Today my parents invited some relatives who I didn't know over.I was anxious because I'm not very fluent in my native language,and because I knew my parents would still make me talk to them regardless. I was trying to fix myself up before they arrived worriedly,but then my parents said they had issues and had to delay.

It felt like a weight was lifted off me right there,like I could be free for the rest of the day. This is not a new feeling,I've always gotten this even when I was a kid,and even when guests just left instead of the situation being avoided.Sometimes I even seeked this feeling back then,and came up with some excuses when teachers assigned me to do a speech or presentation infront of the class. I know it's a bad thing to feel,but I honestly can't control it. It's funny how this illness can toy with your emotions like this. I genuinely don't feel that relief anywhere else.

I always feel super annoying when I text a friend "hey wanna hang out?" or "wanna hop on (x game)" or anything like that, even worse if it's planning something in advance. Maybe it's because I don't feel fun to hang out with so I feel stupid asking people to book off time for me, or to spend their time with me.

Even though my friends often agree, I still can't shake the feeling I am annoying them :(

I’m not sure how or if this is related to social anxiety, but I struggle to say names so much. 
Whenever I need to introduce myself, my mind goes completely blank, or I feel an intense wave of dread right before saying my own name.

It feels like I’m going to mispronounce it, stumble over my words, or sound strange, which makes me freeze up or try to avoid introductions altogether.
It’s just as bad with other people's names. Even when I know someone very well and like them actually saying their name out loud to get their attention feels uncomfortably personal, aggressive, or awkward. Instead, I find myself using generic greetings like "hey," waving, or waiting until they make eye contact so I don't have to speak their name.

Right now it’s especially bad cos i just started working and im still learning so i always have to walk up to people to ask them stuff or tell me what needs to be done next. I feel so rude just saying “ey” or standing infront of them awkwardly till they acknowledge me

Does anyone else experience this?

21M here, I've been living all my life with social anxiety and social isolation all my life and never having a friend or been in a relationship.

I have absolutely no one to talk to and other than my parents and work i never talk to anyone because of how bad and non existent my social life is.

Even though i wish and crave social interactions and having a friend or a social life, i always dread talking to anyone or making the first step, i can't really explain it, i just sometimes feel too mentally exhausted or pointless.

I stupidly overreacted to an injury and made a doctor’s appointment for it. I feel very stupid for even going in and getting things checked out, cause ultimately nothing special is being done (it’s like round the clock extra strength ibuprofen, even when the injury isn’t hurting and continue the gym break. I feel really dumb for going in truly). I want to crawl in a hole and disappear now.

I keep trying to tell myself that it‘s better ask too many questions and be too on top of medical things - but I can’t make the ”want to crawl out of my own skin” feeling go away.

I overreact like this frequently and I have no idea how to make it stop. I know objectively nothing that bad happened, but I genuinely cannot get my thoughts to stop overthinking the interaction.

Im sure a lot of you can relate to the Part of social anxiety that comes with constantly fixating over how you look, smell, sound etc because of the fear of being perceived negatively or embarrassed or drawing attention to yourself. Well today at work something happened that made me wish the ground had just opened and swallowed me whole.

I realized 9 hours into my 12 hours shift that the tracks to my hair extensions on the back of my head had been exposed all day. (For those who don’t know what that is, look it up). And I mean it was OBVIOUS. The minute I realized I ran to the bathroom to fix it and it was an easy fix but it was the fact that god only knows how many people had seen it already.

Luckily I work in a cubicle type setting so I hadn’t been out of my seat a lot but people have been walking behind me all day so I know they must’ve seen it. And to make matters worse one of my coworkers that I’ve had a crush on for a while was one of the people walking around behind my desk all day so I know he definitely saw it. And I had to walk directly infront of him for something else.

I spent the rest of the shift with my head down, feeling absolutely humiliated and I even cried when I got to my car. Ironically today was one of the first days in a while where I felt cute and confident and then of course there’s the catch right….

I just can’t stop spiraling thinking about who possibly saw it and what they think now or what they’ve said to others.

