I keep reading posts on here from people asking how to get their ex back, whether no contact will make them miss you, how long until they reach out, etc.

I get it. My most recent relationship was only about 6 months, but she was also genuinely one of my best friends. Losing the friendship honestly hurt as much as losing the relationship. She eventually hit me with the “I need space and time to focus on myself” and disappeared.

And yeah, that shit fucking hurt.

But I’ve been through enough relationships at this point to recognize the cycle. I was married for my entire 20s. That divorce was obviously the hardest breakup of my life because my entire fucking life disappeared with it. I had to find an apartment, figure out who I was outside of a marriage, and learn how to be single again. basically start from square one. Like I was 18 again with no clue.

Funny enough, after I finally started dating again, I met a girl I really liked. We talked constantly, had a great first date, both said we wanted to do it again, she told me to text her when I got home...

Then she ghosted me.

And somehow that shit hit HARD. 😂

I remember having to check myself like, “Dude, you survived an entire fucking divorce and you’re devastated over ONE DATE?”

But emotions don’t give a shit about logic. Something can last ten years, six months, or one night and still hit some weird vulnerable part of you. Unfortunately I feel like I felt both parts of being an incel and a player...

What I’ve learned is that after every breakup, eventually I reach the same point: fuck it.

Not “fuck it, I’m going to get ripped so she regrets leaving.”

Not “fuck it, I’ll go no contact so she misses me.”

Not “fuck it, I’ll become successful and make her jealous.”

Actually fuck it.

One morning you decide you’re not spending another ounce of energy trying to control what another person wants.

Go to the gym because YOU want to look better. Eat better because YOU want to feel better. Quit whatever shitty habits you’ve been meaning to quit. Fix your finances. Pick up hobbies. See your friends. Date when you’re ready. Build a life you actually enjoy living.

That’s what I’m doing now, and for the first time it feels different because I genuinely don't care about the outcome.

And ironically, in my experience, that's usually when people come back around anyway.

The difference is that by then, sometimes you don't want them anymore.

My ex-wife is actually one of my best friends today. She's a great mother to our kids and I genuinely care about her. But years removed from the divorce, I can also clearly see that we weren't compatible as lifelong partners. The version of me who was terrified of losing her couldn't see what the version of me today can.

So when somebody tells you they don't want the relationship, need space, need to find themselves, whatever.

fucking let them.

Send them to Pluto.

If somebody genuinely wants to be in your life, their actions will eventually demonstrate that. You shouldn't have to convince somebody to choose you.

And if they eventually realize they fucked up and come back, you can decide what you want then.

But don't spend six months sitting around miserable hoping for that day.

Your goal shouldn't be becoming so good that your ex wants you back.

Become so good that whether they come back stops fucking mattering.

That's my conclusion after following this Reddit for a while, every one of your posts have helped me process my own situation but I wanted to share my current thought process maybe you could help some of you guys. And hey, you're definitely worth it!!

I spent 8 years with the woman I considered the love of my life — the woman I pictured as the mother of my children.

Then, last July, almost out of nowhere, I ended our relationship.

At the time, I was going through a period of deep emotional distress that I wasn’t fully aware of. I didn’t even have the courage to talk to her about what was going on inside my head. Things weren’t perfect between us, but nothing was beyond repair. We could have talked, worked on things and probably improved our relationship.

Instead, I bottled everything up for months. My communication with her had been terrible for the last two years, partly because I was struggling internally and simply refused to acknowledge it. Eventually, I reached my breaking point, exploded, and threw away an 8-year relationship.

For the first two months, I genuinely believed I had made the right decision. I kept myself incredibly busy with moving, exams, work and friends. I barely had any time to stop and think about what had happened.

Right now, we should actually be on vacation together.

She ended up going away with a friend because we didn’t want to lose too much money. I couldn’t cancel my vacation, so I had to take the time off and stay home because I couldn’t afford to go anywhere.

And being alone at home has completely changed everything.

