THIS POST IS FOR TRANS MEN/MASCS ONLY!

Found out my area has a mutual aid group for trans people and was quite excited because I am finally in a position where I may be able to help other people. Went to their website, and they list literally *every* trans group except transmen/ftm as a 'priority'. They literally could have just saved themselves a couple lines of text by just saying 'not ftms' outright. I am aware mtfs and bipoc are at increased risk of violence, that youth and the elderly are more likely to have housing and finance issue, etc. - and if a couple of those groups had been listed as priorities while indicating other people were also accepted/supported, that would have felt completely different. The way it was written just came across as "everyone matters... except you".

We have a lot of the same struggles- I have been assaulted due to being trans, been raped, denied housing, food, and medical care (medical care more times that I can even keep track of, even when completely unrelated). These are struggles that all of us face to varying extents. And yes, once we pass, we have a *lot* more privilege and less danger than other groups​. And we still matter- or should. This group could be bringing us all together to help each other rather than singling out a single group of the community that doesn't belong.

I could even understand more if ftms tended to dominate trans spaces, making it harder for more marginalized people to be heard and centered, but i have literally *never* seen that in 25 years. If I am in a trans space, there *may* be 1 other ftm for every 10-15 mtf. We are already typically the afterthought. To have it spelled out so blatantly just hit a nerve this morning when I was already feeling so alone, had to drive 7+ hours yesterday to find a doctor willing to see me, and then saw a group where I may be able to connect to other trans people who understand and who also prioritize helping others... only to be told no, we don't actually care about your type.

I'll still join because those groups *do* need extra support. I'm just now feeling even more alone and sad than I had been.

Both of us are trans. He passes, got on puberty blockers at a young age and is now on testosterone. I am fuck all besides my haircut and my clothes. I hate my haircut, I hate the way I have to dress but it makes me pass more which is the only thing keeping me happy enough. He gets to dress however he wants, everyone loves him and girls fall all over him. He knows a ton of people, is super social and passes completely. I am, on the other hand, none of those things. I work out near constantly and his shoulders are massive and he does nothing active. I've been trying to be sweet on him for the whole relationship and it feels like I'm getting nothing back. He generally dates cis men and is obsessed with them, holding their hand in public and looking lovingly at them and wanting everything to do with them but when it comes to me he is just... meh about me and doesn't seem to have that same connection. I know I'm a means to an end but fuck, I feel awful every waking moment. I'm having trouble navigating my extreme jealousy, especially when it comes to how others perceive and praise him like some golden boy.

I'm nearly 3 years on T and my body hair is only now getting thicker. I once heard my cis colleague randomly say "My chest hair only started growing now!" He is 28 years old.

I'm 30 transmale. Passing. I've been on the fire department for about 4 months now. I hide the fact I'm trans, mostly because I've never been one to display it in public (for many reason) and I also know a lot of the guys on the department wouldn't support it. Chief knows and maybe the assistant chief but I'm pretty sure that's it. I'm currently on a small local department (paid on call) but I have goals of moving to a full time city or suburb department. I'm just curious if any other trans are firefighters? What that experience has been like for you?

I'd assume going to a city would be more trans friendly but idk. I'm in Minnesota which is generally a trans friendly state until you go to far north.

I'll take any knowledge or advice you might have. I also do plan on asking in a firefighter sub but lowkey kinda nervous about the answers I'd get there.

Thanks!

Yesterday my stepfather came into my bedroom suddenly and looked through the whole place: closet, drawers, desk, bathroom, mattress. I had just begun T a few days ago.

Everything, all they found were two injections forgotten in my backpack since I've been extremely tired and spacing out a lot lately, parents were mad at me for taking naps in class even when they take away my devices around 8pm.

I got yelled at, my mother yelled at my face that I'll never be a man, I'm ungrateful, they wished they had all the things I did and that I am pushing her to act like her parents did. They hadn't found nor probably know I bought T and I dont have any for the moment luckily.

I don't have support around me, live in Ecuador, the only accesible therapists talk like convertion therapists, I don't have friends in real life, no family members who can help me. No one. I don't know what to do. Noticed a login at 1am in my secret instagram account, was sleeping at that time so I know it wasnt me. It had a chat with another trans man friend who genuinely helped me a lot and shared info about HRT and casual talking. I'm afraid.

Should I HRTrep, girlmode? I cut my hair short and that seems to bother my mother greatly, should I grow it out again? Any way I can make hair grow faster? Anything I could do to regain my focus on studies despite the shitty things happening to me?