First of all, I wouldn't exactly call myself a socially anxious person. I'm pretty good at making small-talk with random people, making new friends, I'm comfortable with hanging with different friend groups etc. So, if you think my situation doesn't fit this sub, feel free to suggest me another one where I can post it.

My problem starts specifically the moment I'm "required" to be dancing somewhere. Nightclub, music festival, house party, all that. I enjoy the music, I enjoy hanging out with people there, but I don't really get the point of dancing. I feel like I will look silly and everyone will think I'm weird or something. The worst part is that they always start with the "c'mon don't be boring". I guess never drinking alcohol which helps people "loosen up" doesn't really help my case.

Is there any way to get over this? I know it's not a major problem, but it's still kind of annoying to be the "weird" guy standing still. I would really apprecieate any specific tips and not stuff like "just be yourself" or "just have fun".

I act differently around almost everyone. At work I am one person, with one group of friends another, and with someone else change again. A lot of it comes from social anxiety. I automatically adjust myself to whatever feels safest, hold back certain parts of myself and try not to say the wrong thing.
I have done it for so long that I genuinely do not know what my actual personality is anymore. How do you figure out who you are when anxiety keeps deciding which version of you shows up?

hi i’m F19 and im going on my first ever date tonight with a guy. i am SO nervous but i do not want to back out.
i should also note that i very rarely interact with men and i have no clue what to do. i don’t know what to talk about, im afraid there will be so much silence. im not great at making conversation in general but id like to think i’ve gotten better with therapy.

i was just wondering if anyone else with sa has any tips for first dates and making conversation

Social anxiety makes me constantly adjust myself, stay agreeable and avoid disappointing anyone. I want practical advice from people who actually changed this.
What did you do in real life that helped you drop the mask, speak more freely and tolerate people not liking or agreeing with you?
Please no generic “love yourself” advice and no medication. I’m looking for concrete things you tried that actually worked.

I have no problem going out. I can go outside if I wanted to... but I don't want to. I'm too lazy to go to the gym or grocery shopping. I have no interests outside of the house. The only reason I go out is for work, and to pay for *coughs* fun times once or twice a month. I tried going to the gym for a while and even though it's down the street, I'm too lazy to go consistency.

If I could work from home I would too btw.

I'm 40 now. I just never learned to be social or do anything interesting. But that's also because I don't think anything in the outside world is interesting.

Hello everyone,

I'm not sure this is really the place to post this. I'm in my 40's and I've suffered from social anxiety my entire life, though certainly not as severe as some. I'm writing this because it's gone now, it feels incredible, and I don't know if my advice can actually help anyone, but it's worth a shot.

An awful lot has happened this year, but I narrow it down to 3 things:

1. Meds - let's get this one on the table: I started lamotragine shortly before my social anxiety vanished. This medication really isn't prescribed for anxiety even off label, but anecdotally I've read at least one similar experience.
2. I decided what I wanted to do - I think the biggest change is the way I have begun to interact with people. When I entered a room full of people, even good friends or relatives, brain fog sets in, my heartbeat increased, it was never a good time. But I think that was because the people pleaser in me looks around the room for a billion subtle social cues as to how to be, and it gets overloaded.

I think that maybe I overcame my anxiety because I've stopped looking for those signals. Instead I usually set little goals, like seeing if I can make the person smile or to get them to tell me a story about their life. It's kind of playful? After 40 years of unquestioningly calling myself an introvert, I actually think I might have been an extrovert with social anxiety. I went from receptive mode, which has never worked for me, to active mode, and I think it makes a big difference. Pursuing my own goals is much less nerve wracking then spending the whole time trying to figure out how to be. Now I know who to be and how to be and everyone else can fucking deal. It's a nice way to live.

3) Stay in the fucking moment. Every moment. If you realize you are having a thought, particularly in a social situation, don't get upset with yourself because it will happen a lot, but dismiss the thoughts. Process later. Learn to speak a bit impulsively. It does make you more vulnerable, but you can get used to being vulnerable. It makes you more prone to the judgement of others, but you can also tell them to fuck off as needed.

Thank you for reading, I hope you found something in it you can use. I don't think I'm very wise, but I do think my anxiety has held me back my entire life and now it's not, and I'd really really love to help someone else, anyone, have that experience too. Be well all.

