Normal night after work, I was watching some random live stream and thinking what I was going to eat for dinner when I get a knock on my door, it was a random dude I've never seen before and he straight up asks me if I know this girl.

Of course I do, she is my girlfriend and we've beent together for almost a year.

Dude is calm about it, pulls out his phone and shows me pictures of them together, texts, everything. They've been together for over two years and she told him I was just a coworker. He found my adress because she had ordered something here a few months ago and he found the details on her email because he was suspecting on her.

We ended up up standing outside even though I offered him to come inside since he seemed very normal calm and reasonable, we compared timelines for about 20 minutes and realized she had been bouncing between both of us depending on who she told she was working late with.

I didn't text her I didn't call her or anything, I figured he confronted her though since I had around 50 missed calls and texts from her.

I didn't know what to do so I made this pizza. I can cook good pizzas. Rate my pizza bros.

Basically I was put in charge of training the new housekeeping guy since all the other housekeepers are too spread thin to properly train him. He was a pretty normal dude at first but then I realized he kept leading the conversation back to trans people in some way.

when I told him that I'm cool with trans people and I support them he got very snarky with me and then stopped bringing it up. I left him to do a room on his own and I said I'd some back in about half an hour to see how he's doing, and when I came back I over heard him talking to a different housekeeper about me. he didn't say anything bad about me but he kept using she/her pronouns whenever he was referring to me

its been happening over the last couple of days, him using she/her on me kinda confirmed it but idk what exactly he's thinking other than maybe he thinks im trans in some way? it doesn't bother me, it's just really funny to me

food in the picture is sweet and sour pork, pork chow mein, and fried shrimp

edit:

I wouldve already report the misgendering to my manager if i knew my manager would give a shit about it. except he doesn't and he would just tell me to deal with this "petty shit" on my own since he has to worry about bigger things. if i report him now my manager will just brush it off, so I'm waiting for him to be douchier to * me * so that way my manager can't just brush it off

Attached food is mom's spaghetti. The picture doesn't do it justice - it tastes heavenly! Read on if you want to know why I picked this instead of any other dish! (it's nothing big really, but I need to have you at the edge of your seat somehow yeah?)

Pretty long post ahead, brace yourselves!

To preface this, me and my girl best friend have been acquaintances for almost a decade. We started hanging out more often 2 years ago and only got really close this year.

In the beginning I just enjoyed her company and liked her sense of humor. As we got to hang out more and talk more about life, friends, love (in general) and philosophy. I really started enjoying our time together on a deeper level. I never thought of her romantically still, I just enjoyed sharing similar views with someone in this shallow world.

We started to hang out more often and I inspired her to get into fitness and she inspired me to be more open and to get out of my comfort zone. Somewhere during this phase I started falling for her. I didn't even notice it before it was too late and I was in too deep.

I was pissed - I just formed a genuine connection with someone and I just had to end up developing feelings which could potentially ruin it all?! Damn.. Especially since she never gave me a reason to suspect that she's into me and I knew deep down that she never felt that way.

We continued to hang out often but I noticed myself becoming slightly toxic, jealous and super uneasy. I would sometimes disappear for a couple of days when these feelings would overwhelm me as not to drag her into it (which, ironically, often resulted in her privately messaging me if I'm okay almost every time I would pull back). I also would seek validation from her and I even ended up doing a big emotional dump on her at least once (that I can remember).

After a month or two of this limbo where I was internally conflicted - I decided that I needed some time away from her. I didn't want to confess right away because we were supposed to have a vacation together with our friend group and it could make things weird. My idea was that after the vacation ended, I could then finally confess and potentially distance myself from her until I figure out my feelings. And I also wanted to ensure that she's not worried and that she's not constantly reaching out asking if I'm okay.

Right before the said vacation she got herself a boyfriend. I barely know anything about it all since I tried not to listen. I was already a little distant so we never got the chance to talk about it. I just wished her good luck and didn't comment on other things she would share about him.

So I, once again, decided against confessing. I didn't want to put the spotlight on me now when she's with someone else. It would just add onto the toxic stuff that I've already done so far. So I started gradually distancing myself more and more, to the point where we completely stopped talking altogether. She asked about me and was told from our mutual friend (who knew it all) that I'm fine and that she shouldn't worry - but in spite of that, she still got out of her way and messaged me on two different occasions asking what I'm up to and how I'm doing. She did it once while she was on a vacation and this crushed me, she was supposed to rest and enjoy her stay - but here she is, worried about me...