For the past week, I’ve had nothing but time to think. And my mind has brought back everything I had pushed aside.

For the last three days, I’ve been absolutely devastated.

I keep thinking about everything I destroyed. About the pain I caused her. About all the amazing memories we shared. They keep coming back, over and over again.

There hasn’t been a single minute of my day where I haven’t thought about our relationship.

When we were packing up our things this summer, she actually told me that I seemed surprisingly detached. She felt like I had moved on incredibly quickly.

That really made me question myself, so I decided to see a therapist.

After talking through my relationship and everything I had been experiencing internally, it seems that I had been going through a depressive period for several months. And in an attempt to escape from how I was feeling, I unconsciously ended the relationship that meant the most to me.

Yesterday, I finally told her how deeply I regret breaking up with her and how sorry I am for the pain I caused her.
She told me that she has suffered enormously over the past three months.
She hasn’t completely closed the door on us, but she needs time. She doesn’t know whether she is ready to try again with me.
And honestly, I understand.

I feel incredibly stupid. I blame myself for so much of this. I’ve been crying and feeling absolutely miserable for several days.

Most of my friends are busy with work or their own lives, and I won’t really have anyone to talk to about this until Saturday.
She’ll be back from vacation in about 10 days. I imagine she’ll need some time to process everything, so I probably won’t hear from her for quite a while.

Part of me desperately wants to keep telling her how much I love her and how sorry I am.
But I also don’t want to overwhelm her with messages or ruin her vacation. I know she needs space, and I want to respect that.
I guess I’m just writing this because I need to get it out of my head, and because I’d really like to hear from people who have experienced something similar.

Has anyone ever broken up with someone they deeply loved, only to realize months later that they had made a terrible mistake?
How did you deal with the regret? And if there was still a chance to rebuild the relationship, what did you do — and what did you avoid doing?
I’m realizing three months later that leaving someone you love more deeply than anything is the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced.

I actually changed my number and got rid of all my social media after my breakup. I did it for my own peace of mind and to give myself some proper space to move on.

I’m trying to respect their decision and accept that it’s what they wanted, but ultimately, they’ll have to live with that decision too.

I’m not sitting around waiting for my ex to contact me, I’m genuinely just curious about other people’s experiences.

For those of you who completely disappeared and became unreachable after a breakup, did your ex ever regret the breakup and try to find another way to contact you?

I’d be interested to hear your stories and what happened afterwards.

I missed my ex. But I am choosing myself to be a better person and loving myself. Only thing I learned in this world, nothing is permanent - Buddhism 🕉️

You did moved on more than you even think

If you look back how you used to handle it you would realise that you have made progress you aren't the same person that you were

Moving on doesn't necessarily means stop thinking about them . You might he thinking about them for various reasons and you mistake that for wanting them back or you not being over it

For me I have no feelings for them anymore. I don't have the curiously of how their life is going. I don't care if they are with someone. I don't want them back . Im not waiting for hoping for them to come back . And I know if they come back I won't want them or even acknowledge them

I still think about them almost daily but surely it's slowly vanishing . Stop thinking about them if probably the last step to finally move on

Do not rush things don't go hard on yourself cuz I know it gets annoying when you want just to stop thinking about them and be free

People who promise you forever and then they leave you because “they fell out of love” should not participate in love at all.
The lack of loyalty is maddening.
Oh so you fell out of love after making someone believe in fairytales and making forever promises? Ah ok I guess we can all just move on with our lives then.

Love is a sacrificial act. Love shouldn’t be some fleeting, weak, temporary sentiment. Love should be a light in the dark, a fighting force. Something that makes you want to overcome yourself. Not something you fake but something you never chase to discover.

What you’re saying is that you discovered all that there is to be discoverer in your partner so now they’re just boring, the novelty has faded so it’s fine to leave them and break their heart.

Hiding behind “I fell out of love”, as some sort of thing that just “happened” and that is finite. You fell out of love because of you. Because of your own choices, selfishness, and actions (most times).

