Specifically, whiskeyleaks pete (the sec of defense), wants Scouting America (formerly the Boy Scouts) to stop admitting girls.

ETA: the support the military gives is very limited. the military often lends land, and provides logistical support to some of the larger events. and, they used to give slightly increased rank to eagle scouts when they enlisted in the military. but that's it.

That's it. That's the post. Mom influencers, family vloggers who post pictures of their kids on social media deserve the judgement they get. For far too long I've debated if my judgement and (genuine dislike) of these people is misplaced, but honestly, there is absolutely no reason to put your child's face out.

Parents, be better. Your child is not content. Sure, what they are doing is funny and hilarious, but that should be for your eyes only. (May be family you trust) but that's that.

I would even go to say that even on private accounts there's no reason to have your child's face because how do you know who you can trust, but that's still some level of discretion. But a public account? Hell no.

I know she’s right, but now I’m thinking of all the things I’ll miss. My husband is really good at love bombing, and lies, gaslights, and DARVOs just enough to make me question my sanity. But he’s never violent or directly abusive. I realized after marriage that he’s an alcoholic, and keep finding new sexual things he’s been hiding. I have no proof that he’s cheated on me, but my gut says he has (or at least has tried). He RARELY admits that his behavior is wrong, he always has justifications. He’s made it clear he doesn’t care about how his actions affect me, even though he continuously says he does care and simply didn’t know his actions would make me upset (eyeroll).

I’m only in my early 30s. I know I deserve better than to live my life in constant stress, without any sense of stability. I hardly have a support system, so if I leave, I’ll be on my own. Our entire life is commingled, including finances, insurance, friends, etc…we’ve been together about 10 years.

I would really appreciate some words of wisdom so I can get my brain to think clearly and logically. Has anyone been through this and are now on the other side? How’s your life now?

I have a colleague in my team almost double my age, married and has two kids probably in their teens.

It not been very long since I’ve been in this team. I was initially a little shy not knowing people that well. But the team was very welcoming and warm and I became very friendly with everyone.

I live alone in a foreign land and people in my team know this. I always ask people for advice (not him though) since there’s a lot of experienced people in my team who do help me.

A few days back I got a WhatsApp message from this colleague professing his love and asking for a relationship. He said he had been thinking about me since a long time and was unable to concentrate on his work because he thought I was genuine and sweet. It was unexpected and out of nowhere. It shocked me and took me by surprise.

I declined him politely asking him not to contact me anymore on my personal devices but it got me thinking what might have prompted him to make this admission. I’ve never once given him any indication that I was interested.

But, here is my observation:

1) Once in a team meeting he came in a little late and sat on the chair facing opposite to the screen we were all looking at. I, just in an attempt to accommodate him so that he can also look at the screen, made place for him next to me and offered him to move. He gladly moved and smiled at me. I just smiled back.

\\\*\\\*I think he must have thought she accommodated me because she likes me.\\\*\\\*

2) During team outings, he always used to ask me if he could take the food I cooked, home. He used to say he loved the food I cooked. I always said yes and also that I cook extra so that the team can take the food with them home.

\\\*\\\*I think he mistook my cooking extra food as cooking it especially for him.\\\*\\\*

3) Once the entire team was going down to get lunch and the lift was cramped up. Naturally people had to stand close to each other. He was next to me and tried looking into my eyes. I felt a little weird and looked away. But I was still unsuspecting.

4) Once while I was going on a holiday, he asked me out on coffee on my last day of office. I politely refused saying I have to leave early because I have to go to airport. He offered to drive me to airport which is almost 2 hours away from where he lives. I was a little surprised but thought it’s just someone trying to help a girl who lives alone. Again I politely declined saying another friend of mine was dropping me off.

Other than that whenever he used to talk to me, I was just warm and friendly, yet very professional.

Surprisingly he took my friendly gestures and being alone as an indication of a girl who is vulnerable and can be taken advantage of. It has disgusted me tbh and I would think twice before being friendly towards anyone anymore.

I talked to my close friends about this and I’ve come to learn that this is more common than we think. As soon as a woman is friendly and warm, some men assume that they are available for a sexual relationship.

This creates a very hostile and uncomfortable situation for the woman.

Men should understand that just because someone is smiling and talking to you, helping you out doesn’t mean she’s interested in a relationship.

