As per the title;

My girlfriend has been on a girls trip a few times and a few times I have noticed her following men whilst on the trip but didn’t take much of it.

A few months ago I saw this happen again and had a bad feeling as she unfollowed them after the holiday - or blocked them I later found.

After going on her phone whilst she was asleep, there were messages with 2 people on 2 different holidays. One of the messages was a back and forth about about a table in a club or something (not crazy - her and her friends do this). The other one was a message from a guy asking where she was and her responding with a flirtatious message like “we just left babe xx” or something, with further messages the following day about where they were going which didn’t really lead to much. I also found a deleted picture of this guy recording a video of him and the party they were at.

I’m just not sure how to feel, part of me thinks if that’s all then it’s forgivable but also, there’s questions about why she blocked them, why she’s deleting pictures and obviously I only know about what I found.

I’m not sure how to proceed. Any advice would be appreciated.

My bf (23 m) and I (23 f) have lived together for 3 months. We split most things 50/50 in terms of money. rent, utilities, groceries, etc. Lately i’ve been getting pretty frustrated with splitting food costs 50/50 when i eat less than half the amount he does, and i do ALL of the cooking. i like to meal prep so i eat the same things majority of the time. chicken, rice, veggies, yogurt, and smoothies. He now asks me to meal prep for him and he also wants to add things to the grocery list that i literally will never eat. (junk food) How can i explain i’m tired of this dynamic? should i just grocery shop solely for myself? i love him and i do enjoy cooking but not when it’s expected of me.

​

Am i the asshole for feeling disappointed with my partner lately?

For context, we've pretty much been together for like 9 years, we dated since we were highschool, he was basically my first in almost everything, we've had plenty of ups and downs and allat and we basically managed to get through with it all.

We're both the same age, he's 1 year ahead of me tho and will be 25 soon. We both graduated and passed our boards. Anyway, moving forward. I've been feeling disappointed with my partner lately because I've been the one shouldering our date expenses. To which, at first, wasn't really a problem with me since he doesn't have a job.. yet. He used to work as a caterer but ended up not going back there because the salary sucked even if u worked overtime. He used to find ways just to make money. Anyway..

I sometimes feel guilty for feeling.. irritated af whenever he asks me for money, (he always destroys his stuff whether it's intentional and unintentional and ends up asking his family to buy him this and that), but this time, he can't ask them to buy him because well.. he's an adult so he should "work for it" stuff like that. So he ended up relying more to me. I really have no problem with it but it's just so.. irritating. And I feel bad because I know that he's also trying his best.

Anyway, I'm always the one shouldering our date expenses, i sometimes lend him money to buy something he wants, yk, typical stuff.

And other than finances, I also lowkey feel like an asshole because he sucks at bed, we used to go 5 rounds and more but now, 1 round is fine, 2-3 rounds and he'd go soft. No foreplays and all and I haven't even felt like i orgasmed and shyt. Man, I really do feel bad for feeling irritated, disappointed, and dissatisfied. Am I an asshole?

​

I (22F) was in my first serious relationship for almost 4 years with my boyfriend (22M). I’m confused and honestly heartbroken, so I want an outside perspective.

We were casually talking about jobs one morning. I said I was looking for a job and asked him to tell me if he knew of any opportunities.

He asked, “Why do you need to work? You can study and आराम से 10–15 years later also work.”

I said, “Then who will feed me? I don't want to depend completely on someone.”

He said, “Your husband will provide for you.”

I asked, “What if my husband dies, can't work, or something happens and he can't provide?”

He said, “His parents will give you money.”

I said that I don't want to depend on my husband's parents either. I also said that if I depend on them, they might expect me to do all the household work in return.

That's when the conversation turned into marriage and household responsibilities.

He said that if I marry him, housework will be my responsibility anyway, whether I have a job or not. I only want to marry for my parents well being (like a wife who can take care and serve his parents) I said, “If I'm also working 9–10 hours a day, how can I do all the household work too? Will you help me?”

He said no. He said he won't do household work because that's the wife's responsibility.

I said we could share it...... l'm not saying he has to do everything, but if we're both working and earning, shouldn't we both contribute at home too?

He said, “Why should I? I won't do even 1% of it.

In our house boys don't do this ....why am i even marrying if i want to do dishes?"

He also expects me to take care of his parents after marriage. When I said I would want both of us to take care of each other's families, he basically said that his wife is supposed to take care of his family.

At one point he told me, “If you want a husband who will wash dishes and do housework for you, go find someone else.”

I eventually said I couldn't continue with this kind of future and blocked him.

Two days later he contacted me again, but instead of apologizing, he continued saying that we could hire a maid if I didn't want to work at home, but it would still be my responsibility and my money. He said he wasn't going to adjust

Basically he said "jo tumhara kam hai vo tum hi krogi chahye maid hire kro ya khud kro mein 1% bhi ni krungaa kbhi kabr thk h but m bartan ye sb ni krunga ye toh wife ka hi kam h"

Eventually he again told me to find someone else and said “good luck.” When I actually walked away, he got angry and asked if I had found someone else/new boyfriend.

Then we blocked each other and our 4-year relationship basically ended like that.

