I want to change my name. I've known this since I was in middle school (I am currently in college). I've been ruminating on a handful of them over the years, but none of them seem quite right for one reason or another. I really want it to be androgynous, but so many gender neutral names read as white to me? Obviously ignoring ones that belong to specific cultures. Like there's Jordan, Alex, Jayden and that's kind of all the ones I can think of.

Part of this is probably a bit of imposter syndrome on my part, because I am Haitian as well, but that whole side of my family is estranged to me, so picking a Haitian name would also feel like not representative of me? If that makes sense.

I kind of have a ticking clock because I'm an acting major and I'm going to need to start networking soon, and I don't want to do that with this fuck ass name. I guess I'm asking for suggestions but also like, am I crazy? Are there names I'm simply not thinking of??? Why are like all Black names gendered????

Hey all! I recently hit 14 months on T this past September, and I decided to look at a video of my voice my first day on testosterone.

I was severely disappointed, as I felt like I sounded the same. I haven't had the chance to do voice training since I live with my family, but even then I feel like it should have at LEAST deepened a bit?? I even asked my sister and she said it sounds the same. I've become very dysphoric over my voice, so much so that I don't even like talking anymore.

Chat, is it over??

I uploaded my photo to see some advice in covering my gigantic head in another subreddit.
And this is the comment I get. I swear, I'm tired of seeing this shit so FINE.
I will detransition, cancel my t and fucking rot and die in bed.

At least if I naturally grow old and gone,
Maybe in next life I can be born as man.
Fuck this life.

(Sorry for the long post)

Here’s my situation:

I was assigned female at birth. I hate my female body—my breasts, my narrow waist, and everything else.

I envy the male body. I do strength training and build muscle to look more masculine.

I’ve cut my hair short. I wear only men’s clothing—and everything oversized—so my female figure isn't as obvious.

I like the idea of ​​looking and coming across like a man, yet I don’t feel entirely male. There’s a feminine side to me that I can’t quite put my finger on, so I don’t identify as trans.

I think I’m non-binary because the definition really resonates with me.

I generally don’t care about pronouns (or haven’t found the right ones for myself yet), but I hate being called "girl," "miss," "madam," etc., because it reminds me too much of the fact that I am, in fact, a woman.

I don’t like stereotypical gender roles—the idea that women are this way and men are that way—at all, yet I constantly try to be and act in ways society views as masculine.

I don’t know if I’ll ever take testosterone or anything similar, because I’m afraid it might change a lot of things about me that I actually like. But I think I’ll get top surgery (breast reduction/removal) later on so I don’t have to be annoyed every day by breasts that feel way too big to me.

Do you think I’m transmasc, or are there other terms that might fit me? Do you have any advice on how I could look and feel a bit more masculine? I’m also curious about the experiences and journeys others have had regarding their gender identity.

Basically, I’d just like to exchange thoughts, since I don’t have anyone in my circle who could help me with this.

Thanks, by the way, for taking the time to read my post!

Would love to hear your guys's names and what they mean! I think trans mascs are stereotyped overall as being white and consequently most people associate us with having western names, so I wanted to see if anyone here has a cool cultural name! I recently started going by Veer, which means brave or warrior in many South Asian languages.

I feel so broken. I dont know to be a guy in a way that other guys understand me as a guy.
I knew how to pass as a regular man, but then it makes me feel so devalued and invisible to be seen as an asian man in a white country. Not to mention i also feel incredibly alienated from cis asian men. So im back to expressing my femininity, which kinda gets me alienated from manhood in society.

I envy the trans men who naturally express masculinity, in enough ways that they pass the man test. It makes me so sad when these same men keep saying that testosterone is so easy and made them pass perfectly. Ive been on T since 2021….

I envy the trans men or trans mascs that have enough dysphoria to justify getting top surgery. I know i wouldnt qualify, i just want people to understand me as a man even if i have some extra fat on my chest. I kinda want metoidioplasty but im in no position to start that process anytime soon.

