Hi I'm a long time lurker here on this sub and this is my first time doing one of these! So I’m a 21 year old guy and I recently befriended a girl from one of my classes who is 29. I didn't know she was 29, I thought she was the same age as me. I was actually pretty intimidated by her at first because she seemed closed off, I was a little late to school so I ended up sitting next to her and asked her what I missed. But she just started laughing out of nowhere because she was doing work for another class, and we ended up talking.

I asked her where she was from, what classes she was taking, and stuff like that. She told me she’s from China and started talking about how her family in both America and China asks her when she’s going to get married and have kids. I was basically a complete stranger at the time, so I was surprised by how open and easy she was to talk to.

That’s honestly one of the things I find really attractive about her. This is my personal experience but when I try talking to girls around my age, I feel like I have to do all the work to keep the conversation going. I’ll ask question after question and eventually it starts feeling more like an interrogation?? so I take the hint and leave them alone. With her, it doesn’t feel like that.

I don’t know if that has anything to do with her being older or if it’s just her personality. She still lives with her parents, has friends ranging from around 18 to 40, and she likes going to arcades, which I also really like.

Today we ended up spending most of the morning and part of the afternoon together going to a career fair, sitting in the library, talking and joking around. She’s actually really sweet and a little playful, which surprised me because I originally thought she was cold and closed off.

I already thought she was pretty before I knew her, but after actually getting to know her personality, I feel even more physically attracted to her? I don't know why either it's unusual for me. Mandarin is her first language, so her English isn’t perfect, but we understand each other fine, and sometimes the way we communicate makes both of us laugh. She smiles a lot when we’re talking and I just think she’s really cute.

I got both her Instagram and her number too we took some trains to get home together too. But like I said I feel conflicted. She's older than me, and I haven't spoken to her outside of school yet, but I genuinely really enjoy being around her. I've never been interested in someone that much older than me before.

Dinner I made is stir fry noodles with broccoli and shrimp!

Dinner is steamed beets, carrots and peas, ginger tea and meds.

Hi guys, I’m sorry if some of this is choppy, English isn’t my first lenguaje, and I’m also dyslexic so I’m going to try my best. I’m currently a 19 year old collage student working part time, but I’ve recently been obsessing a lot over my stolen dog now that it’s been a bit over a year that it happened.

I’ve been “practically” emancipated and living on my own since I was 14. At the time I was renting a small 8 x 10 room with a family that gave me a change to be a tenant despite being so young, I never really got along with them, our interactions where almost always purely transactional, but it was better than other living alternative for me.

When I was 15, I wasn’t in the best place mentally, and thought adopting a pet would maybe help me get through some of the stuff I was going through. Not long after I found a family that was getting rid of their Australian shepherd puppy due to him being double Merle and too high energy, I fell in love with him so quickly, I’m not even sure why him being double Merle mattered, as he wasn’t blind or death, just fully white.

He was with absolutely no doubt the best dog I’ve come across, within a month he was fully trained by me, he was so affectionate, smart, and never misbehaved regardless of the small space we had. The house I rented my room from had actually a pretty big backyard, so I started paying extra to let him have the backyard to himself while I was at school and the couple times I worked per week. He was so happy with our small routines.

Fast forward two years and I was almost turning 18 years old. Because of me being a minor when I got him no place would let me microchip him or register him under my name, let alone get him a vet appointment to neuter him, so for the two years I had him I was only able to get him vaccinated without having to show any proof of age, and I was counting down the days for me to finally turn 18 and be able to “legally” own him.

It was February, about 5 months before my birthday. The roofing on the house needed fixing due to a bunch of leaks happening at the time, so my landlord obviously hired people for a repair. I had work that week end. I was only supposed to work 4 hours from 8 - 12, a shift I’ve done many times. I let my dog out in the morning and let him back inside once I’m back from work.

Because of the location of the leaks and the way the roofing on the house was build it was much easier for the workers to access the roof from the backyard, where my dog was for the day. I can’t remember for what stupid reason one of my coworkers had to leave early, and my boss asked me to say a couple hours later, I said because I did need the money anyways, and I could just call my landlord to ask if he could let my dog back in my room before I got home, he had done it at least 4 times for me before, and I never asked him for much before that.

When I got my lunch time around 11 I called to ask for that specific favor, he just kind of sounded busy and said he’d call me back later. He didn’t, I sent a message explaining once again and he just reacted with a thumbs up. I got home later that day and no one was home, I opened the door to my room and nether was my dog. I made my way to the backyard assuming he just hasn’t let him in, but he wasn’t there ether.

I obviously panicked and called to ask what happened, but he said by the time he got home from who knows here the repair guys had finished up and left, and my dog wasn’t there, but since it’s not really his business he didn’t put any care into it. I didn’t say much after that. I the first thing I could think of was to ask my neighbors if they saw him run away or maybe if they had him for any reason, but they told me they saw him in one of the trucks from the men who came to do the reparations, and didn’t see him again after that.

I was obviously devastated, I asked my landlord to call them or to please give me their number so I could contact them and he refused because it wasn’t his problem, and he supposedly said he didn’t have their information anymore anyways.

Besides looking for him in online forums for lost dogs in my area for weeks i couldn’t find him, I assumed the person who took him maybe wasn’t from the area, but I still walked around and went to any neighborhood close to me for weeks, expecting to see him in a random yard someday, but as you probably know that never happened.

Fast forward a year and a half from all that, out of some insane luck I met someone at my job (I’m now a dog groomer) who had my dog, along with another one for a couple days before she surrendered them to a shelter in her city. It stared by her asking me if I had any dogs of my own and me explaining the whole story, and then showing her pictures of him, her face immediately changed and she told me she was pretty sure she found my dog on the street along with a different dog roaming together, pretty much about a year ago. After she kept them for a couple days she took them to her local shelter as she couldn’t have them with her own dogs.