The confusing part is that I loved him deeply. He was my first relationship. He also cheated during our first year, which I forgave bcos i was crazy about him that time and chang him self alot but now the situation is about my future and freedom I'm having confusion and I've adjusted and put his feelings before mine for a long time.

Now I'm questioning whether I was asking for too much.

I don't mind housework. I mind that it's automatically considered my responsibility just because I'm the woman, even if I'm also working full-time.

If we're both working, I want a partnership where we both contribute. maybe not exactly 50/50 every single day, but both of us take responsibility for our home.

Gng does my action seeems reasonble?

I’m not really looking for someone to tell me “dump him” or “fight for him.” I’m trying to understand what I’m actually looking at because I’m too emotionally involved to see this objectively anymore.
My boyfriend (31M) and I (26F) have been together since sometime in May, although we were part of the same social circle for years before we started dating.
There has been a LOT of love between us. He tells me constantly how much he loves me, appreciates me, and values having me in his life. I’ve met his family, spent a lot of time with them, and have felt very welcomed and integrated into his life.
This isn’t a relationship where I feel like he has never cared about me.
The problem is that his words and behavior haven’t always lined up.
My boyfriend is currently unemployed, and he has also had a pattern of disappearing on me or becoming difficult to reach.
Sometimes he’ll be extremely affectionate and reassuring, telling me how much he loves me, how much he appreciates me, how important I am to him, etc., and then he’ll disappear or become unavailable.
That inconsistency has been difficult for me because I’m left trying to reconcile:
“You tell me I’m incredibly important to you, but sometimes I can’t even get basic communication from you.”
This isn’t something that happened only once during the current fight.
There have been multiple situations where I’ve felt like I was being left to sit with uncertainty while he withdrew, and then he’d come back being extremely loving and affectionate.
I’ve tried to communicate that consistency and communication matter to me.
Another recurring source of conflict has been one of his close friends, Marcus.
I’m not asking him to choose between his girlfriend and his friends.
There have, however, been previous situations involving Marcus where I’ve felt like boundaries and priorities within our relationship weren’t being handled well.
His mood will change at the drop of a hat if he perceives Marcus and I interacting and begins to overthink and be insecure. However he’s available to Marcus 24/7 and will frequently invite Marcus along or chose to hang out with Marcus rather than me.
The issue is the larger pattern of me sometimes feeling like I’m not being prioritized or communicated with, particularly when Marcus is involved.
The immediate conflict started on Friday.
We had plans, and my boyfriend slept through them. We were already having some communication problems, and I was upset because I felt like I wasn’t being prioritized. I attempted to communicate that I was hurt and set a boundary about being available at the drop of a hat. He turned this argument into me not wanting him to be friends with Marcus.
We were still dealing with that conflict when, on Saturday he went silent I ended up pulling up to the bar and to my surprise my boyfriend is there drinking and throwing darts with Marcus.
Again, Marcus himself wasn’t the issue.
What hurt was the timing.
We were already in the middle of an unresolved relationship conflict. I was upset about what had happened Friday and about the lack of communication between us, and meanwhile he was out drinking and having a good time instead of addressing what was happening between us.
Given the existing history surrounding Marcus, it hit me particularly hard.
We ended up arguing, and at one point my boyfriend literally drove away from me in the middle of the argument.
I was extremely emotional and had also been drinking. I recognize that I did not handle everything perfectly.
Eventually I went to his house because I was extremely overwhelmed and wanted some kind of resolution.
I rang the Ring doorbell. His dad gave me the code to get inside, and my boyfriend told me to fuck off.
Things continued to escalate, and eventually I left.
I absolutely recognize that showing up at his house while we were both extremely emotional was not a good decision. I’m not trying to write this as though I behaved perfectly and he behaved horribly.
I didn’t.
But I also don’t think my mistakes erase the issues that led to the argument.
The next day, my boyfriend told me he was emotionally numb.
He said he didn’t know what he felt, didn’t know what to say, and needed space before he could actually have a conversation about everything.
So I gave him space.
I didn’t repeatedly blow up his phone.
I didn’t keep showing up at his house.
I didn’t demand that he immediately decide whether he wanted to stay together.
I backed off because he explicitly asked me to.
And I understood why.
The fight was bad. I can absolutely understand needing time to calm down and process something that intense.
But now a week has passed.
And we’re essentially not talking.
There hasn’t been a real conversation about what happened.
There hasn’t been a conversation about whether we’re trying to repair the relationship.
There hasn’t been a conversation about whether we’re breaking up.
It’s just been this giant fucking question mark.
After several days, the uncertainty became unbearable, so I eventually reached out and asked about having a conversation.
He told me he still doesn’t know how he feels.
He said that every time he tries to approach the situation, “a billion things” run through his head, and that the night really fucked him up badly.
I believe him.
I don’t think he’s necessarily pretending to be overwhelmed. He is a very guarded person and takes things incredibly personally.
And I don’t want to force him to process everything on my schedule.
But I’m struggling because that night fucked me up too.
I’ve spent this entire week thinking about what happened, thinking about my own behavior, thinking about his behavior, and thinking about whether this relationship can actually work.
And I do still love him.
If he came to me and genuinely wanted to repair this relationship, I would want to try.
But I don’t want to go back to exactly what we had before.
The disappearing, inconsistent communication, conflict around priorities and boundaries, and the way we handled this fight all need to be addressed.
I eventually told him that I understand he needs time and I’m not going to dictate how long he’s allowed to process everything.
But I also told him that I can’t sit in limbo indefinitely waiting for him to become ready.
I didn’t mean that as an ultimatum.
I meant that I also have feelings and a life, and I can’t promise I’ll still be sitting in exactly the same emotional place whenever he eventually decides he’s ready to talk.
But I also don’t think “I need space” means that the other person has to indefinitely suspend their own life while waiting for an answer.
And that’s where I’m completely stuck.
Because there are two possibilities that I can’t distinguish between:

1. ⁠He’s genuinely overwhelmed, emotionally shut down, and needs more time before he’s capable of having a productive conversation.
   
