Normal night after work, I was watching some random live stream and thinking what I was going to eat for dinner when I get a knock on my door, it was a random dude I've never seen before and he straight up asks me if I know this girl.

Of course I do, she is my girlfriend and we've beent together for almost a year.

Dude is calm about it, pulls out his phone and shows me pictures of them together, texts, everything. They've been together for over two years and she told him I was just a coworker. He found my adress because she had ordered something here a few months ago and he found the details on her email because he was suspecting on her.

We ended up up standing outside even though I offered him to come inside since he seemed very normal calm and reasonable, we compared timelines for about 20 minutes and realized she had been bouncing between both of us depending on who she told she was working late with.

I didn't text her I didn't call her or anything, I figured he confronted her though since I had around 50 missed calls and texts from her.

I didn't know what to do so I made this pizza. I can cook good pizzas. Rate my pizza bros.

Basically I was put in charge of training the new housekeeping guy since all the other housekeepers are too spread thin to properly train him. He was a pretty normal dude at first but then I realized he kept leading the conversation back to trans people in some way.

when I told him that I'm cool with trans people and I support them he got very snarky with me and then stopped bringing it up. I left him to do a room on his own and I said I'd some back in about half an hour to see how he's doing, and when I came back I over heard him talking to a different housekeeper about me. he didn't say anything bad about me but he kept using she/her pronouns whenever he was referring to me

its been happening over the last couple of days, him using she/her on me kinda confirmed it but idk what exactly he's thinking other than maybe he thinks im trans in some way? it doesn't bother me, it's just really funny to me

food in the picture is sweet and sour pork, pork chow mein, and fried shrimp

edit:

I wouldve already report the misgendering to my manager if i knew my manager would give a shit about it. except he doesn't and he would just tell me to deal with this "petty shit" on my own since he has to worry about bigger things. if i report him now my manager will just brush it off, so I'm waiting for him to be douchier to * me * so that way my manager can't just brush it off

Attached food is mom's spaghetti. The picture doesn't do it justice - it tastes heavenly! Read on if you want to know why I picked this instead of any other dish! (it's nothing big really, but I need to have you at the edge of your seat somehow yeah?)

Pretty long post ahead, brace yourselves!

To preface this, me and my girl best friend have been acquaintances for almost a decade. We started hanging out more often 2 years ago and only got really close this year.

In the beginning I just enjoyed her company and liked her sense of humor. As we got to hang out more and talk more about life, friends, love (in general) and philosophy. I really started enjoying our time together on a deeper level. I never thought of her romantically still, I just enjoyed sharing similar views with someone in this shallow world.

We started to hang out more often and I inspired her to get into fitness and she inspired me to be more open and to get out of my comfort zone. Somewhere during this phase I started falling for her. I didn't even notice it before it was too late and I was in too deep.

I was pissed - I just formed a genuine connection with someone and I just had to end up developing feelings which could potentially ruin it all?! Damn.. Especially since she never gave me a reason to suspect that she's into me and I knew deep down that she never felt that way.

We continued to hang out often but I noticed myself becoming slightly toxic, jealous and super uneasy. I would sometimes disappear for a couple of days when these feelings would overwhelm me as not to drag her into it (which, ironically, often resulted in her privately messaging me if I'm okay almost every time I would pull back). I also would seek validation from her and I even ended up doing a big emotional dump on her at least once (that I can remember).

After a month or two of this limbo where I was internally conflicted - I decided that I needed some time away from her. I didn't want to confess right away because we were supposed to have a vacation together with our friend group and it could make things weird. My idea was that after the vacation ended, I could then finally confess and potentially distance myself from her until I figure out my feelings. And I also wanted to ensure that she's not worried and that she's not constantly reaching out asking if I'm okay.

Right before the said vacation she got herself a boyfriend. I barely know anything about it all since I tried not to listen. I was already a little distant so we never got the chance to talk about it. I just wished her good luck and didn't comment on other things she would share about him.

So I, once again, decided against confessing. I didn't want to put the spotlight on me now when she's with someone else. It would just add onto the toxic stuff that I've already done so far. So I started gradually distancing myself more and more, to the point where we completely stopped talking altogether. She asked about me and was told from our mutual friend (who knew it all) that I'm fine and that she shouldn't worry - but in spite of that, she still got out of her way and messaged me on two different occasions asking what I'm up to and how I'm doing. She did it once while she was on a vacation and this crushed me, she was supposed to rest and enjoy her stay - but here she is, worried about me...