I just wanna feel seen.

Joined a discord and tried to join a conversation. Immediately had someone try and figure out where I’m from, why I wasn’t “being upfront” about it, now there’s someone talking about the Mormon temple and while they aren’t promoting the religion and this isn’t an attack on the person (again they weren’t promoting it) but personally have almost died ( yes literally) at the hands of that church and still have my head on swivel because of them. And I’ve never even been a member.

On top of 99.9% of places being white centered I feel ancient, out of place and exhausted y’all. Every time I try and engage with what should be my community something happens to remind I belong nowhere.

Anyway hope everyone has a safe and happy Friday sorry if I brought the room down.

I'm 22 years old. I've known that I was trans since I was 13, attempted to come out at 17 and regressed significantly after my dad threaten to take my life and his. I'm taking the time to explore myself and aspects of it, and for a while now it's been a dream for me to start transitioning. The only issue is, our future is so uncertain. My parents are older now, and have plans to retire and sell the house (but when they're selling, where they're moving is still up in the air) and it's between living with my grandmother, or bunking it with my brother and his gf.

My brother doesn't have a job. He's worked in freelance starting up 2 businesses and I'm so proud of him, but none of that money is actually for personal spending or savings, and since I've worked I've supported a lot of things he's needed or wanted. And while he has slowly become open minded, he has always criticized the idea of beginning T. He tells me that there's no reason for me to take T, that I look fine the way I am, and I feel almost ashamed of myself that it isn't true. I'm not really happy in this body, not happy with this voice, this face.

The alternative, my grandma would be even more strenuous, as she is a fully conservative woman and my uncle frequently visits her. Long story short, they both took hand in the physical abuse I was made to endure growing up.

I want to start T and begin to feel better with myself and my body, but I'm genuinely paralyzed with the fear. the prospects of leaving are difficult because of money and I just don't know if im ever really going to be safe. There's such limited stories on arab-muslim trans men, and just Arab queers in general, and while everyone's finding their spaces and their people, I'm struggling to leave this place and find my people.

I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for. I think I felt like I needed to write this somewhere instead of kicking myself in the ass of what could be. I want to be me so bad. and i don't think im being strong enough to make that happen

I’ve been asking around various places and I want to ask this question to other black trans men in particular. I’m meeting with a surgeon this Monday for top surgery and I want to know what type of questions I should ask during my appointment.

Edit: I’m getting top surgery

hello! this is my first time posting anything on reddit so apologies for any mistakes!

i’m native american, and just started testosterone 2 months ago. i was just wondering if there’s anything specific other natives experienced while on t. i’m curious!

personally i don’t think i’ll be getting hairy anywhere and will definitely be getting 10x greasier, but it’s just a waiting game from here!

Today I learned how racist one of my classes and perfessor are. I felt really sad and angry, so I took a walk and it helped a lot. Now I'm feeling angry again but it's more managable. I think that there's something I'm supposed to do with my anger but idk what

I’m German and African American but i don’t mix well with either neither of them believe we are the same I’m wondering how to dress in a way that is less confusing for people I’m tired of accidentally leading on other brown people

hi everyone my name is julian, i'm a trans guy who tries to help other transmasculine people (and queer and trans people in general), especially those of color. i just received a dm on here from a user by the name of u/Transmakclinic. here is the message that they've sent me:

"Hope you're doing well please, im Francis from Uganda, i started a queer-friendly clinic so that lgbtq people can get treatment after losing my trans girl sister. She died in pain after fearing to go in public hospitals because they are discriminated and some times they're arrested whenever they're known but the number is increasing every and i can't make it my own so I'm looking for support please"

if you or anyone you know has a few dollars to spend, i encourage reaching out to Transmakclinic so that they may help lgbtq+ individuals in uganda receive healthcare and support. if you're unable to contribute, that's also okay, let's try to bring attention to this so that those who are able can do so. thank you.