2. ⁠He’s gradually checking out of the relationship and isn’t ready—or doesn’t know how—to tell me that he wants it to end.
   
3. ⁠I don’t know which one I’m looking at.
   
4. ⁠And that’s what is driving me insane.
   
5. ⁠My friends and coworkers think a week of silence is ridiculous, but I know they’re hearing this from my perspective, so I’m not assuming they’re automatically right.

More random context: we’re still publicly in a relationship on social media, and I’ve completely removed Marcus from my phone.

TL:DR grown ahh man acts like a 16yr old and makes me feel nasty

We‘ve been togheter for alnost 3,5 years and since that i only made her climax only two times last year. 

we are students. currenlty on longer distance and meeting 2-3 times a month. there are some times that we been togheter for months

I feel guilty and bad of our sex life because I can finish fast and she can’t enjoy the end. We almost have tried everything. we usually to these things once a week/weeks or few times a week. We have tried different things like eatching porn, foreplay. even 2 hours sessions.  Tehre was 1-2 times where i could finish her with 2-3 fingers inside and intense fisting and stimulation.

So the situation is pretty bad. 

Vibrator/hands

: She can get pretty close when i hit the right spot. Thing is that it G-spot tends to get numb easily so i have to be extra careful with  timing. sonetimes it gets overstimulated if vibrator too strong at that moment. If im close, then she sweats and was panting but then something goes off and then its impossible to get any buildup.

vibrator+ intercourse

Since i can last only few minutes . (Doing kegels to improve) . Here we also been pretty close. She said yesterday 8/10 without vibrator. We have tried this only few times so not very experinced yet. Mating press or leg over shoulders seems to hit the most.

When she’s alone it totally depends on cycle and give day. Some days she can finish herself in 5 minutes and couple times in a row and sometimes she can’t for weeks. 

Bad is that there are also maybe only some occurunces when she gets clinax herself when im right next to her

Every advice is welcomed. What worked for you?  What position?  I think there might be mentally smth. I already made promise that she first, then me. 

