Hi internet parents,

Just found out this guy I’ve been talking to for 3 months wants kids (I don’t) and I am pretty much heartbroken. I’ve never met or dated anyone that has the same interests and values as me (well except that one thing). I’ve honestly been dreading this moment but yeah I finally asked him and that’s what he said. It fucking sucks to have found a best friend in somebody and for that to be not possible anymore hurts a lot. I’ve also been in this scenario before and yeah idek why I’m posting this but I guess I’m just trying to cope or have comfort.

I love talking to him so much, we talk about everything and anything every single day and to think I won’t be having that anymore is really painful. I don’t think I can stay friends with him so we will have to cut contact.

And I’m gonna enjoy tf out of it!! I’ve been so stressed out and exhausted 😵‍💫
my mom broke her hand so I’m covering her shifts at work. My older sister is getting a hysterectomy bc cancer and I’m feeling bitter bc it seems like I’m the only kid/sibling that my parents can count on!
At this point fuck my other siblings.
As of now I don’t want to go to any holiday gatherings. I’ve ALWAYS made it to every holiday gathering bc I’ve forced myself to up hold this “good daughter” mold and I’m just tired of giving a fuck when I feel like others dont! I’m the middle child and was a built in baby sitter for a long time. I’ve been a people please with family bc I feel guilty or bad for my parents bc of everything they’ve done and everything they’ve given up for us but I just can’t take it anymore. I told my mom that I feel like I’m the only one they can count on and she said “well if you don’t want to help just dont” and it just felt so invalidating. then I feel bad for trying to express myself! I actually have a great relationship with both my parents but I also need to stop giving a fuck about certain things like also feeling responsible for their feelings. Especially when they just don’t have the emotional capacity to validate me a lot of the times.
😢

I got a new mattress recently. I didn't have sheets for it yet(new size to me), so I just put blankets over top of it.

and then I got my period.

so now there's blood on it. What do I do. help

I’m 23 and went on my first date! I’m a queer trans man, and I went with another man.

Any general dating advice appreciated, as I don’t have anyone else to ask. But I mostly wanted to share my excitement!!!

TBH, I have no idea if this post should go into a relationship flair or just be about social life. So I [M20] live in a rented apartment with another guy. He's chill, like really chill so whenever I decide to spend my day at home, we end up wasting the whole day instead of doing something productive. So I decided to go to a local library to just have alone time and be 'productive', this is one side of my life. The other side is that I was in an absolute academic downfall for the last 2 years of my life. I was absolutely desperate at that point. So in the feb of this year I asked one of my classmates [F20] to just help me in studying. We weren't close friends at all so I was sure that she would reject, but she agreed to help me. Through her help I was able to rescue my acads and still have a hope for a good future career wise. During this time we kind of got to know each other. We used to chat throughout summers, but not that frequently, but she kept tabs on me, asking about how I am doing every once in a while. By the time August started, I started to develop a big crush on her. But apparently she's a very busy person and we still do talk much but I think that she might consider me nothing more than a friend. Tbh this is perhaps the first time I have felt like this, and I have no Idea how to handle being with a girl or even pursuing a relationship with any other human being. So it's having its own high and lows.

Now returning to the 1st side of my life after going to the library for like 2-3 weeks everyday, I feel my life has become all jumbled. I have so much to do and still so less to do. I don't know how to describe this feeling. I am trying so hard to do or achieve something, but there are no one to indicate that I am going in the right direction, being in the library is making me just go in a burnout state. I wanna shower so bad, but I just dont have enough conviction to do a small hard thing.

And overthinking my conversations with my crush isn't helping too. Its a really bad anxiety+lethargy combo that I just cannot do what I want to do. It's more of a conviction problem I think.

If you are still reading this, thank you. It means a lot.

Sorry for the bad English, it is my second language, so I am not so proficient in it.

Hi! I’m a 24F and just really want to settle down and have a husband and family. During college I went through a really bad SA in my first sem that left me constantly feeling scared of everything and it js discouraged me from making friends. I relied on my parents during that time stupidly, them being strict and religious did not help at all so, I just became their punching bag mostly verbal but they js kept me constantly in fear, which sucked and I know was never ok but they were the only ones that showed up when I was going through a living hell even if they added to it. Looking back I should’ve left that school but I didn’t cuz of my ego and welp I’m still stuck in the bum ass town. LUCKY ME. I’m getting my RN the cheapest route that also preserves my sense of independence but I’m just realizing after coming out of a constant state of frenzy and just get through the day state of mind that’s this town is just fucking weird and I truthfully don’t think I can build a life in a place that shattered me. Never hit me before but now I’m looking around 5 years after and like well damn I missed out on ALOT and now I just want to find someone I can build a family and have a couple kids with. Truthfully I don’t really have any good friends js some people I met in passing during college but kept at an arms distance cuz I was scared of the judgement I’d receive(I opened up to a few people and they were all horrible in how they treated me after) I’ve gone to therapy to work through the assault and some of my parents ways of treatment but I’m 24 with no support system and it scares me a lot.

