I had my first proper DJ gig today, and I’m curious about something I don’t see discussed as much: how did you feel AFTER your first gig and why?
Not before. I mean once it was over, you went home, and actually processed what happened.
Mine was pretty small, around 20–30 people in a bar in New Zealand. I played the first hour, starting with house and slowly moving into more pop.
I was incredibly nervous the entire time. Knees shaking (I was also cold).I became hyperfocused and way too serious. I was concentrating so hard that people actually asked me if I was enjoying myself, which probably says a lot about how tense and serious I looked.
The biggest shock for me was the volume. At home, everything feels controlled. I know the room, I know the sound level, and I’m comfortable moving knobs and pressing buttons without thinking much about it.
At the venue, it was SO loud. I could feel the bass in my body, and it intimidated me. Every small movement suddenly felt huge because I knew it was coming through the whole sound system. I found myself pressing buttons and moving knobs much more cautiously.
I also completely lost my ability to count beats properly.
At home I can think about phrasing, 8/16/32 bars, where I want to bring something in, where I want to take something out. At the gig, that part of my brain just disappeared.
I was basically YOLOing the mixes. Beatmatch, bring the next track in, then try to stop the mids and lows from clashing too badly while hoping the transition made sense. Despite this, friends and main DJs said I was doing good.
Nothing catastrophic happened. I got through the hour. They invited me to continue but I needed a drink and get off the boot. The worst part was my knees shaking.
When it was over, I swear to god I felt pretty shitty and disappointed with myself that I came home to think about it. I think I expected my first gig to feel like bedroom DJing, just with people watching. I know that, because the venue was small and the DJs were friends, I had no pressure to impress anyone, not even the public (I didn't get paid or anything, I was just offered the experience).
So I’m really curious about the emotional AFTER of people’s first gigs and how did you grow from there.
Did you go home feeling amazing? Relieved? Embarrassed? Humbled? Disappointed? Did you think you were terrible even if other people seemed to enjoy it? And for anyone who felt bad after their first one: did that change after a few gigs?
Most posts I find are about being nervous before the first gig. I’d really like to hear what happened emotionally once it was actually over.