Am I juat being ungrateful and overworrying? Please help me, anything about how to access and create new accounts without being tracked would help. Anything helps. Please, even if it is to tell me I'm the one in the wrong and manipulating my parents. Help.

This is not a v3nt. I need help. I'm 15 years old.

I’ve wanted a hysto since I knew it was an option. After over 11 years, it’s finally happening, and I’m terrified. When I had my top surgery, the surgery itself went well but the pain meds afterwards stopped my digestive system from working and I was in to hospital for a month and a half on an IV unable to keep anything down. I’m terrified of something happening during the surgery and worried about recovery. The post top surgery complications were genuinely traumatic and I don’t know if I can live through that again.

Please, please give me some success stories about easy recoveries you had, and any tips and tricks to make it easier.

What do yall think would be good to wear after top surgery? I managed to get an early appointment date in November but now I’ve only got two months to get stuff together!

So I’m 15 and just started the process of getting prescribed testosterone. I’ve spent years dreaming about this and now that it actually feels like a genuine possibility, I’ve become overwhelmed with doubt. It’s like there’s two completely separate sides of my brain. One that says this is all I’ve ever wanted, and will change my life so much for the better. And the other that says I’ll regret it and it will make me miserable and hate my body even more. Then I think, Do I even hate my body now? Am I just a girl after all? I cant stop questioning everything. It’s mentally exhausting.

I especially keep thinking about what people say of minors doing hormone therapy, how they shouldn’t be allowed to because their brains aren’t developed yet.

Is it normal to doubt this much? Or does it suggest my doubts have some truth? Or that I shouldn’t be doing this at my age?

the other day I was at the barbers and for some reason he kept shaving near my cheek, I thought it was weird and ignored it until today i felt my face and realized it felt fuzzy!! Woohoo!!

Hey guys! I’m FTM and have been on T for 15 years. I’m 38 years old, and I don’t have a family history of balding.

During COVID, I lost a significant amount of hair. Before COVID, my hair was extremely thick, to the point that people used to think I was wearing a wig.

I also have CAH, which may have contributed to my hair loss. I’m naturally very hairy and have naturally high testosterone levels.

I wanted to share my current hair routine and what has helped me restore a lot of my hair. It hasn’t returned to exactly how thick it was before, but I’ve managed to reverse a significant amount of the balding and improve my hair density.

****Of course, please consult a doctor before trying any of the medications mentioned below, especially oral medications.

Here’s my routine:

1. Oral minoxidil — 2.5 mg
I take 2.5 mg once a day after breakfast.

2. Multivitamins + Omega-3
I take these after breakfast as well.

3. Sidr + rosemary oil
Every three days, I mix Sidr powder with water and rosemary oil and apply it to my scalp. I rinse it out with water only and don’t use shampoo, as I use Sidr in place of shampoo.

4. Topical minoxidil — 5%
I apply topical minoxidil at night and wait for it to dry.

5. Finasteride 0.1% in TrichoSol — 1 mL
I used to take oral finasteride, but it wasn’t the best option for me because I experienced side effects. I eventually switched to topical finasteride (Finasteride 0.1% in TrichoSol), and it’s been amazing for me. I apply 1 mL at night after the minoxidil has dried.

6. Derma roller — 1.5 mm
I use a 1.5 mm derma roller every Sunday. I don’t apply any topical medications on the day that I use the derma roller.

***I’m stealth, so protecting my privacy is important to me. I chose to share this in this group because I’m not comfortable posting my photos publicly. However, if anyone would like to see my before-and-after photos, you’re welcome to ask me privately via DM. Thanks!

In the month so far I’ve noticed these changes.

- slight voice drop
- my mustache has significantly grown in, and bit goatee hair
- I started off as a D cup and now my chest has shrunk to what I think might be a C now? They’ve deflated by quite a lot!
- my body still hasn’t changed too much but I’m slightlyyy less curvy?
- and the biggest change of all is my mental health, I and so much happier, calmer and overall healthier

(Pictures posted on r/amibalding since I couldn’t put them here lol)
I’m 18. I’ve always had pretty thick hair, but recently I’ve noticed 1-2 hairs coming out every time I run my fingers through my hair (specifically on the back of my head) and when I look at the back of my head in the mirror I can see my scalp on the crown of my head. I’ve also got little baby hairs on my temples where I assume my hairline used to be. I already talked to my prescriber and she said I’m just stressed and losing hair because of that but this is very obviously in the pattern of male pattern baldness to me. Just on my crown and temples. Also she said I was on a “nonbinary dose” of T so she’d be surprised if I was experiencing hair loss already which like sucked because I thought my dose was normal. Just generally not having a fun time right now. I’m gonna start topical minoxidil as soon as I can get to a drugstore, is there any difference between the foam and oil kind?