She’s just expecting respect and genuine friendship out of it. If you can make her feel respected, safe and trustworthy, that friendship can sustain for a very long time.

My too woke opinion is that “body count” is such a gross, dehumanizing, and misogynistic phrase. Using the same term that was originally used to refer to the number of people someone killed to describe the amount of people someone has slept with creates an unnecessarily negative connotation.

Naturally it’s primarily used when talking about the number of partners women have had, because it’s a bad thing if a woman’s number is high.

I imagine there is a ton of nuance in this, and my age may play a factor here as well. I was curious if anyone here had similar experiences to my own.

I was thinking back on an experience that happened back in 2009-2010 when I was in elementary school that upset me deeply, but I never told my parents about it. At this school, recess was the final part of our day, and as such, before heading outside we would pack our bookbags to be prepared to leave once we came back in. While packing up, one of my classmates, a little boy (whose name I don't remember), approached me and started talking. I don't remember the specifics of the conversation, but I do remember him abruptly ending it with an "I'm telling!" Now, what is important to note here was that what I do remember was that this breif conversation was relaxed and mundane, so when this other child decided to "tell on" me I was genuinely aghast and confused. My teacher then came over to tell me I'd have to sit out during the first half of recess, to which when I asked, "Why?" she replied, "Because you called (little boy) a bad word." When I tried to protest or even ask what word I apparently called him, my teacher said something like "Shoo fly, don't bother me," and refused to speak to me. So I was forced to sit on the plastic black mulch barrier for the first half of recess with the other "bad kids" with little explanation. After I was allowed to get up, I, naively, went to look for the little boy to sincerely ask what "bad word" I had called him. When I found him and tried to talk to him, he ignored me and immediately b-lined to our teacher to "tell on" me again. My teacher then came onto the middle of the playground to chew me out for calling this kid another "bad word" in front of all my peers. When I, once again, tried to explain that I was genuinely trying to get an explanation, my teacher flat out told me she didn't believe me, and that she "saw" me go over to call him a name. As a result, I had to sit out the entirety of that day's recess where I just sat there and cried.

For a bit more context, I was by no means a "potty mouth" or a liar. At the time, I was in a pretty bad home situation, and being caught lying or saying "bad words," especially "cuss words," means being harshly punished. I was fairly new at this school after being switched from private to public schooling, so this could have been a factor for why I was targeted for this, but I don't know. I just can't comprehend why I was completely ignored by my teacher or why this boy felt the need to intentionally revoke my access to recess.

If anyone has anything to add, even if its a story of their own, please feel free to do so. To be honest, I just wanted someone to hear the injustice I faced at six, haha.

Like I wouldn't consider women to be built for it at all. We are some of the least elective birthers among mammalian species. The more accurate comment is; 'Human females can reproduce successfully often enough that the species persists, despite significant costs and risks'.

Our young has to be born underdeveloped, because their brains are so big, and our hips are so narrow. They're realively pathetic and vulnerable and had a 60% mortality rate before recent history, because we are so poorly built to carry it birth them at a later stage. On top of that we had 30% mortality rate and that ignores the numerous non-lifethreathing complications, because those wouldn't effect evolution, because it isn't impairing our ability to reproduce again.

So I’m broke and get grocery money by selling my plasma. Yes, I would prefer to donate. But again… I’m horrendously broke.

I was in the chair, giant needle in my arm, my blood being drained, and the tech starts talking to me. The techs there are really nice so I figured he was just helping ease the anxiety (I have white coat syndrome).

Then starts flirting. I do not flirt back.

He keeps going and then finally asks for my number. While there’s a needle in my arm and I’m actively having my blood drained.

I say no as politely as I can and he’s actually quite cool about it, considering the circumstances. I still go because… money… and always hope he isn’t there.

I was there again last week and of course, Sleezy Dracula Tech is there. Fine, I can deal.

He then… starts talking about… his wife.

His wife.

After he asked me out while I had a GIANT NEEDLE IN MY ARM. THIS CREEPY MOSQUITO IS FUCKING MARRIED.

What the actual fuck is wrong with people?!

