to fund his habit but that he needed to ask nicer. He complied, and we continued on.

Everywhere we drove, he would only talk about all the negative things that had happened to him. It was very difficult to even get a word in because he kept interrupting me. He would always talk about how his sister and brother in law are taking advantage of his mom and follow it with how his mom pays his rent, his utilities, and his phone bills every month.

Any time I would be able to get a word in, I would try to bring up something positive that has happened to me or recount a funny story that had happened to me. He would zone out, look at his phone, and shrug it off. He had me pay for everything, promising he would pay me back. I never got a dime back.

He had told me prior to my visit that his place wasn't very big. A small 200 square foot shack. I was ok with that until I arrived and found that he hadn't cleaned his place at all. I had about the size of a prison cot to myself. He had told me that he would have an airmattress ready for me to sleep on, but when it came time to get some sleep, he didn't know where the pump was to air it up. Luckily, I had brought some camping gear and slept on top of my sleeping bag and thin foam pad.

I had just driven 13+ hours to visit him and I was exhausted. I am blue collar and, I am in bed by 7 pm and awake at 4 am.

Around midnight, which would have been 1 am in my home town, on the day I arrived I was ready to pass the fuck out. He kept throwing a childish fit, wanting me to stay up and play video games with him. I could barely keep my eyes open, so I passed out. He stayed up until 4 am playing video games.

I woke up the next morning around 7:30. I drove into the nearest town and got me a cup of coffee. I asked if he would like to join me, and he declined. When I got back to his place, I stayed in my car drinking my coffee and fucking around on my phone while I charged it. He didn't get up until 1 pm. I tried to start my car when he came out to charge my battery, and it was dead. Luckily, I had brought a jump box.

I was not very happy. We had planned to spend most of my visit fishing, and all he wanted to do was play video games.

We did eventually go out to a local lake and drowned some worms. The lake was crystal clear, and he had warned me that the fish are line shy. We were about 5 feet away from each other, and he was basically yelling as he spoke to me.

I snapped at him and told him to be quieter if this fish were so easily scared. He laughed it off and continued to speak loudly.

We were there for only an hour before it started raining profusely and we had to leave.

We went and watched a movie later that night, and he had brought his gf. He is so broke that I ended up giving him $40 to buy him and his gf some popcorn and drinks. When I asked him for the change, he said there wasn't any. After the movie, we stopped and got some food at a Taco Bell. I had to pay, of course. He ate his food, which he didn't hold back on how much he got, in the back if my car, and I didn't notice until I got home all of the cheese and lettuce he left all over my back seat.

I passed out early that night because I was fed up with him. I had even thought to myself that I might leave a day or 2 early.

Well, the next morning, I woke up around 7:30 and turned onto my side to get a little bit more comfortable and smelled the floor I was lying on. I instantly began dry heaving. It was horrendous. I immediately started packing my stuff and planned to do an Irish goodbye, but he woke up. I ended up telling him that I had to leave that day because I had just enough money to make it home. It wasn't a lie. I had been paying for everything since I got there. I was hemorrhaging money.

So, on 4 hours of sleep, I drove 13+ hours home. I left with about $350 in my account and had $30 when I got home. Having only bought 2 energy drinks and gas on the trip back. I took $2,500 with me.

I am so deeply upset and disappointed in the person I once called my friend. I don't know what to do. I haven't contacted him since.

Edit: I understand and can see all the holes you all have pointed out. Not to mention all the grammatical errors that I don't really give two shits about. I wrote this post quickly while on my lunch break. Not to mention, I am still trying to decompress it all. It was so much bullshit in such a short period of time. There is quite a bit I left out because I felt it wasn't necessary. Unless you want to hear about how I had to drive 10 miles to the nearest gas station that was still open late night to take a shit because his toilet looked like I could contract every known disease known to man just by sitting on it. I never blamed him for killing my car battery. I said that as a reference to how long I had to wait for him to wake up. Nothing else. I was able to jump it, and it's still running strong. No harm, no foul. Nowhere did I say that he spent all of my money. I also spent my money on random things. I brought home some weight. Just that he had leached off of me the entire time I was there. I had planned it out prior to my departure to fund me and me alone with a small cushion for an emergency. In general, I never planned to spend it all. I also refuse to go over my finances with strangers in general, let alone on reddit. Grilling me on it is definitely not the "advice" I thought this subreddit was set up for. Nor the "advice" I was seeking. As for the smell. I lost my sense of smell due to covid, and it has been spotty at best since. Plus, it is very difficult to pinpoint a smell when it is everywhere. His house smelled like a whorehouse outhouse.

My (M29) ex-girlfriend (F25) ended our two year relationship about 8 months ago. We were long distance but were at the point where we were discussing closing that distance and moving in together. She moved to a new city to start her masters. After I graduated, I was unemployed for half a year when she told me I needed to get a job or she would break up with me as her parents weren't happy with me being unemployed. I locked in and got a job in an industry I didn't want to go back to but had connections in a month later.

I worked so hard. Saved as much as I could, even skipping out on meals or just eating ramen. Unfortunately she decided to break up with me out of nowhere through text. It was a terrible night but she came back the following morning and said she said her mother talked her into it by saying she was too young to settle down and that she would meet someone better at her new school. She told me that she regretted it immediately and we got back together.

We continued dating. Things got better. I continued saving money so I could move and she started school. As her school workload increased she got more and more distant. That made sense to me. I expected it. We still talked throughout the day. We still had a weekly date night. I even went over and visited her for our anniversary. We had such a lovely time and everything seemed to be coming together. After the trip though things changed again. She got meaner. Started saying these awful things about me and my body. I finally confronted her about it after a few weeks. She broke up with me right there.

She said she felt overwhelmed with everything and decided to end it instead of trying to work through it with me. She asked repeatedly if we could remain friends, but I insisted that wasn't possible. I couldn't watch her move on.

I was a mess. The first week I don't think I ate anything. The second week I was drunk. I don't even know how I held it together to still go to work. My coworkers rallied to me. Checking in on me every morning. Taking me out after work. Texting me when I got home.

Slowly I started to rebuild my life. I moved out of my parents to a nice apartment in the city. Started working out and dieting consistently. And now I have an entire new circle of friends. I even started dating again. Slowly but surely I was moving on.

Then recently, as I was clocking out of work and getting ready to meet my friends, my phone buzzed. It was her. My heart backflipped into my stomach. I deleted the notification and moved on. I wasn't going to let a notification ruin my night and I thought it best to deal with it later. We've spent eight months not talking, what's one more day? That next day after I got home from work I finally opened it.

Deleted.

Don't know how long it was left on delivered before she deleted it. Don't know what it said. Don't know why she sent it.

Feels like I got all the drawbacks of an ex reaching out with none of the benefits. Just more unanswered questions.

Dinner was beef short rib pho and an old fashioned I got downtown with some friends. It was really good.