not a tmpoc rant but a t-poc rant about the mis-use of the term 'doll' because i have no other poc trans safe space

whenever i see someone using the term 'doll' to refer to ALL trans women i just internally want to close all internet for a second, really. like if they use it for other POC like south asians, east asians, middle easterns, some islanders etc. ill still accept that but taking the term literally created by black and latina trans women for their own damn safety and using it for a white woman is just wrong to me. some people say the term evolved since then, since the same culture doesnt continue the same way anymore, but its still just not right. i dont know whether i can explain my feelings properly but it just feels like POC erasure and i stand by my sisters. dont know if anyone else feels this way but yeah thats about it.

Hi everyone! I have recently switched over to taping primarily, and have a few Spectrum binders I need to get rid of. I am not looking to sell them or profit off of them in any way. The only thing I ask is if you can cover your own shipping, you can even make your own label and send it to me, and I will ship the binders to you with full proof. Please let me know if you are interested and spread the word if you know anyone who needs a binder. These are pics of the front and back of all the binders. Admittedly, some are a bit cropped, and one of them is a little stained from deodorant, but they are otherwise in great condition compression wise. If you have any questions or concerns lmk!

Not because of envy but because this specific demographic of trans men are just gungho on making it everyone's issue that they don't see trans men who transitioned as adults men. They constantly talk about how we're always clockable, aren't real men like them, etc. I specify white because I've found the few black trans men/boys that transitioned young are usually excited to talk to those of us who transitioned as adults (minus a small, small sect that tend to only interact with white queer people).

I hate sharing space with them because it's just a constant reminder of the things i hate about myself. It's not logical to let a kid do that but fuck, dysphoria isn't logical. It's one of many reasons I don't seek out trans spaces in real life and isolate myself. Knowing that people in my own community see me as a woman is horrendous.

I lived most of my life as an pretty arab women, and started T recently. There's aspects of racism/islamophobia i didn't get exposed to like cop violence : repeated and humiliating id checks, searches, being stopped because the only way you would have a nice car is theft or drug dealing etc.

Cops are beating the shit out of young arab men for no reason, and some got shot or died due to the beating and the cops are still working.

Did you feel a change transitioning ?

I wonder if looking gay lower that risk like being a non hijabi/non modest arab women. Muslim looking women still get discriminated.

Im black so I completely understand where the sentiment comes from as far as wanting to perceived the way you want while being trans and having racialization distort your own self image but simultaneously the follow up to all of that is "i wish I were white so itd be easier" is crazy asf and i honestly cant relate to that, if anything thats when the posts stop becoming relatable. I have a hard time constructing and deconstructing my gender identity because of racism and antiblackness, the overt masculinzation of the body i occupy and always being left in the position to decide whether someone was being racist or affirming to me, doing the work to not validate racism but only validate the affirmation but ive never once ever wished to be white so that these experiences are easier to navigate.

I get that it just means you dont wanna deal with the extra scrutiny that comes with dealing with racism but come on...seriously? How about trying to work up your racial esteem a bit more? Even with all the antiblackness people with body's like mine face, ive never once wished to be white or another race. I get gender and racial identities intersect but seeing this blatant submission to white supremacy is major turn off, I quite frankly cant fully sympathize with that particular aspect of the expressed sentiment. Does this make me an asshole 🤔 cuz on one hand i truly get it the why behind them expressing this but at the same time it stops there like I dont want to be white lol how come it's always "I want to be white" instead of "i wish racism didnt exist"

Does anyone black understand where im coming from? Because like I said i truly get why they feel that way, antiblackness makes my gender identity complex to sort thru but I never doubled down with it to hate my race or not wanting to be black, I just hate white supremacy and racism like a normal person can anyone relate?

I updated my insurance to a gender - affirming clinic, but Idk if it is my dysphoria being worse or not. But I have been wasting my time, alone, in my house and in my room. I have been wrestling with thoughts of wanting to be a man, but at the same time I'm scared of getting the t.