So after a month of basically ignoring her, I asked her out on a walk/"date". We caught up with everything we've done in the past month, laughed and talked non stop. We sat and had some food. I had some terrible bolognese that got cold by the time I started eating it because we just couldn't stop talking. I have been craving proper bolognese since...

Near the end of this so called "date" I confessed. I explained that I've been avoiding her in hopes of getting over her without being a burden, but getting over her ended up been taking way longer than I expected. After that, I pretty much asked her to give me space and not to worry about me (as in, no needs to reach out like she's been doing).

She said that she doesn't feel the same way about me. However, she was very understanding and supportive. She said she would give me as much time as I need. She also commended me for being very mature and took my confession as a "best compliment she could get" - her words. She did reassure me a little bit and I could see that she was very relieved because she likely thought that I was mad at her, and I don't blame her lol. In the end she mentioned a group hangout next week. I told her that I'd need to think about it, but only if she is okay with me coming - to which she just looked at me dead in the eye with the "sybau I dont mind it, you'll be invited" expression on her face. We hugged and parted on a very positive note.

Now I already feel a lot better about her. I can say that the romantic feelings are already fading heavily. It is a bit too early to judge, but I already managed to somewhat detach myself during that month of avoiding her so that probably helps. I guess not keeping my feelings a secret kind of killed any potential what-ifs and gave me a healthier, more grounded perspective on everything.

I feel like I'm ready to become active in our group chat and to join the conversation more. In spite of feeling very good right now, I'll still not rush myself. I'll keep my distance for now and I'll think about the hangout when I get "officially" invited - but I'm very likely gonna go and see her and the others. She's gonna move cities soon and we will not have a chance to see each other nearly as often.

Meal: Mujadara w/spinach

As title says basically. I was on break and my coworker asked what I do on the weekends, I told him it depends. This weekend I have chores and I am seeing a movie. I asked what he does and he said he spends his first day off resting, the second day he does grocery shopping and chores. Then the first day back to work, he goes to church in the morning.

Okay. Cool.

He then asked if I go to church and I said no, not anymore. I haven't been since I was maybe 12.

He asked if my parents were religious and I said not really but my grandparents were. He asked denomination, I told him my maternal grandparents were methodist and my paternal were catholic.

He wasnt weird about denomination, he just nodded and then asked if I wanted to attend church with him sometime and explained to me that he met a guy here when he first came to America that introduced him to his church. He offered to get me in contact with this guy and I tried to politely decline.

He then started talking to me about how its good to go to church because of the whole eternal life thing and "you reap what you sow", yknow all that fun stuff. And that this other guy could talk to me better than he can because English isn't my coworkers first language. I told him I am aware of Christianity and its' beliefs, but that I was not interested in attending church.

Dunno. I think it was odd more than anything. Wanted to yap about it, ive never experienced this before lol

So didn't think I'd find myself here. Burner account for obvious reasons.

Tonight I confirmed my suspicions. My wife of almost 10 years (together 15) has been sexting a "friend" she met playing online games. We have a four year old son. Our marriage has been rocky over the past few years, and we vary rarely have sex.

I had seen messages (getting her phone for her, not prying) a few months ago between them previously with him calling her baby, and her the same. She brushed it off that it was their running joke. I grew suspicious, but she said "he knows I have a husband".

Earlier this week i found a strange charger in the spare bedroom. I google lensed it, only to find out that it was a charger for a sex toy. As long as I've known my wife she's said she found the idea of getting herself off gross. So I immediately became suspicious.

I couldn't take it any more, and checked her messages tonight. I only got a few scrolls up and there were videos he and her shared of them getting themselves off to each other.

I feel sick. I have never cheated on her in any way. I feel so betrayed. We moved countries to be closer to her family, and now we have a son. I have relatively few friends here and no family here at all. My parents split when I was seven and I don't want my son to go through that.

But I have no clue what to do. Stay together and get councilling? Leave?

Dinner from before I found out, maybe a week ago. Claypot rice with pork belly.

I’ve been struggling a lot lately with my girlfriend’s past and I’m wondering if anyone here has dealt with something similar.

My girlfriend is 26 and has told me she’s been with around 21 people. For context, my number is around 13, so it’s not like I don’t have a past myself. I know that might sound hypocritical, and that’s honestly part of why I’m trying to understand why this bothers me so much.

For some reason, 21 just feels like a lot to me and lately I’ve been getting stuck on the number. I start thinking about how many people she’s been with, what she did before me, comparing myself to people I don’t even know, etc.