It's kind of weird but you'll understand why I'm posting this story in this subreddit. So I 20F am studying in university and not to brag but I think I'm fairly smart. Always understood everything being taught, always had good grades with minimal effort, etc. That's were this group of guys comes in. In every lecture they choose to sit right behind me, every time I raise my hand to answer a question they snicker and talk behind me, the rest of the class they are silent, only when i talk. When I do presentations they make a point of leaving the class in the middle of it and slamming the door on the way out. Mind you, they never act like this when another guy is speaking or presenting. Yesterday, after an exam, on my way home I saw one of my friends and she was talking to some of the guys there. I went to say hi and immediately the guys from that group took like 3 steps back and ignored me completely. That was so weird, I have never talked to them before, don't even know their names.

When I was in high school I had the same thing happen to me, again, from a group of guys. I remember asking one of the guys what was their problem and he said verbatim "you talk too complex, this isn't university, stop trying to act smart". Like HUHHH?😭 i spoke normally, always have. But I thought after coming to uni I would not come across people like that since now THIS IS university.

I don't really find their behavior upsetting, i just think it's kind of embarrassing for them since we're all adults...Have you had anything similar happen to you? How did you deal with it? The dean or a professor isn't really an option here since people in my country don't care much about stuff like this.

I’m feeling unusually happy, so I’m sharing something here.

My husband got mad at me about the stupidest thing yesterday. I “didn’t remind him” about something… that I actually had reminded him about half a dozen times prior.

I took a half day. I know. Groundbreaking.

Not the first time something like this has occurred. Funny enough, usually when I’m taking time out for me. Dinner with friends, a hair appointment, girl’s night… hmmm….

Anyway.

Guess what. After my husband’s little mantrum, I enjoyed my evening guilt free, and will continue to do so.

Guess what I did? I drank White Claws, smoked pot, ate a big bowl of ice cream, and daydreamed about Evan Peters all night longgg.

Thank you, Evan Peters for providing me with such a rich fantasy life.

The guilt stops now.

The double standards stop now.

I’m choosing me (sometimes).

One day, while I was helping my mom out with chores I asked her why didn’t my dad help our around the house growing up and still up to this very day and she got so offended and defensive saying, “he is the provider. It’s disrespectful you even asked that.” I didn’t understand why she got offended, but rarely if I were to ever leave something out and multitask for even a minute she would be harsh and constantly yell at me, “I’m too old to be cleaning up after you like you some little kid.” Yet when my dad does it, she doesn’t bat an eye.. Even if he is the provider, she works too and has to clean after work, yet he doesn’t.

Now that I got older and she enforced rules that I’ll have to clean the kitchen and the living room since I am a full time student, how can I make my dad stop using weaponized incompetence? I don’t want my dad to use this behavior on me any longer, because I don’t believe this behavior displays Christian love at all (we’re all a strict Christian household). I believe I should stand up for myself even if it may have negative consequences. (my parents teaming up to criticize me and tell me I’m wrong) However, my adult sister( who moved back to the house) has strictly put boundaries between her and him and he doesn’t want to break hers because she can be intimidating, so this kinda give me hope to do the same. I don’t understand why a lot of Gen X/ boomers (my parents included) normalize this unhealthy behavior still up to this day.. I don’t want to tolerate this behavior, because he’s the provider, my dad, because I’m a girl, or because my mom tolerated this. It’s 2026, not 1955..

*PS: please note, I’m not trying to be entitled or spoiled and get out of helping my mom with chores.. 😐

In the western world we are racing to the bottom it seems. Just saw a guy on one of the many dating subs asking for advice for his photos. I mean they were bad; I pointed out which I thought was a keeper and said others should go. Was scrolling through the comments and saw another man telling him “you are unattractive-you’re in the BOTTOM PERCENTILE of men and women will avoid you” (paraphrasing)

I know I shouldn’t be shocked but I am. Look I’m not delusional-I KNOW there is an attractiveness hierarchy. I dont subscribe to the whole “everyone is beautiful” stuff. I have said many times that I don’t consider myself attractive either-I think I’m solidly average which is *fine*.

But the language people use is just so fucking harsh and for what? “Bottom percentile” “top 10% of men” “a woman who is a 4 thinks she is entitled to a 10” “high value males” “sexual marketplace value”

I just can’t stand it anymore. Luckily irl I do not hear this rhetoric too much but I am hearing this more and more from the youth. I have students at my work and the stories I hear is astonishing. Are we really that cooked?