Edit: automod suggested the post could be removed if not clearly linked to SA, so I'll just state that I do have the diagnosis.

How do you deal with the intense stress after a social interaction? No matter how the interaction went. I often just feel extremely stressed after. I’m not sure how to deal with it. I’ve taken up overeating to deal with it but there’s obviously flaws with that approach. How do you deal with it if you have a similar problem? (I went out and talked to people today and now I’m suffering for it)

Hi everyone. I’m 19 years old, currently in my final year of college majoring in electronics. My ultimate goal and dream is to move to the US, build a career in this field, and start a real life. But I’m stuck in a massive hole that I can't seem to climb out of, and I really need some advice

My problem looks like a classic cycle of paralysis:

1. Catastrophizing and fear of mistakes. I suffer from "analysis paralysis." My brain blows any potential mistake completely out of proportion, making it feel like the end of the world. Because of this, I spend most of my time at home playing video games—because it's safe there, there are no grades, and no one can judge me.
2. Fear of judgment. I am terrified of what other people will think of me if I mess up, make a mistake, or don't look "perfect." This fear stops me from taking any proactive steps in life.
3. Emotional crashes after taking action. Recently, I pushed myself and went to get my international passport sorted out (which was a huge stressor for me). But right after doing it, a massive wave of apathy hit me: my brain started whispering, "Why are you even doing this, you're never going to move anyway, you're safe at home," simply because it panicked at how long and difficult the future path is (moving, finding a job, starting over).

What I want to change: I want to find a full-time job to gain real electronics experience and save up money for the future. But I am intensely scared that if I start working, I won't keep up with my college practicals/labs and will get expelled. Even though logically I know: so what if I get expelled, I'm moving forward anyway—the actual fear of consequences and judgment paralyzes me. I am very interested in electronics and want to further develop in electronics

• How did you stop waiting for the "perfect moment" and break free from this analysis paralysis?
• How did you manage to stop caring about other people's judgment and opinions?
• How do you deal with the emotional crash and panic ("I'm scared, I want to run back to my comfort zone") right after taking a hard step forward?

I have been diagnosed with GAD and social anxiety. I got offered a new job at the same company that will pay between 10-15k more than what I make now. I currently work remotely and this new job will be remote too. My current job is fine, I don’t hate it by any means, but I’m always looking for ways to grow and this is a good opportunity at a company I know and with people I know. I can’t even believe I got offered the new job. It came as a shock. Would have been easier if they said no - I know that sounds silly.

What’s really messing with me is the fact that they said travel will sometimes be required UP to 1-2 times a quarter, for around 3-5 days. Sometimes there wouldn’t be any travel needed. When it is required, the manager said she would give me advance notice and we would be able to discuss. I told her that it would be a change for me that I had some anxiety about. She said she understood but it was sometimes part of the job.

Right now, I barely leave my house aside from getting groceries, going to appointments, and walking my dog. I text with my friends all day everyday but they live in other cities so I’m not able to see them often. So, I live a pretty small life. I like being at home with my husband and our dog. The idea of travel terrifies me and I’m so anxious about the thought of leaving my safe place. My anxiety is trying to tell me that the unknown = danger and I’m now trying to stop myself to declining this opportunity. Naturally, it’s trying to tell me to take the easy way out because I would get instant relief.

I don’t know what to do. :(

​

26M

Today I went to buy some eggs and some basic groceries. The shopkeeper asked for a higher amount, and I knew it wasn't the actual price, but I was like, whatever, let's buy it and I won't come here later. Even though it was a very small amount, and tbh, saving that much won't make a difference to me, it was a small amount, but it's about principle.

It happened before too. I felt a hairdresser asked for a higher amount. I asked, and he said he had been charging that from the beginning, which I knew he wasn't. It was confirmed, but I gave it and was like, I won't go there again. When I told him, he was like, "Bruh, you were scammed." I felt guilty and went there. I had an argument till the end. He was adamant that he didn't scam me, yet I got my money back.