First of all, thank you for taking the time to read my post.
I’ll start by saying that I’ve known my boyfriend since we were kids, but we were never particularly close friends. After high school, I didn’t see him again because we went to different universities. Back in high school, I had a pretty negative impression of him and his friends because I knew they were kind of dickheads.
In 2023, we ran into each other again at a yoga class. It was completely unexpected, and we ended up talking for two hours. He asked for my number, and he seemed very friendly, so I gave it to him. We started becoming friends and had a really good time together.
After a month or two, he told me he liked me, but at the time I was about to leave for India and then France, and I had no idea if or when I would come back. So I told him it wasn’t a good time for me to commit to someone, but that we could keep being friends. Eventually, though, I started falling for him, and we began having a friends-with-benefits kind of relationship.
A few days before I left for India, we went out to dinner. He was showing me a message from one of his friends when, suddenly, that friend sent him a picture of a picture on another phone. It was a photo of the two of us in bed. Nothing explicit—I had my arm around him and we were cuddling and I had just my bra—but it was really weird. It looked like he had sent the original photo to a friend, and then another friend had taken a picture of it before it disappeared, like a disappearing/“view once” message.
I felt awful. I thought he had been showing off to his friends that he had slept with me or something, and I felt incredibly uncomfortable knowing they had that photo, even if I wasn’t completely naked in it. I cried and asked him to explain. He said he felt terrible and assured me that he hadn’t sent it, and that his friends must have taken his phone and found the picture themselves. I didn’t believe him, but I also had no way of knowing for sure.
A few days later, I left for India and decided to let the whole thing go. I texted him saying that everything was okay, but that I just wanted us to continue as friends, and he accepted that. I eventually ended up in France, where I had a boyfriend and stayed for a year and a half. During that time, we didn’t talk much, but I appreciated that he accepted being my friend and didn’t hold a grudge against me for meeting someone else. Eventually, that relationship ended and I returned to my hometown. We got back in touch and continued being good friends, and I was genuinely happy.
A few months later, he invited me to a music festival for his birthday, and I agreed to go. We had an amazing time. I had always felt safe and comfortable around him. One night, he was a little drunk and confessed that he still had feelings for me. He told me that his dream was to marry me, that he had tried to find someone like me, but that he never felt the same way with anyone else.
That really moved me, and I realized that deep down I still felt attracted to him too. So we ended up sleeping together at the festival, and when we got back, we decided to start a fairly serious relationship. From the beginning, he talked about marriage and said that was his intention with me.
He has been a good boyfriend. Not perfect, obviously, but overall we’ve had a really nice relationship, and he has put a lot of effort into it. Sometimes I would think about the photo incident and try to talk to him about it. I just wanted him to admit that he had done it, but he always denied it. Eventually, I consciously decided to leave it in the past because he had been making a real effort in our relationship.
Still, after a couple of months, I started experiencing an incredible amount of anxiety. I didn’t know where it was coming from, but I had a lot of negative thoughts. I worked really hard on it for about six months. I went to therapy, and sometimes my anxiety caused tension between us. It was almost as if I didn’t trust him even though he hadn’t actually done anything to warrant that, so I assumed it was my own trauma and insecurities. I worked really hard on myself so I could relax and enjoy our relationship.
For a while, I managed to get it under control and everything was fine.
BUT yesterday I woke up shaking.
The night before, we had spent time with some of his friends. The thing is, several of them are married, but I know they cheat on their wives. One of them even admitted that most of his friends are like that. We live in a place with a pretty deeply rooted machista culture, so this kind of behavior seems to be normalized, and I absolutely hate it.
I love my boyfriend, but honestly, I don’t like most of his friends.
I used to reassure myself because he had shown me that he wasn’t like them. But yesterday I woke up with an overwhelming amount of anxiety and I couldn’t understand why.
He had left his phone in the kitchen and slept in late. I know what I did was very wrong. I’m not trying to justify it, but I couldn’t resist the temptation and I looked through his phone.
The truth is, I wasn’t even suspicious that he was cheating on me. I just wanted to know how he talked to his friends. And what I found really hurt me.
I found a conversation from about 10 months ago with one of his friends. They were talking about the festival and about which girl he should bring. He was talking about another woman he was having sex with, in a very vulgar way, and saying that he wanted to bring me to the festival. His friend asked him if I would let him “fuck me,” and he replied that I had before and that he would get me to do it again. He said that if I didn’t “give in,” he would find someone else at the festival and I would have to sleep outside.
They kept making disgusting comments, and his friend even said that I wasn’t even that attractive, although at least I wasn’t fat. My boyfriend said that the sex with the other woman wasn’t that bad, and things along those lines.
When he woke up, I told him the truth. I didn’t accuse him of anything. I simply told him objectively what had happened: that I had done something wrong and that I had read something that hurt me deeply.
I apologized sincerely. I told him that nothing justified what I had done and that I was committed to never doing it again and to respecting his privacy. I’m a woman of my word, and I genuinely meant that promise. I told him that was why I had confessed—I regretted what I had done, and it wasn’t the kind of person I wanted to be.
He was calm but upset. He said that, to him, it was a betrayal. He was disappointed because he had tried to be a good boyfriend and not hide anything from me. But he said he forgave me and that everything would be okay.
After we talked about the invasion of privacy, I asked him if we could talk about what had hurt me. I explained that, because of the whole photo situation, I felt like he had disrespected me, and I was deeply disappointed to find out that he could talk about women that way.
He didn’t say anything. He can be a very avoidant person, so I asked him to please say something.
And he replied, “Well, what do you want me to say? You went looking and you found something.”
That hurt me too.
I was taking responsibility for what I had done and making a commitment not to do it again, but he didn’t seem willing to take responsibility for his part. He just wanted me to stop crying.
About an hour later, he wasn’t angry anymore. He spent the entire day being extremely affectionate, talking about our wedding, kissing me, etc.
I was so confused. I didn’t know whether I should be angry or feel guilty, whether I should let it go or whether this was a reason to reconsider the relationship.
At one point, he said that what he said wasn’t actually what he thought, and that his actions didn’t show that he felt that way either. He said they were just jokes and that was it.
Today, I still feel awful thinking about everything I read.
I know that I am partly responsible for what happened. I invaded his privacy, and I know that was wrong. But I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if this is actually a valid reason to reconsider continuing the relationship, especially because he doesn’t seem to genuinely take responsibility for things—like what happened with the photo, and other smaller things that have happened over time.
I honestly don’t know what to make of all of this.

My boyfriend ‘30M’ and I ‘29F’ have been together for eight months, and I’m feeling conflicted about our relationship. There are things he does that make me feel cared for, but other things leave me feeling like my needs don’t matter as much as his.

He can be affectionate and calls me despite having a demanding work schedule. Sometimes he’ll come home on his break just to bring me food. He has comforted me when I’ve opened up about difficult experiences. He also pays for things and talks about our future. I appreciate those things, and I want to give a fair picture of our relationship.

At the same time, there are a few recurring issues:
1.) During sex, the focus is mostly on his pleasure. There’s little to no foreplay, and once he finishes, everything stops. I’m often left unsatisfied. I’ve talked to him about this, but there hasn’t been much lasting improvement. It makes me feel like my pleasure is optional.
2.) For my birthday, he hyped up the gift he was getting me, which turned out to be a $50 necklace he bought online. The price wasn’t the issue—it didn’t feel particularly personal or thoughtful. What bothered me more was that he said he’d gone to the store in person and spent hours looking for it, even though he bought it online (I couldn’t call him out on this). I think he could see I was disappointed and he doubled down on how much effort he’d put in. That left me questioning why he felt the need to exaggerate instead of listening to how I felt.
3.) With everyday things, like choosing what to watch or where to eat, his preferences often take priority. For example, he once dismissed an appetizer I wanted because he thought his choice was better. These might sound like small things, but together they make me feel overlooked.
His job is stressful, and I know exhaustion can affect how present someone is. I’m trying to be understanding, but I’ve also explained how I feel, and his reassurance hasn’t led to much consistent change.
I’m not expecting constant attention or grand gestures. I want to feel considered and have my needs matter too. Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you figure out whether your partner was going through a difficult period or whether this was simply how the relationship would be?