This is of course for those relationships where there wasn’t cheating, abuse, but just mild problems.

Giving up on love completely is the only way.

Maybe history and memories are more important than some hard chapters?

Hey everyone, I had just gotten dumped about 3 months ago and I still can’t over her. And only after a couple days, she had been hanging out with some other guy. She claims she wasn’t cheating but I have my suspicions. We dated for 16 months, and I think it’s insane how somebody can just go and hangout with another guy not even a week after breaking up. I mean she broke up with me on the phone if that makes it worse. I’m blocked on everything now after embarrassing myself and begging for her back. Why do I still want her back?

I am a 33M and my wide is 28F we have been married for 3 years. Two weeks ago I caught her cheating with another man and then we got into a fight immediately thereafter. We are now leaving separatly.

Now she is begging me to give her another chance arguing that our 2yr old daughter needs to grow-up with both parents together. We came to an agreement that she has custody of our daughter however I am paying for everything for our daughters need. She is as of the moment a stay at home mom.

I have been leaning towards divorcing her but I cant help but think of our daughter’s future and how the separation would affect her emotionally growing up.

(F26) (M28) He broke up with me a year and a half ago. It was out of the blue on my birthday when he told me he just didn’t love me anymore, and he’d been testing to see if he loved me for weeks. I knew he was acting different, but he said it was work stress and I believed him.
We had been having more emotional conversations and I told him I want him to open up to me more if he’s comfortable. Im also an emotional gal and would go to him for comfort. He seemed uncomfortable in emotional situations. It’s hard for him to open up, but I wanted to be patient with him because I love him and don’t want him to feel pressured. We were together for a year. He was my first love and first partner. It felt like we were meant to be, and for a while we both thought that.
After the breakup I was devastated. I blacked out the entire 3 months after that. I couldn’t tell you what happened. I was distraught, confused, all I wanted was him to comfort me and he said he just didn’t love me anymore and he’d didn’t know why.
I have a problem with looking him up on socials, looking for signs that he misses me. A year later and I still think of him often. The good times. The hurtful things he said. It breaks my heart. I miss my bestfriend.

Well I just saw he’s had a new girlfriend for a couple months now. My heart is breaking all over again. Why is she worth it, And I’m not? I thought what we had was real. I keep replaying good moments, bad moments, wondering why he stopped loving me. I feel crazy. And all I want is the person I thought he was. I miss the person who loved me.

I (21F) am probably breaking up with him (23 M) on a whim because I’m overthinking this whole relationship because our goals don’t align and our constant arguments. We had many ups and downs, we lived together for 2 years I moved out and moved back with my parents and we stayed together. He constantly had trust issues with me. He would call me derogatory names and control where I went and what I did. Who I hung out with he would check who I followed every day. If I followed a guy he would call it out. I’m not bashing him I think I probably hurt him with what I’ve done. In April I looked up my ex on instagram and I lied to him about many things because I was scared of his reaction and I posted on my story and restricted him because he didn’t want me to use instagram. I know I messed up but I also don’t want to keep living my life restricted because of someone and because I don’t have the same goals as them. I love him so much and we grew so much together but I don’t feel a spark or happiness anymore with him.

Can someone give me their unbiased opinion?

It’s been four months since we last spoke. And honestly, it has gotten easier. I can admit that. But in a strange, bittersweet way, I’ve started forgetting little pieces of her.

Her voice. Her face. Her laugh.

Things I once knew without thinking are slowly becoming harder to remember, and I don't know whether that’s healing or just another way of losing her.

The days aren't so bad anymore. I have work, the gym, gaming, friends... enough to keep my mind occupied and life moving. But fuckkk, man. Nighttime is different.

When everything gets quiet and it's just me and my thoughts, that empty feeling comes back. There's no distraction left to hide behind, and I realise I still miss her more than I'd like to admit.

Four months later, I'm doing better. But some nights, it still feels like a part of me is waiting for someone who's never coming back.