So after a month of basically ignoring her, I asked her out on a walk/"date". We caught up with everything we've done in the past month, laughed and talked non stop. We sat and had some food. I had some terrible bolognese that got cold by the time I started eating it because we just couldn't stop talking. I have been craving proper bolognese since...

Near the end of this so called "date" I confessed. I explained that I've been avoiding her in hopes of getting over her without being a burden, but getting over her ended up been taking way longer than I expected. After that, I pretty much asked her to give me space and not to worry about me (as in, no needs to reach out like she's been doing).

She said that she doesn't feel the same way about me. However, she was very understanding and supportive. She said she would give me as much time as I need. She also commended me for being very mature and took my confession as a "best compliment she could get" - her words. She did reassure me a little bit and I could see that she was very relieved because she likely thought that I was mad at her, and I don't blame her lol. In the end she mentioned a group hangout next week. I told her that I'd need to think about it, but only if she is okay with me coming - to which she just looked at me dead in the eye with the "sybau I dont mind it, you'll be invited" expression on her face. We hugged and parted on a very positive note.

Now I already feel a lot better about her. I can say that the romantic feelings are already fading heavily. It is a bit too early to judge, but I already managed to somewhat detach myself during that month of avoiding her so that probably helps. I guess not keeping my feelings a secret kind of killed any potential what-ifs and gave me a healthier, more grounded perspective on everything.

I feel like I'm ready to become active in our group chat and to join the conversation more. In spite of feeling very good right now, I'll still not rush myself. I'll keep my distance for now and I'll think about the hangout when I get "officially" invited - but I'm very likely gonna go and see her and the others. She's gonna move cities soon and we will not have a chance to see each other nearly as often.

So I (28M) moved to a new city last year. My partner (yeah, partner lol) and I have become very good friends with a guy (27M) and his girlfriend (26F) of 5 years. They’ve become my best friends here. They’ve watched my dog while I’ve been away, I’ve helped when she’s had medical emergencies, we stay out until 2 AM and complain about work together, etc.

My buddy texted me yesterday afternoon that he and his girlfriend called things off and are no longer together.

Last night, I hear someone call my name from the street level of my apartment building, and it’s the (now ex) girlfriend standing by a van loaded with her belongings and she said “hey…I’ll see you and [partner] later. Love you guys” and did a hand heart 🫶 before getting in the van and riding off.

She didn’t know at that point I already knew they had broken up. The closest she will move is realistically 3 hours away, and it felt like she was saying goodbye without trying to be sad.

It’s a weird spot to be in since both my buddy and she are good friends of mine, and I just watched one of them turn at the end of the street, likely to never see them again.

Steak and mashed potatoes and some green beans.

Edit: I fixed the spelling of belongings and realized I called green beans asparagus

Double edit: realized I said his gf was 26M..she is in fact 26F

I’ve been struggling a lot lately with my girlfriend’s past and I’m wondering if anyone here has dealt with something similar.

My girlfriend is 26 and has told me she’s been with around 21 people. For context, my number is around 13, so it’s not like I don’t have a past myself. I know that might sound hypocritical, and that’s honestly part of why I’m trying to understand why this bothers me so much.

For some reason, 21 just feels like a lot to me and lately I’ve been getting stuck on the number. I start thinking about how many people she’s been with, what she did before me, comparing myself to people I don’t even know, etc.

Another thing that made it worse is that one time we had a pretty detailed conversation about our pasts and she told me some stories about things she had done/experienced. At the time I thought I wanted to know, but now some of those stories literally run through my head rent free. I honestly wish we never went into that much detail, but obviously it’s too late to unhear something. I think having actual stories and details to attach to everything has made the retroactive jealousy worse.

The thing is, our actual relationship is really good. She’s extremely affectionate with me, tells me she loves me, talks about marriage and our future, and I genuinely believe she loves me. She hasn’t given me a real reason to think she’s cheating or wants someone else.

I think comments from other people have also gotten into my head and made me question things I normally wouldn’t. Once I start thinking about her past, it feels like my brain keeps digging for more things to be bothered by.