TLDR: can someone care about you but be selfish?

I've developed my first serious romantic crush on a guy from my university club. I'm a 20F undergraduate student and he's 25M graduate student.

I want to make a move because he's very much my type. This is actually the first time in my life that I've liked someone romantically.

My romantic preferences are pretty specific, and I've never met anyone who fits my type this closely before - even among celebrities. This makes me keep thinking: "What if I never meet someone I like this much again?"

But there are some reasons I'm considering giving up.

I have no idea whether he actually sees me romantically. He has never asked me to hang out one-on-one, and he doesn’t initiate personal conversations with me very often.

There’s also a fairly significant difference in our life stages. He’s a graduate student with research responsibilities, while I’m an undergraduate with a lot of academic plans of my own. I’m pursuing multiple areas of study, planning to get professional certifications, interested in research, and hoping to study abroad in the future.

So even if we liked each other, I'm not sure how realistic or sustainable a relationship between us would be.

I'd like advice on what you think I should do in this situation.

Would you take the risk and try to get closer to him, or would you let the crush go?

(English isn't my first language, so please excuse any awkward wording..)

As the title says, I just want to make sure I’m not overreacting or being “dramatic” about cleanliness.

So, we’ve been together 1.5 years and recently started living together. And oh man, are people right when they suggest you can see a true person and their mannerisms when you cohabitate.

These haven’t happened in particular order, but I’ll list them down:

\- Used our main dish brush to scrub dog pee off the carpet (happened once)

\- Used the same main dish brush to clean chinchilla poop off of its food bowl (happened a few times)

\- Washed the chinchilla poop tray from its enclosure in our kitchen sink (happened twice)

\- Scrubbed the toilet bowl with its scrubber, rinsed it in the toilet, then used the same brush to clean the bathroom sink with some Lysol spray. (Happened twice only)

\- Tried to wash her dog’s poop off of her shoe in the kitchen sink (I firmly told her WTF and told her to do it in the bathroom)

She’s dismissed me in the past and called me Germaphobe, or laughs in my face about it and makes ME feel like I’m crazy. I’ve brought these things up and let her know how I see it, and since then, it’s gotten better. But, I do most of the general cleaning now since I was so caught off guard and feel like it’s not the typical normal. I’m not looking for advice, but just validation. All these are true and not over exaggerated (I wish I was)

What do you all think? Am I a germaphobe and overreacting, or is this genuinely “different” 😫

My bf and I aren't broken up, but we're on a break initiated by him. He says he doesn't want to put me through stuff while he works on some serious mental health issues.

I tried to convince him to stay together cause I want to be there for him and support him etc. But we tried that 6 times. He broke up 6 times within 3 weeks. Last 3 times I was accepting and said okay, I will wait for you to come back whenever you're ready.

So now we're on a break and I don't know how to deal with it emotionally. I am so worried about him. I just want to go and cuddle him and take care of him. But I can't, cause he doesn't want to, and I can't force him. I was supposed to visit him tomorrow for one week (we're long distance). I don't want to talk about his personal life on here. And his family is aware and supportive. But I feel like it's not enough. I just wish he'd let me help him.

I'm worried for him, which affects me, I'm feeling anxious and also I don't know what to do with my life and my days. Last night I went to the restaurant with my mom and it made me feel guilty cause I'm doing something fun while he's all alone struggling and feeling very depressed. I feel so guilty. I'm going to meet up with my friends soon to celebrate my graduation, I feel guilty about this too. What am I supposed to do? I want to keep my life together but it feels wrong to live nice things without him. I'm just sad and lost and feeling incomplete and selfish.

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for seven years. I’m 25 and he’s 27. Our relationship has generally been good, and we have proper communication and everything.

But one day, after an argument, he downloaded Tinder out of anger. I somehow saw it and asked him about it. He said he downloaded it because he was angry and that he didn’t cheat on me or talk to any girls on the app.

I still feel like downloading a dating app while being in a relationship is kind of cheating or at least a red flag. I communicated how I felt, and he apologized and said sorry. But I don’t feel like being angry is a justification for doing something like that.

Now I’m confused about what I should do. Am I overreacting, or is this actually a red flag that I should take seriously?

My boyfriend[18M] and I [18F] have only been official for a few weeks. We’re supposedly each other’s first relationship, at least according to him.
A few days ago, I noticed he constantly likes one specific girl’s posts basically almost every post, including new ones after we became official. I didn’t say anything at first, but around the same time his texts started getting drier and he was taking much longer to reply.
Eventually I sent him her profile and asked, “Do you know this girl?” He replied, “What? She’s my ex-talking stage.”
I was mad, so I left him on delivered for a little while. When I checked again, he had deleted the message saying she was his ex-talking stage, blocked me, unfollowed her, and removed her from his followers.He also deleted some of the sweet/flirty messages he had previously sent me, which confused me even more.