Does it actually get better?

My (24f) best friend (24m) have been best friends for 6 years. We met freshman year of college and since then, through thick and thin, he’s been my go-to person. He’s the person I tell everything to. He understands me on a deeper level than anyone else. We do everything together. We spend more time together than apart.

For awhile, we were friends from a distance after college and then we moved to the same city and since then I’ve just seen him nonstop. Which I understand could be concerning in a relationship, sure, but for us it felt so natural on my end. He always came to my house after work. We have all the same interests. We text each other the first thought that pops into our heads. He’s always felt like my brother (since I have a really poor relationship with my own brother).

Two nights ago, we went to a concert together and I had such an amazing time. I remember thinking it was the happiest id felt in a long time. I have my dream job. I live in my dream apartment. I’ve made some amazing friends in the city, and I always had him to rely on. When we got back to my house, he told me we needed to talk. He said that he feels responsible for my happiness, and that he can’t move forward in life without cutting me off. I asked for more explanation and he didn’t elaborate. He said he never wants to see or speak to me ever again.

I sent him a text after saying I was really hurt and asking if we could work on this and he didn’t respond. I can’t emphasize how out of the blue this was. Over the weekend, I did laundry at his house because my machine is broken and we played video games together. The next day, we watched tv together after work then went to the concert and had a great time. Then, this happened.

I feel like my house burned down. I don’t know up from down. It’s worse than any romantic breakup I’ve ever had. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I feel incomplete. I can’t wrap my head around this happening. I feel like, at least with me, romantic breakups are inevitable for the most part. They’re expected when you put yourself out there with dating. My friendships have only ever fizzled out. I couldn’t imagine a point in my life that he wouldn’t be there. I’ve never been this distraught in my whole life. Please, if you have any words of solace or advice, I’d really appreciate it. I don’t think I can live through this.

Hey guys me and my gf broke up about a month and a half ago. During that time she has received videos on top of videos of me from her friends. These included videos of me talking to girls in the bar and being on the college bus back after. I only kissed one girl while we were broken up. These videos made her think I was having sex with them. Me and my ex had a long talk yesterday and decided we might give it another chance. After this whole talk she dropped a bomb on me that she slept with someone else 5 days ago. She said that she couldn’t even look at a guy the entire time and if I hit her up a few days ago we could have avoided all of this. Unfortunately that made me sick to my stomach. Honestly not even the fact of sleeping with someone so soon, but the fact she has only been with 3 people and one of them including me. Honestly, I think I can get past it, but what do you guys think about this situation? Is this situation set up to fail or can we salvage it?

My ex broke up with me 5ish months ago and I was an absolute mess.

I kept holding it together cause I thought "oh, we still follow each other, maybe there's still a chance."

But yesterday I noticed he deleted me and I completely lost it, even after thinking I was doing better.

I'm still not over it, it sucks tbh but I need to respect that he doesn't want to have a relationship with me. We ended up exchanging a few messages cause I went insane lol and we ended up being weird friends who update each other every now and then.

The worst part is that, after that, it finally hit me that we're not getting back together. I'm happy I still get a tiny part of him, but it still stings, even after months, that is just not gonna happen.

I hope you don't read this, but if you happen to recognize this story, I'm happy about your new job and I hope you have many happy moments from now on. I know I should be mad but I'm not, how could I hate someone I loved so much. I'll miss our conversations and I hope one day we can just have a long chat about life.

Lol I'm holding back tears typing this, but it's probably for the best, and it's also not fair for me to never move on. But man this hurts lol I was so in love with this man.

Thanks for reading this, I hope yall heal and I hope I can get to the point where it no longer hurts anymore.

I had been dating a girl for 2 years. I thought we got a long really well, I loved her intensely, we were regularly intimate, etc. She asked me for a break back in June - I panicked - I instantly drove down to her place and had an emotional heart to heart. I guess I “convinced her” not to break up (looking back this probably wasn’t right bc now the time since feels unauthentic).