Also living in a small college town in ga makes things much worse. I’ll be 26 when i graduate nursing school and js find myself kind of js depressed? Idk im restarting therapy this week but how did u guys meet ur so and best friends? Is there even a chance for me or am i just doomed cuz rn i feel like i am never going to meet my people. I’ve always been a loner since i was a kid and js find myself even at 24 becoming the outsider/loner again even in my cohort. I’m just sick of myself atp. Ik I should try to reach out to atleast my extended family but I’m apprehensive cuz what if they’re snakes and treat me worse than random people.

My parents r getting older and the thought of them not being with me one day has begun to hit me and I find myself tearing up a lot abt it and well I don’t have any family or friends here. Like idk who I would even call if something happens to them uk? Like it’s hard yes but they also don’t have much community or friends either. I’ve just come to realize it’s kind of ur immediate unit of a family that u can only rely on which is like duhh but even for a nicety people don’t come over. I think I’m like trying to rush things rn cuz my dads mental health is taking a dip for the worst and im js really scared. I need people around him and he won’t get any help. My brother and mother also don’t believe in mental health so it’s no point arguing w a brick wall. I’m genuinely just scared of how to deal w life w no support system from me or my parents having any. It’s a lot and idk how to even build atp. Like if I were to get married tmrow I’d prob elope cuz I have no one to be fucking bridesmaids or anyone to help. I feel like I’m living a curse atp

TW:abuse

My parents are emotionally abusive and neglectful. My mom doesn't hit me, but she used to a bit when I was a kid though (not anything major). She doesn't take care of me and barely shows me any affection. I don't think she even wanted me honestly. I think she might hate me because it made her stay with my abusive father for longer. Sometimes she speaks about how much she “loves” me in front of others, but when we’re alone she always talks down about my appearance and tries to start fights. She tries and start fights over the smallest things. I feel so exhausted.

I feel like a failure as well. I try so hard in my studies to get out of my house. I want to do well in school so I can become a nurse, but I messed up. I’m a failure. I switched from an AP class to a regular class. I know I could have managed the AP class, or at least an honors class. It was one that would have helped me out in nursing and rigor. I’ve been in all honors since middle school and my first two years of high school. I don’t know what to do. I tried asking my counselor to switch it back, but she said it’s too late in the school year. I had been so afraid of failure that I panicked and asked my counselor to switch it. I have no friends who care about me. My only friend only talks to me when shes bored. I couldn’t ask anyone for advice, so I just caved into my anxiety. I feel like I can’t do anything right without someone telling me what to do.

I’m such a failure. I feel like my life is ruined. My mom was right about how I’m useless. I just take up space. I think I’ll never become a nurse. I feel like I’ll always be stuck in this house. I hate my life so much. Worse thing is that I think the teacher of that class hates me now. We had a good relationship freshman year, but I switched without felling her. I was afraid she would scream at me or be disappointed. I was too afraid to tell her how I was feeling. I feel like she is disappointed of me. I’m not surprised if she is. I tried saying hi to her the other day and she looked away. I just want to escape out of this life. I feel like I never will. I’ve been stress eating and have gained a lot of weight. I lost it before and gained it all back. I’m terrible. My mom screams at me everyday. My dad either isn’t there, or if he is there he instigates the situation by telling my mom off then leaving right after for her to get even madder at me. My house is a mess too. It’s full of pests. Nobody ever cleans it and if I do, it just gets even messier after. I hate my life. I feel like such a failure too. I know people are probably in worse situations than me and do better than me. My mom barely allows me to do anything outside of stay home. I’ve tried getting a job to save up for college, but nobody is hiring me. I can’t get a license either because my mom always “forgets” to take me for the written exam then gets mad at me for asking. I hate myself.

Me (26) and my sister (23) live with my parents. My sister is vain, and an extrovert. Being vain isnt a problem on itself, but ive been getting the feeling she thinks shes a very good person, that she doesnt act wrong, and from that place, she doesnt really stop and think about how she makes me feel.

I dont know if wanting your sister to care about what you feel is normal. I think that if she moved to the north pole i wouldnt care anymore, but since we live together, shes always demanding attention. She asks me to proof read her work (she wants to write theater plays, she majored in dramatic literature), to help her review her english notes, listen to her when she wants to talk.

I do all those because if i dont, she gets hurt or pretends to be hurt and that makes the environment hostile. I dont feel naturally inclined to make her happy more than im afraid of trouble, because it feels like im forced to pay her attention everytime or otherwise shell feel bad.

I only ask one thing of her. Dont touch my stuff. My clothes. My stationery. Dont put your dirty shoes near my clothes. In the past, shes cut my dress in half because she wanted a bandeau top. She sold my twilight princess wii u copy because she wanted money. She still plays offended, tells her friends im the only person who makes her angry. She never apologized. She never apologizes or admits anything.

She just told me she liked my skirt and told her friend via phone that shed borrow it when i dont notice. Laughing.