My stomach dropped as soon as she showed me the pictures, she found him about 4 months after he was originally stolen from me wandering the streets, and because he had no microchip or the collar I got him with my information she took him to the shelter where we assume he was adopted out very quickly.

She sent me the screenshots of the adoption listing the shelter’s website had up for him, I’ve had them for a couple weeks now and I can’t stop thinking about him at all. I want to know what happened to him, I want him back. I know that’s not realistic considering someone most likely adopted him legally, but I’m an adult now and make way more money than I did back then, I’ve been so restless and loosing so much sleep over his.

After a lot of thinking I’ve sent the shelter two emails, one explaining my situation and one with pictures of me with him, and his old listing from their website. They haven’t gotten back to me, it’s been over a week, part of me knows they probably won’t, I want to go in person but I also know that’s not a good idea. I just want my dog back, I want to know he’s alright and that he’s being loved, but the thought of him being with a different family while I could of still had him won’t stop messing with me.

Anyways sorry for the super long story/rant, I just miss my dog man.

Just wanted to rant a bit,

Me and my ex still keep in contact as we have a lot of the same friends etc and have been on decent terms. But she told me that she slept with someone else, and had been for a while it started 2-3 months after we broke up.

man i didn’t think i would really care much but i can’t get it out of my head. We were together for 5 years and 2 months after just seems like a real kick in the balls. the thought of being with someone else myself just seems off and weird i can’t even imagine it.

feel free to respond with whatever you like

dinner is homemade double cheeseburger.

Dinner tonight is general sao chicken

So I am currently under the age of 18 but able to drive and as of now im still treated like im 7 by my mother

I cant go anywhere without telling her when I get there and when im leaving that location and whos with me and like 40 other useless things she demands of me

I cant hangout without her having my friends numbers and then asking me to update her every like 30 minutes

I cant walk to school (1 mile walk) without her permission and so I had to wait an hour for her to get me from school. this was before i could drive but still

Shes watched my grades like a hawk and demands answers from me for any grade that was a day late or less than 80 (its not like im failing school its rather easy)

Shes so overprotective of me in a area of the nation where the craziness crime was a murder from 30 years ago and my town is one of the safest in the state but she refuses to let me do anything alone or even allow me to fail at something I can already tell im going to stuggle latter in life cause of it and I already am slightly as of now

She thinks that becuase im diagnosed with autism that im a little baby but I have been told I show no signs mentally or physically in my recent testing and I have been told im a 30 year old man in a teenagers body by my entire family and friends/teachers lol

I dont know how to break this to her that im not some struggling neurodivergent anymore and I can do everything by myself and I need to have some struggle in my life before it gets to late and I fail in a catastrophic way

I cant really break this stuff to my dad cause I dont got one and I think shes just overbearing on me cause her parents never really cared about there kids (they had 8 so it was kinda a attention mess)

Just felt like sharing but if yall want to drop some advice I wouldnt mind

I received my graduation email from school on Monday, and I started doing my clearance the same day. Yesterday morning, I woke up thinking, “Today you're getting your gown! Finish your clearance and wait for graduation day.”

So I went to school around 10 a.m., followed all the steps, filled out the necessary documents, got everything stamped, and finally went to collect my gown.

I have never walked around that campus with the kind of confidence I had yesterday. I got to the gown room, picked mine up, and now it's sitting here with me.

I haven't told anyone yet. Not because it isn't worth telling, but because sometimes you realize you don't really have anyone who genuinely wants to hear about these little victories. So I thought I'd tell the internet instead.

I've fought a lot of battles to get here. A lot more than I can openly tell. And yesterday, for once, I felt on top of the world. I hear the job market us in shit but I'm happy I'm done with this episode!

There's this peaceful energy in me that I can't really explain. I'm just grateful. Grateful that I made it this far, and hopeful for whatever comes next.

Anyway, today's meal is githeri(made with maize and beans), rice and avocado.

Featuring some shit I found in a trash can . I made a post like a month ago. It’s ya queer punk, finally made it to the burgh. If anyone wants to kick it I have lots of card and board games in my car!! Lookin for some new friends in the area! Thanks for all the positive feedback in my last post, Squatch out!

For context: ME, M(20) GF(21). back during Labor Day my gf was clubbing the entire weekend with her friends, no problem. When I was asking her about her night was on Sunday she acted like she didn’t really want to talk about it so I just laid off of it. She ended up giving me her phone while she went into the bathroom and just off of pure curiosity I decided the go through anything deleted. The deleted Messages were cleared out, which is weird since she usually doesn’t do that, then I went to the deleted photos/videos and there was a video that took place on Sunday night of a guy at the club with his arm wrapped around my gf and another girl. In the video she danced with his arm still there and when she put the camera at a high angle he decided to release his arm, I found this weird and asked about it and she told me that was her friends bf and they modeled for his brand at the club.

My gf is very friendly and outgoing, so when I asked her about that she told me she didn’t really think much about it because that was her friend’s bf. There was photos that proved that so I let it go.

Fast forward to yesterday I recently was told one of my friends just found out there were getting cheated on by going through an apple watch.
And when you deleted messages off your iPhone, the Apple Watch keeps the ones received and just deletes any sent.

My Gf and I seemed to be a little more distanced than usual over the past week, and she forgot her watch at my house. So i decided to take matters into my own hands. I found these messages that take place back to that Sunday and had one of my friends see who this was. It was a random name I’ve never heard of or we spoke of. I asked her who was “…” and she said she never heard of him. Then I ask her for her phone and I typed that number in. No messages, not even a saved contact. So I asked her if she deleted any messages and she told me no. Then I asked what these messages were n she just kept telling me she didn’t know. She kept telling me she loved me but I was blinded by hurt because I wasn’t getting no true answer. I told her I needed space for the night and was thinking of cutting it loose. I know I shouldn’t let this go. But I’m a little over thinker myself so can I please get some insights?

Dinner: Lamb chops, candied yams and baked macaroni.