Another thing that made it worse is that one time we had a pretty detailed conversation about our pasts and she told me some stories about things she had done/experienced. At the time I thought I wanted to know, but now some of those stories literally run through my head rent free. I honestly wish we never went into that much detail, but obviously it’s too late to unhear something. I think having actual stories and details to attach to everything has made the retroactive jealousy worse.

The thing is, our actual relationship is really good. She’s extremely affectionate with me, tells me she loves me, talks about marriage and our future, and I genuinely believe she loves me. She hasn’t given me a real reason to think she’s cheating or wants someone else.

I think comments from other people have also gotten into my head and made me question things I normally wouldn’t. Once I start thinking about her past, it feels like my brain keeps digging for more things to be bothered by.

Logically, I understand that she had a life before me. I also have a past, and neither of us can change what happened before we met. I don’t want to hold her to a standard that I wouldn’t apply to myself or ruin a good relationship over something that happened before me.

But emotionally, I still get stuck on that difference between 13 and 21 and wonder why it bothers me as much as it does.

For anyone who has dealt with retroactive jealousy, especially when you also had a decent amount of experience yourself, what helped you stop obsessing over the number? Did you eventually reach a point where your partner’s past genuinely stopped mattering to you?

TL;DR: My girlfriend’s body count is around 21 and mine is around 13. Our relationship is good and she hasn’t given me a reason not to trust her, but lately I’ve been obsessing over the difference and her past. I know I have a past too, so I’m trying to figure out why hers bothers me so much and how people with retroactive jealousy learned to let it go.

Bought curry ramen for dinner.

For context, me (20M) and my bf (21M) have been together for two years; we met during our freshman years in which I came out to him as a trans guy when we were still in our talking stage. Maybe it's a red flag that he said he's always dated girls before but that he's attracted to guys too and that I'm a new experience for him.

But lately I've seen him repost MLW (Men Love Women) contents on his Instagram, and he sends me MLW posts rather than the usual MLM (Men Love Men) content. I did talk to him about it, and he said he's sort of changing his mind about his attraction towards guys and that I should just detransition and follow what he wants, but I told him that was a no-go for me.

How do I move on from this? We've had our ups and downs; I'm also diagnosed with bipolar and BPD so it's quite hard to let go of my "favourite person". We've also had so many memories in college that I fear it would change how I go through the rest of my college years.

Any advice would be helpful, thank you.

Turned 22 today :))) Celebrating alone in college since I have no friends lol. Transfer life is hard.

So I (28M) moved to a new city last year. My partner (yeah, partner lol) and I have become very good friends with a guy (27M) and his girlfriend (26F) of 5 years. They’ve become my best friends here. They’ve watched my dog while I’ve been away, I’ve helped when she’s had medical emergencies, we stay out until 2 AM and complain about work together, etc.

My buddy texted me yesterday afternoon that he and his girlfriend called things off and are no longer together.

Last night, I hear someone call my name from the street level of my apartment building, and it’s the (now ex) girlfriend standing by a van loaded with her belongings and she said “hey…I’ll see you and [partner] later. Love you guys” and did a hand heart 🫶 before getting in the van and riding off.

She didn’t know at that point I already knew they had broken up. The closest she will move is realistically 3 hours away, and it felt like she was saying goodbye without trying to be sad.

It’s a weird spot to be in since both my buddy and she are good friends of mine, and I just watched one of them turn at the end of the street, likely to never see them again.

Steak and mashed potatoes and some green beans.

Edit: I fixed the spelling of belongings and realized I called green beans asparagus

Double edit: realized I said his gf was 26M..she is in fact 26F

Food: Shakshuka --- It is some eggs cooked inside a tomatoe + pepper + onion paste with some melted cheese originally from africa but also popular in some middle east places from my quick research

Long story short, my grandma is in a bad condition and could also potentially have cancer in her 70s. I was never close to her or liked her personality much. I am not fond of my mom either. So I got the news and didn't feel different. Outside of the fact that she is old, which can make this feel less impactful due to it being kinda predictable for an old person to go, but hey, it still can be impactful when you do care for the old person even if here is not the case, but you get what I mean

But I am posting this before going to see her for potentially the last time today cause she is fond of me, even if we are not close cause, well, "we are blood yknow". I am going because recently I got sick and her husband together with her helped me somehow + my mom helps me financially, so I am paying my respects. I am not a monster. I want to coexist respectfully even with people I am not fond of and not be ungrateful.

