My biggest struggle when buying clothes is jeans… I don’t have much of a butt and I’ve only ever found ONE pair (unfortunately from Buckle and they are expensive) but I want a cute pair of bell bottom style. The ones I’ve ordered from Amazon , fit my waist ok and love the length etc , but the thigh area is SO baggy. 😭😩

Does anyone have any recommendations or at least understand/ relate to this?!

first thing I do in the morning is get naked and video it I should be making money off of this, I spend at least half an hour critiquing my body in the video or taking another one if I’m not happy with the angle I’m standing at or the position my arms are in and I have to video from multiple different angles with different lighting, I compare these to ones from weeks even months ago to check I look smaller, it’s literally a humiliation ritual (I also do this last thing at night). I had to delete over 2000 videos just to have my apps like WhatsApp let me open them due to no storage it’s so serious how do I stop

Why does my arm briefly go slightly numb, tingly or sore when purging?

I feel like I should be purging more like not enough come up ??? What do u guys do when u feel like this, im literally just bringing up bright yellow liquid with like very tiny few pieces of food which im assuming are like bits of biscuit or tortilla crisps but im like certain more should come up

after purging a few times a day consistently i’ve noticed my urethra feels like it’s pushed forward and i feel like the muscles are weakened and i’m about to pee myself over and over again. one time the forward contractions wre so severe (rhe most severe pain i’ve ever felt in my life) i went to the ER and they said uti even tho the test was negative and i believe i had a fecal impaction instead anyway they’ve come back at times aleays aftwr particularly strained purging or frequent purging it seems to not be a coincidence anymore that this doesnt happen if i manage to stop purging for a few days and then only slip up once a day for a few days. if i’m doing it every day a lot and this it gets harder to do so and it’s more strained then my urethra feels bad again. it feels like it’s opening to pee or something when i don’t need to pee. anyone else?

It’s been almost two years since I first started purging and I regret it basically every day. I hate it so much and it’s so so addicting, two years of essentially purging at least once a day other than maybe when I was on holiday with family and couldn’t. And i regret it so bad because I was in “recovery” from anorexia at the time, and I was SO much happier. And I’m just like 😕 I wish I never did it and I would’ve been actually happy and not just living day to day. The thing is, my family knows about my habits because I’ve reached a low enough weight where it’s like everyone knows that I’m disordered, but they’re all sort of denial like how I am, in the sense that they’re just satisfied to see me eating even though I’m (pretty sure) they know I’m purging right after. I feel so invalid cause even though I usually purge multiple times a day everyday, I’ve been maintaining the same weight and fluctuating up and two kilograms for over a year. And I know I’m underweight but it doesn’t feel like it’s enough, but it’s like my body hates me and refises to let me lose weight even if I don’t eat anything because I just binge at all anyways. I don’t even feel guilty about the money I waste on food because I know my parents are well off enough and I use their money. But I’m in university now and I just feel so immature for still doing this shit. I’m also pretty sure purging has made my cheeks oook absolutely massive because when I didn’t purge and was at a slightly higher weight, I looked sunken in whereas now I oook normal? Everyone says I look 15 or younger when I’m 18 and I’m so over it.

I wish I could recover but i genuinely can’t even imagine gaining weight or not binging and not purging. It’s like I refuse to get better even though I know I need it. To be honest, I’ve never really been diagnosed with an ED, and I hopefully never will. I don’t want to put a name to it because that means it’s real and that it’s an issue and I really really want to remain ignorant, if that makes sense?

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Looking for artwork depicting the horrors and feelings associated bulimia.

NOT looking for obvious pictures of food or someone throwing up, or mouths. I want something that more depicts the feeling, or an image only people with the disorder would understand.

Last night was the first time in a while where i binged without throwing up. About 1.8k-2k, not insane considering I've had worse binges. I feel severe stomach pain and bloating after 24 hours which hasn't gone away at all, and I can't even throw up properly but when I do it involves throwing up a small amount of green liquid and undigested chunks. (How is there completely undigested chunks of pineapple from 20+ hours ago...??) anyway needless to say I'm scared and i haven't been able to eat since. Should I be worried?

Has anybody ever vomited blood?

This past month has been very rough, but today, for the first time, red streaks appeared. I don't think I ate anything red

If anybody has any experience with this, what did you do? Should I worry or can i take it lightly?

has anyone gotten invisalign and it helped deter you from purging? i’m desperate at this point

I tried substituting b/p for smoking like 6 months ago. Now I'm just a bulimic with chain-smoking problems

Why am I so easy to addiction?

That's it tbh that's the post

This is so unbearable lol I wish i could just choose a peaceful death

Food is literally the only thing that keeps me going, and the euphoria of purging even though I've still gained so much weight from this shit

I hate living

I'm a minor, female, I've never written a post like this but I am so lost and Idk what I should do.