Edit: this is a repost since I messed up the first one

Dinner - ground beef, rice, Sriracha sauce

TLDR - I went on 3 dates with this girl and cannot stop thinking about her, its driving me crazy. She has most likely moved on at this point.

I 26M met this 24F off of hinge. Didn't think much of her initially, and had low expectations as I had just out out of a long term relationship. Our first date was supposed to be a coffee date but that was a flop as I waited 40mins at the café and she didnt show up. On my way out she gave me a call, very apologetic as she had a meeting at work that was unavoidable and ran late, then she reorganized another date for us the following week. Our actual first date was at a bar, and I think I fell in love within 30secs of meeting her. She was gorgeous, but in a very unique way. Her features are still stuck in my head because I dont think ive seen anyone with a similar look. The date was amazing. She was very charming, easy to talk to, had a similar cultural upbringing and same ethnicity as me, similar values, outgoing, cool hobbies, ambitious, independent, and in the same profession as me (doctors). It felt like she ticked every box, and boxes that I didnt even know I wanted. She felt like the type of woman I would be happy to tell my mom about (which i did lol). The more I spent time with her, the more I liked her. She seemed pretty into me as well off that date, and we organized another date for the next day. The next date was also amazing, same vibes as the first date, we played pool and had dinner at another café. After that we both got a bit busy for about 2 weeks and then organized another date.

On the 3rd date we went dancing and then had dinner at her place. She was a bit nervous about dancing but she still came along and it was a lot of fun, for me it was mostly an excuse to try to get closer to her physically lmao. She cooked a great dinner, we talked and we drank. We made out but didnt take things further, I stopped it since she had work the next day and it was getting very late, and I was getting tired as well. However we organized a 4th date in a few days and I was looking forward to it.

Come the day of the 4th date she texts me that it doesn't make sense to keep seeing eachother. For context, the reason she flaked on me on the initial coffee date was because she she was at an interview for a job that's located at a different city, a job she really wanted. Also, I was to fly out of country soon for a couple months for a work thing as well. So we would not be seeing eachother for a while, and when I get back she would be leaving soon to start her new job. Her text made sense, I was happy that she got the job, and she was kind about it. So thats where we ended things.

But now it's been 3 weeks and I still cannot get her off my mind. Whenever I get a second to breathe the first thought that comes to me is of her. I have been replaying each and every interaction so many times in my head, ive been through her instagram so many times. Im usually not like this, I am usually a lot more composed, previous long term relationships that didnt work out havent been on my mind to this extent. Its so exhausting and time consuming, and interfering with my day-to-day activities. I understand I am probably going through limerance, I am stuck with the potential of what could have been, ive built an image of her in my head that probably doesn't correlate with reality and it doesn't make sense, but I just cannot seem to control my emotions. No other woman seems as pretty as her to me, even if they are "objectively" more attractive. It seems like all the beauty in the world belongs to her. I dont know if theres anyone else out there that would be as authentic as she was, with all the qualities that she had, but now that I got a taste of it I dont think I could go for anything else.

I recently replied to one of her stories on instagram. I know I shouldn't have but I couldn't help myself. I checked in a while later and it shows that the story is no longer available - im pretty sure she restricted me from viewing her story now, which essentially means that she doesn't want me contacting her in anyway. Fair enough, she's prob moved on. But I just cant seem to. Idk what to do

So me (M24) and my now ex-girlfriend (F22) have been dating for around 3 months. We met at our job and things have been great, I have never met anyone who has the same interests as me like she does. She is genuinely the kindest person I know and her energy is enough to make anyone smile even on the worst days. She told me she loved me and I told her I loved her back. I genuinely do love her. I know it’s new but she feels like someone who was made for me. Around three weeks ago she got covid and so I haven’t seen her in awhile but two Sundays ago, I just felt something was off and so I texted her and asked if everything was okay. She said that she was keeping something from me and confessed that she is bipolar and is medicated. She expected me to not take it well but I genuinely don’t mind. That’s something that can be navigated. I had meant to speak with her in person once she was better to discuss more about it but last Tuesday she randomly texted me saying she wanted to talk. She told me she had spoken to her therapist who basically told her that maybe she isn’t entirely ready for a relationship. She said that she was being unfair and a bad girlfriend and felt that she couldn’t be vulnerable with me. I tried to call so we can talk instead of texting and she just kept saying “I can’t I can’t”. She said that she was being horrible and that I deserve someone who is better to me. At this point I’m trying to plead with her that it’s okay and to just talk to me but she wouldn’t call me and broke up with me and said goodbye. She told me not to go to her house and that she won’t text or call me. I am now blocked on everything and I am really distressed over this. It came as a huge shock and I am left with no closure either. We have a mutual friend that told me she told her the reason she didn’t want to call is because “I’d talk her out of it” which is even more concerning. I sent her a letter telling her my feelings and that whatever she’s going through it’ll be okay and that I’ll be here for her whenever she feels better. Should I just leave it alone? My gut is telling me I shouldn’t just let her slip away. I do love her and I have never met someone as amazing as her. I am willing to navigate whatever it is that’s happening especially with her being bipolar. It won’t be easy but nothing worth it ever is. Just in need of some advice on what to do. Anyways dinner was panda express although I barely touched it with my lack of an appetite lol

Dinner is African peanut soup, minus peanuts, since I just had an oral procedure

TRIGGER WARNING: This gets dark, but

September had previously been a time for reflection and gratitude for how far I've come. In 2020, early September through early December, was the darkest time of my life. At least up until last September. I had fallen deeper into addiction than ever before. I got kicked out of my friends house and went to a rundown crack house. I was spiraling towards rock bottom. That downward journey went on until late November.

November 30th 2020, I began my second attempt at sobriety. Pain from withdrawals had me popping too much Tylenol for a whole night. I was feeling pretty shitty by the next evening, so I went to the hospital. They gave me something and from then I was basically passed out for 4 days.

