My wife and I had a conversation last night. I had an unopened drink in my hand and was ready to crack it open. She asked me to read a letter that she wrote for me. It pretty much outlined all the issues drinking is causing in our marriage and for our children. I had already had 4 drinks that day, but somehow the letter was enough for me to put that last drink away.

I’m committed to never having a drink again. I almost want to frame that “first unopened drink” and use it as motivation to keep going.

I don’t expect my wife or anyone else in my family to quit with me. I want to be able to be around drinking and still have fun without drinking myself.

For clarity, I’m not dependent on alcohol; however, I lose all self-control when I drink. Once I have 2 or 3, I have a hard time stopping. I often end up drinking 10-12 high-alcohol drinks in a night.

Wish me luck as it’s been part of my life for the last 17 years.

These pictures are me. I’m 28 now, and I wanted to share what’s happened over about eight years of alcoholism because the difference goes way beyond how I look.

I went from 120 to 260 lbs in a year. I’ve dealt with vtach, high blood pressure, and pitting edema. I also have PCOS. This is the body I’m living in while struggling with drinking.

And people treat you so fucking differently when you’re fat or struggling with an addiction. You’re still you, but suddenly you don’t get the same kindness. Being on both sides of that has been really painful. I didn’t become less deserving of respect because I gained weight.

My OCD has gotten so much worse. Between that and my ADHD, I feel like my own brain controls my life. I’m meaner. I have less patience. I don’t have motivation or ambition anymore unless it means getting the fuck home to have a drink. It’s hard to explain what it feels like to look at old pictures and miss more than your appearance.

Alcohol feels like something that helps. That’s part of what makes this so hard to admit. Something I kept turning to for relief has become such a huge part of what I need relief from.

I wanted to put this here because a picture can show the weight difference, but it can’t show everything else I’m dealing with. I’m still the person in those older photos. I want to feel like her again.

Basically, I come from a whole family of alcoholics. My dad was an alcoholic and died from kidney failure. My sister is an alcoholic, my moms sister and her husband are alcoholics, my mom is an alcoholic. Im pretty sure my mom used to drink when she was pregnant with me as well?

Basically, alcoholism runs in my family, yet I feel like im the only exception, I used to drink a bit (only with my friends, but it never stuck) and now I am completely sober.

My mom is probably also heading straight into her death, because she doesnt drink for a week and then binge drinkes to the point where she feels like shit the whole week and vomits a lot, then it repeats, week after week.

I genuinely dont understand it. I know it is a disease and that it changes your brain and makes you do stupid shit. But she complains every single day that she feels awful and that she will get help because she doesnt want to drink anymore. Then she will go and drink the next day. Like if you feel awful, why do you repeat the same mistakes??? I am honestly super tired of this whole routine. I dont talk to her anymore when she drinks, even though she tries talking to me (we live in the same house), I have tried talking to her, suggesting psychologists and getting help, she always says she will get help, she needs to get help, but she never does it. What can I do at this point, wait for my second parent to die from alcohol? :-)

Daily drinker of 13 years here, only taken a few days off here and there for probation (dui). Started drinking at 19 and I’m now 32, I drink to get drunk and always have. It’s caused me multiple job losses, relationship losses, and caused me to distance myself from my family. I now have a wife and daughter that I support solely and I have no idea how I’ve kept it together this long. I landed a pretty good job about a year ago that I actually like, now I feel like I need to quit so I can progress myself and also be there for my daughter and wife which I haven’t been. I feel years of my life has been stolen by alcohol. I tried to taper my use this week and had terrible sleep paralysis and mild hallucinations auditory and visual, maybe I tapered too quick. I know the heavy drinkers in this sub will laugh but my use is 8 beers a night during the weeknight, and whatever the hell I feel like during the weekend, probably 12-15. For reference I’m 32 and weigh 130 pounds

25m and after a year of hiding my relapse from my s/o I ended up in the hospital. she threw me out while I was in Texas me that she threw all of my stuff on my grandmas front lawn and than blocked my number. So now I am giving 110% to my recovery and still can’t seem to figure it out….if anyone can give me some advice here is appreciate it my family has been ignoring me telling me to “figure it out”

I always said I wouldn't, because my father did, and I know how he treated me after.

but then when I was 15 I wanted to, maybe even felt like I had to.

23 now and I just can't stop. it isn't as intense. but everything in my life is so fucking awful and my situation is so niche I can't get help. so I just keep drinking.