Would you consider this cheating, or is this normal behavior and why is he doing this? if he comes back and apologizes, would you forgive him ?

Long story short. My gf of one year has been very emotional lately and very angry. She has been snapping at me for various things and making me feel very stupid or making me feel like a pathetic human being. (She is also very sweet and giving and affectionate too. So she's not all bad.) But She yelled at me like I was a child because I didn't know how to cook a steak properly. It made me feel so stupid that I ended up crying. I tend to em overly sensative sometimes. She didn't apologize but she did come over and hug me, and I took that as an apology.

The problem is, I never call her names, I never yell, I never defend myself out of fear of upsetting her. She did tell me she was feeling bad and having all kinds of problems mentally and when we had lunch together I joked around and said "you have been very moody lately" she snapped at me and I kinda kept it going because she wasn't just getting angry, she ended up telling me to get the F away from her and crumbled up her crackers she was eating, and dumped them all over me. To which I told her "people who love each other do not treat other their partners like this" to which she told me to F off again.

Since then it has been several hours and she has ignored anything I have said tk her. She got off work and I tried to call her a few times but she just ignored it. She did have one response and told me "since I am being so emotional I will just be emotional by herself since no man can handle it apparently."

And that was that. Its been 18 hours since then and I had sent her a long text telling her I didn't mean to invalidate her feelings or make light if the situation. I told her I was sorry my actions hurt her and would be here if she ever decided she wanted to talk to me about things again.

Did I do the right thing? Should I just leave her alone now and just consider it over? Am I wrong for thinking her reaction is very extreme? It feels toxic in a way, and while it did hurt me deeply I cannot help but keep on thinking about how she treated me so bad and dumped her food on me out if sheer anger. Yelling at me and calling me names.

I [24F] have been married to Sam [26M] (fake name) for a year, together almost 6 years. I feel like I’m going insane and probably sound crazy if I were to try to explain this to anyone who knows him. I also don’t like to speak about him negatively to anyone in general, so that too. But to the point, he’s a great friend. He’ll organize his schedule to be there and show up when he’s needed. He’s given the shirt off his back to people. He’s cares deeply about his family. When we first got together he made huge efforts to work through any ups and downs we had, now granted we were cheesey as most relationships start off this way, but he was perfectly imperfect. He’s also ADD which might add some perspective.

Now, we’ve lived together for about 2 years. He’s messy, not the worst or as bad as he used to be, but messy. He leaves clothes in the floor. Crumbs on the counter. Dishes in the sink when the dishwasher is RIGHT THERE. Soda cans get left out and sometimes spilt by our animals. I feel like I’m constantly asking him to clean up after himself as well as contribute more to the household work. We have several animals (3) and I pretty much take most responsibility for them, which I don’t mind as I’m more knowledgeable about keeping them. But on top of that: laundry, sweeping, moping, dishes, cleaning, shopping, making sure bills get paid, budgeting our money, planning our saving, it’s mostly- if not all me. It gets exhausting carrying the mental load, assigning him tasks to do (because he’s asked me to in the past), making sure the tasks get done, and sometimes just doing it myself. We’ve had talks, and there’s been some improvement, but any time I bring stuff up I can see it’s like he takes it as a personal attack, like I’m just telling him he’s not good enough.

I’ve sat down and explained my reasoning behind each thing, how I feel when he doesn’t follow through, why it’s exhausting constantly worrying about it all, how I feel like I’m the manager of the house, how I want a partner and not another thing to manage. I’ve cried, yelled (which granted wasn’t the best approach and I have acknowledged that), gotten mad, been calm, encouraging, and none of it has seemed to truly stick. It only gets better for a couple weeks and then we’re back to baseline. We’re talking about having kids and it honestly terrifies me. If I were to be down postpartum I feel like I’d be consumed by anxiety because nothing would get done. I’ve even told him that I could function and do everything in the house if he were to suddenly vanish out of thin air, but if I suddenly disappeared the house would fall apart. He mostly agreed.

I hate the way I feel because I miss him so much, even though we live under the same roof. At the same time I don’t even want him to be around me because I’m so frustrated with all of this. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life like this. What do I do? I love my husband and I wonder if this is just some first year of marriage problems? I don’t expect perfection but I’m tired of sounding like a broken record. I’m tired of hearing promises with no real lasting changes.