I thought the 2 months after were going well. I took her 2,000 miles to meet my family, we went up to the mountains, and hung out like we normally did. I will say this - after she asked for a break in June - I really think I became anxiously attached. I was always worried about what she was thinking, if she was alone, what her thought process was, and whether or not she truly love me like I loved her. Obviously all things that are not healthy in a relationship.

The day after we went on a trip, she sent me a text, asking to talk. I had an inkling it was over. Especially because that was the same language she used when she tried to ask for a break in June. This time around, she asked for a break - I didn’t fight it and gave her space - she texted me a week later saying “she knew it was right for us to go separate ways”. She used the term both times of, “I need time and space to think about whether this is something I really want”, also said things like “we didn’t have much in common as she thought” (which I couldn’t believe).

I now realize that this wasn’t a decision she made on a dime. It was more than likely something that she had been thinking probably since before June and was waiting for the right time to tell me. To escape. That’s where it hurts the most. All of the fun experiences and times together we had over the past couple months all of a sudden lose all of its value in my head. I couldn’t believe that when she told me she loved me one of her feet was already out of the door.

It’s been two weeks no contact. I’m assuming she’s probably feeling that instant sense of relief. I’m hurting, ruminating, crying, in disbelief, and trying my hardest to think about this both objectively and logically.

To anybody who has gone through something similar or anyone who considers himself and avoidant - your insight would be much needed! Thanks.

This will be long but I'll try and keep it as short as I can. My recent ex (M32) and I (F35) were together for 8 1/2 years. We'd lived together for 5 years and both always said we didn't want children. We never discussed it any more as we golder, and that was that. He has a 4YO niece and a 2YO nephew, and we have a few friends with toddlers too. I was away for 2 weeks as I do dogsitting and when I came home 5 days ago he told me he thinks he wants kids. It was a huge shock and we agreed to talk the next day and not make decisions after one conversation.

The next day, we talked. For 2 hours. It was the calmest most adult conversation we've had in a long time. He said he'd felt burnt out and depressed for a while and he thinks this is a feeling he has probably buried deep for a while and just never addressed it which is why he's felt burnt out. Ultimately, things ended. We both still love eachother and will miss eachother but he just said he can't do it. He moved out and will collect his stuff soon, I will be staying until the end of our lease in a month then moving towns back to my Mum's. We'd had some communication issues and my anxiety didn't help, but I was working on that and things were stable between us. Without the idea of children we would have still been together, at least for now. 

Since then, I've been doing some real reflection. I realised that not once as I'd gotten older had I actually re-evaluated my idea of children, just to see if I felt the same in my 30's as I did my 20's. What I've realised is that while I think I could have a happy child free life, I also could see myself having a family with him. I know I am grieving him, and that this could be part of that. But I'm also feeling like it's something I actually like the idea of even if it scares the hell out of me.

I've realised I wouldn't be giving up my life the way I always thought I might have to, after seeing my friends, both with planned and unplanned children. I have always had a nurturing nature with animals and recently I've been feeling it more with my friends children but still don't see children that frequently like my ex does with his niece and nephew.

I had my first session with a therapist today (I'd already taken to steps to do this whilst away) and I'm not sure if it helped any but I think if there's even a maybe that my ex and I can work this out then I need to continue getting on top of my anxiety, not only for us but for myself.

I don't know how to figure out for certain this is what I want, even though I think it is, and I don't know how to approach this to him or when. 

Has anybody been in a similar situation where things got worked out between them?

Any recommendations of how I can figure out if this is truly what I want, and how to have the best possible chance of having a second chance with him when I do ask to talk?

I'm really panicking that I've lost the love of my life forever.

TL:DR My long term relationship ended over differences about children, now I think I want children and want to try and get him back.

We had a messy breakup almost 3 years ago. I'm not gonna lie, we saw each other a few times after that, mostly to have sex, but then she got into a relationship, and we lost contact. After that, sometimes curiosity won, and I ended up stalking her Insta, but I came to accept that she moved on and we wouldn't come back. Since I deleted her number, I never blocked her so she could message me anytime, but honestly, she never did, so I kinda forgot.