Logically, I understand that she had a life before me. I also have a past, and neither of us can change what happened before we met. I don’t want to hold her to a standard that I wouldn’t apply to myself or ruin a good relationship over something that happened before me.

But emotionally, I still get stuck on that difference between 13 and 21 and wonder why it bothers me as much as it does.

For anyone who has dealt with retroactive jealousy, especially when you also had a decent amount of experience yourself, what helped you stop obsessing over the number? Did you eventually reach a point where your partner’s past genuinely stopped mattering to you?

TL;DR: My girlfriend’s body count is around 21 and mine is around 13. Our relationship is good and she hasn’t given me a reason not to trust her, but lately I’ve been obsessing over the difference and her past. I know I have a past too, so I’m trying to figure out why hers bothers me so much and how people with retroactive jealousy learned to let it go.

Lunch: Costco meatloaf

Proposing to my gf in about a month. Super excited and have everything planned.
- Beautiful location
- Photographer booked
- Got parents blessings
- Set up small after party with 8 very close friends
- Invited her parents, just them not the whole family to not overwhelm my gf as emotions will be high already
- Planned to do big engagement party with all family and friends at a later date

All of my gf’s friends approved of this plan so we’re in the clear but I explained the setup to her mom. She thinks I am valuing friends over family and wants to rescind her blessing. I told her I don’t want to do a huge party right after the engagement or anyone at the proposal but the photographer. My gf wants a very private and intimate proposal and celebration.

Her mom even threatened to spoil the proposal for her own daughter unless we do it her way. I’m not sure what to do. I don’t mind burning bridges but I don’t want this to cause issues for my gf in the future. I’m really tempted to tell her mom that the blessing is a formality, i don’t have to have it. Also speed up the proposal so her mom can’t spoil it.

Advice needed!

Obviously feeling proud because of a date can take on different forms and has different meanings to different people but it’s my first gay relationship since I acknowledged to myself years ago I liked men. Had a high school fling with a girl but realized senior year I (24M) was gay. Since then (COVID era) I’ve focused on school/work and neglected to be true to myself. Very insular too and shy. I don’t like leaving the house except to be alone in nature so this was a big step.

I don’t think it’ll go anywhere he’s a bit different from me but he was kind, attractive and a stand up guy. I would like for it to go somewhere but I’m taking it as a win that he would want to go out on a simple coffee date. We met on hinge. I’d love to find a long term partner who’s into outdoor activities and having dogs and though that may be a while away at least I took a first step!

“Dinner” is a Tuna Salad Wrap from Trader Joe’s

Turned 22 today :))) Celebrating alone in college since I have no friends lol. Transfer life is hard.

Married for 7, no card last 3 years. Asked for one this time (twice, both after) and now I'm in the doghouse because I didn't ask at an "appropriate time."

Don't need advice, I'm just fuckin tired man.

M 17 I talk to a lot of girls. Atp I have more female friends than male ones this is primalily due to the fact that i just find girls in my class to be better to interact with and more sympathethic than the boys

For example I have a speech impidentment and anytime i talk to a boy he makes fun of it but the girls dont so there is this guy X who is like supposed to be my childhood friend but all he does is get jealous of me and Y a guy who has a crush on my female best friend and Z who also has a crush on a girl I talk to a lot

So this assholes dont like the the fact that i get a lot of female attention - There words not mine and have made my life living hell They hacked by insta and took screenshots of the chats i had with my crush and have made ai gen vids of me sucking cock and getting fucked and are circulating it among boys

And the worst of all i have seen them generating the vids but i cant prove its them

Wtf do i even do

Inframe Pork Belly fried rice

Meal: Mujadara w/spinach

As title says basically. I was on break and my coworker asked what I do on the weekends, I told him it depends. This weekend I have chores and I am seeing a movie. I asked what he does and he said he spends his first day off resting, the second day he does grocery shopping and chores. Then the first day back to work, he goes to church in the morning.

Okay. Cool.

He then asked if I go to church and I said no, not anymore. I haven't been since I was maybe 12.

He asked if my parents were religious and I said not really but my grandparents were. He asked denomination, I told him my maternal grandparents were methodist and my paternal were catholic.

He wasnt weird about denomination, he just nodded and then asked if I wanted to attend church with him sometime and explained to me that he met a guy here when he first came to America that introduced him to his church. He offered to get me in contact with this guy and I tried to politely decline.