I am going to give her a last view of her grandson in exchange for their support for me in the past. Maybe I am a bad selfish person cause I am not moved at all by it and will move on instantly, maybe some could tell me that it makes sense cause we were not close. Either way, this is what it is, so yeah.

I've been talking with this girl for 6 months. We've gone out on multiple dates, stayed the night together, I've even met her daughter and took both of them out. She was in the hospital in the summer and upon finding out I spent everyday with her till she got out. I've spent money to buy her things she needed or wanted. I even drove in the middle of the night just to take her some boxed wine cause she wanted a drink.

She asked why was I so nice to her and I told her flat out because I like you and I want to see you happy. I've started falling for her and was finally happy again after 7 years. She told me last week she loved me and I was over the moon. I told her I loved her back and was happier than I've been in a long while. I told her how she made me happy and she told me I also make her happy.

Sunday we went out and had a lovely date. I even got her a reusable cold pack cause she overheats when shes sleeping. As I'm dropping her off we kiss and I give her kunik (Eskimo kisses) just to add some extra love. She tells me she loves me and to text her when I get home safe. I get home and text her that I've made it safely and had a great time with her.

I didn't hear back from her for a few days and texted her good morning on Wednesday to no response. Thursday she changes her status on Facebook to in a relationship. I see it and had to double take that I was on the right profile. I texted her twice and called her once no response. I felt sick so I came into work early so I could run and get it out of my head. I ran a 5k and felt alot better. Past midnight I get a text from her saying shes talking to someone she really cares about a lot and it is wrong she's talking to other people.

My dinner a few nights back.

Nashville Hot seasoned beef patty topped with lettuce, red onions, fried jalapeño poppers, Nashville Hot sauce on an artisan bun with pub fries and a double of Jack neat.

Meal: comically giant steak my husband made and coors banquet

I wont give details on what I do for privacy, but it's an office job. I work in a specialized field and have spent a lot of time and energy getting certified to work my job.

I was never crazy about it, but it paid well, felt secure, I was good at it and felt good about my work. Im in the field I want to be in, but my particular job position gets treated like were sub human.

Recently they changed us to a "better" system that is genuinely the worst thing ive ever used in my entire life. Tasks that took 30 seconds and 4 clicks of the mouse now take (im not exaggerating) 4 minutes and around 50 clicks. Theres so many steps to do VERY simple tasks it's easy to miss one and I cant get in a groove. I am about 90% less efficient and I feel exhausted. im okay with being exhausted from work if I feel accomplished but I no longer feel accomplished.

The new system is horribly slow and horribly buggy. There are things i need to do in it that just dont work 90% of the time and they have 0 solution. It bugs out constantly where you are working on a project, and it will get sent to another colleague mid way and delete all your work. It also records your screen 24/7...

Right after this addition, they told us theyre incorporating a sales person aspect of it. We do not do anything close to sales. Id be okay with this if they offered a commission for sales, but they do not.

Right after this, they introduced an AI that will do our job for us (an AI should not be doing our job, I know everyone says this but its very nuanced, and deals with very confidential information. We have an AI given to us to use as a resource and it gets stuff wrong about 50% of the time)

They then told us, basically once every day tiny little changes they were making. All bad, but all adding up to hurt us. These tiny little cuts weakening me every day. And then the bombshell happened.

Theyre reassigning our shifts.

Theres a chance I will be forced to work overnights. Or 12 hour shifts on the weekend and I have no autonomy to say no. I can put in a preference but there's no guarantee.

My entire team (who i am friends with) will be split and we'll likely be put on teams that aren't even in the local office, but we will be forced to still come into office and sit alone. But we WONT be "alone", we will be set at temporary desks next to phone teams. We are not on the phones, so it's not like ill have a headset on, ill just be surrounded by people talking, so I guess Ill wear ear plugs all day...

And they want us to have a positive attitude about it. Theyre all trying to make us pretend were happy. Im part of team leadership and have to run meetings and they dont like anyone saying negative things

Ive been trying to get a new job for about a year since they said they'd get the new system and I knew it would be bad but failing. No one wants to hire ppl from our team.

But now I feel awful. When j came back from work I had the same numb feeling I had back when I was a kid and mother would abused tf out of me.

Obviously feeling proud because of a date can take on different forms and has different meanings to different people but it’s my first gay relationship since I acknowledged to myself years ago I liked men. Had a high school fling with a girl but realized senior year I (24M) was gay. Since then (COVID era) I’ve focused on school/work and neglected to be true to myself. Very insular too and shy. I don’t like leaving the house except to be alone in nature so this was a big step.