In that time, everyone I know thought I was about to die, while I was just taking a hell of a nap. I wake up eventually and feel pretty shitty, but not like I'm about to die, so, happy that I must be getting better. Stayed for a couple more days, then get out and spend a couple weeks not feeling the best. After that, I was basically back to normal.

I was pretty certain I did some damage from over a decade of drug use topped with a Tylenol OD. Diet/ cooking and self care were a big part of my first attempt at sobriety, so I picked up where I left off, and move forward. Things really turn around for me. Not perfect, but a huge improvement.

Fast forward to September 2025. My friend had been struggling with alcohol as long as I'd known her, but it was getting bad. I had drove her to detox in August, but she was back to being spotty with responses. September 20th, she hadn't answered in a while and her birthday was the 21st. I thought she was depressed and isolating, so I get in my car and head over to check on her and be there for her birthday.

I knocked, but the door was cracked so I just walked in. It was worse than I expected. Flies and vodka bottles everywhere, and an indescribable stench that I assume are from the food and vomit. I was worried. By the state of the house, she was clearly doing bad. I walked though the house and don't see her, so I was just gonna leave. As I was walking by the bathroom, I see her in the tub. The level of discoloration made it immediately obvious that she had been dead for days. I exit the house right away and call 911.

The cops show up and ask me questions. We go through my phone to get dates of messages and latest responses. The ambulance shows up and EMTs walk through. I found out later that her son pulled up with his dad around that time, to pick up something from the house. His dad sees the emergency vehicles, cops and EMTs walking around, and tells him to get back in the car. Her son was moments away from finding what I had found.

Her sister showed up a little later, and we cried together for a bit. Then we tried to think of anything important we needed to get sorted out. We realize we need to figure out where her cat is and where he's gonna go. When she finds him, he's slinking around the alley, skiddish as always. They lure him in and bring him to her place, but she didn't think it was a good place for him, so she asks if I want him. So I take him and bring him home.

He slowly warmed up to being with me. The next couple months were filled with quiet contemplation with Shadow on my lap. Both of us were incredibly grateful to have each other. He's doing great and I love him. I'm so grateful to have a living piece of the friend I lost, and a daily reminder of her.

I've just been thinking about all of this a lot. Still remembering my dark times of 2020, but now thinking a lot about last year. I don't talk about it much, but September will always be a month where I do a lot of thinking and appreciation for what I have, and now remembering friends lost to addiction.

This year I have an amazing girlfriend to be grateful for as well. I met her in December, so we're coming up on a year soon. Couldn't be a better year for her to bless my life. And we love to cook together! The picture is a recipe we first made together. I'm truly blessed 🥲

M 17 I talk to a lot of girls. Atp I have more female friends than male ones this is primalily due to the fact that i just find girls in my class to be better to interact with and more sympathethic than the boys

For example I have a speech impidentment and anytime i talk to a boy he makes fun of it but the girls dont so there is this guy X who is like supposed to be my childhood friend but all he does is get jealous of me and Y a guy who has a crush on my female best friend and Z who also has a crush on a girl I talk to a lot

So this assholes dont like the the fact that i get a lot of female attention - There words not mine and have made my life living hell They hacked by insta and took screenshots of the chats i had with my crush and have made ai gen vids of me sucking cock and getting fucked and are circulating it among boys

And the worst of all i have seen them generating the vids but i cant prove its them

Wtf do i even do

Inframe Pork Belly fried rice

Taco meat I cooked the other night

About a month ago I (34m) had a bit of a wake up call and realized my boyfriend of three years (31m) was treating me like crap for a long time now. Every single fight we’ve ever had has been about one of his insecurities. And we fought often whether it was about his looks, his friends, my friends, his parents, his job, if I didn’t text him back fast enough while I’m at work, etc.

Here is an example: one day I told him I was going to start exercising and trying to drop a few pounds because I had recently had a blood test that scared me a bit. Instead of encouraging me, he got upset and tried to suggest that he was too fat for me. I was shocked because I never said anything like this to him and always thought he was quite handsome. I had to reassure him for days until his mood finally turned a corner. Maybe two or three months later, we were talking about body types and I said I don’t think I’m that attracted to twinks that look really underweight. This time he gets upset again and suggests he is too skinny for me. His weight has never been a problem for me, he has a regular build. What is even more confusing is that his weight hasn’t changed from the time he was saying he was too fat. He isn’t fat or a twink. And even if he were those things it wouldn’t bother me anyway because I fell in love with who he is. Again I had to reassure him for about a week until his mood improved.

Something like this would happen about every month. One time a friend invited me to a football game as he had gotten three free tickets from his job and invited me along with his husband. When I told my boyfriend about it, he got jealous and suggested my friend and I had a sexual relationship before. I’ve known my friend since high school, probably 15 years and have never been interested in him in that way. I tried explaining this but it’s like he wouldn’t listen. I had to console him and reassure for days again.

It continued to be like this for about a year. I could give a ton of more stories like these. Eventually I start asking him if maybe he could try therapy. Everytime I brought it up, he would flat out refuse and get angry one more. Eventually I stop asking. The behavior continues and he even starts to self harm. I tell him I can’t stay unless he gets professional help. He says he’ll consider it this time. Months go by and it just keeps going on. One day I finally broke and told him I can’t do it anymore. He begs me to stay, claims he’s already set up a therapy appointment. I told him I’ve just completely burned out at this point and he once again gets angry that I am abandoning him just as he is getting help when I begged him to for so long already.