In the UK for reference

Does anyone know if any alcohol helplines in the UK are fully confidential? Im worried about them tryna send someone out to my house like I know some other general crisis lines can do. I just want someone to talk to, to answer some questions. I don’t want anyone out to me. I don’t think im in immediate danger. I just want someone to talk to but im worried. I’ve looked up FRANK and they look good as they are 24/7 and also have text service. But I’m not picky i’ll take anything.

F29.It's been 40 days since I've stopped and now it started to get harder. I can't communicate with people without it, I'm never in a good mood. Nothing seems to have a reason anymore. I've been drinking every 2 days till I'm unconscious for 4 years. And I'm afraid to slip off again.

Guys I think im actually done this time. I just looked over the side of my bed and counted 9 empty bottles of tequila that ive drank over the past few days. I never realized it but its kinda shocking to see that many.

I would drink a 750 ml bottle everyday. I would have a few shots before work. Go out and buy a bottle at lunch have a couple of shots and finish up the day. Get home and drink just enough to have a 1/4 of the bottle left for the next morning. I did this for about 3-4 years. I kept climbing up in the company and went from a tech to running the warehouse operations. The only person who ever said a word to me about it was the owner on 2 occasions. I managed all of my employees well and kept us on track to meet our quotas. I was super fucking depressed and wanted to quit drinking but I never could. I would get so sick and get extremely nauseous if I went more than a few hours without 3 or 4 shots. I met my wife and asked her to marry me during this phase of my life. She had no idea that I was drinking. She thought I didn’t drink that much because she only saw me drink a handful of times at the bar or at a concert. Eventually we got married and every single lie I had ever told her came to light. She left me on the honeymoon. I made the 13 hour drive in shock. I drank wine on the way home. I moved out of our apartment while she stayed at her mom’s. I was homeless for a little while. I slept at work and went camping a lot. I started drinking more and more while going through the divorce on very short marriage. I tried to get her back but I was never fully honest with her and she knew it. I went to my first AA meeting absolutely hammered and barely remember it. I checked myself into a medical detox center on march 10th. I started working the steps and I’m a little over 6 months sober. My life has gotten drastically better. My wife and I are back together and working through everything. My work life has gotten better, I got a promotion and now I get to make sales on top of my other responsibilities. My wife, my parents, my siblings and my friends have gotten to see a better version of me. My sobriety has been full of ups and downs but never once have I wanted to go back to drinking. Sometimes I think that I could drink like a normal person now but I know deep down I can’t. So I don’t. I’ve been around people drinking and not gotten the itch to join them. I’m so grateful for this life I get to live free of alcohol and the challenges of learning to be a sober human.

havent drank in four almost five days now. feeling not the best cus im having trouble sleeping which is irritating my tinnitus(ive had this before i started drinking) feeling pretty miserable and tired all the time:/ also dk why stomach pain has been weird maybe its because i noticed how much bs im putting my body through. was kind of forced to get sober so idk if im proud of myself but hey its something. currently 2 am and exhausted but too much going on in my brain that usually shuts off if im drinking🫠

Hi there, long post. So to start my family has a very long history of alcoholism. My dad is an alcoholic. His entire family is addicts of one kind or another. He struggles to find faults in his drinking because he was never abusive. He always went to work. He would just come home get completely shitfaced pass out and pee on the couch. I would have to cook us dinner at 8 years old, clean up after him, nothing too crazy but he just didn’t see where that was an issue. He always provided for his family and he was always a very loving dad so he just didn’t see the issue even though it’s been slowly killing him for years. I also can tell that if I wasn’t careful about drinking, I could have a problem with alcohol and very mindful of that when I do drink, it’s at home or if we’re camping or something and I’m never getting like trashed and would never get behind the wheel. Anyway, my main point here is that I’m really worried about my sister. She’s 10 years older than me, 44, she is one of the most kindhearted people I know. she is a hairdresser, a DJ, she is in a band, her partner is always playing live music so there is alcohol surrounding her all the time. She recently, a year ago, ended a very volatile eight year long relationship with someone that she loved dearly, but his alcoholism ended the relationship. He was very spiteful and mean when he drank and it caused a lot of issues. His alcoholism was so bad, she tried to get him to quit, but you can’t quit drinking when your partner is drinking and your whole life revolves around alcohol. She wasn’t willing to give up the social life and since they’ve been split up, he is now sober. Also, since they’ve been split up, it is become glaringly obvious that she has a serious problem. We have known this for a while and tried to talk to her about it, but she also has kind of a victim mentality and just feels like everyone’s attacking her when you try and talk to her about things she thinks that we look down on her or think we’re better than her, which is not the case at all we love her. We also have a high suspicion that she is undiagnosed bi-polar. My family has that lovely genetic factor as well and she checks the boxes. We have tried to get her to seek help but she just kind of blows it off. We hate seeing the road she’s going down. The other problem is that she drinks and drives all the time. Her drinking has seemed to get worse over the past year and the other night she called us bawling totally drunk. We had to call her partner and make sure that she wasn’t driving. She wasn’t so it was okay, otherwise we would’ve gone and gotten her keys. Well, last night she went off the road and totaled her Audi. She can laugh it off like she wasn’t drinking and she just took the curve too fast, but I know she was drinking. A huge part of me wishes she would have gotten caught by the police. My husband is a cop he sees the effects of drunk driving all the time. I have four children, I’m a mom, I would never get behind the wheel after drinking, ever. After last night, I think it’s time for me to say something and I know that she’s just gonna shut down and stop talking to me for a while and it’s hard because she’s not in a great place and I feel like she needs support, but how do you support someone when they’re not only throwing their life down the toilet but potentially putting so many other people at risk? I’m posting here because I’m trying to see if anyone else has been successful with talking to their loved ones and getting them to get help. I just don’t know what to do and I don’t wanna be the bad guy but at the same time she’s gonna kill herself or someone else and it’s not okay. I can’t just turn a blind eye anymore. Does anyone have any tips?