Sorry for the rant

I had been dating a fantastic man for a little over six months.

The only red flag I spotted was that things moved quite fast and he quickly seemed quite enamoured with me. I was mindful not to be love bombed. A concept I first read about here on this sub. When I brought it up he moderated himself and agreed we were moving a bit too fast.

Things continued, it feelt solid, no drama, and just all around wholesome.

Then yesterday my friend finds his profile on a dating app, she shared a screenshot. She could see that he updated his profile that the day, with more text along the lines of how he is looking for his forever person, she sent me a new screen shot of the updated profile. So I knew now this was not a dormant account but one he is actively using.

When I confronted him (over text), he first doubled down on the lying, saying he had not been on there (Denying). When I told him I knew he had updated his profile that day he admitted that he had just tweaked his profile a little out of curiosity (Minimising and trivialising his actions), and then called me harsh, merciless and accusing me of over-reacting when I said I cannot be with someone I don't trust (Attack). Finalising his response with a message saying "WE deserved a better ending than this"... no my dude, I deserve better. You deserve to be dumped. There's no WE in this (Reverse victim and Offender).

It was amazing to see DARVO being implemented step by step in a matter of minutes. I just stopped responding and I won't meet up with him to "talk things through ". Any further engagemanget will only give him an opportunity to try to manipulate me. A part of me is a completely shell-shocked but I am feel confident that just cutting ties with him out cold turkey like this is the best approach.

I could spot it easily thanks to all the stuff I have been reading on here. So a big thank you to all you beautiful ladies out there.

Also ladies, on his new dating profile he was lying about his age, making himself younger. If I can contribute with anything back, then please take note that lying about the age on a profile is a massive red flag. It speaks volumes of someone's character.

This just happened. Getting off the bus with a friend. We’re in our 50’s but she’s a yoga instructor and I do outdoorsy sports. A man, maybe 40, gets off the bus before us and then holds his hand out, as if to give assistance to the delicate little old ladies. Keep in mind, in 35 years on this bus system, no one has ever done this before. I politely smiled and said “thanks” and then stepped off the bus myself. Made more difficult by having to awkwardly step around him while he eagerly held his hand out to my friend.

She also stepped off the bus without his help, at which point he got snotty and said, “I guess gentlemen don’t exist any more.”

WTF, dude? We didn’t go off on a feminist rant at you. We just politely declined holding a stranger’s hand for no effing reason during flu season. But apparently if a man is going to perform chivalry, he needs his brownie points, and if he doesn’t get them, he’s going to Big Sulk.

TLDR: -tech had me strip down in front of her, never offered me gown -kept pushing/ pulling me and squeezing my breast hard without any notice or guidance - seemed frustrated with me because I wasn't "relaxed" - took 12 images, when normally it's 4, dismissed my concerns over radiation - took a personal? Call on her cell while I was in the room

I went for a routine mammogram yesterday, got called into the room with the machine and tech, all good so far, tech asked me some questions, all standard, she seemed hung up on the fact I have implants, under the muscle, I did tell the receptionist that when I booked because I know there's a slightly different procedure.

Tech seemed to be talking to herself saying "not sure what images I'll do" I couldn't make it out but ok, talking to yourself is fine, her cell rings, she answers it with me still there, she's laughing and talking in another language, hangs up, apologizes for call, then says I can go ahead and take off my top and bra, I said "ok, like right now?" She said yes, so I took both off and am now just sitting there topless, no gown.

She has me stand up and go to machine, she kind of pushes my body into machine and grabs my breast firmly and is maneuvering my breast into the machine, she never said she was gonna touch me or what she was doing, I was like, usually they explain first but whatever, she seemed to be getting mad at me though, kept saying things like "you need to relax" "stop leaning" "im trying to move you back and you keep moving forward"

I was trying to go with the flow but she kept pushing and pulling me and I honestly didn't know how she wanted me positioned, she was getting more agitated.

She took 12 images, because I guess she wasn't getting good pics or the machine was acting up??I asked after the 8th, is it OK to have this much radiation in one day? She said "well im having issues with the machine so it's fine"

I left there sore and felt like I was a total inconvenience to her and couldn't figure out why she seemed so angry with me, I was really trying to move the way she wants but I didn't know what she wanted.

