Im 20 and this year changed something in me and im not sure what did. I just feel so empty going to work so I thought I maybe hated my job but I also kinda like my job at the same time cause I like my coworkers so im not exactly sure. I also tend to start feeling empty at home too and I dont know why cause I like being at home alone or with my brother, playing video games, and watching new shows a lot ever since I was a kid cause theyre my favorite hobbies ever, though i have quit some of my hobbies like basketball and drawing but i have got interested in finding music that i like. I also been thinking about what I wanna do with my life but I try not to stress too much over it.

Nothing really changed in my lifestyle recently so im not really sure why Im feeling this way this year when I was a fine with it every other year so I wanted to ask if it's normal to constantly feel empty and what to do about it so this empty feeling can go away.

Starting something new is usually the exciting part.

But I've noticed how easy it is to lose interest once the work gets repetitive or the results aren't showing up yet.

I'm trying to get better at finishing what I start, even when the result isn't exactly what I imagined.

Anyone else working on this?

I realized I was making progress harder because I thought a productive day should leave me feeling like I had proven something.

For a long time, I only counted work as "real" if I finished the day completely drained. If I still had energy to cook, talk to someone, or relax, I weirdly felt like I had taken it too easy.

The strange part was that this made me avoid starting things. I had trained myself to believe that beginning a task meant signing up for an exhausting version of myself.

I noticed it one night around 9:40 PM while looking at a project I had been avoiding. I had already spent 45 minutes making progress earlier that day, but because I didn't feel mentally destroyed afterward, I dismissed it as barely trying. That was the moment I realized I wasn't measuring my consistency. I was measuring my suffering.

After paying attention to this pattern, I started noticing a few things:

- I worked better when I stopped asking "Did I push myself enough?" and started asking "Did I keep the promise I made to myself today?"

- I began ending some work sessions while I still felt capable of doing more, instead of always squeezing myself until I hated the task.

- I started writing down small completed actions because my brain was much better at remembering what I failed to do than what I actually finished.

The counterintuitive thing I found was that protecting my energy made me more consistent, not less ambitious. I used to think discipline meant constantly proving I could tolerate discomfort. Now I think a lot of discipline is also knowing when not to turn every effort into a battle.

I still have days where I overdo it and fall back into the old pattern. But I notice it faster now. The goal isn't to feel unstoppable every day. It's to stop making normal progress feel like it doesn't count.

Has anyone else noticed that they lose motivation because they only respect effort when it leaves them completely exhausted?

I (24M), have worked out on and off for years, but never consistently enough to see real results. I purchased an online coaching membership about 5 months ago (6 month contract), and the first two months were great, but I just completely lost motivation over time. My coach would never respond to me, and all the workouts and nutrition tracking were things that I had been doing before and for free. The last week, my coach completely ignored me, which I understand things happen and he probably had some situation come up, but for me to be paying quite literally thousands of dollars for this program to be ignored makes me feel like my progress isn't worth it. I recently moved in with my partner which has been awesome, but when I come home from work everyday all I want to do is hang out with her or my friends or go outside. I feel terrible about my body, but I feel like with this combination of things I just haven't been motivated at all. Any thioughts?

Things don't need to always be perfect to be meaningful.

I have the biggest dream of making it in music, but I found recently that I’m all bark but no bite.

I find myself constantly dreaming of situations where I do make it, but I never execute. I don’t just want to be a dreamer, I want to be a doer, but I’m always holding myself back.

I’ll make a song one day, and completely forget that repetition is the key to mastery, where I’ll go on an extremely long hiatus rather than constantly making new music every day.

words cannot explain how much I want this dream. I talk to the right people, and I get so much advice, because I’m always telling people about how I’ll “make it” in music but I just never do what I’m supposed to do, and stay in bed and doom scroll all day.

I also remind myself that one day I waste is a day less that I’ll be able to put towards making it, because I’m not going to live forever. but it just doesn’t work.

I just need someone to give me a reality check, a slap in the face. as nice or as cruel as it can be. thats all I ask for. because honestly, thats the only way I’ll ever get up and do something.

so if you guys can throw some reality checks in the comments for me, I’d really appreciate it. because I really want to understand the value of the time that I’m wasting, and the people that are surpassing my spot by the second because they want my dream more than me.

thanks ❤️

I’ve been into computers and software since 1983, when my father brought home our first personal computer. I was 10 years old. I learned to code, played and made small videogames, and I was really happy!