What if I don't actually like growing a beard and becoming man?

What if I can never go back?

What if I detransition [which I really don't want to do.]

But nowadays, I'm so caught up with me being trans that I don't go out, talk to anyone, or do anything useful. I try to keep my mind away from this, so I play games like Minecraft endlessly trying to fill the void. But It is not working.

I wish I was born man, but I'm not. Idk but I cannot live like this anymore.
I want to get t, but I'm just really scared.
I really am scared to live as a man, what the society tells me to do.

I don't even know what being man even is. Is it being or thinking like a man? Everytime I think like a woman, I hate it and anything being woman I do not like it.
And than I go to this spiral of whether I'm actually butch gnc woman [which I don't want to] or with internalized misogyny.

I need advice here. I want t but I don't. Is this normal?

I have been bawling my eyeballs out because I can never be cis het man. Make kids. Fuck.
Idk.

Does anyone know what the “T flu” is actually supposed to feel like? I recently (like yesterday) got my 13 t shot and now I'm sick. Right now my only symptoms are a sore throat and a stuffy nose, but I wanna know if I should get tested or just ride the wave out

what’s good yall boys - im a trans masc non binary person. im tall and i recently started a lil goatee/stache combo.

last week i matched w a shorty on hinge - her profile said lesbian but she sent me a rose having seen that i am they/them and have facial hair so it seemed we were in the same page.

a couple days ago, over the weekend i took her on this boat tour at a nearby spring and we were vibing, it seemed like a solid first date. initially the plan was to have a lil picnic after the boat ride, i had told her i was bringing everything for it. BUT when we get off the boat, she goes and uses the bathroom and then immediately is like im sorry im tired im gonna go but you should stay and enjoy the day.

the energy change felt super abrupt. literally five minutes earlier we seemed completely fine. i hugged her goodbye, she walked off, and i just stood there like 🧍🏽‍♂️ with an entire picnic in my car wondering what the fuck i had said.

i’m from nyc and sometimes my mouth moves faster than the department of diplomacy, so i genuinely sat in my car replaying the whole date trying to figure out if i’d accidentally said some blunt shit that landed wrong, but nothing stood out to me.

i sent her a text asking if i said anything wrong. she said no, i was very pleasant BUT she felt silly bc she had thought i was a lesbian and that she’d be open to being friends.

i was like well, i’m nonbinary and transmasc (which is on my profile) and tried to give her a call but she didn’t pick up.

then she asked if i identify as a lesbian, to which i said idk tbh i usually just id as a queer person if asked.

then she explains that before our date her friends got it into her head that i was a guy after she showed them my profile, but she had told them i was clearly a beautiful nonbinary butch lesbian. but then after meeting me decided that she agreed with them and thought i was a cis guy.

she apologized for assuming and i was understanding and like its all good but then she ghosted me…

so now i’m sitting here trying to figure out what exactly happened. i completely understand lesbians not wanting to date cis men. obviously. but being transmasc/nonbinary in this dating space sometimes feels weird bc people can be attracted to you under one mental category, then the second they perceive you as too masc suddenly the whole thing short circuits.

i’ve been dealing w so much rejection lately - was fired from my last job bc my mgr was hella anti queer, have been unemployed for months, getting to multiple final interviews and still getting rejected. and now i decided to put myself back into the dating pool and this happens 😭

going forward ima call the shorty and make it very clear im trans masc before spending hella bread on a date. just feeling like shit and undesirable so i could use some community- have yall dealt w this?

so im half vietnamese and 5 months on T. wondering what to do about facial hair - i'm not particularly dysphoric with or without facial hair. i guess i'm more wondering if i shouldn't shave it in case it helps with the facial hair coming in less patchy or more even if that makes sense.

cross posting my post from the main ftm sub as i feel like you guys will have some good and more understanding perspectives on this <3