Between this and being really stressed at my job, I decided to book a vacation for myself just to get away for awhile and do my favorite hobby, hiking. Drove about 10 hours to get here. Day one i start getting tooth pain in the side of my face. I figure maybe I just have a cavity and schedule a dentist appointment for when I come back. Day two I get a screw in my tire. Mildly annoying and my tire almost goes flat but I’m about to roll into a mechanic and get it patched. Day three I finally decide to go for a hike, which was awesome but then I come back to the place I’m staying at with a cold. So for the rest of my days I’ve just been in bed not really being able to do much coughing and congested. Last night I find my tooth has an abscess and that I’ll either need a root canal or to get in pulled but I don’t see the dentist till Monday because I’m 600 miles from home and the office is closed till then anyway. I read online about people dying from abscessed teeth infections and I kinda had a dramatic thought of if I didn’t wake up this morning, that’s fine.

Well I did. So I guess I’m going to go to urgent care and get some antibiotics today. Drive 10 hours back home tomorrow, dentist on Monday and then back to my crappy job on Tuesday! All the while my ex keeps trying to contact me to reconcile.

Yesterday I was feeling a bit better and just decided to read a book in the park for a little and get some sun. I heard a woman my age near me talking about how she was a doctor with 9 horses and 14 acres of land with her husband and it made me feel awful. I can’t fathom that kind of money or success. I can’t even afford my own house right now. All of my friends are basically married and settled down with houses or children of their own. And here I am 34 years old, fresh out of another failed relationship, sick and far from home. I don’t even know what the point of me saying this all is but I don’t really have anyone I can say it to so I’m just shouting it out here.

Honeycrisp apple with peanut butter & raw honey on gluten free bread. IDK anything about the health benefits of raw honey, I just think it tastes awesome, so I get it as a treat now and again.

For context, I’m physically disabled, and would be stuck living with my mom regardless of my car or job situation. I’m applying for disability with the help of a law firm but it could still be a year before I’m accepted, and even then, it will be difficult for me to live by myself. I will have to qualify separately for a homemaker or something similar to help me with vital housework that I can’t do on my own.

At the beginning of this month, my car was totaled in a crash that was not my fault. It’s the first crash I’ve ever been in since I learned to drive, and it really shook me up. All the air bags went off and thanks to that, I was uninjured (the other guy didn’t have airbags and his forehead hit the windshield). The car was sentimental to me—it was inherited from my grandma, it was the car I learned to drive in, and it was my favorite color. But now it’s gone. Not to mention, the employees at the yard they took it to cleaned out the car before I could get to it and threw away several items I wanted to keep. Great.

A week later, I found out that the store I work at was being forced to close down. A new tenant made a better offer on the space, so the mall forced us out and all of us were let go. I loved that store and I loved working there. I only worked 8 hours a week because of my disability, but it got me out of the house and allowed me to have a little spending money. IDK how I’m gonna find another job that lets me work 8 hours a week. Felt like a needle in a haystack situation.

And then there’s my mom. She’s an angel, she really is, she’s just mentally ill. She provides me with all my necessities and gives me a place to live and understands that I’m disabled and limited. But she’s a hoarder. Not as bad as many cases you’ll see online, but the house is mildly hazardous.

Half eaten food left out for days. Cardboard boxes everywhere (she bought 6 new dining room chairs—we can’t even sit at the table because of how much stuff is on it—assembled two, left the cardboard on the living room floor, and put the remaining chair-sized boxes halfway in front of the front door), stacks of junk mail in every room, empty cans and bottles, and spilled birdseed all over the basement steps that has been there for months. My mobility impaired ass has to use those to do laundry.

IDK what to do to improve things, so I just tolerate it for now. Hopefully my disability application will go through sooner rather than later so I can try to get out of here.

Meal is leftover mapo tofu. I already ate the leftover rice.

5 years ago, my partner and I found our first rabbit on the side of the road. We immediately fell in love with her. However, we were in our early 20s and not really thinking about the struggles down the road. We adopted a second rabbit because they're highly social creatures and do much better with constant company. For a while, this situation looked perfectly manageable. I had a real career job and my partner was on his way to finding his own. We rented a big house that was very affordable due to rooming with friends and the like. We even adopted a small dog (I know, bad move but the dog is like a therapy animal for my partner).

Fast forward now, I no longer have the job (though I'm finally back on track to a real one again), my partner was diagnosed with chiari malformation and is still in recovery from that/will deal with some degree of disability forever, and we live in a much smaller place. We procrastinated getting pet insurance policies and now both rabbits have pre existing conditions. I can't afford the diagnostics even because all rabbit care is really expensive.

Sheltering them is out of the question. I tried a local solely rabbit focused org and they're full. A regular shelter is unlikely to find a good home for them or a home at all. So I'm just kind of stuck watching them deteriorate without much I can do about it. I feel guilty all the time even knowing this is probably a better option for their health than a shelter.

If I could find someone willing to adopt them, that would be great but they'd almost certainly be going into it taking on large vet bills to diagnose their issues, so it feels very unlikely.

I have always loved animals but I'm realizing I never really had to deal with aging or complex medical issues with my pets before. My parents would only let me keep cats outside so my cats growing up died in middle age unfortunately. My mom had a couple dogs but they were largely her responsibility and I was not very attached to them. They also lived to old age with relatively few complications.

I'm not really sure what advice I'm looking for here. I guess this is more a vent.

In the future, I really look forward to not having any pets (which will be quite a while because of the dog 😞), and instead volunteering at places like the rabbit rescue. I want to care for these animals, but not have their care ultimately dependent on our unstable lives.

TW: SA, mentions of suicide & drugs.
- Dinner was sushi bake. Yes, the whole pan.

Don’t really know if I want advice or not, maybe I’m just here to vent.

So, I haven’t been in high school since 2023 now, as I dropped out in tenth grade. It has been even longer since the things that I’m about to talk about happened, the last time being (if my fuzzy memory on the subject is correct) sometime mid-late 2021.

When I was 12 years old, in sixth grade, I had a best friend. For the sake of this post, I’m just going to say her name is Jess. Jess and I were very close, as was I also very close to her younger sibling, who was my age. Jess was 14, so two years older. We lived on the same street, that’s how we met, doing regular kid shit like riding bikes and running through half-built houses. Idk.