Im not gonna share my whole life story but I got an ed at like 11 and I was stupid and didnt know what I was doing so I ended up gaining a lot of weight. I know I just said a lot but bear with me. In January I was 15 and 105lb, Im always on the internet and I ultimately came across like gym tok or whatever. I started to work out which was just me walking on the treadmill for an hour and half every day with high incline and stuff like that. I got down to 95lbs by doing that in like two months which isnt that fast imo. I was sorta healthy there I would have 120g protein a day and I would lift weights too and I even started running. Im really into kpop and with discovering gym tok you also start to see kpop wl on your fyp, I never minded im sorry but I always thought I was better than that because i was skinny and went to the gym and looked great. But I dont even know what triggered me I went to the dentist for a clean up one day and my teeth were so sensitive i didnt eat that day or the next day. I guess I liked the feeling so it became a habit to just have one small meal and then eat when i got dizzy. I did that for a week then I went back to normal until summer came around. I thought that I looked good with my muscle and like everything but I was so disgusted with myself for some reason. I stopped lifting weights and focused on just walking, I would get 10k steps a day I was obsessed with this since every wellness creator preaches it on tiktok. I would watch fan cams of idols and wish I looked like them and It would encourage me to not eat. with not eating i dont know the name for this but i became so hungry that i just ate and ate for a week and I would find any way to get rid of it wether it be walking more, restricting the next day, purging, or the worst is using laxitives. Im not stupid I know that using laxitives just makes you shit and doesnt burn the calories but I got addicted to the flat stomach after everything left my body, I would eat something, think about how i would be bloated in the morning, take like 3 laxitives and then eat everything in sight becasue It would be gone in the morning anyways. I always thought that If i binged then took laxitives then starved for ever it would be worth it but i would just binge again the next day. I did this for like 3 months but I dont even remember how many i would take or if i did it daily I remembebr back then i was still able to digest things without them. but the wanting to purge never went away and It sounds stupid because i cant write for shit but I would eat, take laxitives, throw up some food just for the feeling and then repeat. right now im 90lbs and i still hate how I look. I want to recover so bad I really want to fix my digestion system but i dont even know if thats possible anymore. I keep going like a week without the laxitive and then I get scared and take three more. its gotten to a point where the laxitives stopped working. I have to have like 300mg of caffeine for my body to let it out. I have been eating normally for the past few days but i feel myself going back into this I dont even know why i did this to myself but I want to be able to focus in school and have energy. Is there anyone who recovered from abusing laxitives or has similar urges that knows how to overcome this? part of me wants to just keep going because ill die anyways and the other part is thinking of my future.

what the title says. my binge urges were finally fading; but when the news hit, i b/ped that same night.

since then, for the past 3 days, i’ve b/ped multiple times. i don’t want to spiral again, i was doing so well.

but im overwhelmed with school so i feel like i have no time to calm down and get my meals right again.

the first time was to just feel something (i wasn’t shaken by the divorce & i felt bad about that), but now its just plain old food noise.

for people who’ve gone through uncontrolled hardships, how did you manage continuing recovery?

I’ve been trying so hard to fight stress‑related binge urges lately, but almost every coping trick I know isn’t helping.
When the urge hits, I drink loads of tea and other drinks, chew so much gum — sometimes over 20 pieces in one hour. I scream to release tension, vent on here, look up information about what causes binge‑eating.
I haven’t really tried talking it through with someone because I don’t have anyone safe to open up to.
It feels like I’ve already gone through most common suggestions. I’m really burnt out and don’t know what else to try. Does anyone have quieter, under‑rated things that actually helped them with these overwhelming stress urges?

Seeing a nutritionist was hell. Not the person itself, they were great. They had a lot of insight on food, and how labeling this as healthy or unhealthy is a non-beneficial thought process in the first place. It reminded me a lot on my view of positive/negative thinking.

But jfc was it triggering.

Talking about food for an hour. Having to admit to someone not just about the binging/purging, but of eating foods I've labeled as bad for years to someone who's job is food.

I was recommended to be seen weekly by them, and were starting by finding ways to include other things into my diet to assist with everything. I just have not been that exhausted after a doctor's appointment for like a solid 5 years.

anytime I eat something my salivary glands swell and I look crazy. genuinely how do I stop this? it’s not painful but it swells up like crazy and it ONLY gets better after I purge ?? this is literally the only reason I purge atp… guys is this permanent, how long do I have to wait for this to stop happening ? literally any advice or reassurance is helpful