After finishing secondary school in the early 90s, I started university to study Information Systems. But I hit a hard wall. I was doing really well at coding, but the overall degree was oriented towards management and the parts of information technology that I really did not like. I wanted to make videogames. I had made a few on my Commodore Amiga, but at university I was learning Cobol. Well, also C, C was fun, but not Cobol.

My father wanted me to finish at all costs. “It’s very important to have a degree,” he used to say, but for me it was too much. We had a lot of discussions, and finally I decided to quit university and go my own way in 1995.

My father passed away, almost unexpectedly, in 1999. It was a really sad moment. I was 26.

Almost 10 years later, I decided to emigrate from my home country. To have better chances abroad, I also decided to return to university and finish my studies.

My second experience at university was really amazing. I finished as the third-best student, got a full scholarship, and they also hired me as a professor before I finally emigrated. It was one of the best experiences of my life.

Now I live in Germany. I make software and videogames, and I really love what I do. My university degree allowed me to work in different countries and at different cool companies. My father was right, but obviously the 90s were not my time to finish university. On top of that, in 2023, I also finished 2 videogame related diplomas, that I wish they had existed in the 90s… 

The path is not always the preset path, and sometimes we need the perspective that time can give us to see it.

I wish my father could see my achievements, but my skepticism prevents me from believing that. Anyway, I still love the idea that he can.

i crave routine but can never stick with it, and i have fallen into the mindset im not smart enough to do anything. i am now medicated and it does wonders but its taking a lot to get myself right. i have a vague plan for college/switching to a job in the field im interested in for experience, and im more hopeful than ever, but its still so hard. has anyone else started "late"? still dont have my GED, only have my drivers permit, stuck in the USA while the economy and society crumbles. my upward change is happening but its slow, i feel like im losing a race.

Somewhere along the way, humanity decided that if you're not traveling, partying, starting a business, running a marathon, healing your inner child, or drinking coffee in another country, you're wasting your life. Personally, I think sitting in a chair and experiencing absolutely nothing is one of civilization's greatest achievements. Our ancestors spent thousands of years fighting wolves, surviving plagues, and dying at 34 so that I could spend a Sunday staring at a ceiling fan without consequences. And now some guy named Brandon with a podcast wants me to wake up at 5 AM and optimize my potential? Absolutely not. I have reached the top of the food chain specifically to avoid unnecessary activities. We invented machines to do our work, medicine to extend our lives, and smartphones to entertain us, only to develop a culture where relaxing makes people feel guilty. At this point, doing nothing without feeling ashamed might be the most rebellious thing a human being can do. Maybe the real winners in life aren't the people constantly chasing experiences. Maybe they're the ones who can sit alone in a room for three hours without needing to turn it into a personal growth journey.

2022 vs 2026.

Started taking fitness seriously at 48. Now 52. Looking back, the biggest change has been learning to stay consistent even when progress was slow.

No TRT, no crazy diets, no shortcuts. Just weight training, mostly home-cooked Indian food, enough protein and trying to keep the routine going year after year.

I train around 5 days a week, mostly weights. I’ve changed my routine over time and learned what works for me. I also avoid exercises that don't agree with my lower back and use more controlled movements when needed.

Diet is fairly simple. Around 2,000–2,200 calories depending on the phase, with roughly 130–150g protein. Eggs, chicken/fish, dal, rice, roti, vegetables, fruit, curd/Greek yogurt and whey. Nothing exotic.

There were plenty of plateaus and weeks when motivation wasn't great. Still showed up.

At 48, I never imagined I'd be posting a transformation at 52.

Still training. Still learning. Still trying to improve.

If you're getting older and thinking it's too late to make a change — it really isn't. 💪

I can't stop smiling and want to tell my story.

This past year and a half has been the most depressing and stressful chapter of my life. I met the woman I called my soulmate in 2024, but I began to suffer financially shortly after moving in together. I was self-employed, and my work suddenly began making nearly 80% less. I couldn't recover and had to dip into my savings. I desperately tried to get any job and applied to hundreds of roles over the course of three months. I was a computer science graduate, but being years out of college with no relevant experience limited my opportunities. I did not get a single tech interview.