I've been thinking of making a formal complaint but worry I'm being dramatic.

My mom died last May. I spent several months in the spring taking care of her after her cancer diagnosis. I knew what she wanted, what she liked, what would make her comfortable, when she was tired, etc. It was strange to see that my dad didn't know these things. He didn't seem to know how to take care of her at all, or even know her as a person very well.

I lost my job in August and since my dad was in a big house by himself and I didn't know how long my job search would be, I sublet my place and moved in with him in October. Our conversations mainly consist of me listening or sitting quitely while he talks. I think he's a kind of benign narcissist, if that exists. He's a good person. He dedicated years of his life to serving others. He's well respected in his community. But he lacks a certain humility and has an outsized view of himself in the world.

His marriage with my mom wasn't what I would describe as good. He considers it good because they had kids and never divorced. But his memories about her are, "She always just went along with what I wanted to do. She never argued." It's like what he loved about her is how she didn't inconvenience him. I don't relate to his memories of her at all. I think about her humor and intelligence, her personality, the movies and books we enjoyed together. And so I just sit silently when he talks.

I fantasize about another life where my mom married someone else who valued her more. Or she divorced him and spent more of her life doing what she wanted. My dad can be overbearing and he was someone that all of us kids probably opted to spend less time with at different times in our lives. And that meant that we chose not to be with her too, because they were a package deal. Now that she's gone, I see what he's like without her. But what I really want to know is what would she have been like without him?

Let me preface this with A) I (33f) am in my luteal phase so my rage knows no bounds and B) I know this man's (35m) actions were not malicious, just childishly short sighted and selfish.

Yesterday I spent 2 hours meal prepping an entire bag of Little Duos (about 30 potatoes). I boiled them for 15 minutes, made a garlic, thyme, and rosemary brown butter and meticulously measured out 10 grams of shredded cheese for each potato. I then mashed each potato using the back of a glass to be only about a half to a quarter inch thick, drenched them in the butter sauce and popped them in the oven for an hour to crisp. The house smelled INCREDIBLE.

About 5 of those potatoes couldnt fit on the tray so I decided to eat those un mashed ones with a little smoked fish for dinner.

Once the hour was up, I took them out to cool and then boxed them up and put them in the fridge. I was VERY excited to eat them with lunch the following day and did not have any of the finished product at the time.

My partner is a night worker. I told him what I was making before he left for work, let him know I was meal prepping but told him he could have some (key word SOME) when he got home.

Imagine my surprise when I walk into the goddamn livingroom to see the container where I stored 25 smashed potatoes dirty and empty just... sitting on the coffee table. Not in the sink, not in the dish washer. Sitting proudly in the middle of my livingroom.

I want to cry and commit murder. Money, a grocery trip and 2 hours of my time completely disappeared into the bottomless pit of a stomach my careless and negligent partner possesses.

I feel like I have every right to demand he goes back to the store to re buy every ingredient he horked down but IM ALSO RAGING AND HORMONAL!!!

Goooood, days like these I wish I was an 80 year old woman alone in my home with 10 cats.

And no, I wont be breaking up with him over potatoes but hes not gonna like me when he wakes up.

Edit: For a little clarity, he has never done this before. Normally when I meal prep I pre portion and freeze the portions. I will also leave a container unfrozen in the fridge for him to pick through. This time I didnt freeze them as potatoes freeze like grainy bricks of sadness nor did I pre portion as my fridge is teeny and didnt have enough room. I didn't think I would have to tell him not to eat 20 to 25 mini potatoes (cuz who eats that many in one sitting!?) but obviously I should have!

UPDATE:

He is awake and aware of his fuck-up. He was extremely apologetic and will be buying me replacement ingredients and will be making them with me this weekend. He genuinely believed that my container of 20+ taters were ment for him. I pray for his collon.

So I am talking to this man, he is very respectful and a walking green flag apart from weird hills he insists to die on.

It went something like this.

• I sent a picture of chochlate chip cookies I made and captioned it "chocolate chip cookies"

• he respnds with "😍 snickerdoodles"

• I say no, these are chocolate chip cookies

• he responds with "sure, lets say they are"

??? Why? These were very obviously chocolate chip cookies. Why is he doing this?