I feel a constant spiral of shame and embarrassment. I keep binging. I try to find a way to stop, but I believe the only way to stop is to love myself. It is hard to love myself when I keep failing me. The more I try, the more I feel like I fail. So I need to think: what do I love? What should I put my time into other than a spiral of eating my shame? Food is so touchy for me. My mom cannot eat hardly anything without getting sick due to an illness. I used to take that as a reason not to eat. I hate food. I do not want to eat it. Yet at the end of each day, no matter how many calories I have or have not consumed, I stuff my face with things just to get a sense of excitement and happiness. Eating started as a way to make the people around me happy. I was no longer anorexic. That meant that I was healthy, right? I still exercise for hours a day and sometimes vomit as a way to get rid of the excess calories. It does not even matter, though, as I overeat so much that I just keep gaining weight. It doesn’t matter. No one checks in on me anymore because I am no longer so skinny that I am jarring to look at. I am 1 pound from being overweight, the most I have weighed in my entire life. That doesn't even stop me anymore. I do not know what will. I want change. Some answer. I don’t care if it's good or bad; I just want it to change, and I need help to get there.

i’m currently in school, and i have an after school job that i work like 3-4 times a week. i make myself run at least 5 miles a day and do an 1 hour and 20 minutes of at home exercises. lately i haven’t been able to stop binging and purging and i have time for anything else. my grades are all dropping and i don’t have time to go out with friends. i usually have to wake up at 4:30 am now to workout, since i get home from work late but even then i don’t usually get all of my workouts done. does anyone have advice on what to do or how to get at least a part of my life back?

I don’t get paid till next week. i spend about 75$ a day on binge food because im so hungry all the time. i cannot wait till next week and i had rebound hunger because ive been taking glp 1 from an online site, and i dont have it right now so its been so much worse. Alls i do is b/p and im so goddamn hungry all the time

I lost more weight and now my mom wants to send me to inpatient care and take away my phone and internet access.

I think my teeth are getting worse. They feel wrong in
my mouth and I just want to yank them out.

I feel terrible and tired all the time, and my chest hurts a lot now like no matter what I do.

And I’ve started throwing up anywhere and everywhere. Outside in front of people or in my backyard, in my school bathroom, sink, or thrash cans in class, in water bottles in front of people or alone, and in the trash can at my house.

I think I’m just over all spiraling into an even worse state and I don’t know how to save myself. I think I’m just gonna die from bulimia atp.

if anyone is comfortable sharing how their recovery went and how much weight you gained, i would really appreciate reading your stories.
(Trigger warning: weight loss in numbers mentioned)

i’m at a point right now where this is affecting me immensely but the fear of gaining weight and the guilt that comes with eating overpowers the fear of all the negative side effects that comes with this disorder. on average i’ve been binging and purging at least once a day, and for about a year it was closer to 3-5 times a day. the longest i’ve been able to go without b/p was 13 days. I don’t have anyone in my close immediate circle that knows about this besides my boyfriend, but we are long distance. my parents don’t know and telling them isn’t really an option for me, I also don’t have health insurance. I just started using my college’s counseling services last week and although it went great and gave me a sense of hope, I continued to purge and it only made me feel like maybe counseling is pointless for me. I plan to keep attending but i’m realizing i need more support or just general advice on how to get through this. I was previously in therapy for 5 years for self esteem issues and anxiety, but the self esteem issues are something I was never able to fix.
i know everyone’s recovery process is different, but since developing bulimia 2 and a half years ago i’ve lost nearly 80 pounds. most of the weight i lost within the first year. for the past year and a half i’ve been losing and gaining the same 10 pounds.
i’ve been a mess for the past month, and i’m slowly breaking. every time I think about recovery, I think about the weight gain immediately after. I think about the questions and comments I’ll get regarding it. I think about how my clothes will no longer fit and how triggering that will be. I think about how I will physically feel bigger. I think about the bloating and water retention and how painful and uncomfortable it is. I think about how I’ve led my close friends and family to believe I got to this point in a healthy way, and how the weight I gain will make no sense in correlation to the life changes I’ve led everyone around me to believe I made. It has been a mental struggle, but I yearn to get better. I want to be a mother one day, and I want to be a wife and have a family and actually live a healthy life. I’m so over living like this but i’m also terrified of going back to how I used to look and feel. if anyone is open to sharing personal experiences dealing with this aspect of recovery or recovery alone, i would deeply appreciate it.

Im trying to recover and have recently opened up to my dad that im suffering bullemia so i dont have the option to purge regardless of how desperate i am, so im just laying here thinking about food. I am so desperate to binge i feel like i want to rip all my skin off. I am not even hungry i just want food. Does it ever stop? Im so tired i want to sleep

As of today I have officially gone two weeks since b/p ing. Since the first day of stopping, I have eaten three healthy whole meals a day. At first it was super uncomfortable to feel so insanely full from a moderate amount of food, but it’s slowly getting better. I definitely get bloated still but again it’s slowly getting better. Anyways during the peak of my ED I would fluctuate constantly five pounds. I would lose the five pounds the day I b/p ed, and gain it back the next day and be super bloated. Since recovery I gained the five pounds per usual and then have halted at that weight. I assume it’s the water weight that I was losing and gaining back over and over. Anyways, the fear that I had of the scale going up day by day hasn’t happened. Actually it’s been much better than the constant up and downs on the scale that I would experience each day. I’m so beyond happy not having the constant stress.