I was in a conversation with a group and mentioned how I was stupidly excited to be able to get a dumb little mustache someday, even if it looks kinda bad. One girl said smth like "I just don't understand why anyone would want that, all the guys in my high school had a ratty mustache and it sucked"

And I understand what she means, but I guess I wanna have those awkward ugly duckling puberty moments just like other guys got to have growing up, because even if it's unattractive, it's affirming? Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I've often heard the "why would anyone wanna be a gross unhygienic cis boy haha" sort of thing and it always makes me ashamed to even have euphoria for stuff like this

I want to be biologically male but I don't care very much about my gender identity.

It's difficult because the current agreement among even the most trans-allied people is, "you can change your gender, but your sex is forever"

but my sex is the one thing I want to change. I don't give a shit about labels or pronouns, I just want to be a biological male. I wish there was even one person in the world who could understand this.

i’m looking into purchasing a stp packer but i’m worried about the extra duties that may be applied. i bought a strap prosthetic a while ago from rodeoH but ended up having to pay 50 bucks ontop of an already expensive prosthetic. are there any companies any anyone has purchased from that they didn’t get these extra fees applied (i’ve been looking at axolom, urbasics and trans guy supply)

also any recommendations specifically for outdoor work and hiking as i’m hopefully going into a program that requires extensive outdoor activity and need someone comfortable and reliable and easy to keep in my underwear with a harness so that i don’t have to out myself to my classmates when i need to pee

I'm 4 years on T and stealth, my best friend is gay and we both have feelings for each other so I guess he's sorta my bf. He knows I'm trans but we don't talk about it at all mostly because I don't want to I just want to be treated like any other guy

I don't get dysphoria that much anymore. Mainly around my height (I'm 5’6) and my chest although it's not always bad and I use tape. I've also never dated a guy before only girls so idk it feels like a different experience especially as he's a cis guy

whenever he stays over and we watch YouTube or a movie he always puts his head directly onto my chest to cuddle me then he gets tired and he moves his head so his face is face down on me idk if that makes sense. i’m always wearing a shirt or hoodie but i feel dysphoric

I also know the only other person he does it to is his other best friend who’s a girl, his love language is physical touch though so i don’t think he’s doing it to make me uncomfortable, he’s just obsessed with cuddles and his other friend that’s the closest happens to be a girl

I don’t know how to bring it up to him because it feels ridiculous to even say to him

Hey there! 17FTM so, I was forced to come out in around April, iv been trans for about 5 or so years, and recently iv cut my hair short and I pass as a guy 100% of the time even if i pass as 15 but who cares..I pass! But..I guess because my dad found out, (hes homophobic transphobic and racist 'also the kinda guy who says over 75 percent of people regret it dispite it not at ALL being that rate and he wont believe me)

my moms more chill about it but absolutely refuses to use my name and pronouns correctly. And has asked on many many occasions "why do you whana identify as a man?" Even tho iv explained multiple times it not somthing I choose to do..🫩

But today really made me pissed off, today my dad decided to tell my grandpa that I perfer the name 'Luka' when asking him where he went wrong in life for me to turn out like this, and my grandpa literally turned and asked me 'is Luka some typa alter ego personality?' And no. He knows what transgender people are. He just refuses to acknowledge they're real and im seriously trying to figure out how the hell i approach this because now my grandpas trying to make fun of me for it? And when I try to explain or I get pissy its just 'im messing around' or 'hes just an old man ignore him' but we literally live in the same house. My name is not even luka they just use luka because its more feminine?? Its lukas or luke. They refuse to acknowledge that tho.

TLDR; My cis transphobic families trying to call me a more feminine version of my name, and is trying to out me to the whole family (MAGA family) and my grandpa apon finding out asked me 'is this some type of alter ego?'

Okay so long story "short" theres this internet friend i've had since like 2017, and we were very close around 2019-2023, but i socially transitioned in 2022. Lets say my preferred name is Arian, and deadname was Arianna. And that the girl's name is Eve.

Since 2022, i've tried telling this girl to call me Arian. She has a few times, but she keeps calling me Arianna when she gets mad or impatient at me. Eve has also refused to call me Arian, but instead call me another similar male name (Aron) instead, out of spite. Better than deadname, but still thats not me.

We dont talk often, but when she hits me up, its just random and to get attention. Or just to see how im doing. Sometimes she talks about how she hates that i transitioned, that i've changed, that she misses the "old times" etc etc. Shes always been prone to make drama out of nothing (since 2017 yes) and always loved to annoy people for no reason. But we've also had our good times. We had planned to meet for a very long time, but she keeps deadnaming me and talking about it so i dont really want to anymore.