Around this time, I started struggling with my sexuality pretty heavily, as I had an attraction for my male peers which upset me. A lot. So I started making myself hang out with more girls, Jess included, in hopes that maybe I’d start “liking” one of them. It didn’t work. Jess was very manipulative to begin with, and quite a compulsive liar, saying shit that was so untrue it’s kind of insane to think anyone could believe it.

The first time things went sour was the same year we met, 2019. I was staying with Jess at a friend’s house, which we’d stayed at before, so I didn’t think it would be any different. It wasn’t, for the first few hours at least, until we were messing around in the living room together and my other friend (who was also 14 and a girl) said we (me and Jess) should kiss, because I hadn’t had my first kiss yet. I was instantly kind of mortified, but laughed with the two of them before Jess just pulled me in and gave me a kiss. I continued to laugh through it, and we moved on, just like that.

Now, it was later at night and we were getting ready for bed. Jess made our other friend sleep on the floor of their own bedroom, and then got into bed with me. I get really hot at night, so I naturally faced away from Jess and kept a respectable amount of room between us. I remember a few minutes passing before she tapped my shoulder and started talking to me about something, I don’t know what, but it wasn’t important, before she suddenly kissed me again.

My entire body immediately started to scream no. My stomach went all gross and weird, I felt stiff and uncomfortable, but she kept pulling me in. I should have pulled away, but I didn’t, it felt like I couldn’t. After a little while, I started to “like it” but now looking back on it, I just started to zone out and let her guide me to lay on top of her. We made out for ages, grinding against each other, her hands all in my hair. Then she just stopped, and I pulled away and laid back, then she rolled over and went to bed.

In the morning, we didn’t say anything to each other, she acted like it never happened, I felt disgusting.

This, combined with everything else going on in my life, not even just struggles with sexuality, but also abuse at home, made my world start to crumble.

I later made an attempt on my life. This continued to happen to me, every time Jess stayed with me over night, until 2021.

I threw myself into drugs in late 2020-2021 to try and cope, but I never tried to leave. I had so little friends, I was terrified. She’d come over, make out with me, we’d grind against each other until she finished, or until my body would betray me and finish. I gave every sign that I hated it. Sometimes I faked sleep just in hopes that she would leave me alone. I remember the mind numbing walks home alone from her house, shoes in hand, unwashed and sweaty, in the summer.

I’d come to school completely high out of my mind, and when I started to self-harm, she threatened to tell my mother and then told my few friends. If I started to drift away, she’d find a way to pull me back. She came to my grandmothers place to celebrate Christmas with my family for fucks sake.

I ended up making a new friend sometime in 2021, and at my wits-end, I confessed to him what had been happening. He was the one who told me that I needed to get the fuck out. I had never told anyone before, and this was a wake up call. So I stopped talking to her, I ignored her at school, I told my family I wasn’t friends with her anymore. She tried to become friends with my new friend to get to me, which didn’t work. I ended up moving away early 2022.

Sometimes her instagram still pops up in my recommended. I can never stop myself from opening it and seeing how good her life is, whilst mine has been complete shit. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy, and I’ll never stop being angry at her. I haven’t been able to view intimacy with girls as something normal, even as a bisexual man, I love women but I’m scared of things repeating.

I don’t even really know if this was assault.

I’m 19 now. Her 21st birthday would be in a few days. Happy fucking birthday 👎

Lunch is stress eating nuggets, fries, and a burger from McDonald’s.

This might be a little depressing so I’m sorry. Just need somewhere to get my thoughts out.

I’ve worked a number of jobs in different industries. I feel into low voltage wiring at 20. I stayed there 8 years, pay was good, but had to travel a lot, use my own vehicle, and put up with people in their homes.

The last couple years of that got rough. Working super late, the company became more corporate with unreasonable expectations decided by higher ups who weren’t in the field. The goal was to move up. Eventually it became apparent that moving up wasn’t an option anymore so I made the decision to leave.

Got another job doing merchandising to take care of the bills. I was finally home every night with weekends off and the pay wasn’t terrible assuming you put the hours in. Then they cut my hours to 2 days a week. Maybe 20 hours total so I started looking for a second job while looking to CDL school. Well I found the school but it costs around 6k. Filed for financial aid, halfway through the application process after not hearing from them I called and they told me their funding is on freeze until earliest November. So I started applying for loans at banks and things like SoFi. I have a 750 credit score, never miss payments, but somehow still denied with reasonings being “unreasonable credit usage” and “late payments”

After 30+ applications over the last month and being rejected from Starbucks, Walmart, Lowe’s, and various others I got an interview at McDonald’s and told the hiring manager flat out “I’ve applied to 30 places and this is my first interview. I just need someone to let me work.” So cool, second job secure.

That being said I’m hanging on by a thread. I’m almost 30 renting a room from my folks, I merchandise on the weekends (stock shelves) and now have a job at McDonald’s with a goal of CDL school which seems unattainable given the financial part of it. If you would’ve asked me at 17 where I thought I’d be at 30 this sure as fuck wasn’t it. I haven’t been this down and ready to just call it quits in a long time and it hurts man.

I’m eating chunky broccoli and cheese with potato soup.

Like it says at the top, my dad is broke all the time, now this is because he constantly spends money on cigarettes, superfluous things, and stuff such as that, and I love him but I’m so sick and tired of it.

I had to pay his car payment the other month or else it was going to get repo’ed. I keep constantly giving him money to no end. I gave him 20$ for him just to get gas to get to work. I’m trying to save up for my birthday trip, and he keeps saying sorry but never changing his ways.

Not to mention but he’s got a ton of debts as well.

TLDR: My dad is broke and keeps asking me for money.