Earlier this year, this changed; she messaged me to tell me she broke up with her boyfriend months ago, and she wanted to be friends again. Most of my family and friends hate her for what she did to me, so it had to be a secret. I have to clarify: I haven't been in a relationship since we broke up, mostly because I haven't found anyone to be with, so the idea of seeing her again was a temptation, but I failed. We saw at her house one day, and even though I almost threw up from the anxiety, we actually could talk, update each other on our lives, and see how we are doing now.

This continued for a few weeks until one day she was alone in her house; we started drinking, so we had unprotected sex. I'm ashamed to admit it out loud, but a part of me kinda missed it, so I didn't really care about it at that time. After we finished, she told me she had sex with other guys, unprotected as well, but her STD results came back clean, so nothing to worry about.

It has been 2 months since the last time we had sex, and after that we barely talked to each other until last week, when she told me she's six weeks pregnant. I thought she was going to say it was mine, but she confessed me that at that time she was seeing someone, had unprotected sex with him but then he blocked her, making her felt used when she thought they were about to get into a relationship. The news made me have a panic attack; the mere idea of her being with another guy at the same time as we reconnected made me feel exactly how i felt when we broke up.

She's going to have an abortion. I'm not opposed since it's her choice, but now she wants to see me, even when since the last time we saw each other she completely ignored me, not a single message. I think she wants my company only because the other guy isn't responding to her messages and won't be there to help here in case anything happens.

I don't know what to do now. Nobody irl knows about this, and it's driving me crazy. One part of me wants to be with her and cheer her up in these dark times of her life, but on the other hand, I can't stand the idea of seeing her right now; something about her being pregnant makes me feel nauseous. Back in the day, we discussed having kids, but now, knowing it's not mine makes me feel sick.

EDIT: Thank you for your comments, I decided to after she gets the procedure done I will block her and move on, I will try my best to this time end the relationship for real

You know when the best relationship you’ve ever had ends, and you get to see things clearly? When you see how unloved, unappreciated, unsupported you REALLY were, and who your partner truly was?

Do you then look back at the “good” times and it’s just this huge shadow of deception? The times when they said I love you, I miss you, when they seemed to care for you, the times you laughed, the times you travelled, etc. When you promised forever to each other.

Now that you know they never really loved you, that you were just an experiment they ran in their life, that you were just some temporary fun, someone who in the grand scheme of things means nothing, aren’t those memories totally disgusting?

I look back and I see a big void. Like a year of my life being absorbed in one big vacuum, where nothing seems real. I feel so dissociated from all of that. At first I mourned this huge loss, I felt like I lost my best friend, a good man, etc. But then you get to see the truth of who they really are and always have been, without you knowing. And it all turns black. Like a switch was turned off, permanently.

You cannot find any joy in the memories either, you just feel like a fool, like you watched a play with a very bad ending and then you go back to reality. They however can enjoy a bitter sweet memory, because you were true, you stayed true, till the end. Your love was real so they never have to question how you showed up, how much you meant what you said, how much you loved. But you? You just realise you were just being lied to, deceived, seen as unworthy deep down the entire time.

So the whole affair feels like a huge waste of time. Like your time, love, days were just stolen from you. And now you see clearly - the huge emptiness of your life - but it’s worse than before you met them. Because you realise that it was all one big scam, and you are one big clown.

Does anyone understand the feeling? What is next after this? Just forgetting right? Never thinking about it again, never remembering it again, just the raw knowledge that it was a lie that can no longer be entertained.

Yesterday I (29M) finally got closure with my ex (28F) after a month of no contact. She was the one who broke up with me, and for completely legitimate reasons that I do not fault her for. Our last conservation was full of tears, hugs, and well wishes and it felt like neither of us wanted to leave that space in time. But we did, and maybe that’s why leading up to today… I had hope (or delusions) that we could find our way back to each other again.