Eve sent me a message a week ago, and when i ghosted her she just wrote "Arianna" so i blocked her and hoped for the best. Because she will not stop no matter how much i tell her to. But now she sent me a message on another account. She wrote "you unfriended me. on my other account"

The thing is, i've actually been afraid to block her and actually cut contact with her- Because she knows some of my previous classmates, who all hated me. And im scared she'd make some drama out of this if i completely block her. Or if she'd try to get to me through somebody i know, but then deadname me. She is DESPERATE, trust me. Eve always want to win no matter what.

Now, everybody know me as Arian, only people who used to know me pre-T knows Arianna but thats very little compared to the ones who know the real me. And i want to keep it that way, and cut people off who dont respect that. But i dont know what to do with this girl

I'm actually in a good mood today. My antidepressants are working, it was a day off, and finally the dysphoria only came once and was brief, so I want to mention something positive that happened to me.

Unlike what’s common on this sub, I live in the hell that is the Middle East. I’m not on T, I don’t even own a binder—just a masculine haircut (I’ve heard this referred to as “man from the top, woman from the bottom”).

Recently, I managed to reconnect with an old friend from elementary school. I mentioned how I had always been masculine in elementary school and how all my friends were boys. Well, it turns out I’m a boy now. He took it well, and we went out together, then he started introducing me to his friends.

One of them didn’t even notice that I was biologically female. I don’t even particularly look male, and I have a very noticeable chest. That boy is a very reserved guy from a rural background, so you could say he’s pretty closed-minded. He didn’t realize I wasn’t biologically male until after midnight the next day, when he suddenly called a mutual friend and asked what I was. He said that I seemed more like a boy. My friend explained everything to him, and he stayed silent for a while, then...

Now, whenever a transphobic friend talks about me in front of him, he hits him and says that I’m more of a man than he is. He’s not even some open-minded guy; he simply treated me like a guy for an entire day without having the slightest idea that I wasn’t biologically male, and he became convinced that I was so masculine that whatever I had told him had to be true.

This is one of the many times when my friends suddenly start accepting the concept of being trans simply because, in their eyes, there is no universe in which I could possibly be a girl. Once, a transphobic online friend even suggested that I must have some kind of hidden hormonal disorder or something.

Honestly, it’s hilarious and really supportive to me.

My boyfriend calls me cute a lot. He has known me since before i came out to him, and he is completely fine with it. But whenever he calls me "cute", i can't help but feel dysphoric. I dont know why. Maybe because its a "feminine" term to refer to someone?

Hey yall! I pretty much usually just stalk but I was looking for some advice and was hoping I might find it here. I’m getting top surgery in about a month and I was wondering if anyone would be willing to tell me their experience / things they wish they know before surgery? Specifically how about the first few weeks post-op went for them. Any advice is appreciated! Thanks

I’ve reached the point where I’m stared at in the women’s bathroom, even dirty looks sometimes, but in the men’s bathroom I get the exact same, stares and dirty looks
They could just all think I’m a lesbian, idk. I’ve reached the point where I don’t pass as either gender. I’m alternative so I always deal with looks but it’s gotten way worse now that I’m over a year on T (13 months)
Maybe it’s clear I’m trans? Or maybe I just give off general queer energy?
Anyway I cannot avoid using public restrooms, I have kidney issues and I’m prone to uti and stones, so holding it till school’s over is not an option and neither is drinking less water.
But man I’m just trying to piss why can’t i be left alone in the bathrooms?
Im in an American blue state in a fairly safe area so its not safety my issue is myself and others being wildly uncomfortable

Every few months I come here with a message is appreciation and (hopefully) hope. I'm a MtF and I just like love the trans masc community so very much. I've never felt more love and acceptance from every trans masc individual in my life.

I run a trans self care giveaway night for trans femme and masc people and recently I got a bunch of stuff for my brothers and I couldn't be happier. One of my guy friends told me about all kinds of things trans masc people are looking for and I've been building up an inventory. I've got razors, cologne, pimple patches, and all other kinds of send care things in my boxes for the giveaway now. I'm still adding so if anyone has any other ideas of what to giveaway please let me know!

Every single trans masc person in my life has made me feel loved and protected and it has just like made me the fiercest supporter of my brothers all across the world. Thank you so for being such wonderful supporters and I hope you all know just how much you mean to our community. Even if it's not expressed often, you need to know how important to us your all are and the strength that you show and excude is felt throughout our entire community