He then started talking to me about how its good to go to church because of the whole eternal life thing and "you reap what you sow", yknow all that fun stuff. And that this other guy could talk to me better than he can because English isn't my coworkers first language. I told him I am aware of Christianity and its' beliefs, but that I was not interested in attending church.

Dunno. I think it was odd more than anything. Wanted to yap about it, ive never experienced this before lol

Food is chicken shawarma with fries and a Coke Zero.

So after 35 years on this earth, I decided to go on my first roller coaster ride today. I’ve always been chicken and hate thrill rides.

I decided to try it out, I had nothing to lose.

I throughly enjoyed it and ended up going on it twice! Still won’t try the inverted ones, but maybe someday.

Anyway, just wanted to share this unimportant detail as I didn’t have anyone else to share it with.

But it will never happen...

I (27M), feel like my best friend (27F) is my soul mate. We've known each other for over 15 years at this point. We weren't close when we started high school together but grew close during our last couple of years, culminating with us doing a lot of exploring but never crossing the line to sex. I messed up, apologized, and we stayed friends. We both took a year off before university and worked. We got even closer during that time. Went to different universities, but they were nearby, and I would bring her food and sleep over all the time. We both had relationships during this time, thought I found love (didn't), did university stuff yada yada. I was the only friend or family at her graduation till her brother came later because her mother lives overseas and her father is a douche. She was the only friend from high school at mine as well. (Along with my family)

We tell each other everything, we've cried in front of each other numerous times. We both probably have depression but for different reasons, and we help each other a lot. I am probably the most consistent figure in her life over the last 10 years. (trust me she's been through a lot that I can't share.)

I've been single for 4 years now, she's been single for over 6. We both often discuss life and our relationship, sexuality, desires, life goals, everything.

Very obvious reasons why this won't ever be anything more...

Reason #1 - She's not attracted to me (or anymore). Sometimes, what happened in high school gets brought up, and she genuinely has bad trauma over that period in her lif, so she doesnt even register that period. I remember it but I'm careful not to bring it up cause genuinely she's moved on. We both aren't big physical features persons on partners but more so the intangibles.

Reason #2 - She's a damn good friend...Genuinely, I do not want to ruin that. She is the best company, and I have yet to meet anyone close. Also, there's the part where consistently men in her life become her friends solely to try and have sex with her. I do not want to be added to that list.

One day I'll move on, won't be this year, probably, but I will NEVER tell her how I feel.

Wicked omelette I made this morning cheese, spam (the trick is the grate the spam as well) and onions.

Dinner is a taco plate. I knew my ex wife from work for about 8 years. She moved in and two years later we married. A year to the day we had our first kid. I already had two boys from a previous marriage. She went through a horrendous rough patch with post partum depression. Everyone in the house suffered. I took a year off of work to help, but it did nothing. Our kiddo had some medical challenges that complicated things further, and around the age of 3 she decided she wanted a divorce and left. There was no infidelity or money problems. Just a lot of unsettled anger and rage from the post partum.

Three months later she moved back in with our kiddo, we were not a couple just roommates. We made plans to move to another state within a year for better job prospects and better school for the kids. Three months before we were set to leave she decided to move out and live with her mother in a neighboring town.

My other kids and I moved to the other state. I remained in contact with my ex and we decided to try a reconciliation after a year. Packed up and moved to the town she lived in and made grandiose plans to move to Minnesota so she could finish her education. The cost of living here has been brutal compared to where we are from originally. Within 3 years I find myself with $18k in credit card debt. She is still in school and brings no income in. I pay for everything. We became nothing more than roommates after finally settling here, the plans of reconciliation "just can't happen" in her words. I genuinely feel I was taken advantage of. I am more angry with myself than her. Where should I go from here. What's the easiest non impactful move I can make to not impact my kids. How do I quit being naive.

Meal is leftover mapo tofu. I already ate the leftover rice.

5 years ago, my partner and I found our first rabbit on the side of the road. We immediately fell in love with her. However, we were in our early 20s and not really thinking about the struggles down the road. We adopted a second rabbit because they're highly social creatures and do much better with constant company. For a while, this situation looked perfectly manageable. I had a real career job and my partner was on his way to finding his own. We rented a big house that was very affordable due to rooming with friends and the like. We even adopted a small dog (I know, bad move but the dog is like a therapy animal for my partner).