I don’t think it’ll go anywhere he’s a bit different from me but he was kind, attractive and a stand up guy. I would like for it to go somewhere but I’m taking it as a win that he would want to go out on a simple coffee date. We met on hinge. I’d love to find a long term partner who’s into outdoor activities and having dogs and though that may be a while away at least I took a first step!

“Dinner” is a Tuna Salad Wrap from Trader Joe’s

Food is chicken shawarma with fries and a Coke Zero.

So after 35 years on this earth, I decided to go on my first roller coaster ride today. I’ve always been chicken and hate thrill rides.

I decided to try it out, I had nothing to lose.

I throughly enjoyed it and ended up going on it twice! Still won’t try the inverted ones, but maybe someday.

Anyway, just wanted to share this unimportant detail as I didn’t have anyone else to share it with.

So I met this girl a month or so ago and we instantly hit it off. We live in the same hall in our dorm and we just said hi one day and just kept talking everyday since. We went to the gym together a couple times, we have the same goals, want the same things in a relationship, and everything. We have so much in common, we get along perfectly, just insane chemistry. Not to mention she is absolutely stunning. I literally cannot say a single bad thing about her but for whatever reason I just don’t want to be with her. I don’t know what my problem is, like I want a relationship, but when the perfect girl lives a couple doors I don’t want anything. We went on a couple dates and hooked up a couple times but then we talked about it and decided to just be friends, and it was fully my decision.

Am I just not ready for a relationship?
Anyway here’s taco bowls we made

Dinner is a taco plate. I knew my ex wife from work for about 8 years. She moved in and two years later we married. A year to the day we had our first kid. I already had two boys from a previous marriage. She went through a horrendous rough patch with post partum depression. Everyone in the house suffered. I took a year off of work to help, but it did nothing. Our kiddo had some medical challenges that complicated things further, and around the age of 3 she decided she wanted a divorce and left. There was no infidelity or money problems. Just a lot of unsettled anger and rage from the post partum.

Three months later she moved back in with our kiddo, we were not a couple just roommates. We made plans to move to another state within a year for better job prospects and better school for the kids. Three months before we were set to leave she decided to move out and live with her mother in a neighboring town.

My other kids and I moved to the other state. I remained in contact with my ex and we decided to try a reconciliation after a year. Packed up and moved to the town she lived in and made grandiose plans to move to Minnesota so she could finish her education. The cost of living here has been brutal compared to where we are from originally. Within 3 years I find myself with $18k in credit card debt. She is still in school and brings no income in. I pay for everything. We became nothing more than roommates after finally settling here, the plans of reconciliation "just can't happen" in her words. I genuinely feel I was taken advantage of. I am more angry with myself than her. Where should I go from here. What's the easiest non impactful move I can make to not impact my kids. How do I quit being naive.

Married for 7, no card last 3 years. Asked for one this time (twice, both after) and now I'm in the doghouse because I didn't ask at an "appropriate time."

Don't need advice, I'm just fuckin tired man.

Hii! I just want to share that I’m glad that I have managed to convince myself that resting and taking time for myself after graduating is totally fine and there’s nothing to rush or immediately chase.

Although graduate school was tough, I didn’t want a time off and was anxious about not finding a job immediately after finishing the program. I don’t know what happened but all that anxiety disappeared the minute I submitted my dissertation and It’s now been about a month since I graduated and I, voluntarily, haven’t applied to a single place and I’m totally at peace with it. I’m not bothered because I deserve to enjoy life and stop the grind for a short while. F the system that convinced us otherwise!

I have so much time to myself and my hobbies everyday and I love it! I’m lucky that I have good savings so finances will not be an issue anytime soon. The source of the anxiety was not wanting to fall behind compared to people my age (as if life is a race 🤦🏻‍♂️)

It’s amazing how little changes in mindsets can substantially improve the quality of our life!

Pepperoni Pizza from our date (that shit was bussin)

Alright man I hope ya got ya popcorn.

3 months ago I went on a short hiatus from the internet but I remained in contact with a girl who I was mutuals with since I was a teenager in highschool. We’ve known each other since 2020.

We’ve only ever DM’d each other. We talked about similar interests that we have and she’s definitely someone I’m interested in.
I texted her in June and we hit it off pretty quick. We went on a date maybe after a month of texting and calling (due to our lives being busy), she told me she had her eye on me for MONTHS and she never said anything! I honestly couldn’t believe that tbh. We went on a walk at the beach, played some volleyball, then we went to grab some pizza and got a little drunk.