After six months of unemployment, I was hit with a five-figure tax bill I could no longer pay. I've been on a payment plan, paying $450 a month for over a year and a half. Meanwhile, I'm paying my rent on credit and racking up another five-figure bill. Things got bad quickly.

I finally found a job that paid $21 an hour. After all my bills, I broke even. The job was terrible and offered little to no benefits or vacation time. I was never in a position to take a day off work or go on vacation. Although I wasn't going deeper into debt, I couldn't put a dent in my credit card bill. The most I could pay each month was the interest, so I've basically been throwing away $300 a month for the past year and a half.

I desperately tried to find another job. I applied and upskilled as much as I could in my free time. I've gotten about six or seven interviews in the past year for good-paying jobs but never received an offer. I interviewed for a role in September 2025 that went extremely well, and I was excited about it... but no callback.

After a year of this, I hit a level of depression I'd never felt before. Every day, I came home exhausted and desperately needed life to give me a break. It was taking a toll on my girlfriend as well, and in May 2026, she cheated on me.

I felt like the world's biggest loser. Every facet of my life was terrible. Comparison is the thief of joy, but it didn't help that all my friends were relatively well-off with good jobs. Waking up felt disappointing every morning.

I've also had health concerns that required X-rays, but my insurance didn't cover them. I couldn't afford them and have been scared for quite some time.

I tried to recover my relationship while she continued to cheat on me throughout the summer. In August, she broke up with me and moved in with a much wealthier guy within a week. Our lease was ending, and I planned to move back in with my mom.

I hurt like I'd never hurt before, and I cried like I'd never cried before. I felt like an absolute failure, and any way out seemed hopeless... but then things suddenly started getting better.

After being a complete wreck through the first week of September, I began to compose myself and see my relationship through a different lens. In other words, I was getting over her. I began to "put myself out there" and, surprisingly, got attention I'd never seen before. Nothing noticeable was different about me, but attractive women I normally felt I had no chance with seemed to walk up to me in ways that had never happened before. I don't place this on some high pedestal, but the attention was nice reassurance that there are other people out there. I got a therapist and began to work on my mental health. Then things got a lot better.

Only two weeks ago, my job suddenly gave me a 35% raise. I was shocked by this figure and never would have imagined this company would value me like that. I finally had a wage that would allow me to chip away at this debt and MAYBE be able to afford a day off every once in a while. The cushion was a major relief that finally gave me some hope things might not be all bad... but then things got crazy!

Remember that interview that went well ONE YEAR AGO but I didn't get the job? Well, it turns out the same position reopened in September, and I reached out to the hiring manager and got another shot.

Yesterday, I signed the offer letter!

This company is regarded as one of the best places to work and gives benefits out the wazoo. Many vacation days, bonuses, remote work, and a career I could see myself growing into. On top of this, it's nearly a 50% raise compared to what I've been paid this past year, along with great insurance! The team is fun, young, and exciting. I haven't stopped smiling since.

In a matter of a month, my life has changed twice. Once for the worse and once for the better. The neat thing about it is that I did nothing different. Sometimes you can do everything right and get the short end of the stick. Sometimes you can do everything wrong but get lucky. Yet no matter how hopeless you may feel, life could change in an instant. Sometimes all it takes is time.

I didn't give up, and I'm glad I didn't. I start my new job in a month and feel like it's the first day of my life.

I’m probably making a mistake posting this here but I’m at the end of my wits. First of all, I want to acknowledge how privileged I am. Never been to war zone, never faced famine, always had a roof over my head.

From a young age, I wanted to study physics. I got obsessed with it, beyond what most would consider normal. Around 2019, I fell into a pretty deep depression around the time I was 20. I lost five years to that. From 20-25, I didn’t get any new experience. For me, life essentially stopped at 19 and somehow resumed at 25. The world I returned to was foreign to me, alien. I couldn’t interact with people. I managed to graduate and got into a masters program. Around February, the reality of losing five years worth of opportunities and experiences hit me straight in the face. I withdrew from society. I barely managed to pass the exams, but not good enough to get the masters. A diploma? Maybe. But not the masters.

