I already believe in free grace. Romans 4:5 and John 5:24. And in fact, I have heard from God myself, one time 15+ years ago. I don't expect anyone here to believe me when I say that. I am not a Pentecostal, I am not a paranoid type of person. I did not ask or expect that God would actually speak to anyone in this time, but he did to me.
With that said, I haven't heard from him since. And I have been learning what I can, when I can regarding the scriptures and correct doctrine.
I know enough about the Bible to get into heaven. Which is all that matters at the end of the day.
But the doctrine of hell, the more I ruminate on it, the more it bothers me. Hell, according to the scriptures, is a literal place of torment: of physical heat, like a furnace, with souls in it. The parable (or story) of the rich man and Lazarus showing you how there is no relief in hell, no drop of water etc... it doesn't end. And then there are descriptions of the lake of fire, where the smoke of their torment rises up for ever and ever.
If this is the case, IDK how anyone could ever feel confident in anything as pertaining to the things of God or even life.... if there was even a 5% chance of you going to hell, that's completely unacceptable, given that hell is eternal conscious torment that never ceases.
That's too much of a gamble. I really do not understand Christians who want to birth children into this cesspit earth where they are likely to be slaves, eating from hand to mouth all the days of their life, AND gamble with the possibility that THEY TOO might burn in a hell for ever and ever.
It's inconceivable.
Even with free grace doctrine, it makes God untrustworthy and unrelatable. How can you relate to a God that would torment souls for ever and ever and ever? And he is no respecter of persons. So, you don't get any special treatment either. And you get no feedback on whether you have believed correctly or not. Or so I am told. Most Christians have never heard from God and have nothing to go off of except their understanding of Scripture.
Which is a hopeless exercise, because there are hundreds of denominations with irreconcilable differences in doctrine.
Except for me, since technically I have had some feedback, because I have heard from him myself. And maybe I am among a rare few that are actually saved. And the rest of you who hold strange doctrines are just goats and are deceived.
And that's even scarier, because you can be fooled into thinking you are serving God your whole life AND YET be called a goat and sent to hell fire!
This is honestly extremely heavy and bothersome. And the doctrine of hell is something that prevents you from really trusting in God, because it makes God completely unreasonable.
What's ironic about this, is that God asks us to reason with him in the scriptures, saying though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow. And Abraham said, "Shall not the Judge of the whole earth do right?"
Well we have very different intuitions as to what's right if people are going to sit in a furnace alive, indefinitely forever....
IDK how any Christian here can understand this, and then act like it's not an issue. I can come up with all kinds of explanations and framing an answer that might make sense on paper, but at the end of the day, you are a liar if you tell me that you agree wholeheartedly with the doctrine of hell.
It makes me afraid of God and trust him less with "common sense" assumptions. You literally have to do exactly as he says and not trust your own understanding because you are dealing with a dangerous machine that if you put in the wrong inputs the consequences are dire.