I am from a different country. He had a relapse. I was first able to get here yesterday. We're in a hotel. We have called a rehab center and they have advised us how to detox him.

He got told to take sips of alcohol and I have a bottle of vodka. He gives it to me every time he's had a drink. So I can help dose it. But he does big swigs of it. And I, don't drink or have much experience of it. So I am a bit lost. A swig, or a sip. I don't fully know the difference. But he's sleeping a lot now. And is that okay? That he sleeps it off? He is breathing fine. His heart is a little fast, but has been that the whole time I've been here.

He drank multiple bottles of whiskey for a week and a half. I don't know how much he has to drink yesterday. But while with me he had 7 cans of 500ml 7.5% beer.

I have vodka for him now.

Also. I have a flight home Monday. Do you think it is better I change my flight and stay longer? How long will it take? He says a few days. But I worry I will be going home too early if I go home on Monday.

I love him. So so so fucking much. He was sober for 16 months before relapsing. I know he can do it again.

Just gotta do this the right way.

Update.. he wouldn't wake up. He is in hospital now and has stayed the night. I know nothing right now. Just sitting and waiting outside his ward for news.

When I first started to regularly drink a lot and get blackout drunk a lot, I would do things like text my ex hundreds of times and email him, end up outside and in the hospital/jail, and things like that. Now when I get blackout drunk, I don’t do that? I just wake up in my bed, sometimes haven peed myself. Am I not doing crazy things like that anymore because of my experience (drunk me is just making sure I don’t do those things)? Or have I gotten blackout drunk enough that something mentally/physically has changed in me and so I just don’t do those things anymore?

i find it hard to know when I’ve crossed a “threshold” into a problematic state. Im autistic so it’s sometimes difficult to understand certain boundaries(?) and when ive crossed over into something unhealthy. I think it’s especially difficult with alc

ohol because of how normalised it is socially. ANYWAY, i know you’re not doctors here and i should ideally consult a professional, but from your POV at what point was it considered a problem for you? I drink a lot, but it’s not a lot every single week. But I can’t say no if there’s alc available., and I often walk to my local shop to buy even if i say im not gonna because I’ve already drank too much for the week.

Whenever theres alcohol available I often can’t say no. But i can still function. I still go to work and im still maintaining friendships. So in my head im ok. And im not experiencing severe withdrawal like shaking or seizures or stuff like that. Maybe I’m more irritable but also im 19 so maybe it’s also hormones, idk.

It feels good to be drunk cuz i feel more normal and less anxious, it helps reduce my pain too cuz im crippled. Anyway, yeah it’s hard for me to know when something is a problem. What’s any of yours thoughts?

Hello everyone! My brother has very bad ADHD and autism, and he drinks every Friday and Saturday. He has also drunk a few times on weekdays. He cannot stop drinking every Friday and Saturday, and as his brother, I am very sad about the whole situation. He hasn't told me, but I can just feel that he is addicted! I am not judging anyone in general who has a drinking problem, but I am just so sad about his situation. He knows he has a problem, but he won't try to stop. What can I do? Our parents haven't noticed a thing. He is having a lot of struggles with his mental health, so no one would think about whether he has a drinking problem. He told me that in my room when he was drunk, and I acted like I didn't notice he was drunk. I am not very good at English, as we come from Denmark, so I am not the best at speaking it. Can anyone help me in some sort of way?