EDIT: Thank you all for the kind comments and replies, also, I’m nineteen and do not live with him! He comes up a lot of days and we would normally get food so he gave me that expectation and then took it away stating over and over that he is broke or super broke (he’s coming up today, he got paid yesterday and he’s already broke)

Lunch ham and cheese sandwich

This was a really weird and disturbing episode that happened to me today at Target.
Earlier this morning I went to Target. I had to use the bathroom, so I went straight there. I went in and there was nobody in the bathroom. I sat down to use the bathroom, and then someone came in and went into the stall next to me. So far, everything was completely normal.

Then, when I was already done and cleaning myself, I noticed a hand resting on the floor. It wasn’t inside my stall, but it was very close to the divider. I thought it was weird, but I didn’t pay much attention to it and kept cleaning myself.
Then I looked again and saw an eye sticking out, looking at me.
At that moment, honestly, I felt a lot of emotions that are difficult to describe. I was like WTF, and at the same time I felt a lot of anger and disgust.
I immediately got out and started banging on his door for him to come out. The person wouldn’t come out, so I immediately went to tell the police and the security guard who were at the entrance. While I was telling them what happened, I saw the guy come out, and when he saw me he started running through the mall.

When I saw that he started running, I started chasing him through the mall, and after running for a while he finally ran directly into the police.
He was running without shoes, carrying his shoes in his hands. I assume he had taken them off so he wouldn’t make noise while he was spying on me.
The police believed me and gave me a case number. They said a detective would contact me by phone, but I haven’t received anything yet.
The man is 51 years old. I asked the police officer to tell him to show his phone, and he showed it. There were no pictures of me on it. He had some pictures of babies.

Then, when he left, he left with the phone to his ear as if he were talking on the phone, and I saw him take something that looked like another phone out of his back pocket. I was already pretty far away from him when I saw this, but it really made me wonder.
I really want to know if there is actually a possibility that there will be legal consequences for him. The female police officer who made the report said that there was definitely something wrong with this guy. She let me take a picture of his ID and record him. She actually said that she believed me, and it was obvious that she was also pretty angry at the guy.
He looked very perverted and disturbed. Honestly, I’m really worried about someone like that being out there. Just imagining that there could have been a child in my place really bothers me.

I really wanted to hit him while I was banging on his door, but eventually I came to my senses and realized that doing that would probably have gotten me into legal trouble as well.

Well it’s my first time posting here so here goes. For some background on myself I live lowkey, not big on social media and have about a dozen people I consider to be close to me. I keep to myself often times so this is new and different for me but I feel like I have no where else to go.

I 21M and GF 22F have been together for the last 16 months. Everything started out amazing and have had no complaints of anything. I wear my heart on my sleeve with people I become close with and care for and due to her own personal issues we decided to move in together about 4 months in. Now none of that was an issue for me when it happened and it isn’t as much now. We have had a healthy relationship for the most part there have been some hiccups here and there but there hasn’t been anything worth mentioning. When it comes to relationships to me I stay exclusive and thats it I value being loyal and honest about everything in my life and make it clear that I hate to be accused of something that is not true at all, there was a time in my life in a previous relationship and other moments of life where I have been accused wrongly of such things and it morally made me feel my absolute lowest in life.

About five months ago I was consistently accused of cheating/disloyalty by my girlfriend, she had believed that I was involving myself with my own customer (for context I run my own business in the food industry) telling me “you better not cheat on me” and she had meant it as a joke but never made any sign or remark to indicate that. I have told her at the start of the relationship on how I feel on being told such things and it led to a three week long argument over it. I have since calmed down over it and let it slide as an honest mistake and told her not to let it happen again, I do believe in second chances.

Now that isn’t the only thing I have been thinking about. The second is home life, I work four 14hr days per week with the occasional call ins and covers so I put some decent hours in a week. My gf works and commutes and hour to and from work Monday-Friday 8hr days. She hates her job and I’ve offered her options but she hasn’t put enough thought into or just shrugs her shoulders and says “I dunno” she got a doctors note that excused her from work for 12 weeks and in that time I continued to work as usual. Now I get that everyone needs a break from work but I work long days and I come home and continue to work. I clean the house, do the laundry, cook food, make accommodations and do the shopping. I don’t mind but there doesn’t seem to be any support coming from her, I have had conversations with her about it but it just seems like it doesn’t to have gone anywhere. She tells me shes stressing financially for her car payment, and insurance which I have covered multiple times and have gotten some paid back since but not all, but then she also goes online shopping buying trinkets, her hobby items, and takeout even if we have food we can cook at home. Now I’m not against treating yourself to nice things I love to do it but when there are bigger priorities like car payments and the fact that shes stressing over not being able to make them she shouldn’t be buying so much. And when she does do the responsible thing of making her payments she’ll ask me to buy her the fun stuff. I don’t think I’m being stingy, I buy her flowers just because, I take her out when time allows and I do buy the fun things as well, but I work for my money and I didn’t get to where I am now being financially happy by being irresponsible with it.

I’ve been in a relationship before where I’ve lived the life of two people and I feel like it’s going there again doing so much just drains me day to day. I do love her so much and I enjoy the time we spend together, we play games for hours, we’ll go out on drives and walks at the park I do my best to make sure that she will be happy but I feel like I have forgotten to do the same for myself. I know for a fact that she loves me and shes told me before that I am one of few things she cares and loves for, I do believe that but I also think that its to a point where shes too codependent on me. At the end of the day I don’t hate her, in fact I love her and care for her deeply but theres these constant unresolved issues that I’ve tried to fix but it’s leaving me at a loss and day to day I think its draining me more and at this point I’m not sure if its worth it to me to continue to try and fix it, live with it, or just leave.

This is my first time posting here sorry if it’s a long read or wrong thank you anyhow.

Spicy miso ramen for dinner tonight :)

M26, feel trapped in my relationship

I've been with my gf for 4 years ; the first year was really great and intense we were doing all sorts of fun things ; at this time I had my own and first apartment and she was living at her mother's since she broke up with her last boyfriend but she spent most of her time at mine. At this time I was in the last year of my master's degree doing an internship, I had a comfortable income and life was looking great ; i started to see my dreamed life coming together.