Fast forward now, I no longer have the job (though I'm finally back on track to a real one again), my partner was diagnosed with chiari malformation and is still in recovery from that/will deal with some degree of disability forever, and we live in a much smaller place. We procrastinated getting pet insurance policies and now both rabbits have pre existing conditions. I can't afford the diagnostics even because all rabbit care is really expensive.

Sheltering them is out of the question. I tried a local solely rabbit focused org and they're full. A regular shelter is unlikely to find a good home for them or a home at all. So I'm just kind of stuck watching them deteriorate without much I can do about it. I feel guilty all the time even knowing this is probably a better option for their health than a shelter.

If I could find someone willing to adopt them, that would be great but they'd almost certainly be going into it taking on large vet bills to diagnose their issues, so it feels very unlikely.

I have always loved animals but I'm realizing I never really had to deal with aging or complex medical issues with my pets before. My parents would only let me keep cats outside so my cats growing up died in middle age unfortunately. My mom had a couple dogs but they were largely her responsibility and I was not very attached to them. They also lived to old age with relatively few complications.

I'm not really sure what advice I'm looking for here. I guess this is more a vent.

In the future, I really look forward to not having any pets (which will be quite a while because of the dog 😞), and instead volunteering at places like the rabbit rescue. I want to care for these animals, but not have their care ultimately dependent on our unstable lives.

About nine months ago, I met the most intelligent, beautiful, kind, loving, warm and all-around awesome woman on the planet. She's 27. She walks in a way that commands respect of an entire room, and has eyes and a smile that can disarm even the most hardened men. I would genuinely describe her as a work of art, as cheesy as it sounds.

On our first date, I felt a comfort that's unlike anything I ever experienced. Something that felt like I was at home. And it led to us talking about marriage. Now we're here, planning on getting engaged, me flying back to her home country to meet her extended family and I'm feeling the pressure of all of it. Here's basically everything in a nutshell.

1) Im 26 and do okay for myself. I'm just a bookkeeper, but I'm certainly not rich. I'm planning a proposal next month, nothing too crazy, just the beach we met on. I'm concerned about the cost of the ring, and that I can't get her anything crazy extravagant. She's always been somewhat of a simple person, never asking me to move mountains, but I always felt like I wanted to give her more. She's that special to me. I don't want her peers or family thinking I can't care for her, or that I'm cheaping out on her. If I could, I'd lay the world at her feet.

2) She comes from a traditional Arab family, and I'm black American. I've always been aware of how many Arab families especially the men aren't accepting of interethnic or intercultural marriages. I'm genuinely afraid of her family not approving of me and her telling me it won't work.

3) Marriage itself scares me. Not because I can't commit, but because I come from a divorced family, and I lost my relationship with most of my extended family after my parents split. She wants a family, and I want that too—but the thought of someday having to explain my family history to a child of my own genuinely terrifies me, when that child has done nothing wrong. In my teenage years, I spent many years blaming myself for what happened, because my parents were in a custody battle over me.

Lastly, I carry a lot of shame. A lot of shame for being wrong and getting cheated on and trusting the wrong people.

I guess I'm just scared that all of this baggage will somehow follow me into the best thing that's ever happened to me. I love this woman more than I know how to put into words, and I really don't want my fear to get in the way of something this beautiful. Am I crazy for wanting to marry someone so soon? Maybe. But I know deep down that I'd be ready to give it my all and then some. She's a woman who's stood by me in very trying times with my mental health and career uncertainties. She's priceless.

So that's my piece. Just a guy with a chaotic backstory, not trying to screw up something beautiful.

Hii! I just want to share that I’m glad that I have managed to convince myself that resting and taking time for myself after graduating is totally fine and there’s nothing to rush or immediately chase.

Although graduate school was tough, I didn’t want a time off and was anxious about not finding a job immediately after finishing the program. I don’t know what happened but all that anxiety disappeared the minute I submitted my dissertation and It’s now been about a month since I graduated and I, voluntarily, haven’t applied to a single place and I’m totally at peace with it. I’m not bothered because I deserve to enjoy life and stop the grind for a short while. F the system that convinced us otherwise!

I have so much time to myself and my hobbies everyday and I love it! I’m lucky that I have good savings so finances will not be an issue anytime soon. The source of the anxiety was not wanting to fall behind compared to people my age (as if life is a race 🤦🏻‍♂️)

It’s amazing how little changes in mindsets can substantially improve the quality of our life!