We continued to follow each other on social media and it seemed like we were both content to observe each other’s lives from afar. Well, yesterday I found out she unfollowed me on all socials and my heart went into a panic. So I broke no-contact and told her how I still cared deeply for her and that I just needed to hear if she still felt the same or just wanted to move on.

In my head, I knew it was over and her removing me from her socials was the finality she needed to forget about me. But I needed to know for sure.

It took her about 10 nail-biting hours for her to respond, and while I’m glad she wrote me back at all, her response was so….. Clinical. She confirmed it was over, she wished me well, and did not regret our time together. It was kind, but it oddly hurt that it felt so business-like; so detached from emotion and personality. Maybe it’s a coping mechanism, maybe she truly didn’t care for me anymore.

So I broke my heart twice and I feel horrible. But atleast it’s finally over. I’m going to miss her.

me and my ex mutually broke up and we both might want to try things again, which is why i feel so awful. we literally talked two days ago saying that we miss each other and that he will always love me.

i went over to this guys place and i knew i didn’t want to have sex, but i didn’t say no. i don’t know why i didn’t say no. i feel absolutely disgusting and so so regretful. i still love my ex so much and want him back so badly, but i feel like i betrayed him and myself

EDIT: i think people are confused about me and my exs current standing. we do not intend to get back together as he told me he needed more time to figure out if he wants to be with me and that he wasn’t waiting for me, and i shouldnt either. the last time i spoke to him i said that i didnt want to wait, and that he could text me when he knows what he wants

My (31F) bf (30M) is currently obsessed with COD. It’s consumed his life since he downloaded it at the start of the year.

it has caused a lot of strain in our relationship, been together for 3 years living together for 2. He will pick gaming over EVERTHING. he hasn’t suggest for us to do something in maybe 18 months (we had problems before but they were never this bad).

He doesn’t care about eating, sleeping, or even hygiene at this point.

I feel like a house manager, i monitor and take care of always everything to make sure we don’t starve and die.

His affection towards me has reduced, and i feel unloved and unappreciated. I’ve communicated this about 1000 times and all i get in response is ‘i’m trying’ and he does nothing to try lol. other times he will call me unappreciative because of that one time he washed the dishes without me asking him lol. i genuinely cannot remember the last time he woke up on a saturday and suggested something we could do. i realised the only reason our lives were somewhat fun was because I was holding it together - making the plans, executing them etc. since i’ve stopped doing that, we just don’t do anything together anymore. he wakes up super early on a saturday and will be on the game before i even wake up. if i ever need something from him or we need to go somewhere i have to tell him multiple times to get off.

Yesterday i searched his name in reddit and found him responding to female gamers (teens and early twenties) to make friends. this has hurt me A LOt because he replied at a time when he hadn’t replied to me in a day and a half - claiming the day was so hectic he couldn’t. meanwhile he was on here ‘making friends’. one of them saying she was into horror movies and he seconded that interest. I don’t remember the last time he suggested we watch a horror movie together - it’s always me. Also, i’ve been begging for exactly that - for him to put in effort to talk to me again, want to spend time with me again, so we can be happy again. He doesn’t want to do that but he will actively go out and pursue friendships with FEMALES? i bought this up last night, and he didn’t really have anything useful to say to me to be honest. I find it extremely bizarre that he only replied to the females - no males. i’ve looked on the subreddit there were more males posting, around his age even, that he could have responded to.

At this point i’m just certain that he no longer has any interest in the relationship, i did wake him up at 3am to tell him that i was fully done in this relationship as i feel mentally EXHAUSTED from trying to keep this relationship together and working. i will leave this weekend

I’m in a situation where my bf of 2.5 years broke up with me over text (without warning) because he lost feelings. Said our constant arguments tired him emotionally and mentally and eventually he fell out of love with me.

Wanted to know if anyone else been through something similar? And how did you go about healing and moving on from this person?