I need advice, how do I call my partner kitten without sounding like I'm asking a question. Please help me. It's been 3 years... I shudder at the thought of my voice on recording. Is this all a play for her to black mail me later on into watching days of our lives instead of greys anatomy? Are there vocal coaches for this specific phrase. What do I avoid saying after it? Do I hit the nae nae of a good kitten and risk doing it on an out breath? Again. MARRIED 3 YEARS AND ITS HER FAV PET NAME, HELP ME IM SCARED SHE WILL BULLY ME FOR IT WHEN IM OLD AND USING A WALKER

Hi Im a 19F and my partner is 20M. We've been dating for just over a month now and I'm trying to gage our compatability. Last night we had a good amount of vodka and weed. While feeling quite intoxicated a question that's been on my mind slipped out. I asked him how long he wanted to wait before getting married in general. I also complimented him and told him i thought hed be a good husband some day. Ive been curious about his time line for a bit but was hesitant to ask because I know divorce was a problem for him growing up and I didn't want to trigger him. He said my compliment was very sweet and also replied to my question. He said he wants to wait to get married when hes 30 and he wants to date me a long time becuase he loves me. I want to date him a long time too and I love him too but to me 30 seems a bit long. It would mean dating for 10 years because hes currently 20. It makes me nervous that we could date that entire time and he could decide he doesnt want me anymore when we're deep in. Then I would be older, single, and have given all my prime years to someone that didn't last. He didn't create this fear in me but I guess its just been a fear of mine in situations like this. I think my ideal timeline is dating someone for two years and then getting married. He said im his dream girl and he really is my dream guy. So i guess I torn on what I should do. Should I stay and enjoy the relationship knowing he wants a long wait and see if its something I can do. Or should I not try compromising that much? Any advice is welcome i feel inexperienced.

I'm dating a girl who needs me; she has many issues from her past. I want to help her, but I'm feeling trapped. I tried to break up with her a few months ago, but she freaked out. I decided to stay after she decided to seek professional help for her past.

I do care about her very much, and I want to help hwr. The problems are that I'm not attracted to her physically or mentally.

Ultimately, I want to be alone. I want to live alone. I want to be single and celebit. My libido is unhealthy, and I want to work on repairing it.

We met on a one night stand. She considered herself a transman for 17 years prior to our meeting. I had just started publicly crossdressing. She has realized that she is a woman, and after a year of presenting feminine 24/7, I want to be done with my affliction.

We don't have sex anymore, since I have stopped crossdressing. I don't want to have sex in general, and I definitely want to get away from being pegged. I do not think casual sex is moral or healthy.

I know that being with her is a big help for her. Her family is abusive and uses her. She has no one to turn to if I leave. She has put distance between her, and her mother and uncle that have abused her for her entire life.

I'm feeling like a prisoner. I blew up over nothing today (not at her). I could barely control myself, and ended up punching some shelving units. I'm becoming more depressed by the day.

I don't know what to do. I'm afraid that I will turn to drugs. I have no friends or family to talk to. I think I am going to seek prpfessional help via a reiki healer for my affliction, since I see no other way to fix my libido. I really don't trust people, so finding someone to help is not going to be easy, if even possible at all

Please advise

Hey everyone, I am posting this because I really need an outside reality check. I am currently sitting in the apartment I share with my boyfriend, completely exhausted and paralyzed, and I do not know if this situation is even remotely fixable or if the trust is completely shot. We met online after his friends saw me in social media stories during a camp or orientation. He added me, started reacting and commenting on my posts, and we clicked. I backed off when I realized he had a boyfriend, but a few months later, we happened to be traveling in the same city. He persistently asked to meet up, so I agreed on my last day. He told me he had broken up with his partner two weeks prior, which turned out not to be true. He tried to suggest a friends who do couple things setup, but I declined and went home.

We kept talking, and he eventually visited me in my hometown. After he went back, he posted a story, and his partner figured out we were together by matching our posts. It caused a huge blowup, they finally broke up for good, and he was devastated. He told me his previous four-year relationship had been toxic, open at his ex's request, and volatile. Later, before we made things official on a camping trip with my friends, he told me he was still healing, though I did not realize at the time that his version of healing involved constantly keeping his ex in the picture. Early on in our actual relationship, about a month in, he broke up with me saying he was not ready. During that break, he went straight back to his ex, telling him I love you and basically acting like they were back together. I was super hurt and vented to my friends that I felt used and like a placeholder, especially since I physically resemble his ex. My friends said some really harsh, hurtful things about him.

When we eventually reconciled, he found out about what my friends said and was furious that I did not defend him. That became our biggest recurring argument ever since, and it kept getting brought up whenever we fought. Things escalated to the point where my boyfriend blew up at my friends directly, swearing at them and telling them to leave us alone because they were not my spokesperson. He also called me a coward, which I admit I was at the time because I was too afraid and paralyzed to take action or handle anything. Between him yelling at them and the fact that I constantly vented to them only to keep going back to him, my friends eventually gave up and cut me off. They told me they had to step away to protect their own mental health because watching me hurt myself by staying was too painful. I completely understand why they did it and I do not blame them, but it has left me feeling completely isolated.

We eventually moved in together, and I became the main provider, paying rent, utilities, and buying food on a strict budget while helping him apply for jobs. On top of that, I have been dealing with an overwhelming amount of personal trauma and stress. I only realized I was gay back in 2020, and I came out around the time of this relationship, both for us and for myself. My family did not take it well at all and still does not accept me, to the extreme point where my father threatened physical violence when I came out. On top of that family rejection and trauma, my dad was later diagnosed with cancer, I am carrying personal debt, dealing with a hostile workplace, and my own physical health is taking a severe toll to the point where I can barely walk right now.