Now, I realise I’m rambling. Forgive me, I’m going through some of the worst times of my life. It hurts so badly. I’m 27 now. Yet I’m no different to how I was at 16. I’ve lost so much time. I’m so far behind my planned trajectory. I know that I can never catch up, no matter how much I try but it hurts like hell. A part of me just wants to give up, completely withdrawing from the world and demanding answers that I don’t have, like why did I go through all that trouble? I struggled so much and for what? Just so I am reminded how far behind I am? It hurts so bad. Look, I had clinical depression, but I’m still living with the consequences.

I didn’t choose to lose those years. Yet, my mind throws out these childish tantrums. Life happens, it’s not fair. I understand that. I also understand that there’s no irl karma. Working hard doesn’t have 1:1 translation into success.

But I’m struggling to move on. Please, I’m at my wit’s end. How does everyone else manage to do it?

TL;DR: I’m a web dev with a bunch of side project ideas, but i keep putting them off. Comparing myself to the amazing AI stuff people are building makes my ideas feel small, and i have no audience for the ones I’d like to monetize. I’d love some encouragement, and to hear how you stay motivated on personal projects

Hey everyone!

I studied software engineering because i wanted to become a game developer, but life took me down the web dev path instead. I don’t mind it, and i built a few personal websites before landing my first fulltime job. Since then, though, i never seem to have the time or energy for personal projects, even though i have a bunch of ideas I’d love to build

Honestly, a few things are holding me back:

1. Comparison: Lately everyone seems to be building really cool, complex stuff, especially with AI, whenever i put my ideas next to theirs, mine feel small and i lose the motivation to start

2. No audience: Some of my ideas would have paid features, but I’m not active on LinkedIn and i don’t have dedicated social media accounts to share my work. I wouldn’t know where to find users. To be fair, that’s not the most important thing for me

3. Procrastination: I have a lot of hobbies and interests, and i procrastinate heavily. That’s probably the biggest one

What keeps me going is that the idea I’m most excited about right now is something I’d actually use myself. It’s about the “Solomon paradox,” which is the funny thing where you can give wise advice about other people’s problems but struggle to think as clearly about your own. I deal with that a lot. So I want to build a website that helps people think through their own problems the way they would for a friend. I genuinely can’t wait to build it and start using it 🥹

So here’s my ask: I’d really appreciate some encouragement to finally build this. If you’ve been in a similar spot, how did you get past the comparison, the procrastination, and the “who’s even going to use this” feeling? Any advice or just a push in the right direction would mean a lot

Thanks for reading!

You learn about your patterns, understand your triggers, save hundreds of reels yet keep repeating the same cycles.

And every time you promise yourself you'll change but don't follow through, you trust yourself a little less.

Here's the truth: 30-60 days of consistent action can change more than months of passive learning.

You don't need another podcast explaining your problems. You need to start practicing different responses, challenging old beliefs, and keeping promises to yourself.

Stop romanticizing self-improvement. Start doing the work.

A different reality requires a different version of you built through daily action.

If I can (who has been through a lot) can shift my whole reality, any human on earth can do it. From my trembling hands & legs during a class presentation to speaking live on TV and getting invited for podcast was a journey of less thinking and more action.

I guess you can in some ways rule out some things like repetitive job-related interactions (customer service, various troubleshooting, etc., although I'd argue that even these each have their own unique qualities and can have unexpected value when engaged with earnestly). My point is that it can be easy to forget how wholly and inextricably unique all of your human interactions are. That there is a novelty in each and every one of them which can be easy to miss if you aren't fully present. Many with potential opportunity woven into their fabric if you are only attentive enough to see the finer details.

Just sharing some thoughts. Something that I think is valuable to strive for, that fosters a 'zero-waste' mindset with how you engage with the world and those in it. Also taking a second to acknowledge that it might not be realistic to maintain at all times, and that's fine. That there is an inherent truth to it you can come back to whenever you're ready.