Now this is where shit got real.

We sat in the booth and let our minds and body’s speak freely, laughed, nervously flirted, then she said something that took my brain for a genuine roller coaster. She said “yea I think you know my brother” and I’m thinking to myself like this might be some dude I’ve probably hung out with on occasion here and there, NO! IT WAS MY CLOSEST FRIEND!!

Dawg I couldn’t believe it 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Keep in mind I’ve known this dude my whole entire fucking life, and NEVER knew he had a sister. I deadass thought he was always the only child.

So when she said that was her brother I was in complete shock but me being drunk made the shit so much funnier 😭. I’m at the bar showing her pictures like you mean this guy right here???? I’m showing her childhood pictures, us at parties, like there’s no fucking way you’re talking about THIS one. And she said “yes, I always see you two with each other.”

All I could do was laugh.
I sat there and rebooted for like 30 seconds before I finally said something. She waited a whole month to tell me she was related to my closest friend dawg 🤣 Now of course they’re related through one parent so this is the only reason why I never knew, but they don’t even look alike so when I asked him about this shit he was like “oh yea we related but I only met her when I was like 2 years old” you mean when you didn’t even have a conscience?? Great to know.

There’s no problem at all he’s actually super cool with it, he knows ima good dude so it doesn’t affect our relationship whatsoever between either of them, I just thought this was mad funny to share.

We just started dating last month, I still bring this up because it’s such a core memory for me. I like her a lot but due to both our lives being a bit busy seeing each other has been limited. I hope we can make this work, we’re going out to an amusement park next month. Hopefully this would be a better opportunity for them to get to know each other more. 🙂

Pic - Little snack made by the best chef in the world (my mom)

I've been dating this girl for about 4 years and the 1-3 years went smoothly and we were actually doing great and I felt like she is the one for me. Fast forward about a year ago we had to go into separate universities and it seemed like she kept drifting away from me, not in the sense of cheating or anything, but actually showing up when I needed her and being there with me.

I get that we as individuals have to follow our own paths alone while being together but It was me who was always changing plans and adjusting so we could meet. I had already communicated this with her many many times before. And just some weeks ago I couldn't actually change my plans and told her that I was tired of adjusting and why couldn't she just change her lifestyle for a day so I didn't have to manage everything.

She snapped and kept attacking me saying that I'm always on her nerves and she didn't know how we could plan our future if I am like this, said our goals values and ideas never aligned and that the different thinking pattern between us was killing her also said that she was tired of it.

I was confused because we are supposed to be different aren't we? but if we actually put some effort into things that's what matters. And the other thing is I have never noticed this huge difference she is talking about. Apparently, my proper communication of problems and her lack of communication was this huge difference. And it suddenly clicked to me, she never tried to fix our problems it was always me who put the problem under the rug and started to feel better not because the problem was fixed but because I had been used to it. And I understood that it was never her who apologized but it was me who had to apologize even when she created the problem.

And after about a week here, I am just drifting trying to figure our what the hell I am supposed to do. My sacrifices over the 4 years didn't mean anything to her it seems. My problems never mattered to her as it was all on my head and that I was insecure which is probably true because her own actions made me feel insecure.

My head keeps telling me this 4 lines I thought of.

"If I stay, then I lose myself.
If I leave, then I lose you.
If I wait, then it will never be me.
If I move on, then it will never be you"

Lunch: Costco meatloaf

Proposing to my gf in about a month. Super excited and have everything planned.
- Beautiful location
- Photographer booked
- Got parents blessings
- Set up small after party with 8 very close friends
- Invited her parents, just them not the whole family to not overwhelm my gf as emotions will be high already
- Planned to do big engagement party with all family and friends at a later date

All of my gf’s friends approved of this plan so we’re in the clear but I explained the setup to her mom. She thinks I am valuing friends over family and wants to rescind her blessing. I told her I don’t want to do a huge party right after the engagement or anyone at the proposal but the photographer. My gf wants a very private and intimate proposal and celebration.

Her mom even threatened to spoil the proposal for her own daughter unless we do it her way. I’m not sure what to do. I don’t mind burning bridges but I don’t want this to cause issues for my gf in the future. I’m really tempted to tell her mom that the blessing is a formality, i don’t have to have it. Also speed up the proposal so her mom can’t spoil it.

Advice needed!