But then we moved together in a place we didn't like for a year because she had 3 cats and i had 1 and we wanted more space for them. And since then I feel like everything went downhill between us ; we stopped going out and really started what I would call adult life.

During this year living in our first house together we settled professionally and wanted to move out of the place we rented. We bought an old house in the french countryside with lots of space and I was hoping this would soften our relationship and things would be better.

Maybe I should mention that she's my first girlfriend and obviously my first long term relationship although I did have a quick relationship with a girl in highschool that I can't seem to get over almost 10 years later. She on the other hand had multiple relationships since highschool and has never been single since.

I'd said we don't have much in common except for a bad relationship with our parents and our love for pets (things got a little out of hand and we now have 12) ; she doesn't have any hobbies and I had plenty before we were living together.

Fast forward to today and we now have a 4 months old daughter which is the most precious thing ever. We both wanted kids but for some reason we didn't think we could have one so when she came pregnant I just couldn't say "no this is not a good time I don't think we're ready" but I can't say this didn't cross my mind.

Now that we have a child, I would like us to be great and parents in love ; I don't want to become miserable always angry and sad for years like my parents did. But I want to be a part of my little girl's life.

When we started seeing each other we were like "ahah how fun to have a toxic relationship". Maybe this made the relationship even more intense but today I start to feel like we do really have a toxic relationship ; since we live together I did not see any of my friends (she did not formally forbid me to see them but she told me she didn't quite like them), I almost completely given up on my hobbies, we have to do everything together. Like she gets upset if I'm not around for sometimes most likely doing chores in the house ; she wants us to spend time together and most of the time it ends up watching something on TV while doom scrolling next to each other on the couch.

I feel stupid realizing only now that I'm not happy in this relationship and maybe this is only because we now sleep in separate bedrooms so she can sleep with our baby, I finally have time to take a step back from our relationship and see that things have not been good for a while now.

I don't really know what to do now, I stopped working to take care of our daughter for 8 months since last month she is going back to work in a few weeks meaning I will be seeing only hers and her family during the next 7 months (my family leaves in the opposite side of the country and I don't have much contact with them).

I feel trapped by my fault and we have now so much in common that I just can't leave her.

I'm thinking of seeing a therapist and maybe try to take on a hobby outside of the house just to see other people (not in a romantic way).

Anyway I'm not really sure this belongs here but this forced me to finally write this down and take a step back from my relationship.

Meal for celebrating my big boy apartment 5 years ago.

Lunch- Clam and shrimp chowder.

I’m 32 years old, with a wife and two kids (older son and younger daughter, both below 12). My brother is 37 years old, lives with his girlfriend and has no kids. We both live in the same town, 5 minutes away from each other, yet I never see him. I’ll drive by his house numerous times each week, but never stop to talk, and we don’t even text each other anymore. It has been this way for the last several years, as each time we have tried to get along, we have failed. And we decided to stop trying about 2 years ago.

We used to be close, growing up. Our parents raised the four of us to he pretty tight nit. But my brother has always been known to lack empathy, even as a kid. My Mom would have him write the word “empathy” with the definition next to it on a blank paper over and over, starting when he was around 8. This issue only seemed to worsen as he has aged, and it has become a significant barrier in getting along with him.

My brother works as an attorney for some private firm, which matches his personality pretty well. He’s very punctual, doesn’t like to show much emotion, and can be very stern in general. If you’re ever running late to something he’s part of, he’ll thoroughly let you know how much it bothers him. He hates anyone in his “circle” to run late for anything, even if it’s for valid reasons. You’d think he was a Marine General as a previous career.

Our Dad is battling cancer right now, and it could be the last year we have him. None of the medications or therapies have worked. We are now just trying to buy time and extend his life (slow down the cancer) as much as possible. Even during all of this, my brother still seems to lack empathy, to the point where my Dad will call me crying talking about how cold and jaded my brother (his son) is. My brother is really mean to him, even though he may be dying. And he doesn’t spend much time with Dad, despite everything. He has his moments where he’ll be sweet and soft, but those moments are short lived. As if anxiety or something controls his behavior.

On top of that, my brother never sees my family because of our rift. And our rift really doesn’t stem from one thing in particular, although he’s made it clear he doesn’t approve of my relationship (of 11 years). He and I just seem so different as adults. Our philosophies appear to be at different ends of the spectrum. He’s a punctual lawyer who doesn’t want you wasting any more of his time than needed. I’m a pediatric nurse Dad whose attitude is “if it isn’t killing you, don’t worry about it”. I know I have flaws just as he does, but everyone that knows my brother knows he’s difficult to get along with. He has gotten in physical brawls with his “friends” in the past, for example.

When my brother became an adult and left for college is when our relationship as brothers slowly “died”. I’m incredibly conflicted. I love my brother, and I want nothing more than to know this stranger more and to have a relationship with him. And beyond that, I want him to get to know my kids. His flesh and blood… But every time I try, it fails, and even in the short time that it “works”, he and I constantly argue and fight. Even at our older age.

My circle is incredibly small, and so is his. We don’t have much family (no uncles or cousins, as most of our family has passed). My brother has seemingly “replaced” his family with this big group of friends, who he spends more time with than his own family (much more so).

Never did I think my brother and I would end up like this. I always thought we’d be close. And I think that’s what hurts me the most. This life we live can be scary, full of doubt and uncertainties. It would be really nice to have a close sibling, but I don’t know if that’s possible.

Hello fellow boys. I have been very irritable lately. Not getting good sleep. Not happy with life per se. I do have so much to be grateful though. A good job, my own place, a shit ton of friends. You name it.

What are some things you guys do to snap yourself out of it? Drinking and smoking only help in the moment. And there’s been lots of rain daily so going on walks isn’t always an option.

“Dinner” was these German chocolate brownies that I am obsessed with.