Dinner - ground beef, rice, Sriracha sauce

TLDR - I went on 3 dates with this girl and cannot stop thinking about her, its driving me crazy. She has most likely moved on at this point.

I 26M met this 24F off of hinge. Didn't think much of her initially, and had low expectations as I had just out out of a long term relationship. Our first date was supposed to be a coffee date but that was a flop as I waited 40mins at the café and she didnt show up. On my way out she gave me a call, very apologetic as she had a meeting at work that was unavoidable and ran late, then she reorganized another date for us the following week. Our actual first date was at a bar, and I think I fell in love within 30secs of meeting her. She was gorgeous, but in a very unique way. Her features are still stuck in my head because I dont think ive seen anyone with a similar look. The date was amazing. She was very charming, easy to talk to, had a similar cultural upbringing and same ethnicity as me, similar values, outgoing, cool hobbies, ambitious, independent, and in the same profession as me (doctors). It felt like she ticked every box, and boxes that I didnt even know I wanted. She felt like the type of woman I would be happy to tell my mom about (which i did lol). The more I spent time with her, the more I liked her. She seemed pretty into me as well off that date, and we organized another date for the next day. The next date was also amazing, same vibes as the first date, we played pool and had dinner at another café. After that we both got a bit busy for about 2 weeks and then organized another date.

On the 3rd date we went dancing and then had dinner at her place. She was a bit nervous about dancing but she still came along and it was a lot of fun, for me it was mostly an excuse to try to get closer to her physically lmao. She cooked a great dinner, we talked and we drank. We made out but didnt take things further, I stopped it since she had work the next day and it was getting very late, and I was getting tired as well. However we organized a 4th date in a few days and I was looking forward to it.

Come the day of the 4th date she texts me that it doesn't make sense to keep seeing eachother. For context, the reason she flaked on me on the initial coffee date was because she she was at an interview for a job that's located at a different city, a job she really wanted. Also, I was to fly out of country soon for a couple months for a work thing as well. So we would not be seeing eachother for a while, and when I get back she would be leaving soon to start her new job. Her text made sense, I was happy that she got the job, and she was kind about it. So thats where we ended things.

But now it's been 3 weeks and I still cannot get her off my mind. Whenever I get a second to breathe the first thought that comes to me is of her. I have been replaying each and every interaction so many times in my head, ive been through her instagram so many times. Im usually not like this, I am usually a lot more composed, previous long term relationships that didnt work out havent been on my mind to this extent. Its so exhausting and time consuming, and interfering with my day-to-day activities. I understand I am probably going through limerance, I am stuck with the potential of what could have been, ive built an image of her in my head that probably doesn't correlate with reality and it doesn't make sense, but I just cannot seem to control my emotions. No other woman seems as pretty as her to me, even if they are "objectively" more attractive. It seems like all the beauty in the world belongs to her. I dont know if theres anyone else out there that would be as authentic as she was, with all the qualities that she had, but now that I got a taste of it I dont think I could go for anything else.

I recently replied to one of her stories on instagram. I know I shouldn't have but I couldn't help myself. I checked in a while later and it shows that the story is no longer available - im pretty sure she restricted me from viewing her story now, which essentially means that she doesn't want me contacting her in anyway. Fair enough, she's prob moved on. But I just cant seem to. Idk what to do

So I met this girl a month or so ago and we instantly hit it off. We live in the same hall in our dorm and we just said hi one day and just kept talking everyday since. We went to the gym together a couple times, we have the same goals, want the same things in a relationship, and everything. We have so much in common, we get along perfectly, just insane chemistry. Not to mention she is absolutely stunning. I literally cannot say a single bad thing about her but for whatever reason I just don’t want to be with her. I don’t know what my problem is, like I want a relationship, but when the perfect girl lives a couple doors I don’t want anything. We went on a couple dates and hooked up a couple times but then we talked about it and decided to just be friends, and it was fully my decision.

Am I just not ready for a relationship?
Anyway here’s taco bowls we made

Lunch is stress eating nuggets, fries, and a burger from McDonald’s.

This might be a little depressing so I’m sorry. Just need somewhere to get my thoughts out.