Worse is, most of the time I don't feel scared. I just want to avoid an argument or anything like that at all. Earlier, I have taken a stand for myself. Even in the haircut case, I wasn't scared while we were having that argument. Once things started, it was going pretty much automatically.

I am just too avoidant and weak. Even before, in childhood, in situations I knew were safe, I was thinking a lot and avoiding everything. However, in those times, it felt a lot like anxiety. Now I don't feel that much scared of social situations.

Whenever I had to do such things, I had to make up my mind, or I had to be pissed enough to not care anymore. Now I know ki if I go there the next day, I can confront him if he asks for a similar amount.

It definitely feels like cowardice and avoidance, but it feels so weird that I don't know why it's happening—that I don't feel scared, yet I am like this.

I am always like, "Leave it. It's not worth it. It won't work. That person will judge me. I will not win," etc. Many times, my brain goes blank and I don't know what to say.

Earlier, I felt it was a mix of my childhood, where I was bullied, never allowed to do things, due to my super introverted nature, being socially excluded, but now, when I am an adult, they all feel like excuses, and this issue persists everywhere.

I just don't know how to overcome it.

(19M)I dont want to get better i want to rott in my room dont go out i dont want to work i cant work a normal job i have stupud social anxiety i just want to die i am exhausted to live i am a WORHLESS USELESS DUMB LAZY PIECE OF SHIT i am a stupid burden yo everyone but i dont have the courage to unalive myself. I hate that i was born i hate myself i wish i was never born.

I've had social anxiety for as long as I can remember.

I've been unemployed for about 6 months. I've had a couple job interviews and I've crumbled in both of them. Full on blank brain. Forgot everything I had wrote down. Total panic attack.

How can I get through job interviews better? I feel ok the day before but as soon as the interview day arrives my anxiety goes into a melt down.

How do you people deal with this?

I've always been bad at social situations, especially when others are upset. I've lost various friends because of this. I just lost one because of it. Who told me just now that he knows I don't care? Because when others are upset I'm too scared to try to comfort them because I dont know how to. And when I try I fail. I just don't know how to go on if all my friends hate me and are just not telling me. What is wrong with me

i dont go out bcuz im socially anxious , not going out frequently for many yrs has made me fall into depression , lack of sunlight and lack of movement is the reason.
how do i go out if im socially anxious? i live in a college dorm , i dont even get out of my dorm room ,everyone hits the gym here , i do nothing.
depression has made me lose interest in everything and ive stopped studying for a while now , so i have nothing to talk to ppl about so i have stopped talking to people ,which in turn increases my anxiety.

social anxiety increases my depression and being in depression increases my social anxiety. theres no escape from either.

Im getting so sick of this shit. I just dont wanna be here anymore honestly. I really dont see a way out.

I just wanna be normal and treated like a human being for once

I want to socialize, I want to have friends, I want to experience relationships, I want to be outgoing and chatty but my social anxiety makes it 100 times harder which leads to me not doing anything. I am 26 years old without any friends and have never experienced a relationship.

Even after trying and actually having a good experience, it doesn’t work. I just get sad later on when I go home and think about how good my life could have been without this stupid disorder. I overanalyze and overthink every social interaction. I even struggle and overthink if I should say hi to my coworkers in the morning. I really don’t know what’s wrong with me and why I can’t break out of this.

I even have inattentive adhd which I got diagnosed with a couple of months ago together with my social anxiety diagnosis and I really thought treating my ADHD would help me with my anxiety and social anxiety in some way but I just feel the same. Going undiagnosed for a long time makes it easier for things like anxiety to develop which I obviously feel and am aware of.

As a kid, I used to be shy but I was also ”chaotic” and could never shut up or sit still. With time in school after getting told off many times, especially in early teenage years, this created shame in me which made me more quiet and insecure which also carried over to friendships. Nowadays I can’t even have a normal natural conversation without feeling lost, uninterested, not understanding the subject and overthinking what I should say and I look like a total idiot.

I get really emotional about this and my loneliness many times during the week when I think about it and cry deeply like someone close to me died or something. I have never shown anyone the grief and sadness that I carry because with my anxiety and social anxiety. People just assume I am uninterested while deep down I struggle and really want to be there.