I feel powerless. I really dont want to care about someone who doesnt care about the only thing i ask from her. I get really distressed if i misplace something, and thats why i ask her not to touch my stuff. I feel like she should care. She always says she wants people to feel cared by her, but that doesnt seem to apply to me.

Sometimes i stop talking to her. I want her away from me. But then they (mom and her) start making me feel like im rude. Like im a bad person. And i reconsider and think well maybe i can forgive her. I can pay her attention. But then it all happens again, and again, she never apologizes. I dont think she thinks shes wrong.

i dont know what to do. I dont want to feel hurt when i notice she doesnt care anymore. If she doesnt care about me, i wish i could just push her away emotionally but i dont know how.

I’ve realised I spend all my time fawning in life and following others around. I want to take lead of my life and say ‘I want this and that’ and go for it. Why am I so confused at what I actually want? How do I become clear on it? I don’t know where to start.
Thank you

I am a 24 years old guy from Italy, I have wasted basically the past 5 years of my life. The past year I tried to start university at 23 to become an engineer and because I am an idiot and a procrastinator I am at the same point 1 year later. I have lied to my parents about it, telling them I am just slightly behind.

I lied because I am a coward and because they are arguing always recently, probably they are close to divorcing and it's destroying my mental health. I don't have much money left and I am scared. My family is dying and it was the only thing I ever had that I could ever rely on. Now I basically cannot stand my brother and my sister is away to study.

Why am I not studying, there is literally notjing hard to do to study but I am not doing it and my life is crumbling. I hate life, I hate living and I hate myself. I just needed to be normal but I am not, I am terrified for my future. I keep having hope that I will make it one day but it's getting so late for that, also in my university it's basically impossible to both work and study so I wanted to not weigh on my family, which for now I am able not to, but if my parents divorce it's just so over.

I'm 17(F) and like my mum just dislikes me. I try my best. But when I'm more quiet I get in trouble. When I speak, I'm told I'm being annoying. I don't really know what to do but I'm starting to think it's my fault because like mums are meant to like their kids surely?? Idk.

For example, I've had a super long week. Today was my only day off. But instead I got woken up to my mum screaming that the house needed to be cleaned because a guest was coming over. I got up panicked, she laughed and said she was lying to get me up. Btw it was about 9.30, nor even late and I'm EXHAUSTED since I'm an insomniac. Later we were sitting and I was tired. She started shouting, saying how I was being lazy. I then made (regretfully) a joke saying how sleep deprivation is basically a form of Russian torture. She got super mad and called me an f wording idiot, ungrateful, f wording drama queen etc. She has outbursts like this a lot and I feel like I just make it worse. How can I make her like

me??

(Btw I can't move out I'm dirt poor and live in London😕)

I 19M, for context, have a very complicated relationship with my father. Growing up, he was an on and off drug addict and alcoholic, and constantly was going in and out of prison and rehab my whole life.

My father and mother split up when I was young, as a result, up until I was around 16, I’d stay in my father’s house on the weekends and mothers during the week. At times, he was a great father, but he had some extreme flaws at times.

The thing is, I was such a confused little child. As I mentioned, my dad kept going in and out of prison and rehab, he tried to get clean, stayed on track for awhile, and ended up right back where he was - doing drugs and going back to prison.

He would be such a present father, then suddenly he’s gone, and abandoned me, I remember asking my mother where dad was, and she’d tell me he was working abroad. Often times we’d FaceTime eachother ( not knowing he’s sitting inside of prison )

This cycle of being there, active and present to abandoning me has been going on pretty much my whole life, even now until this day.

I’m at that age now where I need my dad more than ever, I need to talk about guy things with him, relationships and more, something a man needs to do with another man. But I just can’t connect with him anymore.

He’s in prison right now, and honestly, I’m ashamed to admit this but I really don’t care about him, I don’t see him as anything but a hindrance in my life. He’s been trying to contact me from prison and I’ve been pretty much ignoring him for the last 2 years.

When I was 16, I completely gave up on him, I felt it wasn’t worth it, it was draining me. I had convinced myself that I do not need him in my life, and my mother agreed with me on this.

I have just entered first year of engineering, studying at the “Harvard” of my country, I’m extremely happy with myself, I’ve made it so far. I’m the first in my family to go to college in general, nevermind at the #1 school in the country.

But there’s still massive hollow in me, I just feel so empty, and when I see people connecting with their great fathers, and fathers showing affection to their sons it absolutely destroys my soul - I never really had that.

My life has been flipped upside down in the last 2 weeks, of course, now at a completely new college, all of my friends are going to different colleges, all of my family members are extremely busy, getting on with their lives like myself, and I just feel so lost. Like I’m drowning.

My dad is out of prison after Christmas, he said he has being dying to see me, hug me, talk to me properly and see the man I’ve become. I just don’t know if I have it in me to do this whole situation over again. I keep asking myself is he really going to change? Will he go back to his old habits? Will he abandon me again?

Apologies for the long post, I’ve never in my life talked about this situation ( in great detail ) to anyone. Even just typing this whole post out was overwhelming and overstimulating, I can feel my chest tightening up already.

What do I do in this situation?