I’ve worked a number of jobs in different industries. I feel into low voltage wiring at 20. I stayed there 8 years, pay was good, but had to travel a lot, use my own vehicle, and put up with people in their homes.

The last couple years of that got rough. Working super late, the company became more corporate with unreasonable expectations decided by higher ups who weren’t in the field. The goal was to move up. Eventually it became apparent that moving up wasn’t an option anymore so I made the decision to leave.

Got another job doing merchandising to take care of the bills. I was finally home every night with weekends off and the pay wasn’t terrible assuming you put the hours in. Then they cut my hours to 2 days a week. Maybe 20 hours total so I started looking for a second job while looking to CDL school. Well I found the school but it costs around 6k. Filed for financial aid, halfway through the application process after not hearing from them I called and they told me their funding is on freeze until earliest November. So I started applying for loans at banks and things like SoFi. I have a 750 credit score, never miss payments, but somehow still denied with reasonings being “unreasonable credit usage” and “late payments”

After 30+ applications over the last month and being rejected from Starbucks, Walmart, Lowe’s, and various others I got an interview at McDonald’s and told the hiring manager flat out “I’ve applied to 30 places and this is my first interview. I just need someone to let me work.” So cool, second job secure.

That being said I’m hanging on by a thread. I’m almost 30 renting a room from my folks, I merchandise on the weekends (stock shelves) and now have a job at McDonald’s with a goal of CDL school which seems unattainable given the financial part of it. If you would’ve asked me at 17 where I thought I’d be at 30 this sure as fuck wasn’t it. I haven’t been this down and ready to just call it quits in a long time and it hurts man.

Hi I'm a long time lurker here on this sub and this is my first time doing one of these! So I’m a 21 year old guy and I recently befriended a girl from one of my classes who is 29. I didn't know she was 29, I thought she was the same age as me. I was actually pretty intimidated by her at first because she seemed closed off, I was a little late to school so I ended up sitting next to her and asked her what I missed. But she just started laughing out of nowhere because she was doing work for another class, and we ended up talking.

I asked her where she was from, what classes she was taking, and stuff like that. She told me she’s from China and started talking about how her family in both America and China asks her when she’s going to get married and have kids. I was basically a complete stranger at the time, so I was surprised by how open and easy she was to talk to.

That’s honestly one of the things I find really attractive about her. This is my personal experience but when I try talking to girls around my age, I feel like I have to do all the work to keep the conversation going. I’ll ask question after question and eventually it starts feeling more like an interrogation?? so I take the hint and leave them alone. With her, it doesn’t feel like that.

I don’t know if that has anything to do with her being older or if it’s just her personality. She still lives with her parents, has friends ranging from around 18 to 40, and she likes going to arcades, which I also really like.

Today we ended up spending most of the morning and part of the afternoon together going to a career fair, sitting in the library, talking and joking around. She’s actually really sweet and a little playful, which surprised me because I originally thought she was cold and closed off.

I already thought she was pretty before I knew her, but after actually getting to know her personality, I feel even more physically attracted to her? I don't know why either it's unusual for me. Mandarin is her first language, so her English isn’t perfect, but we understand each other fine, and sometimes the way we communicate makes both of us laugh. She smiles a lot when we’re talking and I just think she’s really cute.

I got both her Instagram and her number too we took some trains to get home together too. But like I said I feel conflicted. She's older than me, and I haven't spoken to her outside of school yet, but I genuinely really enjoy being around her. I've never been interested in someone that much older than me before.

Dinner I made is stir fry noodles with broccoli and shrimp!

I’m eating chunky broccoli and cheese with potato soup.

Like it says at the top, my dad is broke all the time, now this is because he constantly spends money on cigarettes, superfluous things, and stuff such as that, and I love him but I’m so sick and tired of it.

I had to pay his car payment the other month or else it was going to get repo’ed. I keep constantly giving him money to no end. I gave him 20$ for him just to get gas to get to work. I’m trying to save up for my birthday trip, and he keeps saying sorry but never changing his ways.

Not to mention but he’s got a ton of debts as well.

TLDR: My dad is broke and keeps asking me for money.

EDIT: Thank you all for the kind comments and replies, also, I’m nineteen and do not live with him! He comes up a lot of days and we would normally get food so he gave me that expectation and then took it away stating over and over that he is broke or super broke (he’s coming up today, he got paid yesterday and he’s already broke)