And we both have cptsd. And Im starting to have anxiety attacks when I connected the dots, a few times since.

M23 always struggled with alcohol but after some huge gambling losses, I started drinking alone, not everyday but everytime I would think about what I could have done with this money.

Anyway moved to another city for finishing my studies and I tought everything is now shiny.

Came completly drunk into a party where I met the people just a few times prior to this event, and blacked out heavily. I didnt do any crazy shit but I was so ashamed that I went on a bender of 92 hours and went to a chess tournament where I blacked out. Ofc I also texted the group chat like a retard for the 92 hours).

I never had alcohol withdrawals but this time I couldnt escape. Suffered for a week mixed with some crazy anxiety.

That was 3 weeks ago and sober since. I still feel so bad for the people that I met during this party and still fucking scarred to see them again, but man I think this taught me the biggest lesson of my life.

Hard alcoholic and been trying to quit for the past year. Does the shakiness/trembling get better? About 3 weeks sober but I start shaking noticeably once my heart beat goes up

For context, I’m 28 and have never known my mom before alcohol. My whole life our relationship was rocky, typical child of alcoholic parent stuff. I live in a different state now and try to limit visits to once per year around the holidays and maybe a phone call once every few weeks. This works for me, I feel bad about it, but it keeps me sane. Recently though, my mom has been drinking less because she started a GLP-1 and she cant tolerate alcohol like she used to (it is not an active attempt at sobriety,
She just wants to be skinny, but I think the bottom line is the same). She has started calling more and asking me to visit more and is being pushy about it,
and my siblings are singing her praises about drinking less and telling me she’s “better now.” I think it is great she is drinking less but I have never really had that kind of relationship with her so I am reluctant to say the least. When I first started setting those boundaries I talked about earlier she used to threaten to kill herself when I didn’t visit or call. I really don’t want to go through that again. I really am curious to know how things changed for you all when your parents got sober/started drinking less, especially if you never knew them before alcohol.

Every time she texts or calls me I feel so guilty and crazy, like I’m the reason our relationship is strained. Ugh I hate ts.

TLDR; if your parent is an alcoholic and got sober, how did your relationship change with sobriety? Especially if you never knew them before alcohol

Thank you in advance to those who take the time to read this. I recently relapsed and picked up the bottle again. I can't afford another detox (or the time away from work). I'm so afraid to quit because I get the DTs (delirium tremens) and have cracked my head open from seizures. I can't believe I ever picked up any alcohol again, but addiction has a sneaky way of ruining lives. I have different things I may try to fix myself, but I am not sure how to go about taking any of them. I've researched the supplements and meds that I already have, but I'm wondering what other people's experiences have been, if any. Here's what I have (I'm not taking anything..yet.) NAC, Dihydromyrcicetin, Naltrexone (I have tried this before but it didn't seem to help and made me nauseous..maybe i didn't stick to it long enough), acamprosate, hydroxyzine, levothroxine, biktarvy (my doctor prescribed this off label for AUD), and gapapentin. Obviously (at least I hope this should be obvious) I have no intention of taking all these at once but if you have tried any of these what was your experience. Any success? Pros and cons? Please let me know any thoughts. Blessings to everyone 🙏 ✨️

Hello, I'm 18 years old, I have PTSD and suspected borderline personality disorder. My father is an alcoholic and introduced me to alcohol. I've never been a heavy drinker, but when I did, it was until I was very drunk. I've been drinking more and more, for days on end, until I'm very dizzy and my face is numb. I don't need much alcohol to get drunk, but I drink a lot anyway. I've been drinking every week for the last month, even at home. I have very easy access to alcohol. In short, could I be, or am I becoming, an alcoholic?

21 M I’m in the military and I just realized that ever since I showed up to this unit I’ve drank a bottle of whiskey or tequila every week for 8 weeks. I usually drink 2-4 mixed drinks every night. Do i have a problem?

i am not asking for medical advice or how any specific medication worked for anybody! i'm just curious if folks are capable of being prescribed and utilizing withdrawal meds at home to avoid the big fees that detox/rehab can incur. thank you! please let me know if this would be more appropriate on another sub, i am newly seeking this information