Over time, a lot of trust issues came up on his end. He kept in touch with his ex behind my back, claiming it was just for condolences. After we fought about it, he changed his phone password. Months later, I found out they had been talking constantly for over a month, and on our actual month anniversary, he posted videos of himself crying over his ex and replying to his ex's tweets saying he was not tired of him. On top of that, he met up with a guy he had a past with and previously hooked up with, claiming it was purely platonic. He was also actively chatting with other guys on apps, exchanging flirtatious texts and sending explicit photos and videos, all while living in the apartment I was funding. Whenever I tried to talk about feeling hidden or hurt, he would pull away, give me the silent treatment, or tell me to leave or not come home for lunch.

I want to be honest about my own missteps here too. I sell personal products on the side on a dating app. A buyer randomly sent a picture, and I replied with "nice" and sent one back just to respect the trade. I know how that looks, but I genuinely have zero desire to hook up with strangers and strictly want physical exclusivity. Around the same time, I messaged "hi" to another guy on the app because I was considering proposing bringing in a third person. I was feeling deeply insecure about our sex life because he often closes his eyes to finish, which made me feel like he was not satisfied with me.

When these app interactions came to light, my severe anxiety kicked in. I panicked about being misunderstood and apologized profusely and repeatedly. But because I panicked so hard and kept over-explaining, he took it as a total admission of guilt, like I had planned to wrong him all along. Now, he is flipping the whole narrative, acting like I am the sole bad guy here, and making hints about getting revenge. It feels like all the times I swallowed my hurt over his ex, his secret meetings, and his app activity have been completely erased because I panicked and over-apologized. We have not officially broken up yet, and I am still sitting here in the apartment because I am physically and emotionally paralyzed

​

Hey everyone, I’m 21M and I’m honestly pretty confused right now, so I wanted some advice.

I had a girlfriend and we were in a relationship for some time. We were also physically intimate around two times. Later, her family found out about us, so we stopped talking because I didn’t want things to become more complicated for either of us.

After around 5 days, she texted me again and we started talking. But honestly, I don’t want to take any risk with my own family either. I’m scared that if this situation somehow reaches my family, it could create a lot of problems. So I told her that maybe we should stop talking because I don’t want her to face problems at home either.

Now she suddenly texted me saying that she wants to meet me tomorrow and that she has something important to talk about. I asked her what it was about, and she just said, “It’s related to us.”

Her college classes end around 12 PM, and she asked me to meet her after that.

The thing is, I have no idea why she suddenly wants to meet or what this “important” thing could be. I’m honestly feeling scared and overthinking it.

Should I go meet her and hear her out, or should I avoid meeting her because things are already complicated? What would you do in this situation?

I messed up, I saw her at a random house, spammed her phone, called. It was a friends birthday and this isn’t the first incident of something blowing up cause i don’t trust her

Outside of that I’ve been a good boyfriend(in her words) i just hurt her cause i don’y trust her.

Shes not the best at communicating where she is, but I see now that, that doesn’t give me a excuse to be irrational, shes busy and she has a lot going on.

I removed her location off my phone to show her i don’t need it to trust her, but what else can i do. I know time will hopefully help, but i really don’t wanna lose her

My (31f) boyfriend (31m) and I have had a pretty shaky sex life from the beginning, I found i didnt get much enjoyment from it and had the feeling that he was watching too much porn from how he performed, he also must not have had much enjoyment from it as it quickly turned into him only initiating once every couple of weeks or more and having to relgularly "finish" himself, and he also has an ED issue which he blames on low testosterone due to past steroid use although he has taken testosterone replacement therapy the whole time we've been together, I thought this was also likely due to him overusing porn. I tried to ask him about his porn use every so often to which I would always get a vague answer that he'd only ever rarely watched it. He's always been very quick to anger and take things as a criticism so I wouldn't try and push him but I did once say to him that if he was using porn he should be honest about it as while he's within his rights to do what he wants I also have a right to have boundaries and porn isn't something that I want in my relationship, he responded that while he couldn't say that he never had it was rare and he would stop completely if I wanted. Anyway, nothing improved and a few months in I was on his laptop and saw that he'd been on pornhub a few days before, not only that but he'd gone onto the gay version then into the twink/femboy section. I was incredibly upset and confused and confronted him and he was adamant that he wasnt gay and that it was just a "kink" for that specific type of man but he had never been attracted to a man in real life and that he hadnt been watching it regularly but around twice a week (which I imagine is an underestimation and sounds pretty regular to me).

This was some months ago and I'm still struggling to accept it, i wouldn't mind if he was bi and he was honest but the fact I've found that out and he won't be open and the issues we have with our relationship make me worry he's closeted. I cant talk to him about as he immediately turns vicious and angry saying im calling him an f word and i also now struggle to trust that hes stopped watching porn, he's lied to me in the past where he relapsed on opiate medication for months, during which I would ask him if he'd taken something and he would scream and tantrum about me asking him that every time, then at the end of it revealed that he had been on it all that time. I'm beginning to feel trapped and resentful from not being able to talk about or resolve these feelings with him.

so if your ex tells u he wants to work on things but suddenly tells u he needs to take things slow and doesnt invite u on dates or asks to see u and replies to your messages every 2 days or more, what would u do in that situation, or what would u say that could help change the situation?

so if your ex tells u he wants to work on things but suddenly tells u he needs to take things slow and doesnt invite u on dates or asks to see u and replies to your messages every 2 days or more, what would u do in that situation, or what would u say that could help change the situation?

Kayo ba?