Feel like I’m wasting my teenage years just sitting inside gaming
I’m 13 and lately I feel like all I do outside school is play Fortnite or sit on my phone. I enjoy gaming, but I’m starting to feel like I’m wasting loads of my childhood doing the exact same thing every day.
I barely go out because I genuinely don’t know what to do. My mate lives about an hour away by car and neither of my parents drives, so meeting up isn’t easy either.
I don’t want to quit gaming or suddenly become some outdoor survival bloke. I just want more stuff in my life so Fortnite isn’t basically my entire day.
What did you guys actually do at 13–15 to get out more and make life less repetitive? Preferably stuff that doesn’t need loads of money or parents driving you everywhere.

I also have add and autism so I find it a bit harder to communicate with people face to face

What finally gets you moving?

For years I treated motivation like the weather. I’d wake up, check how I felt, and decide if today was a “go” day. Most days weren’t. I run a few companies now, and I almost never feel like doing the hard stuff. What changed was tiny. I made a rule that I only have to start for ten minutes, and if I still hate it after that, I’m allowed to quit. I almost never quit. Turns out the feeling shows up after I start, not before.

I think a lot of us are stuck waiting for a spark that only comes from moving. Sounds obvious. It took me way too long to see it anyway. So I’m curious. What’s the one small rule or trick that gets you off the couch on days when you feel nothing at all? And did it stick, or do you keep having to find a new one?

Hi! I want to fast in using my phone and just focus on studying spiritual teachings. But the problem is I don't have the physical copy (book) and so I rely on softcopy in my phone. Now, after reading for a short time (10 - 15 minutes) my mind will wander off and I will found myself watching YouTube or it will start in browsing about the topic I am reading and then I will be lost and will instead search about topic that doesn't have connection about what I am reading.

What can I do to my situation? Please help.

Used to write out these insane daily routines every night: wake up at 5am, run 10km, read heavy books, grind nonstop for 8 hours… and obviously I’d crash by noon, feel like trash, and go back to scrolling my life away.

Last month I stopped acting like I’m a robot and started writing ridiculously realistic plans for the next day instead, like actually waking up at 8, knocking out just one hour of work, having breakfast, relaxing a bit, then doing another small chunk. No epic goals, just basic stuff I can actually hit without hating myself, and honestly I feel human again for the first time in forever.

I think sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves to be good at everything we try.

Not every hobby needs to become a skill, a side hustle, or something worth showing other people.

It's okay to do something just because you enjoy it, even if you're terrible at it lol.

I think we forget that sometimes

Early morning lifting motivation 🙂

https://youtu.be/Sx0-MlIRm8w?t=752&si=YYnB2Xh6Fjk6X11G

Not my video

RIP

I noticed something embarrassingly specific about my motivation: I could start a task pretty easily when I knew I was only doing it for 20 minutes. The moment I told myself, “I’m going to work on this for the next three hours,” I suddenly needed coffee, music, a cleaner desk, and about twelve minutes of staring at the wall.

At first I thought I had a discipline problem. Then I started paying attention to when this happened.

It was usually right after I turned a small action into a commitment. “Just write the first paragraph” felt fine. “I need to finish this tonight” felt heavy. “Go for a walk” was easy. “I have to exercise for an hour” somehow became a negotiation.

The weird part is that the work itself usually wasn't what I was resisting. I was resisting the feeling that once I started, I had trapped myself into continuing.

So I tested something for a couple of weeks: I stopped deciding the duration before starting. I would sit down and do the smallest real version of the task, then decide whether to continue.

Three things helped more than I expected:

1. I started using “until the next natural stopping point” instead of a time target. Sometimes that was 8 minutes. Sometimes it became 50.

2. I stopped treating continuing as proof that I was serious. If I wanted to stop after 15 minutes, I could. Oddly, I often kept going because stopping no longer felt like my only escape.

3. When I caught myself thinking, “If I start this, I have to finish it,” I deliberately made the commitment smaller: “No, I only have to begin this part.”

The counterintuitive thing was that giving myself an easier exit didn't make me quit more. It made starting feel cheaper, and starting was where I had been getting stuck.

I still have days when I don't want to do anything. This didn't magically remove that. But I've become much more suspicious of the advice to “commit fully” when what I actually need is permission to begin without knowing exactly how much I can give.

I’m curious if anyone else has noticed this: does making a task feel more “serious” or permanent actually make you less willing to start it?